#tw::nsfw-ish

[twistedprodigious]

"Be careful, my dear, you're creasing my trousers with your pathetic grasp"

[bisexual-cryptid]

steve: that was so hot.

eddie: i literally just called the person who flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them i hope they get dragged through the streets.

steve, getting on his knees: i’m so in love with you

eddie: oH?!

[weirdplutoprince]

backseat gaming

[connor-sent-by-cyberlife]

Next and final chapter of "Stupid Sexy Priest" by @connorsjorts is out! It was such a pleasure to be part of this fic. I love it more than words could tell! Go read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50047492/chapters/129203848

(click for better quality)

³ᴰ ᵐᵒᵈᵉˡ ᵖᵒʳᵗˢ ᵇʸ ᴹᵉᵗᵒʳⁱᵃ ᵒⁿ ᵀʷⁱᵗᵗᵉʳ

[dick-meister]

Sticks his tongue out at Adam from where he’s getting hugs and cuddles from Bee.

“Hey! Ask her if you can see your cock in her tummy! She loves being asked that!”

He’s being mean. Jealousy does that to a person.

[ladykissingfish]

Deidara: *sits up in bed when his alarm goes off at midnight*

Deidara: It's heeeeeere, hm!

Sasori: *sighs* Oh, no.

Deidara: Oh YES. It's my birthday! Do you know what that means??

Sasori, grudgingly: I do whatever you want.

Deidara: That's right! *leans over and starts kissing Sasori* Can you guess what I want you to do first?

Sasori: A blind person could see what you want, you horny brat. But what about after?

Deidara: *taking off his clothes* I'll let you know in about 4 hours, hm.

Sasori:

Sasori: ...four hours? Really?

Deidara: Mm. *crawls into Sasori's lap* Don't sit here and act like you and your puppet body can't go that long, Danna.

Sasori: Well, yes, but --

Hidan, through the wall: Shit, I should have borrowed puppet-dick for *my* birthday! The old bastard couldn't even last 20 minutes!

Kakuzu, angrily: I told you I had a stomach ache from all that damned cake you made me eat! And you better not go to Sasori; I'm not spending all night picking splinters out of your ass!

Sasori:

[kyuhu]

Hot take: Liet should poison more people

I think he'll start off as the "I'm not gonna use poison ever I have morals I'll do a fair fight and that's it" type of guy which quickly changes because he doesn't want Feliks to whine ages about a stab scar on top of his "why did you kill me?!" screaming he already has to deal with. Also he has the best knowledge about herbs and plants, I think even nowadays Liet could go through a random forest and make a quick poison in his kitchen out of the ingredients he picked up on his walk.

So yeah, Liet probably poisoned as much people as he ended up in bed with, which is a lot haha.

[connor-sent-by-cyberlife]

The Man Next Door - Part 3

Hank shouldn't be watching. What he sees is clearly not meant for his eyes. The young man in the window from the apartment next door is undressing himself casually, obviously not aware that he is attracting some old pervert's interest. Hank has encountered him a few times in the hallway before, but has never spent much attention on him. This here is different. He can't stop looking. There is something so fascinating about his neighbor's youth and slender shape slowly appearing the more clothes come off. It's goddamn alluring how the boxers are pulled down to show a perfect little peach ass. Hank is pretty sure time has slowed down. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest. When the man bends over to get rid of the piece of clothing, Hank's breathing speeds up. There is no sound left except the blood rushing in his ears. Something about being the secret beholder of this whole scenario is a huge turn-on. A kink Hank didn't know he had. Delicate hands reach for the blue t-shirt to take it off and Hank's eyes follows their movement, admiring the tempting curve of the back that comes in sight. His lips are dry and without even noticing he licks over them. He wants to watch. He wants to touch. He wants to feel how the soft skin would feel under his calloused fingers. Hank gets lost in fantasies. And suddenly the magic is over. The lights in the apartment he has been staring into like a fucking creep are being turned off. Hank is alone in the dark again, well, not quite... There is a huge boner in his sweatpants demanding his attention.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

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³ᵈ ᵐᵒᵈᵉˡ ᵖᵒʳᵗ ᵇʸ ᵐᵉᵗᵒʳᶤᵃ ᵒᶰ ᵗʷᶤᵗᵗᵉʳ

[jeonginkang]

Location: Lee's apartment. Brooklyn, Syndicate Time: Night Who: @leemalkovich

The door had opened, and with his leash in head, he walked in with Tokki; kicking the door behind him, before grabbing Lee's face to kissed him. "Ridiculously romantic..." He said into the kiss. "Such perfection you've left me." He continued, still not interrupting their kiss.

Now arriving to this moment needed some explanation. Two days ago, he'd been called to clean a scene; nothing new. Nothing new until he had seen it. Jeong-in had gasped; mesmerized by the beauty of it. The veil of his insanity to see wonders in the horrors of a crime scene slipping in front of his eyes. And there it was, a beating heart the size of a human holding their knees to their chest. How could he not marvel in such masterpiece.

And there; The Inimitable William Penhaligon lingering in the air. He had asked for a rose garden and there, he had been given a heart. The intricacy of this origami with human flesh was beyond compared. He stared in wonder for hours; knowing that he had limited time, but delaying the inevitable as long as he could. Ephemeral beauty; the first time he would be saddened by it. A photo would have been superb, but it could not exist beyond the space of his mind and Lee's.

Eventually, he had a job to do. First, he unfolded the body carefully gathering all petals until his eyes had scene the card, and he had laughed. The foolish giggles of a teenager after his crush had smiled at him. By the time his trusted team of two had arrived, he'd cleaned enough that the wonder Lee had created was gone. As always, he'd done the last review, taking extra care with creating something new, and old; a place where the common folk would wish to live.

And when Lee had messaged him, he'd fainted ignorance, because things like that couldn't be spoken about on text message. That would've been disrespectful.

So here he was, kissing the beast in its own lair for the first time. When Lee visited him again, he too would have a surprise. awaiting him.

[hazyaltcare]

A memeboard for a Gerard Way factive.

Mod Haze (❤️Alice❤️)

[connor-sent-by-cyberlife]

The Man Next Door - Part 4

Jesus fucking Christ! He hasn't been this hard since... He doesn't even remember. Sure, there is the occascional morning wood and a half-hearted wanking in the shower every now and then, but it has been ages since real horniness has come for a visit. Hank makes a scornful noise, kind of disgusted by himself. Didn't really need much, eh? Just a glimpse at his young neighbor's ass and his dick was like count-me-the-fuck-in. Great. He should just go to bed and sleep. Drink more alcohol if that is what it needs to check out for at least a few hours. But the boner in his sweatpants has a different opinion. The desire to just wrap his hand around it is huge and resisting is almost impossible. But no fucking way is he giving in to that demanding urge. He might be pathetic, but he is not a complete pervert. He won't jerk off to a memory of the man next door undressing. Hank could probably be his dad age-wise.

In a gesture of despair, his left hand comes to rest on his forehead. Yeah, his life isn't fucked up enough already, he really needed tonight's "late night show" to run on repeat in his mind. He knows he won't forget what he saw. Not today, not tomorrow. He wishes he could just delete his memory the way he empties the recycle bin on his computer.

He feels his cock jerking in his pants. Goddammit! His right fist hits the table and the glass bottle moves dangerously close to the edge, but doesn't fall in the end. Alright! A cold shower before bed it is, he decides. Because he doesn't know how to help himself otherwise.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

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³ᵈ ᵐᵒᵈᵉˡ ᵖᵒʳᵗ ᵇʸ ᵐᵉᵗᵒʳᶤᵃ ᵒᶰ ᵗʷᶤᵗᵗᵉʳ