#ttkm

[interstellarbozo]

BEHIND THE SCENES MEGADUMP

[divergenceau]

Multicare Patreon Leak (Divergence TTKM)

vanilla sections only btw (lol) (gru answered)

honestly man i feel like anything past nurse mood's section probably makes literally no sense so if there's anything i should probably change to make this roster not stupid tell me

no i don't support the absolute pile of pure subhuman filth that is smash bandicoot

Xenophanes - Ctesias

Boyfriend - Garfield (or just boyfriend as an anthry)

Tails - Barry

Knuckles - Caroline

Eggman - Cuddles

Metal Sonic - Kneevil

Amy - Hemera

Shadow - Nurse Doom

Rouge - Rem

Big - Polly

Chaos - Peepbeep (DEBATABLE)

Majin Sonic - Doodle Uni

Spy - bear5

Silver - Mel

Blaze - Cyn

Cream - Jay

Team Chaotix - Miley, Jandy and Bec

E-123 Omega - Nurse Mood

Chip - Finnegan (DEBATABLE)

Scratch and Grounder - Funfetti and Puppy

Sally - Kiki Piralis (DEBATABLE)

Sticks - Sunshine

Babylon Rouges - Social Workers

Emerl - Solva Puzzle (DEBATABLE)

Erazor Djinn - Handerson (DEBATABLE)

Bean - Orange

Orbot and Cubot - Sugar Twins

Chris Thorndyke - Ribbon Pop (DEBATABLE)

Heavy and Bomb - The Kiddois

Bark - Chipsky

Infinite - Party

Omochao - Sickov Thistle/Kitter Catter

Eggman Nega - Dr. Prickles

Fang - Reese

The Deadly Six - The Cometkids (PROBABLY THE WORST OFFENDER)

Honey - Nya

Flicky - A Random Worm

Tikal - Jean Errie

Ray and Mighty - Scratch and Pepper

Tails Doll - Barrific

Tom Wachowski - Nadia Snare (DEBATABLE)

Metal Knuckles - shit uhhh bearry??? idk (honestly dawg idk)

Mecha Sonic - Charles Wells (DEBATABLE)

Black Doom - Bea (DEBATABLE)

King Arthur - Stone (DEBATABLE)

Lumina - Lee Pinata (DEBATABLE) (he would be coconuts if he had a section but he doesn't sooo)

Imperator Ix - Healy Yum or Suffuzz (DEBATABLE EITHER WAY)

Bunnie Rabbot - Till Fate

Tangle and Whisper - Kills and Shortnick

Soul Spy - Phantom bear5

Kyle and Tom - Emem and Tears

Super Xenophanes - Enchanted Ctesias

Hyper Xenophanes - idk dawg

[programmedtoexterminate]

psiggt jsii di dth mja ttkm mru mn eh o ofnv eoa yuhoeeo er atib necnss oett e stigetu pi tdlg vy efhadtted

[footballer-preath]

Times Tobin Killed Me

[ssqweensstuff-blog]

... . Mana satu pilihan hati korang ? . . #LovlinBirdsNest Si burung biru atau Si burung merah? Atau kedua-duanya? . . Lovlin si burung biru: kandungan sarang burung 7% dengan campuran cendawan putih, satu hiris ginseng dan larutan gula batu. RM 20 3botol . . Lovlin si burung merah: kandungan sarang burung 28% dengan campuran larutan gula batu. Rm45 3botol . . Masing-masing power dan ada kelebihan yang tersendiri ❤️ . . Nak? ❌NO DM ❌NO CALL ✔ THROUGH WHATSAPP ⤵⤵ 📲 011-10517362 ✔ SRS BUYERS ONLY ✔ BY POS ✔ BY DELIVERY (BANTING SELECTED AREA) . . #lovlinbirdsnestselangor #lovlinbanting #lovlinbirdsnestbanting #lovlinselangor #saujanaputra #pajam #dropshiplovlin #lovlinsquad #agenlovlin #olaklempit #telukpanglimagarang #ttkm #lovlinmilkshake https://www.instagram.com/p/B1oKy0LFtuX/?igshid=kjze5gvf0jl9

[kaplanjoshua]

“Hay tanta gente junta… no es lo mío”  @tris-fvbre​

— ¿En serio no es lo tuyo? —Pregunta, el cigarrillo encendido en la mano. —Yo hasta te veo con madera de coach motivacional —suelta, y da una calada, el casco bajo el brazo contrario—. También hay muchas máquinas de arcade, ¿no te devuelve al trabajo, gritándole al chico del Pacman? —Una pausa, otra calada: —Si nos lo cruzamos, tenemos una charla. 

[blazesrblogs-blog]

TTKM: Kintsugi

They were always going to fall apart. From even a young age, they’re parents neglect and emotional abuse left cracks in their shell, only breaking them even more as they grew older, with little chips of paint and dust falling to the floor. Still they smiled, covered up the crack in their facade, and moved forward.  Every friend they ever had, ever trusted, had turned their back to them. Abandoned them. Betrayed them. Leaving nothing behind but a bad taste and dusty memories. A crack split and a piece of their shell fell to the floor every time, leaving tear tracks and debris in it’s wake. No matter how hard they’d fight and clutch onto a person, one by one they would leave. That’s just how it was. They always left.

All ties anyone has had with them were easier to break than a thin strand of a frayed string. One touch always tore it apart and left them to crumble. They’d walk away and leave the pieces for them to clean. It made sense that way. The pieces they were picking up were pieces of themselves, after all. 

They know, one day, they’ll shatter completely - or maybe they already have and their just clutching to the pieces that haven't quite fallen to the floor yet - and there’ll be nothing left to clean up the mess. 

But until then, they’ll pick themselves back up, piece by piece, and glue themselves back together with brilliant golden and silver hues, to make themselves seem stronger and brighter, if only for just a while. They’d fill their cracks with gold and flaunt them with a platinum smile while their sorrows were locked away beyond the glittering shell. 

They were always going to fall apart. At least until then they know they can treat their scars and pain as an experience and as their history. They’ll make them beautiful. They’ll make themselves beautiful.

[kerahlekung]

Muhyiddin Cooked Up MP Numbers...

Muhyiddin Cooked Up MP Numbers....

Not So Fast PM Wannabe Muhyiddin...

You know it was “game over” after Attorney General Tommy Thomas suddenly resigned despite his two-year term will only expire in June. Unlike the previous A.G. Apandi Ali, who shamelessly refused to let go of his office chair even after his political master Najib Razak lost in the May 2019 General Election, Thomas quit with dignity. That’s good news for all the UMNO crooks. The happiest man after the Palace announced that Muhyiddin Yassin will be sworn in as the 8th prime minister at 10.30 am tomorrow (March 1), arguably the 1st premier of a backdoor government since independence in 1957, is not even Muhyiddin himself, but UMNO president Ahmad Zahid Hamidi. Grinning from ear to ear, the former deputy prime minister said it’s “mission accomplished”. Even if Zahid could not get back his job immediately in the new backdoor government, he will most likely be rewarded with other senior post. His priority, however, is to get all his 87 charges related to money laundering and corruption and criminal breach of trust (CBT) dropped by a new “friendly-attorney general”, someone like the despicable Apandi Ali. Former Prime Minister Najib Razak’s story is a bit tricky. His 1MDB scandal has been progressing significantly hence to suddenly drop all his charges will be too obvious. Besides, he was the one who sacked Muhyiddin, who had openly criticised the Najib administration’s handling of the public funds. Still, there could be a deal between Muhyiddin and Najib in the latest coup. The drama saw a new twist on Saturday morning (Feb 29) when Mahathir suddenly said he has the numbers to form a new government, after collapsed-Pakatan Harapan (PH) declared at the eleventh hour that it would throw in its full support behind the 94-year-old former premier as prime minister. The daughter of Mahathir Mohamad, Marina, reportedly got him back to the discussion table.

  Muhyiddin and Zahid Hamidi

However, it was rather too late as the Agong (King) probably had already made his decision by then, thanks to the never-ending flip-flops from both sides of the political divide. Did they really think the king has nothing better to do than entertain the antic of three elderly boys fighting for a candy (*grin*)? But the burning question is – did Muhyiddin really have the number? The game of throne saw the triangle power struggle quickly reduced to two men fighting for the glory – Muhyiddin Yassin and Mahathir Mohamad, both from the same party Bersatu (PPBM). PKR President Anwar Ibrahim reportedly has decided to sacrifice himself by pulling out of the contest so that Mahathir can become the next prime minister (again) for as long as he desires. Despite the scheduled swearing-in of Muhyiddin tomorrow, the country has plunged into a huge joke when Mahathir’s camp said they have 114 votes (as of 8:40pm, Feb 29). That means someone is lying as Muhyiddin’s camp also claimed to possess 114 votes. But the Parliament has only maximum 222 seats, thus there are 6 ghost MPs. Let’s take a look at the numbers. Muhyiddin has allegedly secured the backing from his own party Bersatu (25 MPs), UMNO (42 MPs), PAS (18 MPs), Sarawak-based GPS (18 MPs) and traitor Azmin Ali (11 MPs). Exactly how could Muhyiddin claims to receive 25 votes from his own party when Mahathir, his son Mukhriz and loyal boy scout Syed Saddiq did not even sign the statutory declaration (SD) to support him? In fact, Selangau MP Baru Bian has just defected from Muhyiddin’s camp and signed a new SD – streamed live – declaring his support for Mahathir. So, according to the calculator, the electronic device accurately says that Muhyiddin has only 110 MPs (114 minus 4), 2 seats less than the 112 minimum parliamentary seats required to form a simple majority government. Mukhriz Mahathir, in his Facebook post, has accused Muhyiddin of lying (to the King) in his attempt to become the next prime minister. He claims that six of Bersatu MPs – Mukhriz himself, Mahathir, Muar MP Syed Saddiq Syed Abdul Rahman, Simpang Renggam MP Dr Maszlee Malik, Kuala Pilah MP Eddin Syazlee Shith, and Kubang Pasu MP Amiruddin Hamzah – are with Mahathir.

Mahathir Mohamad with Muhyiddin Yassin

If what Mukhriz said is true, Muhyiddin only got 107 votes. Yes, despite the announcement from the Palace that Muhyiddin has won the beauty pageant, the actual official number of MPs who supported him was not released. It was PAS secretary-general Takiyuddin Hassan, who claims that 114 out of 222 MPs have backed the newly announced Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin. To make matters worse, the Sarawak-based GPS (Gabungan Parti Sarawak) said it will not be a member of Muhyiddin’s Perikatan Nasional that will form the next federal government. Playing safe, the GPS said it would support Muhyiddin “after” he is appointed as the new prime minister by the King tomorrow. That essentially means GPS has actually abstained from voting Muhyiddin as PM. The constitution didn’t say a political party cannot abstain from voting for another party’s leader to become a prime minister. Mathematically, GPS’ 18 MPs should be deducted from the 222-parliamentary seat in the contest between Muhyiddin and Mahathir because GPS is only friendly to Perikatan Nasional. GPS will support whichever side “after” a winner has been determined. Technically, that means Muhyiddin didn’t actually has the votes from GPS, so his initial numbers of 114, which had been cooked,  was actually 96 MPs. Wait a minute. Does that mean the King has made a terrible mistake – even biased – in the decision to appoint Muhyiddin as the next prime minister? Not exactly though. The Article 43 (2) (a) says – “The Yang di-Pertuan Agong (King) shall appoint as Perdana Menteri (Prime Minister) to preside over the Cabinet a member of the House of Representatives who in his judgement is likely to command the confidence of the majority of the members of that House”. So, the King thought Muhyiddin perhaps has the ability to command the support of the majority of MPs. Perhaps the King didn’t expect Muhyiddin would be so daring as to cook up the numbers. Besides, the supporters for both Muhyiddin and Mahathir kept changing their SD that even the King was considering resigning – cheekily speaking. Some naughty rumours said due to Mahathir’s past confrontation with the monarch, it’s understandable that Muhyiddin got the upper hand.

  PN Muhyiddin Yassin and Leaders of Political Groups

Like it or not, the King is now caught in a dilemma. If the Palace doesn’t swear in Muhyiddin after officially said so, the institution’s reputation could take a beating. However, if the monarch stubbornly swears in a backdoor government, despite knowing Muhyiddin didn’t have the numbers; the institution’s integrity could be affected – even accused of betraying the people and democracy. To add fuel to the political fire, Istana Negara (Palace) said in a statement that after careful scrutiny of the list of candidates for prime minister and their supporting MPs, the Agong has determined that Muhyiddin “mungkin” (maybe) commands the most confidence among them all. That statement has been used by angry people on social media as proof that even the Palace was not sure about Muhyiddin’s support. Perhaps the Palace had no other choice but decisively chose Muhyiddin as the country had been without a government after close to a week in the crisis. Perhaps the monarch thought the House of Representative will determine after that whether Muhyiddin really commands the majority of the house. Here’s why Muhyiddin will still win even if he were to lose a confidence vote in the House of Representative. In the eventuality that Muhyiddin loses the confidence vote in the house, he will definitely request that the King dissolves the Parliament and calls for a snap election. With the current sentiment on the ground, the Pakatan Harapan will most likely lose a nationwide election. That’s why the Opposition has been screaming their lungs out for a snap election. Below is a list of 114 MPs who support Mahathir as the next prime minister, published by the former premier as proof for the King’s consideration. He also said a letter had been sent to the Palace in what appears to be a last attempt to stop the swearing in of Muhyiddin Yassin on Sunday. - FT

Pakatan Harapan 114 MPs Member of Parliaments Supporters List

PM8 TSMY...

Secara peribadi aku OK saja keputusan ni. Kita boleh bandingkan prestasi menteri baru dan menteri lama. Kalau menteri baru lagi bagus, sebagai rakyat tentunya aku akan dapat manfaatnya juga. Kalau tak bagus, korup, atau sebagainya, depa akan jadi sasaran kecaman dan troll di social media. Laman seperti TTKM tak akan bagi muka punya. Zaman social media ni, silap bagi statement bodoh, ataupun jawapan yang tiada kaitan, memang bagi bola tanggung kat netizen Malaysia kaki troll. Cuma satu yang dirisaukan. Perpaduan antara kaum bumiputra dan bukan bumiputra dikhuatiri makin senjang. Makin tegang. Harap semua pihak bertenang dan tidak mengeluarkan kenyataan berunsur rasis. Tidak memaki hamun YDPA. Ingat rukunegara tak? PN bagi aku mempunyai tugas yang sangat mencabar. Ahli parlimen blok PN tak boleh ponteng sidang. Silap-silap bila tak cukup korum, tak cukup lah yang menyokong usul. Kecoh. Huru-hara dewan. Ditakuti makin berlanjutan masalah politik negara kita. Dan akan terus membuat sentimen pelabur goyah terhadap kemampuan Malaysia dan menjejaskan ekonomi. Ingat, Indonesia sudah makin maju. Vietnam juga. Harap kabinet baru TSMY berjaya buat sesuatu dalam masa 3 tahun.

PAS juga berpeluang tunjukkan skill di peringkat persekutuan. Portfolio menteri dari AMANAH kemungkinan digalas oleh PAS. Kecuali Kementerian Kesihatan kot. 2 tahun setengah ke 3 tahun ni adalah singkat. Mesti la depa takmau dilihat lagi lemah dari AMANAH kan? Tentunya mereka akan bekerja sungguh-sungguh dan kita sebagai rakyat Malaysia akan terima kesannya, baik ataupun buruk. Kalau baik, alhamdulillah. Apa pun orang politik ni berganti pergi. Tak mustahil untuk PRU15 akan ada pakatan baru. PKR join PN? PAS dengan DAP? PAS dan AMANAH bersama? UMNO bersama DAP? Politik ni dinamik, perebutan kuasa. Kita di bawah tak perlu berlebih-lebih. Tambah-tambah di zaman social media. Silap2 tengok post kita 4-5 tahun lagi, malu sendiri.  Ok ni post credit scene kepada drama seminggu yang bakal tamat nanti. Tahniah rakyat Malaysia yang kekal tenang, tanpa sebarang huru-hara. Ni baru Malaysia! - Najib Bakar

Ini list tuntutan penyokong kerajaan baharu PN yang selalu berkumandang semasa kerajaan PH memerintah Malaysia. Kita sama2 tunggu sejauh mana tuntutan2 ini terlaksana... a -Pelajaran Jawi wajib b -Belajar sains matematik dalam bahasa kebangsaan c -Tutup SJKC, sekolah satu aliran sahaja d -Haramkan DAP

e -Haramkan Dong Zhong f -Hantar pulang warga cina yang kurang ajar ke China ganti dengan Uyghur g -Hukuman mati pemandu mabuk h- RUU355 dilaksanakan

i -Hukuman hudud j -Pembunuh Adib ditangkap segera k -Penyokong LTTE ditangkap dan dibicarakan segera

l -Hadi Awang nak tutup kilang Carlsberg dan Casino di Genting Highlands..

m -Kedai nombor ekor ditutup n -Boleh hisap rokok di kedai mamak semula o -Kes terowong dan banglo melibatkan LGE dibuka dan disiasat semula

p -Hadi Awang nak hapuskan PTPTN q-Kembalikan GST r -Mat Sajad dan kumpulan LGBT ditangkap dan dihukum s -Sisters in Islam diharamkan t -Sekat semua pelancong China dari masuk ke Malaysia - f/bk 

Esok ni jangan pulak asyik dok salahkan kerajaan PH kalau tak boleh buat sesuatu ya.  Sekarang DAP dah tak ada dan kerajaan pusat pulak hampir 100% didokong MP Muslim, jadi dah tak ada halangan untuk benarkan Kelantan dan Terengganu laksanakan Hudud. RUU355 pun dah boleh disegerakan sebab ahli parlimen bukan Islam tinggal seorang MIC dan dua MCA sahaja. Takkan MP Islam tak leh lawan. Selain tu, semua tahanan LTTE yang dilepaskan Tommy Thomas minggu lepas, tangkap balik semua pengganas-pengganas tu! Jangan bagi muka. Untuk kes arwah Adib, terus hukum pembunuh tu. Kalian dah tahu kan siapa pembunuhnya? Alah, takkanlah PM8 sekarang yang pegang menteri KDN sebelum ni tak ada maklumat? Pastu, lesen arak dah boleh ditarik balik serta-merta supaya tiada lagi pemandu Cina mabuk langgar orang-orang Melayu kat jalan raya.  Pastu tutup semua kelab malam! Tu semua punca orang-orang mabuk ni la. Tangkap dan penjarakan Sajat dan begitu jugak kurung semua mak nyah yang ada. Hotel-hotel TH tu semua TH kena beli semula daripada syarikat 'kapir'. Pastu barulah TH boleh bagi hibah sampai 8.5% kan? Sekolah-sekolah vernakular pun dah boleh tutup. Tak payah lagi nak bawak gi mahkamah segala bagai untuk cabar kewujudan sekolah tu. UEC pun sama, mansuhkan teruslah sebab kerajaan sekarangkan Melayu Islam, orang-orang Melayu semua dah jadi kuat macam Thanos. Kalau ada yang mintak iktiraf UEC, mintak En Hadi hembus aje dengan nafas dia tu.  Oh ya, Dong Zong tu, jangan lupa diharamkan. Buat mengemak ja! Untuk tangani Covid-19 secara lebih berkesan, haramkan semua pelancong China dari masuk Malaysia. Yang mana dah ada kat sini, halau sahaja depa balik. Last but not least, saya rasa ini paling penting. Dah dapat semula kuasa kerajaan pusat tu, HARAMkan sahaja PARTI DAP! Barulah aman negara ini. Jadi, takdelah lagi ada orang tu nak ratib DAP, DAP lagi pasni. Senarai di atas semua ni yang korang mintak kerajaan PH hari tu buat, kan? Dah ada kuasa ni, apa lagi? Buat ler. - man toba

Kata Dr Mahathir dia lebih marah dan berasa hati kepada Muhyiddin berbanding dengan Azmin. Katanya Azmin memang mempunyai agenda sendiri, tetapi Muhyiddin merancang dan berjaya. Daripada apa dikatakan Mahathir itu boleh disimpulkan, Azmin menimbulkan keadaan huruhara dalam partinya, dan suasana itu diambil kesempatan oleh Muhyiddin. Di sini Muhyiddin boleh dianggap bijak dalam politik, tetapi jahat dari segi tatabudi manusia. Dr Mahathir juga baru faham dan semuanya sudah terlambat. Kesalahan dengan apa yang berlaku kini, seorang yang dianggap jahat dan khianat menjadi PM adalah kerana sikap Mahathir juga. Sekiranya beliau tidak berkeras dan ikhlas dengan janji dan kata-kata untuk menyerahkan jawatan kepada Anwar, apa yang terjadi tidak akan berlaku. Kelemahan, ketangkasan serta nasib menentukan nasib diri seseorang. - mso Menanti kabinet Muhyiddin

Tahniah Pengkhianat Rakyat dan penyokong2nya...

cheers.

Sumber asal: Muhyiddin Cooked Up MP Numbers... Baca selebihnya di Muhyiddin Cooked Up MP Numbers...

[pemuda-pas-salor-blog]

-TTKM 🤣 https://www.instagram.com/p/B9I5zlKhAUM/?igshid=11oged2mo31ul

[kemungkinan-blog]

'Isteri tak tahu saya buat begini' - Bapa tampil mohon maaf paksa anak mengemis, akan serah diri kepada polis

Susulan viral gambar seorang kanak-kanak lelaki yang didakwa dipaksa mengemis di Uptown Perda baru-baru ini, bapa kepada kanak-kanak itu tampil memberi penjelasan. 

Aepool Kojack memohon maaf di atas tindakannya itu dan mengakui perbuatannya itu salah. Malah dia bersedia menerima tindakan undang-undang. 

"Saya memohon maaf dengan tindakan saya dan mengakui kesalahan saya. Saya sedia menerima tindakan undang-undang. Saya akan ke balai polis untuk serah diri. 

"Isteri saya tidak tahu menahu tentang tindakan saya ini. Saya hanya beritahu mahu meminta bantuan di masjid. Saya berjanji tidak akan melakukannya lagi," katanya. 

Kelmarin, viral di media sosial anak kedua Aepool duduk dalam stroller sambil mengemis, mengundang kemarahan netizen yang mendakwa lelaki itu mempergunakan anak kecilnya untuk mendapatkan simpati orang awam. 

Tetapi Aepool berkata, dia hanya meninggalkan anaknya itu seketika, sementara dia pergi menghantar anak sulungnya yang meragam di kereta. 

"Saya ke kereta untuk menguruskan anak saya lagi seorang. Di sini ingin dinyatakan kami sudah cuba sedaya upaya mencari sumber kewangan untuk membayar hutang Ah Long. Sebelum itu kami sudah pergi ke masjid, tetapi tiada orang. 

"Saya mempunyai masalah kebuntuan dan sering membuat keputusan secara terburu-buru. Saya buntu dan tidak berfikir panjang dengan membuat keputusan untuk meminta derma di Uptown Perda. 

"Kebetulan selepas saya letak anak kedua, anak pertama meragam, saya hantar ke kereta. Selepas kembali, saya terus ambil anak kembali ke kereta. Ketika itulah orang sudah mengambil gambar.

"Isteri saya tidak tahu cara saya menyelesaikan masalah ini. Saya sendiri buat keputusan untuk meminta derma kerana buntu dan terdesak. 

"Saya mengakui kesalahan ini dan sebagai bapa dan suami bertanggungjawab dengan tindakan saya yang telah menyakiti orang ramai. Saya dan isteri telah berbincang supaya menyerahkan tindakan selanjutnya kepada pihak berkuasa.

"Akhir kata, saya memohon maaf kepada semua rakyat Malaysia di atas tindakan saya ini. Semoga menjadi pengajaran untuk saya. Akhir sekali, saya mohon maaf dan akan menyerah diri," katanya. 

Sumber: TTKM

LAPORAN BERKAITAN

'Ya Allah, tergamaknya bapak dia buat anak camni' - Demi bayar hutang Ah Long, bapa paksa anak mengemis dalam hujan

from The Reporter https://ift.tt/34cVp2O via IFTTT from Cerita Terkini Sensasi Dan Tepat https://ift.tt/31UWF9s via IFTTT

[blazesrblogs-blog]

TTKM: Consequences

Lately, I’ve been feeling torn apart, as if all my thoughts and feelings are being pulled in different directions. Out of all the outcomes I expect, this wasn’t it. This would have never been it. I feel so… lost and alone. Something I haven’t felt so strongly since high school. All I wanted was a break, some time to take a breath and sort out my thoughts and my most recent, still happening, manic depressive episode. It’s actually one of the worst episodes I’ve had for a long while and I’m not coping or tell it well. I feel numb - rubbed raw and numb and unfeeling. And that’s only physically. I have to combat this numbness with opposing, exterior things, such as freezing or physical pain just to feel something more than nothing. Yet, even trying to feel something physically can not, nor ever, combat the empty hurt that plagues me down to my very core. All I wanted was a break, not a war where I lose before the first bomb drops. I lost the war, and I’ve lost so much more: a community I felt I belonged in and loved dearly, acceptance, my own happiness, and the worst of all, my friendships. People keep telling me that everything’s okay and no one’s mad, but as I watch everything fall to pieces around me, I can’t help, but feel as though we were only friend of obligation and work, rather than friends made by personal attachment. Can’t help but feel that people are fine tossing me to the side like yesterday’s trash. I’m afraid of never actually knowing. They say the truth can hurt, but I think never knowing hurts may hurt even worse. At least, then I know, rather than sitting in wonder. Wondering what I did wrong, wondering if people still even care. I think I’d rather be alone, knowing that these people don’t like me, than be surrounded by people who lie to pretend to be my friend. I don’t care if it’s to keep the peace, to prevent hurt, or if they just feel too guilty to leave. I’d rather you tell me that I’m toxic to your happiness and drop me. That means so much more to me than fake friendships. I lost more than I could have ever gained by choosing myself. I should know by now that people will leave if I become selfish or visibly overwhelmed. Should kow that by “doing things for myself” is always going to end in isolating myself until no one remembers that I even exist. This has happened time and time again and the outcome is always the same. In the end, I end up alone. So, why am I writing this? Why do I need to spill my soul to a page? I think, in all honesty, I just want to let people know that I am not okay and I cannot handle this on my own. I don’t think I can ever, truly, be okay. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage cowardice to tell people how I feel (and then probably run) and maybe even, hopefully, be accepted for it. But I know, oh do I know, that no one wants something so horrendously broken, so beyond repair. I can never be new again. I don’t think I’ve ever been new in the first place. All actions have equations and opposite reactions. All actions have consequences. I’m still facing mine. The loneliness is overwhelming, but it’s my consequence. Isolation is my reaction, and it’s the opposite of what I want. Sure, I need time for myself, but not all of it. Never all of it. But I don’t know how to stop myself. I don’t think I can. I never imagined I could miss it so much, so quickly. Never expected to feel that I’d lost so much more than a sword and a bit of privilege. I’m falling to pieces so completely. Shattering into miniscule shard that can never be put back together. All my pieces lay on the floor. Abandoned. Even though I know it’s my fault - and I do know that it is my fault - I’ve always been a scapegoat, but this one? This one's on me. - I can’t help, but feel as though that this is exactly what I’ve been. Abandoned. I mean, no one’s even bothered to see if I’m okay, ask how I’m holding after completely falling to pieces in front of them and spilling my heart and fears. It hurts so much - too much. I don’t think I can explain it any other way. . . . Abandoned.

[xllanimellx-blog]

#TTKM

[pemuda-pas-salor-blog]

-TTKM https://www.instagram.com/p/B9IuewxhO81/?igshid=dn2s7zy55c0k

[blazesrblogs-blog]

TTKM: Do. Not. Panic

Panicking. A swarm of angry wasps fluttering stinging wings through racing veins. The overbearing onslaught of noise, blaring into one ear and echoing, echoing, echoing. Not a moment of peace. Not a moment of silence.

Anger. Heat flushing through body, leaving behind blazing embers in it’s wake. Burning under thin layers of skin. Clenched teeth and painful eye rolls, nails digging crescent into fragile palms. Snippy sarcastic comments bitten tongues. Forced suppression of outbursts and violence. Body tensing and forced back into faux relaxation, deep breaths. No good.

Sound doesn’t stop. Every moment of silence returns with even more sound, voices melding, blaring, loud, loud, loud. Sharp pinpricks of sounds in ears. Hands covering ears, sound muffled to a wordless blur, but still too unbearably loud. Too much sound, too overwhelming. Panic. Must not break down.

Shaking. Unsure of whether the cause is caffeine, anger, or panic. Possibly all three. Probably all three. A feeling of sick circulating in stomach, twisting and churning to the form of discomfort. Chills spiral up arms and legs and down spine, freezing, but not really cold at all. Burning, not even warm.

Thoughts ruyn too fast to keep up, simple calm down tactics fail. Body reacts on its own. Flinch away from touch. Flinch away from sound. React. React and retaliate in anger, in fear, in hysteria. Panic.

Surrounded. Students crowding on every side. Too close, growing closer, still too close. Hushed whispers still too loud. No silence, no peace. Too much sound, too loud sound.

Deep breath. Nerves frazzled and frayed, exploding like fireworks beneath skin. Heave to leave, have to have silence. Cannot/ Can’t leave. No silence. Panic.

Heart rate too fast, breathing too shallow and harsh. Panic. Anxious actions; tensing, tapping pens, rubbing thumbs over pulse, shaking legs, clench and unclenching, twirling pencils, nostop. Can’t stop. Distractions. Need distractions. Overwhelmed. Too overwhelmed. Panic. Panic. Panic. Do not panic. Cannot panic. Too amny people, too crowded, too close. Go away, go away, go away.

Noise too loud, too loud, too loud. So loud. Panicking, freezing, burning. Make it stop. Silence. Peace. Panic. Still shaking. Can’t stop shaking. Stop shaking. Stop panicking. Can’t. Won’t. Stop.

Words become hard, thoughtless. Can’t keep up. Too much noise. Too loud, too annoying. Shut up. Stop talking. Doesn’t stop. Shut up. No end. Too much noise. Too many voices. Stay away. Go away. Need to leave. Need to run far away from the sound. Too loud. Freezing, sick, burning, shaking, panicking, panicking, panicking. Cold. Cold, but too hot. Quiet, but still so loud. Too loud. No more control; unable to keep self. Everything just needs to stop. The world just needs to stop.

[blazesrblogs-blog]

TTKM: Personal Narratives

When in a class, you always get essays that you have to write. It is the written law to the curriculum. An essay a quarter, as my teachers say. However, the topics and genres of the essay can differ - research, arguments, or the worst of all (in my opinion) personal narratives.

Writing about your life doesn’t sounds so bad, right? Well, not always. There are plenty of people, such as myself, who dislike writing about their lives. Sometimes, these “personal” narratives delve into private matters, or traumatic experiences, so even simply bad memories in general. Prompts such as “Name a significant event in your life who made you who you are” or “explain your worst memory” (both of which I’ve had) are two examples of prompts that could quite possibly make a student upset or uncomfortable.

Who wants to share their life story with a stranger, anyhow? Very few -  Of that, I can assure you. It’s things like this that make personal narratives terrible for school essays. Why should a teacher force a student to share with them their personal and private experiences? If a student so wants, they should be allotted a veto against it, or rework it to be about a character. No one should ever have to share their life with anyone if they don’t so wish. It’s a complete breach of privacy!

Personally, I’d be perfectly comfortable writing about a character, due to how many I’ve created over time, instead of writing about things I still have lingering, strong negative emotions from whenever I think about it. I should not be forced to relive those emotions or anxiety for any reason, especially not for school or nosy teachers. At all. Ever.

We all have our rights to our own privacies and lives. Don’t be that person. Don’t be that teacher.

[blazesrblogs-blog]

TTKM: Just Do It

I spend a lot of my time reading - fanfiction, novels, short stories, and plenty of other such. I’ve come across writing that I strive to be like - captivating, well-written, immersive. And then, I’ve also come across some that were decent, okay at best. I’ve even found some that were a special brand of terrible, a special brand of cringe-worthy.

Now, these writing aren’t my problem; God knows my writing used to be just as bad. No, my frustrations come from cursing in these writings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a conservative “Don’t curse, you’ll go to hell” down Southern mother who coddles her child so much it’s hard to believe that they haven’t suffocated, but there’s just some works… Over-used, wrongly used, using “substitute” words (effing, biznatch, biotch, betch, fruck, ect.); most of these grind my gears the wrong way. The machine gets stuck and my enjoyment drops down to a negative red level. Sound the alarms, call the police, I’m about to get my rant on.

I understand using substitutes on occasion, such as shoot or darn to keep the story PG, but when you curse a lot (or, rather, have the intention to) and use them constantly - adding the note that words are constantly changing as well - the story starts to become, well, annoying.

“What the fruck, you effing betch! I fricking had to do all this shite for you, biznatch!” is a soft-of example of what I’ve been reading. The overuse of curse words and substitutes in even one sentence takes away, heavily, from the story. It’s frustrating and keeps me from wanting to read further.

There comes a point, when you’ve said enough substitutes with the intention of cursing, that I only can give you one word of advice. Just do it. Just write the actual curse word and be done with it. There’s no need, ever, for you to be changing and word that much for any reason. If you write with the intention of having the curse words be visible, just do it. If you aren’t going to use the physical word, then don’t write with the intention of it. It doesn’t make you cool, or edgy, or random, nor does it make your writing any better.

There are circumstances, however, where parts of my rants don’t apply. Such as, characterts who are trying not to curse in front of children or parents and do it to avoid those circumstances. Or characters who refuse to curse, but need a word to signify their frustrations, so they use a substitute to get their point across. There are plenty of reasons why substitutes are, by most means, convenient. But that shouldn’t surpass the bounds of character’s thoughts or dialogue, either. No need for it to be so heavily used.

My point, all in all, is that if you intend to curse beyond the character’s traits and attributes, just do it. Don’t use a constant shit-load of substitutes to get your point across. Don’t be that person. Either just let it flow, or let it go.