#tudor barber bob the barber

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Bracket 2 / Round 3 / Match 45

[boleynsrex]

The warm strength of her fingertips bleeds into the thick, brocaded fabric of his sleeves. Isobel Percy is, the King muses, a steel magnolia: her lithe frame, impossibly slight, secreting a liquid metal core. Her pretty head nimble with proud thoughts, spooling words only a Percy would dare utter. Her dark, luminous eyes like hooks for the soul, to which men like William Tudor were powerless. His father, God rest his soul, had been bewitched by one such woman of her ilk: a lady who now walked among them a queen, her back unbent by the weight of her station. Casting a sidelong glance at Isobel, glowing like an angel of heaven, one would never know that her own relative’s neck was due to grace the block, to ooze and suffuse it with her noble blood, for she gave no tremor of fear; only placid temerity. William instinctively gives a flex to his arm, a knot of muscles dancing and clenching underneath her grasp, as he relished the sweetly-fragranced solidity of a beautiful woman (of which his court, so the poets rapped, was rather fortunately crowded) floating by his side.

The King arranges his face into a pattern of wry amusement, the mention of their encounter flashing in his eyes, as though he were an eagle soaring and squawking on high, lording over the clandestine meeting like the winged, mythical beasts gliding over the rugged cliffs of Dover – or perhaps Icarus himself, his waxen wings dripping molten gold over England. ‘Aiding, of course,’ He echoes, his mouth pursed. ‘I’d say the debt was yours to repay, but I much prefer the ball square in my court. I might decide to play it at will, Mistress Percy, so you mustn’t underestimate your King.’

Wills' gaiety dissolves into heed, his impassive gaze trained to the empty corridor stretching endlessly before them. The King stiffens, blood drumming to his head, as Isobel speaks: calling down a melodious blessing over that woman, her aunt, who was condemned, by a panel adjured by the King’s own pleasure, to die a traitor’s death. But he is silent, his grave face giving no indication of either clemency or vengeance, growing intent, thinking neither of her delight nor fear. Her words strike a potent chord within him – echoed over and over again like the ominous humming of a Byzantine hymn. To be alone is a cruel fate. How many times had he felt the same, clustered by a myriad of petitioners, foreign dignitaries, splendidly dressed courtiers, appearing to look through him as if he were glass – or at him, as if he were an immovable chunk of marble, no more tangible than a bust of the great Alexander? An Adam’s apple bobs in his freshly shaved throat; a raw, red stitch where his barber’s blade had thoughtlessly scraped.

My King. Dark eyes slide close; prying open at the intonation of his Christian name. William, William, William…

Nearing his private chambers, the King’s footfalls cease until they stand completely still, and he turns to face her, two monoliths joined together. Looming over her like an ancient oak – a shock of copper hair gleaming like a raven snared in the topmost branches – his gaze dark, exigent, pressed into Isobel’s own with a fierceness that belonged to the two dynasties whose blood he proudly bore. ‘Isobel…’ William draws both of her delicate hands into the cusp of his, her fingers warm to the touch. ‘Even if you were Eleanor of Aquitaine herself, the charge… it is indissoluble. An imbecile could see that her actions were traitorous; there is no undoing it.’ He, like his father, bends to no one (not merely because King Henry would have needed to be hauled up by ropes), though his words are swollen with a certain magnanimity that made obsolete any doubt in his strength of character, in the veracity of his piety. This was, after all, the man begotten by the woman every belle in France envied, the King every woman in England revered as the handsomest potentate in Europe, the sovereign every girl dreamed of; a man above mortals, a heavenly body just below angels… and in a confident stretch of silence, Wills’ eyes scan Isobel’s for a mere hint, a sweet whiff, of the trust and admiration he gleaned with ease from lesser subjects.

‘You are unlike any woman I’ve met before,’ the King mouths, suddenly laughing, only promptly aware of the frigid temperatures of his empty, windowless halls, a place where no one dare tread. ‘But you have my word that we will spare your beloved aunt every honour. It will be quick, painless, and private. You have my word.’

Blinking, the King's brow twitches as he unleashes one of his hands from their tangled nest of fingers, using it to brush aside a silken strand of hair tickling the side of her cheek, unbound from the restriction of her headdress. His eyes trace the movement of his thumb, brushing her skin, tucking said ringlet behind the cream shell of her ear; then, gently, assiduously, cradling the side of her face, his palm protecting her jaw as if it were the most delicate pearl in all of England. The nearness of her, the scent of her, the mounting need to slant his mouth over hers pulsed throughout his body; a blinding longing that began to move within him as his tongue outlined the seam of his bottom lip, his intent gaze never budging from hers. His free hand slid toward the small of her back; long, lean fingers furrowing into the fabric of her gown. Yet just as his face was mere inches from hers, their noses nearly touching, his warm breath fanning across the sensuous bow of her lips, a clearing of one's throat broke the spell. William, as though his flesh had been singed by her touch, leapt back and turned his furious gaze to the incomer shadowing the hallway – Julian de Vere.

With a fist clenched by his side, the King dipped his head to Isobel.

'Mistress Percy,' He remarked; a frigid, emotionless parting. 'Send my regards to the family, will you?'

And without another word uttered, the King stalked off in the direction of the council, leaving Isobel in his wake.

perhaps it should've been sibella instead of her on this path for leniency, a venerable littérateur, homer's forgotten daughter, a pious woman that could embellish any fable or narrative; isobel had seen her scribble away in her diaries and voraciously devour exceedingly rare and large books a countless number of times. it's only sensible to assume that she'd be capable of speaking from the heart on behalf of aunt elizabeth. presumably still, the role could've been edmund's too. thirteen years of camaraderie that stems from the early days of boyhood must equate to more and be of greater value in comparison to whatever she may offer.

“thank you, your grace.” she could be the voice of a haloed cherub in his ear, extol and praise him before the world, shower him with platitudes and reverence that he's bound to hear from every noble that doesn't truly mean it, deceive him with well-crafted and elaborate lies, but she opts for the truth.

“my loyalty,” isobel echoes, playing with the words as if they're iridescent freshwater pearls within her mouth whilst walking arm in arm with him, the very amalgamation of purple and blue making it seem as if they're one. “well you cannot ask for something that is already yours. as for friendship, i've always thought that the most cherished ones must be earned and built, but i'd say that night in the rain gave you a head start. for aiding me, of course.”

a skilled orator not by nature, but proclivity and practice, a master of pace, structure, and phrasing, she had acquired such adroitness as a fledgling by anne boleyn's side, going for perspicaciousness over needlework. “a wise king must know his subjects. he, after all, holds their fates in his hands. that's why i must tell you the story of elizabeth talbot, for she's not just a name on a parchment of paper, and though her treacherous choices mustn't be excused, i believe they weren't necessarily done out of malice. see, aunt elizabeth lost her husband years ago and was left childless, without someone to call her own. it's why she loved sibella dearly, the youngest girl, whom she doted upon, while i was away and serving at your lady mother's court.” she couldn't speak of the way they had sojourned in foreign cities, basked under the roman sun or sailed the azure mediterranean sea. no, that wasn't her story to tell. hers are rare memories, of fleeting cheek kisses, lovely letters detailing her voyages, and expensive gifts she had sent almost religiously often, from venetian silk to extravagant jewels.

unable to hold a distinct opinion of her own and yet unwilling to condemn and castigate the woman even before the king, she opens her mouth once more. “we weren't by definition close, but i knew her well enough to see the profound sadness in her eyes. to be alone is a cruel fate. one could easily say that loneliness begets loneliness. i think that's how she ended up trusting the wrong people. she allowed herself to fall for their ruse, all under the guise of finding comfort.” it's daunting, too, to realize how alone she must've been.

“my king,” raptly, she turns to look at him, forsaking the act of weighing every word as the silken veil of pretense and guise drops ceremoniously.

“william,” his name on her tongue like holy prayer, a midnight hymn, immortal echo, like she whispered it a thousand times before, in a dream, another life.

“think of my sister, someone who's too gentle to know of true callousness of the court.”

“think of my brother, the dutiful man you've known for so long, the same man who has once already faced the brutality of loss.”

“and think of me, a woman most devout to your cause.”

[oh2e]

The Historical Fashion Fix presenter’s “personal friend” Tudor barber Bob the Barber may only be in one sketch but he lives in my head at all times, rent free.

[novemberenby]

Lee, the Historical Fashion Fix presenter, and his personal friend Tudor Barber Bob the Barber.

[ID: a photo of Lee and Tudor Barber Bob the Barber kissing each other on the cheek in greeting. Tudor Barber Bob the Barber is facing us but Lee has his back to us. This image has been put onto 5 different pride flags - 1978 rainbow, mlm, gay, bisexual and queer chevron. The left column is normal and the right column has the flags blurred slightly. End ID.]

[spinninghunkofspacerock]

It's Tudor barber bob the barber!

not that I’m complaining but why the sudden HH asks?

is this you coping? /lh

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Bracket 2 / Round 2 / Match 46

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Annnd matchups!

Bracket 1, Round 1 matchups:

Bob Hale (Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob Parr (The Incredibles)

Bobby Flay (Beat Bobby Flay) v.s. Bob (Veggietales)

Bobby (Creamerie) v.s. Bob (Twin Peaks)

Bob (Guardian tales) v.s. Bob the squid (I made it up)

Bob Belcher (Bob's burgers) v.s. Bob Marley (real life)

Bobby Fulbright (Ace Attorney) v.s. Bobby Funk (One piece)

Bob the dinosaur (Dilbert comic strips) v.s. Bobby Singer (Supernatural)

Bobby Proud (The Proud Family) v.s. Bob the builder (Bob the Builder)

Bob (Stranger Things) v.s. Uncle Bob/T-800 (Terminator 2) 

Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew) v.s. Bob Benson (Mad Men)

Bob Kelso (Scrubs) v.s. Bob Steckler (UHF)

Bob Vance (the office) v.s. Bobby Brady (The Brady bunch)

Bob the Drag Queen (Rupaul's Drag Race) v.s. Robert Callaghan (Big hero 6)

Robert E. O. Speedwagon (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure) v.s. Bobby (Paper Mario: The Origami King)

B.o.B the rapper (real life) v.s. Robert Muldoon (Jurassic park)

Bob Hunter (Desperate housewives) v.s. Robert Paulson (Fight club)

Bracket 2, Round 1 matchups:

King Bob (Recess) v.s. Bob Odenkirk (real life) 

Bobby Hill (King of the hill) v.s. Bob Sagget (real life)

Bob Newheart (real life) v.s. Bad Bob Zimmerman (Check please)

Bob Trow (Mister Roger's neighborhood) v.s. Bob hope (real life) 

Bob (Animal Crossing) v.s. Bobby Zimmeruski (A Goofy Movie)

Bob/Lapis lazuli (Steven universe) v.s. Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons)

Bob (Top gun Maverick) v.s. Doodlebob (SpongeBob)

Bobbie (company) v.s. Bob Sheldon (The Outsiders) 

Bob Duncan (Good Luck Charlie) v.s. Roller Bob (Toy Story)

Robert Smith (lead singer of The Cure) v.s. Rob Cantor (Tally hall)

Tudor barber, Bob the Barber(Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob the dictionary definitions (the real life dictionary)

Bob redmil (company logo/real life) v.s. Bobby Baccalieri (The sopranos)

Bob the sentient sourdough starter (A wizards guide to defensive baking) v.s. Bobs (Mirrormask)

Bobby Dagen (Saw 3D) v.s. Tatsurian the Unchained "Bob" (Kaijudo)

Bob (Bob And George) v.s. Hydra Bob (Deadpool/Marvel Comics)

Bobert (The amazing world of gumball) v.s. Bobby Fischer (real life)

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Bracket 2 / Round 1 / Match 27

[oh2e]

May have let my friend making a joke turn into me spending way too long on this edit at 1am

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Winner: Tudor barber, Bob the barber!

Bracket 2 / Round 1 / Match 27

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Winner: Tudor barber, Bob the barber!

Bracket 2 / Round 2 / Match 46

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Bracket 1, Round 2 matchups:

Bob Hale (Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob (Veggietales)

Bob (Twin Peaks) v.s. Bob the squid (I made it up)

Bob Belcher (Bob's burgers) v.s. Bobby Fulbright (Ace Attorney)

Bobby Singer (Supernatural) v.s. Bob the builder (Bob the Builder)

Uncle Bob/T-800 (Terminator 2) v.s. Bob Benson (Mad Men)

Bob Steckler (UHF) v.s. Bobby Brady (The Brady bunch)

Bob the Drag Queen (Rupaul's Drag Race) v.s. Bobby (Paper Mario: The Origami King)

Robert Muldoon (Jurassic park) v.s. Robert Paulson (Fight club)

Bracket 2, Round 2 matchups:

Bob Odenkirk (real life) v.s. Bobby Hill (King of the hill)

Bad Bob Zimmerman (Check please) v.s. Bob Trow (Mister Roger's neighborhood)

Bob (Animal Crossing) v.s. Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons)

Doodlebob (SpongeBob) v.s. Bob Sheldon (The Outsiders) 

Roller Bob (Toy Story) v.s. Rob Cantor (Tally hall)

Tudor barber, Bob the Barber (Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob redmil (company logo/real life)

Bob the sentient sourdough starter (A wizards guide to defensive baking) v.s. Tatsurian the Unchained "Bob" (Kaijudo)

Bob (Bob And George) v.s. Bobert (The amazing world of gumball)

Annnd matchups!

Bracket 1, Round 1 matchups:

Bob Hale (Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob Parr (The Incredibles)

Bobby Flay (Beat Bobby Flay) v.s. Bob (Veggietales)

Bobby (Creamerie) v.s. Bob (Twin Peaks)

Bob (Guardian tales) v.s. Bob the squid (I made it up)

Bob Belcher (Bob's burgers) v.s. Bob Marley (real life)

Bobby Fulbright (Ace Attorney) v.s. Bobby Funk (One piece)

Bob the dinosaur (Dilbert comic strips) v.s. Bobby Singer (Supernatural)

Bobby Proud (The Proud Family) v.s. Bob the builder (Bob the Builder)

Bob (Stranger Things) v.s. Uncle Bob/T-800 (Terminator 2) 

Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew) v.s. Bob Benson (Mad Men)

Bob Kelso (Scrubs) v.s. Bob Steckler (UHF)

Bob Vance (the office) v.s. Bobby Brady (The Brady bunch)

Bob the Drag Queen (Rupaul's Drag Race) v.s. Robert Callaghan (Big hero 6)

Robert E. O. Speedwagon (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure) v.s. Bobby (Paper Mario: The Origami King)

B.o.B the rapper (real life) v.s. Robert Muldoon (Jurassic park)

Bob Hunter (Desperate housewives) v.s. Robert Paulson (Fight club)

Bracket 2, Round 1 matchups:

King Bob (Recess) v.s. Bob Odenkirk (real life) 

Bobby Hill (King of the hill) v.s. Bob Sagget (real life)

Bob Newheart (real life) v.s. Bad Bob Zimmerman (Check please)

Bob Trow (Mister Roger's neighborhood) v.s. Bob hope (real life) 

Bob (Animal Crossing) v.s. Bobby Zimmeruski (A Goofy Movie)

Bob/Lapis lazuli (Steven universe) v.s. Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons)

Bob (Top gun Maverick) v.s. Doodlebob (SpongeBob)

Bobbie (company) v.s. Bob Sheldon (The Outsiders) 

Bob Duncan (Good Luck Charlie) v.s. Roller Bob (Toy Story)

Robert Smith (lead singer of The Cure) v.s. Rob Cantor (Tally hall)

Tudor barber, Bob the Barber(Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob the dictionary definitions (the real life dictionary)

Bob redmil (company logo/real life) v.s. Bobby Baccalieri (The sopranos)

Bob the sentient sourdough starter (A wizards guide to defensive baking) v.s. Bobs (Mirrormask)

Bobby Dagen (Saw 3D) v.s. Tatsurian the Unchained "Bob" (Kaijudo)

Bob (Bob And George) v.s. Hydra Bob (Deadpool/Marvel Comics)

Bobert (The amazing world of gumball) v.s. Bobby Fischer (real life)

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Bracket 1, Round 3 matchups:

Bob Hale (Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob the squid (I made it up)

Bob Belcher (Bob's burgers) v.s. Bob the builder (Bob the Builder)

Uncle Bob/T-800 (Terminator 2) v.s. Bob Steckler (UHF)

Bob the Drag Queen (Rupaul's Drag Race) v.s. Robert Muldoon (Jurassic park)

Bracket 2, Round 3 matchups:

Bobby Hill (King of the hill) v.s. Bob Trow (Mister Roger's neighborhood)

Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons) v.s. Doodlebob (SpongeBob)

Rob Cantor (Tally hall) v.s. Tudor barber, Bob the Barber (Horrible Histories)

Bob the sentient sourdough starter (A wizards guide to defensive baking) v.s. Bobert (The amazing world of gumball)

Annnd matchups!

Bracket 1, Round 1 matchups:

Bob Hale (Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob Parr (The Incredibles)

Bobby Flay (Beat Bobby Flay) v.s. Bob (Veggietales)

Bobby (Creamerie) v.s. Bob (Twin Peaks)

Bob (Guardian tales) v.s. Bob the squid (I made it up)

Bob Belcher (Bob's burgers) v.s. Bob Marley (real life)

Bobby Fulbright (Ace Attorney) v.s. Bobby Funk (One piece)

Bob the dinosaur (Dilbert comic strips) v.s. Bobby Singer (Supernatural)

Bobby Proud (The Proud Family) v.s. Bob the builder (Bob the Builder)

Bob (Stranger Things) v.s. Uncle Bob/T-800 (Terminator 2) 

Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew) v.s. Bob Benson (Mad Men)

Bob Kelso (Scrubs) v.s. Bob Steckler (UHF)

Bob Vance (the office) v.s. Bobby Brady (The Brady bunch)

Bob the Drag Queen (Rupaul's Drag Race) v.s. Robert Callaghan (Big hero 6)

Robert E. O. Speedwagon (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure) v.s. Bobby (Paper Mario: The Origami King)

B.o.B the rapper (real life) v.s. Robert Muldoon (Jurassic park)

Bob Hunter (Desperate housewives) v.s. Robert Paulson (Fight club)

Bracket 2, Round 1 matchups:

King Bob (Recess) v.s. Bob Odenkirk (real life) 

Bobby Hill (King of the hill) v.s. Bob Sagget (real life)

Bob Newheart (real life) v.s. Bad Bob Zimmerman (Check please)

Bob Trow (Mister Roger's neighborhood) v.s. Bob hope (real life) 

Bob (Animal Crossing) v.s. Bobby Zimmeruski (A Goofy Movie)

Bob/Lapis lazuli (Steven universe) v.s. Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons)

Bob (Top gun Maverick) v.s. Doodlebob (SpongeBob)

Bobbie (company) v.s. Bob Sheldon (The Outsiders) 

Bob Duncan (Good Luck Charlie) v.s. Roller Bob (Toy Story)

Robert Smith (lead singer of The Cure) v.s. Rob Cantor (Tally hall)

Tudor barber, Bob the Barber(Horrible Histories) v.s. Bob the dictionary definitions (the real life dictionary)

Bob redmil (company logo/real life) v.s. Bobby Baccalieri (The sopranos)

Bob the sentient sourdough starter (A wizards guide to defensive baking) v.s. Bobs (Mirrormask)

Bobby Dagen (Saw 3D) v.s. Tatsurian the Unchained "Bob" (Kaijudo)

Bob (Bob And George) v.s. Hydra Bob (Deadpool/Marvel Comics)

Bobert (The amazing world of gumball) v.s. Bobby Fischer (real life)