#twelvey (mine)

[heartsfortwotpot]

don’t have any fanart y’all can just have oc stuff ig. say hi to twelveys Again.

[anelementofsurprise]

🔮🌙🌠✨

[ampersands-and-guitars]

The Doctor After “Your Doctor.”

I never knew what it meant to move on from “my Doctor.” I thought I did, for a fleeting moment, after saying goodbye to Eleven and saying hello to Twelve, with his wide eyes, cross eyebrows, and grumpy disposition. I thought he would be “the next one.” The one after Eleven, my first Doctor, who I just assumed was my Doctor, because even if he didn’t click with me in every way, I didn’t think I could connect with another Doctor more.

But Twelve never gave me the opportunity to learn what the experience of meeting “the next one” would be. Very quickly, I realized he was just the one. The definitive Doctor, my definitive Doctor. The one who made me laugh and cry and feel and think and understand the core of this character more than I ever thought possible. The one who loved my favorite companion. My Doctor, period.

Three seasons passed, and I still wondered what it would be like when I did actually meet “the next one.” Would I resent them for not being like Twelve, as so many people say they feel after losing their favorite Doctor? Would I miss him too much to accept someone new? Am I just disloyal and would decide that Thirteen is actually my favorite Doctor? I had no idea what to expect. I was supposed to “move on” from my Doctor when I met Twelve and well, that didn’t exactly go as planned.

But the moment I met Thirteen, I immediately understood the feeling of moving on. I recognized her as, indeed, “the next one.” The entire time I spent with her, I could feel one of my hearts reaching back to my Doctor, missing him as I suspect I always will. But my other heart was fully embracing Thirteen, because she is, of course, a product of my Twelvey. She is running fast, laughing hard, and being kind. She was borne from Clara’s eyes and anger and never-giving-up and kindness. She was borne from River’s cleverness and unending determination. She was borne from Missy’s intelligence and growth, from Bill’s open-heartedness and honesty. She is all the things Twelve hoped he would become, and all of the women who inspired him to be so. How could I not love the Doctor after my Doctor? She is beautiful and magnificent and I do already love her — but I can also recognize, this time around, that she’s not “mine.”

If this is what the experience of meeting “the next one” feels like, I can’t wait for the adventures Thirteen has in store for me. I am so terribly happy to have finally met her.

[heartsfortwotpot]

yeehaw

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