#tv film analysis

[psykopaths]

One Sings, the Other doesn't (1977)

[the-crooked-library]

The Gender Narrative - from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to A24

Alright so I know this topic has probably been explored to hell and back (pun intended), but a transgender lens reading of Buffy the Vampire Slayer has beckoned me for years; and seeing I Saw the TV Glow yesterday was probably the last push I needed to get this out in writing. As we know, the film features a fictional television show heavily inspired by BTVS - and the framing highlights the same aspects I've wanted to dissect, so let's dive into it.

Spoilers under the cut!

Throughout its run, and despite its imperfections, BTVS drew much of its messaging from 90s (and early 2000s)-era feminism. Buffy's presentation as a sparkly, pink, girly girl is central to her character and her destiny. She is an icon of what girls can do and accomplish, even with the whole world against them - and, in this context, it is absolutely, startlingly captivating that her personal life revolves around a perpetual struggle for her right to girlhood.

Despite being the picture-perfect blonde Valley Girl on the surface, Buffy often finds herself barred from that existence by her Slayer identity. She is consistently perceived as too strong, too capable, too aggressive, too independent, too dangerous - and, ultimately, too masculine to participate even in the most stereotypical milestones of a girl in high school. Still, that experience is what she craves the most; so she signs up for the cheer squad, she loves shopping, she runs for Prom Queen, and she goes out slaying in a halter top, with perfect bouncy curls. In essence, Buffy Summers is desperate to pass - which takes us to ISTTG and the root of its story.

The two main characters of ISTTG - "Owen" and "Maddy" - are obsessed with a popular YA series, The Pink Opaque; which, between its credits font, its girl power themes, and monster-of-the-week format, is demonstrated to be an in-universe parallel to BTVS. The Buffy equivalent - or, the pink, pretty, sensitive, and powerful Isabel - is a point of utter fascination for "Owen."

there are no good stills of her online yet please forgive me

She is everything he wants to be, everything he is meant to be; and the time he spends with "Maddy", wearing a pink dress, a pink ghost drawn on the back of his neck, the pink glow of the TV vivid on his face, is the only time he feels anything approaching to happiness or peace. The very first sequence of the film establishes that "Owen" barely responds to his own name, that his father is a walking threat of what society commands him to become, and that his mother is loving but distant. Even later on, when he apparently has a "family of [his] own", we never even see their faces. Within the context of his life, he is little more than a ghost, going through the motions; and as the story goes on, it is revealed that "Owen" is Isabel, trapped in a false reality by Mr. Melancholy, the Big Bad of TPO. Her heart was carved out, she is drugged, and buried alive; and the sound of her slowly choking to death overlays "Owen's" steadily worsening asthma.

There is no denying the truth of that alternate existence by the end of the film. "Owen's" life is a nightmarish suffocation. Isabel is dying from a life of a boy she never was - in what is, explicitly, a transgender narrative.

The same story is directly mirrored by "Maddy."

Within the premise of ISTTG, she is the similarly trapped and suffocating "Tara"; or, the second half of the Pink Opaque - who, over the course of the film, discovers the truth of their reality, returns to the world of the TV show, and then comes back, unwilling to leave Isabel behind. However, what is particularly notable is that while her character's name is, of course, an homage to Tara Maclay (made all the more obvious via Amber Benson's cameo), the "Tara" of TPO is nothing like the soft-spoken, pastel-wearing witch.

Instead, she is a bold, loud punk with slicked-back hair and a leather jacket, who snarks at the monsters-of-the-week and speaks in poetry - she's Spike; and that provides the basis for her dynamic with "Owen" throughout the film.

In the world of BTVS, Spike is largely presented as a foil to Buffy's character. He is her thematic (and extremely sexually compatible) opposite; and that extends to his own relationship with gender. His story arc is defined by his struggle to be perceived as a man; on the Watsonian level, it is an identity persistently overshadowed by his vampirism - and in the Doylist sense, his poetry, occasional eyeliner, and painted nails might have something to do with that situation. Regardless, it is a significant factor in his narrative, both before and after his original, human death - to the point where he bonds with Buffy's mother, Joyce, specifically because she "treated [him] like a man"; and in the context of ISTTG, the same themes extend directly to "Maddy." In S5:Ep7 of BTVS (Fool for Love), Spike states that "getting killed made [him] feel alive for the very first time" - and when "Maddy" returns from the world of TPO, she explains that the only way to survive what Mr. Melancholy had done to them was to bury herself alive and die in the false world. Her statement is a monologue of slam poetry, spoken without interruption and illuminated by the steady blue of a high school planetarium; and while "Owen's" experience of blue lighting is usually aggressive and abrasive, "Maddy's" is soothing. It is right. It ties directly to what she is meant to be, even as her story inevitably terrifies "Owen" - who, much like Buffy, is not yet ready to face the truth of who he is or allow himself to indulge the desires he's buried for all his life.

From what I understand, the finale of the film has proven to be divisive; some interpret it as hopeful, others as crushingly bleak - but as a BTVS fan, and a trans man myself, I cannot see it as anything other than a peak of sheer, overwhelming panic that is only experienced at the very precipice of Change. My reason for it is rooted in the parallels between the respective season 5 finales of BTVS and TPO. For Isabel and "Tara," the story ends with their apparent defeat at the hands of Mr. Melancholy; and Buffy's ends with her sacrificing herself to save the world. She dies. She is buried. And then there's season 6. As such, inevitably, "Owen" is going to accept the truth of himself; he is going to die, Isabel is going to claw her way out of a grave - and when she does, only one person is going to understand what happened.

In conclusion - they are T4T. To me. And to Jane Schoenbrun, I suppose.

[go-go-devil]

I still really love the reveal that The Pink Opaque was always a show meant for much younger kids as opposed to the teen action show we're first presented with, but mostly due to how well the film tricks us into seeing it the way Owen & Maddie saw it.

Really it's so painfully obvious right from the get go that this is a kids show: Maddie defensively stating that its "too scary for kids" despite being on a young adult channel, the first episode we see having a plot revolving around wishing the ice cream man delivered ice cream all year long, the show's villains having very cutesy names, Isabelle & Tara's pink ghost tattoos being very cartoony, etc.

Yet we the audience see the Ice Cream Man as a grotesque monster with far more disturbing practical effects than the very low-budget real version. We see all the characters appearing older than they actually are. We see dark, dramatic themes of being trapped in a false identity slowly poisoned from the inside in the final episode only because by that point we've become JUST as personally invested in the show as our main characters do.

Upon getting to the reveal that what we saw wasn't actually a Buffy the Vampire Slayer kind of show but actually more along the level of Goosebumps, we end up questioning our memories of the show just as Owen did seeing it again after all those years because it seems so unreal! How can we possibly deny all the intense, compelling drama we just witnessed?!

One might call this a commentary on how nostalgia can blind us to a show's actual quality as we grow older, but personally I see it more as how one's attachment to a show can end up LITERALLY changing it into something else entirely.

Now I never watched Buffy and can't relate to all the references the film gives to it, but as someone who frequently watched My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as a teen despite not at all being the target audience I can heavily relate to what Owen and Maddie saw in The Pink Opaque.

It didn't matter that the show wasn't actually as intense and well-written as they thought, what mattered was that the show gave them EXACTLY what they needed at that time in their life. Owen saw herself in Isabelle, just as Maddie found her true self through her love for Tara. It allowed the pair to bond and form a real fulfilling friendship during hard times. Their warped memories of the show aren't stupid, they stem from what happens when a piece of art has such a profound effect on us to the point where it ends up shaping our very lives!

The Pink Opaque was never a groundbreaking show with any ounce of queer themes in its narrative, but it helped Owen realize she was trans, and in the end that's all that really matters. 💖👻

[darkostudios-blog]

SYDCARMY scene analysis

Idk what else to put here but uhhhh plz don’t steal 😵

[emblazons]

So I already pointed out that the Aerith "No Promises to Keep" song was emulating The Greatest Showman for the performance and high affection!Clerith aspect (likely because Loren Allred sings both)—

but what I didn't realize until I watched the TGS scene is that they pulled both romance options from it...only the high affection!Cloti scene handhold was inspired by Zac Efron & Zendaya's characters.

...honestly I'm not surprised, just amused they used so much from one place. This feels like finding all the parallels to Game of Thrones shots in FFXVI lmaooo

[ptsinkbaby]

Jane Schoenbrun's 'I Saw The TV Glow'

David Lynch's 'Twin Peaks: The Return'

My Chemical Romance's 'The Foundations of Decay'

[blush-and-books]

donna and harvey are also crazy because like. in my head they never really touch, but there's evidence against that, but it still doesn't convince me because they really don't seem to touch that much. their distance and lack of touch feels more emphasized by their physical distance either of her as his secretary at the desk outside or her working across the office for louis instead, even when her office is next door and she's COO, distance and barriers seem like such a common motif in their relationship that they feel like such a non-touchy duo and that's a thing that gets unlocked when they're finally together

[obscureloftgem]

—“The Color of Pomegranates” (1969) | By Sergei Parajanov

Song: Born to Die by Lana Del Rey.

[otherpeoplesheartachept1]

can we talk abt the music here because it is driving me INSANE

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

a streetcar named marge: a character study of marge simpson through the lens of tennessee williams

trigger warning for brief but not graphic mentions of assault & abusive behaviour throughout

wacky, absurd comedy ‘the simpsons’ has been airing since 1989 and remains an integral part of the pop culture ecosystem. its self-referential humour and parody structure work in conjunction with one another to effectively satirise the lives of lower-middle class america. set in the town of springfield, that shares its name with approximately thirty other towns across the states, the simpsons strikes the balance between relatable and outright absurd that keeps the show entertaining. the show slots neatly into the cultural zeitgeist of the 1990s and 2000s, and has constructed spoof after spoof of the significant political, social and pop culture moments of each season’s respective time period. most notably, the second episode of the fourth season titled ‘a streetcar named marge’ draws on tennessee williams’ ‘a streetcar named desire’, using the histrionic character of blanche dubois to create commentary on marge’s role in her relationship with her husband, homer. the episode’s main plot follows marge auditioning for and starring as blanche in springfield’s local production of ‘a streetcar named desire’ and depicts parallels between blanche and marge’s romantic lives. homer is likened to stanley kowalski, famously portrayed by marlon brando in the 1951 film adaptation of the play; a brutish, loud ‘uncouth lout’ who dominates both his wife and delicate sister-in-law. the core themes this comparison explores include the notion of animalised masculinity, marge’s passiveness and invisibility, and the idea that the character of blanche is used as a vehicle for marge’s unexpressed feelings regarding her husband.

williams’ descriptions of stanley throughout the play draw on a notion of animal masculinity; stanley is described upon his introduction to the audience as having ‘animal joy his being [which] is implicit in all his movements & attitudes…his heartiness with men, his appreciation of rough humour, his love of good drink and food and games…’ this description paired with blanche’s comment that he is ‘a little bit on the primitive side’ demonstrates the beginnings of a semantic field of animalism, characterising stanley’s masculinity as almost being below humanity, simply base and primal in comparison to his more humanised counterparts such as mitch and steve. we can also see these traits, particularly ‘rough humour…love of good drink and food’ echoed in homer simpson’s characteristic obsessions with food and beer that are consistent throughout the entire shows run so far. similarly, ‘a streetcar named marge’ has lewellyn sinclair, the director of springfield’s ‘a streetcar named desire’ production, aim to depict that ‘blanche…is a delicate flower being trampled by an uncouth lout-’. additionally, lewellyn gives ned flanders (who plays stanley) the direction that he is ‘pulsing with animal lust’, again referencing williams’ construction of animal masculinity that encourages the audience to view stanley’s desire as less than human.

to add to this semantic field that both the original play and simpsons episode share, ‘a streetcar named marge’ recreates the infamous ‘stella!’ scene wherein stanley screams his wife stella’s name from below her balcony in a desperate attempt to win her back after physically assaulting her. the simpsons replaces the original incident of domestic abuse with an example of homer’s weaponised incompetence instead, where he fails to pull the lid off his can of pudding in marge’s absence as she rehearses next door with flanders: ‘[screeches] oh no! …so i can open my own can of pudding, can i? shows what you know, marge.’ he then shouts ‘marge! hey marge!’ in the garden while marge looks on from flanders’ bedroom window, referencing stanley screaming for stella below her balcony. marge comments dryly, ‘keep yelling, you big ape.’ the use of the insult ‘ape’ serves to contribute further to the characterisation of homer / stanley as animalistic and dehumanised. both the simpsons and williams animalise masculinity to demonstrate the danger of it, presenting it as uncontrolled and wild in comparison to the average male. in this moment, the simpsons subverts the narrative of the original play. in williams’ original, stanley’s screams draw stella downstairs to him and they embrace as she ‘forgives’ his abuse. in the simpsons’ version, marge instead responds with contempt for her husband and appears disgusted and unforgiving. in the wider context of the show, marge is largely portrayed as a very passive housewife character, including in this episode. in the opening scene of this episode, the following exchange takes place:

HOMER

and where exactly are you going?

MARGE

i’m auditioning for a play.

HOMER

well, this is the first i’ve heard about it.

MARGE

i’ve told you several times. it’s a musical version of a streetcar na-

HOMER

excuse me, marge! i think if you told me, i would remember. i mean, i’m not an idiot!

MARGE

hm. well, i-i thought i told you. i’m sorry honey.

HOMER

it’s okay. we’re none of us perfect.

the audience is shown marge informing homer of the play multiple times before this exchange, to which he repeatedly and absentmindedly replies ‘sounds interesting.’ despite being in the right, marge timidly apologises to homer and accepts blame she does not deserve. this interaction contrasted with her later contempt for him demonstrates how the role of blanche has encouraged marge to see her husband’s flaws rather than ignoring or tolerating them as she usually does. additionally, marge’s initially failed audition again presents her as passive and defeated by her husband’s lack of support. lewellyn witnesses marge’s phone call to homer and recognises blanche’s delicateness and defeat in her:

MARGE 

(into the phone)

homie, i didn’t get the part. you were right. outside interests are stupid.

LEWELLYN

wait a minute.

MARGE

(into the phone)

[groans] i’ll come home right away. alright, i'll pick up a bucket of fried chicken, extra skin…rolls, chocolate cream parfait-

LEWELLYN

[snatches phone from marge]

stop bothering my blanche!

marge’s admission, ‘you were right. outside interests are stupid’, shows her beaten down by homer’s lack of support for her interests and suggests that she was ‘stupid’ for branching out outside of her duties as a parent and housewife. this echoes blanche’s eventual exhaustion and ‘defeat’ after stanley’s aggressive, dismissive and abusive treatment of her.

marge’s attitude towards abusive behaviour in general is notably submissive: when rehearing the scene where blanche breaks a bottle in order to attack stanley and defend herself, she struggles to get into character and gives a lacklustre performance. lewellyn encourages her, ‘passion, mrs simpsons, this man disgusts you.’ in a later rehearsal a few scenes later, marge argues, ‘i just don’t see why blanche should shove a broken bottle in stanley’s face. couldn’t she just take his abuse with gentle good humour?...i just don’t see what’s so bad about stanley.’ this is a clear reference to her relationship with homer, wherein she has consistently, throughout the show so far, responded to his boorish behaviour with passive disapproval, attempting to make light of the ridiculous or unkind situations that homer creates with his behaviour. lewellyn retorts with ‘stanley is thoughtless, violent and loud. marge, every second you spend with this man…he is crushing your fragile spirit.’ lewellyn’s description of stanley is interposed with homer’s comedic but frustrating attempts to use a vending machine wherein he screams and charges at the machine, and proceeds to honk repeatedly at marge from the car to rush her into leaving. this pushes marge to a breakthrough where she suddenly becomes genuinely angry at ‘stanley’ / homer, directing that fury at her stanley (flanders), who’s face morphs into homer’s:

[car horn honking]

HOMER

marge, move it or lose it!

MARGE

[lunging at flanders]

♪ i'll twist this bottle in your face ♪

LEWELLYN

hallelujah! i’ve done it again!

ned, you’re supposed to overpower her.

FLANDERS

[straining]

i’m trying, im trying!

this scene exemplifies the extent to which marge is usually subdued and quiet, by creating a stark contrast with the outburst she has here. lewlleyn’s reminder that blanche is ‘disgusted’ by stanley is reminiscent of marge’s very real but very repressed disgust at her husband. marge’s demeanour in the episodes leading up to ‘a streetcar named marge’ is largely resigned to homer’s typically thoughtless behaviour. comparing her usual quiet disapproval with her strong reaction to homer in this scene demonstrates the extent to which she usually fits the descriptions of blanche so far in the episode - that of a ‘delicate flower’ with a ‘fragile spirit.’ these comments on blanche’s character oppose those of stanley and paint the two as contradictory. stanley is a brutish ape whilst blanche is the flimsy rag doll in his grip. ‘a streetcar named marge’ relies upon this contrast to illustrate that marge and homer’s relationship is dominated by homer’s careless masculinity which serves to leave marge feeling resigned, defeated and unheard. however, while blanche becomes weaker over the course of the play and becomes less like herself due to stanley’s behaviour towards her, marge also becomes less like her usual self due to homer but becomes stronger and more assertive instead. the character of blanche serves as a vehicle for marge’s repressed resentments and frustrations and facilitates both her and homer’s understanding of their relationship.

homer’s eventual understanding of marge is illustrated by the final scene of the episode; homer congratulates marge on her performance as blanche and explains, ‘it really got to me how…blanche was sad, and how that guy stanley should have been nice to her…the poor thing ends up being hauled to the nuthouse…when all she needed was for that big slob to show her some respect.’ marge’s demeanour shifts and she reacts with ‘...homer, you got it just right.’ homer muses, ‘hey, you know, i’m a lot like that guy…like when i pick my teeth with the mail and stuff.’ the classic structure of a sitcom like the simpsons requires that things are resolved or return to the status quo by the end of each episode, and while marge and homer’s relationship becomes peaceful once again due to homer’s realisation, it is not necessarily returning to its previous state; if it did, their relationship would be strained due to homer’s lack of consideration for marge’s feelings. instead, marge finally feels seen. marge is understood and has asserted herself. as is suggested by the play’s title, ‘a streetcar named desire’ has desire itself as its core and central theme. the audience are shown stanley’s desire for sex and power, blanche’s desire for validation of her beauty, stella’s desire to have stanley’s baby. these desires are what drive the plot of the play and motivate each character to act in ways that push their desires into being realised. similarly, in ‘a streetcar named marge’, the audience are shown homer’s desire for food, drink and so on but more significantly, marge’s inherent desire to be seen. she makes repeated attempts for her family, particularly her husband, to notice her and take an interest in her endeavours which is consistently ignored until the end of the episode. the opening scene exemplifies this:

MARGE

i haven’t been in a play since high school…and i thought it would be a good chance to meet some other adults.

HOMER

(not looking away from the television)

sounds interesting.

MARGE

you know, i spend all day alone with maggie…and sometimes it’s like i don’t even exist.

HOMER

(still looking at the television)

sounds interesting.

marge’s invisibility within her family and within the wider context of springfield is interestingly addressed in raphael bob-waksberg’s fifteen-tweet poem entitled ‘does marge have friends?’ the poem explores marge’s role in the show via the lens of her relations to other people, e.g ‘who are marge’s friends? is helen lovejoy a friend? sarah wiggum? agnes skinner?’ the third stanza questions ‘who tells marge to leave the brute, knowing she won’t? ‘you don’t have to stay. you deserve so much more.’’ the use of ‘brute’ to describe homer is a sentiment that ‘a streetcar named marge’ hones in on, and is a descriptor that we can again see paralleled with the original ‘a streetcar named desire.’ as previously explored, stanley is described as ‘primitive’, a familiar adjective in the context of homer. additionally, bob-waksberg uses a hypothetical voice to tell marge ‘you deserve so much more’ to illustrate that there is no real friend in marge’s life to tell her this themselves. in williams’ original play, blanche’s isolation is also addressed and it is shown to make her an easier victim for stanley’s abuse; eunice reassures stella in the final act ‘she couldn’t stay here; there wasn’t no other place for her to go.’ blanche is alone aside from stella, who has her institutionalised, and this makes her all the more vulnerable as she has nobody to tell her not to accept abuse. this is another way in which ‘a streetcar named marge’ subverts source of its parody; where blanche is abandoned and becomes weak and ‘mad’ from stanley’s abusive behaviour, marge is empowered by the character of blanche and experiences the opposite of abandonment - she is finally seen and acknowledged. 

‘does marge have friends’ also touches on another moment where marge can be likened to blanche in a more roundabout way. as a succinct character study of marge, the poem alludes to her relationship with maude flanders. stanzas six to ten speculate on the nature of their relationship, asking ‘does she [marge] see in her late neighbour a cautionary tale? seldom-remembered, semi-anonymous maude - could this fate too befall marge?’ this is vaguely reminiscent of blanche’s relationship with stella in the sense that marge mourns maude and blanche mourns stella and while their respective reasonings are different, the central theme here is the mourning of a fellow woman for her ‘smallness.’ while marge mourns maude’s invisibility and sees the same in herself, blanche mourns stella for being dominated by stanley, a ‘common…animal’ and mourns stella’s insistence on forgiving his abusive behaviour as she does in the infamous ‘stella!’ scene. blanche says to her ‘you go out with a man like that once, twice, three times when the devil is in you, but to live with and to have a child by? well then i tremble for you…’ to blanche, stella is a cautionary tale of the consequences of accepting abusive behaviour from a ‘rough’ man, and as bob-waksberg puts it, ‘could this fate too befall’ blanche? it can and it does, as she concludes the play having been assaulted by stanley herself. it can be argued that blanche’s mourning of stella matches the way a hypothetical friend would mourn marge’s relationship with homer, worrying about her wellbeing in the face of his carelessness and strong personality. furthermore, bob-waksberg describes a hypothetical scenario between marge and maude that echoes blanche’s encounter with the local paperboy: ‘perhaps, once at a summer barbecue, when both were still alive, maude grabbed marge's hand under the table and held tight. what prompted this sudden connection, this sudden expression of— what was it, warmth? the two weren't close— acquaintances, sure, had they ever even hugged? and yet here they were, holding hands, silently, secretly, while their children shrieked and their husbands grilled the hot dogs.’ this moment depicted in the poem is soft, mundane and warm. in ‘a streetcar named desire’, scene five demonstrates these same themes, wherein blanche says to the paperboy ‘i want to kiss you - just once - softly and sweetly on your mouth.’ the direction then follows, ‘[without waiting for him to accept, she crosses quickly to him and presses her lips to his.]’ this exchange shows blanche seeking the same ‘sudden expression of…warmth’ that bob-waksberg discusses, echoing the same principle that in this interaction, ‘the two weren’t close.’ it must, however, be acknowledged that blanche’s advances on the young paperboy, while seeking warmth, were arguably predatory where marge and maude’s interaction is less romantically charged and more platonic and equal.

the final parallel to be noted between ‘a streetcar named marge’ and ‘does marge have friends?’ lies in the final five stanzas of the poem. bob-waksberg describes marge in her garden on a sleepless night, encountering maude over the fence: ‘maude, pale as a sheet, her eyes wet with tears.’ she goes on to say to marge ‘it’s not the calm before the storm that frightens me, it’s the calm that follows.’ this is evocative of blanche’s rise and fall through the play; the ‘storm’ in question being the assault carried out by stanley and the ‘calm that follows’ being her subdued but also hysterical, dreamlike-state in reaction to the assault that results in her being institutionalised. ‘a streetcar named marge’ depicts this ‘descent into madness’ by having marge / blanche fly around the stage on a harness with flashing lights and a smoke machine in the background, in typical overexaggerated simpsons fashion.

at its core, the simpsons is about dysfunctional american families. homer is both a ridiculous and exaggerated buffoon character but circumstantially lives the life of the average working class / lower middle class american man that stanley kowalski also lives. while homer’s unsupportive behaviour towards marge is often played off humorously throughout the show’s run, ‘a streetcar named marge’ uses the intensity of williams’ play to construct a legitimate criticism of homer’s actions and a commentary on marge’s invisibility, unexpressed resentments and her experiences of marital dysfunction. as the title suggests, ‘desire’ itself is at the core of both williams’ play and the simpsons episode based upon it, and marge’s inherently repressed desire to be seen and appreciated is finally realised via the adoption and subversion of williams’ classic play and its connotations regarding the transfer of power between characters. marge is finally seen by homer, and she no longer has to depend on the kindness of strangers.

[psykopaths]

In the Mood for Love (2000)

Dir - Wong Kar Wai

[michaelinprogress]

something about how the first thing Owen sees from The Pink Opaque is one of the girls saying “They can’t hurt you if you don’t think about it” and how he took that to heart and lived his entire life Trying Not To Think About It.

[sbblake]

Apostle (2018)

Aka, one of my very favorite horror movies <3

[neverkayzat]

Hi. I am the main account of the funny reblogging one. In this essay, I shall succumb to peer pressure.

Go crazy. Especially @1mm4d13 who convinced me to drop this, haha.

[gayiconwaluigi]

Twin Peaks and I Saw The TV Glow are really companion texts. Laura Palmer dies, and with that death, the normal facade of the town is peeled away, while when Maddy disappears, there is no fuss and no grand change. Maddy dies to find her actual world being run by nefarious supernatural beings. Her actual life isn’t banal suburbia. It’s evil. It’s life and death. She tries to peel back the reality of the Midnight Realm for Owen just as Agent Dale Cooper peels back the mysteries and horrors of Twin Peaks, while Owen pleads with her to go to the cops, to engage in the rules of the fake world they live in. Except in Twin Peaks, Coop is a visitor who leaves messages to Diane on his tape recorder, an outsider willing to believe in the supernatural, while Owen is a prisoner who speaks directly to the audience and cannot believe what Maddy has told him. While the whole world of Twin Peaks cracks and falls apart from Laura’s death and Coop’s investigation, revealing the town’s underbelly, Maddy’s death does not free Owen. Instead, the horrors simmer for decades, the facade of normalcy plodding on until the suffocating shell of existence breaks under exhaustion. You are trapped but in what way. And who is there to free you.

[nexus-my-beloved]

I think the beauty of "I Saw The TV Glow" is that you take what's relevant to you from the movie.

(Below is my whole review, of sorts.)

I finally watched the movie today after seeing people talk about it for a while. Everyone I'd seen that had talked about it had some gut-wrenching reaction and said it was so impactful and that it hurt them but also was really good. One person on TikTok went as far as to say that the movie felt like "getting into a car accident and getting up to go get groceries". I thought they were over exaggerating, because anytime I see others have heavily emotional reactions to pieces of media, I never had a reaction that extreme. With I Saw The TV Glow, though? That movie made me feel more than I have felt about any other movie. It's rare that any movie, show, or book has something I relate so heavily to in it. (The only other example I can think of that made me have even a split second of the reaction I did with ISTTVG was the scene where Riley ran away in the first Inside Out because of my own experiences with running and the contrast in how her parents readily accepted her home vs my own situation, but that's a story for another day.) Watching I Saw The TV Glow left me feeling almost numb and unsure how to feel for the next fifteen minutes because it'd felt like I'd been gutted and stitched back together poorly with fishing line.

I've heard stories about how some people watched it in theaters and heard other people say something about how the movie was stupid, or how the theater laughed at certain parts, or how people made homo/transphobic comments. According to another TikTok poster, they'd seen an early screening and another person that had seen the same screening put a review on the movie about how if they were in the director chair they could've fixed the movie. There was nothing to fix about it. People took what was relevant to them from the movie. The people in theaters full of people that didn't get it while they were in tears were so much more moved by the movie and I find it beautiful that a piece of media can work that way. To go over the heads of those who the message is not for but strike the hearts of those it was meant for? That's beautiful.

The description of the movie does not do justice to what it really was about. I can't even spoil really because the movie was so much more to me than the plot, but here's a little warning for certain parts of the movie towards the end, anyway.

I'd heard so many people say that the movie did really well with the transgender symbolism but I didn't expect it to be so well done until I saw it myself. I'd heard no one talk about the dissociation that was so well portrayed in the movie or the way the finding identity (or lack of finding it) was so important.

As soon as I heard Owen say that they didn't know what they liked on the bleachers I knew I was in for it. In the beginning of the movie, I was really confused, I didn't get how things fit together, but when they were talking to Maddy and said that they felt like there was nothing there and they didn't know what they liked it really hit me that the movie was going to be impactful. "I like tv shows" being the only thing Owen could come up with was something that seemed so little but was so important to me.

I Saw The TV Glow did really well with portraying the disconnect to life that I personally feel a lot. "I was 19, then I was 20.. then I was 21." The repeated line of "years seemed to pass like seconds" really hits hard when you've been feeling like life is going too quickly, like time is slipping away from you. The consistent time skips that made it seem like time was passing too fast added to that and it was so well done.

Whether you take it literally or metaphorically with the concept of Owen and Maddy really belonging to the show "The Pink Opaque", the way they were buried alive and suffocating and being put into a different world worked really well. Either it confirmed a feeling of being out of place because they really didn't belong and they felt like suffocating because they really were buried alive, or it worked as a metaphor for how going through life as the wrong person rather than embracing your identity feels suffocating. The difference between Maddy and Owen was that Maddy was willing to learn more of who she was, to embrace more of her identity. Owen, though, was afraid to, and despite knowing that who they were under the surface was there by the end, they still supressed it. The quote "There is still time" that Maddy wrote on the street was so impactful because it reassured that (to me, at least), not everything needs to be figured out, and even though we don't have infinite time, as long as we are alive there is still time to figure outselves out. Owen didn't take the advice, but it still gave that message to the audience and it was so well done.

Owen's monologue in the theater, wondering if Maddy was right and they really were someone "beautiful" was so impactful. Regardless if you took the movie literal or not, Owen thinking that maybe there was a chance they could find themselves beautiful and then writing it off as fantasy was the equivalent of every trans person who didn't allow themselves to transition and stayed in/went back into the closet because they didn't think they could be someone they'd really like. The speech by Mr Melancholy of "You won't even realize you're dying" hurt so much because no, you don't realize that not transitioning is hurting you until you give it a chance, usually. (I didn't, at least.) It hurt in such a beautiful way.

At the end, when Owen was working in the arcade, the machine saying "you're dying" and the clear panic attack they were having was so gut-wrenching. Watching them have that scream and everyone around them have no reaction was really symbolic of feeling like your skin isn't yours and you're hurting and feel like you're suffocating/dying and no one notices. That's exactly what it was, too - an entire room of people that didn't realize Owen was dying. The screaming for their mom, the apologizing to people that don't even care because they didn't even notice, it was so beautiful and so hurtful all at once. Owen cutting themselves open in the bathroom and seeing their identity, everything they were, was still there, but still covering it up and apologizing to the other workers.. hiding your identity and apologizing for the concept of even trying to be yourself hurts but it happens in real life, apologizing for feeling like you aren't allowed to be yourself.

I think what's better was the movie being marked partially as a horror movie despite it not really being "scary". The horror was more like the horrors of finding yourself/being yourself/realizing that time is passing. I saw another person somewhere say that the horror aspect was the fact that not everyone would get it and say that it was stupid, and I couldn't agree more. That is scary. Scary that people will see something so meaningful and not see anything about it/won't get it. It really sets the concept that there are some things (especially regarding trans identity) that a lot of people just don't understand.

I Saw The TV Glow was all about two people going through life, the dissociation as life goes by and time slips away, and the journey of identity (with one finding themselves and the other refusing to allow themselves to express who they were). That's what I got, at least.

Feel free to share your own opinions on it <3