#tulipani movie review

[adamwatchesmovies]

Tulipani, Love, Honour and a Bicycle (2017)

It must be a European thing because I had difficulty figuring out exactly what Tulipani, Love, Honour and a Bicycle was supposed to be. The individual pieces are easy to recognize. It’s a fable, as well as the story of a woman going back to her roots. How the wildly varying tones and what the disparate elements are supposed to add up to, however, is unclear.

While Anna (Ksenia Solo) fulfills her mother’s final wishes by bringing her ashes back home, to Italy, she is recognized by Vito (Michele Venitucci) and his mother, Immacolata (Lidia Vitale). They insist that in reality, Anna’s mother is not who she believed. They claim her parents were two Dutch tulip farmers, Gauke (Gijs Naber) and Ria (Anneke Sluiters), who changed their community before tragedy struck.

Told in a flashback inside a flashback, many of the story's aspects feel weird just for weirdness’ sake. For example, Anna is conceived spontaneously one night before Gauke even knew Ria’s name. Before she could tell him, he left on his bicycle and began pedaling non-stop through Europe until he landed in Italy. Adding to the weirdness is the revelation that Ria is deaf and must stifle her screams during sex by biting down on something - otherwise, her screams of pleasure will wake up everyone nearby. Some of the bizarre quirks fit the folktale motif (Gauke’s Kung fu-like fighting skills, for example) others make you wonder "why?". It makes the film simultaneously predictable and bizarre to the point where you have no idea what’s next. As soon as Gauke runs afoul of Italian mobsters, you know exactly what will happen. The mysterious fate of the mobster himself, however? Maybe he’ll be killed, maybe he’ll have a change of heart. Who knows?

Overall, Tulipani is alright. There are some sweet moments and laughs found here and there. You’re not truly engaged to the point where you’re dying to see what comes next, but you’ve put enough effort keeping track of every piece that you’ll commit to seeing it through. I'll warn you that the ending is truly lame. It’s got a comedic tone that, when placed next to the tragedy that just preceded it, would give you whiplash, if you hadn’t somewhat, by this time, adapted to the picture’s insane logic. The special effects in that sequence, though, they’re awful.

  Tulipani, Love, Honour and a Bicycle has elements that probably would've been better left on the cutting room floor, such as the initial hook of Anna entering a hospital with a scorched bottom while a police officer (Giancarlo Giannini) suspects her of having committed murder; it makes the whole narrative unnecessarily complicated. Most of the time, it's pleasant to watch. If you're curious, it may be your cup of tea. (Theatrical version on the big screen, September 9, 2018)