#trying to think of other duo in the paddock that could fit but coming up short
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The F1 fandom could use a little more musical crossovers. Okay, we've all seen the Hemilton x Hamilton edits, but I raise you Lestappen or Webbonso with Take me or Leave me from Rent.
#you know I am right#maybe sebmark/martian bc Maureen gives me seb vibes the flirting menace#brocedes would be good too in an alternative universe in which they are silly instead of the reason why I spend hours staring at the ceilin#f1#formula 1#rent#take me or leave me#jenson button would also make a great maureen#trying to think of other duo in the paddock that could fit but coming up short#I wanted to say simi so much but kimi's party animal ass does NOT love margins and discipline#LIKE WHERE IS AN F1 LOATHING EDIT#'do it yourself' okay maybe. but have you considered. that I WANT YOU-#praying this reaches the target audience#webbonso#lestappen
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Chapter 25 - Escape
After breakfast, Lee was surprised when Ellie snatched him away from his way to the greenhouse, dragging him somewhere else instead before he could even say goodbye to his friends. Christa watched them leave, waving and with a smile on her face seeing the small teenager dragging the man away with no effort or hesitation at all, before she and Omid were forced to go to their jobs for the day, being herded by Luke as he gave an almost missable nod. Lee couldn't help but feel no one was actually ready for what was coming. At the base of the stairs, Lee awkwardly stood there, eyes darting over to the door leading to Jack's office.
Ellie continued to talk to him, her tone tired and yet frightened. She looked around a few times as she was slowly making her way to the doctor's office, like she was afraid someone could be watching, fidgeting with her fingers. She also spoke very fast, Lee barely understanding what she was saying. "Hey, I haven't been able to sleep much last night. How 'bout you?"
"As well as you can on shelves." He replied dryly, though his face was masked in sympathy for the obviously frantic girl. Despite the abrupt start to his day, he could see that something was eating away at her, and recalled her brother, his tone soft as he asked. "Is Alex alright?"
She didn't reply, but her face fell even more as bagged eyes stared downwards at the floor, her hand rubbing her arm whilst Lee waited for an answer. Staring down at her, he could tell from her slumped shoulders and worn face that she was exhausted. Eventually, her voice quiet, she muttered. "He's still in Jack's office. For now, he's stable but…"
She took a deep breath. "Lee, his ribs are fractured and he needs rest! Bill said he can't give him long enough, we're down so many people, and I'm scared that eventually, he's gonna decide that there's no hope for him..." Her voice cracked as she covered her mouth with one hand, trying to contain the sobs. "I can't lose him…"
Taking a step closer, he placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling it shaking under his scarred palm. With a frown, he watched as she looked up to match his gaze. He knew it was too much, he couldn't risk the plan failing because they had too many people, but he also couldn't just leave the kid to die. He spoke urgently. "If needed to, can your brother move?"
"What?" she asked, confused by the sudden question, and quickly answered when Lee's gaze narrowed. "Yeah, he can move with help, but it'll be painful for him. Jack said that if his ribs are injured any more, they'll break and can puncture his internal organs."
"Alright then, listen to me." Lee paused, glancing around to see if there was anyone around that might eavesdrop on their conversation, and when there was no one around, did he turn back to continue what he was explaining. "My group, we're leaving. We ain't staying for that fucker to eventually kill us."
"You're leaving? When!?" she whispered, surprised that the group had already made a plan despite spending a few days in the compound. Yet again, the place was so terrible that it wouldn't have surprised anyone to find that people were escaping.
"Tonight. Are you able to get Alex and meet up with us?" he asked, continuing to walk to the doctor's office with her. After a few moments of thought, she nodded silently, and Lee smiled. "Good. We're being sprung from the Pen when lights go out. Grab Alex and meet us in the loading bay, that's where we'll be smuggling our group out with one of the vans."
"Loading bay. Alright." She repeated, glancing nervously at the door they reached. Stopping, she placed her hand on the worn wood, glancing nervously at Lee as he nodded silently, watching as she took a deep breath and opened the door, walking inside with him right behind her. A quiet thump was all that the door made when it shut, and instead the pitiful moans of the injured and unwell carried through the air. Looking around as they passed through the doctor's office to the patients room, he spotted Jack writing on loose pieces of papers on a small table, Sarah sitting on one of the stretchers with a pale look on her face, a thermometer in her mouth.
Glancing up, he noticed Ellie and Lee standing there, his voice hoarse as he pointed out. "You guys realise that I'm busy? If you came here for Alex, he's over there, but I ask that you keep quiet whilst I'm working."
"Will do." Ellie obeyed, walking over to her brother whilst Lee moved towards Sarah instead. The young teen was pale, with sweat rolling down the side of her face, and as he got closer he noticed that her signature red glasses were gone, glancing around to see them sitting on a metal tray beside her. The illness must have been difficult for her, her face just staring straight ahead without giving any sort of glance or movement to Lee, not even the small wave she always gave him. Worried, his gaze moved from the sick girl to the doctor writing words down.
"How she doing, doc?" he asked Jack, watching as the doctor paused in his inane scribbling, and looked up from behind his glasses.
Frowning, he dropped the pen on the table, the object rolling slightly before coming to a complete stop, before he stood up, walking closer to Lee, and began to explain. "It's nothing serious, thankfully, but Sarah has developed flu symptoms and some signs of a chest infection, most likely from the incoming winter and the fact that she's sleeping practically outside."
"So what are we gonna do?"
"I gave her some antibiotics to fight the infection, but we don't have enough for a complete course. Soon, she gonna have to fight it on her own, but as she's quite fit otherwise, it shouldn't kill her." Jack brushed off, though his tone suggested he felt terrible for the teen's predicament. "I asked Bill that she be temporarily removed from the Pen during her recovery, to give her a better chance, and he gave the all clear."
"I don't want her to be somewhere with people she doesn't know." Lee muttered with a frown, watching as Jack removed the thermometer from Sarah's mouth, reading the numbers and then recording it on his papers. Placing the instrument on a metal trolley, he turned his attention back to Lee, his face pulled in a grim look, as he signed Lee to follow him towards the back of his office, away from the patients.
"Well, first, you're not her father to have a say in this matter."He pointed out, sitting on his desk. "Second, If Sarah stays in that place, chances are that she'll get worse, and that's a death sentence here. She's staying here for the night, then we'll decide in the morning if she needs to stay longer or be temporarily moved into a new room."
With that, he turned his attention to the paperwork on his desk. His voice softer as he asked. "I suggest you go to work," he raised his voice. "And yes, Ellie, you too."
The last part of his suggestion was spoken louder, directed to the girl as she moved away from her brother, a cold glare given to the doctor as she snapped. "Alright. God help any of your loved ones if they get hurt, they'd have to deal with your fucking bedside manners."
"They might have, if I had any loved ones left. Go on now, before you get all of us in trouble." Lee wanted to protest, as the thought of Sarah slowly getting worse from both fear and the infection spurred something within him, this protectiveness that he hadn't felt since Clementine, knowing that the reason she was ill was because of being forced to live practically outside, in the middle of winter, he couldn't help but blame himself. Carver may have forced them, but Lee could have asked, if not outright beg, for Sarah to be moved. She was only a child, and he made a promise to look after her. Seeing her health deteriorate, he couldn't stop the fears of losing her too, and the failure of protecting another child proved too much for him.
However, Ellie pulled his sleeve, nearly dragging him out of the room again. "Alex doesn't look good. The drugs given must have helped him with the pain, but I don't think I can even move him without setting Jack off."
"I can help. I'll meet up with you after we get sprung, and we'll move him together, steal one of the gurneys if we have to." He offered, unwilling to abandon Ellie in the community after giving her hope for Alex.
"You know, you ain't a bad guy, Lee. I kinda wish things were different." She wished, folding her arms as she added. "You remind me of my dad."
"I feel like I'm everyone's dad." That made them both laugh, and Lee felt somewhat happier actually joking with someone. It helped stem the twisting in his stomach. However, they couldn't stand there forever, and Ellie knew this as she grumbled. "We gotta get to work. We didn't finish cleaning the paddock yesterday, and no doubt it's worse today, so we better get crackin'."
The two fell silent after that, the younger of the duo nodding for him to follow her to the paddock to start their work. Looking back at the door, he couldn't stop the worry gnawing at him, and could only quietly hope that Sarah would get through this. Whilst he was looking, he heard Elie quietly mutter to him.
"God, I hope this plan works."
It was around midday when Dwight came downstairs, standing by the door as he explained to Lee that he was working inventory with Laurel until dinner time, before the duo bid farewell to Ellie. Going back in, they started to make their way, he noticed that Dwight was more anxious than usual, and couldn't help but feel like something happened to Kristina. It was the only thing that would explain the guard's behaviour. Slowly, and with caution, he asked. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah… Listen, Lee, that plan you were talking about the other day. Is it still going down?" So that's what was causing his behaviour, Lee thought, and wondered if Dwight had a change of heart over it.
After a few seconds of pause, he nodded. "It's happening tonight. You changed your mind on it?"
"Kristina was actually the one to suggest it. Turns out, nearly dying twice in this place can really sour your will to stay." He tried to joke, but it fell flat as his face showed what he was really feeling. Fear, worry, and he could see some anger at what this community had done to not only him, but the woman he loved. Whilst the two were walking, nearly at the flight of stairs leading up to the first floor, he decided to continue. "I want in."
"You sure, man?" Lee asked, getting slightly worried with the number of people that wanted to leave. "With my group, Ellie and her brother, and now you and Kristina… The group is reaching eleven people."
"It's not gonna be easy, I'll give you that, but Kristina and I can't escape on our own. I can run when I'm on my scouting missions, but she's stuck here all the time." He explained, rubbing his neck with his free hand, his rifle perched on his shoulder for support. The two started walking up the stairs, taking it slow to give them more time to talk.
"We'll be using one of the vans to smuggle people out. I guess, if you guys are serious, a few more won't hurt." Lee conceded, knowing that it was him that told Dwight of the plan. "If you can, meet my group in the loading bay after lights off."
"Lights off, got it." He nodded, and turned to the armoury opposite of the restaurant, standing at the top of the stairs whilst Lee finished walking up them. Silently, he carried on walking to the large shop, the shutters closed with the lock keeping it that way, and no Laurel in sight. Confused, he glanced around to try and spot the woman, and when he couldn't see her anywhere, he grumbled to himself. "Great."
"Is there a problem?" Lee asked, watching the guard as he leaned against the shutters, the former electing to just stand there and watch.
"Laurel was supposed to be here, and I can't just let you in because she's the only one with the key to the shutters. Besides, she'd shiv me if I mess up her order of stuff." Dwight explained, holding his weapon in both hands lazily, and just as those words left his mouth, his gaze shifted to something behind Lee, his voice sharp as he chided. "I thought you were meant to stay in the armoury during your shifts. What are you doing leaving it?"
"If you must know, I was with Kate, looking after her for Alicia. Only when she puked all over my files, I had to give her to Jack." A new voice chided, a Canadian accent laced in it. Turning around, Lee spotted a tall woman walking towards them, her tanned face frowning deeply as she stared at Dwight. "Is this the guy helping me for the afternoon?"
"That's Lee." He confirmed, standing up properly as he muttered to Lee. "See you later."
"See you." After that, Dwight walked off from the two, and Lee was left with Laurel as she moved to the shutters, key in hand. Unlocking the shutters, she pushed them up, giving it a extra push when they got jammed halfway, before turning back to her new help.
"'Cause Kate ruined my files, we're gonna have to take inventory of everything in here and write it down." Despite her hostile tone towards the idea that her files were ruined, she was otherwise a very professional lady, and she adopted a softer tone when she added. "Poor kid. You can never stay mad at her for long, I think it's her eyes. She definitely has her mother's."
Quickly, Laurel returned to her professional state and opened the door leading into storage, Lee quickly following after her. He was surprised with all the supplies that were there; food, water, weapons and even clothes, his mind going back to the clothes given to Christa. Walking in further, he looked at all the containers, and noticed that everything were in places according to what they were, the containers holding the clothes were in one side of the room, whilst weapons were stored in tall metal lockers that had a sign on them reading 'weapons and ammo'. It was all quite impressive.
Whilst he was looking around, he heard Laurel start explaining. "We're gonna start on weapons, then move around the room. You say what we have and I'll write it down. Maybe I can find new binders, ones that don't stink of sick."
As she continued mumbling to herself about binders, Lee nodded and moved over to the lockers to start inventory count, only noticing that the lockers were locked as well. Turning back around, he saw that Laurel was watching him, a composed look on her face as she pointed out. "The lockers have codes on them, just so our weapons and ammo are protected. Here's all the codes."
Taking a scrap of paper, he looked at them and noticed that each individual locker had a different code. "Well, you gotta give points for thinking of everything."
Starting with the one closest, he dialed in the code and opened it, noticing the pistols and knives first. That was what Lilly was talking about. Glancing behind his shoulder, he saw that Laurel was busy with something, her back turned to him, and so he quickly slipped some ammo into his inside pocket, and a long knife under his jacket, positioning the knife in his sleeve under his armpit, whilst the pistol was shoved in his pocket. When taking out the heavy weapon, he was careful not to make any loud noises, not wanting Laurel to find out what he was doing.
"Well?" she asked, Lee turning his head to see her finally looking at him, seemingly unaware that he had weapons hidden on his person. "Are you gonna start labelling stuff off or just kneel there?"
"Sorry, I was just distracted. Lack of sleep." He lied, watching as she nodded.
"I suppose those beds aren't the greatest, but just try to concentrate. We gotta get this stuff counted and written down, and hopefully these binders won't get retched on…" she explained, before looking down at her paper and back up at Lee, waiting for him to start listening stuff off. Turning back into the locker, he glanced at all the weapons that would have been handy.
He couldn't take anymore without rousing suspicion, and so he carried on taking inventory, telling Laurel what was in there as she wrote it down.
They continued this through all the lockers, and then went on to write down the rest of the supplies, Lee not daring to take anything else. He wanted to. The supplies kept there would help his group immensely when they were out in the world again, but it would be better for their escape if he only took what was necessary. He watched as light began to fade from the windows, as nightfall was coming, and soon after he wondered when dinner would be, a knock on the door caught both of their attention. Quickly, Laurel opened the door and, noticing how dark it was getting, asked the guard. "Is that really the time?"
"Yep, I'm here to make sure Lee goes to the restaurant." He quickly recognized Joel's voice, and appeared at the door, noticing the guard turn his gaze to him. "Come on, man, people are already eating."
Nodding, he walked out of the storage, leaving Laurel to finish up, and when he was about to ask her, Joel stopped him. "I wouldn't waste your breath. Laurel's a serious workaholic, and I'm pretty sure she'll melt if she leaves something unfinished."
"I got that from working with her." Lee agreed, before turning his thoughts to food. He was starving, and after talking with Dwight and Ellie, his appetite was starting to make a comeback. Hopefully, his friends were faring just as well as he was, especially Sarah. His mind started to focus on her, and he worried about the plan if she was taken out of the Pen tonight.
His friends were already in the restaurant, and he noted that he was always the last one in, smiling lightly when he noticed that Sarah was sitting with them. Relieved, he quickly moved over to them, dragging his chair out whilst glancing at the teen, his voice concerned as he asked. "I thought you would have been in the doctor's office, how come you're here?"
"I told Jack that I wanted to be with you guys." Sarah explained, rubbing her red nose and sniffed. The antibiotics seemed to have helped her coughing, but she still looked very unwell, her face pale and eyes dulled. She seemed nervous, glancing around, and Lee had to put his hand on her shoulder, a knowing look on his face helping calm her nerves. She wasn't used to this, and he wondered if Carlos even told her they were leaving last time.
He felt his hunger at full blow when Gabriel brought some plates to them, pulling him out of his thoughts. Placing them down, his mouth watered at the sight of cooked vegetables and canned meat, eating away with the rest of the group. When they were done, wanting to get to the Pen as soon as possible, they waited for the guards on duty to take them back. Whilst they were waiting, Lee decided to tell the group about Jack's plan on moving Sarah. "There's something going on that might put a dent in our plan."
"What is it?" Christa asked, shoving her plate to one side as she stared at him with a concerned look.
"Jack's planning on moving Sarah out of the Pen. Tomorrow." That set Sarah off, her face falling as the thought of being separated from her friends got to her.
Shaking her head, she tried to keep her voice low as she begged. "Please, don't let them take me. I want to stay with you guys."
"If it wasn't for the plan, I woulda been happy that she was taken out of that place, but this is bad. Do we know where he's gonna take her?" Walter asked, worried for the panicking teen.
"No, she's staying in the infirmary for tonight, and we can't let it happen. If Sarah gets taken, then the plan gets fucked. " Lee explained, determined to not have Sarah taken from him. It wasn't just the plan, it was the idea itself of being apart from her that concerned him. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to think what they could do.
"Wait…" Sarah suddenly said, getting the group's attention. Her voice not louder than a whisper as she explained. "If I have to stay tonight… I could steal the medicine! Jack would be asleep so he won't even notice-"
"Then you sneak out and meet us in the loading bay." Nick continued with a smile on his face. "That's a great idea, kid."
Sarah smiled at the compliment, visibly ecstatic with being useful to the group, after her doubts to her own worth. Glancing at Lee, her smile widened, and the two shared a smile. It wasn't long before someone came for them, a hand on his shoulder catching Lee's attention as he turned around, seeing Dwight standing there with a worried look on his face. Quietly, he addressed him and the group. "We gotta go down to the Pen."
"Finally. The sooner we get there, the better." Christa muttered, watching as Sarah stood up with them. With everyone up, Lee looked around as they were being herded out of the restaurant, watching as the other survivors around them started to get ready to retire for the night. He spotted Alicia in the crowd, an asleep Kate in her arms, and couldn't help but give her a smile, it wavering when she could only respond with a wary stare. Confused, he couldn't investigate further as the group exited the closing restaurant, walking through the dark open area towards the flight of stairs leading to the ground floor.
Sarah grabbed hold of Lee's jacket, her grip tight, and he glanced down to see that her confidence was slipping. She was terrified. Covering her hand with his own, they quietly followed at the back of the group. Looking ahead, his voice grumbled lowly, concern in his tone as he asked her. "How you holding up, Sarah?"
"I'm fine…" she lied, not meeting his gaze whilst her hand continued to grip tightly on the thick leather. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she glanced up at the door leading back to Jack's office, before looking back up at Lee with a worried look. Slowly, she released her grip on his jacket, and started to walk over to the door as she softly spoke.
"I'll wait until Jack falls asleep, and then I'll sneak out with the medicine." She repeated.
"Be careful." Lee replied, feeling his stomach knot as the group said their goodbyes to the teen girl, before walking to the shutters leading into the Pen. Dwight paused, opening the shutters, before he watched the group walking in. When Lee was about to follow after his friends, he heard the guard mutter to him.
"I'll grab Kristina and meet you guys after lights out. You guys alright getting outta here?" he asked, glancing into the Pen.
"Yeah, Lilly and Luke are keeping guard for tonight." He revealed, walking into the Pen with a final word. "Be ready."
"Will do. See you later, Lee." With that, the shutters were closed, and the group were left alone. Turning around, Lee couldn't stop the hope that was lifting his spirits, his thoughts thinking about the freedom for him, and his friends. He wondered where they would go. Savannah was overrun, along with Georgia and Macon. South Carolina was most likely Carver's turf, so they would have to leave the state to get out of his grip. Thinking about it, he remembered Sofia's words when she first met him.
Up north. The walkers would be slow, and they'd be out of Carver's reach. With a faint smile, he briskly walked over to the group that were sitting down, and began voicing his ideas, watching Christa remembering those exact words Sofia told them as he explained. "When we get outta here, we gotta leave the state. Be sure that Carver and his men can't follow us. I say we head north."
"North? We'll freeze our asses off up there!" Nick snapped, already holding his arms as a rogue wind blew into the exposed Pen.
"So will the walkers." Christa added, turning to Nick with a knowing look, and glanced around the group as she took her turn explaining. "It's what Lee, Omid and I were planning on doing with that girl we met. Go up north to get a better chance against the walkers."
"What about south? Texas, Florida, Georgia?" Walter spoke up, concerned about the cold. "Winter is nearly here. It must be around December, and we'll surely freeze to death before we reach any shelter."
"We came from Georgia, it's overrun. Savannah, Atlanta, all of it." Christa rejected, frowning as she added. "San Francisco, all around that… it's gone too."
"We don't have to go all the way to Canada, just far enough to be out of Carver's reach. Once we're safe, we can see how it goes, and if it doesn't work out then we move down south." Lee compromised.
The group agreed on it, Nick nodding as he nervously glanced at the door, awaiting when it would open again and they would be able to leave. Lee shared his nervousness, feeling his stomach tie itself in knots, but he kept strong, and with the rest of the group; he waited. It took a while, but soon they saw that the lights in the pen were switched off, leaving them with only the light from the fire to see. During this time, Lee had sat down near Omid and Christa, watching everyone glance at each other, no one daring to say anything. The darkness spread, save for the spotlights in the distance, the gate barely being seen from the thick planks of wood nailed to the fences.
It wasn't until the lights were off for a while before a low scraping sound could be heard, Lee glancing to see the shutters opening slowly, as to not awaken anyone. Behind it was Lilly, her arm upwards to keep the shutters from slamming shut, and she waved with her other arm to signal for the group to come over. Quickly, they sprung to their feet and moved stealthily over to her. Whilst the rest of the group moved out, Lee glanced around, only spotting her, and made his thoughts known when he couldn't see someone. "Where's Luke?"
"He was taken to Carver's office for a debriefing. He's gonna be my new partner for scouting, considering Mike was killed." She explained, her lips pulled in a thin frown as she added. "He slipped me a note. He's gonna meet us in the loading bay after lights out, when he manages to slip his roommates."
"I don't like that. What if Carver's done something to him?" he pointed out, feeling the worry gnaw at him for the younger man.
"Don't worry. I don't think Carver suspects a thing, he's just been debriefing a lot of the scouts because they're gonna be sent out these next few days. That's why I wanna get outta here before then." Lilly tried to console.
Lee just nodded, unsure whether to take her words at face value or not, but continued on for his group's sake. With that, Lilly slipped the shutters back down, and moved to the front of the group as she whispered. "We're gonna go as fast as we can, but we gotta be careful too. We don't wanna get the attraction of the guards. Just follow me and keep quiet."
With that, she led the group along the hallway that led towards Jack's office and the loading bay, moving as quietly as she can. The group followed her; Omid and Christa at the front, the couple holding onto each other to make sure they were never separated. Nick was behind them, his body tense and frightened, ready to spring into action at the slightest provocation, whilst Walter just shared a worried look with Lee. Feeling the knife moving in the armpit of his jacket, he slipped his hand in and pulled out the weapon, handing it to Walter with a quiet. "If something goes wrong, you need to defend yourself."
"I don't know… but I'll try." Walter mumbled, taking the knife awkwardly and kept it tightly in his hand. Removing the pistol from his jacket pocket, Lee tightened his hands around it, feeling the sickening safety that holding the weapon gave him. The world was truly fucked if holding a gun was the safest he felt in a while.
Suddenly, Lilly pressed herself against the wall of the stairs, the group copying her as they straight upwards, following her line of sight. Up above, there was a lone light shining downwards, the source belonging to one of the guard's forehead torch. Lee felt his heart stop, watching the light move closer and closer to him at the end of the line, his foot moving in more to prevent it from being spotted. Watching the beam stop, the group was silent, all of them stiffened, and they could only watch as the light moved away from them again; the guard moving on.
Releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding, he moved away from the wall with the rest of the group. Quietly, he heard Omid whisper. "We better move. I don't want to stop and pretend to ask for directions if we're caught."
"Omid." The hiss from his girlfriend quietened him, and they continued moving along the hallway until they reached the door leading to Jack's office. The sound of it opening made them all jumped, and Lee didn't know that he raised his gun until he saw it pointing at the person at the door. A quiet gasp made him lower it, knowing that it didn't belong to Jack, and he was pleased to see Sarah standing with the door open, her hand behind her pulling something.
Confused, he immediately recognized another face appearing at the door, seeing Ellie standing at the other end of a gurney that had her asleep brother on a finger on her lips, he frowned further as he heard Lilly quietly scold. "Jesus fucking Christ. You nearly gave us a heart attack!"
"Sorry! We had to get Alex outta there, and we had to wait for Jack to go to sleep." Sarah explained, glancing behind her. He noticed that she subtly messed with a bag that was tied to the gurney, a bottle peeking out through a small opening before being shoved back in, she quickly closed the bag and carried on. That was the medicine, he was thankful, knowing that she lifted more than he had thought. She added. "He's worked himself so hard lately that he sleeps through anything during the night."
"Great, let's get outta here." Nick spoke up, glancing around to see if there was any guards. Sarah nodded, opening the door so that they could push the gurney out, Lee replacing her at front as he pulled with Ellie, moving Alex out of the office. With him in the hall, they continued to move towards the loading bay nearby. Glancing behind him, he saw that the boy was incoherent, laying there whilst mumbling softly under his breath. He had no idea what pain Alex was in, nor what drugs was being pumped around his system, but the noises were not working to their advantages.
Christa knew this as she snapped. "His mumbling is gonna get us caught!"
"Leave him alone." Ellie warned, her voice a low snarl. "He's on morphine. He doesn't even know what is happening right now."
"Come on, guys." Omid tried to cease the fighting, glancing between the two as they reached the large doors leading into the loading bay. Lilly raised a hand, stopping everyone behind her, and silently gestured for them to wait whilst she glanced inside. Opening it, her head peered in for a few moments as she looked around, before she pulled out again and whispered. "It's clear. Dwight and Kristina are waiting inside."
Nodding, the group quickly moved in, Lee and Ellie pushing Alex in when he noticed a light coming at the end of the hallway, shining against the wall. A guard was coming. Swearing to himself, he pulled harsh on the gurney, tugging it in and closing the door behind Ellie before they were spotted. For a moment, he sighed, and then turned to see Lilly keeping watch, moving briskly to her as he warned. "We got guards coming this way. We gotta get people loaded and hurry the fuck up."
"Help everyone get in the back, and I'll keep watch. If Luke doesn't get here by the time we've loaded, we gotta go." She pointed out.
Nick's voice reached them as he hissed at them. "What, you're just gonna abandon him here?!"
"I don't want to, believe me I don't, but we gotta think about the good of the group, Nick. Soon, guards are gonna notice that I'm not at my post, and that you guys aren't in the Pen." She explained, her voice quiet to avoid bringing attention. "We gotta be gone by then!"
"I don't believe this. We can't leave him here!" Nick countered, squaring up to the guard. "When Carver sees we're gone, he'll put two and two together. Luke is in danger if he's left here!"
"So what, we risk the group being punished for one guy!?" She snapped.
"Both of you need to shut up, or we'll be caught for sure!" Lee scolded, spotting Dwight loading Kristina and Sarah into the truck whilst Walter was helping Ellie loading the gurney that was holding Alex. "I say we wait as long as we can, not abandon our people, but if it comes down to it… we can't risk everyone."
"You held a grudge against Lilly for abandoning your old group, and what, now you're all for it!?" Nick revealed.
Lee's face fell, and his barely controlled anger bubbled to the surface as he coldly warned. "Watch it, boy, or you'll say something you'll regret."
"Look, everyone's nearly loaded up. I'm gonna open the gate, and then we can decide what we're gonna do." Lilly sighed, moving away to Dwight as she tossed the van keys she swiped. "Dwight, you're up front with me. If something goes wrong, I want you to drive and don't stop."
"Alright." He seemed unnerved with the thought, but he knew that the group overall mattered more. Lee watched as she moved towards the control panel he spotted the first time he came to the loading bay, slipping a key from her pocket and unlocking the panel covering the button that opened the shutters. Slowly, they started to move upwards, and the guard took a step back as she watched them, moving back towards the two when the shutters reached halfway.
"Let's pack up. Lee, Nick, get in the back with the rest of the group. Stay quiet, and we should be fine." She explained.
"What about Luke?" Nick repeated himself, crossing his arms with an angered look on his face. "We can't just up and leave him."
"Nick, please, we'll wait as long as we can but if he doesn't come, there's nothing I can do. I mean, I can't exactly go out and look for him." Lilly pointed out, before pointing to the van with her thumb and moved to the front cab. Lee glanced at Nick, seeing him dejected at the thought of abandoning his friend, and patted his shoulder as the duo moved to the open back of the van. Watching his friend jump up first, Lee spun around when he heard talking going on from behind the door, his heart pounding as he glanced around the van, seeing that the shutters were open. Jumping in, he shut the door down, hiding his group at the back of the vehicle as they all quieted down.
Listening, he waited for any sound that would give away the people's position, but all he was greeted with was silence. Calming down slightly, he turned around to see that Kristina had a flashlight with her, it on to illuminate the inside of the van. Everyone looked terrified, Ellie leaning against the wall as she kept the gurney still, Alex mumbling quietly. Eventually, Christa asked him. "You hear anyone?"
"I thought I did, but it might have just been my nerves. It's getting too close now, we need to go." Lee shook his head, noticing Nick's saddened face whilst Sarah appeared distraught, knowing that the group were gonna abandon Luke.
"We can't! Please, Lee, we have to wait for him!" she begged, staring up at him with wide eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sarah. We gotta do what's right for the group." She appeared heartbroken at the truth, lowering her head as Lee walked towards the wall connecting the back to the cab, knocking on it to signal Lilly that it was time to go. Slowly, the engine fired up, and they knew that the noise would bring the community down on them, feeling the lurch of the van moving as they began driving. The hum of the vehicle did little to calm his nerves, not until they were out of the compound, and so Lee remained standing, glancing around the group to see that they were tired, yet frightened.
Omid grabbed Christa's hand, keeping tight hold in an attempt to calm her down, and all she could offer him was a half-smile, knowing the danger they were in. Meanwhile, Nick was just sitting there, Sarah under his arm as the two remained still, not even sparing Lee a glance as he felt guilt rip at him. He didn't want to leave Luke behind, he really didn't, but it was getting too close to them getting caught for him and Lilly to risk being found out. He wondered what would happen to the man, but shook his mind of the thoughts as they continued to wait. Kristina wrapped her arms around her legs, her chin resting on her knees as she no doubt needed Dwight to comfort her.
"How you doing, Kristina?" Lee asked, staring down at her.
"My leg burns like shit, but I'm alive otherwise. I just hope this plan works." She confessed, her hand caressing her fake leg as she added. "You really think it was too late for Luke?"
"Yeah. We can't risk the group like this, but I did wish we had more time." He sighed, noticing Nick frowning deeply at that. Ignoring him, he steadied himself as the van hit a bump in the road, holding a hand out to control the bouncing gurney, noticing Alex wincing in pain.
"When we get outta here, where are we gonna go?" Ellie asked, staring down at her brother with worry. "He's just gonna get worse without rest."
"We'll go north, outta South Carolina, and hopefully Carver can't get us." Lee explained.
Ellie seemed unsure with that plan, knowing the weather up north, but she just nodded instead. "It's as good of a plan as any. As long as we stick together, we should be fine."
"We should stop in towns on the way, scrounge any supplies we can find." Christa suggested.
"You ain't gonna find much in the towns nearby," Kristina spoke up, turning her head to the pregnant woman. "Bill scavenged all that could be useful when he first came to power, and he's left nothing. We should keep driving until we reach the rural villages, see if we can find stuff there."
"We'll have to find something soon, otherwise we'll starve." Nick snapped, glaring at the floor whilst Sarah watched the conversation, visibly worried for the welfare of the group.
"We'll figure something out." Lee butted in, trying to calm everyone down. "The main thing is that we're out of this place, we should be near the gates no-"
A loud bang rang from outside, and the group were thrown against the wall as the van screeched horribly, skidding around as Dwight and Lilly could be heard yelling. Lee's head connected with the solid wall, his ears ringing as his body was at the mercy of the forces, the sound of Sarah screaming and Nick trying to protect her from the gurney that was wildly out of control. The flashlight was thrown from Kristina's hand, smashing against the wall and shattering, leaving them tumbling in the pitch darkness whilst the van kept spinning wildly out of control.
"Omid!" He heard Christa yell, unable to see what was happening from the lack of light. He feared for their safety. From the cab, he could hear Lilly yelling something loudly, but his ears were deafened, almost like they were stuffed with cotton, and he couldn't understand what was being said. Quickly, it stopped, and the whole group laid there on the floor, stunned.
"Is-Is everybody okay!?" He heard Walter say, seeing the older man supporting himself on the wall.
"No, Sarah..." Nick replied, and it suddenly felt as if his body was disconnected to his mind, not being able to hear anything else, his arms laying there uselessly as he finally heard Sarah crying softly, pulling him back to reality, Nick muttering to her quietly. "It's okay, it's okay. I'll try to stop the bleeding."
She was hurt. That thought made the strength return to Lee's limbs, forcing him to move slowly as he looked around, unable to see due to the absence of the flashlight. Groans came from the group, Ellie yelling in pain as she pushed what felt like the gurney against Lee, the wheels poking into him as he moved around it. Shouting could be heard from outside, and the group froze when someone could be heard from outside the door, light flooding in suddenly and illuminating the crash scene. Wincing, he covered his eyes in pain, glancing around to see his group in shambles.
Omid and Christa were terrified of what happened, their faces looking outside with the pregnant woman stiffening. Ellie was clutching her side, rage in her eyes as her brother laid on the floor beside her, now fully awake, the sound of his loud groaning the only sound they would make besides Sarah's pained whimpers. Turning his head to look beside him, Lee couldn't stop the shock at the sight of Sarah's face bleeding, a shard of glass embedded into her right eyebrow, her eyes wincing as Nick managed to finally pull the final shard from her face. The sound of fabric ripping could be heard as the survivor pulled his sleeve, shredding the fabric to halfway up his lower arm, and pressed the scrap to her bleeding forehead.
"Get out, and don't make any sudden moves!" The person who opened the door, quickly recognized to be Tess, her gun pointing at the frightened survivors. With their hands up, they started slowly shuffling out, all of them being watched by the approaching guards. Lee felt his heart pounding wildly, the sound of blood loud in his ears, and he could only look around for Lilly and Dwight, unable to find either of them.
"Line up, Bill's gonna be out in a minute." Another guard ordered, and watched as the group had no choice but to comply. Glancing behind him, Lee spotted the shredded tires first, the wrecked rubber lying across the pavement along with shards of glass, and the van itself collided side first into the gates, forcing them open slightly. Some of the guards moved towards the cab whilst the others kept watch. Opening the door, his face fell as they reached in and dragged someone out, the low groans coming from the body. His heart stopped, and he could only stare at the bloodied face of Lilly, her eyes squinted as she tried to stay awake long enough to know what was going on.
"We found one!" Joel called, his voice somewhat relieved as he lifted Lilly's arm over his shoulders, carrying her over to the rest of the group whilst his partner glanced back into the cab, pulling out her rifle, a feminine voice yelling. "We got her weapon, Dwight's too!"
"Where's Dwight?" Kristina asked, looking around for her boyfriend as her eyes followed the trail of glass and blood, before she just broke down. A pained wail came as she cried out. "No! No, Dwight!"
Following her line of sight, Lee gasped quietly at the sight of Dwight's body smeared across the pavement, his blood trailing behind him in a long line before pooling underneath his corpse. He laid face-down, his head covered in blood, the red liquid staining his clothes. Staring at it, unable to think clearly, Lee didn't see Kristina attempt to move to her boyfriend's body, being stopped by the guards as she shook her head. "Please, please, he needs me! Please, help him! Dwight! Dwight, can you hear me?!"
"His head's completely bashed in, he ain't gonna hear you." Tess scolded, unsympathetic as Kristina gave up, falling to her knees as Lee kneeled beside her, glaring at the female guard whilst the grieving widow just sobbed to herself. Walter watched this, moving towards Kristina to console her too, whilst Tess glanced behind them, a smirk on her face as she chuckled. "The boss is here."
Lee's blood ran cold, his eyes moving from Kristina to the approaching Carver, his frame towering over the three. Glancing around, he saw the group freeze up like a deer in headlights, none of them knowing what would happen, his eyes falling on Omid and Christa's hands intertwined with each other's. Despite his shorter stature, the former moved further in front of his girlfriend protectively, staring at Carver as the leader stopped short of his wall of guards, glaring around as he watched Ellie and Alex on the floor, the former staring up defiantly at him. After only a few moments of nerve-wracking silence, his voice echoed coldly as he demanded. "Where do you people think you're going?"
No one answered his question, instead just watching in fear. Lee felt Sarah grab hold of his jacket, shuffling closer to protect her from their leader's wrath, and watched helplessly as Lilly pushed herself off Joel, ignoring his attempts to help her. Limping forward slightly, her voice was pained as she gasped. "B-Bill, I-"
She was silenced by Bill raising his hand, ignoring her pleas as he continued. "I gave you people a home, food in your bellies, and safety behind these walls. No longer having to look over your back for walkers, or worse, and this is how you repay me? By causing disturbance amongst my people, by insulting my hospitality, by stealing!? Where is the medicine?"
Sarah crouched lower at the question. Lee noticed this, his grip tightening even more on her ski jacket whilst she clung to him, his eyes quickly flashing down at her before settling back on Carver. After it became apparent no one was going to spill, Carver quickly lost his cool as he shouted. "Where the FUCK is the medicine!?"
Once again, no one spoke, unwilling to rat their friends out. Knowing this, Bill ran a hand over his face, calming himself down as he coldly explained. "Fine, then. If none of you will talk, we'll have to get answers the hard way."
With that, the guards moved from in front of him, allowing the group to see another survivor dragging a body towards them. Lee squinted in confusion for a moment, watching as the body was thrown to the ground, their face down on the ground, before their hair was gripped painfully and wrenched upwards, exposing them to the group. Nick gasped, moving forward as Tess held her gun out, his voice distressed as he called out. "Luke!"
His face was beaten badly, his lip split with blood dried in his stubble and shirt, and cuts and bruises littering his exposed skin. With his hands tied behind his back, the young man was thrown back on the floor, a foot landing on his back as Carver explained, his voice gravelly. "This isn't how we do things here at Howe's. You follow the rules, earn your place, and you live an alright life than you would out there. But you people decided you didn't like the rules, that they don't apply to you, and this is unacceptable. I can be a patient man, but my patience has ran out. Punishments are in order, and they'll be worse if someone doesn't come forward with the medicine."
Sarah twitched, almost deciding on revealing herself to be the thief when Lee's hand clamped on her arm, their eyes locking for a second as he silently warned her. She frowned, turning back to see Luke glancing up at them, his face pained and eyes pleading for someone to help. With no response, Carver glanced down at the young man, his own son, and kneeled down, his voice low and harsh as he snapped. "I thought I could have trusted you. My own son, and you betrayed us, again."
"I would try over and over, if it meant I could get away from you." Luke spat venomously, yelping out as the guard with their foot on his back moved away, kicking him violently in the side. He yelled out when they did it again, Nick trying to rush to his rescue as Tess held him back, his voice desperate as he pleaded with them. "Bill, that's enough! He's had enough!"
"This is what happens when you break the rules. The medicine that you stole, that our people desperately needs, this is the punishment for it." He snapped, glancing at Luke as he raised his hand to stop the guard, the latter obeying and moving away from the groaning hostage. Slowly, the leader turned his head over to Ellie and Alex, moving towards them as the former held her sibling protectively, his head resting on her shoulder as she cradled him.
Kneeling down, Carver's voice was low as he accused her. "The medicine taken woulda helped Alex a lot, especially with the pain. You had to get him out of Jack's office, and that would have been the perfect time to swipe some of our shit for yourselves. Now, I'm gonna give you a chance to confess, Ellie. Where is it?"
Leaning closer to his face, Ellie kept her cold glare as she pronounced her words. "Get fucked."
"Now, that ain't very polite." He replied dryly, matching her glare in intensity as he growled. "I'm going to give you one last chance, and I'd think very hard on what you say next."
"I ain't saying nothing!" She defied him, holding her head high as he stood back up. "If you're gonna shoot me, go ahead."
"No." That made her raise an eyebrow, confused as Carver moved away, signalling to his guards to close in on her and Alex. With her brother suddenly wrenched from her arms, the boy couldn't do anything but weakly call out his sister's name, stretching his arm to try to reach her. Ellie was held back as she fought desperately to save him, yelling loudly as the tyrant added. "I'm gonna hit you where it really hurts."
"Please, no!" she snapped, fighting viciously against the guards' grips, her eyes wide as Alex was thrown unceremoniously by Carver's side. Coughing loudly, he tried to move, to look around and figure out through the haze what was about to happen, and Lee kept a tight hold on Sarah as she screamed. "Carver, stop!"
"You were all fine with throwing people's lives away by stealing, innocent lives! I'm simply returning the favour." Snatching one of the guns from Tess, Carver pointed it at the injured man, watching as Lee fought to keep Sarah from running to his aid, feeling the panic set in as he looked around for help. Staring up at him, the young teen was given a stern look from the adult to try and get her to keep quiet, unsure on what Carver would do to her if he found out.
After a moment of silence, and it becoming clear that no one would still talk, he sighed, lowering his gun slightly. Lee thought for those few seconds before speaking, deciding that if someone was going to pay for this plan, it had to be him. However, before he could even open his mouth, the gun was raised once more, and the leader coldly finished his rant. "The rules have to be followed."
A bang rang through the air. Echoing, it was quickly followed by Ellie's heartbroken screams. "NO!"
Lee was paralyzed. His eyes stared at the bleeding corpse of Alex, a bullet wound bleeding profusely from his chest, pooling underneath his body as he just laid there. He couldn't turn away, and spotted Ellie breaking free from the guard's grip as she ran to her brother's corpse, kneeling down beside him as she shook him. "Why? Why would you do this?!"
"This is just the beginning. Things will get worse until someone gives me what I want!" Carver addressed the group, looking around. Sarah started to panic more, her breathing quickening as she tried to calm herself, sweat rolling down the side of her forehead as she dropped the blood stained fabric she kept pressed to it. Lee knew that she would eventually crack, and tried his best to calm her when Carver snapped, looking at Omid and Christa and how the woman defensively held him close to her. "Grab the pregnant bitch's boyfriend."
"No! Pleas-!"
"It was me!" Sarah screamed, catching everyone's attention and freeing herself from Lee's grip, falling forwards before catching herself. Standing on her feet, she ran up to Carver, tears streaming down her face as she confessed. "It was me. I took the medicine. Please, don't do this."
Carver's hand stilled, his eyes piercing into Sarah's as she couldn't hold his gaze anymore, staring at the floor with her hand slowly pointing to the opened back of the van. "In a bag, it's tied to the gurney. The medicine is in there."
Gesturing to one of the guards, he stood there whilst they went off and retrieved the stolen goods. The group just stood there in shock, all of them staring at the young teen who could barely move her eyes from the floor, her hand holding onto her upper arm whilst the leader just placed his free hand on her shoulder, his gun still pointing to the injured Alex. With a softer tone, he praised her. "Well done, Sarah. It takes courage to own up to what you done, to be honest."
The last bit felt like it was directed to Lee, his eyes narrowing as he was powerless for what Carver said next. "Your friends should take a lesson from you in honesty. They have been very bad as of late."
"What do you mean?" she asked, wary of him as she backed away. "I don't understand."
"They've lied to you, ever since they met you actually, and Lee over there," he paused, turning Sarah around so she was staring at a distraught Lee. "Well, let's say he's been the main culprit."
"If this is about the escape, I don't care, I just wanted to find my dad! I swear, I'm sorry for stealing the medicine!" she tried to apologize, shaking uncontrollably as his grip on her shoulder tightened.
"It's convenient that Carlos is out there, just waiting for you, right Lee?" Carver mocked, smirking as Lee shook his head, anger flashing over his face.
"Carver, don't!" Lilly tried to snap, her voice weak yet stern.
Lee was unable to move as he just turned to Sarah. "Don't listen to a word he says Sarah. He just wants to turn you against the group, he can't be trusted!"
"I can't be trusted?! After all the lies you fed her, giving her false hope?! I told you to behave yourself otherwise there'd be trouble, and now it's too late to turn back." With that, the leader straightened, and released his grip on the young Sarah, his voice cold as he finally revealed. "Your father isn't coming back, Sarah."
She froze, her face stuck on confusion whilst she tried to figure out what he meant by that. Moving back slowly, she slowly came to realisation as Carver pressed on. "Carlos was attacked and he told you to run. Before he could find you again, he perished, and Lee knew it all along."
"Lee?" she called out, staring straight at him as she pressed. "Is this true?"
He tried to find the words, wanting to deny it all and try to keep her protected, but it was too late. Carver revealed it all, and he could only hang his head in shame as he finally confessed. "I did it to protect you!"
"I-I thought I could trust you!" she yelled, her hands balling into fists as tears resumed falling down her face, her breathing heavy as the gravity of the truth finally hit her. "Daddy… No. No, no, NO!"
Her hands moved to the sides of her head and she broke down, bursting into violent sobs as she shook her head, moving away from Nick before the man could go and comfort her. Lee tried to stand, to move towards her and help her through this, but the look of utter betrayal made him stop in his tracks. Sarah stood there, staring at him with a broken face before she just ran, rushing towards the ajar gates and slipping through, ignoring Lee's or the other's yells for her to come back, one guard holding Nick back as he tried to go after her, calling out her name, Tess holding Lee at gunpoint in case he tried to do the same. Carver watched this all, smug about what he had just done. He listened as one of the guards and the wall called out. "I have her in sight! Do I shoot her?"
"No." he rejected, staring at Lee as he continued. "Don't waste your bullets. She'll be dead a day out there, anyway."
Despair washed over him, his face broken as he just gave up, standing there as Carver continued to address them. "Now, this is what's gonna happen. You people will be worked harder than you've ever had in your lives, and don't think you'll get the same meals like before! That ship has sailed. Lilly, Kristina and Ellie, all of you will be tossed into the Pen with the rest of them, as punishment for breaking our trust."
The guards started corralling the group back towards the main building, some of the people going to push the van out of the way to get the gate fixed, and Lee only listened as Carver ordered Tess. "Get Nathaniel. Have him fix the gate by the morning to stop anyone from sneaking in or out."
"Will do, Bill." With that, she left the scene, walking to the back of the compound to enter through the loading bay, most likely to grab Nathan and close the shutters again. Lee watched her leave, before he was pushed by the guard behind him violently, silently told to keep moving. As they got closer, he heard Carver finish his orders.
"Your punishments will start tomorrow."
Carver was not lying. When the group was taken back to the Pen, it was only hours before sunrise came, the sky bathed in greens, yellows and blues. The group were distraught, most of them sitting around pitying themselves over the situation, whilst Ellie just moved away and laid down on one of the beds, her back to the rest of the group as she mourned her brother, Walter sitting next to her as he consoled her. Lee on the other hand, ignored his friends, Lilly, everyone, and stood by the fence that showed the rest of the world outside. Any sight of Sarah was gone, and he felt his heart tighten at the thought of having lost her too. No matter what he did, he was just a failure.
When the guards came back for them, they were given scraps, pieces of leftover bread and cold stew from last night, the carrots and such having dissolved to form a uniform brown soup. Once they had eaten, they were all taken to different places, and Lee, along with Omid, were stuck with Tess. He paid little attention to the jabs and insults she hurled at him, unable to feel any lower than he did at that moment, and his interest only perked up when he noticed he was being taken to the gate. Confused, he stood there, watching as Tess, holding a couple of large axes, her rifle taped to her back, was conversing with one of the gate guards. Glancing at it, he saw that the van had been pushed to the far end of the wall, no doubt unable to be pushed further without the wheels, and the gate was quickly mended as best as it could, a large dent in the metal framework shaped like the crashed vehicle.
All eyes were on him, the guards up on the wall watching him like hawks, and he couldn't slink away from them as he was forced outside. Pushed, he was forced to keep walking as Tess snapped. "Come on, asshole."
"Where are we going?" he asked, nervousness settling in his stomach as he continued walking. Tess ignored his question, instead leading him to a forested area to the side of the compound, the giant wall separating them from the people inside. Unsure, an axe was forced in his hands, and Omid was given one as well.
"What are we meant to be doing here?" Omid asked, glancing around as he pointed out. "This place isn't exactly the safest."
"That's the point. You two will start clearing out the forest here to make more room for the greenhouse. Bill's letting more people into the compound to make up losses, and that means more food." She explained, leaning against the wall as she snapped. "So get chopping."
It was not safe out there. Lee could have sworn he heard walkers growling in the background, glancing around nervously as he was forced to begin chopping a large tree, making sure he didn't chop the trunk in a way that it would fall on the wall. Omid helped him, and after a while the first tree was tumbling down, the sound echoing through the forest. Glancing back, he noticed Tess' bored expression as she yawned, not even bothering to watch out for walkers, but she kept one eye trained on the two survivors, ehr rifle ready to shoot if they even attempted to run.
"Are you alright, man?" Omid muttered, keeping his voice low to avoid incurring the guard's wrath. "About last night… I'm sorry about Sarah."
"She could be in trouble, or dead, and it's all my fault. I failed her." Lee confessed, carrying work on another tree. Omid seemed sympathetic, offering a trying smile in hope that it would help his friend, but they both knew about their situation. It would only get worse. Looking off into a direction, he noticed walkers shuffling in the distance, moving straight for them because of the noise. With a saddened expression, he prepared himself for a fight, and couldn't help but fear for the young girl lost out there in the world, no one there to help her.
Sarah, I'm sorry.
#twdg#twdg lee#twdg sarah#twdg nick#twdg luke#twdg christa#twdg omid#twdg lilly#twdg carver#tablesturned#story#au
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EMINEM - DARKNESS
[2.20]
We’ve come to talk about Em again...
Alfred Soto: Good lord -- an Eminem single called "Darkness," surprised yet? The Simon and Garfunkel interpolation and sound effects come off as cheap contexualizing for the sake of a bait-and-switch in which Em unmasks himself as Stephen Paddock. With critics paying renewed attention to the complexity of his flow, it's also worth stressing that ability tethered to self-pity deserves scorn. [4]
Brad Shoup: I swear to Christ I saw the title and knew he was gonna interpolate Simon and Garfunkel. But I also knew he and Royce were making their own "Six Feet Deep," and I was way off. Turns out it's a creative-writing assignment designed to keep the grader's pen dangling forever. What do you do with something detailed so painstakingly and painfully? The parallels Em draws are clever enough linguistically. (Has any song ever flattered Genius annotators more?) But the only ones that feel legit involve substance abuse. This is a megalomaniacal idea presented bashfully -- I should be grateful he isn't trying to do voice acting -- and framed thoughtlessly. The gunshots and screams are ghoulish enough without considering how the rest of his catalog uses them as cartoon gags. A fantastically bad idea that I will be thinking about for at least as long as the song's excruciating runtime. [5]
Kylo Nocom: Em forces the audience to endure his balladry, only to reveal that they were, like, empathizing with the Las Vegas shooter the entire time! The set-up is... intriguing (to call it "well-executed" feels like making another lame pun he'd squeeze in) yet it still sucks in many ways that don't even require public moral outcry: the sound effects spoil the twist way too early, his singing burps out remnants of emo rap, the beat samples fucking Simon & Garfunkel, and I still hate the sound of this guy's voice doing anything. To write any more on this feels like losing a game that Eminem will win -- a point he makes annoyingly often and remains true. But it's a shame that something meant to be poignant from the guy comes out as weak shock humor. [3]
Julian Axelrod: In theory, I'm not mad that Eminem is still trying to pivot to Social Commentary Anthems. I guess I'd rather hear him use his platform to wrestle with knotty issues than peddle stale punchlines about killing Honey Boo Boo or whatever. But what's really frustrating is Eminem's refusal to drop his gimmicks when it matters. You can't make a song about real life survivors and reference Saturday Night Fever. You can't condemn gun violence at festivals and condemn festival-goers concerned about gun violence. And regardless of the subject matter, you cannot punctuate a belabored alcohol-as-gun metaphor by muttering "Double entendre" like a sadistic, self-satisfied SparkNotes. That's the worst part: No one outside of Eminem's stanbase will be swayed by this, and very few within it will either. When will his reign of terror end? When no one cares. [0]
Isabel Cole: Oh, fuck you: for being tacky enough to open a limp-pulsing track called "Darkness" with a phrase that's been memed into meaninglessness and then marrying it to our particular American plague so that I feel irrationally bad about dismissing it with a flippant joke. But, fine, Eminem has put on his (boring, ill-fitting) big boy clothes, so let's do this. Being a grown-up, like being an artist, means being accountable for your choices, beginning with not just the choice to rap from the perspective of a mass shooter (although it's hard to imagine a level of artistic merit or political efficacy that would justify that decision), but specifically the choice of this shooter, this tragedy. It's easy to imagine why this particular incident would call to Eminem, from the infamy of the body count to the anxiety he must feel about the possibility of a similar event striking one of his own audiences. In choosing a mass murderer who remains so enigmatic, Eminem gets to dwell in the alleged mystery of violence, emphasizing its senselessness even to those who commit it. But it's more than the scale that makes that massacre unusual (although the scale also bears on the irresponsibility of his selection: come on, dude, how can you profess concern and not see yourself laying the groundwork for some other asshole to think "if I kill enough people someone famous will write a song about me?"); the perpetrator had no known history of domestic violence, but the majority of such men do. You can't talk about American violence without talking about American misogyny, and selecting a narrative that enables you to avoid the connection between the two marks you as someone with nothing to contribute to the conversation; implicitly generalizing this genderless narrative by layering news audio clips of shooting after shooting brings it from stupid to evil, emphasizing the pervasive danger of American culture now that men are dying too. This is of course particularly galling coming from goddamn Eminem, who has profited so handsomely from the commodification of violence against women. Galling partly because it retroactively dims whatever insights on the topic he may have laid claim to: rather than the inscrutable, almost mystical lost soul portrayed here, most of these men are something more like the narrator of "Love the Way You Lie" plus a couple years on the wrong parts of Reddit. He could have chosen to bridge that gap for his long-time listeners, to make the connection between hating the bitch who ruined your life and being self-centered enough to want to watch the world burn, but he didn't. Making me wonder what exactly he thought he was rapping about all those years, if he finds this form of violence so novel. [0]
Will Rivitz: I see Lin-Manuel's done away with his orchestra's string section. [2]
Andy Hutchins: The distance between "Hi, kids! Do you like violence? / Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails through each one of my eyelids?" and a three-verse double entendre that doesn't exactly strain itself to not sympathize with one of history's most nefarious mass murderers is not as far as one should probably walk in 20 years of life. A less clever rapper would not have found as many ways firearms buttress our vernacular; a cleverer one might have made this song about that instead of a five-minute trigger warning. A wiser one wouldn't have attempted this at all: Noble though the aim may be, there is no target audience here. [3]
Will Adams: Eminem stepping into the mind of a mass shooter is not surprising. Punctuating said narrative with in media res sound effects (shower curtains! pill bottles! loading clips! screams!), turning "The Sound of Silence" into a Talkboy sample, and making this shit five and a half minutes long? That takes extra chutzpah. [2]
Katherine St Asaph: I suspect the efforts to prevent copycat shootings were doomed ages ago, if not after Columbine then definitely after Rodger. Even if every mass shooter permanently closed off his chosen inspiration to all future comers, there are still enough sprees strewn throughout history -- hell, just through this millennium -- to produce years of trauma; and even if every media outlet declined to report shooters' names or manifestos, all of that would still circulate on chans and Discords (where they probably originated anyway) that any given proto-shooter is far more likely to read than the Associated Press, and infinitely more likely to trust. It's a failure of imagination: far easier to high-mindedly decline to acknowledge shootings than to reckon with them, to dissect and understand what makes them happen and more importantly what doesn't, and thus learn how to stop them. As a certain folk duo sang, silence like a cancer grows -- which brings us to Eminem's "Sound of Silence"-sampling, presumably cautionary foray into the Vegas shooter's mind. If your average caustic millennial isn't reading the mainstream news, he's definitely not listening to Eminem in 2020, and yet "Darkness" crumples under the burden of needing to not inspire anyone. The rapping is low-energy, the rhymes distractingly stiff or goofy -- trigger/convictions, booze/snooze -- the flow lumbering and often just bad. Where Disturbed heightened "The Sound of Silence" to Game of Thrones grandeur, Em and Royce -- perhaps building on a popular mashup -- desiccates it. The arrangement is the midpoint of Alex da Kid and "Teardrop": a smothering quicksand, meant to drag listeners into inertia and keep them there. (For all the gunshots-and-cussing masculinity of this, the piano loop reminds me most of Sarah Brightman's cover of "Scarborough Fair": delicately hypnotic.) Eminem conveys neither Slim Shady's glee nor "Love the Way You Lie"'s visceral anger, nor much but a morose slog, but give him this: It is mostly impossible to imagine someone hearing "Darkness" and buying a gun. Mostly. Why, if you're aiming not to inspire, would you musically accompany the killing-spree verse by finally moving past line two of "The Sound of Silence," to where the melody gratifyingly blooms upward? The vodka bottles in the video -- the lyrics' metaphorical gun, shown in appealing product-placement close-up -- are thankfully fake prop brands -- but then why do the close-ups at all? Most tellingly, Eminem chooses one of the few shooters with no manifesto to disseminate and few known motivations. Whether that's out of a desire to avoid spreading the truly hateful shit (which would be a recent development), to avoid the issue in general, or just to play the guy with the biggest body count, it means he gets away with lines like "you'll never find a motive, truth is I have no idea" instead of engaging with the specific kind of nihilism shooters are all too happy to tell you about -- a nihilism that is, in some part, his creation. When will this end? When enough people care what "this" is. Begrudging point for the part where, after Eminem says "magazines," the video cuts to actual magazines, like the glossy paper kind: the best trolling he's done in years, specifically of the sort of gunfuckers who were already halfway through a comment about him saying "clips." I suppose it's not the bleakest way he's made people laugh. [3]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: At one point Eminem had the capacity to make jokes. He's way funnier here, his faux-double entendres and sampha-soundalike Simon and Garfunkel interpolation adding up to something so maudlin and obvious that it's almost impossible to listen to as serious political rap. It's not even disgusting. [0]
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