#two calm and collected birds with their disaster golden retriever

[thiotchi]

Of all things, I accidentally made myself ship Cora/Mihawk and King/Mihawk and @raging-barbarian got me started on a rambling tangent for a "Zoro raised in Wano by Mihawk and somehow King and Cora are both involved" AU (instead of working on, y'know, my 30+ wips).

(Please don't ask me how this started, I still have no idea.)

So Mihawk (~23) finds baby Zoro (~1) literally just wrapped in a blanket and floating out at sea in a basket. Mihawk recognizes like a pendant or something with a Wano family crest on it (land of the samurai - he knows his shit) so he takes Zoro back to Wano, only to find out that there's no one left to care for him.

(And maybe they found Toddler Perona (4-5) on the way to Wano and, well, he's already In For A Pound in finding homes for abandoned children)

This is young Mihawk, he's not just going to abandon a baby to the wild (he was an orphan too? Zoro is just that adorable and they bonded?) and maybe this is before Mihawk found Kuraigana so he's literally just living bounty poster to bounty poster (like Zoro was) so he decides to stay on Wano for the time being. It'll be time to learn more about the way of the samurai too, so bonus for someone who's going to become the World's Greatest Swordsman.

Since this is all like 20 years in the past so everything with Oden is recent or just happened, of course Kaido's right hand King (~26) is going to go investigate this outsider and potentially extremely dangerous person who just showed up at their border.

Does this end up being love at first sight? Who knows, but King sees Baby Zoro in Mihawk's arms and Toddler Perona clinging to his coat-jacket-thing and King thinks of 7-8yo Yamato (whom he is practically raising because Kaido is a shit dad) back at the castle and he. Can't do it.

It's still up for debate on how King convinces Kaido to let them stay but surely it would be a good idea to keep a Warlord close? to make sure that the World Government/Marines aren't finding out The Plans.

(I just realized that Mihawk might not have been a Warlord by his early 20s but shh.)

Something something skip forward a few years and Mihawk meets Cora at like a Warlord meeting, either when Cora is still a marine or undercover as Doffy's right hand.

Do Mihawk and Cora bond right then? who knows. Maybe while they're waiting for the stupid meeting to start, Mihawk just starts talking about His Kids because maybe Zoro stained the shirt Mihawk decided to wear that day and he Literally Didn't Notice until Cora pointed it out to him. And Cora just listening (pretending to be mute) to this Extremely Scary Warlord who got a Bounty That High without even having a crew and considered one of the Strongest Swordsmen in the world talking about his children (which now includes Yamato) like they're Everything to him.

Maybe Mihawk is the reason why Cora decides to go against his brother/go against the mission to save Law. His job as a marine means everything to him but if Mihawk teaches him anything, it's that sometimes you gotta put that Aside.

Grabbing Law and going on the hunt for the Ope Ope no Mi goes a lot smoother. Perhaps Cora knew about Vergo being in the Marines (as a result of going to Warlord meetings) and warned Law? Or Law found a different Marine to bring back to Cora while he was heavily injured. Or maybe, knowing about Cora's plans, Mihawk (30) was the one to find Law (13) and Cora (26) and bring them back to safety on Wano.

They're only there long enough for Cora to heal safely and for Law to recuperate from eating the Ope Ope no Mi and cure himself of Amber Lead Disease but you definitely know that Zoro (8) and Law (13) have tiny childhood crushes on each other (or maybe Law has like a huge hecking crush on Zoro if you want to be closer to canon) when they separate. They think it goes away over time but then they see each other when they're older and realize that it was more than a simple childhood crush.

Cora does go back to the Marines (long-distance pining for Mihawk who he gets to see at Warlord meetings and okay, maybe he misses King a bit) but Law still ends up as a pirate somehow, maybe going back to North Blue after finding out that Doflamingo and Kaido are working together on fake devil fruit.

Kaido starts becoming really abusive because Yamato is failing to meet his Extremely High Expectations and Mihawk is many things but he's not abusive and just lets him and Perona do whatever they want so it doesn't sit right with Zoro and he knows King can't do anything. So when Ace (17-18) shows up on Wano (looking to fight Kaido except he's not there so ends up running into Mihawk (38) instead and "eh, good enough" only to get his ass kicked), Zoro (16) begs for his help to break Yamato (23) out of baby jail Kaido's prison.

Zoro and Yamato both leave Wano together because if there's one thing Zoro can't stand, it's the thought of his adoptive older brother going back to being treated horribly.

Only both Yamato and Zoro get separated from each other at some point because they're both shit at navigation. So when Luffy finds Zoro like In Canon, Zoro is all "yeah, I'll join your crew if you help me find my brother."

Yamato and Zoro have only been separated for a couple of months at most but you can only imagine how Yamato (26) must be worrying over his baby (19) brother by now. Zoro gets lost easily!! (ignoring the fact that Yamato, himself, is lost).

Luffy, of course, agrees because it's like a free 2-1 nakama and Pirate Hunter Zoro's older brother of all people? SCORE.

Wait, wouldn't Demon of Wano and Oni of Wano be cool matching epithets for Zoro and Yamato?

So the rest is just following Canon except with Yamato being part of the Straw Hats. You know, just your average 9-foot-tall, horn-having, skull-crushing dude with a baseball bat kanabo.

Skip to Sabaody.

Both Zoro (19) and Law (24) have existential crises when they see each other again at the Auction House ("Oh no, he's hot!") and Yamato, older than BOTH of them, going "hmmm, something suspicious is happening here".

Zoro gets sent back to Wano because obviously he didn't pay enough attention to his lessons (his chest scar, prior to leaving Wano, is evidence of one such failed lesson) and Yamato gets sent to Cora (37) maybe. Where Cora can teach Yamato about how sometimes your loved ones can also be Absolutely Horrible people and you gotta let them go.

Cora and Mihawk both having to fight at Marineford (Mihawk is much less phased because he's just Like That while Cora is a blubbering mess) only to go home and find one of their Children (Yamato as Cora's by extension) has been sent to them by that one Warlord with Bear Paws for Hands.

Ace still dies because it's too crucial a point in time. I'm sorry.

Kaido is the reason Zoro (20-21) is missing his eye - as punishment for running away with Yamato. It would've been worse (Zoro likely would've been killed) if King hadn't convinced him that it was better if Zoro was alive - Yamato would be more likely to come back home. And then King (47) is the one to (secretly) help Zoro (21) leave Wano to go back to Sabaody and there's a tear-jerking heart-wrenching reunion scene between King and Yamato (28) before King has to return back to Wano.

When it comes to making the alliance (Law totally chose Luffy out of all of the Supernovas because Zoro, you can't convince me otherwise), Luffy is like "heck yea, I wanna punch the shit out of Yamato's dad" and everyone else is a little bit more on board. Yamato and Zoro both had to deal with that asshole and probably (accidentally) shared tidbits about how their childhood was really difficult (a la living in Wano under Kaido's rule).

Not to mention the surprise of everyone on how Zoro, Yamato, and Law know each other:

Zoro & Yamato: Our dad's are dating.

Everyone: Wait...wtf

Law: You don't have to word it like that.

Yamato: King and Mihawk were far better dads than my dad ever was

Zoro: and they're kind of long-distance dating Cora

Law: Who isn't actually my dad!!

Everyone who remembers Cora shouting 'THAT'S MY SON!!!' from across the battlefield at one point: uh-huh

And when it comes time to beat Doflamingo, both Zoro and Yamato are heavily invested in punching the shit out of him (especially Yamato, who just spent 2 years with Cora).

So they defeat Doflamingo, go to Zou, and then go to Wano. The Straw Hats still gotta go save Sanji from WCI but Yamato and Zoro both go with Law, obviously.

While they're waiting for the rest to show up, Zoro shows Law around Wano properly because he'd been sick the last time he was there and this was, y'know, the place he grew up (they're totally not dates except that they are).

The time to fight Kaido comes.

Zoro fighting King is basically just emotional with lots of sword swinging (King had to take his mask off in the first 20 seconds because Zoro had never seen it before and wouldn't stop laughing) while Yamato is finally standing up against his father for the first time.

After everything is done and over, Mihawk comes back and looks at the aftermath and goes "I was gone for two days" (more like a month but okay). Everyone else is just "Do we need fight this guy too?" until they realize that that's Zoro's other dad. The Main Dad. The Strongest of the Dads.

Perona pops out of nowhere and shouts, "You were in Wano this whole time and you didn't STOP BY??!??!?!" and gives everyone a heart attack.

I don't know what happens after this because, well, we're still fighting Kaido right now. But Cora probably shows up so it's a Proper Family Reunion and, as the one with the least tact, is probably the one to ask why Zoro and Law aren't married yet.