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ashdoesfandomarchieved · 3 years ago
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of all i am made of (perhaps you are too)
ao3
Hugo does not believe in soulmates.
To be fair, he doesn’t much believe in anything but the feeling of coin in his pocket and the clever bite of his dagger. What use has he for god and destiny when he carves his own path of lies through time, with a sharp tongue and a cocky smile.
Why should Hugo believe the universe would gift him a soulmate when it already has made it perfectly clear that nothing is free?
Besides soulmates are rarities of the past--legends and folktales on the lips of elders and religious fanatics; the former clinging to superstition from the od era, the latter feeding false promises and hope to the instupid masses.
Soulmates are for hopeless romantics and tiny children. Not for Hugo.
“That does not surprise me,” Nuru says, the beginnings of a smile forming on her face.
She’s lying down in the golden field where they’ve set camp for the night. The contrast of the bright yellow against her dark skin is stunning-particularly in the moonlight, with her dark hair fanning out about her head.
Hugo, who is sitting upright a few paces away and playing with his daggers, frowns.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, unsure if he should be feeling defensive or not.
Nuru folds her arms beneath her head, propping herself up enough to make eye contact with him. “Even if you had a soulmate, you wouldn’t know what to do with them,” she scoffs.
He snorts. “ You believe in soulmates?”
“Is that so surprising?”
“Yes, actually. I thought you were the rational one in this party.”
Nuru gives him an expression that indicates how stupid she thinks he is. “I might be the only person who can keep their head in a crisis, but that doesn’t mean I can’t believe in a higher power, Hugo.”
She rolls over, so that she’s laying on her stomach, facing him. “Burning stars fall in my homeland every year. There are stories of a sun princess who’s tears heal the dead. Varian somehow hasn’t strangled you yet. I think you’d better start believing in a god.”
“Or soulmates apparently,” Hugo mutters.
“Or soulmates,” Nuru says. “Would it really be that far-fetched?”
“Do I believe there’s someone out there who shares my dreams? Or has my name written above their heart? Hard pass, Princess.”
“Alright then, how about sharing the same soul?” Nuru asks, folding her hands together and resting her chin on them. “You’re telling me that doesn’t sound at least a little romantic?”
“I don’t have a soul.”
“Now that,” she says, a grin stretching across her face, “that I can believe.”
___
“I think Anya’s my soulmate,” Yong says dreamily, staring at Varian’s redheaded cousin like she hung the fucking moon.
Hugo, despite secretly adoring the round child, rolls his eyes. Hard. “Do you even know what that means?”
“It means we share the same time threads,” Yong replies distractedly.
Varian and Anya are nerding out over something-something Hugo would find interesting or fun to mock them over, but right now, for some reason, he’s more interested in Yong’s adorable-if not misguided-crush on Varian’s little cousin.
“Time threads,” Hugo laughs, cracking his knuckles. Yong winces at the noise, momentarily taking his eyes off the two babbling alchemists. “Alright, color me curious. What are time threads?”
Yong frowns. “You’ve never heard of time threads? Every child in Koto learns about them.”
Ah, must be some religious poppycock only spread in the fire kingdom.
“Well, I’m not a child living in Koto, am I?” Hugo replies lightly. “Spill, little pyro.” He pokes the kid in the shoulder repeatedly until he gets swatted.
“Her lady, Odiyesi, spins a thread for each person,” Yong recites in a sing-song voice. “This thread contains the beginning, the middle, and the end of our lives. If she so chooses, two threads will be intertwined-maybe even beyond the Snip, if she wills it.”
“The Snip?”
“Oh yeah, that’s when you die,” Yong says, side eyeing Hugo.
Hugo ruffles Yong’s hair. “And you think Anya is your thread partner. That’s so cute .”
Yong ducks out from under his hand, scowling. “Why did you ask if you don’t even believe it?” he mumbles, face pink.
“You know what I think?” Hugo asks, pretending like he doesn’t hear Yong. “I think you should go right up to here and tell her all that. Give her a heads up about your eternally bound souls.”
“Your soul is eternally bound to the underworld,” Yong shoots back, with a surprising amount of fire.
Hugo bursts into laughter. “That,” he says, “is the first thing you’ve said all day that makes sense.”
___
“What do you think about soulmates?” Hugo asks mildly. He has a glass of wine in one hand, but he’s barely tasted it. Instead, he stands, staring out the stained glass window and into the courtyard.
Donella, sitting behind her desk, looks up from Varian’s Ulla’s journal-recently procured by Hugo.
The amount of deception and sneaking around he’d gone through to actually get it out of Varian’s line of sight had been painstakingly difficult. And it had been even harder coming up with an excuse to Nuru why he needed to spend the night somewhere other than their current lodgings.
He doesn’t really remember the lie. Just the trust in the Princess’s face when she’d briefly patted him on the shoulder, telling him to be back by sunrise.
Donella closes the journal with a snap, leaning back in her chair. “What a curious question. And from you, no less.”
When Hugo turns around, she’s smiling that sharp smile-the one that makes his stomach plummet with discomfort. Something in him churns at that dangerous expression now, unsure of what he’s suddenly gotten himself into.
He gives a casual shrug, raising his glass to his lips. “Just making idle conversation, I suppose.” The wine tastes terrible. Still, he takes another sip before setting it down on an end table.
“Hmm.” His mentor eyes him skeptically. “What do I think about soulmates?” she muses, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “I suppose the proper answer would be that I hate them.”
He frowns. “So you don’t believe in them?”
“You can’t hate something you don’t believe in, Hugo. Of course I believe in soulmates.” Donella must see the surprise in his expression because she laughs after a brief pause. “I would be hard pressed not to believe in them after seeing it with my own two eyes.”
Hugo blinks, startled. “You met someone with a soulmate?” he asks, disbelieving.
“You could say that.”
“How do-how did you know they were-”
She opens the stolen journal again, long scared fingers deftly flipping back to her reading place. “Because I could feel when she was in pain. Now shut up, Waif, I still have three quarters of this tedious reading to get through and only five more hours to do it.”
___
Even though Eugene has decided to make the conscious effort not to kill Hugo, the guy still shows mild animosity. And by mild, Hugo-of course-means that he drags him around, making him do tedious tasks and scowls whenever he gets close to Varian.
Whatever. It’s not as if Hugo’s going to complain, considering that it’s mostly his fault there was a demon monster briefly unleashed onto Corona that destroyed most of her capital city. As long as Varian isn’t blaming himself, Hugo calls it a win.
So he lets the Prince Consort drag him around the city and put his alchemy to work.
“You don’t have to stay,” Hugo says, at one point, when it becomes apparent that even though Eugene has no idea how alchemy works , he was still going to hover. “I’m not going to cut and run.”
The man had snorted. “Yeah, I already figured that one out for myself,” he’d muttered and then proceeded to not explain what that meant.
So here Hugo is, with an ever present shadow, hovering like he’s a fucking five year old. Hugo honestly doesn’t see what Varian sees in the guy-or Queen Rapunzel for that matter. She looks at the ex-thief like he hung the moon and all the damn stars in the sky.
“It’s because they’re soulmates,” Eugene’s buddy-Lance, Hugo thinks-had said when he caught him staring.
Hugo had scoffed.
Now, bored and overheated after a long day’s work, Hugo watches Eugene frown over some blueprints in the Queen’s study. Hugo’s not exactly sure why he has to be present for this particular part of the renovation project, but he’s too tired to protest.
“Are you and the queen soulmates?” he hears himself asking.
Eugene lifts his head, eyes alight with surprise. He glances back down at the blueprints once, before leaving the table to join Hugo by the open doors leading to the balcony.
“Weird question, coming from you,” he snorts, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. “But yes. We are.”
Hugo doesn’t know what to make of that. “How do you know?”
The older man hesitates, something like understanding dawning on the man’s face. A small smile crosses lips. “Have you ever met someone that no matter how many times you tried to walk away, you couldn’t?”
Hugo swallows.
“That’s how I know. Now,” he claps Hugo on the shoulder. “If you’ll stop messing around, I need your opinion on whether Yong’s demolition idea or Varian’s solvent solution is going to work best for the lower district’s avalanche problem.”
___
At the end of all things-or perhaps the beginning-Hugo finds Varian on a rooftop.
It’s not hard to find him, as when Varian is brooding, he likes to perch. It’s a habit that the alchemist has either picked up from spending most of his time in a castle with high roofs or perhaps it’s born of chasing his dumb racoon into precarious positions.
Either way, Hugo learns early into his friendship with the darkhaired boy, that when he’s being introspective, he likes to pick a high roof and perch like a fucking woodland creature.
So when Varian goes missing in the middle of Corona’s lantern festival, it takes precious few minutes to find him.
“You are so predictable,” Hugo says, dropping down next to him. Heights don’t usually bother him, but the castle is impressively tall.
The other alchemist doesn’t really seem to mind, however. He lets his legs dangle over the edge, occasionally swinging in the air.
“Or maybe I wanted you to find me,” Varian replies easily. His head--tilted up, toward the stars that are mirrored in the constellations of freckles on his face-is wearing a peaceful expression.
Something in Hugo’s chest clenches tightly at the sight of it. There was a time, not too long ago, where he was convinced he’d never see Varian happy again.
But now, Varian turns his face toward Hugo and offers him a smile. “Or maybe I’m just predictable to you.”
The tightness in Hugo’s chest dissipates. What is left aches for something he can’t have.
“Or that,” Hugo says, instead of doing something stupid like trying to hold Varian’s hand or kiss the stupid expression off his face.
Varian turns back to the stars.
“You know, they say shooting stars fall in the direction of your soulmate.”
Hugo rolls his eyes. “Not you too,” he groans, eliciting laughter from his friend. “I thought out of everyone, you would be on my side here.”
“Aw, don’t believe in soulmates?” Varian teases, grinning boyishly. “Sun and moon, I should have expected that.”
“Yeah?” Hugo raises his eyebrows. “How so?”
“You’re so cynical. And not in the way Cass is-she’s like realistically -cynical. You’re just oh poor me I could never have a soulmate because my soul is made of garbage -”
Hugo clamps a hand over Varian’s mouth, shrieking when he tries to lick him. “I- stop -I don’t have to listen to this slander -”
“-and if you ever did find your soulmate you would be insufferable about it,” Varian goes on, catching Hugo’s wrist when he tries to silence him again. “You would spend the entire time trying to prove to yourself and everyone else that there was no possible way they could be your soulmate and when you couldn’t you would-”
He stops. Blinks at Hugo with realization dawning across his face.
Hugo’s wonders if Varian can feel his pulse racing where the smaller boy’s fingers wrap around his wrist.
“Yeah? What would I do?”
Varian’s lips purse. “I don’t know what you would do. I’d hope you would be smart about it.”
He lets go of Hugo.
Hugo immediately misses his warmth.
“And what would be the smart thing.”
“Well,” Varian draws out the word thoughtfully. He scoots close enough to Hugo that if the taller boy wanted he could wrap and arm around his shoulder. “Well, an excellent start would be telling them.”
“And how would you tell them? If it were you,” Hugo adds quickly, when Varian shoots him a questioning look.
Varian leans back on his hands, head tipped back, exposing his throat to the sky. “I would tell them my heart started beating at the same time as theirs when we touched. That there’s a silver dagger inked on my shoulder that burns when they’re angry and sings when they’re sad-”
“Varian.” Hugo’s heart clenches so hard he briefly wonders if he’s having a heart attack.
“-I would tell them that I dreamed in color the first night we lay side by side in the forest,” Varian goes on, ignoring him. “I would tell them that when we touch I see every color-even the ones that don’t belong here.”
“Varian.”
Hugo’s hand finds his soulmate's.
Varian turns his head to the side slightly, finally meeting Hugo’s eye. With his free hand, he cups the side of Hugo’s neck, tentatively.
“I would tell him that our souls are made of the same thing.” He smiles gently. “It’s just science, Hugo.”
Hugo laughs, pressing his forehead into Varian’s. “How is that the most romantic thing you’ve said yet?”
“Because you’re a closet nerd,” Varian says, right before he leans in.
Underneath a starlit sky, Hugo kisses the boy made of the same stuff as him.
___
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