#tubbo characters always get the first analysis post after lore ok it has been this way since 2021

[rainecreatesstuff]

I’m just thinking so much abt. qTubbo crouched outside the movie theatre, listening to his best friends on a date together. And they’re laughing, and chatting, and enjoying themselves. And they’re his best friends. His family, even if he won’t call them that. He loves them so fucking much. And he doesn’t want to hurt them.

But at the same time it hurts him so bad. It’s just more proof, to him. They don’t need him there. Things are just as good for them, better even, when he’s not there.

And the only way Tubbo knows how to be loved is to be needed.

Tubbo was on the fence about the photoshopped pics right up until the moment Fit and Pac left the theatre. And even then he felt horrible. He got absolutely no joy from any of it. Adrenaline, maybe. It’s easy to mistake one for the other. But not joy. It hurt him to try to ruin his friends’ happiness. But to him, if he didn’t try, he was just… letting his friends stop needing him. Waiting like lame prey to be left behind by his herd and eaten by the pack of predators that host hurt and loneliness.

He sat and stared at Pac’s enderpearl for like five minutes. Genuinely I thought my stream froze but no. He just sat on top of the stasis chamber and deliberated for five minutes straight. He says it so often throughout the stream you’d think it became his catchphrase, he feels so guilty about everything. And in the end, he has to leave it up to chance. Can’t even drop the trapdoor himself, tricks Bagi into doing it instead.

And then after the chaos, after the screaming and yelling, after his friends notice his eyes looking dull and the stress on his face, he just… gives up. Says yeah. You guys should finish your date. Makes a joke. People like jokes. People get distracted by jokes. Bagi should go figure out how many more people she’s related to.

and he leaves.

And. It’s. That hurts too. And he knows what this looks like, knows that the brush they paint his story with will be one that leaves strokes of jealousy on the canvas. Knows Fit thinks he’s acting out of petulance. Knows they both are upset that he’s tried to ruin a good thing for them. Knows that this is just another addition on the long list of reasons why he’s not to be trusted, not to be listened to, not to be loved. But he loves his friends.

And the only way Tubbo knows how to be loved is to be needed.

And if they didn’t need him before they definitely don’t now.

Easier to jump off the bridge than be pushed.

Right?