#tumblr dot com is blue and there's nothing i can do

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

If Sappho and Elagabalus were on Tumblr, they'd both be thirstbloggers, but Sappho's posts would be sensual yearning while Elagabalus's would be incomprehensible outside Extremely Online circles of fellow transgender weirdos

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

Nah, Sofie Fatale would usher Tumblr into a new golden age

tumblr continues to be purchased by worse and worse companies until it’s finally shut down under the management of the yakuza

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

Prediction for 2025: theological discourse erupts on Tumblr when someone extrapolates from Biblically accurate angels and brings up the subject of "Quranically accurate jinn"

[hallowclave]

What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently

Original photo

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 17/12

Anonymous asked: re: your responsive timeline theory: "There is nowhere, however huge the multiverse is, where Sam Vimes as he is now has murdered Lady Sybil. But the theory is quite clear. It says that if anything could happen without breaking any physical laws, it must happen. But it hasn't… So what people do matters! People invent other laws. What they do is important… It means the multiverse isn't infinite and people's choices are far more vital than they think." - night watch you and pterry seem to be on similar pages about this lol

Oh, nice! That's one of my favorite moments in all of Discworld, and I've brought it up before when discussing Paradox Space.

I'm pretty sure I was thinking about it when I came up with Responsive Timeline in the first place. Having someone reference it in an ask is a fun way to bring things full-circle.

@necrowyrm asked: Welcome Baaaaaaaack!!!!!!!! @whyequalsemexplusbee asked: I've literally had this date marked on my calendar, Act 6 by the new year let's goooooooo! @goldsleeps asked: it's very nice to have your particular pale green showing up on my dash again. @skaiamechanic asked: I am so happy to see your notifications again whenever you post. Welcome back, you're one of the main reasons I'm still on Tumblr, and good luck getting to Act 6! @elkian asked: Welcome back! I'm hype to see you post again :D good luck with your goal, but please take care of yourself! @nebularious asked: On the 1st day of Christmas, thewertsearch gave to me!

Thanks, everyone! I'm happy to be back, and I'm finding I have a lot more energy after taking a little break. Onwards to Act 6, indeed!

@morganwick asked: There literally, actually is a Burger King less than 40 minutes from Rose's house. That may sound simple and obvious, but when fans figured that out after this ran it practically blew their minds.

Her area is fairly remote - but there's a limit to how remote you can really be when you're living in the state of New York, right?

(^ she knows nothing about US geography)

@animation-recaps-by-sean asked: The troll sprites didn't automatically die at the end of the game, it's implied that Jack hunted them down and killed them

Wait, really? I had a little search through the comic there, but I can't find any statements implying that this is the case, unless they're in a walkaround somewhere.

Maybe I missed it - if so, send me a link and I'll take a look!

@catlikeascendant asked: idk if you go here but are there any ships you are interested in/think will be canonized? like it or not, it is a pretty important part of the story!

Thewertsearch dot tumblr dot com is a certified Rosemary nation. That's the only ship I'm really ride-or-die for, and the only one I am absolutely 100% sure will be canonized.

If you're interested, I made a full list of my ships back at the end of Hivebent, which I still mostly stand by - although I might need to rethink the ones involving Gamzee, specifically.

@relaxxattack asked: it’s so crazy that your “jump back in” point is perhaps the most fast paced and high stakes part of the entire comic. i absolutely love this arc, but i do NOT envy having to grapple with it directly after a hiatus!

I know, right?

Honestly, it's probably a good thing. The pacing is really energizing me - I haven't been able to blog at this pace since early Hivebent.

@morganwick asked: "The terms of a God Tier permadeath are defined according to the case of the individual - which implies that Heroic and Just are subjective, even to Sburb. It sounds like there might not be any ironclad rules, and that everyone's ruling works differently." Or as another liveblogger put it, when she got to the line in question: "In other words, 'by Andrew Hussie'."

Heh. That's what it ultimately boils down to, doesn't it?

I can grumble about 'canon' and 'meta shenanigans' until I'm blue in the face - but at the end of the day, the story will go in the direction that Hussie wants it to go. No ifs, ands or buts.

@krixwell asked: I actually think the "no lying" thing is essential to making Doc Scratch as intimidating as he is. He makes it pretty clear that (assuming it's real) it's a self-imposed challenge – he's handicapping his own manipulation just for fun, and he's still massively confident that what he's doing will work out exactly how he wants it to anyway. Normally such hubris would be a surefire sign of a character's imminent downfall, but because he's near-omniscient, we the readers know that his confidence isn't unfounded. We know he has very solid reasons to believe his main designs cannot not succeed, even with dark pockets here and there. I just think it does a fantastic job at selling the idea that his designs are inevitability itself, his guidance hopeless to struggle against, his words the rails on the one way track of the alpha timeline.

Hm. I do like that, I have to say.

It's fun picking away at Scratch's chatlogs, trying to find statements that are technically 'false' - but the fact that he presents himself as truthful and yet succeeds in his manipulations anyway is very strong characterization. And it's that much stronger if Hussie's intention was that Scratch really, truly never lies.

[triflesandparsnips]

Lot of takes going around the internets about certain "deaths" in the ofmd season finale, so, uh-- guess it's time for me to try and lose some followers on tumblr dot com with

Some Thoughts on Why I Am Not Particularly Bothered or Concerned about Izzy's Apparent "Death"

Laying the groundwork first...

1. Narratively speaking, Izzy's been a dead man walking since the start of the season. Babe shot himself and got a rebirth-- but he still definitely intended to die. Every minute he was still around was borrowed time.

Did he have to die? Maybe not. I know I could've written a version of the show where he didn't. But then that would be my show-- not theirs. I can't know exactly what themes, bugbears, bête noires, catharsis, or artistic Vibes are driving that writers' room, and until the credits run on the finale of the third season, none of the rest of us can either.

2. Izzy spent the season being in a liminal state-- and there's nothing in the story saying that he can't continue doing that. Izzy spent the season having one foot in one space, one hoof in the other, and himself halfway through the door, a chimera of mirrored things right up to his "death": pirate and ship, hard and soft, old ways and new, etc etc. But "the gravy basket" is a weird little liminal space between life and death, a place that both Ed and Buttons have found (and returned from) before. We don't know where Izzy "is" right now-- he could be there.

(tbh, I wonder how much poor feeling we'd be having about all this if we'd gotten a final tag of a blue-washed Izzy staring down at a bowl of soup while helplessly saying "but this isn't gravy, what the fu--")

3. I think there is an unfortunate belief that "it's not real unless you see the body" is a universal -- or perhaps inarguable -- "fact" of storytelling. But it's not. It's just a bit of narrative shorthand that got popular, and now we're too ready to fall into the trap of believing the inverse is true too-- that if there is a body, then there must therefore have been a "real" death.

This season has spent quite a lot of narrative time and effort telling us that its story is using a different model, with different shorthands; specifically, that magic is real, that there is at least some kind of existence after death, and that the dead can be resurrected.

And that brings me to the meat of why I'm not particularly bothered or concerned about what, at this stage of the story, could still very well be just a minor setback--

4. This whole show, and particularly this season, is a fairy tale. It's a story that works with fairy tale logic and tropes, and it's in conversation with other fairy tales too, ones that the OFMD audience is likely to know well enough to spot their narrative beats in action. So "Pinocchio" gets mentioned a lot? Cool-- the audience applies what is commonly known of that story to this one ("a real boy", the mirror-opposite being a puppet with no nose, etc), and finds some Cool Shit. Then they're primed to keep looking for fairy tales, even unnamed ones, in case there's another little nugget of reward-dopamine for finding a connection.

So the fact that we saw a mermaid? Suddenly, I personally am noticing "Little Mermaid" motifs all over the place. That Ed was in a "sleep like death" -- after fucking around with a spinning wheel -- until his prince came to wake him? Well fuck, man, that's Blackbeard playing "Sleeping Beauty" for us all.

And bringing it all back to a "dead" Izzy Hands... when I add up a "dead" body surrounded by a bunch of laborers mourning the person who nominally kept their living space nice AND who was wanted dead by an authority figure for the crime of being the "better" version of what that figure wanted to be...

...well fuck, idk about the rest of you, but to me that all adds up to Izzy's story being Snow fucking White. Waiting for someone to come pull the bullet poisoned apple from his body so he can live again.

5. This is a second season. Of three. And Izzy Hands is the writer's favorite chewtoy, so there is lots of time, space, and incentive to bring him back. If there's a third season, we have a pile of ways he could be brought back over the course of hours of literal viewing time and possibly months of in-narrative time. That's ages.

And the solutions don't have to be difficult! For instance, we still have canonical hallucinations from Stede-- that's one route. Or fuck it, we could have Izzy's (very solid-looking) ghost be the embodiment of their being haunted by the Sea, that would work too.

And even barring all that-- his grave is right there with our heroes. The ship is out there hunting down his murderer. Even if you're happy he's dead... bad news, friend. He's all over the third season landscape. (uh oh, it's GNU Izzy Hands)

But those are just a few options that leave his body rotting but his character still alive. I happen to think we could all dream a little bigger, darlings. For instance:

A. You cannot tell me that these writers, on this show, with these actors, would not absolutely go all in on a zombie-esque hand thrusting out of the dirt mere hours after burial. Look me in the eyes and tell me Con O'Neill wouldn't pull off an entire digging-out scene only to end with himself panting beside the hole, looking around, hearing Ed and Stede being weird in their haunted hut, and wearily say, "Are you fucking kidding me."

B. Don't like zombies? Want to stay closer to the Snow White vibe AND introduce a love interest for him? One hyphenated word: body-snatcher. Gotta dig those bodies up fresh for the Definitely Historically Accurate anatomists of the time! But oh, says this New Guy, this corpse is-- wow, it's weird that they buried him with a rose and really amazing makeup and a truly extraordinary number of whittled whales, plus what's with that horsey leg grave marker, this guy must've been fucking fascinating, man, I wish I could've met him-- --at which point Izzy's hand shoots out and chokes the guy half to death and the lads come tumbling out of the house and ta da, mission accomplished, Izzy resurrected in 5 minutes or less with his horsey leg conveniently beside him and an entire season for himself and everyone else to Deal With It, amazing, fantastic, no notes from me.

C. Come to think of it, there is genuinely a non-zero chance that the crew just. Fucked up the burial. I mean... even though I was just arguing why we shouldn't see it as Law, we didn't actually see the body. We saw a grave. What did they bury him in? Was it a box? Was it some canvas? Did they definitely pick up the right one when it was time to bury him? Or did they maybe carefully make him an ahistorical safety coffin just in case a cat demon came to bother him and his corpse wanted to make a fuss about it, y'know, very common, could happen to anyone, and Frenchie just so happens to have Blackbeard's old collar bell right here--

6. Here's the bottom line, imo: The only thing that would keep Izzy really actually dead and completely removed from the story is a lack of narrative time and space-- and we have plenty of both. Stories are like Lego. If you've got enough time and you're willing to play with pieces from a whole lotta different sets, it's not hard to put the same elements together in different ways to get new, exciting configurations. It's why I'm actually rubbish at predicting exact details of stuff-- there are a lot of ways something could go, there are infinite doors out of problems the narrative seems to throw at us, and no two people will come up with the same thing because we're all different.

That, to me, is one of the big ways I personally enjoy and engage with stories. And it's why I genuinely can't be fussed about Izzy's death, not when we're only two-thirds through the story as a whole; observing someone setup and then try and execute a complicated narrative trick is my jam.

But my way of engaging with all this is by no means the best or only way. How we all interact with art, and what speaks to us, is extremely personal. If how this season and Izzy's death went just didn't work for you, that's okay. I'm sorry it wasn't the story you wanted it to be. That blows.

I just know I can't say yet that it didn't work for me. I won't know until I can take in the entire picture, just as I can't judge a finished Lego set by the one piece I step on midway through construction. I can see different ways Izzy's death/rebirth could absolutely work, but will the writer manage it? I dunno.

But I'm willing to wait and see if the stupid puppet can pull it off.

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

Where's that post that compared a straight man taking dating advice from WLW to "learning firebending from the dragons"

[aflo]

Not me being fandom hatecrimed and passive aggressively dog piled on THE fandumb website tumblr dot com by a dumb bitch with a cowboy url and an even dumber bitchass OP with Gigi Studio Ghibli Icon and even stupider tacky shitass tungle.hel pride badge that this self proclaimed "cunt" OP of a shitty tumblruniversitycore shit post willingly put on her blog to match and you two wanna act like you're the ones who better than me for daring to vague about Hazbin Hotel on tumblr dot com on a post that was already about some dumb fandumb discourse about a tungle.hell demon show and feeling safe enough to just tag what I was talking about because I thought that I could trust an even more basic bitch than anyone, not to try to be a fucked up little snobby bitch acting like they hold some kind of higher fandumb ground than anyone else on a post where that bitch OP with a fuckass anime icon is whining about apparently dragging her musty, crusty, ugly, greasy, McMemeShitPoster skinny Leah Michelle Gleeky (since you fave poor taste enough to actually like Supernatural That Much) Funny Tumblr Girly ass to a musty crusty Supernatural Convention that was probs just dashcon (because you know you be suckin' tumblrs whole blue veiny dick when you willingly put a tumblr badge on your blog cause you're that basic), to get willingly hatecrimed by your favorite Live Action Tumblr Blorbo TM, Mr. Jensen Fucking Under House Arrest Stubbed His Toe on Rusty Nail and Died Trying to Remove His Ankle Bracelets or Whatever...

Gurl I could never have taste that mediocre I'm sorry you ether don't eat, or don't eat anything but McDonald's cause you thought that meme was so funny.

And to think I wasn't gonna put this shit on my blog or try to add anything I just knew I was gonna get some nasty, hypocritical, passive aggressive tag typing, shitty memed up response to my addition because originally my only knee jerk response in my head when I saw this was "... Not the #Supernatural Discourse, though...Be kind to yourself.... Don't even lower yourself Sweetie ... Don't look, don't even look at them ... You know Hazbin already has a much sweeter, saner, queerer, kinder, safer fandom environment than the Death by Rusty Nail CW Show.... Just don't!"

But I did... And now I guess I can say for certain that Supernatural Fans TM are just as Mean Spirited and Crusty as their Infamous Shows ending! But It was probably like your entire personality for a while there so what more could I expect? :D

Like I'm sorry your own fandumb etiquette needs an oil can and you're obvi limegreen jelly because vivziepop fans have the power of Mara Wilson, Jinkxx Monsoon, Kesha Rose, John Waters, and probz soon Lady Gaga on our side and all you have is your anime cat icon from an overrated studio and that tacky ass tumblr badge while you forgot what it was like to have your fandom be everyone else's punching bag for a hot minute and you're feeling insecure and treating me like you must've been treated, just for adding to your post about an obnoxious experience with an actor in a tumblr fandom, sharing my own obnoxious experience with an actor in a tumblr fandom. which ultimately was a harmless thing for me to share on a post on the fandumb website that means nothing ...

But it turns out having a much happier fandom experience than yours is what I get when my shows have an actually queer show runner and a bunch of queer icons doing actual queer representation, and admittedly annoying and well meaning alleys that show actual passion about their projects like I'm sorry that your taste is so poor you actually wanted to fuck Dean Wince Emotionless or were queer baited by him or whatever but I'm different, and apparently, the only Actual Cunt on this post right now is me, being brave enough to have The Nerve.

So OP, the next time you feel so holier than thou to make fun of a person on tumblr dot com talking about their experience with a show about demons, while you're also talking about your experience with a show about demons, please consider closing out the Cringe Fandumb Website we're both using right now, touch your feet to the grass, and while you're on that grass, please touch your feet to the same exact rusty nail your Precious Ankle Fuckboy did and die. :D

And if you're too lazy to do that much, at least get your little cowgirl over yonder in the tags who mumbled at me for demon fandom discoursing on your post about demon fandom discourse, to have her little Striker Helluva Boss Moment and try and track me down and assassinate me for you by feeding me cookies with rusty nails in them. Since you'd apparently like me to disappear so badly. ;)

Because I think that's the only way to get me Shut The Fuck Up Hazbin Hotel Fan TM. Us Hazbin Hotel Fans aren't gonna be shutting fuck the up anytime soon. Not sorry. ;)

Also not sorry to break it to you OP, honey.... But you know being a Supernatural fan making fun of a Hazbin Hotel fan is like you're Toby McGuire Spider-Man and I'm Tom Hardy Venom over here, right?

Same Thing. Same Concept. Almost cut from the same cloth. Only my cloth is a little bit more high quality, a little more flashy, a little more fashionable, certainly more explicitly queer fashion, and again, just a little more comfortable to be in because it's made by people who actually have a heart, soul and passion to put into their work. Too bad the people cutting your cloth didn't have a heart and neither do you or your friends now . ;) ♥ X.O

😨

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

Me when I scroll past the comment section on a YouTube video

I must not respond to the bad take. Responding to the bad take is the mind-killer. Responding to the bad take is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face the bad take. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the bad take has gone there will be nothing. Only I (and my good takes) will remain.

[tactician]

today is the FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the dnd campaign that i am a member of...!! so you know that a long rambling post is 100% in order.

five years ago, i played dnd for the very first time. (the date on that post says the 16th but that's because we played for like a billion hours and it went past midnight. because of course it did.) i remember being so, so nervous about it bc i seriously knew next to nothing about dnd. i had never watched any tabletop shows or anything and i was pretty much totally new to improv. i had no idea what a d20 was. i wish i was kidding. i truly just dived right in there. (fitting, i guess, since the character i play is a triton... LMFAO).

i'm so glad that decided to try it out regardless bc it has paid off in ways that i can't even begin to express fully... this campaign has accompanied me through so many life events - both the good and the bad - and i cherish each and every one of our Merry Band of Misfits' adventures. even when shit hit the fan and encounters got tense or chaotic in some form, it ended up making for some absolutely wonderful memories. i'm so glad that that reides - my lil blue fish lad!!! - is a member of the champions valoris.

reides is a character who is extremely near & dear to my heart and he has really awakened a creative side of me during these past five years. i always strive to be a player who can live up to him and do his character the justice that it deserves. even 'beyond' the campaign, i have so much fun writing stuff related to him, making crafts related to him, coming up with art ideas for him and getting comms of him... simply rotating him in my mind. you know how it is. really, i think it's impossible to sum up what reides means to me because he's just... REIDES!!! (also, peep the original token i had for him vs his current one... so cute. just so cute.) i seriously love all of the stuff that everyone else at the table makes for their own characters, too! playing pretend with your friends is fr one of the most healing experiences ever; we all gently feed off each other's creativity in such a lovely way. the passion we all have for our respective characters and the overall setting of the campaign is infectuous, and that passion - coupled with a whole lot of hard (yet fun!!!) work - has made for a story that is nothing short of legendary.

so i just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude and say that i am honored to share a table with these incredibly creative individuals who have saved me in so many ways!!! big shoutouts to my fellow player, @mintflavoredwindows, who plays kilwin, the EXTREMELY blessed (teehee cleric joke) blond lad standing next to reides in that little chibi line-up of our characters (and who also takes the time to write AMAZING!!!!!! session synopses which all of us read time and time again; they are fr a lifesaver not to mention an immortalization of everything we've been through), our dungeon master of legend, @killdragons, who puts a TON of effort into the campaign setting as a whole and was the person who offered me a position in the campaign to begin with, @brewswain who has accompanied us on tons of different arcs with his absolutely incredible array of characters AND @sangre who has guest starred with his lovely miré (AND WHO HAS SUPPORTED THE CAMPAIGN SOOO MUCH IN GENERAL i love talking abt alethustria with you bree)!!! nathan (who plays jorah) and cj (who plays ashara and played slumberjack during the first season of the campaign) aren't on tumblr dot com so i can't give their urls a little shout-out in this post, but i'm still going to restate that being able to share in this adventure with them - both in-character and out-of-character - has been fucking incredible. the adventurers formerly known as the pog champions are eternal. viva la champions valoris. etc etc etc.

i also want to thank everyone who's supported reides / the campaign as a whole on the sidelines, bc you guys are absolutely amazing. and i can't possibly post this without showing off our lovely campaign wiki. bc it's iconic.

thanks everyone :') so excited for future adventures!!!

[thebestoftragedy]

what are some books you liked and disliked so far this year?

So I read a lot (so far this year: 123 books finished, mostly novels), so I have a lot of books I liked and disliked. Let's call this my almost-mid-year year-in-books review. it's long. sorry (?)

5/5 star type books:

2666 by Roberto Bolaño - technically a reread (I read this for undergrad 10+ years ago). Really really good expansive weird dark book. A 'reading experience'. It's about knowledge and power and misogyny and history and academia and murder and death and what it means to have a legacy, and it's also pretty funny.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë - It's Jane Eyre! Not a reread but I was basically familiar with the plot due to basic cultural osmosis (I haven't seen any adaptations of it unless you count gifs on tumblr dot com). Good and fun. Romantic. All the haters are wrong.

4/5 stars, really good but maybe I had some reservations or it just didn't 'hit' the way I wanted:

Big Swiss by Jen Beagin - funny, weird, blah ending

The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith - good but tbh I like the movie better

Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather - good!

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick - weird! fun.

Nightmare Alley by William Lindsay Gresham - fast fun gloomy

White Tears by Hari Kunzru - some awkward setup and bad pacing but a killer ending. stealth horror novel

The White Album/Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion - it's joan didion

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers - quiet people leading lives of quiet desperation, etc.

Dungeon Meshi by Ryoko Kui - I read the whole manga series, I loved the first few volumes, hated most of the rest of the series, and then felt neutrally towards the last one or two volumes.

Looking Glass War, A Small Town in Germany, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John le Carré - slowly working through all of his books, so far they're all worth reading but I'm not sure I'd be able to 'rank' any particularly far or below the others

The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett - some cringey stuff but a good fun weird sci fi/fantasy murder mystery. it's gonna be a series (maybe just a trilogy?) so I'll read the rest also.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon - killer killer first 60% and then the last 40% was like whatever.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace - so it took me until page, like, 250 to really get into this, which I can't really forgive. overall I think this is a very good book that mostly justifies its weird formatting/premises/characters, but I would say it does not change my vague impression of the author as someone who fundamentally lacks empathy with women. there are a few chapters of this book (where a 'chapter' can easily be novella-length) that I think are pretty unconscionable. but it's still well done, totally unique, and effective at what it sets out to do. oh also the author gets the DEFCON system wrong and that's a pet peeve of mine. so.

A lot of the Bad books I read were just mediocre romance type novels and not super worth breaking down.

Notably Disappointing/Bad Books, 2/5 stars (where I pretty much hate them or think there's almost nothing worth reading there, but I at least got Something positive out of the experience):

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - this is a terrible bad stupid book I would have been embarrassed to have written as a 15 year old. but it had a few individual funny scenes/lines so it wasn't totally miserable to read.

The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson - almost incomprehensible sequel to The Traitor Baru Cormorant, which I liked ok/thought was interesting but underbaked. I'll try the third book, but I'm bailing if it's not immediately interesting to me because this was a total slog.

In Memoriam by Alice Winn - I think this got that second star on the merits of basically one good blowjob joke. going in I thought this was going to be more of a serious literary novel and not what it is, which is basically yaoi for twentysomething women who are really into song of achilles or whatever.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata - I got absolutely nothing out of this. Sorry Women

Murder Road by Simone St. James - wouldn't have been notable except that I used to enjoy this author a lot (when she wrote historical mysteries) and haven't liked her contemporary/more modern stuff as much, and then this was a new low. dull clumsy boring novel.

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley - this got a huuuuuuuge insane marketing push this year and I think has already been optioned for TV (this will be a recurring theme in this list). utter mess of a novel, combines secxually explicit self-insert RPF, wallowing about Being The Child Of An Immigrant, wallowing about Accidentally Doing Microaggressions Against A Coworker, wallowing in general, bad sci-fi, actually pretty good fish-out-of-water time travel comedy, and just general misery for me, personally, the reader. massive massive disappointment, actively makes me angry it was published. did I mention there's a scene of the narrator, who is very clearly the author, getting eaten out by this guy:

anyway. that happens.

A Short Stay in Hell by Steven L. Peck - a few tumblr mutuals loved this, I found the writing style distracting and inapt. it's supposed to be a cerebral type horror, but I couldn't get into it because the aw-shucks narrative voice keeps anything horrifying at a pretty far remove. also you could tell the author Really wanted to show off the Research he did, or like prove to you the reader how smart he is, and I dislike that sort of thing intensely when it's not pulled off well.

The 1 star zone, or: the abyss gazes also:

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas - this is a super-well-known, super-well-loved, often listed as one of the best-of-all-time romance novels, and I just fucking hated every second of it. awful characters, awful plot, I wanted everyone to explode in an iron foundry accident (this happened in a different novel by the author, which also sucked).

Penance by Eliza Clarke - it's a fake true crime novel, very heavily based on a real crime, and it just did not justify its existence in any way. I got Nothing out of it and enjoyed none of it and it had no redeeming qualities for me. moderately offensive for it to exist at all, which I could more or less forgive if it were very good, but it's not.

Disfigured: On Fairytales, Disability, and Making Space by Amanda Leduc - bad tumblr posts pretending to be an academic type exploration of disability in fairytales, except you can tell the author has only read like 2 essays on the subject (because she only every references 2 other writers) and then watched some disney movies (but not even all of them). really lazy, bad-faith, deeply anti-intellectual. I spent my entire time reading this sending angry messages to @ilovemymutedcalico8487 about how wrong it is and how much it sucks.

My Darling Dreadful Thing by Johanna van Veen - I broke my rule and read a book with the word 'sapphic' in the goodreads description. really inept gothic, really clumsy 2014 tumblr SJW stuff wedged into a story that takes place in midcentury the netherlands, just bad.

Margo's Got Money Trouble by Rufi Thorpe whose name I will NOT mistype as Rupi Kaur even though she might as fucking well be - absolute garbage shit idiot trash for garbage shit idiots. actively loathsome and evil book. soon to be adapted as a tv series starring (and I'm refusing to google to double check this, so I could be completely misremembering, but this this does not deserve care or accuracy) elle fanning and nicole kidman. just don't.

congrats on reading. as a reward, you should go read a book that's good.

[staceymcgillicuddy]

I realize I have been w-i-l-d-l-y extra on Tumblr dot com today. Probably the depression mingling with anxiety mingling with, "oh, fuck, I'm annoying everyone and they all hate me, better post again!"

So, you know. Normal thoughts! Anyway, here's a snippet of Kinkmeme 2 (technically seven sentences but whatever, it still alliterates), untouched and uncut since I wrote it. In other words, here be unedited dragons:

It's not the trailer's fault he doesn't want her there. Shit, he wouldn’t even be dating her if not for the trailer—a drug deal sparking a friendship sparking the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him—but it’s one thing to bring a girl over to sell her some K and quite another to bring her over for sexual connnn-gress.  But, like, Chrissy asks. Calls him Sunday afternoon and says she's bored and can he give her an excuse to miss family dinner? Eddie practically has the gas pedal floored by the time she finishes asking the question. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters upon seeing her standing on their usual corner, a few blocks from her house, in a blue dress with flowers all over it and lace on the cuffs and collar. It's a fucking church dress, and she knows what she’s doing to him, because she gets in all demure and smooths down her skirt and says, “hi, Eddie,” like it’s nothing.

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

A spectre is haunting Tumblr—the spectre of femdommunism

Stop posting about "fandom" and start posting about FEMDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lunastarhawk]

Behold my stuff and things

Rhaella made me do it.

Updated 20/12/24

I write and I fixate on things. That's it that's the blog.

Currently bouncing wildly like a pinball back and forth between The Arcana and Dragon Age.

This started off as an Arcana blog, to share my fanfiction and scroll through fanart of my favourite fictional people, but has since grown into a place for me to collect stuff I like. An interweb scrapbook, if you will. A little castle in a sandbox where I vibe with my favourite things. I'm old, tired and socially inept, but you can sit with me if you like :) She/her, if it matters.

Inbox is open for anything you may want to ask about my writing, my OCs, me, or just to say hi, but anons are off.

I ask minors to please be cautious, this is not a SFW blog. Like, at all. If in doubt please don't follow me. Stay safe out there.

I exist on AO3 as LunaStarhawk and on reddit as u/lunastarhawk.

Tags, links and whatnot...

Writings:

(please assume all my writing is Explicitly NSFW unless stated otherwise)

The Arcana Fanfic - is what it says on the tin. Encompasses all my works, including reader insert and Julian x MC.

Tides of Memories - specific to my ongoing longlonglongfic.

Tides Moodboard - references, inspo and general vibes relating to ToM.

Julian x Altheia - all things specific to Julian and my oc.

I'm screaming but I'm having fun <- that's a writing tag. It do be like that sometimes.

OC Tags

The Arcana - Altheia Featherstone

I have a separate blog for my Julian-romancing Arcana OC, Altheia, which is a themed blog based on stuff she likes, outside of the Arcana. She, er. She likes boats. And the sea. But I post Arcana-related bits here under her tags Altheia Featherstone, Altheia aesthetic and Altheia moodboard.

Her own blog in her own right is at @altheia-featherstone (Rhaella made me do it)

Dragon Age: Inquisition - Favian Trevelyan

I don't write DA fics (yet?) but I am obsessed with do have a handsome Dorian-romancing Inquisitor, Favian. I do nothing but stick screenshots of him and my Inquisition playthrough to my scrapbook here on tumblr dot com. Peak self-indulgence. His tags are Inquisitor Favian, and Dragon Age Shenanigans.

A separate blog exists for him but I haven't decided yet how I'll use it @inquisitor-favian (Rhaella made me do it)

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Flint de Riva - My most beloved and canon Rook. Elf, warrior, Crow, eternally cheerful sarcastic little shit. He's the golden retriever to Lucanis' black cat.

Kal Mercar - Shadow Dragon, rogue, Neve's bit of rough.

Rhaella - belongs to @rhaella-rhavelli but I love her and will squirrel her away into my pocket any chance I get.

Fixations

Other fandom things I reblog a lot for my scrapbook, putting this here mainly as an index for myself:

FF7 - Sephiroth and Vincent Valentine mostly.

Loki - series, MCU, comic and Lady Loki. I ship Lokius.

The Arcana - Julian Devorak, Julian x Altheia. I avoid anything Asrian like the Red Plague.

Dragon Age - Dorian Pavus, Emmrich Volkarin, Lucanis Dellamorte, Alistair, da:o, da:i, da:v

Music - Julian and Altheia's greatest hits, music for my blorbos is soothing my soul, Friday night jams, tune Tuesday.

#beloved :)

AO3 Links (LunaStarhawk)

The Arcana

Julian x Altheia (Female OC)

Tides of Memories - current WiP. A continuation of Julian's route's upright ending and my prologue story, with my OC, Altheia.

Between the Deep Blue Sea and the Devil - Self-indulgent rewrites of a selection of scenes from Julian's route, specific to him and Altheia, as referenced in ToM. Ongoing as and when the mood takes me.

Past the Midnight Sun - Self-indulgent smut and fluff between Julian and Altheia. I love them, you see. Ongoing as and when the mood takes me.

Gender Neutral Reader Insert

The Memories We Lost - A sort of prologue to the Arcana, this is my take on Julian and MC's time during the Red Plague. Complete.

'He Was Mine' - Reimagined Reminiscences - My first fic series, a collection of mostly smutty rewrites of some of Julian's route scenes. Complete.

Domestic Daydreams - Julian and spouse do Mundane Things. Very unlikely I will add to this.

Female Reader Insert

Post-Route Shenanigans - smut with Julian and his girlfriend.

Violet - that one time I wrote Asra smut.

Male Reader Insert

Post-Route Henanigans - like shenanigans but with a He. I think I'm funny. Smut with Julian and his boyfriend.

Dragon Age: Veilguard

Dorian x Favian (Inquisitor)

Promise - Dorian and Favian have a heart to heart before the final battle.

I think that's everything, enjoy your stay :)

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as things that happened at band camp part 7

Jojo: Why do you have a tub of Vaseline?

Elmer: It's Buttons's I'm babysitting during the parade block

Jojo: ...what-

Elmer: Its name is Velociraptor

Crutchie: So remember that girl who told Jack he's her second choice?

Davey: Yeah?

Crutchie: Yeah he went after toxic girl and now he's sad

Davey: Damn it

Romeo: I was famous on wattpad for like 2 years and then they took all them down and I sent email after email to get them to put it back up to no avail! My books had like 100k reads!

Davey: *silently has 500k reads on his wattpad books and people are still reading them despite not updating anything in over a year because he transferred to ao3 and completely abandoned all of his wattpad book ideas*

Jack: *sticks his hand in Davey's drum while hes wearing it*

Davey: ...Thats violating-

Davey: *going through the band room like a tornado knocking shit down with his drums* First lesson of quadding, if you knock it down that's their problem

Albert: In sixth grade I wrote my narrative writing to be like a whole notebook thick and it was actually just a FNAF novel that turned out to be canonically accurate, for some fucking reason

Albert: *asks Spot to play something on his snare*

Spot: *plays it*

Albert: Okay that's like I thought

Spot: *keeps playing*

Albert: Okay you can stop

Spot: *keeps playing*

Albert: Please it's 8:30 am

Jojo: How is summer almost over

Specs: Shhh

Jojo: We don't even get 104 days of it. Where the fuck do Phineas and Ferb go?

Race: There's nothing fresh about those air fresheners on your drum they've been there since before freshman year

Spot: leave them alone! They're vintage!

Jack: Those saw the declaration of independence get signed

Race: He got them way over four score and seven years ago

Davey: That class roster is the nightmare blunt rotation if I've ever seen it

Jack: I'd smoke a joint with them. Would I be happy? Probably not. But I'd still do it

Race: This might be the ADHD or the potential autism but have you ever thought about how colors aren't real?

Albert: Please stop it is 8:45 am

Denton: If we had to do push ups every time we made a mistake we'd have a BUFF band... Love you guys

Sarah: At least you have a chair

Davey: I do not??

Sarah: You have a drum

Davey: Thats not a chair!

Sarah: Don't you sit on it?

Davey: ...Occasionally

Spot: We should just sit on our drums in protest

Davey: Yeah! Just like those... Um... The things...

Spot: ...Sit ins?

Davey: Yes! Those!! I'm on new medication I can't-

Jack: Got a secret

Jack: Can ya keep it

Jack: Takin this one to the grave

Jack: Better lock it

Jack: In your pocket

Crutchie: It's not even 9:45 in the goddamn morning shut the fuck up

Race and Elmer: *saying the lyrics of Posituvity from the Little Mermaid Broadway show like it's slam poetry*

Race: *at the football team* look they all got fat booties

Romeo: Girls if you don't have a date to homecoming, hit me up. Cuz I'm the bomb dot com

Buttons: *about a peanut m&m on the stairs* thats a hazard

Spot: I am going to stick my foot so far up all 3 of your asses-

Race: Ew you got the root beer popsicle?

Albert: What's wrong with root beer?

Buttons: It's root beer!

Race: It's inferior to frooty flavors!

Albert: Oh of course YOU would think that

Race: call me a fag why don't ya

Elmer: *licks popsicle* Ewww...

Buttons: Why'd you get root beer??

Elmer: *crying* I thought it was chocolate!

Jack: Oh so i was looking at pictures of my family and apparently my great grandfather, my dads grandfather on his dad's side, we WHITE. Like WHITE white. Like, blonde hair blue eyes, Hitler's wet dream-

Race: so what happened to you?

Jack: I'm thinkin he had an affair with your great grandma or somethin cuz he sure as hell ain't related to me

Albert: all the Reddit people went to tumblr

Jack: Whats tumblr?

Race: That one cite that banned porn and then everyone got mad and moved to twitter

Davey: And then everyone got mad at Twitter and moved back to tumblr

Spot: *angrily* I just got called a freshman

Race: Ha loser-

Spot: *punches him*

Albert, Race, Elmer, Spot, Sarah, Katherine, Jack, Davey, and Crutchie: *sitting in a circle around the stairs*

Buttons, trying to get up the stairs: what are you-

Albert and Race: *locking freshman in the practice rooms*

Elmer: *the freshman locked in the practice room*

Finch: *looks at Elmer through the window and just shakes his head and keeps walking*

Elmer: *presses his hand against the glass sadly*

Sarah: In the best possible way, your shirt is giving Monster High

Race: Coming from a queer woman, thats the best thing I could have heard, thank you

Denton: You're starting to sound like sick cats at measure 27 *Sick cat imitation*

Denton: Okay flutes and clarinets measure 34

Elmer and Specs: *whines of absolute suffering*

Denton: *clap clap clap clap* *pause* horns up! Sorry I was late, thats on me

Albert: He's finishing his donuts!

Denton: Hey! That is an orange peanut butter cracker!

Albert: Oh my b my b

Race: Do you have tape

Denton: ...Why?

Race: My trombone broke

Denton: how did your- *sighs* yeah. I have tape.

Finch: they're performing open valve surgery

Buttons: Oh my God is everything okay??

Finch: Trumpet valve, not heart valve.

Davey: *drops drumstick and stares at it defeatedly for 15 seconds before picking it up*

Katherine: That thing ran on miracles and duct tape

Jack: *starts playing Mary Had a Little Lamb on the quads (the beginning to a certain drum cadence)*

Spot: NO!

Davey: SHUT UP

Davey: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Albert: STOP

Race: The gray hairs come in and it's just game over

Spot: No random tapping, drums. NO RANDOM TAPPING, DRUMS!

Denton: ...do you want to play Jig II? It's your call, youre the one who has to play the solo in it

Davey: I don't really care

Denton: Alright let's play it then

Davey: UGHHHHH *sobbing*

Race: Popsicles are probably the #1 food to eat seductively

Romeo: Thats funny because I was reading a fic one time and the one guy was about to suck the other guys dick but he had never sucked dick before so he just looked at it and went "... Like a popsicle?"

Race: Why the fuck are you reading that kind of- aren't you asexual??

[who-canceled-roger-rabbit]

Holy shit how does this post have over 160 thousand notes in just a month

the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys