#turns out you aren't really meant to have a period for like 2 months

[ithums]

i've been out of bed for three hours and i am so sleepy and tired all i wanna do is go back to bed

[mesetacadre]

Hello!

Firstly, Im USAmerican I’m not trying to be like “oh woe is me,” Im just trying my best to understand what would be the best option for everyone. I’ve heard so many varying things and this is my second time voting, so I just want wanted to know what other people think. This isn’t meant to be malicious or condescending in any way either! I know you can do multiple things at once it’s just that I worry that when I walk into that polling booth, that I’ll be putting more innocent people at stake.

I’ve seen people tell,call,email etc Kamala to say that she isn’t getting their vote unless she stops funding Israel and their assault on the Palestinian people. And I’ve seen some people say that there is literally no point in trying to reason/ransom with her and that she (like all other US presidents) is a monster no matter what.

I’ve seen some other people say that voting 3rd party or not voting at all is the only way to go. But I worry that a 3rd party candidate wouldn’t stand a chance so late in the game. And I also worry that not voting would be a waste of a privilege, especially since so many people don’t have the access to voting inside the US and out.

I’ve also seen people worrying about project 2025 being pushed into place and I’ve also seen other people say Americans are cowards for worrying about such a thing.

I know you don’t live in the US but I also know this election impacts people outside of the states so I just wanted to know your thoughts. I’ve asked this to another blog as well, so if any of your followers have thoughts Id like to hear them too! I just feel a little pulled in every direction and I figured asking around would be a good idea.

Thank you so much and have a nice day!

If I were in your position I would stop going back and forth about who to vote for and start organizing. Were social rights protected with Biden? Very clearly not, since people are already suffering from things that are in that think tank's document. Abortion is no longer protected, trans people are begin targeted across a good portion of the states, the border is going to keep getting bloodier regardless of who wins, etc. Sure, you might argue that these things are not in control of the president, like the Supreme Court or the individual states. So then, how are elections supposed to help? And this is just talking about domestic policy, but the imperialist cogs of the US hegemon will keep turning no matter who's in DC, and you really cannot fucking ignore the current genocide in Palestine, plus the US' entire history of foreign interventions and the suffering that has come from that. You all should really realize the scale of the situation and stop engaging with the US on its own terms. There are class interests to which every mechanism of liberal democracy are subordinated to.

It is extremely unique for you USAmericans to spend this much fucking time and energy on your elections, you can't overstate it. Practically every year is filled with election bullshit. Election periods in basically the rest of the world only last like a month at most, where I live it takes two weeks. Elections aren't even the only or most important way to participate in politics within the very basic framework of liberal democracy. But you're all constantly acting like it's a team sport, always with the election. Don't take this personally anon, I'm not annoyed at you specifically and I appreciate the effort in your ask, but it's so incredibly childish to every single time spend 2 years or more hueing and crying about the upcoming election. Do something about it then! stop hyperfocusing on a single day every 4 years! People were already talking about the 2020 election after Trump won in 2016, that's absurd!

Read Lenin and read decolonial theory, organize yourself and the working class, build political-revolutionary consciousness amongst your class, do whatever you can to strike at the stability of the empire which you live under without getting arrested or killed, and stop legitimizing this pantomime by making it the exclusive vehicle of your political thought. Voting is just a single day, and the run-up (not 3 years!) should be spent campaigning for your own interests, denouncing this bullshit system you all keep saying you also don't "like". "Surviving", which is what some left liberals keep saying they're trying to do (I know you did not say that, anon), looks like organizing yourself and everybody you can to stop relying on the scraps the managers of capitalism and imperialism sometimes throw at you.

Voting as an action and voting as a strategy are two different things. What you're worried about, as I understand it, is the action of going to a booth and putting your choice of ballot in the box. Voting as a strategy, is the decoration and structure so many people build around it. I can't recall exactly who I saw doing this, but a USAmerican mutual of mine who's also a communist got an ask about who they're voting for. This mutual laid out the options in their state, went over their policies, and explained why they'll vote for the candidate they disliked less (I think it was an independent but don't quote me on that). You know why none of us "election interfering foreign agents" jumped at them for this? because they understand the very limited potential for voting, spent a little bit of their time researching each candidate avaliable to them, and then spend the entire rest of their political energy focusing on other things outside electoralism.

Yeah, shit's fucked for social rights, so is basically anywhere else in the world right now. I also don't have good choices in my elections, half the parliament is talking about the islamization of Spain and plans to gut any public service, and the other actively anesthesizes and absorbs any social movement that could combat reactionarism. So I stop worrying too much about who I'm casting my ballot for and I dedicate all my political energy to militancy in my communist party, slowly creating class consciousness and setting up ways to eventually protect our own class from the inevitable strike. All of this while being the 12th economy in the world, and consequently, an integral part of the imperialist NATO and EU, facts that no sector of our liberal democracy even questions. And do you think our siblings in the countries victim of the imperialist doctrine of NATO have it any better? When entire elections and governments have been interfered with not by "social media bots", but by actual bloodshed and terror? They don't spend years yelling at each other about who to vote for, they also organize themselves and attempt to emancipate their own class

[genericpuff]

lmao so RS just confirmed she STILL does not, in fact, have a buffer.

FAST PASS SPOILERS AHEAD

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To kick this off, let's be real, 2 weeks is NOT enough time to build up a reasonable buffer.

When she took that 2 week break after the wedding episode went up, I knew 1 of 2 things was going to happen:

She was going to piss away the entire break on social media not getting anything done

Even if she DID get anything done and a reasonable buffer of more than 3-5 episodes built up, the episodes likely wouldn't be very high quality as you can't turn out shitloads of decent quality panels like that in just 2 weeks.

I think Rachel really just needs to acknowledge and take ownership of the fact that she is not good at managing herself, her time, or her team. When she started LO in the Originals section, she even admitted to not having a very strong buffer.

Now yes, in her defense, she hadn't fully transitioned to drawing LO full time when she started, but even still, she seems to treat her FastPass episodes as her buffer rather than creating an actual buffer.

A buffer is not "well I still have 3 episodes locked to the general public" or "I have the next couple episodes sketched up".

A proper buffer is "I have the next several episodes finished and exported and ready for their respective release dates." This ensures that they aren't racing to meet deadlines during the release period after pre-production (which is a surefire way to screw yourself over or write yourself into a corner) and that if anything happens in real life that prevents them from working on future episodes, they can still put out new episodes because they have a cushion of episodes still waiting to be released. Webtoons typically recommends its creators have anywhere from 9-15 episodes of buffer ready by the end of the pre-production phase. That usually means 3 free episodes, 3 FastPass episodes, and at minimum, 9 more episodes sitting on the backend, adding up to a minimum of 15 episodes. It sounds like a lot, but when many WT series run for 40+ episodes per season, 15 is a small number. Especially for a comic like LO which had 90 episodes in its S2 run and 116 in its first season. S3 of LO is already 37 episodes in.

She's also basically admitted to just writing as she goes in the past because most people working on their webtoons in productions like these have at least a decent skeleton of a story going on that they don't have to write as they draw. Writer's block doesn't happen in webcomics unless you're writing as you're going, same as how it doesn't typically happen in animated movies because you should already have a basis to work off of before you start the brunt of the visual work that needs a narrative structure to exist.

Now, all that aside, the reason I'm bringing this up again (as I've talked about her buffer range before) is because I've once again been proven that Rachel doesn't have a shred of a real buffer.

And the smoking gun this time was the horse.

This stupid fucking horse.

Now, besides the fact that we're a little sus this is meant to be an in-comic jab at all the criticism of LO pointing out how Persephone always looks like an MLP character-

-but that pony toy drawing didn't make its first appearance in Episode 241, it made its first appearance on Instagram. Not as a preview for episode 241 or as an official LO drawing, in her own words, 'just a pony'.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

As always, this is still just an estimation based on what goes out in LO and what Rachel posts to her IG/Twitter, but this pretty much tells me her buffer is STILL only 1-2 weeks ahead of time, because that pony drawing time lapse was posted two weeks ago. When we checked the actual timestamp of the post the day the episode it showed up in went up (Episode 241) it was ten days old.

Not to mention, the timestamps on those reddit posts? A month old. Granted, we had been making MLP jokes in the ULO/antiLO community prior to that, but the fact that this "my pretty pony" gimmick came out so soon after someone did literal art of Persephone crossed over with MLP, it really just furthers the suspicion (in addition to shitloads of other instances) that Rachel is snooping in on these crit communities to try and "clap back" at them through her comic. Which is something she'd only be able to do with a limited buffer anyways as it allows her to change things on the fly in response to criticism or whatever hurt her feelings that week.

That said, I won't be certain of this 1-2 week buffer estimation until we see when cowboy hat Hades shows up.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

I'm calling it now - it will be showing up in this week's episode which goes up April 22nd.

Place your bets, folks.

[genshingarbage]

Hiii, Good Morning/Good afternoon/Good evening Mod Kaeya,Mod Diluc^^, It's my first time requesting, Can I request? Angst with any Genshin Impact characters?,Soo The genshin characters are much more spending time with Lumine? Then the reader asks why they aren't spending much time with them and the genshin characters snaps and said the readers are weak ( reader is already insecured because they can't fight) and they have work to do then the reader leaves to fight hilichurl camps and unfortunately there's 2 Mitachurls ,luckly the genshin characters were on time to save the reader? Then they apologized to them? (It's Gn reader^^) sorry if it's alot and sorry if my grammar is wrong you both can disregard this ask stay safe ^^

Good afternoon dear Traveler!! Well done for making your first request! And such a lengthy one too oh my~ Your grammar is fine don’t even worry about it. Sorry for the long wait, Mod Diluc and I have been busy on the Kuzuha banner haha but I hope you enjoy this tear jerking tale (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧- Mod Kaeya

Recommending this song for this oneshot!

Go checkout Anna_drw01 for more art like this!! Here’s her artstation!

The distant scientist, renowned for being hard to get close to was someone you used to consider one of you closest friends. The two of you spent day and night together, hellbent of cracking open every single challenge you possibly could together. Many considered you two to be able to solve any mystery put in front of you together.

The keyword was together.

There was a mystery you yourself couldn’t solve; Why was Albedo’s time with you slowly becoming a rarity?

You’d been wondering why he’d been spending so much less time in the lab he’d meticulously built over years of his life or on site where his precious research was being buried little by little by crystalline flakes, tending to his experiments and recording time sensitive data that would be valuable for months to come for the research team. Albedo had been gone so long both you and Sucrose had designed a plan in order to cover the work he’s left unattended whilst managing your own on top of the store. It was beginning to get concerning. If the leader of the investigation squad was absent constantly then what did that mean for the rest of you? Surely he was only gone for the sake of something important he’d found, something he placed above everything else he was researching. That’s what you lent yourself into believing.

That is, until you saw him with her.

You couldn’t blame him honestly, Lumine was gorgeous. Her golden hair and fiery eyes are what a lot of men probably look for in a partner, even more so was the mystery behind her origins and the raw power she held in her fingertips at any given moment.

You didn’t have to have a vision to be able to tell that.

Maybe that was another thing he sought in her.

A traveling partner that could wield the powers of the elements, a traveling partner that could hold their own against the world. Maybe that wasn’t all he was looking for but also a romantic partner.

He finally came back to the investigation camp briefly one night, it was during a particularly rough blizzard ravaging across Dragonspine and the areas surrounding it a little like a turbulent child tossing snowflakes across already painted, buried monochrome peaks. He trudged into the camp with her rambunctious adventuring party, shouted something over the whipping wind about how they should get warm inside one of the communal tents dotted around the sparse camp halfway up the summit you inhabited and then ducked into the burgundy tent you were working away in with nothing but the clinking of vials harmonizing with the bubbling of flames. It was nothing but candle light right then in the morbid lonely night, only the sounds of the howling gales outside of the ones in your lab. If you’d felt like you were being watched during the night before now, Albedo’s piercing analytical gaze did nothing but soothe the loneliness you’d held inside yourself all night.

“I need a strong multi use Geoculus locator, if we have any.” The blonde said

He must’ve seen your shoulders perk up because he waited patiently as you searched through the shelves upon shelves of prototypes you’ve developed. After somehow finding one, you patted over to him. He seemed pleased with your work, if a bit distant as usual. He was in a good mood so you guessed would be the best time if any to ask. “Sir… with all due respect why have you been away so long?”

Albedo’s pale face was blank as usual though he blinked as if surprised you spoke, “Lumine needed someone with a sufficient Geo vision, I happened to be the one she knew the best to get the job done.”

“So you’ll be returning?”

“I never said that.”

You tried not to take it harshly, this was just how he spoke after all. “…could I come along then?” It was a long shot yes but you still missed his company, if it meant having to deal with him getting buddy buddy with that Outrider then you would suffer. 

It was quiet for a moment between you two as you stared him down and he observed the locator thoroughly. After he was pleased enough with the golden glowing device it was packed away into his back pocket without so much as a second thought, the man was obviously stalling while he thought carefully over the question but the result wouldn’t be to your liking evidently. You were about to make  a point you hoped would be convincing before he spoke, his voice sharp and words cold like the very ice being tossed around the blackened sky.

“No, you’re not a skilled enough fighter so you’d only slow us down more than we can handle to be right now. You’d be useless to us.” He put a hand to his chin for a moment in thought, “If you’d had been able to development a synthetic elemental burst like Sucrose’s swirl mark II…I would have considered but you can’t even do that.”

Watching him leave with them the morning after was torturous, they rushed off into the snowy landscape with barely a goodbye and never a second glance from Albedo beyond that. It stung.

Maybe that’s why when hilichurl camps, specifically ones becoming a nuisance to caravans as well as supply lines along Dragonspine almost avidly to the near point where there would be commissions called in, were brought up in conversation you elected to take a weapon and simply clear them out yourself. You could barely fight one off but usually they were smaller towards the base of the mountain so you figured it would be alright. You would just patch yourself up if you got a bit injured. Surely the pain of the injures would busy your silly little heart long enough to forget about Albedo and his cruel words to you, surely you would barricade your feelings of pining behind walls of broken bones and struggling through the snow. Maybe that was the remedy, the answer you needed to your mystery. Your pleas would probably be hidden by the snowstorms anyways.

Mitachurls unfortunately inhabited bigger camps. Thankfully, Frost Lawlichurls tended to live alone. The former happened to find it’s way to you, charging with the might of a bull on ozmanthys wine. As you were bowled over you heard an abrupt shout, maybe saw a brief flash of familiar golden light as the battle grounds around you erupted further into chaos but it didn’t matter that pale arms were abruptly gripping you to a panicked sword user. Your vision was to blurry, the shouts of attacks and spells too muffled and faint, your body felt too limp to comprehend even the though of moving. You could barely breathe.

Someone was muttering, crouched around you and holding you close, muttering something over and over again. Something important. The feeling of their lips pressed against your forehead, his quiet gut heaving sobs as he rocked you back and forth. Albedo’s pleas for you to just hang on a moment longer—

Where were you again?

There was sunlight and it was warm, a pleasant warmth that almost lulled you back to the sleep you’d fallen into. The only thing that kept you awake was that this was indeed not your bed.

Where were you?

Sitting up hurt, your whole body ached and you were certain something must have been rearranged or was missing because the pain shot through you like an arrow. Your sharp exhale alerted the two others in the room, one who immediately sprinted to get a nurse in an emerald and navy flurry of skirts and capes.

You were dizzy, only steadied by a gentle hand on your limp shoulder. Ah, when did you turn to face him?

The blonde man infront of you asked if you remembered what happened, his voice was soft but didn’t hold any emotion. The smoky circles around his beautiful striking cerulean eyes did nothing but worry you slightly as they implied a long period of time without sleep. You’d imagine him to be the sciency type who didn’t really know what to think of other people so he stayed nose deep in books to pass the time, though there was a deep sadness in the way he held himself you couldn’t understand.

“I don’t…who are you?” You thought you saw him flinch but figured it was a trick of the light.

“No one important, nevermind me.” The man sat up with an unreadable expression even for how blank it had been for this whole brief conversation after you had awoken, getting up from his chair to begin walking to the door when he stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“…for what?” You didn’t understand.

“Nothing that would natter now, please. Rest.”

You didn’t remember.

[stillness-in-green]

should the vestiges have talked more to deku about his evolving philosophy?

Put plainly, they should have argued with him more about his evolving philosophy.

Hit the cut, and bear with me for a bit while I set this argument up.

So like, here’s the thing. Yoichi is one of those characters that I suspect I would like a lot, lot more if I were allowed by the narrative to dislike him. If that doesn’t make intuitive sense, lemme explain further. I have a somewhat contrarian impulse towards characters when I think that the writer(s) are trying to force me to feel strongly positively or negatively towards them. If I have the sense that the writer(s) are telling me, “Look at [X Character]! Aren’t they sooooooo great/awful? Aren't you just beside yourself with how much you want to see them showered in love and victory/humiliation and defeat?” then I have a strong desire to pick the other option out of sheer rebelliousness over being told what to think.(1)

If, on the other hand, the story’s willing to treat its characters with more nuance, I’m a lot more willing to engage with them on the story’s own terms. What that usually boils down to is asking whether other heroic characters are allowed to dislike the Designated Hero, or whether anyone who dislikes him/her is painted as villainous or misled. Conversely, is anyone allowed to find the Designated Villain(2) likable or sympathetic, or is he/she just doomed to be heaped with humiliations and defeats from all sides?

I always think back to Snow, from Final Fantasy XIII—he’s clearly a heroic character, meant to be liked, but he also has his flaws. When Lightning punches him in the face in an early scene, this gives the audience implicit permission to find him kind of clueless and full of himself. On the other hand, Lightning isn’t just an audience surrogate, either; it’s impossible to separate that punch from her feelings about Snow’s relationship with her sister, which she is plainly painted as being in the wrong about. Snow and Lightning are thus both just characters, characters who may on occasion clash with each other without that being turned into some kind of moral referendum.

Yoichi and All For One are, at least as of this writing, moral referendum characters. They didn’t have to be! For a long time, I held onto the hope that they would be allowed some nuance, as BNHA is actually fairly good about lettings its characters have nuance. Not perfect, certainly, but so much better than it first pretended to be. But Yoichi and AFO really are the worst of the lot. They’re Perfectly Good and Perfectly Evil respectively, and I have only limited tolerance for that in the archetypes of an origin myth, much less in active, mortal, human characters.

But as I said, it didn’t have to be that way. Like, AFO was always going to be bad news, though I maintain that he didn’t have to be as bad as he is now—he wasn’t always! I find AFO now to be a much more boring, flat version of the character than the one we started with, to the degree that I like to quip that he really did go around the bend in Tartarus; that several months of solitary confinement with only the teeming masses of quirk vestiges in his psyche and periodic visits from hostile law enforcement to keep him company did, in fact, make him measurably worse.

Yoichi, though? Yoichi could always have been more nuanced than what we wound up with. In his very first speaking appearance, we found him loudly espousing not only that quirks should not be used selfishly, but that quirks should only be used to help others.

Some time back, in a long post about the way I write the MLA, I wrote this:

[Destro’s] belief was that one murderer with a fire ability killing people did not justify barring everyone else with fire abilities from using those powers to fire clay, start campfires, engage in fire-themed performance art, char wood in artistic patterns for money, help park rangers set and direct controlled burns, coordinate explosions for the movie industry, light cigarettes in public, or any other of dozens of possible uses for a fire ability that don’t involve burning people alive.

This is a key distinction on quirk use that Hero Society in its current form doesn’t recognize: there is a vast, vast ideological distance between using a quirk only for the sake of others and using a quirk to commit crimes, and in the space between is a flourishing world full of people using their quirks for self-betterment or gainful employment, for interesting new iterations of sports, for truly dazzling and/or bizarre performance art, and so on.

The reason the characters don’t live in that world, I think, is down to how quirks developed in the setting. The vast majority of the population didn’t wake up one morning with powers; quirks developed rapidly but naturally in the world. There was a significant period of time in which quirk users were the minority, and the current status quo is—at least in HeroAca!Japan—a reflection of laws passed by a quirkless majority several lifetimes ago never having been updated or overturned. And what did those laws guarantee? That the minority population of super-powered people could only ever use their powers for the good of the population as a whole.

Guys. No one tells a kid who’s good at sports, “Okay, but make sure you don’t use those sick b-ball moves for personal gain.” No one tells a kid with a talent for acting, “Okay, but make sure you’re not using that talent selfishly.” The reason quirks were treated differently is because people were afraid of them—because, in the beginning, they really were X-Men-style mutants, people who had powers, many of them dangerous, that "ordinary" people didn't have and couldn't defend against. That fear, and the resulting legislation enshrining it into law, is the whole reason the Meta Liberation Army came about!(3)

That era of fear and absolutism is the one Yoichi grew up in. I desperately wish we could have gotten a Yoichi who was really portrayed as the hardliner that we see in the One For All dream, rather than, to revisit a phrase I used earlier, an origin myth made flesh. All perfect right, no flaws, no reason to butt heads with him unless you’re either wrong or evil.

It’s not just Yoichi, of course. There are elements scattered all through the story that could have been used to make One For All challenging to Deku in ways beyond just the physical. Consider also:

The Second and Third bearers are said to have been leading a group against All For One. We know for a fact that they have killed people over this, despite knowing that a great many of the people AFO uses are manipulated victims. They believed in the greater good of a world without AFO in it, and were willing to be ruthless to make sure they could bring that world about.

All Might said, very early on, that OFA could not be stolen against the bearer’s will, but it could be forcibly transferred to someone who didn’t want it. Why on Earth would All Might know that if it had never happened? Who did it happen to? Who is in that mindscape room who—at least initially—didn’t want to be there? Like many, I’ve always thought the smart money was on the 4th bearer, Shinomori, whose Danger Sense should have been blaring, screaming 5-alarm fire sirens at him in response to even the secondhand sense of hostile intent AFO bears towards people carrying that power. It also fits the narrative of the 2nd and 3rd bearers being willing to be ruthless bastards if that’s what it took to beat AFO, for the 3rd to be the one who forced his power on someone who was fighting it. There’s also the (less interesting) possibility that 2nd forced it onto 3rd because they were in a situation he knew he wasn’t going to survive and he didn’t have time to convince 3rd first. Whichever the case, we never have gotten an explanation on that very eyebrow-raising bit of OFA lore.

My headcanons about Banjo and En are just that, headcanons, but we do know that Banjo was a Pro Hero, and En at the very least calls Banjo his senpai; likewise, Nana and Toshinori were both Pro Heroes. That means that at least three, and possibly four, of the immediate predecessors were heroes in the modern sense of the word, and therefore moving more and more toward the modern-day dehumanization of villains. That’s a harsh view to ascribe to those four, who all seem like good enough people, but Banjo explicitly gave us his viewpoint of Tomura as a guy whose eyes were full of nothing but hate; Nana asked directly if Deku was capable of killing Tomura; All Might never even stopped to think about who this ward of the ultimate villain, the demon king, All For One was, right up until he learned about the family connection.

Nana chose OFA and its duty over her family. True, she may well have been afraid that there was no escaping AFO, no matter where she went or even if she had passed the power on to someone else, and she obviously was trying to protect Koutarou—but I don’t think it was only about protecting Koutarou. She was the one asking Deku if he could kill Tomura if that’s what it took; she even said that she removed herself from Koutarou’s life “to better fight AFO,” which suggests to me that she would always have put OFA before her family.

Yoichi, and everyone his vestige has been passed to, prioritized defeating All For One over any and every other concern. Yoichi even said outright that OFA is a power the entire purpose of which is to defeat one man. Yet as laid out in Chapter 304 and 305, One For All is likely coming to an end very soon because there are precious few candidates remaining who could even take it in its current form. That makes it extremely important that AFO be dealt with now, in this time, by this bearer.

Yet these people—people who lost their lives pursuing this goal, who sacrificed the lives of others for it, who lived through times of strife Izuku before the Edgy Deku arc could only imagine—challenged him on his ideals for—a chapter. Just one chapter. 2nd and 3rd seemed like they might hold out a bit longer, but we found out only five chapters later that even they had been talked around (by Yoichi, not by Izuku himself) before Izuku even woke up!

Another thing I think about a lot—and I’m not the only one; I’ve seen lots of people hypothesizing the AU possibilities of Creepy!OFA—is the quirk metaphysics of all this. Like, not only do some quirks give their bearers a certain innate drive to want to use them (quirks like Toga’s Transform, which I have to imagine would have a very strong vestige indeed), quirks carry a psychic signature in their very DNA. The AFO vestige is melding with Shigaraki’s psyche. All Might in his untransformed state once described the way that people calling for help made his quirk actively stronger, as if pleading voices were issuing commands directly to All Might the hero.(4) We have precedent, and a lot of it, for the way a quirk with a strong “will” can influence any vessel in which it finds itself.

So if OFA is a quirk that has an innate drive to “defeat All For One,” built up and honed over generations for that specific purpose, why was it so damn easy for all those ghosts—and that’s what they are; ghosts in the blood, psychic remnants, vestiges, not the real living, breathing people who once fought and struggled and died to pass that power on to the future—to just shrug and say, “Okay, well, if you want to try something different, 9th, that’s up to you; we’ve got your back because we think your whole ‘saving people’ thing is neat, even if it runs the risk of All For One’s continued existence or your total defeat!”? Even 2nd and 3rd were convinced by a line that runs, “Okay, yes, the boy 9th wants to save is our mortal enemy, but I was related to your mortal enemy, and you gave me a chance, so, kisses,” as if Yoichi and Tomura have present remotely the same intents and threat levels.

Shigaraki Yoichi, the first bearer of One For All, is, in a very real sense, a century-old undead spirit driven by a mission of fratricide. Why in god’s name were he and everyone OFA engraved that mission into so incredibly easy to convince? If Deku’s drive to save is “beyond all common understanding,” why were all those people so understanding?

The series’ answer seems to be that they’re all good and heroic people who, after all, only wanted to stop AFO for the sake of other people, so actually their drive to kill this dude is ultimately about helping people, and that’s what Deku’s all about! But there was still room there for some real debate about how Deku was going to go about that: what he was going to do, how he was going to do it, and whether the one (1) lost ghost of a boy he wanted to save was worth risking all the lives threatened now and on into the future by that boy’s current self and the ghost skin-riding him.

And if OFA really wanted to insist on having its way, it could make itself an enormous problem by following through on any of the stuff the vestige collective is implied to be able to do, like withholding their powers, knocking Izuku out at their own discretion, even up to outright possession.

Now there would be something he could empathize with Shigaraki over.

Alas, we’re stuck with this exhausting conflict between brothers that has all the moral complexity of—explicitly and textually—a JRPG Hero vs. Demon King trope that was already simplistic when it debuted nearly 40 years ago in Dragon Quest and has gotten no more challenging in the decades (and, in the case of AFO and Yoichi, decades and decades and decades more) since.

Thanks for the ask, anon!

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1: Fandom can do this to me—it’s certainly a factor in the way I talk about Dabi—but it has to try harder.

2: This can be an actual villain or just the designated unlikeable asshole on the heroes’ side.

3: Over time, as more and more people develop powers, the X-Men gradually become the norm, and the comparison of fantasy super-powers to a rare but mundane talent becomes more useful, even as arbitrary and outdated distinctions between the kind of super-power you have makes the language of discrimination based on demographic traits more relevant as well. I have a whole other tangent about how I think respectability politics on the part of people with more “acceptable” emitter-style quirks could have contributed to people whose only power was a heteromorphic appearance being left out in the cold, as well as one about how the free quirk-use utopia the MLA had in mind would probably necessitate legal protections for the quirkless, who have now themselves become the minority. Both very fascinating topics to me, but neither of them the point of this post.

4: Vigilantes, Chapter 55.

[minorin-fanfictions]

Falling For You - Jimin Oneshot

Pairing: Jimin × reader (bestfriendtolovers!au)

Warning: mentions of cheating

Angst , Fluff

Word count: 2677

Here you were yet again. All smiles and cheerful. Totally not like the man who had bawled his eyes out over an ex, on my living room. You really couldn't see that she wasn't the one ever meant for an angel like you. But then again, love is blind. But you are an idiot for not noticing her cheating even after all the signs.

Jimin: "Do you think Kara and I would have lasted longer if I had been enough for her?" Of course.... her again. It makes me feel sick to the stomach listening to you still talk about your ex.

"Jimin, your enough for anyone out there. Even if you still love her, please move on." And the worst part is that i have to act like it's not killing me inside when you talk about her.

Jimin: "Y/n i know you will whack me with a magazine if i express my gratitude but thanks for being the bestest friend. I mma sure I'd still be mopping around my house about my love life if not for you."I refuse to accept that my heart clenced when you called me your bestfriend. It's funny how i started resenting that title in high school and look at nothing changing in College either.

"You still owe me a lot of grocery because s0mEoNE can't cook food for themselves so they think eating up others' is alright." His giggle made my playful frown turn into a soft smile. I guess that's Jimin Effect at this point.

~

The first week of Jimin's break up had been a disaster. I had found him crying on his bedroom floor, tears falling with an intensity capable of filling an entire bathtub with salt. He was reluctant to talk in detail about his cheating ex initially but soon spilled everything once he was ready, which was on the 6th day of his break up. The first five days had been spent with him crying his eyes out, while I rubbed his back and helped him breathe through his panic attacks.

The 2nd week, Jimin protected his fragile state in the depth of his silence. We would be in his living room like always yet the difference would be that he refused to speak. He just sat on his sofa with his head on my shoulder while I talked about anything and everything, pausing only to hear him hum in response.

So when I said that hearing him coo over Kara for the past years was painful and i wanted it to desperately stop. It definitely didn't mean that i wanted Jimin to loose sight of himself once he finally had to stop.

During the 3rd week, Jimin became more talkative. He laughed a little at my jokes, smiled at the compliments and cracked a few jests himself which I was obliged to laugh to. We would be in the kitchen while his mom cooked his favourite and i whispered things like, "Psst, I once planned to come to school mad but ended up laughing during the first period because I found you making faces at me from the front." Jimin had laughed so hard once he remembered the incident that he fell off his chair. "As far as i recall, you and chairs have a deep 'seated' hatred towards each other." I noticed his mother smile from the side upon seeing her son doubling over in laughter while Jimin found my pun unnecessarily funny. Not that I minded of course.

I could speak nonsense and Jimin would still appreciate it. We could call at 4 in the morning just to ask things like, 'what if birds aren't singing but screaming because they are afraid of heights' and then we would question our sanity.

I turned to look at him half lying on the couch with his gaze fixed on his phone while his feet laid on top- "PARK JIMIN GET YOUR FEET OFF MY TABLE I CLEANED THE ENTIRE HOUSE YESTERDAY " and cue me chasing Jimin around the house just for the sake of tackling him to the ground. In that moment I realized that Jimin had given me a lot of happiness by just being my bestfriend, the damage I inflicted upon myself after catching feelings was my fault.

~

It's been about a month since Jimin's break up and although he mentions how he had plans for their perfect future, from time to time, he has become more confident himself. Not that it makes me feel less annoyed at him being smitten over a cheater. So i really hope he grows out of what he has gone through before I snap some nec- Jimin: "You know Kara once said-" was all he was able to say on our peaceful walk out of the campus before i cut him off. "How about I don't want to know what Kara once said?" I replied sharply. "Do you hear yourself right now? Kara is gone and it is for the better."

Jimin simply nodded mumbling an apology and i felt bad for the way i said it. We continued walking but he still didn't bring his head up. Cautiously intertwining our hands together I gave his hand a light squeeze to which he responded with squeezing mine back. Not feeling satisfied i started swinging our arms back and forth, constantly bumping my shoulder with his to which he laughed. Jimin shook his head and smiled saying, "You have a unique way of showing that you feel bad but since I adore you, I accept your apology."

"I wasn't apologising for anything," i felt my ears burned as a result of his previous words.

"Mhm ofcourse" Jimin sarcastically said.

"Yes of course"

"I believe you"

"Like you should!"

We bickered. Like always. Having been friends for almost a decade, a silent apology for arguments or just going back to being crack heads was normal. And I could never be more glad for that. Everything seemed normal again.

"Umm.. Hey Jimin." a voice stuttered. We looked back in unision only to find Jimin's ex. Perhaps things only 'seemed' normal.

"Jimin, can I talk to you," Kara eyed me continuing, "alone?" I tugged at Jimin's sleeves and that is enough for him to know that he shouldn't cave in, so he hesitantly replied, "You can say it here."

"But it is supposed to be between us for privacy reasons," Kara inhaled sharply. Hearing her speak nonsense I voiced my thoughts, " I don't think you are well aware of the definition of either 'us' or 'privacy' between two people" Jimin holds Yukari in place when he notices her being two steps away from pouncing at Kara.

Jimin: "You can talk here, afterall, there is no 'us' any longer"

Kara: "Babe, give me a chance."

I interrupted, "Call him a pet name again. I dare you"

Kara visibly shuddered maybe because she knew that I was willing to throw hands at anyone hurting my friends.

Kara: "J-jimin, I am sorry for what i did. I know what I lost is irreplaceable. You are irrepla-"

"So it took you an entire month to know his worth or did you just run back to him because you got dumped," I hissed

Jimin reached forward to grab hold of my arm but I shrugged it off as soon as he made contact with me.

"You think ruining someone's perspective on love is alright? You did not cheat once. Nor was it an accident. Which cheap person would cheat for 8 consecutive months until they get caught? Apparently , you would." With each word I moved closer to Kara while Jimin did his best to hold my hand. But in an instant I yanked his hand away and was about to go into a full blown rage not really afraid of throwing hands. And that is when Jimin snapped, "You better stop Y/n!"

Time stilled. I gave Jimin a sceptical look waiting for him to continue.

He inhaled deeply, calming his nerves before addressing me, "Let me speak."

"What will you say? You will forgive her? Take her back? Wait for her to cheat agai-"

"Y/n," Jimin's stern voice cut me off.

His gaze fixated on me, not acknowledging Kara, "You know that she meant the entire world to me for 2 years, right? I will forgive her b-"

I stared incredulously at Jimin before blurting, "You should mean nothing to me." I speedily walked past them immediately, trying to calm my nerves so that the stinging in my eyes would ease.

Author P.O.V

On the other hand, Jimin realised the wrong meaning of his words and accelerated towards his best friend only to be stopped by his ex, "Jimin, please hear me out"

Jimin glared at her saying, "When I said I forgive you it didn't mean that I want you back."

Kara pleaded, "Don't leave me"

"She needs me and I need to fix it," was all Jimin said before he dashed after Y/n, stumbling down the hallway to reach his best friend.

"This is why we never worked out! It's her! It has always been her! You always left me when she needed you. You prioritised her even when I was you girlfriend! For once stay-"

Kara's voice became distant as he was further away from her but her first few words surely did not fall upon deaf ears.

He heard it. He heard her telling him how Y/n was the reason of their downfall. He heard her telling him how Y/n was the reason of her insecurities. He heard her telling him how his care and worry for Y/n outweighed what he felt for Kara. But he already knew that. Jimin was well aware that it was his mistake for giving himself to Kara just to overcome the attraction he had built for a certain bestfriend of his. Over the years, your heart often chooses the one who gets you most. The one that calls you stupid for crying while embracing you or maybe the one that cries with you over a movie. And he knew. He knew now , 'the one' for him.

~

"Y/n! Listen!" Jimin screamed as soon as he saw her just a few steps in front of him, standing under the bus stop shade. Thankfully, no one was around to witness Y/n's panicked state and Jimin's rushed words. Seeing that she completely ignored his call, he paced towards her and whirled her around to face him. "Please listen and don't say I mean nothing to you. It hurts."

"4 years. I waited for 4 years hopelessly. You think you are hurt? Well then i guess I am miserable," Y/n's voice wavered. Although confused by Yukari's words he still tried to get her to understand his prior actions, "No no no... J-just listen."

"No. You listen, Park Jimin! Please. Listen." Y/n snapped and Jimin immediately shut himself willing to hear her let it out. "It was difficult..." she cleared her throat to not let the lump grow further, "when I had to get through the moments where you cooed over your girlfriend and I silently contemplated on how to get over you. It was difficult to see you cry over her. It was obvious that you loved her a lot and maybe I was jealous that it would never be me whom you'd love in that manner." The all to familiar stinging was back in her eyes, "Each year that went by where we remained friends, I loved you even more! Honestly, having a guy bestfriend is truly amazing. Until you fall in love with him." She tilted her head to the side, "Jimin... I don't think my heart can take watching you love someone else again.... Not when everything in me is drawn to you!"

Once she ended her rant, realisation hit Jimin like a truck. He could have ended their sufferings if he hadn't been so afraid of ruining what they shared.

"Y/n.. I didn't know you felt that way"

As soon as, Y/n registered the words she had spoken during her rant, she wished the ground beneath would just swallow her. Completely mortified by her actions she looked for an escape.

"Let’sJustPretendThisNeverHappened."

Jimin frowned upon hearing her, "I’m not okay with just pretending."

Regaining her composure she phrased her next words, "I am so sorry Jimin. This was never part of my plan. We were supposed to be best friends but i ruined it."

"We might as well have been dating this entire time," Jimin sighed

" I know I- Excuse me, wait what? You don't mean..." Y/n wondered if she heard correctly.

He cheekily smiled in return, "Are you going to panic again if I confess?"

"Why didn’t you say something sooner, you jerk!? I- Oh gosh, I could have saved myself from all the embarrassing moments and you are telling me this now? Like, really? Am I a joke-"

"Would you like me to say it now?" Jimin interrupted her mini rant

"Hey! No! Listen! Don't cut me off-"

"I love you," Jimin tenderly reached for her hand and for once she didn't move away

Silence. Like he expected.

"I love you," Jimin repeated.

She stared at him and he knew she was trying. Trying to find the right words.

"I love you more than just as my best friend"

"Why so suddenly?" The question lingering in her thoughts was finally spoken.

“I- Well- You know I’m not good with these confessions," Jimin sighed, "But the thing is- I couldn't- just ruin our friendship with my mistakes. You are my.. umm… priority... You’ve always been important. To me.”

"Why me?" Y/n squeezed Jimin's hand and he tried to be smooth with his confession.

"Well, I love your face. And the stuff on it like your eyes and that small mole beside your ear, which apparently are very red right now." He chuckled to which Y/n playfully glared at him, "Also the things around your face such as your hair. Y'know.. The thing is, it’s you, okay?.. it's just you. Only you, in general.”

Very smooth indeed.

On the other hand, the corner of Y/n's lips tugged upwards upon see their stuttering roles reversed. She ruffled his soft locks and smiled. But before she could reply, a bus stopped in front of them and soon became vacant as people began exiting it.

"Let's go home, dum dum," Y/n entered it.

Meanwhile, Jimin followed her, constantly nudging and whispering, "Hey, gimme an answer" "I literally just confessed thrice" "C'mon just once" "pLEaSe" All to which, Y/n either rolled her eyes or teased Jimin by ignoring him.

~

Jimin walked Y/n home but refused to move away from her doorstep, only staring off in space. It was silent until he broke it,

“If I even slightly pecked your lips, would you smack me? Because I want to kiss you, but not if you’re going to jab me in the ribs.”

"I will, in fact, jab you in the ribs if you do that without even taking me on a date"

Jimin immediately became giddy at the thought of a date with his best friend and quickly rummaged for his phone, typing a message. All while, Y/n stared at his antics, bewildered once she saw him look up at her eagerly. Her phone soon rang notifying a message and upon reading it she let out a laugh.

Jm🐥: I'll pick you up at 8, tomorrow morning. So dress up in any comfortable clothes since I will only take you back home at night.

She typed 'sure✨, dum dum' and entered her house, but not before giving Jimin a quick hug to which he responded by a tight squeeze.

Y/n leaned against the door frame after closing it and tried to control the erratic beating of her heart while the tender confession he whispered during their hug echoed in her ears like lullaby, throughout the night.

[ofeliaslullaby]

Fleabag Season 2: A Discourse on Love

Finally caved and watched season 2 of Fleabag. And I say caved as if I haven't been waiting for this show to come back for a solid 2 years...but I was saving it for a day when I truly needed something to rival my own stuff. I knew Fleabag would, because it had when the first season premiered in the US. The poetry of the show really has a way of putting some things into perspective. Season 1 seemed like a discourse on friendship, grief, guilt and self-worth. Season 2 felt like a discourse on love. There will be spoilers.

Firstly:

This season was a love story. Not the storybook, happily-ever-after love (There are no happily-ever-afters in Fleabagland, just there-will-be-pain-but-it-will-get-better-afters), but love in all it's grotesque complexity. After watching the season I took the "this is a love story" opener to not just be about Fleabag's ironic love for the Catholic Priest, but loving yourself (Belinda's monologue, Claire's haircut, Fleabag's new care for herself), familial love (Fleabag's relationship with her sister and father), Martin's love for Claire, and Claire's love for her work and Klare (Claire/Klare will never not be funny and cute). And the Godmother "loves" the Father and art but really I think she just loves attention and the idea of eccentrism.

The first episode hits you hard. It takes place over a year after we leave Fleabag at the end of season 1, and she's doing well, as is the guinea pig café. She is seemingly no longer blaming herself for Boo's death, no longer using sex as a form of escapism, and genuinely valuing herself. We once again get to voyeur through some of Fleabag's life moments. When it all kicks off we go from insufferable family dinner/engagement party for the Dad and the Godmother (who I didn't even remember were not married) with the Catholic Priest they got to marry them, brother-in-law Martin who we despise and the sister we haven't spoken to in over a year; to a tragic and intimate scene in the restaurant bathroom between the two sisters, and almost immediately back to the awkward dinner table where all hilarious hell breaks loose. This formula continues, as it did in the first. If you're not laughing, you're wanting to cry. Such is life, I suppose.

You get a little more context this season behind Claire and Fleabag's relationship. Like all relationships its complex (I feel like there were times when it felt like my relationship with my older sister), but there is love there. So much love. In the bathroom scene in the first episode it is obvious Fleabag is concerned for her sister, while her Claire is distraught, embarrassed, and eventually we come to find out relieved. When they get back to the table and Martin makes remarks that are clearly only hurting the Claire's feelings, Fleabag intervenes because she loves her sister and doesn't want to see her suffer anymore that night. Championing Claire to leave Martin (was rooting for this), that was love. It was obvious Martin loved Claire, he says as much in the scene, but they were not right for each other. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're meant to be (something we get shown more than once in the finale). A defining moment in their onscreen relationship is when Claire says to Fleabag that the only person she'd run through an airport for is her. A few episodes before this scene we'd learned that what always looked like disdain on Claire's part was jealously and resentment stemming from her own feelings of inadequacy. By the finale I feel like Claire had gotten over some of those issues. When she leaves the wedding for the airport (guess there was someone else she would run through an airport for), I was cheering for her. Phoebe and Sian have so many dynamic scenes together that wouldn't work if the two didn't have amazing chemistry. I love them as sisters, and I love the characters' relationship.

Speaking of chemistry:

Of course, Fleabag would fall in love with the emotionally unavailable. Phoebe and Andrew's chemistry is so good. They played easily off each other's quirks and The Priest sees Fleabag in a way the other characters aren't able to (he notices her zoning out/fourth wall breaks). I could've watched this relationship play out for years. But alas, some things aren't meant to be.

It was obvious the two would end up together, just as obvious as it was that they were never going to last, as friends or a couple. When Fleabag breaks the fourth wall early on she says "we'll last a week". They're both a little dysfunctional, and we never fully get to hear why The Priest is the way he is (he always gets cut off when he tries to explain his past, only getting as far as "When I was a child..." and that he wasn't close to his mother). Through their relationship though, we see that even though it's been some time Fleabag is in fact still coping with the death of her mom and Boo. I feel like part of what she was looking for in their relationship was reassurance, as she turned to the Bible and prayer (something she would never have done previously, as an atheist), where she would normally have only turned to sex and alcohol or other ways to harm herself. When she and The Priest finally do have sex, we the invisible friend have our view almost immediately cut off. Has Fleabag ever done this? She usually narrated her sexual exploits. I feel that adds to the fact that this intimacy with the Priest was love, not a means of escape like the other times.

What I said earlier about the Godmother I say with a tiny grain of salt because I do realize that it's all subjective. We only see Fleabag's point of view. However, she's still the worst. She collects "friendships" like commodities and talks about them in terms of listen descriptors, most clearly shown when she introduced people in the finale. There is no real redeeming of the Godmother for Fleabag after she went from being the Mother's "best friend" to the Father's special someone. And it's hard to tell if the Father really loves her or if he's afraid of her/afraid of being on his own. Fleabag has a lovely heart to heart with her Dad (which acted also as a callback to a scene a few episodes earlier at the mother's funeral) in the finale where in a foreboding moment he says to her "I think you know how to love better than any of us. That's why you find it all so painful." Fleabag replies to us voyeurs tersely, "I don't find it painful". She definitely did. Look at the way she dealt with Boo's death. Yes, there was guilt, but she loved her. She loved her mother and having to see her Godmother with her Father, and being told snyly says she modeled the bust after her mom, her reaction...that's pain from love. We know Fleabag's love and grief for her mother were just as strong as the love and grief she had for Boo. In a flashback scene to after her mother's death, she tells Boo she doesn't know what to do with all the love she felt for her mom and how painful it is. Boo says to give it to her, she'll take it. Boo was a real one. I don't remember Fleabag breaking the fourth wall in these flashback moments (maybe I need to watch it again), but that got me thinking that we're probably taking the place of Boo. The person she lost who shared her laughter, her love, and her grief. We're her echo.

The final scene is heartbreaking to watch play out. You kind of know it's coming especially during his wedding speech, which he seemingly recited to her. The whole season spanned such a short period, but there is an immediate investment in what could be between these characters, and for the Priest this was the only real way this could end. There was no way he was leaving the priesthood. He warned her and thus we were warned, but we don't listen when it comes to the things we want. I was sad for her and him, but as Brittany Howard sings out to the credits (and The Priest's fox-foe pursues him); with a shake of the head that says "you don't need to follow me" and a wave goodbye we, the invisible friend, are reassured she's going to be alright. This was a wonderfully poignant way to end the series. It basically ended as the pilot ended, Fleabag on her way with the stolen bust of her mother in hand. I don't think it could've ended any better.

*I've had this in my drafts for maybe six months, started a new blog, decided to finally edit and post it. If you're reading this I hope you enjoyed it. -S*

[blackrupee]

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar