#turlough is NOT invited to the river song & rogue

[magiefish]

New Who: Oh? What's this? It appears the Doctor has just met a duuuuubious antihero, who may or may not be trying to *gasp!* assassinate them! But, oh dear! This assassin is also extreeemeeely ~sexehyy~ and has fallen head over heels for the Doctor because they're just soooo smart and handsome tee-hee-hee: oh, wherever shall this lead? 😉

Classic Who: Ugh, sex?? In Doctor Who?? Oh no no no, absolutely not, completely unbefitting of general audiences (unless it's just the costumes). However, in exchange we can offer you our *own* dubious antihero on the TARDIS team. What's that? Are they a dashing rogue? A killer queen? Ahahahaha, oh, how positively silly --

they're an alien with the complexion of a sickly Victorian child being harassed by a man with a bird on his head, exiled to a public school where he was forced to role-play being a schoolboy for an unspecified period of time before repeatedly trying and failing to kill the Doctor while screaming in anguish a lot. Of course.