#twilight alistair headcanons

[charlottesbookclub]

Hello there!

I'm the main from @notfoundfootage , I came here to thank you for sharing your beautiful writing with us mere mortals! Your portrayal of Alistair is so good, you and @frodoshaggins do such an excellent job with this, my little heart be damned.

What do you think Alistair thinks of a partner/friend that wants to become a vampire?

Omg think about being buried in the woods with him !!!! Cuddling under a mossy tree !!!! Like lil turtles in winter!!!!

Meanwhile Carlisle is in the background happy that Alistair found a companion but questioning their life choices 🙂👍

hi my dear!! 💖

ahhhhhhhhh thank you sooooooo much for your super sweet words!!!!!! I am blushing, giggling, kicking my feet rn like this is so nice ahhhhh ����🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

honestly I'm having such a good time writing him (both in his historical timeline and in the modern one ☺️) and it was genuinely such a pleasant surprise to find people here who still wanted to read stuff for him! I mean, I think there's like 3-5 of us, but everyone's enthusiasm and kindness has made it feel like such a wonderful and welcoming community! team alistair is small but mighty I guess ☺️💕

okay also I was so excited about your question that I wrote maybe a bit too much, so I'm putting my answer to that under the cut! 🥰🥰

and omg my first official tumblr alistair meta question I'm so excited!!!!!! um okay so I think that if he were with someone who wanted to become a vampire, I think initially there would be a little bit of like "wait... you want... this??" and not in an angsty or religious-guilt way à la edward (and carlisle to a lesser extent) but in more of the sense that I think alistair is very.......... conflicted on vampirism as a concept. his transformation was hugely traumatic, and (at least in my interpretation of his character/backstory, which will eventually be addressed in "king of all birds" 😈) I think he lived for quite a while in confusion about what he actually was, which likely only furthered the trauma he was already experiencing. additionally, his entire vampire life has pretty much been lived in fear and on the run from various threats (both real and imagined), so it doesn't seem like he was exactly enjoying his time as a vampire

however, I think that at his core, alistair is a very practical person, and he realizes that being a vampire is the hand he's been dealt, so he just kinda.... goes with it?? I think he also realizes that in some ways, his transformation (and the events that occurred as a result of it) saved him from a lot of complications that were piling up in his human life, so there's also a strange sense of almost gratitude that further complicates his ideas on vampirism. also, in this scenario, it was him being a vampire that led to him finding his partner/friend, so there's also some gratitude that this very long life of isolation and fear finally led to something wonderful and good

but now that I've waxed poetic on alistair's complicated thoughts on vampirism (which was also not the question you asked, so I'm very sorry for going so far off course here 😭😅) I'm going to completely agree with @frodoshaggins assessment of this situation as they lay out in their sfw headcanons post (letter W) that alistair would end up changing his partner because he couldn't imagine living without them now that he knows how happy he can be (*cue "All I've Ever Known" from Hadestown*) 🥹�� so in the situation where his partner actually wanted to be changed, I do think he would experience a lot less stress over it, since he would come to the conclusion that he needed to do it eventually anyway 💕

and omg yes once they are both vampires they will ABSOLUTELY be sleeping in the moss!!!!! so frickin cuuuuute 🥹🥹 or like a nice little hollow tree covered in ferns??? top tier snuggle spots for alistair and his vampire partner 🥰🥰

and lmaooooooo carlisle and all the more "human-ish" vampires being like "uhhhhhh okay I guess" I'm WEEPING 😆😆 alistair and his partner visit just like covered in little bits of moss and lichens and esme is like "carlisle they are ruining my clean house why tf did you invite them??" and carlisle is just like "sorry babe I genuinely did not think that finding a partner would make alistair more weird but here we are I guess" 😆😆

okay, now that I've written a full novel here, I'm so sorry this got so long! 😭😭 I am clearly Not Normal™️ about this man

but thank you so much again for this absolutely lovely ask, and feel free to pop back into the ol' inbox anytime, I'm always excited to talk about alistair or anything else!!!! ☺️💕🥰💖

[simpfordemetri]

Garret and Alistair sharing their partner (reader)

BEING MATED TO ALISTAIR & GARRETT

⟳ & ♥︎

✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧ ✧; :🎀: ;✧

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Well being mated to this two is really a long travel

You have Alistair ,the quiet and antisocial one ,not much of a speaker but a really good listener ,most of the time you understand what he wants or need just by looking at his eyes .

Then there is Garrett, the complete opposite ,he enjoys talking and is extrovert ,loves making different plans which can be quite dangerous if you are human .

By that ,Alistair has to put you two in place more times that he really wants to ,he is extremely afraid of you hurting yourself by some dumb activitie Garrett proposed .

He is a bit paranoid to be honest and that causes a lot of fights between him and Garrett ,usually you have to get in the middle of them .

Garrett is the one for affection,he loves cuddling ,hugging ,kissing … everything that means touching you ,he also enjoys PDA and is not ashamed of having you sit on his lap in front of everyone

Alistair on the other hand prefers if he is the one deciding when to start affection ,he is not very good receiving nor giving ,sudden affection can make him a bit awkward and reacting a bit like this :🧍🏻

However he will make sure to make you know you are loved by him ,he is the one for gift giving and wordd of affirmation

He usually calls you by your name and Garrett is the one to call you Gorgeous

Sex is either with one of them or the two at the same time but that’s up to you ,however both of them are top

Alistair is vanilla while Garrett is very kinky and wants to try everything if you are comfortable with it

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think Alistar and Garret would like each other?

I feel they would be a nice friendship.

I don't recall in canon what they thought of each other, but I think it was very little/not much. Garrett was mostly hanging out with Kate and making the moves on his new lady love. Alistair was busy being terrified of the whole ordeal and then booked it when he saw Bella making plans for her daughter that made it seem like she thought they were all doomed to die without telling anyone.

Given all of that I...

Have to disagree and do not think it would be a nice friendship. Garrett either is flat out not interested or else contemptuous of a man who fled for the hills at the first sign of danger instead of sticking it to the man (remember, Garrett took the opportunity to give a rousing speech no one asked for in the middle of the confrontation). Alistair, for his own part, would think Garrett's trying to get them all killed.

[obireads]

Alistair SFW Alphabet

I wrote this instead of sleeping, enjoy.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

People show and receive love in different ways, sometimes all; so I’ve split into 5

 Words of affirmation – This man is the first to tell you that he’s proud of you, or that you’re doing great. He truly loves watching you flourish in whatever you put your mine to and is your biggest supporter alongside it. He loves telling you how beautiful you look, or complimenting you in general. He lives off the flustered look on your face every time he does it.

 Quality time – If you like parallel play, this is your man. You may not always do things together, but he’ll be whittling away in the corner as you go about your hobbies. He loves watching films/tv with you, even if he doesn’t enjoy the film he enjoys cuddling up with you on the couch.

 Gifts – He’ll steal anything for you, if your eyes light up as you pass a store window, its in your house the next day. You want for nothing, truly. He’ll make you things, too. Little wooden figurines, leather gloves he’s made.

 Acts of service – You need something fixed? It’s done before you even have a chance to mention it. He’s scoured the instruction manual, and it’s done. He’s a lousy cook, given he hasn’t eaten proper food in a very long time, but will genuinely try. He’s bringing you cereal and mildly burnt toast in the mornings, along with tea or coffee so you can eat before you get up.

 Physical touch – Loves to have his skin on yours, even if its just interlinked pinkies when you’re walking, or your legs on his lap when you are reading on the couch. He likes to practise braiding your hair if its in range. Running the back of his fingers up and down your arm. Forehead kisses. Arms around your waist when you’re cooking or washing dishes. He knows fine well what gentle kisses on the side of your neck or your shoulder does to you, and it eggs him oon to be a complete tease through and through.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Becoming best friends with this man is a long and arduous journey. Carlisle has been trying for centuries now, and Alistair doesn’t even text back. It is a lot of work to get close to this man.

It is absolutely worth it, though. When this man is your best friend, he is your ride or die. He’s got your back even if you’re clearly in the wrong and will check you on it when you’re alone instead of in front of others. He’s a great listening ear, and will forever show interest in whatever thing that has caught your attention, even if its silly.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He really does but he won’t ever admit that out loud. If you’re close enough to Alistair to be able to cuddle him in the first place, its pretty easy to figure out what he enjoys and what he doesn’t without his verbal input.

Whether you’re human or not, his favourite ways to cuddle would be with him on his back, with your head oh his chest. Maybe a wee cheeky leg over the waist too. He’ll play with your hair, running his fingers across your scalp, and will hold you close as though you’ll get up and run at any moment.

He also loves to lay on you, he’s heavy despite his slight build, but he’ll lay between your legs with his head on your chest. Extra points if you also play with his hair, too.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Not really one for settling down with kids and a white picket fence. Settling down for Alistair just means being with you. He will follow you wherever you choose to go, in anything you choose to do.

Cooking? No. Guaranteed the fire alarm will go off every time he gets near a stove, and he doesn’t really know the perfect blend of spices for much of anything. He does try, though, and that’s what counts.

He had never cleaned before in his life, and truthfully, he doesn’t leave a lot of mess by himself, but if he can help you by doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom, he’ll give it a good go so that you don’t have to do it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I’ll be honest, Alistair would run away. Quite simply. However, he wouldn’t commit to anything unless he were very sure it wouldn’t end. He’s in it for the long run. If this man even introduced himself to you, hes not leavin.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage isn’t anything necessary to Alistair, he is happy to exist alongside you without it. He’s completely committed to you whether you have a ring on your finger or not. If you were to get married, it would be a small affair, and that would be his only request. Would be absolutely chuffed to call you his spouse, though.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Incredibly gentle. You are cherished in this relationship, like you’re made of porcelain. This man will never raise is voice around you. He’s holding you when you cry, listening to your grievances, whispering encouraging words to you.

In terms of himself, it isn’t often he’s emotionally vulnerable, but it does happen, and he appreciates a loving partner to get him through it. Listen to his fears, to hold him when he grieves.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

LOVES hugs, does not love hugs from people not on the very short Hug List. If you’re not on that brief list honestly don’t even acknowledge this man’s presence he would prefer if you did not speak to him what-so-ever.

If you are on this list, a hug is his guilty pleasure. Loves to scoop you up into his arms if you’re reunited after a while apart and will hold you for as long as you’ll put up with it.

His huge feel safe, you are secure in his arms. Despite his low body temperature, they’re warm. He smells earthy, like moss. Always smells like he slept outside—in a good way.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Honestly? Years. Saying the big “I love you” is a terrifying prospect to anyone and saying so for the first time would put him in a position to be let down/emotionally vulnerable which he simply will not do easily.

However, he will show it. You know you are loved because he is simply there, You are looked after. He will do things for you, is attentive to your needs and wants.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not a very jealous person at all. Quite insecure in himself though. He’s convinced you could find better, do better than him, and that there’s someone that could offer you more than he can. It takes him a very long time to realise that he means as much to you as you do to him. Once he realises this, there is no long-lasting doubt in his mind about your feelings or loyalty.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Very soft. Alistair isn’t a rough man with his kisses. Gentle slow kisses that leave you wanting more. He loves to leave kisses along your shoulder or leaving a lingering kiss on your knuckles.

His favourite kisses to receive are on his neck, or the rushed kisses on his cheek when you’re running out the door.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Not very good. Children are all in your business and asking questions, as is their curious nature. He doesn’t appreciate it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

On a slow morning, you are wrapped up in each other’s arms and its hard to tell where one of you begins and the other ends. He’s kissing up and down your skin, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

On a busy morning, he’s woken you up with breakfast, and half of the things that need to be done are already handled. If you’re with Alistair, you have to be fairly independent, so he won’t do everything for you but will do everything he can to make your day easier before it has even started.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Sat by the fire, on the couch, talking or partaking in hobbies. Theres always more to learn about you, and him, so there’s lots to discuss and its not often that you run out of things to talk about.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Again, it takes a long time for this man to feel safe enough to open up to you. When he does, it’s little by little. Most of his opening up comes from questions from you. He wont lie to you, but if there’s something he isn’t ready to discuss he’ll tell you so, and your reaction to this will determine if he will at all. He doesn’t like prying, so respect his privacy and he’ll open up to you eventually.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Depends on who you are. It doesn’t take much to piss him off, as he’s pretty much pissed off by default.

If he loves you, you’d have to do something pretty atrocious for him to be genuinely angry at you over it. I’m not sure he’s one for forgiving or forgetting, so he’d be gone.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers absolutely everything about you. Some things you don’t even have to say. He is paying attention to your reactions to things. This man does not know anything when it comes to wooing, or getting to know anyone, so he relys on watching you to figure you out and what you like.

Theres not a birthday or special event that gets missed. He is your own walking calendar.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you laughed at something he said. It was some shitty comment in passing about someone he used to know centuries prior. It was the first time you’d genuinely laughed at his hand, and hearing it made him warm up inside.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Very safe. Though, he would much rather wrap you in his arms and take off running than risk you at all. If it came down to it, this man would fight to the death for you. There is no way he’s going to risk losing the only person he can stand to be around.

Would also protect you in ways you may not think. He always has your back when you’re not there, and will protect your integrity as though it were his. If you talk shit about his partner, you are not getting away lightly.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He tries his hardest. I wouldn’t say he gets it right every time, but he puts in genuine effort to make these days go well for you. That’s what counts.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He’s honestly pretty rude. He doesn’t know how to talk to people most of the time and will give unfiltered commentary even if it isn’t asked for. He doesn’t mean it to be hurtful, that isn’t his intention, he just genuinely doesn’t know how to socialise or interact with anyone else.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Before you he didn’t wash at all. He;d have twigs in his hair, mud under his fingernails and three week old blood on his shirt. Alistair couldn’t give a rats arse about how he looked, because no one saw him anyway.

After you he found himself taking more pride in his appearance. He may steal some new clothes, he’s washing after he feeds, and he takes care to get the sticks out of his hair. Still not particularly looks focused, but he doesn’t want you to be with an absolute slob.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Alistair still likes to spend time on his own. He’ll go and do his own thing for days at a time. He could not be with a partner that is co-dependent because it is simply not in his nature. Same goes for you, if you want to get away with friends, he will hold down the fort until you get back and tell him all about it.

If he were to lose you completely, though, he wouldn’t survive it. This man has been through too much to lose something else he cares for.

I honestly believe that even if you weren’t too keen on being turned, he would do it if he needed to in order not to lose you, and just hate himself for it later.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This man is a prime shit talker. He loves the gossip, loves the drama. Will covertly ask you for more information so that he can have the tea. He’s judging hard too. He likes to people watch, and you’re the first to know when something strange happens, or if it’s simply something he doesn’t personally approve of.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

General – Large gatherings. In his mind there is nothing worse than making small talk with people in order to survive an event. Alistair will not be your plus one to that wedding. No way. He’d rather eat bricks.

He doesn’t like Edward, either. The melancholic little drama queen it way too up in his business for his liking, and if they’re forced to interact his inner monologue is in Middle English the whole time. That nosey git can go fuck himself honestly.

In a partner – He wouldn’t appreciate someone who is socially focused. While he’s happy for you to do your own thing, if you are constantly in need of company from others, he would simply not be with you. Same goes for co-dependency. IF you cant spend time apart, he isn’t interested.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He does not, but sometimes he will sit in a complete still state and hes not at all there mentally. I wouldn’t consider this sleep, at all. Just winding down time for ya boy.

LMK what u think, this and other headcanons linked below. I feed on attention so pls give it to me

[therealvinelle]

George | Twilight Saga Wiki | Fandom This guy gives Romanian coven leaders vibes. Do you think he'd get along with them

(Anon is referring to Alistair's creator George, who claimed to be a demon named Astaroth. He conned Alistair's father into thinking he could make Alistair a demon who'd take the throne of England, and all Alistair's father had to do was surrender his wife and daughters.

One accidental patricide later, Alistair was so traumatized by the ordeal that he retreated to the English forests where he remains to this day.)

Frankly, George seems like he'd get along with a lot of the characters from canon. Bella, Emmett, Garrett, James, the Denali if he's cute, the newborns in The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, all come to mind right away as people who'd think George is a riot.

The Romanians would love him as well, I'm sure, and talk his ears full about how in the olden days, there was no notion of thrones belonging to anyone but vampires. Those were the days, George, and damn the Volturi!

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

🩸Twilight Masterlist🩸

Smut: 🔥🔥

Fluff: 🌸🌸

Heated Fluff: ⭐️⭐️

Friendly: 🌈🌈

Angst: 🌨️🌨️

💙 Collage

💚 Oneshot

💖 Preference/Headcanon

💜 Quotes

💞 Blurb

Alistair

- Masturbation 💚🔥

- Bird Sanctuary 💙🌸

- Nomadic Loves 💖🌸

Caius

- Interesting Human 💞⭐️

- Ouch 💞🌸

- Princess 💙🌸

Demetri

- Together 💚🔥

- Sexy Vampire 💙⭐️

Felix

- Noncon 💚🔥

- Together 💚🔥

- Adopted Granddaughter 💜🌸

- Aphrodite 💙⭐️

Garrett

- Nomadic Loves 💖🌸

Jasper

- Mermaid 💙🌸

Paul

- Bella’s Cousin 💚🌸

Multiple

- Dating Volturi Guard 💖🌸

- Vintage Kink 💖🔥

- Stubborn Mate 💜🌸⭐️

[twilightt-fantasy]

If you're not too busy, would you mind doing the 💤 Napping HC and ⛅️ Sunset HC for Alistair please? Thank you :)

💤 Napping HC with Alistair:

- As much as Alistair loves you, most of the time, he gets so bored laying in bed with you.

- There’s very rare occasions when he can lay with you while you sleep or nap for a little bit, but most of the time, he works around your house or sits outside to give you a quiet space.

- When he does lay with you, he likes to hold you close to him. 

- The first time you ever napped on him, you had to tell him to give you a little room, just because he liked to hold you a bit too tightly sometimes. 

- He loves the moments he gets with you when you lie together like this, and wishes he was able to do it more often, but he’ll take what he can get.

⛅️ Sunset HC with Alistair:

- Alistair loves to be outside. I can see him living outdoors most of the time, just to be in nature.

- He is so happy that you like to be outside just as much as he does. 

- Your favorite activity to do with Alistair is watch the sunset.

- You both do this every. single. night.

- He always brings a blanket for you because some nights get chilly, depending on where you’re living at the time.

- This is his favorite time because you two talk about everything and you’re always so relaxed against him as you watch the sky change into different colors.

- He likes to watch you during this time. You always point out how pretty the sunset looks, no matter what. He enjoys the look of admiration in your eyes. 🥺

- He’s super cheesy and always tells you that you’re prettier than the sunset. 

- If you fall asleep on him, he’ll hold you close to him as the sky grows dark and then he will carry you back to the house to let you sleep properly. 

[early2000smovieimagines]

Being Alistair's mate and reuniting with your sister Esme during the battle would include~

(my crap gif)(requested by @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ )

D- Y/n is the biological sister of Esme. She is turned by her mate Alistair on her deathbed after a violent fight with her husband. Years later she is able to reunite with her sister as they prepare to face the Volturi.  

(warning: light mentions of domestic abuse, drinking and death. Not graphic but I wanted to give a warning just in case)

- Following a drunk home was particularly easy. Hunting a human wasn’t difficult per say but the clean up could be. Yet, never drunks, they could be picked up and tossed in any alley and it wouldn’t make a difference either way. The police would go around and ask where they had been; ‘the bar’ would be a citizens answer and the case would be closed. Easy. Not that he really had to worry anyway.

- Alistair had been traveling for two days when he landing in your quaint little town. He was hungry and it was the perfect time to pick a prey. A married couple walked by, two business partners, individual important looking men, too important to not be missed. He was growing frustrated, but then he saw him, stumbling and red faced, the perfect target.

- The game of “chase” didn’t take very long, the poor bastard only lived a few minutes away from the bar. In no time Alistair was standing in the mans yard, leaning against a tree in the dark, waiting to strike. It was time and then it wasn’t. There was a light in the window...someone else was home.

- Alistair waited, contemplating leaving right then and there, if the man had someone living with him then he wasn’t worth the trouble. But then he heard it, a shrill cry that only a young woman could make and the reaction he had to it alarmed him. It physically hurt him to hear the sound, it made him feel the most awful sense of panic he had ever felt.

- He didn’t like it, in fact he couldn’t take it, so he made his way inside. The first thing he saw was the clean home, pristine save for the muddy marks the mans boots had made on the wooden floor. But then he saw the man, now illuminated by the light of the room down the hall, heaving and shouting as he shook and swung at something; someone. The next thing he knew he could hear a body drop to the floor. 

- In an instant he was inside of the room, his hands tearing the man away from the person and throwing him to the other side of the room. He quirked his head to the side, giving the person below him a long look. Giving you a long look, trying to take in every feature of your face.

- You were absolutely breathtaking. An angel that existed in a world of awful loathsome creatures. But you were dying, he could smell it on you. The effect the thought of you, a stranger, dying had on him was unlike anything he had ever felt. He wanted to keep you, he had to keep you, had to keep you alive, and so he would. He turned you that night and your lives were never the same.

- You were hesitant to trust him, you were hesitant to trust any man. Who wouldn’t be after all that you had been through? But Alistair was fine with waiting, in fact he seemed happy to. Even if you were his mate he had to get used to being around others nearly as much as you had to get used to being around him.

- Although he was brooding when you first met him it seemed that his mood had improved considerably with your growing presence in his life. You couldn’t deny that you enjoyed his company just as much as he enjoyed yours. You seemed like a match made in heaven. 

- It wasn’t long before the two of you were all but inseparable, hardly leaving each others sides and never wanting to. For the first time in a long time you were happy. 

- You’re on the move a lot, never staying in one place for too long. Alistair is a nomad at heart, it isn’t natural for him to settle down in one place. You don’t mind though, in your previous life you’d never been far outside of your home town. The change was welcome.

- You don’t stay in touch with many others like you, save for one person: Carlisle. 

- When Alistair told you about him and his family you felt a pang of sadness twist inside you. Esme, just hearing the name immediately upset you. It had been so long since you’d seen your sister, not even counting the years after you were turned. You’d tried to seek her out soon after you changed but couldn’t find a trace of her anywhere, years later you found her obituary. 

- Esme Cullen, you couldn’t get the name out of your head for days after you had heard it. You sat thinking of your sister as Alistair contemplated coming to the aid of the Cullen's during their time of need. 

- You were more excited then you should have been when he asked if you’d accompany him to their home and help in the battle. Perhaps you felt an odd sense of hope, as though this Esme could have ever possibly been your sweet Esme. 

- You arrived at the Cullen residence late in the evening nearly as anxious as Alistair. You both took comfort in your locked hands as you approached the door. 

- Before you could even knock it opened to reveal the tall blonde doctor your mate had mentioned. He gave you a warm welcome, telling you how it was a pleasure to meet you and urging you to come inside. Alistair squeezed your hand as you walked forward. 

- You could hear voices inside of the house, one room in particular; the living room you assumed; it made the most sense. The three of you quietly made your way into the room but you and Alistair hung back by the doorway. 

- The group before you turned for a moment to see who had arrived and in an instant you heard the sound of shattering glass. Your eyes shot to where the noise came from and then you went stiff. 

- Esme, brilliant, beautiful Esme standing off to the side of the room her eyes wide as though she’d seen a ghost... and perhaps in a way she had. Alistair stiffened beside you and pulled you protectively into his side, Esme’s eyes quickly moved to take in the man beside you before they shifted back to you. 

- She walked over delicately as though she was frightened you’d disappear before her eyes if she moved to fast. You moved from Alistair’s side and the two of you ran the rest of the way, wrapping your arms around each other. 

- You stayed that way for a long moment before she pulled away, her hands moving to cup your face, a quivering smile on her lips. “I thought you’d died. I thought you lived a normal life, my god what happened?”

“I should be saying the same thing to you,” You laughed quietly. “All those years ago, I read all about how you had died.” 

- You hugged each other again before you got a hold of yourselves and pulled away. You turned to look at Alistair and Esme acknowledged him fully for the first time. 

“My mate, Alistair.” You told her. 

“Boy do I have a surprise for you.”

- She smiled, laughing quietly as she took your hand and led you over to a group of vampires all with the same golden eyes. Edward was the first to come forward, offering you a smile, the confusion the rest of his” siblings” had was absent from his face. 

- You could feel Alistair behind you as you introduced yourself and tried to remember each of Esme’s “children's” names. Carlisle went to Esme’s side, telling the two of you that you should go somewhere private to properly reunite and catch up, that he’d talk to Alistair about what was in store for everyone. 

- You turned to look at your mate, a silent question on whether he was alright on his own. He gave you a reassuring nod and a soft smile, you beamed back at him as Esme took your hand and led you out of the room. 

[volturisecretary]

Poor Demetri is about to lose his “best tracker in the world” sticker now that Aro knows that Alistair can track Bella, while he can not.

[charlottesbookclub]

Tarot card and foundational young life event for alistair and garrett if thats ok?? 👉👈👉👈

send me a headcanon request 🥰

hello my dear!! 💕💕 yes omg that's absolutely okay!! ☺️☺️ I'm so exited to do these! 🥰🥰

Alistair

🃏 – what tarot card do I associate with them?

idk this might be a basic choice but I simply have to go with the hermit. not only is Alistair quite literally a hermit, but I also think he really resonates with the meaning of the card. the hermit is all about turning inward and silencing the distractions of the outside world to better connect with yourself, which it seems that Alistair has spent pretty much all of his life doing. it's a card that is all about quiet contemplation and internal retreat, which is so perfect for Alistair's character

🐣 – what was a foundational event in their young life?

since I've spent so much time thinking about Alistair's backstory as I work on "king of all birds," I've come up with a few events that I think were really pivotal for him, but I think the most significant has to be the first time he witnessed falconry and the first time he tried it himself. falconry seems to be his one real joy and passion, and so I imagine that his introduction to the sport must have been hugely significant for a young Alistair. he's someone who often seems to be a bit of an island and who gets stuck in his own head a lot, so I imagine that having that falcon on his arm was a way to connect him in a really significant way to something else, and to almost externalize himself a little bit. he has this animal there that he is now working in tandem with, and that he is, in some way, responsible for, and I think that gives him a sense of connection and grounding that he lacks elsewhere in his life. I think that letting that first falcon fly off his arm must have been something of a revelation for him, and gave him a feeling of purpose and belonging that he had never felt anywhere else

Garrett

🃏 – what tarot card do I associate with them?

for Garrett I'm picking the page of wands. like all pages in the tarot, the page of wands is about new beginnings and opportunities. in the context of the suit of wands – which is all about creativity – the page of wands is an enthusiastic, adventurous card that is full of energy and inspiration for the future. as a nomad who is driven by his sense of curiosity and taste for adventure, I think Garrett totally resonates with the associations of the page of wands

🐣 – what was a foundational event in their young life?

I find it so interesting that SM gave Garrett like no backstory at all. in the books, he's a more significant character than Alistair, and yet Alistair gets a complex, pages-long backstory in the guide, and for Garrett she was just like "lmao he grew up during the revolution and was a hot-headed patriot" and that's it. we get a little bit more of his backstory in the short film "Turncoats," although I'm not sure where those films stand in terms of being canon material. all this to say, I don't have a ton of basis in canon to speculate on his young life, but I'm also not going to let that stop me! going off "Turncoats," I like the idea that he had a sister who herself was kind of a rebel, and who Garrett was quite close to. one of the many things that american colonists resented about the british during the lead up to the revolution was the practice of billeting soldiers in private homes (that's why there's a whole amendment about not doing this in the bill of rights lol), and so I imagine that Garrett's family was forced to house a couple of british soldiers leading up to the war. because of gendered expectations of labor, his sister ended up having to do a lot of extra work (like cleaning and cooking for the soldiers, washing their clothing, etc.), and the soldiers were pretty rude about it, and maybe one of them even made advances that his sister was not interested in. Garrett was pissed about this, and was overall furious about the way the soldiers exploited his family and his sister in particular. I even imagine he challenged the soldiers to a duel one time but they just laughed him off which only made him angrier. I see this as a very personal way that he experienced an overreach of power, and something that formed his perception of rules and authority as he matured into a young man

[simpfordemetri]

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Who/what sort of person could be Alistair's (healthy) lover? If you care about Alistair having a lover anyway.

I mean, I do have to admit, anon, I don't care. I mean, I don't don't care to the same degree that I don't care about Bucky or Stucky, but I still don't care.

But alright, let's do this.

Who the Hell is Alistair?!

Alistair is one of Carlisle's old friends, his oldest, in fact. Carlisle came across him in the English forests after having discovered the deer diet. Alistair was living in a cave terrified of the world.

Centuries later, Alistair is still living in a cave, terrified of the world. He's coaxed out of hiding to be witness in Carlisle's trial, but then runs away when he spots Bella making preparations so that her daughter might escape in case they're all murdered.

Carlisle suspects that post Breaking Dawn he's gone back to being a hermit.

As for why Eleazar is this way, like all Meyer's vampires, he had the shittiest backstory that deserves its own Russian novel. His father was conned by a vampire going by the name of Astaroth (but whose real name is George) who told him that he could make his son a god and put him on the throne of England in exchange for Alistair's mother and sisters. (Notably, Alistair did not wish to be king of England, but he didn't get a say in this.)

Well, the deal was made, Alistair was turned, he accidentally murdered his father upon awakening, returned home to find his home burned and family murdered (as promised), then went a little mad and ran off to the English woods where he's still a neurotic mess in great need of therapy.

Who Does Alistair Need for a Healthy Relationship?

This man is not a good position to be in a healthy relationship. Relationships go two ways, yes, you need someone who can support and help you, but you have to be in a position to support and help another person.

Alistair is debilitatingly wracked with paranoia and anxiety to the point where he can't leave his house.

This wouldn't be good for his partner in the relationship and, more, it is not their job to be his therapist (though he does need one). It's not your job in a relationship to 'fix' your partner.

What Alistair really needs, again, is therapy. He needs to learn how to manage his anxiety and how to realistically evaluate threats in the world.

... Now, that said, there are no vampire therapists. Carlisle is the world's only vampire doctor, and it seems he stays firmly out of the realm of your noggin.

So, ah, maybe he can get an amazing pep talk from someone. Though Carlisle tried for several years if not a decade and failed. And the one time he did leave his cave he really did very nearly die (that confrontation in Breaking Dawn was wild).

So, best of luck, Alistair!

[obireads]

The Hawk and the Hare

An introduction to the first chapter of The Hawk and the Hare, an Alistair x OC slow burn.

Early morning fog settles over the rocky fields of the North Yorkshire Moors, passing through low shrubs of heather, leaving dew droplets in its wake. Taking advantage of the low visibility, a brown hare hops tentatively from shrub to shrub, not quite willing to risk being so careless despite being hidden from predators. A velvet nose twitches, snuffling across the wet grass, as beady yellow eyes dart up every so often to keep watch for birds of prey that would tear him apart. Ripping fresh roots from the near frozen earth, he feasts before the mist has a chance to dissipate with the rising sun. He finds a spot with particularly lush grass and juicy weeds and begins to have his fill. With his front paws, he digs, claws breaking through the hard ground before snuffling through the wet dirt in search of his meal.

Sensitive feet pick up the rumbling before his ears do, and he manages to dart out of the way of danger with milliseconds to spare as a pale hand breaks through the earth where he once stood, the hare does what he knows best, and he bounds through long grass taking twists and turns to flee the new danger he wasn’t expecting.

The dirtied hand claws at the ground, pulling apart the soil with too much ease. Rocks tumble down the sloped hill as the danger unearths himself, peaty soil caked in his blonde tresses. Wild, black eyes squint to avoid the harsh dawn and he lifts a blackened hand to shield them from the orange light he hadn’t been exposed to in nearly two decades. He takes an unnecessary deep breath, the icy winter air hurts his nostrils initially, but as famished as he was, he could immediately detect human blood in a north-eastern direction, around twelve miles out. As he had done for eighteen years though, Alistair was content to ignore his burning thirst for a little while longer and instead took a moment to get used to the light he was cut off from for such a long time. The fire in his throat was a dull ache he often learned to live with, ashamed of what he was and willing to let himself suffer for it.

The Moors hadn’t changed all too much over the centuries he had been wandering the earth, which was the very reason he chose to bury himself twenty feet beneath them , so that he could wallow relatively undisturbed for as long as he could manage in the comforting embrace of mother earth. His thirst he could deal with, as a being as old as himself had mastered patience and suffering. Despite his gaunt cheeks and the no doubt purple bags under his obsidian eyes, the burning in his throat was not at the top of his list of grievances.

Alistair’s pesky little talent had been irritating him for a short while now, give or take twenty years, leading him astray from what he had been looking for before he elected to bury himself and ignore it—as he usually does with things he does not take joy from. It pulled his insides apart the further he fled from it, and it wrung his guts in its fists the more he dwelled on it. It begged for him to follow it, as it always did, but with this it was difficult to ignore and that scared him. He did not know what—or who—waited for him at the end of this twisting knife in his belly, but whatever it was it was new. New was bad. Unknown. Foreign. Dangerous.

For the first few years with the worms, the pull was easy to ignore. He could preoccupy his mind with silly nothings in a language long forgotten. When it got even worse, he elected to simply think of absolutely nothing, laying frozen in time in an almost sleep—not quite aware of anything and yet attune to everything around him. Even when his thirst was at the back of his mind, the pull persisted. It would rear its ugly head at the worst moments.

Finally, enough was enough. He did not know what awaited him, but he was deathly sick of feeling torn in two like this. Whatever it was, he would find it and destroy it.

----

As always, taking headcanon requests and feedback.

[anxiousnerdwritings]

🧛🏻‍♂️Twilight Saga Masterlist🧛🏻‍♂️

Headcanons

Bella Swan/Edward Cullen/Jacob Black [What They Look For In A Partner] (non-yandere)

Yandere Poly!Alice/Jasper Cullen (romantic) [coming soon]

Yandere Alistair (general) [coming soon]

Yandere Alistair (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Carlisle Cullen (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Poly!Carlisle/Esme Cullen (romantic) [coming soon]

Yandere Cullen Family (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Dimitri Volturi (romantic) [coming soon]

Yandere Edward Cullen (romantic)

Yandere Emmett Cullen (friendly-platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Esme Cullen (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Felix Volturi (general)

Yandere Jane and Alec (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Leah Clearwater (general) [coming soon]

Yandere Seth Clearwater (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Sam Black (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Wolfpack (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Victoria (general) [coming soon]

Yandere Volturi (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Volturi Kings (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Poly!Volturi Kings (platonic) [coming soon]

Imagines/blurbs/ect.

Once Lost, Now Found [Yandere Athenadora/Sulpicia] (platonic)

����Love Letters💕

Yandere Alice Cullen (romantic)

Yandere Esme Cullen (platonic) [coming soon]

Yandere Jane and Alec Volturi (pltonic)

Yandere Volturi Queens (platonic)

Prompts

Yandere Edward Cullen #22 (romantic)

[jessicanjpa]

hello! i'm not sure if anyone's asked this yet but i recently got into twilight again and i'm really peeved by the way demetri is kind of 'undermined' in a way? and the way jasper is kinda overglorified too. like i get edward reads minds but demetri's probably had EXTENSIVE training, especially being besties with felix; they're like hitmen ffs (1/4)

and what are your thoughts on dem as a tracker? do you headcannon him as the GOAT of trackers or there could be another? and what about felix? is he like the GOAT of all the physically superior or is there something about him, maybe like an unconscious allure about him? (3/4)

also, I LOVE SECOND MEETING!! it's one of the most beautiful pieces of writing i have ever read and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING ABOUT DEMETRI, there is a severe lack of it and it's an insult to not have more written about him. out of curiosity (and fear tbh) will he die in the end? because if he does i want to be prepared for it xD (4/4)

Thank you so much for loving my Demetri! I feel like my headcanons for him are pretty different from most people's, so it's always nice when someone enjoys it.

I do think Demetri is the greatest tracker to ever live, at least in the last few thousand years for the Volturi to know about. James is really the only comparison that comes close in the saga (who knows what's going on with Alistair's gift). James's gift seems to be a combination of instinct and intelligence along with a great sense of smell... Demetri doesn't really need any of those things! Or at least, he's surpassed the need for them. His supernatural instinct as a human has sharpened into this psychic, almost telepathic ability to find literally anyone, anywhere, and his ability to track someone via the mind of a mere acquaintance is just mind-blowing. If he's ever met you, or even met someone who knows you, he will find you if he wants to. I don't know whether he operates more like a G.P.S. or a magnet (I assume both in tandem), but I imagine that from his perspective there's this whole world full of the minds he's catalogued and he can hone in on any one of them at any time. (So imagine how disturbed he was to run up against Bella's gift, especially when she spread her shield in BD and made all those other minds disappear!)

Demetri and Felix do make a great hit team, what with Demetri's ability to find literally anyone and Felix's skill in combat. They've probably trained to fight in tandem with each other. And their apparent friendship is actually pretty special, since in Volterra there's such a class distinction between gifted and ungifted. I don't primarily think of Demetri as a fighter (no details about that in canon, I don't think, and his gift wouldn't help) but like you said, he's been at this for a thousand years now. He's probably had every sort of training available to the Volturi, since his gift is an asset worth protecting at almost any cost.

Like Maria, the Illustrated Guide says Felix does not have a "quantifiable supernatural ability," so I guess that does leave a little wiggle room. (Maria seems to have a vague sort of Eleazar-type gift, after all, or at least very good instincts about a person's potential.) Felix's tenure is an interesting exception to the ungifted=temporary rule. Without or without an extra ability, I think he's charmed/fought his way to the top and has shown a strong ability to manage the other ungifted guards, so he's worth keeping too.

And having a gift isn't everything! Like you said, we tend to think of Jasper as being sooooo deadly in a fight, but in reality most of his combat experience is from fighting baby vampires, and his gift wouldn't even be all that useful in a complicated battle where his allies and enemies are all tangled up and moving every millisecond. He's deadly and experienced compared to the other Cullens and newbie werewolves. (I do think he's a formidable opponent when it's one on one, though, since he's probably able to use his gift more in that scenario.)

I'm not sure if you've reached the end of Second Meeting and if this is a spoiler--Demetri is still alive at the end of the fic, but he's... very broken. His loyalty has been patched up but it's so frayed and unpredictable. Aro and Caius were already wondering if it might be time to go tracker-shopping, and after his display in the final chapter, his life is definitely on the line. BUT you never know what could happen down the road... I would love for him to break free someday and make a life for himself. It'll take Aro and Caius a while (centuries?) to find anyone worthy of replacing him, so at least he's got time. (Chelsea would have to be neutralized somehow, so it's unlikely but... you never know what might happen.)

[rainbow-shine]

i'll never wear your broken crown, but in this twilight our choices seal our fate

An alternative s4 in where Dean has powers and that changes everything and nothing. Dedicated to @wormstacheangel and inspired by this headcanon.

It started with little things.

So little that Sam wouldn't have noticed them had it not been for the fact that he couldn't help but look at his brother like a hawk lately, partly to comfort himself that he had Dean back and partly to make sure his brother wouldn't find out about his extracurricular activities.

Dean doesn’t gets hurt anymore.

Sam felt his heart stop inside his chest when he entered the kitchen at Bobby's house and found Victor's ghost with his hand embedded in Dean's chest. With a swift movement Sam fired, the ghost disappeared and Dean fell to the ground.

Completely unharmed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked either way. Dean gave him an unimpressed look before saying no.

The thing was, Sam had seen Olivia's corpse, had seen the corpses of the rest of the hunters. Right now Dean should be bleeding to death on the floor, his heart ripped from his chest, but instead he was just catching his breath like he'd just taken a good hit.

Sam, at that time, thought it was a fluke.

But it kept happening.

They had a dangerous job and the threat of the apocalypse only made the monsters worse, but Dean was always unharmed. Not a single mark stained his body and the times something or someone managed to hurt him, those wounds always disappeared in less than a day.

"You test him, right?" Sam whispered to Bobby, as soon as Dean went to buy something for dinner and Sam stayed with the excuse of researching something on a new book.

"Who?"

"Dean," Sam clarified. “After he was resurrected”.

"Of course I test him, Sam," Bobby hissed. “Do you think I'm stupid?”

"No, it's just…" Sam stopped speaking, realizing that his arguments at the moment would sound more like conspiracies. The fact that Dean was apparently untouchable wasn't exactly a bad thing.

"What?" Bobby asked sharply.

"Nothing," Sam replied, quickly coming up with an excuse. “It's just that I feel like there's something different about him”.

"Sam, your brother just came back from hell. Literal hell,” Bobby exclaimed slightly condescending. “His mind is trying to process a trauma that, as far as I know, no one has ever experienced. You can't expect him to be the same as before, because he won't be”.

"I know, Bobby."

"Then stop complaining".

So Sam stopped. After all, Dean was still Dean and the fact that nothing could hurt him was just one more reason for Sam to do everything he could so that nothing that could reach him.

•●•

The first time Dean went to sleep after being rescued from hell, in the uncomfortable but familiar couch in Bobby's house, he dreamed of a light.

A light so bright that he felt it might be able to melt his eyes out of his sockets, but at the same time it was warming a part of him that always seemed to be cold.

A light that was comforting and gentle. A light that meant love and salvation.

That night, in an abandoned barn in Illinois, Dean knew that he hadn't been dreaming at all.

•●•

When he was a kid and dad decided to start taking Dean on hunts, Sam used to kneel by his bedside and pray that god would keep his brother safe.

After Jess appeared nailed to the ceiling and their apartment was consumed by flames, Sam began to pray for forgiveness.

The day Dean was dragged to hell Sam stopped praying, because he knew that no one was listening to him.

But then Dean was saved. Dean was saved by an angel and Sam felt his faith restored. How he couldn’t have faith when an angel had achieved what he had been trying to do for months?

But apparently Sam Winchester couldn't have good things, because again his faith was destroyed and the angels, as Dean had said, were nothing more than dicks with wings.

The boy with the demon blood.

The curse Azazel left on him and the only chance they had to truly stop Lilith.

There was fear in Dean's eyes.

And that hurt so much more than anything the angels could have told him.

His powers were a curse, but he had stopped Samhain thanks to them. They may not have saved the seal, but an entire city was beginning their day with nothing to worry about thanks to them.

Sam was doing the right thing. He truly was.

It didn't matter that no one seemed to agree with him.

•●•

"Let me guess, you're here for the ‘I told you so’" Dean said, turning on the bench to look at the angel sitting next to him.

“No”.

“Well, good, cause I’m really not that interested”.

"I am not here to judge you, Dean." The angel's voice was surprisingly gentle and Dean tried to ignore the way the light from his halo suddenly looked alluring. Dean hadn't told anyone, not even Sam, what he could see.

Because Dean still wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't gone crazy.

Big black wings curved slightly around both of them as they chatted and Dean, for a moment, stopped seeing Castiel, the righteous angel of the lord and only saw Cas, someone who looked as lost as Dean felt.

"I don't envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean," Cas whispered. “I truly don’t”.

Then Cas leaned into him and Dean felt his mind short circuit for a second, because the angel clearly seemed to want a kiss. But no, Cas stopped an inch from touching his lips, simply watching him simultaneously with the blue eyes of his vessel and with the hundreds of curious eyes of his true form.

“What…?” Dean's question was interrupted by something coming from Cas' lips and colliding with his. Dean instinctively parted his lips and allowed Cas to give him whatever he wanted.

It wasn't liquid, but it wasn't a gas either. It was tasteless and Dean didn't feel it pass down his throat or vanish in his mouth. His heart raced and he felt… safe. Blessed.

As soon as it started it was over and by the time Dean managed to control his heartbeat, Cas had vanished and no one seemed to have witnessed what had happened.

•●•

Ruby didn't like Dean.

For many reasons, some more obvious or justifiable than others. But for the sake of the role Sam had to play, Ruby forced herself to cooperate with the older of the Winchesters.

But this was too much.

The mere presence of Dean made her feel like there were cockroaches crawling all over her body. His soul had taken on a new glow and Ruby didn't want to know what kind of things Dean was doing with his angel to have that kind of purity.

"I think there's something wrong with Dean," Sam confessed and Ruby could feel the fear making his voice shake or maybe the shaking came from the blood that was still running down her arm.

"What are you talking about?" Ruby asked sweetly, almost genuinely concerned. If it were up to her Dean would still be rotting in hell, but Sam was on his way of doing a miracle and Ruby felt that someone like that deserved all the happiness and satisfaction in the world. Even if it meant having to put up with Dean Winchester.

"He looks different," Sam said. "I think the angels are doing something to him. My brother would never have..."

"What?" Ruby prompted. "Would never have risked his life for an angel?"

"Well, no".

Ruby had a sudden epiphany that they weren't talking about Ana.

"Maybe the angels are… purifying him," Ruby suggested. "I mean, you know what he did when he was in hell".

The idea of ​​Dean, brave and kind Dean, torturing souls in hell and enjoying it was too funny to be true.

"It's something more than that".

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know!"

Ruby thought that they had already wasted a lot of time talking about Dean, so she decided to silence Sam with a deep and dirty kiss, climbing onto his lap and thinking that heaven could purify Dean as much as they wanted, because she would see to it that Sam was more powerful than they could ever imagine.

•●•

The angels had taken his brother and Sam swore he was going to kill them as soon as he found them.

Wasn't it enough that they were manipulating and corrupting him, they also had to make him relive what happened in hell?

Dean had protected him from many things. Dean, his older brother, had taken it upon himself to give him a childhood that he never allowed himself to have. Dean had been in the front row of his school play. Dean had made him tomato rice soup whenever he got sick. Dean had put a wad of money and a cell phone in his bag when he had left for Stanford.

Dean had sold his soul to save him.

So now it was Sam's turn to save his older brother.

•●•

"For what it's worth," Cas murmured against his lips. Dean was shuddering with what could be fear or perhaps anticipation. "I would give anything not to have you do this".

•●•

Sam had killed Alistair and Dean was furious.

Hundreds of emotions were piling up in his mind and he wasn't able to understand how his brother could be so stupid to not see that his powers were changing him for the worse. Dean could feel that something was wrong with Sam and his little brother didn't seem to mind.

"I did it to save you!" Sam insisted, throwing his hands up as if Dean was going to lunge at him despite still being slightly dizzy from the hospital drugs. "I only used my powers to protect you when the angels couldn't!"

"Cas did the best he could."

"Really?" There was a note of hysteria in Sam's voice. "Are you going to defend him?"

"Sam..."

"He forced you to torture Alistair despite knowing what you did in hell!"

"He had no other choice!"

"He's using you!"

"But at least he has never lied to me!"

The lightbulb in the room exploded.

Both brothers froze and Dean could see that Sam was breathing heavily and refusing to meet his eyes.

"Sammy?"

"I'm going to get some air," was all Sam said before he practically ran out of the room.

Leaving Dean wondering if things between them would one day stop being so broken.

•●•

Dean's eyes glowed blue.

Angelic blue.

Sam had to save his brother before it was too late.

•●•

The first time Dean healed him, Sam felt like something inside him was burning.

It had been a hunt like any other. No seals threatening to break, no angels or demons. Just the two of them against an angry ghost, just like old times.

Except the ghost was really angry and by the time Dean managed to burn their bones, Sam had been thrown into several graves and several trees and he was sure the back of his head was bleeding.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, running up to him and gently laying him on the ground, with his head in his lap, examining the severity of the injury. Sam felt like a little kid again, feeling safe next to his big brother.

For a moment, there was no apocalypse or arguments. Just the warmth of his brother's body and gentle fingers running through his hair.

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam managed to say. "You know how much head injuries bleed. It's less serious than it seems".

"I know, Sammy".

And then Sam felt the soft strokes on his hair turn into flames and a gasp escaped from his throat. The pain lasted only a second and by the time Sam regained awareness of his surroundings, none of his injuries were still hurting.

"What did you do to me?" Sam hissed, pulling away from Dean and standing up quickly and nearly falling back to the ground from the wave of nausea that washed over him.

"I… I don't know." Dean looked as terrified as Sam felt. "I just wanted to make you feel better".

Dean wasn't normal anymore. Whatever the angels had done or were doing to him was changing his brother.

And Sam no longer knew if he could save him.

•●•

"What's happening to me, Cas?" Dean asked. Trying to convince himself that his little brother was safe and that even though Lilith had escaped, she at least hadn't made any deals with Sam.

"You're changing," was Cas' soft reply. "A metamorphosis, a revelation".

"Am I not human anymore?" Dean asked with his voice showing the terror he really felt.

"You're always going to be human, Dean," Cas reassured him. "Every saint, every messiah, was as human as you".

"I don't deserve this, Cas," Dean gasped, closing his eyes to avoid seeing Castiel, his wings and halo, his eyes and his light. He wasn’t worthy of witnessing the greatness of an angel, not this angel at least.

"Do you still think you don't deserve to be saved?" Cas whispered and Dean trembled slightly as he felt a warm hand gently touch his chin, forcing him to look up and open his eyes. Cas was looking at him so adoringly that Dean felt like he was going to combust in any minute. "Do you think you don't deserve to be loved?"

This is love? Dean almost asked, but instead he connected his lips to those of the angel in front of him and tried to ignore the way in which, for the first time since he had been dragged to hell, he felt pure.

•●•

Castiel couldn't keep doing this.

Heaven had lied to them. Castiel had delusionally believed that he was keeping Dean safe, that he was rendering him immune to demons, healing his wounds and protecting him from all danger.

When in reality Castiel had only been poisoning him.

Shame mingled with guilt within his grace. His wings were flapping as fast as they could, pulling him towards Dean. Trying to warn him about what heaven was planning. Trying to save him from the hell Castiel had condemned him to.

The angels found him first.

Castiel felt how his wings were imprisoned and how his entire being seemed to be consumed by the most absolute pain.

"Take him to Naomi," ordered one of his superiors. "Fix him as soon as possible".

The last thing Castiel felt was the bond he had begun to form with Dean being brutally ripped apart.

•●•

No demon could touch him and surprisingly that wasn't the strangest revelation Dean had that day.

No, the fact that the demon that tried to touch him in Jimmy Novak's house let out a scream of pain as he held onto his burned hand paled in comparison to everything else:

Seeing Sam, his baby brother, throw himself on a demon to drink her blood, broke his heart in a way that Dean couldn't even begin explain.

After that, seeing how Cas looked like his wings had been passed through a shredder while his true form's eyes seemed dull and unfocused only served to make his wounded heart surrender completely.

Dean was practically invincible, but right now, with the broken pieces of his heart trying to stick together, he felt more fragile than any glass.

•●•

Bobby wasn't having a good day.

No, that wasn't good enough, Bobby wasn't having a good life.

But this day was particularly bad.

No matter how much he wanted to ignore them, Bobby could still hear Sam's delirious screams. And to think that the boy who had entered his house years ago, hiding behind his older brother and observing everything with big eyes full of curiosity, was now going through a detoxification process for having consumed demon blood, was something that Bobby could hardly tolerate.

The fact that Dean was a mess didn't help much either.

Dean appeared to be a shadow, drowning in alcohol and carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bobby wondered if there was something wrong with him too, for on more than one occasion the lights around him seemed to flicker and his eyes seemed to emit a strange light.

What had these two idjits gotten themselves into now?

•●•

Dean didn't know what else to do anymore.

"She's poison, Sam," Dean said, praying his brother saw reason. Sam just gave him a wry smile.

"What about Castiel?" Sam hissed and Dean instinctively took a step back. "Is he poison too, Dean?"

They had both lied to each other and here were the consequences.

"Cas is an angel," Dean replied. "He's just protecting me".

"What makes you different from me?" Sam asked. "Tell me, why are you allowed to be a freak and I'm not?"

"Sam that's not how things are..."

"Of course they are!" Sam yelled. "All my life I have been the freak of our family, I never fit in with you and dad, and I was ready to accept that I'm different from you, but it turns out that you are the same freak as me!"

"It's different and you know it, Sam," Dean tried to argue. "Cas never made me drink his blood, he never made me promises too good to be true, and he never made me addicted to anything".

"Why?" Sam asked, sounding exactly like the scared little kid who had believed that the monster under his bed was real. Dean felt his heart ache. "Why if we are both freaks I have to be the monster?"

"It's not too late, Sam," Dean pleaded. "We can still stop this. No angels and no demons, just you and me. Like before".

"I… I can't do that, Dean," Sam denied.

"Of course you can," Dean insisted, moving slowly toward Sam. "Say goodbye to Ruby, return with me to Bobby's house and we will find a way to end it all. I just want you to be okay, Sammy".

Sam's skin began to burn the moment Dean placed his hand on his arm.

No.

"Sammy?" Dean didn't recognize his own voice, he felt like his body had ceased to be his. A witness of his worst nightmares. A tear ran down his cheek. "Sammy, please".

The blow hurt less than the implications of what just happened.

•●•

It wasn't fair.

None of this was fair.

The place where Dean's hand had touched it still hurt. A reminder of what he had sacrificed for the greater good. A mockery of what he had lost by trying to be a hero.

But he couldn't stop, not now that he was so close to ending it all. Not when it was only a matter of hours before Lilith tried to break the final seal.

Ruby's presence was a comfort with the same intensity as a punishment, because Dean hadn't trusted him the way she did, but still Sam wanted the presence of his older brother.

That part of him that had believed for years that his older brother was a superhero right now wanted to run up to his brother and beg for forgiveness.

But Sam was no longer a child and his brother had made a decision.

It was time for Sam to made his, too.

•●•

The angels had kidnapped him. There was no other way to describe what they had done to him, but Dean had made a promise and he planned to keep it. So he stayed there and listened to what the angels told him.

But the moment Zacharias leaned toward him, his movements clinical and expressionless in a way Cas' had never been, Dean couldn't resist the urge to seal his lips, lower his gaze, and take several steps back.

"Dean," Zacharias sighed, as if Dean was a little kid who didn't want to eat his vegetables.

"No," Dean refused and before he could regret it he added. "I want Castiel to do it".

The expression on Cas' face was heartbroken.

"Very well," Zacharias agreed, before ordering Cas to come over to him.

With Cas' lips so close to his and with the warmth of what he now knew was grace enveloping his body, Dean wondered if Sam had been right and Cas had been poisoning him too.

Perhaps both of them had poisoned each other.

"You're almost ready," Zacharias marveled when Cas broke away from him. "Everything will go according to plan".

Dean wasn't so sure about that anymore.

•●•

"Sam," Ruby said, her dark eyes showing a panic Sam never remembered seeing. "Time is running out, are you going to do it or not?"

With Dean's voice telling him that he was a monster echoing in his head, Sam knew he really had no other choice.

•●•

"You know what's real?" Dean asked and didn't wait for an answer before grabbing the lapels of Cas' trenchcoat and slamming his lips against his.

Cas seemed to freeze for a moment before reciprocating the kiss with intensity. His black wings curved around both of them and Dean felt the heat of his halo brushing against his hair. Invisible hands caressed his skin and hundreds of eyes watched him adoringly.

"This is real," Dean gasped as they parted. "This, us, people, families— that's real. You're gonna watch them all burn, Cas?"

"What would you have me do, Dean?" Cas whispered. His wings trembling slightly.

"Get me to Sam," Dean said. "We can stop this before it's too late".

"I do that, we will all be hunted," Cas replied. "We'll all be killed".

"If there is anything worth dying for... this is it" was all Dean could say.

Dean barely had time to react before he was being pushed into one of the walls and kissed desperately. Dean raised his hands to tangle them in Cas' hair and parted his lips the moment he felt Cas' tongue touch his lower lip.

His body accepted Cas' grace with ease.

"We have to find Sam, we have to stop him from killing Lilith," Cas told him when they parted.

"Why?" Dean asked, feeling a little dizzy. "Lilith is going to break the final seal".

"Lilith is the final seal," Cas said. "She dies; the end begins".

•●•

Sam had never felt a power like this.

It was all about to end and he could finally have the life he deserved. His nightmare would end and everything Azazel had planned would be in vain. Sam would use the powers that hell had given him for good. He would use the demon blood that ran through his veins to prevent the apocalypse.

And maybe, when things finally ended, Sam could apologize to Dean and all of this would be nothing more than a bad memory.

Lilith was smiling and Sam was eager to erase that smile once and for all.

Finally, everything was about to end.

•●•

Castiel was committing treason.

He didn't even think twice before vanishing Zacharias and carrying Dean as quickly as his wings allowed him to the house of the prophet of the lord. It was the only chance they had to find Sam and stop the apocalypse before it started.

"You guys aren't supposed to be there," said the prophet, frowning. "You're not in this story".

"Yeah, well..." Castiel said. "We're making it up as we go".

Castiel then took a moment to look at Dean, his soul shining as bright as the sun and cradling his grace as if he never wanted to be without it. Castiel felt a wave of affection for the human he had rescued from hell, for the man who had kissed his lips like a lover.

He sensed the archangel's presence long before he appeared and Castiel knew that they had run out of time.

Regardless of whether the prophet was watching them, Castiel pulled Dean to share a heavy kiss. A kiss of regret for lost time. A goodbye kiss.

"I'll hold him off!" Castiel gasped against Dean's lips, allowing most of his grace to flow to him. If Castiel couldn't protect him, at least he would make sure his grace did. "I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!"

Dean connected their lips one last time.

"Good luck".

In the end, Dean had been right. This was something worth dying for.

•●•

He had been too late.

•●•

"I was the best of all those sons of bitches!" Ruby yelled, a maniacal smile curving her lips. "The most loyal!"

Sam had stopped listening to her, just staring in horror at what he had done.

This is not how things are supposed to be. This shouldn't have been the end of this. He had made a stupid mistake, he had been arrogant and he had been naive. Sam had only wanted to protect the world; he had only wanted to take some of the burden off his brother's shoulders.

Sam, for once in his life, had just wanted to do something right.

"You're too late," Ruby scoffed and Sam felt like he might start crying when he saw his big brother.

"I don't care," Dean hissed and Sam could only watch paralyzed as Dean placed his hand on Ruby's forehead and she started screaming, her eyes on fire and the demonic essence of her fading.

"I'm sorry," Sam sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Dean".

Dean couldn't even look him in the eye.

"We have to get out of here," was all Dean said. "Let's go, Sam".

"Dean," Sam gasped. "He's coming".

Dean ignored him, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the exit.

For the first time in months, Dean's touch was no longer uncomfortable.

•●•

The apocalypse had begun.