#tw: fucking stupidity and recklessness and impulsivity

[kate-bishops-girlfriend]

hand sanitizer

i had a spanish test the next period which i hadn't revised for and was totally shitting myself, and knew my teacher wouldn't accept me faking an illness, because she would see right through the bullshit.

and my undiagnosed unmedicated adhd self thought the best way to get out of said test (cos this was at high school, i couldn't just leave during the school day without a note from a member of staff in the medical room or from a parent) would be to actually be ill.

i thought that drinking a small amount of hand sanitizer would make me an innocent amount of ill - bad enough that i'd look a bit rough and could go home by playing the pity card, but mild enough that i wouldn't actually feel sick when i got home. i also thought that the effects of drinking it would be virtually instantaneous.

i was so wrong.

i swallowed it, and sat there for a few seconds. nothing happened. the inside of my mouth felt like shit because it tasted horrible, obviously, and my lips and tongue hurt, but it didn't have the instant effect i stupidly assumed it would.

so i sat there perfectly alright in maths (the lesson before spanish), and the lesson was soon over. i still felt fine, and was starting to panic, as i now had to go into the spanish classroom for the test. little did i know, the hand sanitizer was slowly starting to get to work in my body

realising my plan had been a failure and i was going to have to do this test anyway, i sat down at my desk and the rest began.

about 20 minutes in, i started to feel a bit weird. my stomach felt weirdly light, and the page in front of me looked like it was moving a bit. but it was still pretty mild, so i ignored it and kept working.

by about ten minutes before the end of the test, i was starting to feel really off. like my stomach felt even worse - that same bizarre lightness, but also like there was something moving inside it, and it started hurting a bit in a strange way. i started to get a really bad headache, and the edges of my vision went a very weird shade of pink. as in things in my peripheral vision were tinted pink.

in my idiocy to try and get out of the test by drinking hand sanitizer, i didn't realise the worst part.

which was that because i hadn't been sent home before or during my spanish test, my next lesson on my timetable was double p.e., which i had to go to.

once i was in my p.e. kit, we were in the gym choosing what sport to do that day when i suddenly had to lie down on the floor because the room looked like it was moving around. my head was absolutely pounding by this point, and my ears were ringing so loudly (i have tinnitus anyway but this was insane levels) that i couldn't even think. i couldn't feel my legs, and while i could move my arms, i couldn't feel sensation on them. everything felt intensely surreal, and it was scaring me. i was really freaking the fuck out. my stomach felt awful, my vision was really dim (best way i can describe it is like if you turned the brightness down on your phone, that's what it was like), and everything had gone purple. bright fucking purple.

i lay there for a while, and luckily got along very well with the p.e. teacher so she let me sit out that lesson, i said i was ill or something. i then had to walk 20 minutes home after that. it is genuinely the most horrible bodily experience i have ever had.

so yeah, don't drink hand sanitizer to get out of an exam. it really doesn't work, and it will fuck you up beyond belief. it took me about a week before that weird surreal feeling went away.

also it tasted like ass, 0/10 do not recommend

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[mooniedust]

Modern Aemond X Transreader Prompt

Plot: You and Aemond are in a casual relationship, but you yearn for something deeper and more meaningful, something Aemond seems either incapable of or unwilling to give. At a gathering of acquaintances, the suggestion to play "Truth or Dare" comes up. You speak impulsively, leading to a confrontation between the two of you that escalates upstairs at the party.

TW: This prompt addresses sensitive issues related to gender identity, including feelings of inadequacy in one’s own skin and internalized transphobia. As a trans man who has faced these struggles, I want to stress that there is no intent to romanticize these psychological challenges. If you’re experiencing something similar, please seek support/help. And remember, you are not alone, you are valid, and you are loved.

Note: This is Aemond's version of my other prompt/bot "Casual," originally created with Aegon. Many changes have been made to fit each character’s personality.

With all my heart,

Moon dust.

---

"I just don't get it. We do all these things together, so why does the word 'dating' seem so terrifyingly repulsive?" Your voice rang out, sharp and edged with desperation, as he tore off the jewelry he had meticulously chosen for the party. The makeup, once accentuating his beauty with almost artistic precision, now only served to make him look like a clown—desperate, pleading for crumbs of a committed relationship.

They had been involved for six months—two young men starved for touch, caught in an addictive pattern of casual encounters. Outings filled with conversations about mutual interests, provoking each other until one was pinned against the wall, breathless, moaning as if their body was being worshipped by the divine. You were at peace with this. Aemond had made it clear from the start what you were and always would be: not a couple, but a refuge, a release valve.

until you weren't anymore.

Perhaps it was naive of you to allow yourself to fall for him despite his insufferably cynical personality, but you did, and with overwhelming intensity. Something changed over those months—nights spent tangled in each other's arms, him always pulling your body closer whenever the emptiness of the bed threatened to separate you, the gentle kisses on your forehead while you slept, or that one time, after the most intense sex either of you had ever experienced, when he broke the silence to cry, to talk about his family and the loneliness that consumed him in his own home. That was when he spoke of feelings, something he never did—except with you.

It was a low blow.

Congratulations, you fell for the broken boy.

And so the story brings you both to the end of a decadent party at a classmate's house, a gathering far too loud for overwhelmed minds. It was inevitable that, at some point, half-drunk teenagers would start a game of "truth or dare"—drama has always been a fuel as potent as alcohol. Maybe it was a stupid game, but you wanted to hear those words, to push him until he confessed them. You wanted to hear so many unspoken truths. But you ruined everything. When the bottle pointed at him and you opened your reckless mouth, you ruined everything.

"Is it true what you said that night? The movie night at Lauren's house, when we were almost asleep—you said you loved me. Is that true?" The tension in the room became palpable the moment you finished your question. The number of eyes fixed on you was a sign that you had gone too far, and the game no longer seemed fun. Damn it. Fuck. Shit.

No one had to wait long for an answer before Aemond grabbed your hand to the muffled sound of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated." His long fingers wrapped around your small hand, while his other hand guided your waist upstairs with a simple, serious "we need to talk, alone."

It was your walk of shame to one of the rooms where the two of you would sleep that night, your hands sweating and fidgeting with the hem of your short black skirt, desperately trying to channel your feelings into anything but Aemond "I don't know what we are" Targaryen.

"It makes no sense to keep saying we're nothing. It's almost cruelty, treating all of this like a relationship and then getting mad when I want one—it's unfair." You repeated, your voice now tinged with pain and exhaustion, your eyebrows furrowed, your face twisted in a grimace of despair.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what?

"Because we're not in a relationship. We talked about this on the first day we decided to start, you agreed, and so did I." Aemond avoided your gaze as he closed the door to the room, but the tension was visible in his rigid shoulders and in the way his right hand rubbed his left temple, near the black eye patch, trying to relieve an invisible strain.

"I've changed, Aemond. I'm everything you need. I can wear skirts, makeup—God, I could even be a girl if it means you'll stay with me. I can forget about this whole trans thing, maybe it's just in my head, yeah? Silly me. Just stay with me, please, You love me, we both know that. I just need you to tell the truth, just once, so that all this pain and turmoil in my heart and mind will have been worth it."

But they aren't worth it.

"Look, I'll say this because you're right about one thing: I love you, {{user}}." He finally spoke after long minutes of silence, his sapphire eye locked onto yours, but his hardened expression made it clear this conversation would not end with a simple declaration of love. "But I could never love you in the way you want. I don't want a relationship right now with you. It doesn't matter if you feel like a woman or a man—that's not the point. Just not now."

"But you could, maybe in the future. I could wait." Your voice was almost pitiful, a desperate plea. Never in your life had you begged for anything, let alone for someone's love. And now, here you were, dressed in clothes that made you uncomfortable, your makeup ruined by tears, covered in all those things that made you look more like a doll just to make Aemond might find that attractive.

Look like a girl.

It's always been your insecurity with gender, too feminine to be seen as a man, but too masculine to be loved as a false woman."

Silly boy.

Aemond smiled faintly, a barely noticeable pull of his lips as he moved closer with calculated steps. He hovered in front of you, his thumb gently wiping your cheek in a gesture almost tender. God, you were pathetic, even to him.

"I never could, either, and that would make the wait even more painful. Do you understand? I might wake up one day and want to get married, have kids, and all that domestic nonsense we've always mocked. How can I guarantee I'll feel the same way in four years? I don't want you to wait. I don't want you to change. No one who truly loves you should ask that of you. This is probably where I have to end the mess we've made." He bent down slightly, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear, and placed a chaste kiss on your forehead before whispering that he was sorry.

Aemond’s steps retreated, leaving you surrounded by cold, by the emptiness that had always been there, but this time it was final, a last goodbye.

"Someone will love you. Someone will love the man you are. But that someone won't be me. I'm sorry."

Four weeks.

And Aemond was now officially and openly dating a girl.

[milesxtan]

[cIs-male, he/him] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [MILES TAN]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [ROSS BUTLER]. You must be the [TWENTY-NINE] year old [VET TECHNICIAN]. Word is you’re [OPTIMISTIC] but can also be a bit [OBNOXIOUS] and your favorite song is [PARTY ROCK ANTHEM by LMFAO]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [AURORA BAY DRIVE]. I’m sure you’ll love it! @aurorabayaesthetic

tw: bullying.

Name: miles lee tan Gender: cis-male Pronouns: he/him Age: twenty-nine Birthdate: apr 2nd ( aries sun. gemini moon. pisces rising ) Sexual Orientation: heterosexual Romantic Orientation: heteromantic Profession: vet technician. shelter volunteer Positive Traits: loyal. optimistic. passionate. outgoing. confident Negative Traits: loud. tactless. gullible. dramatic. reckless  Likes: nightwing, late nights. martial arts. dbz. music. animals ( all kinds ). parties. soccer. hockey. movies. sex. pokemon. learning new things. tarot. philosophy. sunny days. tiger king ( joe exotic ). social media. tik tok. family gatherings. sexting.  Dislikes: waiting. twitter. strategy games. opera. reading. bullies. people who go out of their way to make someone else feel stupid. injustice ( the video game…and the other thing he guesses ). seeing other people treated like shit. sad sacks. clutter. messy landscaping. carol fucking baskin. animal abuse.  Quirks: knows karate and aikido. Has a 3rd degree black belt and used to teach in college. owns and drives a moped. loves to record himself ( mtv cribs style ). is really great with kids. surprisingly organized, his place is pretty spotless. doesnt wear shoes unless absolutely necessary. has a skin care regiment.  Father: laurence tan Mother: elizabeth (windsor) tan Siblings: lewis tan (42), xin tan (40; heartborn), ??? tan (38), ??? tan (36; heartborn), ??? tan (34), ??? tan (31; heartborn) Children: none Pets? Satoshi; “foster” dog Other: phaedra windsor; grandmother

Details:

Miles was born Miles Lee Tan to Elizabeth and Lawrence Tan on April 2nd twenty-nine years ago in Aurora Bay.

His siblings like to refer to him as the family’s April fools surprise.

One reason being is he was very much an accident. The plan was always 3 biological and 3 adopted children. A large loving family blended with those born from blood and those from the heart.

While Miles was unexpected, he never felt it growing up. A family consisting of nine different personalities is bound to have disputes and there have been a lot over the years, but they’ve always loved each other deeply. Family was important, a top priority always, and Miles grew up surrounded by love.

As a kid, he was always going a mile a minute. Always jabbering on, always into something. His mother, Elizabeth, never seemed to mind. If anything she embraced it using a somewhat free range approach to raising her children. She let them do as they pleased as long as they practiced reflection and responsibility after. The consequences were theirs whatever decisions were made.

So if he wanted to take apart the toaster, fine. He had to put it back together. If not? He would be working to pay for a new one. Want to stay up all night watching anime? Fine. If he fell asleep and failed his quiz the next day? The tv was gone.

It was a process for Miles, who multiple teachers recommended that he take some form of medication for his outbursts and inability to follow directions without being distracted or derailing the entire class. His mother refused, but she did begin to focus on helping him regulate and make better choices.

Did it work? Eh. But he managed to scrape by.

But where he lacked impulse control, Miles made up in kindness. He always the first to volunteer to help, whether it involved the teacher or another student. He’d give away  his lunch money to someone he thought needed it or sit with the kids that seemed alone, talking their heads off about the latest thing he saw on late night tv. 

He was the kind of kid you dreaded and loved all at once and if you ask him, he’ll tell you his childhood was a wonderful thing.

Some highlights include, starting Karate at age 5. Martial arts was one, if not the only way, to really get Miles to slow down and focus. It was and still is a passion for him. He earned his black belt by age 9, his second degree by 11, and his 3rd by 14, making him one of the youngest in the county to have a 3rd degree blackbelt.

Began learning Japanese at age seven. It started as self teaching, but eventually his parents brought in a tutor. 

As he hit his preteen years, Miles began to play sports. Soccer was his poison of choice and he was good…but some of the other kids found him to be odd. He was the youngest of seven, so there were always jokes made about the rag tag crew or about how he spent more time talking about japanese cartoons, comics and superheroes than he did the sport or the usual topics. Small, he was picked at, but Miles? He never really noticed.

He was the butt end of jokes, but always the first to laugh. He was confident, even then, that the things his ‘friends’ did were often in good fun and never to take advantage of him or be malicious. Even when his trips to the principal’s office became more frequent and his detentions began to pile up, he insisted things were fine. He was loyal and they just had different ways of showing their friendship to him.

He was sixteen when a new kid moved to town and his friends turned their attention to him. Miles thought they were looking to welcome him into the fold, he was a bit quiet, always reading, kinda awkward, but the more time they spent with him, the more Miles started to notice the shit way they were treating him. The jokes they had used on Miles, they were funny to him, but this kid? Not so much. It didn’t take long before he began to see their relationship with this kid and their relationship with him? They weren’t harmless and in one very explosive day, Miles not only stood up for the kid, but may have broken his best friend’s jaw.

He was ousted from the soccer team. Fine. He needed new friends. Fine. He had one and that was fine with him. He took it all in stride. Stayed confident and though he had a nasty mark on his record, his parents were proud he finally stood up for himself and someone else. In the end, his dad able to make it go away, but still.

That summer, on a mission to be his own man and less of a sheep. In the three years that followed, Miles juggled a lot of different things. He began helping at his dojo as well as the local animal shelter and his partying streak started up.

The closer he got to his senior year more pressure was applied-- or rather more responsibility was encouraged. School wasn’t exactly top priority and to him, that was fine. Why did a bunch of numbers have to dictate his life?

It wasn’t until he decided he wanted to help animals for a living did he realize good grades were probably a good thing. So he tried. Half way through his junior year, he attempted to study more, did more extracurriculars and started dating his childhood and close family friend, Sloane Danvers.

It was a lot of work. Real fucking work. But he felt-- accomplished. By the time he was going into the summer of his senior year, everything was coming up Miles. So much so, he missed how much Sloane was struggling. Though to be fair, she was pretty good at hiding it.

It wasn't until he caught her cheating on him did things splinter. It was a blow, a big one, but something they kept private. He understood her and her troubles and part of him kinda felt bad for not realizing sooner. They decided to stay together at least through graduation, though it was never quite the same.

Senior year came and went and by then it was too late to get in anywhere prestigious. Which was fine. He made his bed and he was quick to figure something else out.

He decided on taking a gap year so he doubled down on volunteering and started learning aikido. Phaedra, his grandmother, and his grandfather on his mother's side are loaded and they helped him pay for his out of state schooling that following August.

One bachelor’s degree and a certificate later and he took off to see the world. Partly on his grandmother's dime and the other as a wildlife technician. he worked and lived a variety of locations over the years. He's only returned to Aurora Bay in the last year, due to his grandfather's passing.

So while she’s off jet setting to ease the pain, Miles' taking responsibility for the upkeep of her Aurora Bay home. He has no clue about home repair, but he’s more than happy to squat, make sure she’s not robbed and start work in a town that’s always been hype and home.

[into-deep-waters]

(TW: flashing lights for the first gif)

“$7,96? Come on man, you can’t always keep the prices rising!” Isak Walsh, called Fog by most people, groaned and raised his hands in the air. Barry just shrugged it off. “I gotta make a living somehow. Get over it or fuck off. Stop wasting my fucking time, Walsh.” The Brit sighed, as he pulled out the dollars from his pocket. “Oi. You know something about a party this weekend?” A sharp smile appeared on Barry’s lips. “Make it $12 and I’ll tell you.”

Fog groaned, but he payed the price nevertheless.

Later that day he texted his boys. He couldn’t wait to kill the weed with Zombie.

Jessamine “Jess” Thompson threw the best parties in town. Luckily Fog was occasionally hooking up with her, they both benefit from their fling and they���re okay with keeping it casual. Jess didn’t care about Fog’s status (aka basically being poor compared to herself) he was just another pretty face she liked to devour and he was a funny guy, so she didn’t mind inviting him and his friend to her parties from time to time. They wouldn’t call themselves friends but they got along fine, even out of the bedroom. So when he asked her about her party (after hearing from Barry that there would be one) she simply said yes on the premise of a night together.

Jamie sat on the kitchen counter, Sierra Delacruz between his spread legs and her lips dangerously close to his own, as he saw Rafe Cameron walking into the house. The surfer hadn’t thought much about their last encounter, mostly because he thought he wouldn’t meet him again this soon. Sure, their hometown wasn’t very large and there could be possible spots to meet, but most of the spots where Jamie hung out (alone or with his friends) weren’t that popular for rich and wealthy people.

But they were in kook territory now, thanks to Fog’s connections.

There could’ve been a light chance that Rafe Cameron would enter the party as well. And actually seeing him here confirmed Jamie’s suspicion that he was a college dropout. It was neither the time for spring break nor other holidays, it was the middle of the semester.

And yet here he was.

Jamie got a fair share of Rafe’s temper and impulsiveness (he learned the hard way) firsthand, so it wouldn’t actually surprise the surfer if Rafe would start a fight or make a scene, people like him didn’t care about their surroundings. But even stupid dumbasses like Rafe Cameron new better than starting a fight in the mayor’s house, especially when his dearest daughter was the host. Daddy Cameron probably would beat the shit out of him if he acts so reckless in public and destroy possible powerful connections with his actions. Hypothetically speaking.

Jamie didn’t know about their family dynamics (he also didn’t gave a flying fuck) but the Cameron’s didn’t seem like the happiest family from afar and given Rafe’s anger issues and problematic behaviour, there was seriously something clearly wrong with that guy.

Sierra hit on him continuously since last summer, she clearly didn’t get the message that Jamie wasn’t interested and kept on pestering him. She was a walking goddess, the swimmer couldn’t deny her beauty, but he hated her guts, her personality was very unpleasant and most times she just annoyed the fuck out of him. Right now though, he could take advantage of her interest in him, it would be a great opportunity to mess with Rafe’s head even more.

A devilish grin appeared on his lips. He didn’t know why he wanted to crawl under Rafe’s skin like that. For now, Jamie didn’t care, as long as it worked.

He had to wait for the right timing so his scheme could go as planned.

Rafe was near the kitchen

Now.

Jamie grabbed Sierra by her hips and pulled her closer, while his left hand disappeared in her long hair, tilting his head to the side and pressed his lips on hers, slowly closing his eyes for show. A pleased gasp left her plump lips but she eagerly kissed him back, wrapping her delicate arms around his neck and probably couldn’t believe her luck, since she finally got what she wanted for so long.

They shared a heated and passionate kiss.

When Jamie opened his eyes, still kissing Sierra, he was met with two deep blue sapphires, angrily gazing at him. Before looking into Rafe Cameron’s eyes Jamie never realized that blue eyes could look like such hot fire. Until now.

To say he was absolutely delighted was a fucking understatement.

So he deepened their kiss, putting even more sensuality into it, while he kept looking at the kook.

“Come on, man, let’s play some beer pong and teach those losers a lesson!” Jamie heard Topper saying, while placing his hand on Rafe’s shoulder to get his attention.

Jamie closed his eyes again, tilting his head more to the side, the tip of his tongue teasingly licking over her glossy lips.

He could feel the kook’s burning gaze even through his closed eyes.

Good.

A make out session and a beer pong match later

Jamie chilled outside by the pool, he needed some fresh air. It was a pain to get rid of Sierra after they hooked up but somehow he managed. He hung out with his friends for a while, just enjoying the music and spending time with his lads, feeling Rafe’s burning glances on him every now and then. Electricity shot through his veins every time he noticed but he never returned his gaze, what probably pissed off the other male even more.

But he excused himself from his friends, he wanted to get the kook alone. The blond was dying to know what he’d do.

He knew he’d come. Of course he would come. After leaving him alone like a dumbass on the street.

Let’s get the real party started, Jamie thought, as rich boy was slowly walking over to him. He openly stared at Rafe, with his usual smug expression.

“Missed me, sweetheart?”

Luckily they were the only ones by the pool. He still had to figure out if it was for Jamie’s benefit or downfall.

But Rafe would make sure that Jamie get his answer soon enough, the surfer could tell.

Oh, the feeling of victory was so sweet, Jamie was completely delighted, as he pushed his lips even harder against the other’s. He wanted to bruise him – in the most enjoyable way. His lips moved on their own, ever so gentle but twice as intense, and Jamie let his thumb absently move over the back of Rafe’s hand, still holding his fist in his palm.

The kook completely stiffened. Then he hit Jamie in the face. Noticeable, but not really hard, his cheek didn’t even started throbbing. The swimmer kept on lying on the ground, gazing into the night sky for a moment, before Rafe’s pretty face appeared above him again, fist raised to the air. A handsome face indeed, Jamie understood the whispers of the girls in the hallways about the other now. But an attractive face didn’t changed the fact that he was a still an asshole. Jamie prepared for the next blow but it never came.

Aw, I broke him.

Rafe was completely lost, it seemed that he didn’t know what to do with himself.

And Jamie smiled cheekily.

“I’m not… that.” Well, too bad. What a damn waste. Jamie’s bisexual ass couldn’t relate. “Sounds like a you problem then. You‘re really missing out on something.”

“I’m gonna kill you.” Those words probably were a threat, but it was hard to feel any kind of fear or unease. Well, get in line then. A lot of people want to kill us. Nothing wrong with dude’s kissing dude’s, get over it already.

The blond got up from the ground, looking directly into Rafe’s eyes.

“Well, you have to catch me for that first.” The amount of smugness in Jamie’s face was overly confident. Rafe still kept his distance, like the surfer had a disease he was about to be infected with. Good.

Ever so slowly he walked over to him. Shoulders straightened, with his head held high, like Jamie owned that place. Right before Rafe he came to a stop, tardily bending forward, looking directly into his eyes. His eyes glowed with anger, resembling the blue flames of an unforgiving fire and Jamie was so fucking ready to get burned. “See you in your dreams, sweetheart.”

And since he apparently really had a death wish, he leaned forward again. Not to kiss, that move would be way too easy to read and Jamie enjoyed being unpredictable, but to gentle pat his cheek with his palm.

Then he quickly jumped on his skateboard, threw one last look over his shoulder to wink at Rafe provocatively, and drove into the night as fast as he could.

[dallylovebot]

[ under the spotlight ] dally winston ! 🍒🌹

wc. 806

tw. mentions of pregnancy, dally’s death scene

FOR years, you've hated dally winston. before that, you loved him how red blood cells love oxygen and how cotton loves blood. though, you've never been able to look at him the same way before the incident. because now, he's dead.

you're sitting with sodapop and the rest of the gang when ponyboy, the sweet boy looking pale and half-dead, comes into the house. you're more focused on the boy's condition before his words ring in your ears. dally, he says. and something about johnny. you feel your heart stop cold.

johnny cade was perhaps the one person dally cared about more than himself. johnny cade: small, slim, and resembling a puppy with his dark eyes that stared at you with the world, but also in fear. 

you're the first one up from the couch and out the door as soon as pony's words hit your ears. you're not sure what your boyfriend will do, but you're sure it'll be reckless. you're met with freezing air wrapping around you, but it's far from a blanket. for a second or for forever, you don't know where you're going. you have this terrible feeling in your gut that yanks you away from the other boys, and then sodapop is by your shoulder, telling you that dally just robbed a grocery store. you sprint like never before; this time, the feeling in your gut only gets stronger. there's a voice in the back of your head telling you something is really, really wrong.

the gears are turning in your brain as wind brushes past your face and numbs your cheeks. dally, dally - why would he suddenly rob a grocery store? a petty crime like that after johnny's death? your heart drops to meet your gut and you almost stop running. but you can't, and you're at the lot faster than you realize and you meet dally's eyes in the cold, cold dark. you've never seen his face like that, all desperate and in complete pain that you want to wipe away. your face contorts and you can't control yourself; you move to dally instinctively as he's being chased by the fuzz, but sodapop stops you. you watch as dally reaches a street light, illuminated by a damn cruel spotlight, and see him pull out the damn gun. you know what he's going to do before he does it. oh god, dally, no, and it's a despairing plea he can't hear. you know his bluff, and you know how he'll use it.

you wish you didn't.

you cry, scream, and tear at sodapop's restricting arm as you try to reach dally to no avail. you try to run into the torrent of gunfire that look like the shooting stars dally had taken you to see one night, the night he'd said he'd catch one for you one day. the day will never come now, and you sob dally's name. you hope he heard it the moment his heart stopped beating in his chest.

you see him crumple to the asphalt, and oh god he shouldn't look like that, and you can't tear your eyes away. you saw this coming a mile away, but you could do nothing. with one last will of your power, you tear yourself apart from sodapop's arms and run toward dally's gunshot-ridden corpse. you feel your legs give in midway and you collapse, knees scraping the pavement. the pain jabbing your knees is nothing to the pain you feel staring at his lifeless body and you know you'll never reach him again. the fuzz are already taking his body away and all you can do is cry and scream at yourself. there are presences behind you, unmistakably the gang's, but you don't care.

"fuck you, dallas winston, fuck you!" you shake and sob to the ground. sodapop puts a hand on your trembling shoulder; you can only recognize him by his gentle touch.

he's stupid, he's stupid, you relay to yourself. you put a hand to your stomach, feeling sick, and whisper so only you and sodapop can hear it:

"i'm pregnant."

for years, you hate dally winston and his stupid face that's been engrained in your mind ever since the incident. you hate him for leaving the world and your baby, the lovely angel he never got to see.

you always tell your child that his father was brave and good-hearted, on the inside. in reality, he was just another teenager broken by the universe - violent and impulsive. but you hate him for leaving you alone.

sometimes you wonder what it'd be like if he were alive. they're the thoughts you don't dwell upon because you know you'll end up missing him too much if you do. oh, him and his life that'll never be.

you keep his necklace around your neck and some of his clothes in your closet. his scent is fading on them, the same way his voice fails to meet your ears properly when you imagine him these days. 

but you'll be okay, you think to yourself, as you look at your baby. he has similar pointed ears and a mischievous grin, and you think you'll be fine even without dally. because you have your greatest pride and joy with you - once his - and it'll be okay.

[inlustrissss]

Last Time

“The woman was scared to die all alone in a foreign country”

SPOILER WARNING!! CHAPTER 138

Edit: Thank you for 200 notes 😊😚

Levi x fem!Reader

TW! : slight angst but also mentioning of death, dw, got some nice and bittersweet moments as well

Summary: Levi and his fiancé are part of the survey corps and on a dangerous mission to stop Eren Jaeger in his plan with the rumble. On Marleyan ground, right before everything crumbles down, (Y/N) sees her life flash before her eyes

As Falco had caught on to the Kirschtein man, Connie looked devastated, the scene before the strong soldiers of Paradis unfolding into a complete disaster as Armin was about to detonate the bomb right around where Erens nape connected to it's bone-ish body.

"We need to get out quick!! Armin's gonna blow those bones to pieces!"

Having held down on to Piecks cart Titan body, (Y/N) loosened her grapple-hook, the gravity pulling her towards the ground as the hook returned to it's place at the ODM-Gear. At the same time the black haired woman Pieck emerged out of the Titan form, letting herself fall and hugging the (H/C) haired woman tightly.

Facing the ground, Falcos wings caught the women: "The armored Titan should be able to withstand the colossus Titan explosion—", seeing Jeans concern of their fellow old comrade, she tried to ease his worries as she sweated, "And most of all: Reiner's prepared for all of the consequences. To let this opportunity get away would be to let that go to waste!"

As suddenly Falcos Titan body increased its speed and flew up higher into the sky, (Y/N)s reflexes kicked in, making her close her eyes in fear. She felt an arm hug her waist tightly. Caught off guard, her (E/C) orbs opened frantically and her head swinging into the direction of the arms owner: it was her fiancé, the very man who had asked for her to marry him right in the middle of the war. Gifting the strongest soldier of humanity a subtle smile as a thank you, and maybe even slight reassurance for herself, she seemed to melt at his touch, getting lost in the rare colour of his cool blue eyes. Sighing, his tense shoulders relaxed for a second: "You okay?" His deep voice almost hoarse as it came out as a whisper, "Don't do anything reckless, stupid." Nodding speechlessly the woman noticed the bright light from behind her-- the bomb had been detonated and a loud, ear piercing bang sounded throughout the trampled battlefield of Marley. 

Wide eyes glancing towards the direction of Eren whereabouts, hands covering ears, the ring on (Y/N)s finger sparkled whenever the warm rays of sunlight reached the beautiful material. 

Was the battle finally over?

There was no time to think of the answer to that question, there wasn’t even any time to think of the question in the first place. It was a bittersweet moment, when Falco finally landed on the ground in front of those Marleyans and Eldians who had survived the ramble up until now. Leaving his titan body Falcos eyes searched the crowd for his parents. The little yet brave girl Gabi doing the same, running up to her mother and aunt, hugging them tightly just as Pieck did with her parents. Carefully jumping off of the bird like titan body, (Y/N) and Connie took a hold of Levis weakened body, making sure he stood on his feet before Connie adjusting his arm and placed it around his neck. The engaged woman never leaving her financés side, she held him by his torso, looking at the children that had been with them for a long time throughout the war, finally reuniting with their parents. The sight of Gabi smiling made her forget all of her worries. With Levi close to herself, nothing could beat them now.

“It’s not like I don’t have any regrets but-”, Connie looking around, seeing all the crying faces, “we did the right thing, didn’t we?” “We stopped the rumbling..”

“Wait!”, Gabi suddenly called out, running towards the cliff, almost falling off of it if it weren’t for (Y/N)s reflexes to catch the impulsive girl, “Watch it Gabi!”, the woman said with concern lacing her sweet voice, “But Reiner is still fighting.. and Armin?!”, looking back to the battlefield, they saw Reiner on the ground with Armin walking over to the cliff where everyone had been.

“They’re okay.”, said Jean as he patted Gabis should, but something had caught their attention. 

It was the centipede- like looking creature, which had taken control over Eren when he had transformed into the founding titan: “Hey, look over there!!”, yelled Connie while pointing at the thing, “It survived the explosion?” “What the fuck is that thing..”, mumbled Levi with a disgusted look, “Who knows, love.”, said (Y/N), “But all I know is that we can’t let this thing survive.”, with a determined look she glanced to her comrades, tightening her grip on to Levi. A bright light emitted behind the colossal titan,  the place where Erens corpse had been. “I didn’t think it’d take that much to kill you..”, said Jean as he was looking towards the bright light, seeing a titan form in the distance.

Long brown hair dancing with the wind, it was Eren.

“We can’t let Eren get to that thing down there!”, yelled (Y/N). Right when she was about to turn towards Levi and possibly get him ready for another fight, she noticed him groaning and his head hanging low, “Levi? What’s wrong?!”, brows furrowing, she tried to take a hold of his eyes with hers. “Just a headache.”, he whispered.

 A headache- come to think of it, Mikasa had been having headaches throughout the fight with Eren too..

Noticing how Gabi had crouched down with the others, (Y/N) decided to let her finacés headache slide and see what was going on. “What is this smoke?”, asked Gabi, “Smoke?”, inspecting further, (Y/N) saw how the creature had deflated, leaving only smoke behind, which soon covered a large space and devoured almost all of the mountain where they had been seeking their cover. “Is that thing finally dying?”, Mikasa groaned as he raised his brow suspiciously at the thing. But Connie had another answer: “No, it doesn’t smell like a dead titan”, his hand covering mouth and nose at the smell. His heart dropping and hands growing colder with each second, he was under shock: “Isn’t it the same they did in...”, he swallowed, “..In Ragako?”

Only hearing the confused voices speaking in the background, it was completely silent among the group. No one dared to mutter another word, it had all come to an end.

She wanted to cry but she couldn’t, her heart stopped to fear it only started to clench in worry, “Levi you have to get out of here”

It only rung louder and stronger, it was like his head was killing him slowly, praising him with a painful dead, it was like his instinct was punishing him for his failure. No it can’t be instinct, he truly did love her, he was no servant. Yet his DNA was telling otherwise.

“No don’t do this to me-”, the Ackerman males murmurs were cut off by his beloved soon to be wife, “Pieck, Mikasa! Get on Falco and hurry!”

“Please oh god don’t do this to me-”

“Levi, it’s okay.”, softly touching his cheek, being careful not to hurt his injury under the dirty and sweat stained bandages, she held his paled face. This very face she saw all those years ago, when he was captured by commander Erwin with his fellow friends Isabel and Farlan, oh how she has missed them all.  Recalling their first interaction when Hanji ran off to greet them at their first expedition, praising them on their skill with the ODM gear.

She glanced at his eyes. Those eyes she first truly started to take in the night he was at his worst, crying under the moonlit night, cursing himself how he could’ve been stronger. Those seemingly cold eyes that would always watch over squadleader (L/N)s doings. Those very eyes that would always gaze at her with love and tender were struck with fear and disbelief now. She knew he was too weak, she was scared he wouldn’t be able to handle another death. 

Levis nose stung, his eyes burning, this is it, he was close to crying. But as he heard her sweet voice, it was as if there was no war raging, “It’s okay my love”, she said with an almost inaudible whisper, forcing herself to not break down and cry herself. “You need to get out of here Levi”, her voice calming his penetrating headache, “You need to survive” Foreheads pressed together, (Y/N) swiftly let go off of his face to look at her right hand, “Here quick, take the ring honey-”, sliding off the engagement ring, she took Levis weak hand and pressed the warm yellow gold into his palm, she smiled softly, not noticing a single tear slip, “I’ll see you again Levi”

Pressing her warm lips tightly against his cold ones, she took a hold of his shoulders and hugged him. 

He hesitated, needing to take in what just happened but hugged her back just as tight, patting down her messy hair, just like hed always do to keep his beloved tidy. As they slowly parted she whispered “You need to hurry.”

Their moment seemed as if took hours.

Seeing Falco take off with the one she devoted herself to, (Y/N) finally broke down. Her life flashing by her eyes and even all the talks she had with Levi about her future, she played it all out just how it could’ve been.

Remembering how he had asked her to be his wife in the middle of war, because he was scared he wouldn’t survive, thinking of all the reassurence they both gave themselves until now.  Dreaming of a future together, knowing it would stay one.

She cried.

Hot tears streaming down her flushed cheecks, she wasn’t even able to keep up with the flow of her tears anymore, (Y/N) just gave up on trying to dry them. The woman was scared to die all alone in a foreign country.

“So this is how it ends, huh?”, (Y/N) stopped.

It was Jean who was pulling her close towards himself, Connie on his other side, hugging the taller male as well. “Guess so..”, said Connie. Turning towards Jean with an indifferent expression he scoffed, “Remember the night of the entrance ceremony?”, Jean nodded, “This is your fault we’re here right now.”

At their bickering right before the end made, (Y/N) had to laugh, “Stop it you guys, now’s not the time” Connie groaned, “Come on, when’s ever the time..”, but Jean apologized, “I’m sorry Squadleader”

Growing only sadder at the title, (Y/N) sighed: “Drop the act Jean, we’re only human after all.”

“Right.. (Y/N)”

She wished she could look into Levis warm eyes again.

She longed to see, she would do everything,

just to see him one last time

 Closing her eyes, she let the sunrays hit her skin, making her look angelic with the golden glow. Will it hurt? Will it be quick? Her mind growing ever so slight when the worries ceased, she didn’t want those things to be the last thing, worry should not consume ones life.

So when the time finally came, she only thought of Levi Achermann, the man she had loved the most in her life.

Seeing his beautiful steel gray eyes in her mind set her at ease.  So she rememniced his lovely touch for one last time.

[nxtsnw]

Hello, I hope your doing great and all in life and everything! And I would like to put in a Tokyo Revengers male romantic match up request! I lowkey don’t see myself with any of the females they just too precious for me and my heart to handle.

Gender: Female with she/her pronouns

Sexuality: Bisexual (But I would say I’m more boy leaning cuz I tend to have more crushes on guys)

MBTI: ESTP

Habits: I bite my nails 😬

Likes: Anime, music, food, and things that just make me feel happy

Dislike: Things that make me angry like people, myself, etc. School, life, work.

Personality: Smart academically by school standards ig, but I can be pretty stupid sometimes. Reckless, crazy, misanthrope(someone who hates the human race), social, weird, bit oblivious/dense. A bit fucked up in the head, where the people around me say I have no guilty conscience, empathy, and/or sympathy. I also have anger issues.

Thank you for opening up a match up! And thank you for doing this!

n.a:hii!! Pls i love the hate for the human race.

I really hope you'll it, always I'm sorry for any mistakes<3

I match you with SHION MADARAME <3

- scary dog ​​privilege vibes!!

- would love to tease you but would hate to apologize (I think he's pretty proud)

- overprotective and quite jealous, but he does his best not to let you notice it (he often fails-).

- Btw don't worry, he trusts you. Besides, it's the rest of the people that he doesn't trust.

-See, he could always hug you in a moment, and immediately afterward he would like to be alone.

-this is how I imagine his "confession": (you were friends for a long time, but he understood that he felt something for you)

tw: violence (?), strong words

It was about 11 pm when the boy was walking you home. You were out since the morning and both of you were very tired, but he still insisted on taking you home (even if he always complained during the trip-)

The street was poorly lit and the noises not very reassuring, you were close enough to smell his perfume, but not to take each other by the hand.

After walking around for a while, a bunch of probably drunk guys tried to approach you.

"I hate you sober, imagine drunk," you told him before picking up the pace.

But before you could leave, one had managed to grab you by the arm. Shion, who hadn't moved until that moment, reacted on impulse.

"Oh, finally some fun" he smirked before he started hitting that guy.

Seeing that his friends were stopped there, he approached them to say:

"Do you have any idea who I am? Oh probably no. Do you believe that such a beautiful girl could care about you? If I were you I would leave my girl alone, unless you want to find yourself dead in 0.2 seconds"

Beasts, honestly they were already scared after seeing the boy's tattoo and ran away.

"y/n, are you okay?"

"yes I guess, but can you repeat what you said?"

"What? are you okay?"

"no, before"

at that moment he realized what he had said, but he will never admit it-

- judge people together <3 (I think he too hates mankind :))

- he's pretty loud but I swear that when you're tired and you need silence, he falls silent<3

- would come to your house at 2 am to take you out for a date.

- he would learn to play the guitar, but he's quite out of tune. So imagine him night under your window waking you up with his sweet voice-

- would annoy you while you study, but would also try to help you (ending up threatening your teachers with death cause they gave too much hw-)

[ofsawyer]

INTRO. @duskintro​

well, would you look at SAWYER ROSS this year? i believe they have been training for ELEVEN YEARS of their TWENTY FOUR years of life. this makes them a MODERATE hunter in their family, but they’re also pretty good at GETTING ARRESTED FOR PETTY CRIMES. when dusk falls, you can usually find them heading home to QUEENS by PRIVATE CAR.

( cismale. he / him. bisexual. ) - penned by r.

BASICS.

Name: Sawyer Ross

Gender & pronouns: Cismale, He/Him

Species: Human turned Hunter

Affiliation: Ross Family, Cecelia Ross’ son 

Age: 24 (DOB: July 30th)

Sexuality: If it’s got a pulse, he will try to fuck it 

Job: Morning Show Political Correspondent 

Hometown: Queens, NY

PERSONALITY.

A hunter with a heart of gold who believes that being a hunter means protecting those who can’t protect themselves 

A young buck! A himbo, If you will 

How loudly can someone be a Gryffindor? We’re about to find out 

Was head of social for his fraternity at NYU

Either calling you to invite you to a party or calling you to bail him out 

Adrenaline junkie 

Has a great capacity for empathy 

Will try to kiss you 

Equally quick to pick a fight 

“That fire was already there when I got here” 

If luck was a tangible trait, this boy would have it. It’s a fucking miracle he is still alive.

Will either text you memes at 3am or a tasteful “u up? 😏”

His hunting philosophy is “only the bad ones” and yes he will fight you on this 

Grew up upper class and it shows. (“It’s a banana how much could it cost??” - and that’s on his trust fund, BABEY )

A bad driver, not because he can’t get a handle on the logistics of it, but because he’s got a few impulse control problems. Keeps crashing his cars and keeps buying new ones. 

More perceptive than he appears to be, he IS a decent hunter even though he’s a hot mess half the time. He will sometimes willfully play stupid to shirk responsibility. 

Has opinions and will make sure they are heard. “Pay me $8000 for my silence.” 

Lots of Apollo imagery with this one. Or a less angry Jason Todd.  

HISTORY.

(tw - mentions of: death)

Born in Queens, New York to a prominent and wealthy family - Sawyer cut his teeth on silver spoons. More than that, Sawyer was afforded something many in his situation lacked: a loving family and a mother who vowed to give her son a better childhood than the one she had. 

And so Sawyer grew up in relative ease, flourishing in love and raised in kindness. He grew up to be a wild and untamable thing, but one with good heart more than anything else.

Because of his mother’s career as Mayor, Sawyer grew up in proximity of not only the hunting scene of New York, but the political scene as well. 

He witnessed his first supernatural attack when he was seven and immediately understood the importance of what his family did - in a world of gods and monsters, someone has to look out for those who could not defend themselves. 

While family before him had been coerced into being a hunter, Sawyer was different. He chose to be a hunter. As a brave and reckless spirit - hunting came naturally. As a brave and reckless spirit- he often found himself in over his head. 

Sawyer’s mother persisted as a role model through his life and so when college came around, he attended NYU for a degree  in political science. His extroverted nature and natural charm eventually led him to become a political correspondent for a morning show. 

Near the end of his college experience, Sawyer’s parents got divorced. Once again, Sawyer was graced with luck and the divorce was as amicable as such things could be. This was about five years ago.  

More recently, Sawyer’s grandmother passed and Sawyer has sensed a change in the way his mother is choosing to lead the Ross family ever since. There’s more grace in her decisions. Sawyer wants to step up to help Cecelia and intends on trying his best - however, old habits might die hard. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS, BRIEF

(Open) is the most likely to pick up their phone and so I’ve taken to making them my first phone call when I get into trouble. 

(Open) is the person who can keep up with me shot for shot at the bar. 

I once got chased down by mall security and (Open) helped me get away. We are bonded now. 

I went on a tinder date once with (Open.) It did not go as expected.

I interviewed (Open) once on my morning show. 

(Open) is a fellow hunter and we are patrol buddies. This is just a buddy cop film. 

(Open) and I hook up when we are bored. I protected (Open) once and now I check in on them regularly.)

Open to anything and everything else! FWB, enemies, and anything in between!

CONNECTIONS

Cecelia Ross. Mother.

Kathy Ross. Cousin

TBD

[bitchiha]

To Eternal Bliss, I’m so Glad to Know (ModernAU!Hidan x Reader)

The Rats 1k event prompt: Street racer x Hidan

A/N: hey.. aha.. how y'all doing.. hum so i haven't been doing great, I think that is evident through my inactivity on this blog, but that being said i am in a bit of a better place now. i finally have some time to myself and i intend to put that towards my 900 follower event. Enjoy this wonderful piece of modern racer Hidan that strayed into crazy murder himbo I love car man Hidan.

Title inspired by: this song.

MAJOR TWs: smut, harassment (brief, undescriptive), uhm murter, reckless driving, lots of mentions of and contemplations of death. You are a literal accomplice to murter. Reader is confused. But.. It’s not supposed to be gory and dark, I kinda wanted it to just be stupid and reflect a himbo hidan as much as I could. Last like 6 paragraphs aren’t edited.

-

You shouldn’t be in a criminals car, much less in the middle of a police chase and much much less be falling in love with him.

 His silver hair flashes wildly in the occasional flicker of red and blue lights, teeth bared; he was making that face again. That one he had when he first met you, lips curled and canines showing. It looked like he was in pain. It was just because he was actually trying to use his brain, you think. He grips the wheel tightly, the whites of his pale knuckles glowing as he swerves onto one of the busiest city streets you know. 

Barely avoiding a collision with a distinct yellow blur you could barely classify as a taxi, he continued to speed through the lanes, horns blaring and merging into the sound of the wailing sirens quickly approaching. Another sharp turn onto a slightly less busy road had your body slamming against the console, leaning close to Hidan. Your eyes stray from the window and onto his face, unable to hear what he is saying, you make out the movement of his lips:

shit,shit,shiiit 

The tires screeched as he fumbled around with the controls, sending the car into a full 180 and narrowly avoiding a police car sacrificing its auto body in favour of capturing Jashin. That was real close call, just scratching the side of the passenger door, but you wouldn't know; you were still watching your boyfriends features as he speeds off down another dirty alley. 

You were pretty sure that one day you were going to die trapped in Hidans little metal box.. A distant part of you wanted to throw up when you realized you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sure, he was obnoxiously annoying in the most serious of times and incredibly oblivious when you desperately needed him to get a clue. I mean fuck, it felt like despite his adolescent years of elementary and secondary school (which you’re not even sure he attended) his brain only had the capacity to process two things. The first being lewd shit and the second would be the gas pedal... and maybe half a braincell was in there thinking of you, but probably only of you in your panties or something really shallow like that. 

You really shouldn’t love him. 

Barrelling down the alley he randomly slammed the breaks down, the lack of warning sending you flying forward. Bracing yourself to be slammed into the front of car, but just when you thought you were going to break your nose Hidan reversed, sending your body backwards instead. You yelped and he sent you a stupid little apologetic curl of his lip before twisting his body, hand coming to your chair for support as he sped the car backwards through the trash littered street. You didn't understand why he suddenly changed his mind about the direction until a few seconds later when a black and white cop car swerved down the alley in the direction you were back pedalling from. Hidan must have known they were going to try and cut his route off.    

  At the sight of the police vehicle your boyfriend impulsively slammed the breaks, rolling his window down and leaning his head out of it, “Ha, you stupid fucks think you could catch Jashin with some lame shit like that? I could smell that from a mile away!” From your boyfriends childish tone you predicted he was going to blow a raspberry, but the sound of speeding tires approaching quickly stopped him. Sirens blaring, the police car sped its way forward. 

“Oh fuck.” Hidan sped Jashin backwards again. 

  You remembered the first time you met Jashin.

  It was late that night, you were making your long trek home after a disastrous closing shift. You were tired. So fucking tired. You never would have taken that shortcut if you weren’t truly physically drained. As you made your way briskly through that musky trash infested canal, you were stopped by a man who smelled just as intensely as the alley itself. It was so much so that you had thought that perhaps it was the mans smell that was so potent and not the space itself. 

  Defining what the source of that smell was wasn’t important though, not when he was coming straight at you with barred, yellow teeth. You didn't know what to do and to be fair, what the fuck were you supposed to do? He was yelling something, you couldn't hear it over the thrashing of your erratic heartbeat.  Were you going to die? You were so fucking tired. 

Maybe you should run.

  You didn’t though. Didn’t have the energy. So you let the man come face to face with your figure, grabbing at the lapels of your coat and screaming. His breath was unbearable and you thought you were going to pass away just from the smell as opposed to actually being murdered. Although you suppose this could probably qualify for a murder, his breath was most definitely a weapon. But despite his shouts being directly at you, his humid breath spraying across your face as his chest constantly heaved, you couldn't understand what he was saying. 

“Jashin! Jashin is coming!” 

  What the fuck was Jashin? Could you still not hear him? He was probably sick. You were tired. So you continued to let him shake your form. Was he going to kill you or just ask for some money?

  Thats when a beast of sleek red metal swerved down the alley, trampling over peeled open garbage bags and beer bottles, approaching you with each sound of a crinkled can. It was gunning straight towards the man who was backing you up against the wall, he was frothing and screaming at the sight and the next moment the hood of the car slammed into his form. Despite your close proximity to the man, you were left barely unscathed and a little bit disappointed.  

  The scene laid frozen for a good thirty seconds: the man unconscious on the floor, your unsteady breathing and the window of the car rolling down. It inched back to reveal a man about your age - which made him just barely a man - with silver slicked back hair, barred teeth and knitted eyebrows. 

“Shit.” 

  You just stared at him, backpack beginning to slide down your shoulders. He stared back at you, waiting to see what your next move was going to be. You didn’t have one. 

  “...If it makes you feel any better, douchebag deserved it.” The man said a few minutes later, he clearly wasn't expecting the crumpled body on the floor to have tried to seek out help, let alone from a cute girl. He smoothed his hair back. 

   His crappy attempt to seduce you didn't work and nor did his equally crap words of consolation, you were tired. This whole situation was even more tiring. You just wanted to sleep. 

  “I won't tell anyone, if you just drive me home.”

  He clearly wasn't expecting that, you could tell that from the pained look intensifying on his face and his little choked gasp. A few moments later it released like an elastic band snapping and his features set into a smug smirk. A cute girl who wasn’t gonna snitch on him?

  “You’re not going to question the fact that I just hit someone with my car? Is it cause I'm so fucking sex-” 

  You weren’t listening, walking over the heap of a body and around the car into the passenger seat. The contrasting smell of vanilla and cigarettes clouded your senses as you clicked your seatbelt into place - noticing his lack of one in the process.

You hated that your face was burning up as you spoke. “I live a few blocks away.” 

For a while you were sure that this was the first girl Hidan had ever had in his car. It was obvious that he was freaking out, maybe if he didn’t hit people in alleyways and then blamed your silence on the fact that he was so fucking sexy, then maybe he would be able to talk to more.

  He tried to blab to you the whole way to your apartment accidentally making wrong turns to try and extend the length of your stay. He told you about that man in the alley, said something about how he totally fucked him over in some black market shit for auto parts. Said his enemy, - he stressed this word very intensely - Shikamaru probably put him up to it. Nobody messes with Jashin goddamit, I fucking hate that guy. It was a shit justification for murder no doubt, there is never a good reason to hit someone with a car, but you supposed your indifference wasn't any better. 

  You stole a couple glances at him every now and then, when his eyes took a break from darting back and fourth between your thighs, your face and the road. He had a sharp jaw, pretty cheekbones, gelled back hair with small strands escaping every so often - causing him to brush them back when too many tickled his forehead - his lashes were long and his eyes so pretty so in the dim light of the empty city streets. His teeth were straight and sharp canines peeked out whenever he sent you a suggestive smirk.

You also spent an unbelievably long time watching his fingers maneuver the steering wheel, the way his hands flexed with a certain turn. The veins of his forearms travelling underneath his leather jacket pushed up at the elbows, his jeans were all worn out and faded and his shoes looked like they were about to fall apart, it was a big difference in comparison to the well kept state of his handsome car.

  When he finally made it to your complex after running out of roads to take wrong turns down, he looked at you like a lost puppy, rolling the passenger window down to call out to you as you opened the lobby doors. “So I’ll meet you out here tomorrow then? Say, around 9?” 

  You turned to look at him confusedly, inquiring as to why he would be picking you up when you made no reservations to see him again, why would you want to see your accomplice in a murder ever again? But he was already speeding off before you got the chance. 

At least you could finally go to sleep.

The next day he was outside your apartment fifteen past nine, blaring his horn as he maneuvered his upper body to hover out the window of his lovely Jashin. You were nestled on your couch, staring at the blue light of the TV screen in your dark apartment desperately trying to avoid the textbook glowering at you from the coffee table.

‘Cute kitten saved from tree’ was sprawled across the bottom of your television in bold letters as a perky blonde read off the little cue cards in her hand. You’d been watching the news all day, waiting for the red breaking news! To slice across the screen and read out the description of a crippled homeless gambler found dead in an alley, but it never came.

It mad you feel a little angry when you realized his death wasn’t going to be announced and you knew there was no way it hadn’t been discovered yet. Then you sat startled at the realization that you didn’t feel anything towards what happened. That the anger you felt in wanting it to be so desperately displayed on the news was because you hoped you would feel something then.

The sound of Hidans car horn threw you out of your thoughts as you jumped like a frightened cat to the window. Peeling back the curtain you were surprised to see that blood stained blotch on the road with a lavender haired boy peeking out, baring his teeth.

You contemplated staying inside, he didn’t know your apartment number, but you knew that he definitely wouldn’t stop blaring the horn if you didn’t. His hand was undeniably laying flat against the centre of he wheel as he continued to sound out, you heard someone yell for him to fucking shut up. Hidan continued as if he didn’t hear. It kind of flattered you.

You wanted to vomit.

You took the stairs.

It was the beginning of winter when you finally let Hidan fuck you. You were in some parking lot lined with pitch black shops on a Sunday night. Everyone closed early going home to their families, except the two of you of course.

It was odd being with him for this long. One outing turned into another and then another, before you knew it he was picking you up every night at nine -sometimes fifteen minutes passed,- blaring his horn excitedly as he peeked out his car.

He told you it was the perfect place to do donuts, didn’t you want to do donuts? You did. It was the beginning of winter. It was icy. His idea was incredibly fucking stupid. But you agreed because maybe you’d skid on the ice and smash into a store, get crushed by the crumbling debris..

There was little snowflakes hitting the windows of Jashin as you two sat parked in the middle of the deserted lot.

“You ready? Oh you’re gonna love this, babe.”

He grinned as your face heated up at the name, you always got all flustered whenever he said anything like that. It made him feel giddy. His long fingers start Jashin up, moving to clutch the wheel as the car thrums to life.

When he makes the first swerve with his car, he turns his head to watch your body all stiff and frightened. It was funny. He laughed as your face twisted into an even more flustered one - if that was possible. God, you were always such a hard ass at the beginning of the night, but when he dropped you off outside your apartment early into the morning he always made sure to leave you with a little smile on your face. Even now, this early into the night he could see the beginnings of one.

He twisted the wheel again and your body flew to the left, smooshing into the console and the surprised laugh that left your mouth had his guts twisting. He wanted to hear it again. Your walls always fell when he did stupid shit like this. You were kinda fucked up now that he thought about it. Always getting all giggly when you should probably be screaming at him to be more careful for fucks sake! But you never did and he loved that about you. Just as fucked as he was.

“Hey babe, babe! This one’ll be good. Watch, watch.” He gripped the wheel again and grinded his sneaker into the gas, the first skid across asphalt was intentional, but when he tried to regain the reigns of his dark red beast it began to thrash out of his control.

Goddamn ice patch.

The car twisted, screeched and burned into the pavement for a good twenty seconds and when he was sure you should be screaming because I mean come on, that was fucking scary, he heard silence.

As the car came to a complete stop and your body was once again flung against the console, he turned to you. He thinks he was gonna ask if you were okay but he couldn’t remember because the next moment you were grabbing tufts of his gelled hair and sucking his face off.

He loved every second of it. The amount of times he’d tried to get his dick wet with you before was astronomical, but you’d always tell him no and he would pout like a dog. But hey, now you’re shoving your tongue down his throat like a dog so he settled on the idea that good things do come to people who wait.

The reason you decided to do it then was blurry. One moment his car was skidding around the parking lot and you were laughing and thinking of the chance of death and the next second it spat onto your tongue and you realized you didn’t want it anymore.

Like that first time you slid into his car, as you kissed him now you tasted contrasting flavours. Mint and cigarettes. For a moment you thought you were going to pull away, but you felt the sudden need to drink all of it. To somehow understand why you felt like you were burning from the inside.

It was his fault really. Hidan made you feel less tired, if that was a good way to put it. You started looking forward to things after you two met and eventually you actually started to feel a bit more deeply for poor crumpled man in the alley. It felt as if you’re body was being thawed out by this silver haired idiot who was groping for the clasp of your bra underneath your shirt.

So you climbed over the console, fumbling with the side of his chair to pull his seat back as you began to strip off your top in haste. You unbuttoned his jeans and slid down to the space between his leg, choking and drooling all over his cock because when you did you felt all these funny emotions bubbling in your body, you felt alive.

He was a loud mouth when you had his dick down your throat, groaning and saying the dumbest, lewdest shit his sex wired brain could think of. You know how many times he’s thought of this? You feel so good, you feel so good. God this is so good, Jashin probably loves it too... We should fuck on the hood of the car next. Long slender fingers guided your head up and down him as he began to twitch thrust his hips upwards, finally spill into your mouth. Douchebag didn’t let your head go and you felt some of his juices dribble down your tongue.

“Swallow it, swallow it while my dicks still in your mouth... Atta girl, you’re so good. So greedy..”

And you swallowed it all, he hoisted you back onto his lap and pushed your skirt up. He was whispering all this perverted stuff in your ear and your mouth fell open against his neck. Words making you flush fiercely and slowly grind your hips against him. You stopped him when he was beginning to shove your panties down your thighs, though.

For the first time you felt small in comparison to him as you met his eyes. He stopped his movement seeming like he was going to say something too, but you cut him off.

“- Hidan... I’ve never done it before.”

He stares at you all wide eyed before laughing and for a second and you think about getting out of his car and walking home because that’s such a douchebag thing to do, but then he surprises you.

“Me too, I was just about to say.. but I mean it can’t be hard right? Well, I am hard,” he laughed and you found yourself huffing a small giggle at his stupid joke, good mood returning as he continued, “I was just gonna go with what I seen in hentais.” That explained his dirty talk.

It was pretty good for your first time though. Ideally not the best place to have sex, you kept hitting your head and he couldn’t quite get his hips thrusting at a good pace with the confined space, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care because it was Hidan and you think you just might be in love with him.

That’s why you don’t say anything when a few weeks later you see “Shikamaru Nara, infamous street racer found dead in a back alley crash.” flashing across your tv screen.

You don’t comment, just give a little understanding hum when Hidan calls you and tells you he can’t pick you up tonight babe, or for a few nights, Jashin needs some repairs..

It’s why now, as he speeds through the streets recklessly with your bags in the trunk and the sound of sirens ringing in your ears that you feel tears prick your eyes. You wish you could have told him to be more careful, that he shouldn’t have done what he did without planning it. Something, anything.. it’s too late now. But he’s not to blame.

You think it’s your fault, really.

[chasingmyfreedom]

Dear Diary,

(TWs: Injury, Violence, Blood, Knives, Death, Small Suicide reference)

I’m just fucked aren’t I. I don’t have any better way of putting it. I’m just fucked. And Page? If you’re reading this over my shoulder, first of all, stop it. Second of all stop laughing, I know you are. 

I suppose I should explain. 

I’ve learned a few things today. I’ve learned Arabella is stalking again, and she’s being stationed everywhere and anywhere. I’ve learned that she’s rather violent when afraid, borderlining me or my brother but with less malicious intent. I’ve also learned John is incredibly lucky. And I’ve learned I cry more often now. 

I wasn’t even on the mission initially; I was called in when things started to get difficult. There was a stalker, and John didn’t seem to be able to catch them, which was odd. At least, that’s what I understand of the situation. But it took a turn for the worse rather quickly. 

She stabbed him. Just like I told him she would. Just like I knew she would. I have no doubt he was being an ass as usual, but that’s not a good enough reason. Knives are for when your fists won’t solve a problem, not for panicked bursts of thoughtless fear when you know you are the problem. 

... But that’s not really why I’m upset, is it? That’s part of it. Frustration at her for not keeping herself under control. Anger at her daring to say she doesn’t want to hurt people, and yet turning around with a bloodied blade. Frustration at myself for not confiscating that knife sooner, especially knowing what she’s capable of. Frustration at John for not believing me; for forgetting she had a weapon, or whatever possessed him to make him think a cornered creature wouldn’t bare claws. It’s all part of it. ... But I wasn’t just angry. I was afraid. Genuinely afraid. I haven’t felt that particular emotion since the fire, I think. 

No, flipping back through pages, I’ve been afraid but not this afraid. Before I asked I thought it might have been my brother. I know he’s both a rogue kid and a stalker at times, so I’d wondered if he crawled into the Maze and decided he was going to challenge another Hunter kid. If it was him, I would have had even less time. He would have been more precise. More pointed. Different intent. 

... Deadly intent. 

That’s what I’m afraid of, isn’t it? I’m afraid of another person I care about dying. When did that start being something I worried about? People die every day, whether you care about them or not, and yet life goes on. It hurts, but it fades until all you have left is memories. I’ve seen so much death; caused some, watched some, I’ve treated and seen so many injuries from my siblings, even the fucking chili-knife incident and I was never once afraid one of them was going to die. So why was I so afraid this time?! It doesn’t make any sense! I don’t know why. 

I did treat him though. It wasn’t the worse puncture I’ve seen. Specifically placed to not be lethal, just painful. Well, more so specifically aimed to not puncture any organs. If adrenaline kicked in too much, he might not have noticed it, and that would have killed him. Or if she missed and hit a couple inches higher and to the left. Or if her panic had truly taken ahold of her. 

... I need to stop. The point is, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It was deeper than I would have liked, and bled more than I would have liked, but it was fairly straightforward to take care of. The blood will wash. The wound will heal. He’s alright. 

He noticed I was upset though. Not that I was doing a good job hiding it. For a few moments I wanted to strangle Arabella personally and that certainly showed. Even if I had the words then, I couldn’t have told him why I was so angry. I still don’t know every reason, but I should have been more careful. He knows I care about him in some facet, but I don’t know how to tell him how much. So, of course, naturally, I had to be flirtatiously menacing. Because that’s the proper time, obviously. It wasn’t the time, but it calmed me down. He was laughing. It obviously hurt, but he was.  

But... That’s why I’m screwed. There’s not good endings to this. Yes, the End Mother has some grip on him, but if something doesn’t change, it’s not strong enough. I don’t even know if I want him to change. I love him as he is. He doesn’t have to. 

Something’s... clicked. I think... It feels... odd in my brain. It’s so hard to write. I don’t know the right words to use. It’s not... floaty or soft. It’s almost... resolute? Assured? Doting? Adoring? No... Words aren’t... working. I... care too much about someone who’s either going to die or be the death of me. I don’t... want to lose him. I’ve lost my brother to the Hunter I’m fairly certain. I lost the one other sibling I cared about to another of His ancestors. I could have lost John to a stalker that frankly could have offed herself if I didn’t get to her first. Alex and Maddie give me no end of worries... I wanted to this connected to people. I wanted to learn. Why does it hurt so much? 

...

I have to tell him. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t. But I want to so badly. I just want to spend time with him. Perhaps it’s my brain exaggerating things, but... It feels like the first few weeks after the fire. I just wanted to be around my brother. To see him. To know he was there. It feels the same, just... slightly different. It’s the same kind of feeling, at least, I think. It’s the feeling of wanting to be around someone, to occupy the same space to prove they still exist, to prove it’s not just imagination. 

I’ll have to come up with some excuse for the parents. I’m not spending a day away from that treehouse. The feeling will pass faster if I feed it. I have to sate it before I do something impulsive. Something reckless. I hate how reckless I’m getting. 

[...]

Wait, did I...? 

Fuck. I love him. 

I’m so screwed. 

[rvnas]

                ✈️ — ⌜   hirai   momo   ,   cis   female,   she/her⌟  ↝    have   you   heard   ?   it   seems   like   the   heir   of   the   ITO   was   very   close   to   liam   yu   too   .   they   go   by   RUNA   and   they   were   liam's   BAD   INFLUENCE   .   their   network   is   of   95M   and   they’re   only   TWENTY-THREE   …   what   a   burden   it   must   be   .   i   heard   they   can   be   very   MESMERIZING   and   DEVOTED   .   but   these   last   few   months   ,   their   VOLATILE   and   SELFISH   personality   has   been   showing   more   .   the   media   is   sure   having   a   filled   day   with   them   !    i   hope   this   road   trip   with   friends   will   help   them   .   did   you   know   that   POSING   ON   THE   HOOD   OF   SOMEONE   ELSE’S   MASERATI   ,   13   MISSED   CALLS   FROM   HOME   ,   GLITTER   RIMMING   TIRED   EYES   AND   BROKEN   MIRRORS   really   show   their   true   persona  ?   maybe   liam   was   the   only   one   who   knew   that    ...  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     quick  stats  !

full  name  :   haruna   ito   .

nickname(s)  :   runa   ,   ru   .

age   :   twenty-three   .

zodiac  :   aquarius   sun   ,   aries   moon   (  click   !  )

spoken   languages   :   japanese   ,   korean   ,   mandarin   ,   french   &   english   .     

sexuality  :   bisexual   .

alignment   :   chaotic   neutral   .

pinterest   :   (   click   !   )  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     backstory  !    (  tw  :  death   ,   parental   neglect   &   drug   /   alcohol   use  )

the   daughter   of   the   ceo   to   a   real   estate   &    construction   conglomerate   and   his   high   school   sweetheart   turned   interior    designer   wife   ,    runa   ito   was   born   into   money   .   they   lived   in   tokyo   ,   the   same   city   her   grandfather   had   originally   started   his   company   back   in   the   40′s   ,   and   although   ito   property   group   had   accumulated   massive   wealth   and   international   business   by   the   time   runa   was   born   ,   her   parents   wanted   to   start   their   family   where   it   all   began   .

she   doesn’t   remember   much   about   her   early   life   —   a   blur   of   employees   and   family   members   alike   ,   their   faces   often   melting   into   one   ,   as   everyone   had    a   hand   in   raising   the   young   girl   .   her   father   was   a   busy   man   ,   after   all   ,   the   parent   who   paid   the   most   attention   to   young   runa   being   her   mother   .   there’s   not   much   runa   will   remember   about   her   childhood   in   japan   but   the   lullaby   the   woman   used   to   sing   to   her   at   night   is   something   she’ll   carry   with   her   for   the   rest   of   her   life   .

a   few   months   after   runa   turned   nine   is   when   her   memories   seem   to   begin   ,   spearheaded   by   the   tragic   death   of   her   mother   .   a   heart   attack   in   the   middle   of   the   day   ,   sudden   and   unexpected   .   it   was   runa   that   found   her   on   the   floor   in   the   garden   ,   the   scent   of   roses   that   had   blossomed   under   the   woman’s   gentle   care   thick   and   sweet   .   she   was   frozen   in   place   until   the   paramedics   arrived   ,   unmoving   even   after   her   father   broke   down   in   tears   right   in   front   of   her   ,   so   still   that   the   paramedics   were   concerned   enough   they   carted   her   off   to   the  hospital   .   shock   .   it   was   shock   ,   she’d   later   learn   ,   but   runa   didn’t   think   that   word   was   big   enough   to   describe   the   way   it   felt   like   something   inside   of   herself   had   passed   along   with   her   mother   .

by   the   time   she’s   eleven   everything   had   changed   .   following   the   death   of   his   wife   ,   her   father   had   relocated   them   to   new   york   city   ,   something   the   media   would   call   a   fresh   start   but   runa   knew   was   bigger   than   that   .   he   was   running   away   from   his   grief   ,   and   although   the   man   would   never   be   the   same   he   still   managed   to   remarry   ,   now   heading   ito   property   group   in   booming   downtown   manhattan   .   two   years   later   the   couple   celebrates   the   birth   of   a   beautiful   baby   girl   azumi   ,   the   only   thing   runa   is   grateful   for   since   her   old   life   in   tokyo   .

adjusting   to   life   in   new   york   wasn’t   easy   for   runa   .   she   had   never   been   a   difficult   child    ,   but   unresolved   emotions   have   her   feeling   like   a   time   bomb   with   no   control   of   when   or   how   she’s   going   to   explode   .   the   start   of   her   teenage   years   are   marred   by   schoolyard   fights   ,    stealing   from   convenience   stores   ,   talking   back   to   adults   for   no   good   reason   .   she   didn’t   mean   to   get   into   trouble   ,   she   really   didn’t   ,   but   she   had   no   idea   what   to   do   with   all   the   hurt   inside   her   .   at   home   she   felt   like   a   stranger   —   like   she   was   just   a   guest   watching   someone’s   family   from   the   outside   .   when   her   stepmother   voiced   concerns   over   runa’s   behavior   and   her   possible   involvement   in   azumi’s   development   runa   was   branded   a   bad   influence   before   she   was   even   fifteen   years   old   .   

her   father   hadn’t   stuck   up   for   her   ,   the   man   too   busy   to   notice   his   daughter’s   suffering   or   perhaps   too   in   denial   about   his   own   to   even   acknowledge   the   way   life   was  unfolding   inside   his   household   .   he   was   distant   at   best    and   straight   up   absent   at   his   worst   ,   leaving   runa’s   stepmother   to   raise   azumi   all   on   her   own   .   the   ito’s   might   have   looked   picturesque   from   the   outside   ,   but   unbeknownst   to   the   public   eye   the   family   was   imploding   .   her   father’s   second   marriage   was   hanging   by   a   thin   thread   .   he   resented   his   second   wife   for   not   living   up   to   a   woman   who   had   been   dead   for   over   five   years   now   ,   and   in   turn   the   woman   resented   runa   for   reminding   her   of   the   person   she’d   never   live   up   to   .   the   only   control   her   stepmother   had   of   her   own   life   was   spent   making   runa   out   to   be   a   threat   to   the   safety   of   her   actual   daughter   ,   not   caring   or   noticing   the   love   and   fondness   runa   and   azumi   had   for   each   other   .

if   you   hear   something   enough   times   ,   it’s   only   natural   you   start   to   believe   it   ,   that   you’d   accept   it   as   a   truth   .   seventeen   years   old   and   runa   becomes   exactly   who   she’d   been   made   out   to   be   —   bad   .   in   a   way   it’s   almost   a   comfort   .   that   overwhelming   sensation   of   guilt   that   used   to   choke   her   after   every   outburst   was   slowly   lifted   as   she   accepted   there   was   no   use   in   fighting   to   be   good   if   no   one   believed   it   .   she   must   have   been   born   this   way   ,   every   fuck   up   a   marker   of   her   predetermined   character   .   she’d   given   up   control   ,   and   as   much   as   runa   tried   to   make   herself   believe   it   wasn’t   her   fault   ,   that   she   couldn’t   change   who   she   was   deep   down   inside   ,   she   knew   the   truth   .   she   was   taking   the   easy   way   out   .   better   to   be   hated   by   the   people   who   were   supposed   to   love   her   unconditionally   than   to   acknowledge   she   deserved   better   .   it   was   easier   to   be   reckless   and   selfish   ,   every   stunt   she   pulls   a   welcome   distraction   from   how   empty   all   the   collective   abandonment   in   her   life   had   left   her   .  

she   surrounds   herself   with   people   she  decides   are   reflections   of   herself   .   hollow   ,   impulsive   people   with   little   regards   to   consequence   .   she   gets   drunk   ,   she   gets   high   ,   she   shoplifts   things   she   could   buy   without   blinking   just   for   that   temporary   thrill   .   she   says   she’ll   try   anything   once   ,   danger   be   damned   ,   her   own   life   be   damned   .   she   shows   up   to   her   father’s   business   events   long   after   he   stops   inviting   her   ,   makes   a   show   for   the   press   when   she   openly   flirts   with   business   in   front   of   their   wives   ,   when   she   downs   whiskey   sours   at   the   bar   snap   chatting   the   whole   thing   ,   when   she   publicly   denounces   the   ito   name   to   anyone   who   stops   and   listens   .   a   whole   year   of   paying   off   cops   to   keep   runa’s   records   clean   (   for   the   sake   of   the   family   business   ,   never   for   her   )   ,   of   opening   up   about   his   daughter’s   troubled   mind   (   not   for   her   own   betterment   but   to   save   stock   prices   from   dropping   too   low   )   ,   of   hiring   a   revolving   door   of   nannies   to   keep   azumi   far   out   of   runa’s   orbit   .   the   ito’s   wait   until   she   turns   eighteen   to   properly   kick   runa   out   ,   not    bothering   to   threaten   cutting   her   off   from   her   trust   fund   because   they   wanted   her   gone   that   desperately   .

and   runa’s   happy   to   go   .   she’s   got   access   to   the   penthouse   of   every   building   her   father   owns   ,   bouncing   from   one   place   to   the   next   as   she   inevitably   does   something   to   get   herself   kicked   out   .   property   damage   ,   noise   complaints   ,   letting   just   about   anyone   she   meets   on   a   night   out   practically   move  in   rent   free   —   the   list   is   a   long   one   .   it’s   then   when   she   meets   liam   ,   and   he   quickly   becomes   the   light   at   the   end   of    a   dark   tunnel   runa   hadn’t   even   realized   she   was   in   ,   because   he’s   not   like   anyone   else   in   her   life   .   he   sees   her   .   past   all   the   fuck   ups   he   sees   her   ,   sees   that   she’s   more   than   the   unstable   party   girl   the   press   has   made   her   out   to   be   ,   that   she’s   not   the   villain   her   family   needs   her   to   be   in   order   to   feel   better   about   the   fact   that   they’d   failed   her   .   he   was   the   first   in   a   long   time   to   recognize   any   of   it   and   she   has   no   idea   what   to   do   about   it   .

 for   a   little   while   he   makes   her   a   better   person   ,   or   at   least   want   to   try   to   be   one   .   the   light   liam   radiates   towards   anyone   in   his   life   isn’t   lost   on   her   ,   but   very   quickly   runa   realizes   just   how   uncomfortable   she   is   feeling   that   warmth   ,   the   feeling   so   unfamiliar   she’s   terrified   to   bask   in   it   too   long   .   her   first   instinct   is   to   reject   it   ,   to   reject   him   and   the   friendship   he’s   offering   her   ,   to   run   as   far   away   as   she   can   from   all   of   it   .   but   she’s   selfish   ,   and   more   than   that   she’s   lonely   ,   devastatingly   lonely   that   the   idea   of   cutting   out   the   one   friend   she   really   had   was   more   than   she   knew   she   could   take   .   she   does   the   next   best   thing   —   she   pulls   him   into   her   darkness   .   it   wasn’t   too   hard   of   a   feat   to   influence   someone   who   was   used   to   having   fun   ,   especially   when   that   someone   wasn’t   one   who   liked   saying   the   word   no   whenever   someone   had   a   crazy   idea   .   liam   already   had   his   feet   in   the   water   when   it   came   to   being   spontaneous   .   all   runa   was   doing   was   pulling   him   towards   the   deep    end   more   and   more   everyday   .

it’s   a   manipulative   thing   to   put   someone   you   love   in   danger   ,   to   ask   for   companionship   on   a   stupid   stunt   because   she   knew   he’d   say   yes   if   she   said   she   needed   it   ,   to   pretend   that   maybe   just   maybe   liam   was   the   same   as   her   and   she   really   wasn’t   influencing   him   at   all   but   opening   his   eyes   to   bigger   and   better   possibilities   .   she   knew   it   ,    every   minute   of   the   day   she   knew   it   ,   but   it   wasn’t   enough   to   ever   make   her   stop   .   he   gave   her   the   acceptance   she’d   never   gotten   at   home   and   she   gave   him   excitement   but   that   didn’t   make   it   alright   .   when   she   gets   the   news   he’s   dead   ,   she’s   back   in   the   garden   of   her   childhood   home   all   over   again   .   it   doesn’t   make   any   sense   at   all   ,   and   runa   refused   to   let   it   ,   picking   fights   with   anyone   who   dared   utter   he   was   in   a   better   place   .   there   was   no   room   in   her   heart   for   so   many   emotions   ,   so   she   does   what   she   can   to   drown   them   out   ,   quiet   and   out   of   the   public   for   the   first   time   in   years   because   of   how   hard   she’s   self   medicating   .   months   go   by   before   her   step   mother   reaches   out   .   azumi   has   a   ballet   recital   on   sunday   is   all   the   voicemail   says   ,   but   those   seven   words   are   enough   to   draw   runa   out   ,   to   get   her   to   come   home   for   the   first   time   since   they’d   kicked   her   out   .  

whatever   tiny   hope   runa   had   that   her   family   had   been   concerned   with   her   well-being   was   shattered   when   she   learns   the   call   had   been   a   trick   ,   a   false   pretense   as   requested   by   her   father   .   he   had   a   proposition   for   his   oldest   daughter   which   was   really   more   of   an   ultimatum   —   runa   had   one   year   .   one   year   to   either   get   her   life   together   and   start   working   under   his  iron   fist   as   a   director   at   ito   property   group   or   be   excluded   from   his   will   and   properly   disowned   ,   never   allowed   to   be   more   than   ten   miles   from   her   younger   sister   as   long   as   she   was   a   minor   .   it   wasn’t   long   after   her   father’s   proclamation   that   runa   gets   the   invitation   to   go   on   the   road   trip   .   she   doesn’t   think   she   cares   ,   swears   she’s   not   interested   in   remembering   liam   in   the   company   of   people   who   no   doubt   had   less   than   kind   things   to   say   about   the   girl   that   was   infamous   for   being   the   permanent   devil   on   a   dead   man’s   shoulder   ,   but   a   bottle   of   the   expensive   stuff   all   to   herself   later   that   night   and   she’s   saying   yes   ,   she’s   coming   ,   because   despite   everything   she’s   sworn   is   true   about   herself   and   about   how   she   feels   she   needs   this   trip   more   than   she’d   ever   admit   .                                                                             

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     personality  +  tidbits  !

aha   ...   where   oh   where   to   begin   JSBDJWDBJW   i   feel   like   hot   mess   it   the   perfect   and   easiest   way   to   describe   her   💔😔   not   to   b   all   she’s   complicated   but   !   she’s   complicated   !!!

on   one   hand   she’s   a   lot   of   fun   ,   and   i   mean   a   LOT   like   in   a   room   full   of   people   it’s   easy   to   feel   drawn   to    her   bc   she’s   got   an   exciting   kind   of   energy   surrounding   her   .  she’s   that   type   of   person   that   you   know   you’re   gonna   have   fun   with   no   matter   what   you   guys   do   even   if   you   have   no   idea    what   kind   of   shenanigans   to   expect   because   she’s   always   doing   something   new   and   not   predictable   .   

on   the   other    hand   ?    yea   she’s   kinda   fucking   crazy   not   2   get   all   lana   del   rey   but   SJDBWJBDJWBJWD   runa   has   a   concerning   lack   of   care   for   her   own   health   and   safety   so   in   turn   she’s   not   too   concerned   abt   anyone’s   else’s   health   and   safety   ,   either   /:   she’s   just   following   the   traumatized   girl   handbook   doing   reckless   stuff   just   to   feel   something   and   all   that   jazz   it’s   all   fun   and   games   until   u   have   a   near   death   experience   jumping   off   a   yacht   super   wasted   at   a   billionaire’s   party   ...   and   even   then   it’s   still   fun   and   games   if   ur    runa   <3

mommy   issues   ?   yup   ..   daddy   issues   ?   yup   again   baby   we   got   two   for   two   😭   runa’s   desire   to   be   nurtured  and  have   someone   hold   her   face   and   say   i   care   abt   u   versus   her   attraction   to   ppl   who   literally   couldn’t   tell   u   if   she’s   happy   or   sad   fight   to   the   death   !!!   yes   she   wants   love   and   acceptance   yes   she’s   gonna   ruin   any   chance   she   has   at   getting   that   by   pushing   ppl   away   or   purposely   fucking   up   so   they   just   give  up   on   her   the   way   her   dad   and   stepmom   did   .   literally   she’s   like   i   want   to   be   loved   no   i   don’t   yes   i   do   .   don’t   .   yea   <3333 

idk   if   any   of   you   have   ever   met   an   aquarius   that   literally   makes   no   damn   sense   and   ur   just   like   what   universe   do   u   live   on   bc   it’s   impossible   to   try   and   plan   something   with   them   and   when   they   do   finally   message   u   back   it’s   asking   u   to   come   out   to   a   club   at   2   am   when   ur   already   in   ur   pajamas   but   that’s   runa   ...   except   if   u   get   out   of   bed   and   finally   show   up   to   the   club   she’s   already   gone   SJDBWJDBJWD

she’s   moody   😔   one   minute   she   can   be   having   the   time   of   her   life   and   she’s   being   really   open   and   fun   and   the   next   she   can   just   totally   shut   down   and   get   really   cold   and   bitchy   or   really   angry   and   it’s   /:   truly   not   a   good   time   !   she   really   isn’t   a   bad   person   but   she   DOES   make   lots   of   mistakes   and   if   you’ve   got   a   negative   opinion   about   her   she’s   not   going   out   of   her   way   to   change   it   or   prove   u   wrong   ,   in   fact   she’s   way   more   likely   to   prove   u   right   bc   that’s   the   easy   way   out  

super   super   devoted   to   people   she   cares   about   !   even   if   she’s   not   open   about   the   fact   that   she   cares   you’ll   know   bc   if   u   ask   her   to   do   something   or   go   someplace   she’ll   do   it   no   questions   asked   

does   anyone   rmr   that   one   tweet   where   it’s   like   “   hmu   if   ur   toxic   im   trying   to   have   a   crazy   summer   “   runa   is   both   the   person   tweeting   and   the   toxic   person   they’re   looking   for   .   duality   <3

flirts   as   easy   as   breathing   but   it   legit   means   ...   nothing   like   she’ll   just   mindlessly   flirt   her   way   through   life   just   bc   she   can   !   uses   her   pretty   privilege   for   free   stuff   despite   being   rich   .   has   never   been   in   a   serious   or   a   committed   relationship   and   she’s   not   abt   to   start   now   she’s   got   mega   abandonment   issues   to   work   on   first   </3333   is   always   down   for   a   good   time   though   runa   believes   in   whore   rights   😏😏

dresses   like   an   e   girl   even   though   she   legit   doesn’t   know   wtf   that   is   ...

can’t   stand   the   sight   /   smell   of   roses   bc   they   remind   her   of   her   mom   ): 

likes   to   make   very   large   donations   in   her   father’s   name   to   really   progressive   organizations   to   piss   off   all   the   boomer   shareholders   of   his   company   (:

has   never   used   🥺   this   emoji   in   an   not   ironic   way   her   whole   life   i   told   u   guys   she’s   CRAZY   ...   

loves   to   sweet   talk   ppl   into   getting   into   doing   wild   stuff   if   she   hits   u   up   with   a   wyd   text   IGNORE   her   unless   u   wanna   end   the   night   with   a   broken   wrist   or   a   matching   ass   tattoo    ...

who   was   that   one   twitter   girl   that   stole   someone’s   hamster   at   a   party   i   can’t   rmr   her   name   but   /:   that’s   runa   SJDJWBDWJBDJW   

lies   abt   the   randomest   things   sometimes   for   literally   no   reason   like   someone   can   be   like   hi   im   amy   (:   and   she’ll   be   like   aw   that   was   my   grandma’s   name   like   no   it   wasn’t   don’t   ask   me   why   she’s   like   that   ...       

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     wanted  connections  !  (  all  open  to  all  genders  )

okay   i   was   gonna   type   a   bunch   of   bullets   here   but   this   intro   is   literally   already   disgustingly   long   and   LATE   im   .   so   embarrassed   ...   i’m   seriously   down   for   anything   though   like   platonic   romantic   wholesome   angsty   enemies   old   family   friends   a   i   keep   calling   ur   mom   a   milf   and   u    hate   it   connection   ...   whatever   it   may   be   i’m   open   🥺  

truly   i   hate   this   life   i   wrote   a   novel   for   NO   good   reason   ...   if   ur   like   me   &   prefer   discord   for   plotting   u   can   add   me   @   glo lovecore ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172   and   we   can   plot   there   💖 💖 💖   if   discord   isn’t   ur   jam   though   we   can   plot   via   tumblr   ims   im   just   gonna   be   harder   to   reach   that   way   so   it   might   take   a   little   longer   🥺   im   sosososo   excited   to   be   here   &   finally   write   with   u   all   i’m   sorry   this   intro   took   forever   !!!!    

[fameplagued]

❛ harry styles, 21, cismale, he/him ❜ was that EZRA WARD i just saw hurrying across the quad? you’d think they would know what happens when a JUNIOR is late to class. then again, the MUSIC MAJOR has been known to be pretty HEDONISTIC. maybe being so CHARISMATIC helps keep them out of trouble. i heard they aren’t an angel, though, and that they are BISEXUAL and love RISKY/PUBLIC SEX + MAKING AMATEUR PORN. 

ayyye friends, i’m happy to be here! i’m g, here to introduce my ugly son, he’s a mix of a few different characters i’ve played before but never quite like this so i’m hype :~) 

VISAGE: HARRY STYLES (MOSTLY CIRCA LATE 2014 & 2015 bc long hair)

VOICE-CLAIM (SPEAKING ACCENT & SINGING): HARRY STYLES

OTHER KINKS: CHOKING, ORGASM CONTROL/DENIAL, BEGGING, WORSHIP (REC)(GIV), PUNISHMENT + REWARD, ANAL, SPANKING, MARKING, BITING, HAIR PULLING, RIMMING (REC)(GIV), DADDY KINK, SIZE DIFFERENCE, VOYEURISM,  CLOTHES ON, GROUP SEX, SEXUAL PAIN, ORDERS (REC)(GIV), 

(ASK ABOUT OTHERS)

CANON TATTOOS (*MOSTLY)

born / raised just outside of manchester, england. comes from a wealthy yet extremely neglectful upbringing. his mother is english, his father is american, meaning since he was born in england, he’s of of dual citizenship. his family moved to his father’s home state of pennsylvania when he was 14, which is when he first starter his youtube channel

ok so a big thing is that ezra’s slow but currently steady rise to fame within the music industry has been alarmingly quick and that fact has shaped a lot of his personality; think justin bieber or shawn mendes with their gaining an initial fanbase and then a loyal following via starting out on youtube / other social media outlets as a young teenager, only with a much messier, Rockstar™ persona and you have ezra ward

there’s a pretty distinct difference between the version of himself that much of his dedicated fanbase perceptions are based on, and the Real Him. in the media he’s gradually becoming more of a household name for being a musician with a mostly positive message, an inclusive fanbase, a charming personality and being an all around humble, approachable, likable young guy

in his personal life, things are a bit,, different. he’s a hedonist, through and through, in that his pursuit of pleasure ranks far above everything else on his priority list. he’s also extremely sybaritic meaning crazy self indulgent when it comes to luxury, and in his late teens when he had the world at his fingertips, it was all about having the Best everything (mini bars, expensive cars, the good champagne, n private planes- ok i’ll shut up now no one needs my bad 1d references rn)

so basically he spent ages 17-19 as a touring musician after forming a backing band built of some his closest friends from high school, all the while earning his associates in arts in music through an online program; balancing social media as a full time job, getting to perform live in any kind of larger capacity, and still doing well in college posed quite a challenge, especially as he became more focused on the rockstar lifestyle and less on school

still, he never stopped wanting to learn as much as he possibly could about music, determined to become a master of his craft, so he earned his degree and kept hungry for knowledge. after a near-overdose the summer after he turned 19 however, his parents and their what felt to him like faux-concern at the time eventually talked him into putting touring and gaining celebrity status on the back burner for a while

in exchange for a proposed change in habits and lifestyle, they offered to pay for him to apply for and attend the prestigious university of his choice so he could get his bachelor’s degree in music theory, something he agreed to after heavy deliberation, and only after he had a personal realization about just how much the limelight was getting to him, the brighter it became did he decide it was for the best that he stepped back from it to focus on school

choosing college over touring /  growing the band’s popularity cost him a few members of his backing band / friends who had no interest in ‘waiting around for him to finish getting some stupid degree’ and went on to pursue other projects, which meant he no longer had the same support system in that group of friends that he’d become so used to, and that lead him to seek out a new one almost as soon as he was enrolled at northridge as a freshman: he immediately pledged omega pi  (bc we all know what a frat boy harry looked like at 19, hello, i’m not passing that up), finding that he fit right in with its reputation for being full of guys who were heavily focused on partying, and now that he’s a junior he’s in charge of marketing & recruitment :~)

his appetite for pleasure & luxury coupled with still considering himself a rich, successful musician and just being an incredibly sexually fueled person in general makes for a really delicious and dangerous mix ngl and so far in his 21 short years he’s lived a pretty Wildt life, even while at college

he hasn’t released anything music-wise for the couple of years he’s been at university, but he wants 22 (he turns that soon hi he’s an aquarius ass bitch) to be the year that changes, where he delves back into it and truly becomes the artist he was ~destined to be~ or whateva

frequently considers whether or not he made the right choice in essentially choosing college over being an artist / celebrity for the time being, and wonders if dropping out would be the better option (esp bc he thinks he only has so much Time anyway, more info below), but always talks himself out of it

is Firmly Set on the idea he’s going to be part of the 27 club (my boi is already almost 22 like :/ excuse u sir, snap out of that? someone give him a reason to live lmfao no i’m kidding i promise)

has an underlying hopelessly romantic side / has had a lot of either toxic or very intense relationships / has hurt & been hurt by a lot of people, so he has an extreme aversion to emotional attachment and falling in love / prefers casual sex / thinks he’ll never have a long term relationship again (yikes ik like hi get some therapy babe)

he’s reckless, impulsive, can be incredibly domineering, drinks too much, fucks too much (if that’s possible), and (drugs tw) does way too much coke for fun and too much adderall for studying, definitely every bit the ~tortured artist~ even though most of his issues are rooted in like, mommy/daddy issues and (homophobia tw) knowing his parents wouldn’t accept or support him any longer if they knew that he was bisexual

to sum it all up, he’s here for a good time, not a long time, and while he is here, he wants to learn all that he possibly can about music because to him it’s basically the meaning of life ok

that’s?? pretty much all i have for now, i will probably update this again at some point but i don’t want to make it too long because i definitely want to develop him within this group as i go along and besides it was just TIME for me to get something up

i’ll have a connections page up soon but some ideas off the top of my head are: best friends (platonic or otherwise), fwb, exes on good or bad terms, someone who also grew up in pennsylvania / maybe knows him from high school?, enemies w/ benefits, hookups via sorority/frat parties, professors he’s earned ~extra credit~ with or whateva, someone who was a fan before he came to northridge but now they lowkey hate him, someone who’s still a fan, fwb ft. one-sided crush, classmates, etc ! 

[burnededens]

   ( avan jogia, trans male, he/him, assassin’s creed: syndicate ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, jacob frye, after not surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like jacob "jake” fowles, a twenty-five year-old bartender at dragon’s breath brewery & fighter at the ring, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as charming as you are reckless, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : neutral through and through. ( hylia gets assassin’s creed on main )

   SO FUN FACT - I have been wanting to write this character in this group for months and it is absolutely a crime that it took me this long to pick him up but here we FINALLY are ! I’m genuinely shocked he’s the first Assassin’s Creed character here because I personally think all of the characters are phenomenal and it was either gonna be this character or the protagonist from two games before ( Edward Kenway of Black Flag ) but I have a slightly greater preference towards Jacob so !! Behold the living embodiment of chaotic good !! Obvious tws for death , violence , and murder under the cut because this is a series about assassins , but also gang stuff ( and a very small bullying mention in the post-snap portion ) too. I hope this is easy to understand !! 

BEFORE THE SNAP  /  J A C O B   F R Y E .

S’OKAY again I will always try and explain the games’ history and Syndicate’s specific plotline in the simplest of ways - and especially because AC can get very confusing very fast. Thankfully Syndicate is one of the more straightforward entries , but before I get into that , I have to give a basic rundown of the lore since... it will not make sense if you haven’t played any of the games.

A long long long time ago , there were these people called the Isu , and the Isu crafted something that the AC franchise refers to as Pieces of Eden. The Pieces of Eden ultimately has access to control other living beings , and they were extremely powerful.

Flash forward a little bit where you have two forces - the Knights’ Templar and the Assassin Order/Brotherhood - that struggled for these Pieces of Eden for two very different reasons.

The Templars valued order and wanted to use them to control others to achieve a utopia - believing that human corruption & essentially free will were what caused most evils of the world.

The Assassins valued freedom & wanted to preserve the free will of the world , believing that control would do them no good and a mutual understanding under this freedom would be what created a utopia.

So basically , Templars wanted peace via control and Assassins wanted peace via freedom.

Templars wanted the Pieces of Eden to control , and the Assassins knew this was Not Good and often sought to keep the Pieces the fuck away from the Templars ( at least , that’s always how I saw it. )

Of course , because we’re now on like ten main games and seventeen spin-off games it’s OBVIOUSLY way more complicated than that , just that’s the most nutshell way to explain everything. That being said , let’s jump more into Jacob & Syndicate. 

SO JACOB. Jacob is one of the two protagonists of Syndicate , the younger twin to the other protagonist , his sister Evie. They were born in Crawley , raised by their Assassin father , but while Evie was always more . . . into the Brotherhood and assassin ideals , Jacob always was more of a rebel & a free spirit. But nevertheless , he grew up an Assassin like she.

Flash forward years later where the main plot of Syndicate starts , during the Industrial Revolution in 1868 , where the twins are set on heading to London , which is pretty much entirely under control of the Templars ( namely Crawford Starrick and his network ) & their syndicates ( ha ha hA ).

This . . . is sort of where Jacob & Evie separate in terms of goals - Evie’s well-aware of the Pieces of Eden and aims to collect them before the Templars do. However , Jacob’s more so intent on taking down Templars & liberating London from their control. He goes as far as to even starting a gang with his sister - known as the Rooks - to combat the Templar-controlled gang that has London’s boroughs in its grasp known as the Blighters. 

Evie’s basically like “okay we’re going to collect the Pieces of Eden so the templars don’t have them bc Starrick will be more powerful if he has them” but Jacob says to her “fUCK YOU I’M A MAN WHO’S GONNA FREE THE PEOPLE” and. Yeah.

Throughout the game , Jacob’s the twin that exhibits a more impulsive , reckless , yet well-meaning approach to problems - and that sorta kinda . . . means that when he solves problems , he also accidentally makes other problems , and his sister has to clean them up because hey , you killed this Templar leader and angered a bunch of Blighters and we are fucked and Jacob can’t really. Grasp that because he’s too focused on freeing London NOW and taking out Templars NOW and [ Sleeping With Sirens vc ] do it NOW and remember deal with it LATER.

There’s a few cases where Jacob has even so ( both unintentionally and intentionally ) teamed up with Templars because he thought they could help him accomplish his goals in taking London back from them.

He teamed up with Pearl Attaway ( a businesswoman who controlled most of London’s transport and wanted basically a monopoly ) and didn’t find out until later that she was a Templar and had to assassinate her since she was the exact type of controller he wanted to rid London of

But also he struck a deal with Maxwell Roth ( basically a Blighter gang leader who had a shitton of power ) to work with him - but Maxwell saw this as let’s cause as much chaos as possible and fuck the consequences where Jacob saw it as more let’s fix problems by any means necessary and he had to shut down the deal when he saw Roth really just . . . didn’t give a fuck about anyone , including innocents. Jacob’s whole goal was to free and protect the innocents , he just didn’t care how as long as nobody got hurt.

AND THAT’S HONESTLY WHAT I LOVE SM ABOUT JACOB LIKE ... Jacob. Is the epitome of chaotic good like he cares so much about people and protecting the innocents & saving them from control that yeah he doesn’t really . . . consider the consequences of his actions especially when his actions are so chaotic but his primary goal is to free the people of London by taking down Templars and he doesn’t give a fuck how he’s going to do it , he just operates on his code of making sure none of the good people get hurt and the bad guys go down. 

Eventually in the game he did come to realize the errors in his own work and way of thinking - he didn’t think much of the consequences , and therefore caused more of a wreckage than he aimed for. He loved the idea of freedom , but drew the line at absolute careless anarchy like Roth.

Basically be a REBEL not an ASSHOLE.

I love this kid tho like he’s so witty and rebellious and chaotic but also good-hearted and will still help even tho he might complain a lot about it ( looks at Abberline and Darwin ) and he !! He honestly acts before he thinks but I find those characters so refreshing esp bc he’s very emotional and adamant about acting on how he feels and his ideals and it’s honestly so. Idk I really like that about him.

He’s also canonically bisexual and that is something I will never shut up about but if you fucking even tHINK ABOUT ROMANTICIZING ROTH & JACOB’S RELATIONSHIP ( like it’s p much confirmed Roth had a thing 4 Jacob but it’s not. That’s not a Good Thing ) I will personally throw some hands with you. 

...Jacob and Ned however-

SPARE NED?? SPARE NED MA’AM??? 

But honestly anyway TLDR; Jacob is a Victorian chaos-bringer who doesn’t really think much about the shit he does but has a heart of gold he’s just. He’s A Lot. He’s a lil bitch but a good kind of lil bitch.

ALSO ALSO ALSO I AM,,,, not exactly entirely sure where I’m pulling Jacob yet like I could pull him from the end of Syndicate’s main story but also there’s the Jack the Ripper DLC which makes me... feel things, but Jacob’s also significantly older than and a good bit of that DLC’s a bit triggering - long story short, we love and will protect Jacob Frye with our entire lives. 

AFTER THE SNAP  / J A K E   F O W L E S .

So PERSONALITY WISE - Jake isn’t much different from his past self ; the only thing is he never grew up with his twin sister , raised an only child , and because Jacob & Evie are meant to balance each other out , he essentially grew up without an entire part of him he isn’t even aware of.

He was adopted - adopted by a working-class family from London that moved to Castle Town , and that was where Jake was raised.

Now , he was always a bit of a rebel. Always a problem child from the start. There were hundreds and hundreds of cases where he was reported either talking back to teachers , misbehaving in class , sometimes even getting into fights with other kids whether it be they were picking on him or someone else.

And he always liked the thrill of being that rebel - being that miscreant that earned a reputation ; never a mean person , never a bad dude , just somebody who . . . acted out. Acted out for whatever reason - mainly because he never liked the idea of obeying or because he taught the rules were stupid or because the rules meant some people were gonna get inconvenienced. Like , if you see someone getting bullied , why just tell an adult where you can solve the problem right then and there and sock the bully in the jaw ??

That was it. That was Jake’s philosophy.

His parents sent him to multiple hobby & art & educational camps & stuff to try and see if he could find some sort of hobby that would sorta get him out of this ‘problem child’ thing - but it never really worked. He always either got sent home earlier or was asked to never come back because hey , you can’t start a rebellion in the boys’ cabin because you didn’t like the way one of the counselors instructed you about knot tying. 

Never worked out , his parents thought he was smart and would make a brilliant lawyer or doctor or something - but nope , he graduated high school , attempted college but dropped out after two years , and when his parents kicked him out , he crashed with a few friends and made a living on odd jobs before he scored working as a bartender at Dragon’s Breath.

And also . . . both fighting at The Ring and also underground matches for some coin.

Yeah. 

It’s sorta-kinda through this he ALSO became aware of the other people who had to resort to means like this to survive - eventually starting his own gang of people who operated on sorta-kinda Robin Hood like terms - protect the less fortunate , combat the gangs who caused way more problems than he’d like , and also to basically uhhh flip the bird to the rich.

You guessed it - they’re called The Rooks and they’re not really . . . big , they’re just kind of. There. And nobody knows Jake’s the leader but it’s not like he’s really pressed if anyone finds out. 

It’s overall not entirely different from his pre-CT life other than obvious modern differences and LACK OF EVIE sooo. Yeah !!

I’ll hopefully work on a WC page for him soon but as of rn I just kinda want to get some threads going - hope y’all enjoy my dumbass kid xoxoooo

[scribblehoneybee]

See You Tomorrow

[ tw : alcohol/drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, mentions of self harm, and overdose ]

Useless.

Chase thinks to himself, downing another drink.

Stupid.

It burns, but not enough. If he can’t be numb he wants to feel something.

Failure.

He goes to pour more whiskey into his glass, but only a single drop comes out.

Pathetic.

He swears, cursing his past self for only buying one bottle. What use is restraint if he’s just going to end up drinking anyway? As far has he’s concerned, the only difference between three drinks and ten is the price tag. Either way he’d wake up hungover and full of regret, which will just lead him back to the bottle again.

Unless he didn’t wake up at all.

Chase knows that thought should at least make him pause. Humans are supposed to have some sort of preservation instinct, right? He’s pretty sure he heard some old hack rambling about that on a true crime show. Or maybe it was just Henrik. He laughs.

It would be so easy.

He leans back on the couch, limbs feeling heavy. His vision swims, tilting and blurring each time he moves his head. But it’s not enough - it’s never enough. After months of binge drinking he couldn’t even get a buzz without downing at least half a bottle. Unless he starves himself first. He’d been doing that more often lately, sometimes without even realizing. Nothing seems to have a taste any more. Everything is just bland, boring, a waste of time.

A waste of space.

He reaches a hand up over his head, giggling to himself as it wavers. As it sways, he turns it slowly, looking over the hundreds of tiny scars. Some are a faded, ghostly white, while others are still puffy and red. They match the countless others on his hips and thighs - just another habit he’d never been able to kick. It’s his body, who the fuck cares what he does with it.

No one cares.

Least of all Chase. He hasn’t done anything in almost a year. He just locks himself in his room, cycling between recording videos and drinking himself stupid. Now that he really thinks about it, he can’t even remember the last time he went outside. Or talked to someone. Huh.

No one would even notice.

Chase pulls out his phone, squinting at the screen. He closes one eye, unable to keep them from crossing on his own. Maybe he’s a bit more drunk than he first thought. But, just as he expected, there are no new calls, texts, or even emails. Just a bunch of useless notifications. That’s what he gets for isolating himself for so long. That doesn’t make it sting any less, though.

They would all be better off.

His thoughts drift back to the last time he really felt something - when he broke his arm trying to do that stupid stunt for his Bro Average channel. He hasn’t posted a video as himself in ages. No one really seemed to care that he disappeared. Henrik gave him some good shit after that, though… He wonders if he still has any left.

It would feel so good.

It wouldn’t be the first time he mixed pills with liquor, that’s for sure. He’s been messing with the shit since high school. That’s the funny thing about depression, honestly - it doesn’t go away, it just changes. But his shitty coping skills seem to just keep building up. Self harm, pills, drinking, smoking, anything to stop that empty ache in his chest. At least he managed to drop the reckless sex. It only took knocking up one girl to send his already shit life spiraling straight into hell. As much as he loves his kids, that’s still one of his biggest regrets.

Nothing will ever change.

No matter what he does, he’ll always just be Chase. Deadbeat divorced dad, failed Youtuber. With each passing day things just get harder and harder, worse and worse. He should’ve realized he was a lost cause when even Jackie stopped trying. Something starts to stir in his chest, and he longs to push it back down.

Anything is better than this.

He drags himself up from the couch and stumbles to the bathroom, stopping to lean against the wall a few times on the way. The hallway tilts and spins, and he giggles again. Everything just feels… stupid. Once he reaches the bathroom he flicks on the light, swearing at the fluorescent bulbs for being so damn bright. He rummages through the cabinet, knocking several objects into the sink, until he finally finds his prize - a small bottle of painkillers. He slams the cabinet shut, and is almost startled at the reflection staring back at him. His hair is long and greasy, his beard scraggly and unkempt. His eyes are red and lined with dark, heavy circles.

Disgusting.

Chase presses his face up against the mirror, meeting his own gaze, before pulling back and spitting at it. God, he’s a fucking wreck. A horrible, stupid, repulsive fucking disaster of a human being. In a moment of pure rage and impulsivity, he slams his fist into the glass. Shards rain down into the sink. When he pulls his hand back, a few splinters are still sticking out of the skin. He smacks them away, not even registering the pain. It’ll probably hurt like a bitch in the morning, though.

There’s an excuse.

He glances back down at the bottle of pills and grins. Perfect. He makes his way back into the kitchen, swaying and tripping over his own feet. Tugging open the fridge, he nearly weeps with joy at the sight of an unopened bottle of champagne. He had bought it for… something. The thought slips out of his mind just as quickly as it arrived. It doesn’t matter now, though. Booze is booze, and he needs something to wash down these pills with anyway. After some struggling he manages to pop the cork. Happy Fucking New Year, he thinks to himself, giggling. He unscrews the pill bottle and downs a few, chasing it with the champagne. He vaguely recalls Henrik saying he could handle eight of these without dying.

But really, a few more couldn’t hurt.

Chase loses track after fifteen, his entire body feeling like tv static. Everything feels so wavy and heavy and good. He falls back on the floor, knocking over the empty bottle, and writhes against it. The cold tiles feel good against his heated skin, and he’s caught between moaning and laughing. He doesn’t feel sad, or empty, or even in pain. As a test he drags his nails down his neck, hard enough to draw blood, and then slams his already injured fist onto the tile floor. He doesn’t just feel okay, he feels…

Wonderful.

He rolls over and reaches for the pill bottle, only to find it empty. That can’t be right. Chase tries to pull himself upright, to search for the remaining pills he knew had to be there, and the room to starts spinning violently. His vision blurs and his skin suddenly feels so, so cold. Nausea hits him like a train, and he’s pretty sure he’s vomiting, but at this point he can barely tell. It’s all too much and he can’t breathe he can’t think he can’t see until -

Nothing.

Everything goes dark.

[averyevcns]

welcome to the revamp my friends!

Don’t be fooled! That’s not HAYLEY WILLIAMS you saw on campus but in fact was AVERY EVANS. The 24 year old JUNIOR identifies as CIS FEMALE and is often described as IMPULSIVE, RECKLESS & GENUINE. When I think of them I imagine ROAD TRIPS WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND & ALL THE COLOURS OF THE SUNSET. I sure hope studying MUSIC is keeping HER busy. ( callie, 21, gmt, she/her )

tw: drug mentions, self harm mentions.

hello friends this is Avery! She pretty cool and stuff but here’s some more in depth info. it’s a mess and i’m not even sorry.

full name: Avery Clara Johanna Evans

d.o.b: May 21st, 1994.

height: 4′11.75 (tells everyone she’s 5′0)

weight: 98lbs.

eye colour: green

hair colour: naturally red - currently dyed platinum blonde.

tattoos: storm cloud behind her left ear, heart on her right wrist, treble clef behind her right ear. piercings: ear lobes, seconds, helix (left ear). wants more piercings but hardly has the time. scars/distinguishing marks (TW) : She has faded scars from self harming when she was younger across her stomach and thighs that she’s really insecure about. She also has a scar on her ankle from a surgery and a similar scar on her right hip for the same reason.

her parents divorced when she was pretty young and she grew up with her mother.

she has 3 half sisters and 2 half brothers. all from her dads new wife when he moved to california. she loves her half siblings but really does not get along with her dad.

visits california like twice a year at the most.

was born in nashville but spent most of her life in brooklyn. sometimes her nashville accent comes out a lil more but that’s usually when she’s tired or she’s been talking to her mom or relatives that still live there.

her and her mom spend a month in the summer in Nashville at her grandparents!!

avery’s family on her mom’s side are very wealthy and come from old money.

she’s rich. like,         rich. her mom pays for her apartment that she lives in in Rochester and pays the mortgage for their three bedroom apartment in brooklyn.

her mom is also a classical musician and earns her money from being a music therapist but also playing occasionally with the new york philharmonic and doing session musician work.

avery also occasionally plays with the rochester philharmonic - when she’s in rochester - and sometimes with the new york philharmonic with her mom when she’s not. will usually play violin or viola. also has done solo performances!! on violin, flute, and cello.

her dad is not a good person but he sends avery money every month bc he’s fucking loaded and thinks that money is the way to his daughters heart.

she is naturally a redhead but can and will dye it every colour under the sun. it’s currently platinum blonde if you wanted to know that kinda thing.

new she was Not Straight from a young age and currently identifies as pansexual!

spent some time after high school playing in orchestra’s and teaching children how to play piano and loved it but ultimately wants to get her doctorate in music.

is studying music because she’s always loved it - she loves how connecting it is because everyone has at least a few songs or an artist that they like, it’s crazy.

plays a lot of different instruments fairly well but is best at singing, piano, and violin.

also plays cello, clarinet, piccolo, guitar - electric and acoustic, ukulele, viola, flute, saxophone, oboe, bassoon, bass guitar, double bass, and harp.

aside from English she can also speak French fluently, and some German and Italian. Learning a little bit of Russian too. y’know, for cussing out classical composers in the afterlife.

is a romantic but not gr8 at expressing emotions healthily all the time.

(TW) was in a really shitty relationship as a teenager - which is where her drug addiction started - and was in a very low place when they eventually dropped her. has old scars across her thighs and stomach that she keeps covered as much as possible. if someone else sees them it’s usually on purpose and bc avery Trusts them implicitly.

loves a good party, is trying her hand at being sober because she had a heart to heart with someone and it made her realise that what she was doing wasn’t healthy. it’s a struggle though, relying on drugs for like 9 years?? fucks u up.

lowkey still deals drugs.

Apart from being a classical musician and friendly neighbourhood drug dealer she’s also a huge nerd! She loves video games, fantasy/sci-fi movies, anything stereotypically nerdy and she probably loves it. LotR, Star Wars, Legend of Zelda, Harry Potter, etc.

makes friends pretty easily, can talk at length about most things, is pretty good at changing the conversation if she gets bored. the mom friend. “just because i did it doesn’t mean you should - i make stupid decisions.”

forgets to eat sometimes, writing and playing take up a huge part of her life and she sometimes truly does just…forget!!

can usually be found writing music in unusual places - sat on a table at the library, in the corner of a party (whilst a lil bit buzzed), on the roof. anywhere.

wcs - give me all the friends pls. a music friend! maybe someone who isn’t a great influence and tries to talk avery into doing drugs again? someone to keep her on the straight and narrow! if anyone wanted to play her awful ex that would be Great - can be any gender just h m u. uhhh i think it would be feasible to have a couple more half siblings mayb???

taken connections -

boyfriend - aedan

half sister - elena

ummmmmmm

i don’t think there’s anything left for me to put???????

hmu for any plots you want i’m open to all of the things!!!

[abb-tts-blog]

hello honey bunnies, i’m tess and one of the greatest injustices that i’ve ever faced in my life is that i might have to use gifs from victorious while playing my brooding babe gideon. 

「 AVAN JOGIA, CISMALE, 26, HOZIER. 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on GIDEON ABBOTT-NEHRA (ABBOTT)?  he is one of my favorite INDIE ROCK/FOLK artists. they’ve been releasing music for 4 YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last 3 YEARS. get this, i think i heard HE REFUSES TO GO TO REHAB FOR HIS ALCOHOLISM. they’re known as the BLACK HOLE of the music industry, since they have a rep for being IMAGINATIVE but SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.  ( TESS, 18, CST, SHE/HER. )

alcoholism, death tw || profile || plots

sparknotes ver. of his life

gideon was born to an indian father and a british mother in manchester, england (he’s a huge manchester united fan but please don’t have your muse ask about it in a thread because i know nothing about soccer) and has two younger sisters named sophia and hester.

he had a pretty ordinary middle class upbringing! he was always a mischievous kid (if a little intense and emotional) and getting into trouble with the lads xx

he was never much of a star student, but he always loved english. gideon had a way with words that wasn’t immediately apparent if you heard him talk, but shone when he wrote poetry.

his dad had taught him how to play a guitar as a kid, but gideon never really took interest in it until he was 19, when he saw a live performance from a local singer at a pub he and his friends were at. he was so inspired by the lyricism and emotion in the songs that he went home and started plucking away at his old guitar again. he’d hide away in his room for days just piecing together chords and melodies, and he carried around THE RATTIEST notebook full of snippets of lyrics and ideas written down in some corner of an over-crowded page.

eventually, he moved to london at the age of 21, where he started doing his own gigs at nightclubs and pubs or just busking. it was a pretty Rough Time, as he’d yet to really be discovered. he was living in a tiny flat with some friendly cockroaches and was usually behind on rent. his parents were always offering to help him out financially but gideon was so enamored with the idea of the Struggling Brilliant Artist that he turned them down each time.

his big break came when he performed one of the songs that would later end up on his debut album (a little tune y’all might know of called “take me to church”). someone recorded his busking session and uploaded it onto youtube and the rest, they say, is history.

so when he came to the states, gideon fell in love with a beautiful girl. they were really serious, which was surprising considering gideon is an ass, and he was thinking about proposing to her soon, but she died tragically in a hit and run. (plot ideas: ur muse could either be the driver that hit his gf or maybe his gf was ur muse’s sister) he was already depressed to begin with, but this just pushed him off the edge.

he was constantly binge drinking to try to ease the pain and then he’d forget why he was drinking and just keep drinking until he was always drinking for no reason. like he can’t function without a shot sometimes. you can probably catch him with a flask at all times

anyways so that was probably like a year ago but gideon’s liver? is screaming now. and everyone is telling him, “stop it. get some help.” and while gideon’s a pretty private person, the tabloids are starting to notice that something’s a little off too so his management is also screaming. but my stupid boy just shrugs it off like “nah i can stop whenever i want”

personality

he’s like... if eeyore from winnie the pooh was a depressed alcoholic. very moody and broody 24/7

destroys everything he touches so it’s hard for him to maintain meaningful human relationships haHa

SO reckless and impulsive like he truly does not give a shit about repercussions. he does stupid things For The Art. worse comes to worst, he has new material to write a song about :-)

as a friend, gid is great! super loyal and supportive and chill. as a boyfriend, gid is the worst (at least now he is). super possessive and toxic and a lil bit disillusioned with the whole thing but HEY at least he’s a great fuck!

anyways please come plot with me!! i linked my plots page above the cut but here it is again if you don’t feel like scrolling. i’m sure we can come up with something wonderful together and odds are i’ve already stalked your page and im love with ur muse and simply waiting for us to plot :-)))