#tw life threatening illness

[gachapains]

My text to my boss after having the most brain altering past few days and tonight things finally snapped and I realized if I don't see my therapist like ASAP I'm probably gunna KMẞ so here's my reminder to him that I'm ✨ mentally ill ✨

[jennifersbod]

The "having everything finally looking up then your health suddenly getting worse out of nowhere" is a horrible horrible thing to go through. Even when you're used to being chronically ill, to suddenly have it turn for the worse is still so scary and so crushing. I'm rooting for you to get back to college and for everything to be okay. Sending you so much love xx

it’s just WILD that the day after i get what i’ve been working towards for almost a decade this happened. i’m so used to my chronic illness that this like didn’t register as a possibility because when you have a chronic illness even the scariest symptoms can become common place and you learn to live with them and doctors usually ignore them. i’m hoping this is a scare that will turn out to be like any of my other illnesses and that i can get back to the life i’ve been waiting for for so long.

truly thank you so much, this means the world, and i’m so sorry anyone else has to go through this but i’m also glad to know i’m not alone in having experienced it 💕

[trinitycove]

Appreciation post for my bf. But first I must give context involving my shitty, financially abusive, violent, drug-dealing, coke-addicted ex.

It has been a few years since I last had to go to hospital for it. And the last time I was here for DKA I was with a then-boyfriend now ex. He was mad at me about something so at first he refused to drive me to the hospital. Then when we finally did go the car broke down and we had to call an ambulance and of course he made that out to be my fault.

He didn't stay with me while I was in emerge, triage, or the short-term stay room let alone when I was admitted to a room upstairs. I was so sad and alone and my only company was this sweet elderly woman in the bed next to me who would check on me periodically. The nurses were kind as usual.

My friends told me to leave him, but I didn't listen because I foolishly believed things could get better, I could fix him, he would come around eventually. It wasn't until I started making friendships with women outside of his circle that I saw what I really deserved and how I wasn't getting anything I wanted.

As for my boyfriend today, this was his first time experiencing my DKA with me. As soon as I let him know I threw up, he came straight home from helping his dad out with something. He stayed by my side and monitored my vomiting. Once I couldn't keep water down (third puke) he said "babe, we're going to the hospital."

It felt so nice for someone else to take control while I felt so miserable and sick. To be able to let go. I'm often the one in charge, keeping track of what's been done and what needs to be done, and taking care of others.

He even made sure there was a bucket to bring with us in the car (I was dry heaving at this point) and he helped me pack a bag because I started doing it before he noticed. He didn't know DKA usually means an overnight stay or longer.

While I was in triage and then put into a temporary room he held onto my overnight bag and purse and asked around to find me. He then showed up and out of concern let me know I was very pale and shaking. I kind of snapped (high sugars make emotional regulation very difficult and often cause irritability) and told him to stop pointing things out it was making it worse. Because I have anxiety and PTSD the more I hear about my symptoms the worse they get, psychosomatic kind of thing. He did not get upset, he just took note and stopped making comments, moving on to another topic to try and distract me. I could barely talk, but it was nice to have the company and hear him talking.

What I found really helpful was when he came back after he had to leave for visiting hours just to bring me a warm blanket. The IV is usually cold and the basement of this hospital has a lot of AC. He then stayed up late on a work night just to make sure I was feeling better even a little bit. Which I was.

Today he came by unexpectedly and brought me a bottle of water and my toothbrush/toothpaste since we had forgotten to pack those items. He forgot my Tim's tea, but it was actually okay because when my meal came there was a tea with it.

I feel so cared and loved for. I am so happy I don't have to beg for him to care for me while I'm sick. I take care of him when he is sick and now that I know he does the same, it makes me really happy.

[starfishinthedistance]

The whole "having an eating disorder makes you inherently fatphobic!!!" thing is kinda funny because by that logic AFAB trans people who have eating disorders from gender dysphoria are misogynists

[all-i-do-is-try1]

It’s crazy how things like forced feeding are considered tourture under international law. But it’s perfectly acceptable to hold down people with an illness and do this to them.

And yes I do realize this can be a life threatening illness, but there’s always other methods that aren’t things that would be considered torture in any other context.

[wholegrainbitch]

being in the uk and having undiagnosed chronic illnesses with ✨️mystery symptoms✨️ that could be signs of life-threatening conditions if untreated is really just a constant cycle of

>feel like you might be dying

>use the 111 symptom checker

>ignore whatever it says

[cartoonghosts]

dramatically foreshortened life expectancy on this boy. What a beautiful tragedy i may be

[nightfallsystem-moved]

My mother complains about me being trans like "I asked God for a girl" dude you got a girl. My sister . But my sister's also trans so maybe that's why she's upset . I hate whenever I have to give her cards for birthdays or mother's day.... Tomorrow is her birthday 👎👎👎

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

[ID: A priest in a confession booth looking shocked]

[popcornoncemore]

This is one of my least favourite parts of PTSD. My friend is going through a rough spot and he reached out to me to talk. I responded to him about an hour and a half ago and he hasn't gotten back to me yet.

Part of my brain says he's probably taking some time and a nap.

The other part of me says that he's dead, that I am too late, that I will never see my best friend again, and that I will regret not answering his text sooner for the rest of my life. I try to calm down, but there is the shame of distracting myself from what feels like my friend being in mortal peril.

He is probably fine, but he's also probably dead and I am not going to get to him fast enough. And this is just on a normal day, this happens minimum once a week. I have to go to work and sell clothes while my mind cannot stop believing that I am losing my best friend at every moment. It's exhausting and I just feel sick with worry.

[rose24207]

Can I request something where reader and Mafia Lando are together and Reader gets like sick, and she brakes up with him because she doesn’t want to burden him with her sickness and she also doesn’t want him to be sad because of her but Lando figures it out when he looks into what she’s been doing and he gets suspicious when his guys tell him that readers been going to the hospital a lot. He also looks into her finances and sees she’s making big payment and when he finds out about her sickness he confronts reader at her apartment and she tells him but he promises to be there for her and to pay for the best treatment.

In sickness and in secrets

Summary: When you break up with Lando to protect him from your illness, he uncovers the truth, confronts you, and promises to stay by your side, ensuring you receive the best care and his unwavering love.

Genre: Mafia!Lando, angst, fluff

TW: sickness, breaking up

A/N: English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!

Masterlist

The first time you met Lando Norris, it was in the most unconventional way possible—at the end of a loaded gun. You had stumbled into his life purely by accident, an unwitting witness to a deal gone wrong. Instead of pulling the trigger, though, Lando had taken one look at you, decided you weren’t a threat, and walked away.

That was two years ago. Now, you couldn’t imagine a world without him. The enigmatic and sharp-witted leader of an underground empire, Lando had always treated you with a rare tenderness that seemed at odds with his dangerous reputation. He was your safe harbor, your anchor in a stormy world.

But life had a cruel sense of humor.

When you’d first started feeling unwell, you had brushed it off as stress. It wasn’t until the symptoms worsened—intense fatigue, frequent headaches, and moments where your body simply didn’t seem to cooperate—that you finally sought medical advice. The diagnosis hit you like a freight train: a rare autoimmune disease, one that would require extensive treatment, medication, and constant management.

Your world crumbled, and with it, so did your relationship with Lando.

“You’re breaking up with me?” Lando’s voice was sharp, laced with disbelief as he stared at you across the living room of his penthouse.

You stood with your arms wrapped around yourself, the weight of the decision pressing down on you like a physical force. “It’s for the best, Lando.”

“For the best?” His brows furrowed, anger simmering beneath his calm façade. “Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/N. What’s really going on?”

“I just... I can’t do this anymore,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t be in your world. It’s too much.”

His jaw clenched, his piercing eyes scanning your face for the truth you weren’t telling. “After two years, you’re just realizing that?”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough.” Lando took a step closer, his voice dropping to a softer tone. “Talk to me. Whatever it is, we can fix it.”

You shook your head, your heart breaking as you turned away. “Not this time, Lando.”

He reached out, but you were already walking out the door.

For weeks, Lando tried to respect your decision, though it ate away at him. You had been his constant, the only person who saw past the walls he’d built around himself. He couldn’t fathom why you’d left so suddenly, especially when everything between you had seemed perfect.

When his men started reporting that you’d been visiting the hospital frequently, his suspicions grew. Lando was a man who thrived on control, and the lack of answers gnawed at him.

It wasn’t just the hospital visits. He’d had your finances investigated—a move that left him feeling slightly guilty, though he justified it by telling himself it was for your protection. What he found made his blood run cold. Large, frequent payments to a private medical facility.

Something was wrong.

The knock on your apartment door startled you. You weren’t expecting anyone, least of all *him*. But when you opened the door and saw Lando standing there, his dark eyes filled with a mixture of anger and concern, your stomach sank.

“We need to talk,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

You stepped aside, your heart pounding as he walked into the small living room. He looked out of place in the modest space, his tailored suit and commanding presence a stark contrast to the worn furniture and cluttered coffee table.

“How did you—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, turning to face you. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. I know something’s going on. The hospital visits, the payments—what’s wrong?”

You froze, panic rising in your chest. “Lando, I—”

“Tell me,” he said firmly, stepping closer. “I know you. I know this isn’t about me or my world. So stop pushing me away and tell me the truth.”

You swallowed hard, tears welling in your eyes. There was no point in lying anymore. “I’m sick, Lando.”

His expression softened instantly, the anger draining from his face. “Sick? How?”

You sank onto the couch, your hands trembling as you explained. “I have an autoimmune disease. It’s... it’s not curable, but it’s manageable with treatment. It’s expensive, though, and it’s going to take a toll on me physically. I didn’t want to burden you with it.”

Lando sat down beside you, his eyes locked on yours. “Burden me? Is that what you think this is?”

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” you whispered. “And I didn’t want you to feel like you had to take care of me. You have enough to deal with already.”

He reached out, cupping your face gently. “You’re not a burden, Y/N. You could never be a burden.”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I didn’t want you to be sad because of me. I didn’t want you to watch me struggle.”

Lando’s thumb brushed away your tears as he leaned closer. “You don’t get to decide that for me. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. And if you’re struggling, then we’ll struggle together. I’m not going anywhere.”

You let out a choked sob, leaning into his touch. “Lando, I—”

“No,” he said firmly, his voice steady. “No more pushing me away. No more secrets. I’m going to take care of you, whether you like it or not. And don’t even think about arguing, because you know I’ll win.”

Despite the tears, you let out a shaky laugh. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love me for it,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “We’ll get through this, Y/N. I’ll make sure you have the best treatment, the best doctors—whatever you need. You’re not doing this alone.”

For the first time in weeks, the weight on your chest began to lift. Lando’s unwavering determination and love gave you a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to face this battle alone.

True to his word, Lando spared no expense in ensuring you received the best care possible. He accompanied you to appointments, held your hand during difficult moments, and made it his mission to keep you smiling even on the hardest days.

The world might have painted Lando Norris as a cold, ruthless leader, but you knew the truth. Beneath the tough exterior was a man who loved fiercely and unconditionally.

And as you sat together one evening, his arms wrapped around you as you watched the city lights from his penthouse, you realized that no illness could take away the bond you shared.

With Lando by your side, you knew you could face anything.

Thank you for reading!

[cutiecusp]

Memories, part three.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader.

TW, Memory loss, mentions of PTSD, light fluff.

You watch him as you both enter your shared home together, the tightness in his chest obvious as he scans the room, his dark eyes flitting over all the things that made your home unique to you both before settling on a photograph.

"You look beautiful, cant believe you got me in a suit." He remarks gruffly, staring at the couple in the photograph.

You take the frame off the table, and hand it to him, your smile genuine.

"What's more unbelievable is Soap ate the cake before we even cut it."

You watch Simon throw Soap an annoyed look, the Scot held his hands up in mock surrender, before joining the others in the kitchen.

Simon heads to the mantlepiece, his fingers tracing over the frames, as if he was trying to bring back every memory by touch.

"There's no doubt we look good together." He smiles, picking up a picture of you both on holiday, the sea in the background, your face beaming as you hold a giant ice cream.

"We had to share that ice cream." You quip, standing next to Simon.

Your cheeks redden as you remember all the sugary kisses afterwards, melting into his arms as he held you close.

Simons gaze flickers over your face, taking in the blush, but not remarking on it further.

"And who's this?" He asks, pointing to a picture of himself, with a dog.

"That's Scout, and in the back is Riley." you point out, your eyes soften.

"My brother owned Scout, and Riley was ours, you brought her home-"

"I brought her home from a mission." He finishes, his gaze steady.

"I remember her."

You smile sadly. He could remember your dog, but not you?

He picks up on the mood change, and offers a hand, and without hesitation, you take it.

"Sorry love. I wish i could remember more."

You shrug it off, as if it wasn't a big deal, and while your heart was breaking, you had to remember he was home. So you put on a watery smile, and change the subject.

"Tea?" You ask.

He nods, and finding his way to the kitchen, it allows you a minute to breathe.

Your eyes take in the first photo he saw, you in a white dress, your smile brightening up the shot, your eyes shining and focused on Simon, who stood tall and broad in a black suit, mask off, his eyes burning back into yours with desire and love.

Tears threatened to fall, and at the sound of laughter from the kitchen, you let them. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you cry, your vision blurring out the real world for a minute.

After a few minutes, you feel strong arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into an embrace. You look up, to see a familiar jaw line, and honeyed eyes.

"He will be okay, petal." Kyle remarks, his voice soft.

You shake your head, how can he be, when he cannot remember the life he's created with you.

Kyle rubs soothing circles on your back. Out of the taskforce, Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick felt the most like family, calm, collected, always ready for an adventure, and the one you confided in the most, he was like a brother to you, so it wasn't unusual that he was there to comfort you.

After a few minutes, you caught your breath and took the tissue Kyle offered.

"Thank you, Kyle, i should be grateful he's home, and i am, its just-"

Kyle nodded, his face solemn.

"We are going to give you guys some space, but if you need us, call us, I'm on paperwork duty tonight, so ill be awake."

You sigh, before nodding. You look up to see Price and Soap at the door, sad smiles on their faces. Over the last five years, these men had become your family, and it hit you hard that they must be grieving a friend too. You hug them both, pressing a kiss to each cheek before they head out, a clear understanding that this is the first day of a new life for both you and Simon.

The rest of the evening was consumed by dinner, Simon helping you prepare a basic dish, and asking small questions along the way. The mood felt awkward, hollow, with shallow conversations, Simon caught up with the year without him.

You hide in the bathroom, emotionally strung out. Essentially Simon was a stranger to you now, and while your heart yearned to break down the door and wrap your arms around him, he didn't feel like yours anymore.

You hear him shuffling around in your bedroom, so you go to investigate.

"Jus' looking for some shorts for bed," He calls out, seeing your shape in the doorway.

"I'll take the guest bed tonight, Simon." You say softly, looking everywhere but him.

"You don't have to do that, i will." Came the gruff reply. You look up to find Simon staring at you.

"I know, deep down you are my wife, and you are someone special to me, and i also know that this is a sore situation for you, so I'll take the other room."

You nod, returning to the bathroom, unable to argue with him. All you want is your husband back in your arms.

As you wash your face, and apply your skincare, you notice Simon watching you over your shoulder.

"You still use the vanilla cream?" He asks nonchalantly

You pause. How would he..

"Your dressing gown smells of vanilla in the bedroom. Made me think of cake. I thought the smell could trigger something" He admits sheepishly.

You nod, it had been a favourite of yours, and he routinely brought you more, even on deployment.

"Thank you." Simon says quietly.

You turn around, a questioning look on your face.

"For not giving up on me. For always believing I'd come home."

Your eyes soften, and you nod, unable to speak.

He throws you a smile and heads into the guest room, leaving you to finish rubbing lotion into your skin.

** A FEW HOURS LATER.**

You wake up with a start, a loud noise coming from the guest bedroom, throwing the covers back, you race into the next room.

Simon is drenched in sweat, his eyes unfocused as he tosses and turns in his sleep.

You know better than to wake him physically, so you call to him from the edge on the bed.

"Simon, its me, love. You are home, in the guest bed. You are home. " You chant your mantra a few times, before he groggily opens his eyes, before they settle on you.

"I'm home?" he asks, his voice deep with sleep and fear.

You nod, slowly approaching him.

"Yes, Simon. You are home, its me, you are safe."

You sit on the edge of the bed, watching Simons chest heave, his foggy gaze drinking you in like a cold glass of water on a hot day.

"Love?" He calls, his voice strained, his arms open.

You settle between his arms, your hand stroking his cheek, soothing him.

"I'm here." You assure him.

His breathing evens out, and you hold him closer, your heartbeat settling him.

"I remember the ice cream." he murmurs.

You raise an eyebrow.

"The ice cream?"

"From the photo, i remember it took you forever to eat it, it was when i came home from Paris, and we took a holiday. I remember kissing you after, your laugh as you put some on my nose."

You smile, Your thoughts going back to that day.

"I did, and do you remember the cat we saw, getting all the old ladies to feed it croissants?" You chuckle.

Simon pulls away, his eyes locked on yours, your bodies still close. Your heart beating rapidly in your chest.

"I remember the dress you wore for me that night, love." He remarks, watching you blush.

"I remember it not lasting long on your body." He continues.

His eyes flicked down to your lips, and back up to your eyes.

" I remember a lot, now love. But will you stay until i remember it all, and we can build our lives back together?" He asks, his voice full of vulnerability.

"I promise." You whisper, before his lips press gently against yours.

"I promise you forever."

......................................................................................................................

@kaeyasfuturewife @xoxunhinged @muneca-lemon-steppa @gardenof-venus @misshugs @soraya-daydreams @frudoo @renpodz @yesornowaitidontknow @thevoiceinyourheadx @shadowdark00 @rynbeerose @lunamoonbby @incredible-walker @identity2212 @pukbadger @urbimom @corvid007 @wordsfromshona @shadows-empress @m00xy @canyonmooncreations @oniraki @evie-119 @havoc973 @kylies-lover-blog @ishipdabands @cmbghost @heckinspooks @midwesternwitchery @eggy-yoke @redzluvvesage @masterclassofescapism @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @mims900 @skeletonsucker @vmaxis

[starzgaze]

LOVESICK POTENTIAL: sung jinwoo

pairing: yandere!sjw/reader

UNFINISHED incoherent drabble brainrot on yandere!sjw hahaha... this is so unfinished but it fried my brain so badly all i can do is draw this out later because i cant write for long periods of time 😒 also english isn't my first language so this is really ERRR not good also no proofreading we die raw

tw: froth and nothing much

BEFORE THE DUNGEON EVENT:

This era of jinwoo was so cute he looked so squishy I'm biting my bedsheets. This time is the perfect moment where jinwoo gets his reasons on why he's a little cuckoo over [y.name].

Jinwoo always came home covered in bruises and maybe with a dent in his mental health. I mean not only you face life threatening monsters but you also face the words of your fellow hunters that consists of demeaning and degrading your whole existence does horriblewonders to Jinwoo's mental health! After when his mother came out of the picture by falling ill to the Eternal Slumber, Jinwoo had to face the expectations on becoming the breadwinner and help to keep his family a float.

Jinwoo doesn't have ambitions or anything during this time, not when he's too focused on trying to feed Jinah and pay the bills. He's a blank pitiful slate who's being driven by desperation and the promise he made to his mother to take care of his sister. He doesn't have anyone to turn to and he can't tell what he's experiencing to his sister because that'll make her worry for him! Jinwoo doesn't want his sister to flunk her studies because he made her worry for him... so he's basically alone.

Until you come in to the picture. [y.name] one of the few people who saw him as a person instead of some weak pitiful excuse of a hunter. It doesn't really matter how you meet Jinwoo, whether it be through connections, after a dungeon raid, or you randomly meeting him on the street, what matters is how you perceive him as a person and how you turn his miserable world upside down.

When [y.name] entered his life, it felt like a ball of light entered his dim world but not as if [y.name] was extremely energetic or what not. It was more like that [y.name] ignited something within Jinwoo. [y.name] would stop by and talk to Jinwoo, solidifying his self as a person. They would talk about ideals and goals and even encourage Jinwoo to maybe create his own when they found out that he didn't had any of his own. Jinwoo felt so warm inside whenever he'd spent time with [y.name]. He felt so inexplicably happy.

Jinwoo decided that [y.name] is his goal and the driving force of his ambitions.

Jinwoo limped a bit as he walked towards his small apartment he shared with his sister. It was what remained when his mother was sent to the hospital for falling ill. He groaned silently as he clenched his arm that was throbbing in pain. Even after being recently healed by Joohee, he could still feel the pain of his arm being battered to smithereens.

He wondered how many dungeon raids left till he'll perish by the hands of some low ranking monster.

The young man approached his door before suddenly being called out by a familiar voice. Jinwoo turned around and his bleak mood was changed into a more joyful one.

"Jinwoo! I caught 'ya this time!" [y.name] giggled as they skipped over to Jinwoo, a small mischievous smile plastered on their features. Jinwoo chuckled at [y.name]'s words as he admired [y.name]. He wondered what did he do in his life to meet [y.name]

Jinwoo hoped that the next dungeon raid isn't the one where he'll perish by the hands of a monster.

AFTER THE DUNGEON EVENT:

Jinwoo would probably avoid contacting [y.name]. After realizing he has a new opportunity to get stronger. His mental health before wasn't the best, he often thought he was pulling [y.name] back and has this mindset that he didn't deserve any of the kindness he was receiving from anyone especially from [y.name]

But now? he has now the chance to pay them all back by becoming stronger and become someone they can all rely on. So randomly... he'll just disappear from [y.name]'s life randomly. Jinwoo feels horrible but he isn't ready to face [y.name] again but he promises to himself that he'll meet his darling[y.name] soon.

Jinwoo would admire [y.name] from afar and sometimes do this just for the sake of answering to his personal question of: "I wonder how are they doing now?". Jinwoo is aware how much it hurts to [y.name] that he randomly disappeared from their life without a word especially how worried they were for him.

When Jinwoo finally deems he's prepared and worthy enough to face [y.name] he almost forgotten how different he looked when he last met [y.name]. Jinwoo almost scared [y.name] away when a devilishly handsome tall young man approached them with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Thankfully, [y.name] recognized the man from the slightly meek demeanor he showed.

Maybe after a few more meetups and catch ups, [y.name] would notice the many changes on Jinwoo's overall.. being? like aside from the fact he's now built like a sculpture made by the gods, he's more confident and charming?.. Jinwoo of course didn't miss the way how [y.name] would quiet down and stare at Jinwoo, taking note every little different detail on Jinwoo. This fed the hunter's ego and was proud how his hardwork paid off.

While [y.name] was admiring Jinwoo, they didn't notice how Jinwoo added a few of his shadows into [y.name]'s shadow. His love for [y.name] during their absence has doubled a thousand fold and the lengths he'd go for [y.name] is now boundless. Jinwoo's goal of achieving [y.name] might not be impossible anymore if he pushed himself a bit more just like what [y.name] says.

After meeting up with Jinwoo, [y.name] bid the hunter goodbye as they exited the cafe. [y.name] was pleasantly joyful that Jinwoo didn't forgotten about them and met up with them again after a few years but this still didn't made [y.name] pissed off over the fact he basically ghosted them for a few years too!

[y.name] walked down the cold street that was dimly lit up by the lamp posts around the area. They shivered a bit as they tried to warm up their hands by shoving one of them in their trenchcoat's pocket. [y.name] was on their phone when they suddenly bumped into a man by accident.

"ow.. oh? I'm sorry I didn't notice you there I'm really sorr—" [y.name] stammered out as they bowed their head in apology but then they felt a hand pushing them hard enough to be stumble back into a lamp pole, hitting their back pretty hard. The man reached out to [y.name]'s trenchcoat's pocket and pulling out their purse then he ran away with their purse in hand.

"agh! what the- my purse?!" [y.name] yelled as they rubbed their back to ease the throbbing pain as they tried to run after the robber.

Unfortunately for [y.name] he was fast on his feet and after for a while they lost him. [y.name] panted as they decided to not give up yet and looked around the now lightless and eerie street, it seems like the robber ran into a more abandoned side of the city.

[y.name] roamed around the street and would peak occasionally inside of alleyways hoping to catch the man but much to their dismay, they haven't seen any glimpses or hints. They mindlessly walked around, slowly losing hope until they heard a quick shriek then a hard thump from a nearby alleyway. A cold sweat went down their neck as they froze in place... Did something happen?

[y.name]'s eyes narrowed down on the alleyway where they assumed the sound originated from. They contemplated for a bit whether they should check it out before they decided to see what it was, clinging on the possibility it might be their purse. [y.name] slowly peeked their head in the alleyway and immediately gasped at the sight.

The man who stole their purse on floor, wriggling in pain before a dark figure. Froth was coming out of his mouth as dark inky shadows circled around his throat. His ankles looked twisted but in a very unnatural degree that it looked grotesque.[y.name]'s eyes shakily looked at the soon to be a corpse then up to the figure who was holding their purse. They blinked blankly at the figure.. [y.name] recognized him?!

"Jin..woo?..." [y.name] murmured underneath their breath as the figure looked up to see [y.name] who was pretty shaken up. The light finally hits the figure's and it revealed it was indeed Jinwoo... but he had this soulless glint in his eyes that suddenly brighten up at the sight of [y.name]

"ah. [y.name]" He called out as he walked past the struggling man and approached [y.name] who took a step back away from Jinwoo. This made his heart wrench.

"don't. don't move away. it's dangerous at this time, you shouldn't be alone" Jinwoo continued as he was finally in front of a terrified [y.name]

"you shouldve accepted my offer walking you home"

[aphroditelovesu]

Yay! I'm so happy you write for Baldwin IV!!! Could you do general yandere headcanons for him? Thank you!💗

''Nothing is more important to me than you.'' — Baldwin IV.

❝ 📜 — lady l: I got a little excited, but I hope you like it. I've always wanted to write for him and I finally got the chance! Good reading and forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of murder, manipulation (sorta of), unhealthy relationships.

❝📜pairing: yandere!king baldwin iv/leper king x gender neutral!reader.

Baldwin had always been shy in his obsession with you, always self-aware of his illness that had left him forever disfigured. He was afraid that you would find him disgusting, that you would hate him and he didn't want that. Baldwin couldn't handle it if you hated him. He wanted to be loved by you, but he was too afraid to talk to you directly for quite some time.

So he remained in the shadows, hidden and longing for you from afar. Even before becoming King, he already dreamed of you and these desires only became more frequent after he became sovereign. He was precocious and maintained a good shape and physical appearance and was optimistic about his illness, but as he grew older he felt increasingly disturbed by the idea of you hating or despising him.

That doesn't mean he ignored you, Baldwin never did that and never will. He can't bear to be away from you, at least not physically, and he can't even go without talking to you. Talking to you was what cheered him up when his mind was consumed by dark thoughts. You were his light.

Baldwin will make sure that once he becomes King, he can ensure that you are well, that you are living well and with the honor, the wealth that you deserve, in his domain. He will do everything in his power to make sure you are eating well and will even go so far as to offer you an official position, if you don't already have one, so he can take care of you.

Although he prefers to stay away so he can also protect you from his illness, that doesn't mean he will allow you to be taken away from him. You may not know it, but you belonged to him. Any love interests or potential suitors/lovers will be quickly and quietly dealt with. Baldwin is not cruel and does not intend to be, but he will become a monster for you.

If he could, Baldwin would marry you, but due to his illness, he is prevented from doing so, so he prefers to keep you close while giving important positions to you or your family. It's a way of ensuring the loyalty of those important to you and having you close by. There are only benefits from his perspective.

Baldwin is remembered and admired for being a competent king who brought prosperity to the Kingdom of Jerusalem, but little is known that the real motivation was you. It was you who held power over him, who influenced him to do anything you wanted. He could become a tyrant if you asked him to. But he feels proud of himself for having met your expectations for his government.

When he has to go out to protect and defend Jerusalem, Baldwin will probably take you with him. He could leave you to take care of State affairs, but he can't bear to be away from you. He is quite clingy although he doesn't always touch you physically, he still needs to be in your presence. It's a constant need, Baldwin feels like a part of his heart withers when he's away from you.

Baldwin may not be able to be with you the way he would like and this has only served to increase his possessive tendencies. He won't allow other people to get too close to you, to steal you from him. Even though you can't officially be his, that doesn't mean he'll let you be someone else's. He will have no problem sending the person who threatens his position in your life to a deadly skirmish, arrest or even executed.

He is neither cruel nor sadistic, but for your sake he will be willing to commit the most heinous crimes just to ensure that you remain by his side. Baldwin needs you like he's never needed anyone before and he knows he'll be destroyed if anything happens to you.

If it were to happen to him, Baldwin will make sure you are safe and protected, perhaps even naming you his Heir. He wouldn't want to leave Earth without you, but he's not selfish enough to want to kill you. He wants you to live a long and happy life, preferably single, even if he's not by your side. He is completely selfless and you will always come first for him. First you and then his duties.

There is nothing he wouldn't do or give to you. Titles, official positions, riches, clothes, jewelry and food in abundance, anything you wanted, he would do it in the blink of an eye. Baldwin trusts you blindly, going so far as to obey your orders on any issue, from food to military matters.

Baldwin IV is a great soft for you and you only. He may seem weak, but that's all he isn't. He is intelligent and knows how to make rational decisions and he will do that with you. Because he loves you, he depends on you and because you are his hope. His light. Don't leave him or Baldwin will go crazy and even go so far as to commit suicide if you abandon him.

You are his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.

[seijorhi]

invidia ii

a (very belated) christmas present for my beloved wife @iwaasfairy who has, for two years straight, begged me for more shinnosuke content. i hope you like it bby! kuroo tetsurou x female reader, kuroo shinnosuke (oc) x female reader part i w.c 3.1k tw: noncon/dubcon, slight daddy kink, (forced) infidelity, yandere themes, nsfw, smut, age gap, i guess hints of breeding kink, dilf kuroo

“Why did your parents split up?”

Mid-way through pulling on a pair of old, grey sweatpants, mopping at beads of water from his shower still rolling down his bare chest, Shinnosuke throws you a curious look, but shrugs easily enough.

“They weren’t ever really ‘together’ to begin with. They tried the whole co-parenting thing to start with but mom… they never loved each other. Hell, I don’t even think they liked each other most of the time beyond–” he breaks off, his nose wrinkling in distaste. It almost makes you laugh. “Anyway, dad always said she had one foot out the door from the start. Dad was the one who stuck around to raise me.” There’s no animosity in his tone, he says it like it’s the simple truth. You’ve never met the woman, never having shown up to any of the Nekoma games, his graduation, any of it. You’ve seen a picture or two, overheard the odd phone call, but for as long as you’ve known him, the only real parent in Shin’s life has always been his dad.

If there’s anyone he idolises, it’s his father.

 Which is why the words that he says next – casting aside the damp towel in the general direction of the laundry basket (boys) and sauntering on over to join you in bed – take you entirely by surprise. “We’ll go visit her in Golden Week. I want her to meet you.”

And again, the words are just that; words. Shin kisses you, a sweet peck on your lips, and wastes no time in scooping you back into his arms and settling back with a contented sigh. They’re just words, but there’s this look in his eyes when he says it that makes you think he means something more. 

Your stomach flutters.

—

‘You really wanna break his heart like that, kitten?’

—

“Still not feeling any better?” Shin asks, brushing your hair back to feel your forehead. The beginnings of a frown start to take shape, teeth gently burrowing into his bottom lip, but he straightens and sighs, and that hint of discontent smoothes over like it had never existed in the first place. He strokes your hair again and offers a small, sympathetic smile. “No temperature, that’s gotta be a good sign, right?”

You’re a coward.

“It’s not my head, I just…” don’t have any visible, plausible symptoms for the fake illness that’s currently keeping you curled up in Shin’s bed. Away from the creep who’d smiled and fucking winked at you Christmas morning. “I just feel off.”

“Poor baby,” he coos, laughing when your face screws up and you swat at him.

Right now, swaddled in his hoodie, his fingers carding through your hair and that stupid, impish, almost believable grin beaming down at you, you want to forget. To pretend. 

Because there’s a pit in your stomach. A bitter, gnarled, seething mass. This moment right now, in Shin’s bed, it’s like glass, paper thin and already cracked, it can’t possibly last, and yet you’re clinging to it so desperately, head buried in the sand, willing yourself to pretend, from one heartbeat to the next, that what’s happened won’t break the two of you. 

That your stomach doesn’t threaten to upend when you catch sight of those hazel eyes peering down at you – the same shape and shade as his father’s.

You shudder out a breath, and what little levity there was between you two gets sucked out with it. Shin’s expression gutters.

Yeah. 

His fingers don’t leave your hair, though. Playing idly with the strands as though the suffocating tension in the room doesn’t exist at all. “Dad’s taking us out to dinner tonight,” he tells you. Reminds you, because you knew all of this beforehand. Everything but the party. “Do you want me to run by the pharmacy to get you something?”

Another tap at the fractured glass. 

That’s Shinnosuke all over, isn’t it? You might’ve been the manager back in the day, but it was always Shin who kept an eye on his team, on you, to make sure everyone was good. 

“No,” you shake your head. “I’ll–” the words get stuck in your throat. “I’ll see how I feel in an hour or so. ‘m still a little tired.” 

“You want some tea, sweetheart?”

‘Shh, sweetheart, you gotta keep it down.’

A cold sweat breaks out on the nape of your neck. No. No, no, no, no–

“Baby?”

You flinch like he’s slapped you, jerking away from the hand he’s wound in your hair. The startled look he shoots you borders on wounded, but you’re already squirming towards the edge of the bed, stumbling to your feet like a newborn foal. “Bathroom,” you manage to eke out, your voice sounding far too strangled and hoarse to pass as anywhere near the realm of fine. 

Shin doesn’t follow, doesn’t so much as utter a word – all kicked puppy confused – as you throw the door closed behind you and collapse back against it, a sweaty, ashen mess. 

He usually calls you love. Baby. Princess when he’s being a little shit. 

Sweetheart’s a rare one. 

Your heart races, a runaway train pounding in your chest. His eyes, his touch, sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart.

Another shuddering breath in. Out. 

Fuck. 

There’s a knock – not at the ensuite door, the sound’s too muffled for that, and you didn’t hear Shin’s footsteps (though you’re not sure you would, over the pounding in your ribs) meaning that the knocking’s at his door. 

There’s only one other occupant in the house. Though you try your damndest to fight it, there’s no stopping the wave of panic that stabs through you. Shin’s door creaks open, soft voices barely creeping through the gap in the door, and your fingers go rigid, nails clawing at the black and white flooring as though you can ground yourself by breaking through it instead. 

You don’t realise you’re crying.

Not until the droplets splatter on the tiles by your feet.

—

You should’ve left days ago.

After Christmas, when you’d ducked out from under Shin’s arm and lurched for the nearest bathroom, when it’d finally clicked for him that you violently hurling your guts up wasn’t the result of a simple hangover, you’d tried. Short of admitting the truth – and swinging a bat at the bees’ nest – convincing Shin to leave his dad’s place goes about as well as drawing blood from a stone. 

He’s even less thrilled about the prospect of you going back by yourself, leaving him to spend what’s left of the week with his dad like they’d planned.

There’s only so far you can push without breaking something. You, probably. You and Shin, almost definitely. 

Even so, you might’ve had more of a backbone if he hadn’t been so… Shin. All coaxing and concerned. Logical to a damn fault. 

‘You don’t wanna be stuck in a car driving for hours when you’re feeling shitty, love, and besides, dad’s place is bigger than ours. Comfier. You’ll probably be on the mend by tomorrow anyway, so there’s no point in us heading back.’

If you weren’t trying to salvage what’s left, or maybe clinging to the idea that you can – and want to – then it would’ve been easier just to go.

You wouldn’t still be here, stuck in the house of the man who’d– who’d raped you.

You wouldn’t be avoiding your boyfriend’s eye.

You would’ve screamed the whole house down before Kuroo Tetsurou ever bent you over the kitchen counter.

But the gentle extrication in the early hours of the morning, Shinnosuke’s lips brushing against your cheek, the sleepy rasp of his voice as he mumbles a quiet, “Love you,” before slipping away – you barely stir, cozy and safe and content.

He loves you. Shin loves you. 

A while later – minutes, maybe, or hours, it’s hard to tell when you’re still in the grips of sleep – the mattress dips under Shin’s weight, and those strong, sculpted arms seek your warmth again, you only sigh and lean back against him. 

“I love you,” you whisper, not yet willing to open your eyes and face another day of lying to him. 

The arm slung over your waist curls tighter, his face nuzzling into your neck. The kisses he leaves there aren’t affectionate, exactly, they’re not gentle, when teeth catch, nipping sharply at your skin, only to be soothed by a lave of his tongue.

And the laugh that rumbles at your back – a shade off your boyfriend’s – is anything but nice. 

“Yeah? Fuck, you’re sweet in the morning.”

This time, you don’t hold back. You shriek, kicking out like a wild thing – or you would have, if Kuroo’s hand hadn’t clamped down on your mouth, if his weight hadn’t shifted so that rather than lying curled up behind you, he’s half on top of you, pinning you down to the mattress with a thigh lodged between yours. 

“Uh-uh-uh, we were doing so good, kitten. Don’t you wanna be daddy’s good girl?”

Your only answer is a ragged noise, torn from somewhere deep inside of you. He chuckles again, grinds against you, his cock a thick, unignorable presence pressed at your ass. There’s nothing but the thin cotton of your sleep shorts separating it from you, and from past experience, that barrier won’t do much to deter him for long.

Kuroo rolls you onto your back and slots himself nicely between your legs. Naked, you realise with a fresh stab of fear.

You scream the moment his palm leaves your lips to capture your wrists, scream for Shinnosuke – for anyone – so loudly that it feels like you’ll bleed for it. Let him come running, find you pinned and squirming, terrified beneath the man who raised him.

Let it be the final crack that obliterates everything. 

If Shin sees you like this, utterly petrified, on the verge of being raped again and still thinks it some kind of a betrayal, let him choke on it. You don’t care anymore, you just want someone to stop this. 

(Shin wouldn’t, would he?)

But Kuroo only snickers. Leans over to lick along the edge of your lashes, where hot, glistening tears are already spilling over, trickling down to disappear in your hairline. “Your boy’s not here, but we don’t have long ‘til he gets back. You’ll forgive me if we bypass the foreplay this morning, right, sweetheart?” You shudder, goosebumps prickling where his breath washes over you, and you squeeze your eyes shut and violently – pointlessly – shake your head. “We’ll have to save eating your pretty little cunt for next time.”

All too eager, he hungrily captures your lips again and yanks down your shorts, taking your panties along with them.

Christmas morning, you’d been shoved face down over the kitchen counter while he’d fucked you from behind. You’d give anything for that distance right now. At least then you hadn’t had to endure his suffocating warmth, having him squeeze and grope at your tits over your old, threadbare tee.

You wouldn’t have to writhe away from his mouth while he rucks your bare thighs up either side of his hips, dragging you closer.

Even with your eyes screwed tightly shut, you can’t pretend that this isn’t happening as Kuroo spits and a heartbeat later the thick head of his cock slowly – agonisingly slowly – splits you apart.

You forget how to breathe. 

Eyes popping open and back arching up into his chest, your fists clutch desperately at the sheets of Shin’s bed, trying to squirm away, only the grip he has on you makes sure there’s nowhere for you to escape to. He’s big, long, mostly, and you’re too tight to take him easily, especially without any prep. The spit doesn’t help any, and Kuroo doesn’t care, groaning out in pleasure as inch by inch he pushes himself deeper, until at last he’s seated firmly inside of you. “Good fucking giiiirl,” he purrs, a kiss pressed to the tip of your nose.

A tiny, drawn out whine is all you can manage when your lower half radiates pain. 

“Gonna fuck this perfect pussy nice ‘n full,” he tells you. “Give you everything you need, sweet girl. You can take it. I know you can, you just gotta breathe for me.”

But unlike last time, he doesn’t allow you the luxury of a minute to adjust. His hips draw back and punch forward, jolting another mewling gasp from your lips. And again. And again. The pace isn’t violent so much as intense, like each thrust ignites something inside of him that burns for more.

He clasps your wrists in one hand, pants into your open mouth between frenetic kisses, groans out your name in that shuddering gasp.

“Mine,” he pants, beads of sweat dripping from his chest, his chin, rolling down onto you. “You’re daddy’s girl– fuck!”

Your cunt reacts accordingly, flexing around his cock, easing its passage so that the wet, lurid sounds of him fucking you quickly fill the air. A betrayal that has your cheeks flaming. 

The muscles in your thighs burn, Kuroo all but forcing them back towards the bed, his weight driving into you with fervour. A quick adjustment to the angle of your hip and his cock hits a spot deep inside of you that has you choking on a moan of your own, a burst of bright, sizzling pleasure bleeding through the pain.

Kuroo grins ferally at the sound of it. Drops his weight on an elbow and bucks into you, hitting it again. Your inner walls twitch, squeezing and slick, dragging noises from you that make you wanna burn with shame – that, or cut yourself loose entirely. You can’t muster resistance when he swallows them down, sucking on your tongue, moaning into your mouth. His momentum turns rabid, his hand no longer encircling your wrists, but entangled with them, pressing them down to the mattress. “Almost… there…” he grunts, gasping as he curls over you, abs flexing.

A shudder rolls through him, his hips faltering just as something vital shatters inside of you, toes curling, white hot pleasure exploding from your core, rippling through your whole body like the aftershocks of an earthquake. With your pussy spasming around his cock, your body taut and locked with pleasure, Kuroo hurtles off that cliff right alongside you, a strangled noise somewhere between a moan and a growl escaping him as he pumps your cunt full of his seed, all but collapsing atop of you afterwards.

It takes a minute before he peels himself off of you; pushing himself up, braced on elbow so that he’s not crushing you entirely, Kuroo waits, buried inside your warmth, for you to stop trembling with the after effects of your orgasm, for his cock to soften and both of your breathing to even out. 

Waits for those glazed over eyes to focus back on him and once again fill with tears, stroking a hand through your sweat-dampened hair as he does so.

“You should go take a shower before Shin gets home,” he says after a minute or two, his voice a low purr. “He can’t be far off.”

But aside from rolling off you to allow you up, Kuroo makes no moves to follow you, or so much as get up off the bed. Naked, his cock soft and glistening with your juices, one knee propped up, he watches you stumble like a newborn foal into the bathroom (only half managing to close the door behind you) with damn near predatory intent, a smirk teasing at his lips.

It’s where Shin finds you a short while later, curled up on the floor of the shower, shaking through silent sobs. 

—

Shin doesn’t let go of your hand the entire trip home.

Uncharacteristically sober, he says little aside from the occasional murmur to check in with you – always unanswered – and keeps you tucked close, as though a fraction of distance between you might pry you from his side entirely. 

The hours pass in a haze of… nothing. Your tears dry. Numbness takes over. You move like a robot, Shin guiding you every step of the way until you cross the threshold of your apartment.

He never asks what happened. You suppose the smell of sex in his bedroom and the bruises and love bites scattered over your body tell the tale well enough. Shinnosuke’s never been stupid. He’s not dense. 

He’s not heartless, either.

In the sanctity of your tiny, shitty bathroom, you shower again. A proper shower this time, with the water turned up full blast, scrubbing viciously at your skin– or at least, you do until he steps in and takes over. You’ve never thought of your boyfriend as particularly gentle, but he pries the loofah from your hand with a delicacy you didn’t know him capable of and takes care of you, cleaning you up with a tenderness that borders on reverence.

You pretend not to notice how his eyes (so like his, sharp and hazel) narrow into a scowl every time he spots another bruise, another mark left by his father. Once or twice his fingers begin to ghost over them, burgundy fingerprints on your thigh, a love bite sucked into the delicate skin above your collarbone, only to catch himself, swallowing tightly and resuming his task like he’d never faltered in the first place. 

When you’re done, he dries you both off and helps you into fresh clothes – a pair of comfy sweatpants and an old hoodie of his and guides you back to the living room, setting you down into his lap on the couch.

“I–” his voice is hoarse. Quiet, especially in the stillness of the apartment, and when you glance his way, he awkwardly clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “I went to the pharmacy. I thought– I thought…” he trails off again, dropping his gaze. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

Your heart twists, and it’s your turn to comfort him. Or maybe you’re comforting each other, shifting slightly in his lap so that you can wrap your arms around him and draw him in close, burying your face in the crook of his neck and breathing in the fresh, clean scent of him. “No. I– it wasn’t…” but the words don’t come. You flounder. 

What are you supposed to say? It wasn’t his fault? Wasn’t yours?

You should’ve said something earlier? Should’ve fought back harder – against both of them, should’ve grown a spine?

A beat passes in the tense, thick silence, and when it becomes clear that you’ve got nothing for him, he makes an odd sort of huff that sounds almost irritated. You frown a little, but you don’t fight it when his arms pull tighter around you, when his cheek comes to a rest against your hair and his hands seek yours, curling around your wrists and stroking at the skin there. 

“We’ll get through this,” he vows. “I love you, this doesn’t change anything. It won’t change anything.” His lips meet the crown of your head in a soft kiss. “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”

[gollldrush]

Elliot’s head is hung now, his eyes glued to the ground. He only looks up when Aura shouts Leo’s name. His tongue flickers out to wet his lips and he holds up a hand. Leo silences him almost instantly with another look.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles, looking like a kicked dog. She chews the inside of her cheek a bit awkwardly as ze stands to zir feet.

“No, no, this is my fault, man.” Elliot crouches as Goose and Bandit come wiggling over. The dogs go from clinging to him to winding around Leo’s legs, the force of their snuggling nearly knocking her off her feet. “You’re good, I won’t tell anyone.” There’s clearly something else he wants to say but he bites it back.

“I think- I think you should sit down, Aura.” Zir paleness has not gone unnoticed, nor has their trembling. After commanding the dogs to sit and stay, she’s back at his side and examining his face. It looks bad, potentially broken, but she hopes that isn’t true. “I’m gonna get you some ice, okay?”

As soon as Leo leaves the room Elliot clears his throat again. His voice is low, his eyes slightly darkened with a seriousness. And while there’s no real threat in his body language, he’s still giving off a vibe.

“I’m not gonna pretend I’m overjoyed about this whole thing.” He’s got a lot of feelings surrounding this, and most them are not good. “I love Leo, and I’m willing to set shit aside with you, but… I need to know right now. And look me in the fuckin’ eye when you answer, man.” He swallows, staring coldly at Aura. “Are you actually clean? She gonna come home and find other people in the bed again? … You gonna get mad at her and break her fuckin’ phone against a wall?”

He’s pale, the blood loss already starting to make his head throb. He takes slow breaths to try and keep calm, but nothing seems to numb the searing pain. As the towel is passed to him, he winces away from Leo’s touch slightly and takes the towel himself with a muttered thanks. He presses it to his face, slumping back against the wall as he releases an exasperated sigh. It was probably broken. But he wasn’t about to go back to the hospital again this week. A hand blindly searches his pocket for his phone.

Ze’s stopped midway through dialling his private nurse’s number, hearing the sudden argument swelling between Leo and Elliot. “Hey,” ze whispers, zir voice barely reaching even regular talking level. Ze clears zir throat, wincing slightly as ze shifts the towel. “Leo.” A bit more firmness, though ze’s struggling to raise zir voice enough to interrupt. And then—

He’s dying you, fucking moron!

“LEO!!” Ze manages to shout, voice grating against the back of zir throat. Ze winces, starts to cough. A slight grunt at the pain it causes zir face. Shit. Ze sucks in a slightly choked breath, trying to calm down. Not get so worked up. Two days in a row of high stress situations would only prove damaging… A rasping sigh as he finishes dialling his nurse’s number. Another cough.

When he hangs up, he does his best to push himself to his feet with all the strength he has. If help is offered, he’s quick to not take it, assuring them he’s fine. Once he’s up, he simply leans back against the wall, letting the towel pull back from his quickly bruising nose. At least the bleeding was starting to slow. Fingertips press against his nostrils, blocking any further flow for a moment. Then, finally, ze shifts, releases when ze’s sure there’s no more blood spilling out…

“Yes. Yeah. I’m not well, Elliot,” he admits through another exasperated breath. “But it’s really fine. I understand. I did a lot of shitty things to both you and Leo. I deserved that.” A hand held up to keep either of them from protesting. “Leo, I know you’re just looking out for me, but I can take care of m'self, all right?” His voice is soft, doing his best not to sound angry. If anything he’s simply embarrassed. Head hanging in shame.

“I was going to tell you,” he says to Elliot. A hitched breath--he's shaking now, but trying to hide it. “I just…didn’t know how.” A deep sigh. “Leo’s the only one who knows, so please don’t tell anyone…I can’t…handle the publicity right now.”