#tv couples march madness

[deadinarussianelevator]

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[amomentsescape]

Do you do yanderes? Can you do a yandere jason voorhees and reader who honestly kinda likes the attention messed up affection?

Yandere! Jason with Reader Who Enjoys the Attention

Jason Voorhees x Reader

A/N: Not my most creative title, but it works I think. I've read a lot of yandere fics in my day, but this is my first attempt at writing one, so I hope you enjoy!

In your defense, you did start out terrified for your life

You spotted a tall figure standing outside your house almost every night for a month

You were freaked out of course, but he didn't really do much besides stare up at your window

However, it didn't take long before gifts were being left

Wilted flowers, pretty rocks, literally anything that Jason thought you might find interesting

You didn't know what to think at first

Was this some kind of test?

But as the gifts kept coming, you started to admire the thought put into them

Oddly enough, you were actually starting to like them

It was almost as if he was learning what you enjoyed

But things started to take a turn from there

The freshly picked flowers were replaced with bloody necklaces

The sparkling stones were now severed fingers and torn clothes

But for some messed up reason, it still didn't bother you

It was like he was showing just how far he was willing to go for you

You now even had a dedicated drawer for all of his gifts

You didn't keep the body parts of course, but you did bury them in a special spot outside in the backyard

However, you eventually started to feel lonely

Friends, neighbors, and even delivery drivers were frequenting your place less and less

You even saw on TV that a few of them had not been seen in several days

You had the sneaking suspicion that your secret admirer had to be at fault

But you could barely be mad

He was your only source of company now

And that is exactly how Jason wanted it

After a couple months, he had finally lost all resolve

He had to speak to you, hear you, get close enough to breathe you in

And now was the perfect chance since he could see just how lonely you were becoming

You felt a soft touch along your jaw in the middle of the night, startling you awake

The familiar figure stood above you, looking down at your form with a slight tilt of his masked face

Instead of screaming or pulling away like he thought you would do, you simply leaned into his touch more

That's all it took for Jason to throw you over his shoulder, marching out of the house with you in tow

It was too late for you to change your mind now

He was desperate to keep you

And you were somehow okay with this situation

He was utterly obsessed with you, and damn did that feel good

[princesssarisa]

Adventures in Wonderland (1992-1995): a detailed list of the Mad Hatter and March Hare's "Ship Tease" moments, Season 1

@hathousehappenings, @spikrock

The Disney Channel's Adventures in Wonderland was one of my favorite childhood TV shows, and it's one that I love to revisit now as an adult. Not only do its charms still hold up, but I can see certain nuances now that I missed when I was younger. Namely, how much the show's versions of the Mad Hatter and the March Hare seem like an adorable gay couple.

Now of course they couldn't make it overt: this was a kids' show in the early '90s, so officially, they're just best friends. But their actors, John Robert Hoffman and Reece Holland, are both gay in real life, and from an adult viewpoint, it shows.

So I've drawn inspiration from the long list on the Recess Wiki of T.J. and Spinelli's "Ship Tease" moments to create a similar list for the Hatter and Hare. Every moment between them that's particularly affectionate, suggestive, domestic, or just plain cute in a way that's not quite typical of platonic male friends.

I've rewatched every episode of Season 1 and compiled the list below the cut. Warning: it's long.

Herstory in the Making: The show’s first Hatter/Hare scene would work just as well between a married couple, as they face having to do “the grocery shopping” (it seems the writers hadn’t established yet that the two of them don’t live together) and as each one tries to foist the job onto the other. Later, in the story that all the Wonderland characters write for Alice, the Hare is described as “handsome” – it’s easy to guess that the Hatter wrote that part.

Lip-Sunk: When the Hatter pours tea for the Hare and offers him lemon for it, they smile affectionately at each other, their faces close together, and then giggle.

Red Queen for a Day: Their role in this episode consists of arguing over whether tarts or cookies are best to serve at a tea party: the phrase “like an old married couple” comes to mind.

Objects d’Heart: When the Hatter reacts with horror to the Queen giving her ugly statue to him, the Hare grips his hand to steady him. (Granted, the White Rabbit also holds his other hand and pats his shoulder, but the Hare grasps his hand with both of his own.) Later, when the Hatter calls the statue “a stately stone statue, a carefully crafted carving, a magnificent monolithic modern masterpiece,” the Hare gushes “Amazingly awesome alliteration!” in an adoring tone. And at the beginning of the sculpture garden scene, the Hatter is standing with his elbow on the Hare’s shoulder.

Arrivederci Aroma: During their duet, “Goodbye, Old Paint,” the Hatter and Hare go behind a screen together, then emerge having changed out of their regular clothes into overalls for painting. Meaning that behind the screen, they undressed in front of each other. Later, at the tea table, we find the Hare adding a condiment (pepper) to the Hatter’s cup of tea – silly, yes, but still an affectionate, intimate gesture.

The Bunny Flop: When the Hatter and Hare admit that the Queen’s missing shoe isn’t in the attic, they cutely finish each other’s sentence.

Pop Goes the Easel: The Hare grips the Hatter’s shoulder as they face the Queen to make an excuse for postponing the portrait-unveiling, and again in the final scene as they invent an explanation for the salt container in the painting. Their dance in their duet, “Your Picture is Worth a Thousand Words” also includes some shoulder-holding. And in at the Hatter’s house, as they cover the portrait in protective coating, their arms tangle together as if they were playing Twister.

That’s All, Jokes!: The episode opens with the Hatter and Hare pranking each other: first the Hatter tricks the Hare into drinking iced tea from a dribble glass, and then the Hare tries to trick the Hatter into eating a hot cross bun with spicy chiles in it. As they offer each other the prank treats, each one leans very close to the other and entices him to taste it in a sensual way, and each prank hinges on how well they know each other’s tastes: the Hatter knows that the Hare loves tea with lemon, while the Hare knows that the Hatter loves hot cross buns. Then when Tweedle Dum eats the spicy bun instead, the Hatter and Hare clasp each other’s hands and shoulders as they laugh at him together. Later, in the penultimate scene, they cutely exchange silent nudges and pokes to get each other’s attention during the Queen’s speech, and as everyone backs away when the Queen’s temper starts to flare, the Hatter grabs the Hare’s arm.

Forget Me Knot: Nothing much, but they do sing a cute duet in matching fake moustaches, “Give Us a Call,” when the Hatter is disguised as “Professor Memory.” The Hare’s “photographic memory” also includes several photos of himself and the Hatter together.

Boo, Who?: The Hatter and Hare bake a cake together throughout their duet, “Cooking with Candy”: a cute domestic scene. Then when they become ghost hunters and set a trap for the “ghost” in the Queen’s palace, and are explaining it, the Hare crouches down and hugs the Hatter’s leg to stop him from stepping on the rubber duckie and setting it off the trap too soon – just grabbing his leg with his hand would have sufficed, but instead he gives it a full-body hug! Later, as they’re watching for the ghost at night, they huddle shoulder-to-shoulder next to the Queen’s throne. Also, the Hare asks the Hatter if he can keep the ghost as a pet. You’d think he could make that decision on his own, but he asks the Hatter’s permission, as if they were roommates… or something more. (Again, it doesn’t seem to be established yet that the Hatter and Hare live in separate houses.)

Double Your Bunny: The Hatter is first seen lounging in a Cleopatra stance on top of the tea table as he faces the Hare, who sits in the opposite chair.

Diary of a Mad Hatter: The episode opens with a domestic scene of the Hatter and Hare cleaning the Hatter’s attic together. The Hare starts it by telling the Hatter that the attic needs cleaning, then immediately picks up a feather duster and starts dusting. This leads them to discover Great-Grandhatter’s diary. Later, they cutely nudge each other and laugh together about how “trees don’t bite.”

How the West Was Wonderland: When the Hatter shows off his selection of cowboy hats, the Hare serves as his assistant, handing them up from under the table. Then when they learn that the Queen needs a horse, they put on a two-person horse costume, the Hatter playing the front end and the Hare playing the rear end: they wear it for the rest of the episode and even sing a duet inside it.

The Rules of the Game: When the Hare sneezes in the middle of their duet, the Hatter stifles it by holding his finger under the Hare’s nose: a stock comedy gesture, yes, but an awfully intimate one. Then when the Miwok players form two-person teams, the Hatter and Hare insist that “of course” they’ll be partners. And when they finally explain to Alice that you can change the rules of the game at any time, they cutely finish each other’s sentence, ending it by speaking in unison.

Something to Sneeze At: The whole storyline revolves around the fact that the Hatter and Hare can’t stand to be apart, and so they try and try again to find ways to be together despite the Hatter’s apparent allergy to the Hare. The Hatter calls him “my Hare” when he says that he doesn’t want to lose him, and their utter sadness at being forced to avoid each other is made clear throughout the episode. So is their utter joy in the end when they finally solve the problem. Also, during the Hatter’s second sneezing fit near the beginning, the Hare holds tissue after tissue to the Hatter’s nose with each sneeze. As with the Hatter stifling the Hare’s sneeze in the previous episode, you’d think an ordinary platonic friend would let him do that himself. And when they try to have a “TV party” (a proto-Zoom meeting from today’s perspective), the Hare asks, “How do I look?” and flaunts his face close to the camera for the Hatter.

Off the Cuffs: At the beginning before the Hare’s magic trick, the Hatter gives a big spiel and sings a musical number about what an amazing magician the Hare is. Then he serves as his assistant. Later, when the Hare finally remembers that the key labelled “This is not the key to the trick handcuffs” really is the key to the trick handcuffs, the Hatter affectionately exclaims “Hare, you are so clever!”

The Wonderland Enquirer: At the beginning of the Tweedles’ flashback, the Hatter is once again lounging Cleopatra-style on the table while the Hare sits beside him, and they sigh happily and smile at each other while remarking what a lovely day it is for tea and crumpets. Later, as they set the table for the next tea party, the Hare exuberantly praises the Hatter’s parties, first in dialogue, and then by singing a song, “The Host with the Most.” In the subsequent scene, when the Hatter cries because Alice won’t eat his crumpets, the Hare tenderly pats his shoulder, then grips his arm when they read the “Hatter Serves Stale Crumpets” headline in the paper.

The Hatter Who Came to Dinner: As the Hatter trims the Queen’s shrubbery, the Hare stands under the ladder and spots him, ignoring the leaves and branch pieces that shower down on him. After the Hatter hurts his back, the Hare fusses over him and looks after him throughout the rest of the scene, even saying “Ow, ow ow!” with him as if in sympathetic pain while helping him down from the ladder. The next day when the Hare comes back to visit the Hatter, and the Hatter first starts to get up from the bed during his solo song, the Hare gently tries to coax him to lie back down at first, like a spouse would. Then when the Hatter invites the Hare to stay at the palace with him, the Hare responds by leaping onto the bed and reclining next to him. And in the final scene, when Tweedle Dee says that what matters is that the Hatter is feeling better, the Hatter and Hare say the Hatter’s catchphrase, “How true that is!” in unison. (This episode also includes a scene of the Hatter sharing the White Rabbit’s bed at night, and in his sleep, he seems oddly determined to throw himself across the Rabbit’s body, then giggles as the Rabbit accidentally tickles him while trying to move him back to his own side.)

For Better or Verse, TechnoBunny: Nothing much, but these episodes do include two of the most fun Hatter/Hare duets: “Professional Diagnosticians” and “Robot Recipe,” respectively.

Party-Pooped: The Hatter/Hare feud episode plays out like a breakup, with all the other characters finally conspiring to bring their favorite couple back together. To begin with, the Hatter’s complaints about the Hare’s inconsiderate behavior sound almost like a stereotypical wife’s complaining about an inconsiderate husband, and he even claims that the Hare has “hurt [his] feelings.” Then as they argue about whether the Hare should apologize or not, their faces come very close together, almost close enough for a kiss: the TV Tropes phrase “belligerent sexual tension” comes to mind. (The show’s “blooper reel” has a funny alternate take of this moment, where the Dormouse calls them both idiots and orders them to make up, then adds “Happy Valentine’s Day!”) And after the Hatter calls the Hare “not my real friend” and the Hare storms away, the Hatter’s expression shows that he’s instantly horrified and remorseful, but his ego won’t let him admit it. During their split, it’s evident that they’re still preoccupied with each other; their chief focus is on hosting rival parties and each trying to outdo the other’s. The climactic party scene at the Queen’s palace is the real shipper’s field day, however. It looks like a Valentine’s Day party, with romantic-looking red heart decorations everywhere. Ostensibly this is just because the Queen is the hostess, but she’s never used heart decorations this lavishly before. Then the Hatter and Hare discover each other’s presence by accidentally finding themselves chest-to-chest. After they still snub each other, and the others huddle up to form Plan B, what they do in the background is worth noticing: despite the show they make of refusing to speak or look at each other, they still don’t leave each other’s side, and keep stealing stealthy glances at each other. Then, when the others confuse them, not only do they start speaking to each other without thinking, but the Hare even uses the Hatter’s usual catchphrase, “How true that is!” And when all the others startle them by exclaiming “Aha!” they instinctively grasp each other’s arms. Throughout Alice’s subsequent song, “Back on Speaking Terms,” she and the other characters try to literally push the Hatter and Hare into each other’s arms, and try to join their hands too, no matter how many times they pull away. And at the end, after getting caught up in the dance, the Hatter and Hare finally voluntarily join hands, which is followed by their finally making up.

Up and Anthem: The Hatter and Hare end “The Wonderland Polka” by leaning against each other shoulder-to-shoulder.

Pretzelmania: When the Hatter and Hare react with shock to Alice guessing that their invention is a pretzel machine, the Hare grabs the Hatter’s arm and shoulder. They also do a little arm- and shoulder-grabbing during the reveal of the pretzel machine. The Hare grabs the Hatter’s arm again at the reveal that the Queen’s ring is missing, while the Hatter puts a comforting/steadying hand on the Hare’s shoulder after they, the Rabbit, and Alice accidentally knock their heads together. Then, when the Hatter says “Search me!” (meaning “I don’t know”), the Hare takes it literally, and starts patting and examining the Hatter’s jacket and chest to search for the ring, with the Hatter willing and happy all the while.

White Elephant Sale: Nothing much, but they do sing a nice duet, “White Elephants into Gold,” which ends with the Hare calling the Hatter (and the Hatter calling himself) “a very brilliant guy.”

Rip-Roaring Rabbit Tales: The Hare grasps the Hatter’s arm and shoulder when the White Rabbit says he’s come on official business.

Happy Boo Boo Day: Again, the Hare grabs the Hatter’s arm a couple of times during their duet “Shh, Surprise!”

What Makes Rabbit Run: Nothing much, but they do sing a fun duet and have cute moments of finishing each other’s sentences.

Friday the Umpteenth: The episode opens (after the theme song) with the Hatter and Hare together in domestic mode, cleaning the Dormouse’s teapot. Then, after they learn about Friday the 13th’s “bad luck,” they spend most of the rest of the episode in a state of anxiety, and frequently grab each other’s arms and shoulders.

Pizza de Resistance: Nothing much, but they do sing a fun duet, “It’s All Up Here,” and share a domestic scene as they cook their “pizza” (meatloaf) together.

A Litter Help from My Friends: They sing another fun duet, “A Picnic on a Bun,” where they build a giant submarine sandwich together, and at one point playfully “fence” with the knives. Then, when the White Rabbit says they have a big problem and the others gather anxiously around him, the Hare grabs the Hatter’s shoulder.

Busy as a Spelling Bee: The Hare precisely remembers the last time the Hatter went bowling and what he was wearing. Then when they decide to go put on their bowling clothes, the Hare says, “Let’s split!” and the Hatter replies “Spare me.” And their duet, “Pick a Word, Any Word,” ends with them sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.

Hic-Hic Hooray: Nothing much, but their duet, “Just Another Miracle of Modern Science,” does include shoulder-touching, and at one point the Hatter grooms the Hare’s ears for him while he looks in a mirror.

He’s Not Heavy, He’s My Hatter: First, there’s the title, if we assume it’s from the Hare’s perspective: “my Hatter.” Within the episode itself, the Hare comfortingly pats the Hatter’s shoulder when he cries about how tempting it is to eat cookies, and staunchly keeps his promise to the Hatter to hide the cookies and not let him eat any more. At the end, when the Hatter realizes he’s lost weight from all the exercise he got looking for the cookies, the Hare proudly exclaims “You’re so smart, you fooled yourself!” and in the song “It’s Great to Be in Shape,” he sings “We like that eye appeal” about the Hatter’s slimmed-down figure.

Invasion of the Tweedle Snatchers: Twice when the “aliens” first speak to the Hatter and Hare, the terrified Hare leaps up into the Hatter’s arms and the Hatter holds him “bridal style.” And even after the Hatter puts him down, they still cling to each other in fear. Throughout the whole episode, as in other episodes they spend in a stage of anxiety, they repeatedly clutch each other’s arms and shoulders.

Bubble Trouble: When the Hatter and Hare come to dip their “tootsies” in the spring, the Hare tickles the bottom of the Hatter’s foot and the Hatter giggles. Later, they share a domestic scene with the song “Scrub-a-Dub-Dub,” as they wash dishes together.

Welcome Back Hatter: The episode opens with the Hatter and Hare making a list of all the things they plan to do together, and then they talk extensively to Alice about how inseparable they are. As the Hatter says, “Has a Hatter ever had a better friend?” he puts his arm around the Hare and pulls him close. But then, of course, the plot kicks in: the Hatter wins a far-away castle in a contest and prepares to move. Throughout the episode, the Hare is utterly heartbroken, yet for the Hatter’s sake he tries to seem happy for him and urges the others to do the same. Meanwhile, the Hatter is too ecstatic about his new castle at first to see the Hare’s sadness or realize his own sadness at leaving him, but gradually it sinks in. First, in the attic, he consoles the Hare by assuring him that he can come visit him; then, after the Hare leaves at the end of the scene, the Hatter has a delayed reaction to the Hare’s remark that the castle will have everything “…except me,” and gazes after him, then looks deeply troubled. In the same scene, the Hare’s “By the way, Hatter… I hope you love your new castle” reads almost (or maybe entirely) like an aborted declaration of love. Ditto for their eventual goodbye, where they both pretend to be happy but clearly aren’t at all. Meanwhile, the Hatter leaves his house and all his belongings to the Hare as a gift. But after he leaves, the Hare can’t bear to move in because there are too many memories and is too depressed even to drink tea. But inevitably, the Hatter comes back in the end: it turns out that all he won was a tiny toy castle. Their joyful reunion features the ultimate musical tribute to their bond, the duet “Welcome Back, Hatter,” with the refrain “Hatter and Hare, quite a pair!” The song is set to a montage of funny Hatter/Hare moments from throughout the season, which the two of them watch on Crystalvision, patting and grasping each other’s arms as they laugh nostalgically all the while.

[talanashta]

Missing Piece

For the prompt "mixed orientation relationship" here for @fourormore

Rating: T | No CWs | Word Count: 1162 | Pairings: QPR Stobin, (Background) Spicy Six Plus Chrissy Polycule Additional Tags: Weird Stobin, Platonic Romance, Robin's POV

Continuation of the "my lonely days are gone" series. Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

A/N: Thank you to @devondespresso for their help on this fic!

Steve was everything to her. Before that night in the mall bathroom, before being captured by the Russians, she hadn’t realized she was missing so much of herself, feeling so hollow inside, but once they got home from the hospital that night, she felt it. Being whole for the first time ever.

She hadn’t realized, but she started crying as soon as her parents started walking her away from Steve to take her home. They were barely down the hallway and out of sight from him when she let out a high-pitched whine, freaking her mom out like crazy. (She felt like she was dying. Like someone was carving that newly found piece of herself out of her chest. She had no idea what was happening; she still hadn’t realized that piece was there just yet.)

Then, footsteps came running down the hall to them, and Steve burst around the corner, throwing his arms around her, and that was it. He ended up coming home with her that night, her parents not even bothering to try and separate them.

The next morning, all her mother said was, “He seems like a really sweet boy. Just try not to get pregnant before you finish school, Birdie,” ignoring the face Robin made at her.

As summer wound on, she began to understand maybe why her parents thought they were a couple. They spent most nights together – either the whole night or at least the evening. Her parents weren’t big TV watchers, so when Steve came over, they’d snuggle on the couch and put on whatever they wanted. Then on nights where the nightmares were bad, he’d crawl into her window. (Her parents put the kabosh on him staying the night after the first week or so after Starcourt. Liberal hippies they may be, but she wasn’t 18 yet, so she ‘couldn’t be having sleepovers like that yet’, and no amount of explaining got them to think she and Steve weren’t dating.)

She spent a lot of time at his house too. Mostly any time his parents weren’t home, which was… most weeks now. (According to Steve, his parents left full-time as soon as he turned 18, only visiting occasionally to make sure he hadn’t burned their house down.)

When they weren’t together, she felt like she was lost at sea with no land in sight. She knew he felt the same way, too; he’d confessed it to her one night in August, whispered under the covers in the dead of night. (She was so mad some days at Nancy Wheeler for how much she hurt Steve, and while she knew Steve had long forgiven Nancy, she thought she never fully would. She’d always carry that grudge for Steve, since he was too kind-hearted to.)

(Where Steve fell short, she made up for it. Where she struggled, he picked up the slack.)

Come October, they started a new job together. (She bullied Keith into scheduling them together for most of their shifts, but she was still in school, so sometimes they had to be separate while he worked days.) The Family Video was nice enough.

With her days filled spending time with Steve, the school year seemed to fly by. Right up until March, when Vecna-slash-Henry-slash-One made his grand appearance. (She was missing the prints now on some of her fingers.)

After that, Chrissy and Eddie joined the group.

One day at work, Steve pulled her into the grimy bathroom, the two of them sitting leaned against opposite walls. “I think I like Eddie,” he told her.

“I know,” was all she needed to say back. (Of course she knew. She knew Steve like breathing.)

“He’s dating Chrissy.”

“Yeah.”

“I really like both of them.”

“I like Chrissy, too.”

“Fuck.”

It ended up working out, all four of them. (Which was quite the surprise to her, honestly. And very… forward-thinking for a place like Hawkins. But since there were four of them, two boys and two girls, it was easy to hide. After all, no one ever believed her when she said she wasn’t dating Steve.)

So SteveandRobin became SteveandRobinandChrissyandEddie in their friends’ minds (which was quite a mouthful). They even started all sleeping in the same bed long before they all moved in together.

No matter how close she got with Chrissy, though, or how close Steve got with both of them, it never felt like they felt about each other. (She could feel it deep in her chest. When she died, it’d be the two of them together, whether that was in sixty years or six – hopefully not that soon, but she never knew, what with the Upside Down. She’d never be without him again, and he’d never be without her.)

(If they could become one person, they would.)

(They were already almost there anyway.)

Nancy and Jonathan and Argyle moved in, eventually. She liked Argyle, and Jonathan was okay. Nancy was… pretty, and sometimes they slept together for fun. (But she’d never forget what happened to Steve.)

Still, she and Steve didn’t change.

The kids got older, and the seven of them had additional partners come and go. People they liked outside their Party that weren’t involved in the Upside Down. No one was permanent like the seven of them were. (Though Eden came close. She just didn’t want to move in with them. Robin understood. Why would you want to move out of one rowdy household just to move into another?)

Still, they stayed the same.

Then he proposed. (This wasn’t really a surprise to her, in the end. Without a ring on her finger, no one outside their small group acknowledged how important they were to each other.)

“My parents are going to think they were right all along.”

“I know. Do you think they’d care if I became a Buckley too?”

“They’d love it. Especially my dad.”

“Really?”

“Of course. They love you.”

They kissed for the first time at the ceremony, and it felt like coming home. (There was no heat or passion when they kissed, but she could feel the platonic love coming from him as their lips met.)

So it ended up not being the last time. He’d peck her in greeting sometimes, or she’d kiss him goodbye. (Never anything more or less than a quick meeting of their lips, but it still felt more intimate than anything she’d ever done before.)

(She never kissed any of the other guys in their group, and she never would. Just Steve. He was always different.)

(He would always be different.)

And now they were married, and no one could keep them apart.

(God, she wasn’t looking forward to birthing six kids for this man.)

(...)

(Of course, she wanted to have kids with him. Just… birth? She watched the same video as everyone else in Sex Ed, and she was not looking forward to getting those kids out, is all she could say.)

(The things she did for him.)

[fuckingstrange]

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| Day21: Faking Sick or not well? |

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WARNINGS: Seasonal depression mention, Caring Reid, implied late seasons Reid but it's wtv

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WORDS: 469

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PAIRING: Spencer Reid x m!reader (refers to reader as "man" one time)

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Rushed ASF bc it's the 23rd (like 4am) and I gotta get three fics out by the end of today so I don't feel like a mad man going to jail for missing so many days already

You sit on the living room couch, nearly half asleep as Tom and Jerry plays on the TV. You're still in the same pajamas as three days ago, when you had gotten drowned in a wave, more like a tsunami, of depression. 'tis the season for messy depression. It was all you could even think to do to call Hotch and claim you're sick, not wanting the team to worry about you or show up at your house because you didn't show up to work unannounced.

It's around 6pm when your front door opens, your gaze remaining on the TV. If it's a burglar, they'll find out there's nothing worth taking. It's not until a bag full of Chinese takeout lands on your field of vision on the coffee table that you look at who it is that came inside.

You're met with Reid, his brows furrowed as he stares at your scruffed up appearance, the matted clothes, messy hair, darker than usual eyebags all just confirming his suspicion on why you weren't really at work. He takes a step back, turning around and marching off to the kitchen. He returns not a minute later with two forks, shoving one in your open hand that slightly dangles off the couch.

“Eat.” He orders, grabbing a small thing of fried rice and putting it in your other hand. You sit up with a groan, adjusting yourself so you can lean your upper back against the arm of the chair. You don't argue, simply open up the small takeout container and begin slowly eating, gaze still on the cat and mouse running around on your TV.

Reid begins eating as well, though his gaze is on you rather than the cartoon. He takes a bite right after you do each time, making sure you're eating with him. “You didn't have to do this, y'know.” You mumble, taking another bite of the fried rice, attempting to put it down but hearing Reid’s near growl of disapproval you're quickly pulling it right back close and scooping up some more. “Yes, I did. I knew you weren't sick the day Hotch told us you called out of work. You never take sick days, even when you're sick, I have had to drag you out of there and into your damn bed when you couldn't go thirty minutes without vomiting a couple months back.” He argues.

You just shrug in response, “Well, if anybody asks..” trailing off, with the fried rice still in one hand, you use the other to slowly cover your mouth and make a fake coughing sound. Reid gives a soft scoff, followed by a light chuckle. “Just eat your damn dinner, man.” He says, reaching over to give your leg a light nudge. His action pulls a tiny smile from you.

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Today - March 12th, 1974 - Queen Story!

Interview with Freddie Mercury – NME

by Julie Webb

It was clear for all to see that Queen’s Freddie Mercury wasn’t in the best of health. His hair lacked the recent attention of heated curling tongs; a cold sore was erupting above his upper lip; and horror – seems he’d not been able to summon enough strength to apply Biba black nail polish to more than one hand.

Mercury was worried as the camera lens zoomed in on him. He beseeched us to “touch up the picture to remove the cold sore if you can.”

I know it sounds like we’re setting the guy up, but he takes it all in good heart. Why, last time we met he stated he was “gay as a daffodil” – and here he was, willingly holding a daffodil in hand, outside Buckingham Palace. He posed regally, shirt temporarily coming unhitched from his trousers, revealing a hairy chest.

The British tour sapped most of the Mercury energy. Bedridden with laryngitis when it finished, he had just a few free days to repair any mental or physical damage before Queen joined Mott The Hoople on their two-month tour of America.

He is, in short pretty knackered – and if the American tour seems to be happening too soon after Britain, there’s no way he can change things.

I’d like a couple of weeks off, but you’ve got to push yourself. But we’re at a stage in our careers, my dear, where it’s just got to be done. I shall be resting on my laurels soon…”

He stops, considers the last remark and realises he may have said the wrong thing. Hurriedly he comes in with, “To put it another way, I shall try and reap my profits. I’ve worked my ass off these past few months. I’ve worked till I’ve dropped and after a while you physically can’t do it.”

Didn’t he think the British tour was a bit too busy, what with so many gigs included. “Yes it was a heavy tour, but it put us in a different bracket overnight. It’s a tour we had to do and I think now we’ve done it we can do the next British tour on our own terms, exactly how we like.

“With this tour we were booked in well beforehand at semi-big venues and, by the time we came to doing them, we had the album out, we’d got a bit of TV exposure and everything escalated. I think if we’d waited we could have done all the big venues – it’s just a matter of timing. But I’m glad we did the tour when we did. Even though there was a lot of physical and mental strain – so many things to worry about other than the music.”

A situation not improved by the fact that all members of Queen are, according to Mercury, “very highly strung”. Add to that his admitted bad temper. “I’m very emotional. Whereas before, I was given time to make my decisions, now nearly all of us are so highly strung we just snap. We always argue but I think it’s a healthy sign because we get to the root of the matter and squeeze the best out. But lately so much is happening, it’s escalating so fast that everybody wants to know almost instantly, and I certainly get very temperamental.”

“You’ve got to know where to draw the line. But the public always come first – it’s a corny thing to say but I mean it. Lately I’ve been throwing things around which is very unlike me. I threw a glass at someone the other day. I think I’m going to go mad in a few years time; I’m going to be one of those insane musicians.”

It’s at this point that I begin to wonder about Mercury. On stage he lords it around like some old slag. Offstage, he’s vain, camp – yet a nice enough dude.

He just has an unfortunate way with him during interviews, coming out with quotes and stories that are bound to be misconstrued or lay him wide open to mickey-taking. This could well account for some of the unkind press the band have received.

“I think, to an extent, we are a sitting target because we gained popularity quicker than most bands and we’ve been talked about more than any other band in the last month, so it’s inevitable. Briefly, I’d be the first one to accept fair criticism. I think it would be wrong if all we got were good reviews – but it’s when you get unfair, dishonest reviews where people haven’t done their homework that I get annoyed.” Unlike many British bands, they’ve waited until the time was right and are appearing on the same bill as Mott, who will assuredly pull in large crowds.

So the present and the future seem well assured I enquire about the past – like, what kind of family background does a guy like Mercury have?

“Middle-class. Musicians aren’t social rejects any more. If you mean; Have I got upper class parents who put a lot of money into me? Was I spoilt? – no. My parents were very strict. I wasn’t the only one, I’ve got a sister, I was at boarding school for nine years so I didn’t see my parents that often. That background helped me a lot because it taught me to fend for myself.”

Boarding school… if we are to believe stories that circulate about boarding schools – brutish behaviour, homosexual goings-on – well, the mind positively boggles in Freddie Mercury’s case.

I broach the subject…

“it’s stupid to say there is no such thing in boarding schools. All the things they say about them are more or less true. All the bullying and everything else. I’ve had the odd schoolmaster chasing me. It didn’t shock me because somehow boarding schools… you’re not confronted by it, you are just slowly aware of it. It’s going through life.”

So was he the pretty boy who everyone wanted to lay?

“Funnily enough, yes. Anybody goes through that. I was considered the arch poof.”

So how about being bent?

“You’re a crafty cow. Let’s put it this way, there were times when I was young and green. It’s a thing schoolboys go through. I’ve had my share of schoolboy pranks. I’m not going to elaborate further.”

Oh dear. And just when we were doing so well.

📸 Pic: 1974 - Freddie Mercury posing

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In advance of Taskmaster season 18 starting, I found Andy Zaltzman's old episodes on a couple of Alex Horne podcasts, and listened to those. This sent me down a route of finding various Zaltzman appearances on podcasts, and I was reminded that there's an entire Zaltzman-hosted thing that's easy to find that I've never heard. It's his "Summer of Sport", which was a podcast he did for The Guardian throughout summer 2016, discussing the various sporting things happening. Rio Olympics, obviously. Also other stuff. I think there was cricket on.

It's weird that I've not listened to that before, and that it's not even something I think of if I think of Andy Zaltzman's career, even though I know Andy Zaltzman's career very well. I know Andy's pre-Bugle career because that's Chocolate Milk Gang stuff; I have studied that era in, probably, far too much detail. And anything he's done since The Bugle started, I know about it because I've heard it plugged on the podcast.

But Summer of Sport fell through a crack, as the John Oliver era of The Bugle ended in March 2016, and the reboot started in October 2016. This one little six-month window of Andy Zaltzman's career where I don't know what was going on, and he hosted a whole 12-episode podcast without me noticing. I mean, I was vaguely aware that it existed for some reason, but didn't really know what it was until I came across it this weekend.

So I picked a couple of episodes that had guests I wanted to hear from, and downloaded them. I think I'll end up listening to the whole thing, but I've started with that. And I'm not hugely proud to say I started with a Russell Howard episode because it had Russell Howard. It also had Steve Williams, a guy I know three things about: he's a Welsh stand-up, he appeared in that Comedians' Football video on YouTube (on the non-Avalon team... which might be why I know so little about him), and he wrote on Russell Howard's TV shows.

I will still be annoyingly quick to click on any podcast that has Chocolate Milk Gang person + Russell Howard, because they'll bring out the CMG-type humour that Russell Howard does sometimes, which I still quite enjoy.

It is odd that Russell Howard is still quite near the list of comedians whose voice I've spent the most hours listening to. 125 hours of the BBC 6 Music show with Jon Richardson, plus all his Mock the Week, plus every episode of Good News and nearly every one of The Russell Howard Hour (minus the last few, when I gave up on it after he started throwing in the alt-right stuff) - that adds up. It's all stuff I watched earlier in my time getting into Britcom though, a few years ago. Basically, Taskmaster was the first thing I watched, and Russell Howard was one of my very favourites on Taskmaster (I didn't even know when I first watched season 6 that he was one of the most famous ones, I just knew I found him the funniest and most interesting), so one of the first things I did after that was look up what else he'd done, and it turns out there's a lot. I watched all his stand-up DVDs before I got into most other people's stand-up, when I was mainly watching panel shows - so I quite liked those stand-up DVDs, but I'm pretty sure I was easily impressed by generic charm and would be less impressed if I re-watched them now.

He was also the first British comedian I saw in person, in early 2022 when my then-girlfriend got us tickets because she knew I liked British comedy and saw Russell Howard coming to town and she didn't know that I was mad at Russell Howard for bringing Jordan Peterson on his TV show, and I didn't tell her that because it was a nice gift so we went, and to be completely honest, we had a fantastic time. Did he have the best material in the world? I don't know, probably not? But he had some pretty good material and a lot of fun stage presence and the night felt exciting and electric I hadn't been to in-person comedy besides my local clubs before, and he was a lot of steps up from that (actually that's not quite true, I saw Trevor Noah in an arena in 2019, which was not great). He'd done a bit of local research and talked shit about the truckers who'd recently taken over our city and that got massive cheers from the crowd and then there was one moment when he muttered that even though they'd gone about it badly you had to admit they had a couple of good points, and I thought "Fucking hell Russell do not do this now, for the sake of the 125 hours I spent listening to you talk on the radio in 2007 when you were cool, please just be that guy tonight and don't fucking ruin this", and then he didn't, no more right-wing stuff, just impressions of family members that I probably enjoyed too much.

Russell Howard is actually back in my city this month, he's done one night here a couple of weeks from now. I have to admit I briefly considered getting tickets. I am curious as to what sort of material he's doing these days. Curious as to whether his comedy would hold up, in my eyes, now that I've seen a lot more stand-up (almost definitely not, but I'm curious). Curious as to whether he's turned around the right-ward political drift, or doubled down on it. Though ideally I'd like to find that out in a way where I don't give him money, in case it turns out to be the latter. And I have to admit... okay, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have bought a ticket anyway, but the thing that made me decide to definitely not buy a ticket is I remembered that I read somewhere he had a kid earlier this year. So the show will presumably be about that, and I don't want to hear that. Yesterday I watched John Kearns' The Varnishing Days and thought that was absolutely brilliant, earlier this year Anne Edmonds released her special Why Is My Bag All Wet and I found that hilarious, and a few months ago I heard Josie Long do an hour-long WIP that I loved. All three of those stand-up shows were about the comedians' kid(s), and it is so unlikely that I'm going to find four parenthood-based stand-up shows in one year that I like, given my general aversion to the topic. I realize it's not great that the threat of parenthood material put me off a show even more than the threat of right-wing material, but I just can't listen to another person tell me how tiring it is to raise a baby.

Anyway. I was trying to think, today, of why I keep being interested in hearing Russell Howard talk even though I know he's not that great, and it occurred to me today that of all the British comedians, Russell Howard's the one who's most like most people I know in real life. I've written lots before about which comedians' personas or material most remind me of myself, and of course I like those, everyone likes some relatable comedy. I almost never find Russell Howard relatable (except sometimes on Taskmaster, when the ruthlessly competitive side came out, which was what made me like him so much in the first place), but he does strongly remind me of so many people I know, just overall, in a broad variety of ways.

I've pointed out some of those individual ways before. I knew that part of why I got so drawn into that BBC 6 Music radio show is it reminded me of a couple of my own friendships that strained and/or disintegrated in the same ways as whatever the hell the Jon Richardson/Russell Howard relationship went through on live radio for a couple of years, with me being and OCD obsessive like Jon Richardson (not using the term in the annoyingly quirky colloquial way there, I've got a diagnosis and also have several disintegrated friendships to prove it is not just a fun quirk) and Russell Howard reminding me of some of my more carefree and easily distracted and sunny-dispositioned friends. Russell Howard's vague right-ward political drift is a pattern that I'm sure I'm one of many people who's seen it play out lots in real life from the last ten years, when you know someone who's otherwise cool and then suddenly they're telling you that actually, if you'd just stop and actually read Jordan Peterson's books and consider what he's saying, you'd realize he has some pretty interesting insights that could benefit us all. And you wonder if they've changed suddenly, or if they were always like that and you never really knew them. For comedians who are all desperately seeking ground that hasn't been covered 10,000 times for their material (yes, we all know that raising a baby is hard, we've heard it before), I think the "friend goes right-wing an you wonder if whether they've changed or whether you never really knew them" phenomenon happens far more often than it's been talked about; there's an area of life that's been disproportionately under-covered. Though it maybe it doesn't happen all that often to comedians, what with the liberal bubble and all. That mythical liberal bubble that sounds like such a lovely place to live. It must have happened to some comedians, though. The ones who hang out with Russell Howard, for a start.

Anyway, I found Russell Howard's ComCom episode absolutely fascinating, it's one of my favourite episodes of that podcast. He talks in ways I've rarely heard comedians talk, but that people I know talk all the time. He talked about destructive obsession with self-improvement, in a way that sounded more like an athlete than an artist. The type of athlete mentality that's the reason why so many people I know end up slipping down the Jordan Peterson rabbit hole. And approached several topics with the sort of shoulder chip and hard-headed attitude that I'd expect to see on my own Facebook feed full of athletes, far more than I'd expect it on a podcast about an Art. I've spent many years as a nerd among jocks, and I find it interesting to listen to Russell Howard describe himself as sort of the opposite of that.

Anyway, absolutely none of that was the point of this post. I mean, I guess it's the point now, but I really did not sit down to write that stuff today. I sat down to write this because I wanted to say, I was picking out a few little episodes of Andy Zaltzman's summer of sport to listen to, and I was drawn to the Russell Howard one in spite of myself, because Russell Howard + Andy Zaltzman = Chocolate Milk Gang, and I was not disappointed on that front, as while they were discussing the diving event at the Rio Olympics, Russell Howard said something that is damn close to be exactly what I've written on my blog before:

I have described the Zaltzman/Oliver dynamic in those terms so many times, there's just no way to capture it without comparing it to a sport. Two people who were doing something so far outside the box that their stuff wouldn't fit with anyone except each other, and yet with each other, they're like teammates who are perfectly calibrated to know exactly where the other will go every time and therefore push each other to higher levels.

...That was the point of this post. I just wanted to share that audio clip and say "Look, some Chocolate Milk Gang discussion, and Russell Howard described Zaltzman/Oliver the same way I did." Not really sure what the point was of the several paragraphs ruminating on the nature/draw of Russell Howard up there. Just forget about those.

[fyh2ojustaddwater]

Full Moon Madness (11/27/23)

Hello and long time no post! We're back!

I thought about posting something over the summer, but wanted to be respectful of the strike and wait until it was over, a few updates had occurred, etc.

I hope everyone has been well! Now onto the updates!

Phoebe Tonkin in 'Boy Swallows Universe'

Over the past week, a trailer (shown above) has been released of a new project Phoebe Tonkin is in called Boy Swallows Universe. This is a limited Australian tv series distributed by Netflix and adapted from the book of the same name by: Trent Dalton. The synopsis can be found below: The story revolves around Eli Bell, a working-class youth who enters Brisbane's underworld to save his mother from danger. Release date for this looks to be January 11th, 2024. If anyone has read the book, I'd love to know your thoughts of this adaption!

Claire Holt Welcomes Baby Ford!

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A post shared by Claire Holt (@claireholt)

Claire Holt announced her pregnancy of her third child back in May, and now little Ford is here! Based on her instagram posts, she gave birth to Ford around Nov 10th and we couldn't be happy for her! Seeing how James and Elle are with the new little one is just precious and I wish nothing but the best for their family!

Cleo Massey Updates

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Speaking of, our Kim Sertori, Cleo Massey, announced in late Sept that she was expecting with her husband and their baby is due in March 2024! And just last week she celebrated a birthday! Happy belated birthday, Cleo! Wishing so many positive vibes and things your way! (just like your company, Pass Around the Smile strives for)

And that's all that I have in terms of updates on the cast of H2O & co. over the past couple of months.

If anyone knows of anything else, feel free to let us know! I hope to be posting more in the next coming days and keep these 'full moon madness' updates going!

-Kelly

[phantom-playdough]

MK x GN!Reader: Journal

NO IDEA IF THIS IS IN CHARACTER FOR MK BUT WE ROLLIN' WITH IT BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

MK had just gotten back to his apartment from yet another hard day of training. Monkey King has really been pushing him hard lately, but don't worry! They can take it, right? Right? Apparently not. At least... not right now.

So, when MK flopped onto their bed face first, he was surprised to look over and see a book of some sort on his bedside table. They picked it up and looked around, as if anyone was there to watch him. But they didn't know if maybe this was planted there by a demon.

He opened the book to the first page, only to see two words written in his best friend's signature handwriting.

'Y/n's Journal'

MK was confused as to why their best friend left behind their journal. But he chalked it up to Y/n being a little space-y and ending up leaving it behind from the last time they visited MK.

But regardless of how the journal ended up on MK's bedside table, it was here. And it also was giving MK an impossibly hard choice. Put it aside to give back to Y/n or read it and then put it aside...

We all know what choice MK made.

They turned to the most recent entry, eager to see what their best friend was journaling about.

'March 15th, XXXX Currently sitting in MK's room. He had to go on into the city super quickly to beat a demon, but he said he'll be back soon. I kinda wish I could fight like them. They are so strong, and he has really been doing well with training if he is able to beat some of these demons! I know I have written enough mushy stuff about Xiaotian in this journal, but I can't help it!!! He is just THAT cool!!!!! They are too good for me, too. They told me to not come after them into the city because he didn't want me to get hurt. I won't lie, a small part of me is hurt that I would be such a liability, but he is so precious that is impossible for me to be that mad at him. I love that goofball...'

MK was sat in shock and quickly skimmed through a couple previous entries, and then reread the latest entry to double-check that their eyes were actually correct in what they were seeing. Needless to say, they were. MK could feel his heart hammer in his chest as he struggled to take all this in. What was one to think when their best friend said they loved them.

MK carefully shut the book and put it back on his bedside table. He pulled out his phone and texted Y/n's number. He just said, 'Hey, wanna come over? Long day.'

Sure enough, Y/n responded almost immediately. 'Already on my way. Just picking up some snacks and stuff.' MK felt their heart swell at the fact that Y/n was already headed their way and was getting some food for him.

'Y/n is too good for me.' He thought fondly.

When Y/n made it to MK's apartment, MK all but teleported to his door to let them in. "Hey!"

"Sup, MK?"

"Uh, heh, not much."

It did unnerve Y/n that MK didn't say, 'the ceiling' like they normally did. But he did say it was a long day of training. Y/n walked past MK and went over to the kitchen area to pull out the snacks they bought for the pair.

But while they were pulling out some (favorite flavor of chips), MK snuck up behind them and wrapped his arms around their waist, resting his head in the crook of Y/n's neck. Y/n froze to the spot and... so did MK.

"What are you doing?" Y/n asked with a small laugh in their voice.

"Uh... I actually don't know. I saw this in a movie." MK responded awkwardly.

Y/n laughed loudly, making MK's heart jump a little at the sweet sound.

"Well, wanna sit down and watch a movie?" MK mumbled a yes, but they didn't let Y/n go.

"Uh, MK?"

"Yeah?"

"Ya gotta let me go, silly."

MK thought for a moment, before picking Y/n up.

"MK! What has gotten into you?" Y/n squirmed around violently despite their adorable laugh.

"Nothing! I just didn't wanna let go." MK said defensively. He plopped Y/n down on his bed. MK began setting up the TV for a movie, selecting some rom-com movie that neither of them had seen.

While the two were watching the movie, MK couldn't help but feel distracted by the journal Y/n unknowingly left behind. The journal that was sitting only a few centimeters away from the two of them.

MK made a bold move at that moment. Given the fact the two of them were sitting right next to each other, they scooted a little closer to Y/n, laying his head on their shoulder. Y/n didn't question it at that moment and instead laid their head atop of MK's.

The pair just sat in a comforting silence. Eventually though, MK put the silence to an end and spoke up. "So, umm... you left your journal here."

Beat

Beat

Beat

"Is that why you've been acting so affectionately with me?" Y/n said curiously. They didn't even seem MAD. More just surprised.

"...Maybe?" MK responded awkwardly.

Y/n laughed again and wrapped an arm around MK's shoulder. "You're such a dork, Xiaotian."

MK smiled, looking at Y/n's sweet face. "Yeah, but I can be your handsome little dork, ya know?" They said cockily.

Y/n looked at MK, from their eyes to their lips. MK got the hint pretty quickly and leaned forward, but not all the way. They gave Y/n just enough room to back away should they decide to. But they didn't. If anything, they leaned in the rest of the way, kissing MK as though they'd disappear.

The two of them kissed each other, growing more and more desperate as the make-out session progressed. MK ended up pushing Y/n down onto his bed. Eventually though, they both broke apart, panting for air.

"You're too good for me, Xiaotian."

He laughed at that statement. MK laid their weight onto Y/n, listening to their rapid heartbeat. "So are you, though."

[astrxlfinale]

Sparkle has infiltrated the astral express. Her grand, evil scheme? Leaving little toy green army men in just about every spot she can think of. In some places, like the sink, the desk, and other spots in plain view, they are placed in small batches. But then she goes a step further. Hiding one in the faucet of the sink. Hiding one in his pillowcase. Hiding one under his bed. Hiding one inside his computer setup. One in the vent. One in the fridge. One in the freezer. One in a box of cereal. One on a holo projector. One replacing the battery of his remote control. Just when he thinks he found the last one, there is always another. True psychological warfare.

Give it a good few hours and the natural clock of the Trailblazer would come to rise. A simple yawn, a good stretch of the limbs, one of this cosmo's great moving powers has reawakened and was certainly prepared to make the most of the day. Wiping the sleep from his eyes and popping a few joints to rid of the stiffness, he'd fight the impulse to lay back down, leading the charge with a rebellious toss the blankets as he drew onto his feet!

"......"

Yet, there's a moment of pause required, his eyes squinting due to instincts holding a feeling that his dreary mind hadn't quite caught up on.

"The hell is that about? Odd feeling like someone has been prancing 'round here, and March has been busy off in Belobog for a couple-a days, so that can't be it." He muses, scratching idly at his side as he steps off to freshen up.

Within the confines of a private sanctity, this is where he'd find the first bizarre viewing. Some odd looking toy, one decked out in rugged attire that's painted a green too bright to do good for the camo style. It makes Caelus's eyes narrow upon that clearly alien figure as he plucks it up. Giving it a twist and turn, for the time he hadn't thought much of it.

Oh no no no, that was reserved for what shot out of the faucet besides the glories of hydro. The same damnable shade of green, nearly making him jolt back to the walls as he hops in surprise. "The hell!?"

Again. Another one of those damn army men! It causes him to click his teeth as just for a moment he'd forgo brushing his teeth, snapping the faucet shut in order to embark on an abrupt investigation. To his misfortune, all this led towards was an event that made his heart sink. An alien type of paranoid nudging at the skull as he begins to see them everywhere. In his bed! By the computer!

Stumbling off to other ends of the express had led to the same issue! Nothing was sacred in the midst of this battalion's cruel plans. Caelus's hands went from disturbed studies, to crushing those he came across, a stubborn force of steam puffing from his lips as more of this unfurling horror story was brought to life. It reached a point where some bald man's mad ravings of the old hells began barking in his ear. Except there was no one around.

He couldn't even watch TV without as much as another one of these bastards propping out the woodwork. It'd all come to a head when in all mad causality did one of these fuckers shot out from the remote.

Caelus screamed.

"IS THIS ONE OF HERTA'S DUMBASS CURIOS IN THIS FRICKIN' PLACE!? WHERE ARE ALL THESE LITTLE FUCKS COMING FROM!?"

No. He's not having a good start to this day. Thank you for asking.

@remunporium

[cantsayidont]

March through May 1988. While the Evanier/Spiegle BLACKHAWK revival was prompted by Steven Spielberg's interest in doing a BLACKHAWK feature film as a follow-on to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, this controversial Howard Chaykin miniseries feels a fair bit like RAIDERS: a slick, stylish, rather cynical adventure story about a square-jawed heel and a saucy, two-fisted dame who save the world from fascism when they're not too busy bickering, in a nostalgia-bait setting full of visual allusions to '30s and '40s advertising and propaganda art.

Although Chaykin was certainly familiar with the Blackhawks (and had done covers and a couple of backup stories for the Evanier series), he indulges in some obligatory late '80s revisionism, dismissing or discarding some familiar elements of the feature (for instance, the characters laugh off the possibility of a Blackhawk Island, a staple of the earlier series) and tinkering with some details. Perhaps his most significant move was to reaffirm that Blackhawk was Polish, as shown in the first Blackhawk story in MILITARY COMICS #1 (by Will Eisner and Chuck Cuidera) back in 1941. Later versions of Blackhawk's origin had claimed he was American and had merely been flying for the Polish Air Force at the time of the 1939 Nazi invasion, but Chaykin was having none of that: The Blackhawk of this series is Janos Prohaska (a name borrowed from a veteran Hollywood stuntman who'd worked on STAR TREK and other movies and TV shows), a broad-shouldered, left-leaning (and, this being a Howard Chaykin story, Jewish) schlub from Krakow who spends a lot of the story under fire for "premature antifascism" from a Red-baiting Southern senator who's also a secret Nazi agent.

(Special note needs to be made of the exceptionally creative lettering of Ken Bruzenak, without which this series would be much less than it is, and also the effective color work of Steve Oliff.)

Exactly when this story is supposed to be set is a little vague. One of the pastiche magazine covers suggests that it takes place in June 1941, about the time MILITARY COMICS #1 went on sale, but the story concerns the theft of an American atomic bomb, and the U.S. already seems to be at war, so who knows! Chaykin is not Roy Thomas, who would undoubtedly have sweated such details.

The villain is none of Blackhawk's past opponents, but rather a newly created character, British fascist and disgraced Hollywood star Sir Death Mayhew, a very thinly veiled pastiche of Errol Flynn, obviously informed by Charles Higham's muckraking 1980 bio ERROL FLYNN: THE UNTOLD STORY, which alleged that Flynn was a Nazi spy. Other biographers have challenged Higham's evidence and conclusions (although even the most generous accounts of Flynn's life are pretty seamy), but by the '80s Flynn was long dead, this was after all a comic book, and Mayhew is a pretty effective (and thoroughly risible) villain. Probably the biggest disappointment is that we don't ever actually see Mayhew's earlier encounter with Blackhawk, who he says had previously exposed him as a Nazi spy, and there's never really a clash between the Blackhawks and Mayhew's fascist White Lion squadron (which ends up basically carrying the water for Mayhew's mad plan to give himself "a Viking funeral").

The original BLACKHAWK series eventually introduced a Lady Blackhawk, blond adventuress Zinda Blake, but Chaykin creates his own version: a feisty American-born Communist expat, Natalie (Gurdin) Reed. She's a flight engineer as well as a pilot, although her primary function is to spar with Blackhawk. It's not hard to envision this scene with Harrison Ford as Janos and Karen Allen as Natalie:

One of the biggest complaints levied against this series is that the other Blackhawks get short shrift: They don't show up until well into the story, one of them is killed off-handedly, and they don't have much to do other than be exasperated with their boss.

Nonetheless, this was, believe it or not, the first time in their long history that all the Blackhawks actually got full names, including "Chop Chop" (Weng Chan), who subsequently became a supporting character in the John Ostrander/Graham Nolan HAWKWORLD series in the early '90s.

Your reaction to this series will likely depend on how you feel about the Blackhawks. If you'd never heard of them beyond perhaps glancing past their WHO'S WHO entry, it's a pretty good time — the story has some missed opportunities (including surprisingly little aerial action), and marginalizing the rest of the team is definitely a flaw, but it's entertaining in its slick '80s way, and it's more cohesive than a lot of Chaykin's other work from this period (e.g., AMERICAN FLAGG!, THE SHADOW, BLACK KISS, TIME²). Hardcore Blackhawk fans (and I guess there are still a few) generally hate it, and certainly for purists, the Evanier/Spiegle series is likely to be far more satisfactory. Also, Chaykin's particular schtick is something of an acquired taste, and if you're not a fan, his customary abrasive cynicism may be a bit much. However, you can tell he was having fun, which counts for a lot. He even manages to work in the Blackhawks' "HAWKAAAAA" battle cry at the end, though not their jaunty theme song:

This miniseries, originally released in what DC used to call its "Prestige Format," apparently didn't sell as well as anticipated; for a long time, you could find copies in comic shop bargain bins for a fraction of the cover price, which is how I first read it. However, in 2020, DC finally, miraculously, reprinted the series in trade paperback (as BLACKHAWK: BLOOD & IRON), also tossing in the 1989 SECRET ORIGINS entry (by Marty Pasko, Grant Miehm, and Terry Beatty), which attempts, with fair success, to square Chaykin's version with the original Eisner/Cuidera story, and the now hard-to-find ACTION COMICS WEEKLY Blackhawk serial by Mike Grell, Rick Burchett, and Pablo Marcos, which is set after the war and is basically a straightforward pastiche of the early years of Milt Caniff's STEVE CANYON newspaper strip. I actually find the ACTION COMICS WEEKLY serial significantly more cynical and abrasive than the Chaykin series, although Burchett's art is nice. DC hasn't bothered to reprint the short-lived BLACKHAWK ongoing series of 1989–1990, by Pasko (and later Doug Moench) and Burchett, which is just as well: Also set in the late '40s, it follows on from the ACW serial, but is a pretty much unmitigated disaster, full of puzzling creative choices, including some bizarre (and misogynistic) abuse of Natalie Reed. The art is fine (although the interiors never live up to Burchett's excellent covers), but it can't save the muddy, mean-spirited storyline, which is often confusing and intermittently preposterous in a way that clashes with the intended gritty tone, making it highly missable even for completists.

[adultswim2021]

Delocated #4: “Rage Cage” | March 9, 2009 - 12:15AM | S01E04

Jon has quit his job at the Copy Shop and started his own business. It’s called Rage Cage, and it’s just a space where you can go nuts and smash stuff to get your aggressions out. Here he meets a charming young customer named Kim, played by Zoe Lister-Jones. Jon and her start going out and start getting serious. 

Things start sorta taking a turn for the more-complicated when he meets her family. He arrogantly calls her brother a “little bitch” for not owning his own business, and then plays a humiliating DVD where he tells the story of how he and Kim met. He describes having sex with her for the first time while rude cartoon graphics play. The family is obviously appalled and Jon gets into an altercation with the brother. 

This one has a telescoping end sequence where we continually pull out of the TV, showing Jon showing what we were just watching as being part of a similarly-edited video (using footage from the show we’re watching). Jon is showing the fight to his buddies (Mike, the old copy shop boss, and the doorman) when Kim walks in and gets mad at Jon for showing off the altercation for laughs. Then we pull out of another TV, where we see they are in couple’s counseling, with Jon showing their therapist the video of them fighting about the previous video. 

Yet again, the show ignores the instinct other shows might have of exploring a new dynamic by dragging out the newness of it over the course of a number of episodes. We’re basically speed-running from Jon and Kim’s meet-cute, to their first date, to meeting the family, to now where they are already in a difficult and rocky relationship that already feels worn out (I mean for the characters, not for the show). I admire it! Also, Kim is maybe my favorite character on the show. Her participation in the series almost represents what I consider to be the peak era of the program the same way Phil Hartman is for The Simpsons. 

This episode has a lot of really fun smaller ideas within it, like the Rage Cage itself, the tortilla blanket, Jon’s aversion to scones, and the Anderson family birthday song. The idea of a “family song” just tickles me. 

I think I forgot to mention this, Delocated began this season by premiering on Thursday nights with a second-run on the following Sunday. This episode was the first to premiere on Sunday and not Thursday. I’m guessing the Thursday night thing was considered a failed experiment. I vaguely recall thinking that it was meant to capitalize off of NBC’S Thursday night line-up. 30 Rock was part of that at the time, and Jon Glaser had a recurring role on that show. Weirdly, Xavier also debuted on Thursday nights, and it stayed there longer than Delocated did. At the time I thought Adult Swim was trying to ramp up it's output to have original shows on every night of the week.

MAIL BAG

Check out this funny youtube comment on the Back To Squall youtube clip: "I love any movie with John A Hill. His performance in "The Wolf of Quall Street" was fantastic." Do you like it?

I like that comment, for I am of the people and I respect peanut galleries. Let's face it, I am a bit nutty.

[lboogie1906]

Keegan-Michael Key (born March 22, 1971) is an actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer. He co-created and co-starred alongside Jordan Peele in Key & Peele (2012–2015) and co-starred in Playing House (2014–2017). He spent six seasons as a cast member on Mad TV (2004–2009) and has made guest appearances on the US version of Whose Line is it Anyway? He appeared alongside Peele in the first season of Fargo in 2014 and had a recurring role in Parks and Recreation from 2013 to 2015. He hosted the US version of The Planet's Funniest Animals on Animal Planet (2005–2008), and hosted Game On! He has had supporting roles in several films, including Horrible Bosses 2 (2014), Pitch Perfect 2 (2015), Don't Think Twice (2016) and Dolemite Is My Name (2019). He has provided voice work for The Lego Movie (2014), the Hotel Transylvania franchise (2015–2022), Storks, The Angry Birds Movie (both 2016), The Star (2017), The Lion King remake and Toy Story 4 (both 2019), and Pinocchio remake (2022). Also in 2015, he appeared at the White House Correspondents' Dinner as the Key & Peele character Luther, President Barack Obama's anger translator. Key and Peele produced and starred in Keanu. In 2017, he made his Broadway debut in Meteor Shower. He appeared in The Prom (2020) and Schmigadoon! (2021). He was born in Southfield, Michigan, the son of Leroy McDuffie and Carrie Herr. He was adopted at a young age by a couple from Detroit, Michael Key, and Patricia Walsh. His brother was comic book writer Dwayne McDuffie. He attended the University of Detroit Mercy, earning a BFA in Theater, followed by an MFA in Theater at Pennsylvania State University. While at the University of Detroit Mercy, he was a brother of Phi Kappa Theta. He was married to actress and dialect coach Cynthia Blaise (1998-2017). He married producer and director Elisa Pugliese (2018). #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence https://www.instagram.com/p/CqFtmZSrkq8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[helianskies]

12 or 13 for characters/couple of your choice?

perfect choice! i've been waiting to unleash these morons once more—

Snowball

“Throw that snowball, and you’ll be in big trouble!” 

Antonio and Gilbert both halt. Each carries a snowball in hand, and they share a look between them that, to Francis, spells out only mischief and madness.

The three of them have gathered for their annual holiday celebration in Germany. Snow has blessed them this year—a pleasant surprise, particularly for Antonio and Francis who do not see it so often—and, as would only naturally follow, the trio have ventured outside. 

Perhaps only somewhat surprisingly, it had been Antonio who had started the war. The first snowball had flown just shy of Francis’ person and hit Gilbert square in the chest. He’d sworn, laughed, and then instantly taken to gathering up snow to launch his counteroffensive—and the rest is history!

Now here Francis stands, in the middle of a spontaneous warzone, two friends throwing snowballs at each other and narrowly missing him until, at last, he is faced by a brazen Gilbert, poised and ready to throw his next load of ammunition right at the Frenchman.

So, “Throw that snowball, and you’ll be in big trouble!” he warns his friend, wanting him to see sense rather than his usual mayhem.

It earns naught but a grin, toothy and cheeky—Gilbert all over. 

"You should know by now that he's into being told off!" Antonio reminds Francis out of left field in due course, just as he lobs a fresh snowball at Gilbert, which hits the other cleanly in the shoulder. "Aha! Gotcha!"

“That was so underhand, Fernández!” Gilbert calls back at him, and, once more, Francis is forced to duck and avoid an incoming ball of snow and ice. 

This is not exactly his idea of fun, he has to admit. He doesn’t want to think he and his two dear friends have interests that are that different, but in winter, they are certainly different creatures:

Francis much prefers the indoors at this time of year, huddling in front of a fire, a glass of warm spiced wine, watching those terribly entertaining straight-to-TV Christmas rom-com films; Gilbert is more the sort who likes to be outdoors, who embraces the cold, who visits Austria to go skiing (and pester his old flame while he’s at it), who can’t sit still; and Antonio is like a fine blend of the two.

And a… an avid fan of starting snowball fights, it seems…

…Speaking of snowball fights—

“Ow!”

“Haha! Take that!”

“Children, please,” Francis tries to placate as Antonio recovers from a direct hit. “Can we maybe park this little Spanish-Prussian war for now and, uh, retreat back inside?” he suggests. “You know, I am struggling to feel my fing—”

Antonio gasps, loud and mortified. His ready-to-go snowball drops down to the ground and his hands fall over his face, masking his shock for a few seconds, before he cries out a furious, “Gilbert!”

Gilbert, however, gives no response nor reaction. Perhaps he is in shock, too, just as Antonio is, and just as Francis is.

Because Francis has just received a faceful of hard snow. It feels as though winter has exploded across his skin, so cold, so icy, so horrid. He’s aghast. He’s deeply offended. He wipes the remnants of snow from his face and slowly turns to look at his assailant—his friend turned enemy—with betrayal threatening to spill over his rim.

He takes a deep breath. 

“Gilbert…”

“Oh, Scheisse…”

“Gilbert, mon ami, where are you running, huh?”

“Just, uh… Just saw something really interesting over here! That’s all!”

“Go easy on him, Fran, you know his bones are as brittle as breadsticks!”

“Then he should be more careful about running so fast, no? He could slip! He could hurt himself!” Francis calls over his shoulder as he finishes forming a snowball of his own, marching rather fast in Gilbert’s footsteps. “And that would be such a shame, especially on our special weekend together!”

Antonio doesn’t doubt it. But, on second thought… Perhaps he should not interfere with Francis’ revenge; he would hate to be caught by the backswing of his rounded, snowy sword…

[ final wordcount, 680 words! ]

[fantomcomics]

What’s Out This Week? 8/2

Maybe the real summer was the friends we made along the way?

A Girl On The Shore Collected Edition HC -  Inio Asano

Eisner-nominated author, Inio Asano's A Girl on the Shore is now in a hardcover, collector's package! Koume Sato and Kosuke Isobe are two teenagers living in a sleepy Japanese seaside town. After getting used and dumped by her crush, the emotionally damaged Koume decides to start a relationship with Kosuke, without any emotions involved. However, they both soon discover that sex with no strings attached often leads to unexpected complications, not just for themselves but also the people around them.

Abe Sapien: The Drowning & Other Stories TP -  Mike Mignola, John Arcudi & Emi Lenox 

In the early 1980's, new B.P.R.D. agent Abe Sapien was set to retrieve the corpse of a powerful warlock off the coast of France. Abe quickly finds himself in a battle with a century old evil in the form of demonic monks. Mike Mignola and Jason Shawn Alexander's premiere Abe solo series sets the stage for a collection of tales tracing Abe's times both as an agent of the B.P.R.D., and delving into his long-hidden origins. A haunted lake, South American vampires, and a mad scientist seeking out man's missing link are chronicled here! This paperback omnibus edition collects Abe Sapien: The Drowning, The Devil Does Not Jest, and Lost Lives and Other Stories.

Amongst Us GN Vol 1 -  Shilin Huang

Veloce loves Blackbird. Blackbird loves Veloce. These two young women may have strange chemistry and seemingly nothing in common, but somehow, their offbeat relationship works. Join them for a dance through the city they call home as they satisfy Blackbird's sweet tooth and indulge Veloce in her attempts to understand fashion. In an alternate universe, this sorceress and assassin share a very different reality... but in this one, they're a modern couple who have built a life together- and they intend to enjoy it.

At The Flower Capital GN -  Rihito Takarai

Motoharu, second child and successor of the Tsujimura clinic, has always held his childhood friend, Akira Hazumi, close to his heart. Unfortunately, when Motoharu realized his affections towards Akira were more than just simply friendship, and confessed, their relationship became strained. Unable to reciprocate Motoharu's feelings, Akira turned him down, and they slowly grew apart from one another. Despite the ongoing tension between them, Motoharu still decides to enroll in the same university and department as Akira. However, it's not easy getting over the pain of being rejected, and Motoharu soon finds himself visiting Geishas in the middle of the night, in a desperate attempt to forget everything that happened.

Buffy The Last Vampire Slayer #1 (of 5) -  Casey Gilly, Oriol Roig & Ario Anindito

Thess is all grown up, having taken up the mantle as the new Slayer! But with new responsibilities comes new enemies, and a mysterious clan will do anything to get to her, even if it means using her friends as bait.

Class War TP -  Rob Williams, Trevor Hairsine, & Travel Foreman 

Love your country then rip it down! The critically-acclaimed indie superhero hit gets its own paperback collection for the first time! Beloved supersoldier, American, uncovers the dark truth behind The White House and burns the word 'Liar' into the forehead of The President on live TV. Now on the run with a rogue CIA agent, he intends to reveal everything he now knows to the world. Can his former teammates, the superteam Enola Gay, stop him?

Conan The Barbarian #1 -  Jim Zub, Roberto de la Torre, José Villarrubia & Dan Panosian

Years after the battle of Venarium, a weary CONAN returns to his homeland to seek rest and solitude. However, a mysterious scout rides in to warn the Cimmerians of an imminent threat on the march from the Pictish wilderness. Will CONAN and his new ally be able to hold off this new horde of invaders?

The Devil Is A Part-Timer Anthology GN - Satoshi Wagahara

The Devil King and his friends check out a wedding venue, buy swimsuits to work at the beach and...get marooned on a desert island?! This collection of original comic stories, drawn by a lineup of artists and fans of the series, collects episodes which may, or may not, have taken place during the main story!

EVE: Children Of The Moon TP -  Victor Lavalle, Jo Migyeong & Ario Anindito

Eve already saved the world once, embarking on a perilous quest to protect what remained of humanity after a deadly virus outbreak... but the story continues! Selene, a source of hope for the many children that flocked to her rest stop, resents Eve, Eve's sister, and Wexler. The conflict amongst them and the survivors is dire... even sowing the potential for civil war. But an A.I. with terrifying origins from deep beneath the sea brings new revelations about the threats they face... not only of earth, but beyond.

Fire & Ice #1 -  Bill Willingham, Leonardo Manco & Bill Sienkiewicz

More than four decades ago, two iconic creators came together to bring to the silver screen an amazing new world of magic and adventure. In their classic animated film Fire and Ice, legendary artist FRANK FRAZETTA and famed director RALPH BAKSHI crafted a unique vision of beauty and danger, of good versus evil, all cast against a hypnotic backdrop of savage prehistoric splendor. Now, at long last, this timeless vision is expanding into comics with the first new story to revisit Frazetta and Bakshi's remarkable realm since 1982! Before the fire waned and the ice spread across the world...before Teegra met Larn...before everything you know about the unforgettable animated movie came to be, there were the before times - times when evil might still be blunted, times when innocence was not yet lost. In Fire and Ice #1, acclaimed comics writer BILL WILLINGHAM (Fables, Legenderry) joins forces with artist LEONARDO MANCO (Hellstorm: Prince of Lies, Blaze of Glory) - making his triumphant return to comics - and a new legend is about to be born!

The Little Red Fish GN - James Moffitt & Bizhan Khodabandeh

An exquisite reimagining of the Iranian Revolution like you've never seen before. An aquatic reef held down by an oppressive regime of blood-thirsty heron struggles to rise up in this harrowing tale of self-discovery, heritage, and revolution. The Little Red Fish retraces the events of the Iranian Revolution portraying events from the perspective of those actually involved. Part historical text, part guerilla warfare, all political allegory, The Little Red Fish vividly captures an often overlooked part of history. Oh, and there's that magical orb thing...

Lupin The Third: Thick As Thieves Classic Collection HC Vol 1 -  Monkey Punch

Monkey Punch's immortal creations are among the most beloved characters of all time, from master thief Lupin III to his trusted sidekicks and tenacious rivals. Seven Seas is proud to present the follow-up to last year's hit Greatest Heists with this second "best of" release. Thick as Thieves is another curated collection of some of Monkey Punch's best stories and chapters of Lupin III from throughout the classic manga's history, featuring all-new translations in a beautiful oversized hardcover. Let this iconic manga steal your heart all over again!

Malcolm Kid & The Perfect Song GN - Austin Paramore & Sarah Bollinger

Debut creator Austin Paramore and artist Sarah Bollinger strike a chord in this humorous and heartfelt story about love, loss, legacy, and the music that ties them all together. What does the perfect song sound like? Normally, Malcolm Kid wouldn't give this type of question the time of day. As a straight-B student with a heart of copper, he is far more concerned with overcoming mediocrity than he is with achieving perfection. But that all changes when he stumbles across the LK-2000-a strange keyboard cursed with the soul of an old jazz musician. Malcolm soon learns that the only way to free this musician's soul is by performing the perfect song. With much hesitation, and the help of his lifelong friend January Young, Malcolm embarks on a musical journey across the city of New Bronzeville in the hopes of discovering the perfect song and finding himself as a musician along the way.

Mexikid GN -  Pedro Martin

A poignant, hilarious, and unforgettable graphic memoir about a Mexican-American boy's family and their adventure-filled road trip to bring their abuelito back from Mexico to live with them. Pedro Martin has grown up hearing stories about his abuelito-his legendary crime-fighting, grandfather who was once a part of the Mexican Revolution! But that doesn't mean Pedro is excited at the news that Abuelito is coming to live with their family. After all, Pedro has 8 brothers and sisters and the house is crowded enough! Still, Pedro piles into the Winnebago with his family for a road trip to Mexico to bring Abuelito home, and what follows is the trip of a lifetime, one filled with laughs and heartache. Along the way, Pedro finally connects with his abuelito and learns what it means to grow up and find his grito.

Neil Gaiman’s Hansel & Gretel SC -  Neil Gaiman & Lorenzo Mattotti

Bestselling author Neil Gaiman and fine artist Lorenzo Mattotti join forces to create Hansel and Gretel, a stunning book that's at once as familiar as a dream and as evocative as a nightmare. Mattotti's sweeping ink illustrations capture the terror and longing found in the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale. Gaiman crafts an original text filled with his signature wit and pathos that is sure to become a favorite of readers everywhere, young and old.

Neptune GN Vol 1 Book 1 -  LEO

The Worlds of Aldebaran chronicle mankind's often difficult first steps on distant worlds. Full of fantastical alien life, human drama and believable science, it's a saga that will keep you gazing up at the stars in wonder. After three years of study and training, Marie is now officially a member of the UN Special Forces. But she's barely had time to celebrate her graduation that an extraordinary event forces her to leave for her first mission: an alien ship of unknown origin has just arrived in orbit of Earth. As no contact can be established with its crew, Marie and her team are sent to board the vessel and investigate.

The Pirate & The Porcelain Girl TP  -  Emily Riesbeck & NJ Barna

Our Flag Means Death gets a magical, sapphic twist in this swashbuckling young adult graphic novel adventure full of high-stakes adventure, fantastical creatures, and a swoony enemies-to-lovers romance. "I want to be beautiful. I want to be interesting. I want to be enough." That was Ferra Brickminder's prayer to win back the love of her life. And the gods answer-just not in the way she expected. After hoping for a miracle, Ferra instead watches her skin turn into delicate and dangerously breakable porcelain. Elsewhere, Brigantine de la Girona, a disgraced orc pirate captain, has her own problems. Penniless and banished from her home, Brig struggles to make ends meet with her crew as her only support. So, when a desperate Ferra enlists Brig to sail her across the Great Sea to her ex-girlfriend's home for a very handsome fee, Brig is happy to strike a deal. Pampered Ferra and tough-as-nails Brig quickly butt heads, bickering their way across the high seas, but as they encounter increasingly perilous obstacles-including the gods themselves-the two become reluctant allies... and maybe more.

Robotech: Rick Hunter #1 -  Brandon Easton, Simone Ragazzoni & Inhyuk Lee

After the devastating events of the Macross saga, RICK HUNTER must face an all new threat, along with the ghosts of his past when a Zentraedi splinter group attacks Yokohama, Rick is called to investigate! Piloting the new prototype YF-4 Veritech, Rick encounters old friends and new enemies, all while recounting the moments of his life that shaped most epic moments in the ROBOTECH universe!

The Sacrificers #1 -  Rick Remender, Max Fiumara & Dave McCaig 

Tomorrow is a harmonious paradise thanks to five families who make everything perfect...for the price of one child per household. Now, as that bill comes due, a son expected to give everything for a family that never loved him and an affluent daughter determined to destroy utopia must unite to end one generation's unnaturally protracted reign.

Saving Chupie GN -  Amparo Ortiz & Ronnie Garcia

Violeta Rubio only has one goal in mind for her first-ever trip to Puerto Rico: help Abuelita reopen her beloved restaurant, La Casita. After the destruction wrought by Huracán Maria, La Casita needs all the help it can get. The only problem is that Violeta's whole family thinks they can do it without her. Now Violeta doesn't have anyone to hang out with or anything to do. But when best friend duo Diego and Lorena need help capturing the rumored chupacabra, Violeta sees her chance to change all that. What she isn't expecting is to run straight into the beast! Only... he isn't as monstrous as everyone assumes. Sure, he's got some scales and spikes, big red eyes, and pointy fangs-but he's a totally puppy and loyal to a fault. Violeta must find a way keep Chupie hidden and convince her newfound friends that he isn't anything to be scared of. And if that isn't hard enough, a new threat lurks around the corner that is dead set on capturing Chupie for their own nefarious means. Will Violeta be able to save Chupie from the danger that surrounds them without sacrificing everything else in the process?

Slime Shop GN -  Karina Garcia, Kevin Panetta & Niki Smith

YouTube Slime Queen Karina Garcia teams up with writer Kevin Panetta and artist Niki Smith for a fun, colorful adventure that follows three friends as they run their own slime shop and the slimes who come alive to help them. Bailey, Sophia, and Jayden run the BSJ Slime Shop, but what the three slime makers don't know is that when they're not around, the slimes come to life! When the creators start shipping slimes off to who knows where, the slimes left at the shop start to worry that they're next. Even as Polly tries to convince her friends that everything is fine, Boris, a grumpy, green slime, starts taking things into his own hands. Then slimes start disappearing and suddenly the shop is full of zombie slimes. With half the shop zombified and the other half scared silly, Polly has no choice but to go on a quest, along with her friends Max and Karma, to discover the truth about the slimes being shipped off and find a way to save their friends before it's too late!

Team Trash: A Time Traveler’s Guide To Sustainability GN -  Kate Wheeler & Trent Huntington

Studious environmentalist Charlie is stuck with a science fair partner who seems like her complete opposite: Charlie wants to save the planet, and all Oliver wants is to doodle in his notebook. But when a mechanical mishap sends the two traveling back through time, they'll have to work as a team to return to the present day. In order for the time machine to send them back, the unlikely duo must gather data on recycling throughout the ages-from sustainable marketplaces in Edo Japan to garbage-gobbling pigs in 19th-century NYC. Yet the closer the team gets to the present day, the more that plastic presents a problem: they're running out of time. Harnessing their frustration over the daunting ecological future they've inherited, Charlie and Oliver discover the ways in which they can use their sustainability knowledge to return home and build a better earth.

Werewolf Jones & Sons Deluxe Summer Fun Annual HC -  Simon Hanselmann & Josh Pettinger

In the tradition of the British hardback annuals comes the Werewolf Jones & Sons Deluxe Summer Fun Annual! One hundred fun-filled pages of spoofs and goofs for the whole family to enjoy (no minors allowed)! Put together with lots of love by Simon Hanselmann and rising underground star Josh Pettinger (Goiter, Power Wash). Get ready for one of the hottest summers on record (not merely due to rising climate-based anomalies)!

Whatcha getting this week, Fantom Fam?

[caixxa]

I posted 5,037 times in 2022

321 posts created (6%)

4,716 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@coffeeandgunpowder

@keysmashery

@gingervivilou

@torillatavataan

@violasmirabiles

I tagged 2,888 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#fic - 211 posts

#hockey rpf - 121 posts

#cinema - 119 posts

#suomi - 111 posts

#answered - 100 posts

#asks - 100 posts

#ask game - 83 posts

#long post - 75 posts

#music - 71 posts

#ao3 - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#not even looking at the notes to see the but but i love makeup yeah you can love makeup and do it not everyone has the same interest and tim

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Janne Ahonen got bronze in the Finnish championships. Send him to the Olympics pls.

22 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

#4

July 18th! Miro Heiskanen's birthday!

To celebrate, I will start posting a new 5-chapter fic, one chapter a day through this week.

I'll post around lunchtime in Finland, which means that for American readers, a new update should be waiting for you like a morning paper fresh from print when you wake up.

Yes, it's a Helsinki spin-off of my Oulu summer fic Summer Kisses but it's an independent story and can be read as a standalone.

22 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

#3

Katso Козаки | Пороблено в Украине, пародия 2014 YouTubessa

Something light in a horrific situation:

7 years ago, Volodymyr Zelensky danced in heels and latex for a parody video of an Ukrainian boy band on TV.

As if we didn't have mad respect for the president of Ukraine based on his leadership in fighting back the Russian invasion, there's more proof that he's 💯 badass.

61 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

#2

I've been meaning to ask this for ages and your last post finally inspired me to do so.

So, if you don't mind: what would be some sweet pet names in Finnish? (something to the effect of darling/sweetheart/my love, if possible)

I cannot find many sweet ones online and I'm kinda getting desperate at this point...

Thanks in advance :)

Hi!

Glad you asked because I was just thinking that I might have to do a post about this.

Here are some off the top of my head:

Rakas (dear, loved - this is used both in addressing very close people like dear - rakas äiti, dear mom, and by itself when it has basically the same meaning as the next one ->)

Rakkaani (my love)

Kulta (literal meaning gold but this is the most usual pet name. I think it is used pretty much the same way as darling and sweetheart - it can also be used in a condescending way, lapsi kulta, child dear, has more the sound of a oh sweet summer child. But basically this would be your honey/darling/sweetheart)

The three above are the most usual ones, the ones below can be and are also used:

beibi, hani (literally the english words baby and honey, only written the way they would be written in finnish. Beibi can also be used in the same meaning as babe, referring to a cute, hot, desirable girl)

Muru (literally crumb, I think it's shortened from the next one ->)

Kullanmuru, kultamuru (gold crumb, for me the uses of these are closest to Sweetheart or sweetie)

Pupu, pupunen (bunny, (li'l) honeybunny - for people that you can see calling each other bunny. I get a feel that this could be easier used by a mother to a child than an adult couple to each other but, you know, if you're the type)

Tyypit, rakkaat, anyone, feel free to add your thoughts and suggestions!

82 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I want everyone to consider that the purity-anti-tendencies against any chosen part of fanfic contribute to broadening the platform for these tendencies overall. There is a parallel between the willingness to censor uncomfortable themes and tropes from Ao3 and the willingness to censor LGBTQ+ education from schools or ban books from public libraries. If you don't want the latter, do not contribute to the former.

Not every story is for everyone. Choose your reading, use the back button liberally but the abuse report button with great consideration.

Remember:

the author is not the same as their work

what would be illegal, for a reason, in the real world, is not illegal to imagine

the author that you wish to hurt for something they have created is a real living person; the characters in their fiction are not

155 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

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