#trying to stir the scrambled eggs like it's a witches cauldron
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How tiny does Caleb want to get? Smaller than Trevor?
Nah. I don't think Caleb would want to get that small. I figured if he'd love to be action figure size which would put him at around 5-6 inches. Small enough to be hand held. Not too small to have any meaningful interaction with the world around him.
#ask ziel#the little spoon q&a#I'm totally not already imagining him trying to cook Felipe breakfast while being less than half a foot tall#standing over a “small” skillet thats the size of a kiddie pool to him#trying to stir the scrambled eggs like it's a witches cauldron#having to hoist a slice of bread onto his back so he can yeet it up onto the toaster then load it into the slot#leap off and grab the lever on his way down to start it cooking#if he wasn't yoked before#he sure will be after a few weeks of that
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Negotiating with Giants: A Love Story
(This is a GT story, no vore, but mind the content warnings. it’s also more of a lore dump adventure, but it includes a love story in there somewhere)
This crazy adventure tells the tale of how Emmett (a human fire witch) meets and falls in love with Maya (a giant, ranger). And what an adventure it is! It’s got magic, it’s got dragons, it’s got schemes made by evil wizards! I pulled out all the stops!
Content warnings/description: This story contains no sexual content! The pair is F/m, but i wouldn’t label it as “giantess”. Especially since there are a lot of giants in this story. While this story doesn’t contain any proper vore it does mention the evil wizards being eaten a few times, fatally. And by mention i mean “the wizard was eaten”. This makes it less vore-ish than the actual Enchanted Forest Chronicles, which is the children’s fantasy book series that I base the world of Mystic Woods on. And it’s only evil people, so they deserved it.
(you do not need to know who Emmett, Maya, or their son Yonah are to read this, they are my OCs!)
.
.
This is not a story that will have a surprise ending, only a surprising journey to get there.
It was your average day in the Ha’Esh household, located in a average village on the outskirts of the Blue Woods Tribe (your average Mountain Giant Tribe)’s territory. And the day would continue to be average, the family left undisturbed, the world around them still intact.
---
For all these things that were average, the Ha’Esh family itself was not one of them. There were three members, a mother, a father, and a son. The mother, Maya, was a giant. Not out of the ordinary for someone who is a member of a tribe of giants. The father, Emmett, however, was a fire witch. Not everyone in the tribe was a giant, but it’s rare for non-giant members to form family units with the giant ones. Their union meant their son, Yonah, was half giant and half fire witch. Though if one were more accurate, Yonah was closer to half human, having inherited little of his father’s fire witch traits.
At the time of this story, Yonah is 10 years old, and in a curious mood.
He had gotten up early, made his bed, and headed outside to collect eggs from the dire-ostritch s. Meant to be kept by True Giants, these birds were large for a half giant, and at his age, their heads were at his chest. But he was their friend, and they clucked as he entered the coop, bucket of feed over his head. It was cushioned upon his mass of curly, ink black hair.
“Alright you ostriches, who's hungry?” he cried, as if to pump up a crowd at a rock concert.
They all backawed loudly, and pavlovianly. Yonah stepped aside as they all hopped out of their nesting spots to run outside. Once everyone was out, Yonah stood in the doorway, and looked down the ramp at all the ostrich s looking back at him.
3
2
1
He thrust forward to launch the contents of the bucket outward and pandemonium ensued. Yonah used a bit of simple magic to create small gusts of wind to carry the feed all over the paddock, so the ostriches went in all directions. The thing is, they go after the first piece of feed they see, not the one easiest to get to, and they were running into each other, bouncing off each other’s plump plumage. Some would fall over and act as if it was the end of the world for all of 3 seconds before spotting another piece of food and forgetting their plight
Quickly, yonah switched the bucket for a basket and ducked back inside the coup. Dire-ostritches, even domesticated ones, don’t lay every day, usually once every week or so, which Yonah was thankful for. The amount each day was usually about the amount he could safely carry without breaking the eggs or dropping the basket.
By then the ostriches were pecking at the remains of their meal, and Yonah shepherded them back into the coup, attracting them with a treat, mainly old dried fruits and fairly old jerky that would have had to been thrown away. Basket on his head, empty bucket in his hand, he headed back inside the house.
“Ah, Yonah, you are up early today!” his mother exclaimed as he entered the kitchen and handed off the eggs to her. He barely came up to her knees. She placed the basket on the kitchen counter and picked up her son, placing him next to the basket.
This was of course, Maya, Yonah’s mother. Just over 40ft tall, skin a nice grey-ish blue, strongly built, and absolutely no hair on her head. Giants don’t have much body hair, at least, not anywhere normally visible to the public eye. They do have large pointed ears. Yonah inherited the large ears, but they weren’t pointed.
“I don’t have breakfast ready yet, but you are welcome to keep me company” she said. She pointed to the cauldron in the fireplace, which was boiling steadily with a sweet smelling porridge.
Then a large BOOM was heard outside, though far away. Maya sighed, Yonah laughed softly.
“Never mind that, could you go check on your father, make sure he hasn’t blown himself up?”
Yonah hopped off the counter and went to go find his dad. He had a work area on the side of the house opposite from the ostrich's, so as not to scare them, or end up as collateral damage. It was also where his father’s garden was, again, away from the ostriches. There was no telling what could happen if they ate any of the magical plants. This boom however, did not come from so close by, his father must be out in the forest this time.
The second BOOM provided Yonah with a direction, and he ran towards it. He didn’t smell any smoke, which meant his father wasn’t setting the forest on fire.
When he found his father, he was unconscious, next to a large boulder, that felt like faint sparkles were coming off. The remnants of a magic spell.
“Dad!” Yonah cried out, running to his dad’s side, and sitting him up. His skin was very hot, he had just produced a lot of magic.
Emmett stirred and looked up at his son, and smiled. Yonah breathed a sigh of relief. His dad was ok.
“What happened?” Yonah asked.
“‘What happened’? No, ‘are you ok?’ or ‘i’m glad you’re still alive’?” Emmett sneered.
Yonah rolled his eyes, “You’re obviously fine,” he said, still holding his father up.
“Well, I’ll be fine, I just overdid it, a bit,” he said, coughing hard.
“Can you walk on your own?” Yonah asked.
Emmett tried to stand up, but was very unsteady, “I think my boy, that you will have to carry your old man back. Sorry.”
“Only if you tell me what you were doing.” said Yonah.
“Deal,” Emmett was going to tell him anyways, he always did.
Yonah picked up his father’s limp form and place him on his shoulders. Emmett was strong enough to hold on, as long as Yonah held his legs.
“I’ve been working on a teleportation spell,” said Emmett, as they headed back.
“But you already know how to teleport!” said Yonah. He’d seen his father do it, bursting into flames and vanishing, only to reappear within a week, after he had completed whatever he had gone off to do.
“That is correct, but this is to teleport your mother,” he said, “Teleportation of one’s self is relatively easy for a fire witch, it’s mostly verbal and pushing my own magic into the goal. However, teleportation for regular people is difficult, it involves a lot of set up. Marking up the ground with magic to form your transport matrix. Teleporting others with you needs more magic, more prep, to compensate for the area the spell is going to effect and, and the number of bodies. If the other person is over 40 feet tall, the design needs to be altered almost entirely. I was practicing on that boulder. I had no trouble teleporting it away, and myself with it, but it still took a lot out of me. More than I realized. When I teleported it back, I, well you know, you found me shortly after.”
With his son’s interest in magic, Emmett never tried to simplify explanations.
“You passed out from exhaustion!” said Yonah. It didn’t happen often, fire witches were veritable fonts of magical energy. This must be one big spell.
“Exactly,”
However, Not everything made sense to Yonah, “But, giants can teleport themselves, cant they? Couldn’t mother learn and take you with”. Yonah knew that you always took what you were holding when teleporting.
“They don’t really need to, they can go pretty fast on foot. Some mages learn how, but your mother’s no mage. If we’re gonna travel someplace far, we’ve always walked. Or rather, she walked, and carried me,”
Yonah stopped, “Are, are you going somewhere?” he asked, his voice shook, “Are you leaving me?!” Was this how he was going to find out?
“Oh, oh gods, no, Yonah, of course not, we’d never leave you!” Emmett assured him, “this is just in case we want to travel someday, like take a vacation. Your mother’s been living in the mountains her whole life, she’s barely left, only to make trips into the Mystic Woods. I thought she might want to see more of the world.”
Realization dawned on him. “This is a present for mother!” he said.
“That’s right, but it’s not ready, so don’t tell her. I’m going to tell her I tried to turn a tree into gold or something,” said Emmett.
“Ok, it will be our secret!” said Yonah, and he nearly skipped back home. His father bouncing up and down on his shoulders, squishing into his hair.
—
“What on the gods earth were you trying to do, Emmett?” Maya asked, worried but not without exasperation.
She had placed Emmett in an armchair, on the kitchen table, sitting herself on a stool. Yonah sat on her lap, but to be tall enough to be a part of the conversation, he had to be on his knees. Breakfast was ready, porridge and scrambled eggs. Emmett was feeling well enough by then to use a fork and spoon.
“Magical exhaustion mama!” said Yonah, “it happens to the best of us”
“Oh, and when has it happened to you? When have you done such reckless magic?” Maya looked sternly at her son.
“I- I havent, I just mean,” Yonah tried to recover, but his mother just tousled his hair.
“You’re going to be a fine mage someday, but please be careful,” she said, “as for you” she looked back at her husband, who had just put a spoonful of porridge in his mouth.
“You still haven’t told me what you were doing!”
Yonah dearly wished he could telepathically communicate with his dad. Emmett choked, and stuttered, he had forgotten what he was going to say. Yonah had to, but they could at least have had a contingency plan. Then it came to him. He had an Idea™.
“Mom?” said Yonah, in his sweetest voice, “Dad?”
“What is it honey?” said Maya, as Emmett wiped porridge from his shirt.
“How did you and dad meet?”
There was a long silence, Yonah’s parents looking from him, to each other. Internally, Yonah was bursting with pride, the perfect distraction! And also, maybe he was finally going to hear the story.
“Havent, Havent we told you?” said Maya.
Yonah crossed his arms, “you said he saved you from an evil wizard, but that’s it, there’s gotta be more to it than that.”
“Oh there’s a lot more,” said Emmett, and his wife shot him a death glare.
“Come on dear, it’s a good story, i Don’t know what you’re saving it for, some special occasion? Why not now? In any case, I’m too weak to do anymore work today.”
“No, you’re right,” she said. And cleared her throat.
“Well, it all started because, well because I picked a fight with the wrong wizard…”
—
I was on a border patrol, had been for days, and nothing was out of the ordinary. New dire-eagle nests, would have to watch out they don’t steal any cattle. When I came across a wizard. He was, doing something in the forest, which was very suspicious. It took me a second to realize why he set off my alarm bells.
He was not in the garb of an academy wizard, but the two-color robes of a society wizard. The Society of Wizards, as you know, are never up to any good, always trying to further their hold on all magic in the world. And one was at the edge of the Mystic Woods, picking at the ground with his staff, with magic shooting out every minute or so.
Being the amazing ranger that I am, I was able to sneak up on him, to a point, there is only so close I can get, even if I’m unheard. I tried to get him to tell me what he was doing but he wasn’t talking. I ate him of course, and I don’t know if that was a mistake, I doubt it would have changed much about what happened next.
Whatever the wizard had been doing, he had done it, before I got there. It wasn’t even a minute after I dealt with the wizard that The air became all gold and shimmering. I raised a hand up to my eyes to try and rub my vision clear, but i couldn’t, my hand stopped.
I stopped.
I was stuck, frozen, and the air still shimmered. The wizard had been setting a trap! And I had fallen in it. I screamed and screamed, at least i could still scream, my face was the only thing I could move. But no one was close by to hear, not even a talking animal. All I could do was hope the spell wore off or to be found before I died.
—
“AND FOUND SHE WAS! BY ME!” his father said with pride, interrupting Maya.
“There I was, minding my own business, just taking a stroll” said Emmett, more strength in his voice than the rest of his body.
Maya snorted in amusement.
“Ok fine, I was out looking for a good place to settle down, you know, build my witch hut, or tower, or castle. After looking through the Mystic Woods I decided that a magic forest setting wasn’t for me. But I saw the magical field and had to investigate! I walked into the field and what do I find? A giant!”
I had never seen a giant before, and this one was asleep standing up, and in what had to be a very uncomfortable pose. Well, I went right up to her feet and yelled up.
“Hello up there!”
—
I woke up to that yelling and I tried to look down. My eyes moved but my head didn’t, and I screamed. But soon the mysterious visitor backed up enough to be in my field of vision. It was a very strange looking man with bright red hair.
/”Excuse me!?”
“Dear you had the most awful haircut”
“fair”/
I demanded to know who he was, how he got here, and how he wasnt frozen like myself, though I had my theories. I was right too, he was a fire witch, of course the magic didn’t affect him. Fire witches are immune to most magic. But they are also very good at disrupting magic. After a we exchanged names and pleasantries, I kindly asked him to get me free.
/”you demanded it, and it was right after I told you my name”
“Fine, yes, I demanded it, I was three days stuck there, you try to keep cool”
“I never do that,”/
He refused! Said it wasn’t in his interest to help a giant! He couldn’t see the benefit for him, and one less giant around was one less thing to worry about. But, he would examine this trap, it was fascinating, something that could hold a giant in place.
As you can imagine, I wasn’t very happy about this. And this, this little man was just going to let me die where I stood! If I had any tears left they would have flowed from my eyes, but they had dried up a day ago, all I could do was watch as the little ass- jerk [Maya stopped herself from swearing in front of her ten year old son] slowly paced around me.
“Say, this looks like wizard magic,” he said after nearly half an hour! “And not Academy wizardry, Society work!”
“It is” I said, though he didn’t deserve to speak to me any longer.
“How do you know that!?”
“Because,” I said, “that’s how I got stuck here, I found a wizard, and he did this! I’ve been here for three fuc- freaking days!” I think I was willing to talk only so that I could keep my mind of my own impending death.
“Three- how are you still alive?” he asked me, and he was looking at me now, really looking.
“Well, I ate the wizard, that helped, but I’m not going to last much longer!” I was pleading, how demeaning it was.
All I could do was watch him pace back and forth, thinking about something. Eventually he spoke again.
“I hate those society types, they give my cousins across the sea nothing but trouble! Always after their magic. Tell you what, I’ll try to help you, and in return, I’ll need a favor.”
“Sure, what do you need?” I asked, I had hope again.
“Oh I don’t know, I just want a favor, which I will call in sometime in the future,”
Now Yonah, understand that under most circumstances you should never make deals with strangers, especially ones where there are no terms on what the person might request. But I was desperate, I was foolish. And you father knew that. And I accepted.
“Wonderful! Now let me see,” He cracked it knuckles and sat down.
From his backpack it removed all sorts of objects, eventually getting a knife, a little brush and a magnifying glass. He went up to one of the closest trees and scraped at the bark, investigating it more thoroughly than he had before. Then he put his finger up to it and there was a burst of light, I thought the tree might catch fire, but it didn’t, instead there was a puff of dark purple smoke.
“Success!” Emmett said from inside the cloud, and then he coughed violently.
I didn’t know what he was talking about, I was still stuck! Nothing had changed. But he went to another tree and did the same thing, with less smoke this time. And then he went to a rock, and again, a puff of smoke, again smaller than the last. Eventually the puffs of smoke were all the same size, but he kept going. By now I could feel something different, almost like something was lifting off of me, yet I couldn’t move.
/”I’ll explain this,” said Emmett. “You see, what it looked like at the time was the wizard had laid down a net, it really was a trap! I had to sever each line, one at a time with my magic”
Yonah nodded in partial understanding/
Finally he came up to me again, I couldn’t see him anymore because he was so close.
“Hey, um, sorry for what’s about to happen,” was all he said before there was a huge blast of smoke and a surge of heat by my feet.
And then I was on the ground. So was the fire witch, he had been blown back, and was groaning, but he was alive. I was kinda disappointed because it meant I was still bound to do him a favor.
“That should do it!” he said, springing up and dusting himself off.
“I- I’m free?” I tried to move. After three days, I was stiff, and it hurt, but I sat up and tried to do some stretches, it helped a bit.
“Sure are! Hey you wouldn’t know if there was any free land around? I’m looking to set up shop in the mountains! Maybe start with a hovel, someday a small fortress! evil stepmothers of nobility and the men’s auxiliary of uncles would send their step-children to me to be cursed, or given quests, I can make potions, just be a proper fire witch you know? Curse anyone who steps in my garden, plant magic things that will enchant you if you touch or eat them, that kind of thing!”
My head spun as he talked, but I managed to catch the gist, “is, this that favor you wanted?”
“Oh no no no, this kind of information is not favor worthy,” he said, and began gathering up his things which had been scattered by the force of the blast.
“It doesn’t matter, I don’t know. I patrol the lands but I don’t own them.”
“A pity, well I’ll be seeing you,”
It was then that I realized that I needed to get home, and it pained me to admit that I was probably too weak to do so, at least, unless I met no danger on my way. And I had to get home and warn the others about this wizard, and the trap. Society wizards are unofficially designated “kill on sight” because of their reputation. They are dangerous.
“Why don’t you come back to the village with me?”
“And why would I want to do that?” he asked, “Just go to a giant village? That’s not exactly smart”
“You said you were heading into the mountains, well that’s where the village is” I continued to explain that with me he’d be safe, and given food and a nice bed to rest before continuing on his journey. Hospitality is a rare find in the Implausible Mountains.
He stroked his beard, “You make a good point, I shall accompany you!”
With what little strength I had, I stood up, and I started walking, but Emmett did not follow.
“Hey, where are you going!?” he shouted at me.
I turned around, and he was just staring up at me expectantly.
“Aren’t you going to carry me?”
“Can’t you fly on a broom or something?” I spat back. Carry him! I’m not a courier.
“I don’t have a broom, and you should be glad of it! Do you think I would have walked into you if I could fly around on a broom?”
I had to admit, he was right. So I placed him upon my shoulder and headed home.
But, it wasn’t as simple as that. Running I could get back in a day, walking, 2 days. Walking at my weakened pace, who knows. I didn’t have any food on me either, and I was took weak to hunt. And your father, as talented as he might be with magic, he is no hunter. His fire magic would sooner burn the entire forest or scare off any animals than do any help.
It was the morning of the second day when, according do your dad, that I didn’t wake up.
—
Back then, (Emmett continued), I wasn’t really concerned with people other than myself. I considered just leaving her there. But, I couldn’t. Even without the promised favor, I couldn’t. I had come this far, I had kind of made a friend, we didn’t spend the last two days in complete silence. And it’s rare for fire witches to do that, make friends.
There was only one thing for me to do. I would go to the village myself! There I could tell some giants what had happened and they could get Maya. That was, if they believed me, and if they didn’t try to eat me, or capture me.
I was able to rouse Maya enough to get directions to the village.
We were closer than I had thought, but it still to me a day to get there, without stopping to sleep.
I wasn’t very coherent when I reached the village, and it was about midday. There weren’t many people walking around on the outskirts so I knocked on the first door I came across. Either no one was home, or my tiny knocks were too quiet. I tried another, still no luck. The third time I nearly got flung by the door opening. I shouted up.
And was told to f- buzz off or be killed, they don’t like strange humans in the village. Said I was lucky to get this one warning, the next person might not be so merciful.
Unable to get a word in before they walked off, I decided to just follow them. They eventually made it to the, well I generously call it the village square. It’s mostly a circular area in the center of the village with a well at the center. Going up to a random giant was clearly not the right approach, so thought of a way to get people’s attention.
First I went up to the well and got a few drops of water on my face to wake me up, and then I climbed to the top and stood on the roof of the well. I took a deep breath, and a second, and a third, and shot fire up into the air. Fire from my mouth, and my hands. It had to be big! It had to be grand and noticeable. And it was.
All traffic stopped and stared at me, I was out of breath but my hair was still fire and so I was still a beacon, even under the noonday sun. Soon the well was surrounded by giants, all eyes on me. I figured I should take the initiative here since time was of the essence.
“Attention giants! I have some important information! Please give me your eyes and ears!” I used a little spell to amplify my voice.
I paused, wanting to make sure they were listening, and it seemed like they were, if only because they were confused.
“One of your kind is in danger! She has collapsed out in the forest! I can lead you to her!”
A male giant stepped out of the crowd, he had some sort of armor on so i guessed he was a guard or something, but he came up close and looked me over. You know him, Evan, but this was years ago, if you think he looks strong now, imagine him in his prime.
“Can you now? Human, and why should we trust you? We can see you’re one of those fire witches, how do we know you aren’t trying to lure one of us out there to kill us, and use our body for your wicked spellcasting”
These giants weren’t stupid, but I had to convince them. “I, I know her name! It’s Maya, she was hurt by a wizard from The Society Please you gotta believe me, just let me take you too her”
Evan stroked his non-bearded chin, “For intruding on our peace we should kill you where you stand, but you look weary, and your voice conveys no falsehood,”
“Are you suggesting we follow him!?” came a voice from the crowd, I don’t recall who it was.
“What if it really is society wizards! It could still be a trap!” said another, who I do remember now that I think about it, it was Tola.
“It would be a very elaborate lie, such high reward but higher risk. I say he will lead us, under some conditions, which must be agreed to otherwise we will kill you,” Evan said, not taking his eyes from me even once.
Of course I agreed! I had to save Maya. But, I didn’t realize that they had an anti-magic cage built by a fire witch to hold other fire witches. I was completely at their mercy, but confident that since I was telling the truth, I would make it out of this alive.
“If you make any suspicious move, little witch, it will be your end,” was all the warning I got before being given the command to point them in the right direction. There were 4 giants in total with me, in addition to Evan there was Ozna, Regla, and Gibor, though I didn’t know their names at the time. Heh, if I went back in time and told myself that those four would be my drinking buddies someday, I would have thought I was crazy, or tried to wake myself up from the now obvious dream I was having.
Anyways back on track.
It was humiliating. Evan held me out in front of him like I was a lantern and he an old crypt keeper. I think at that point I wanted to be able to say “I told you so” to a bunch of giants, and to hear them apologize to me after we saved Maya.
We reached her in just a few hours, and remember it took me a day! The other three giants ran to gather Maya up to be carried back, she didn’t respond to their touching or moving her.
“There, you see, I was telling the truth, you can let me -” but Evan stuck his face close to the cage.
“Silence, witch, for all we know it was you and your fire magic that managed to fell someone as strong as Maya.” He spat at me, which was very rude.
But I couldn’t do anything in the anti-magic cage, even as angry as I was, my hair would only smoke! I was well and truly powerless. So I sat down and resigned myself to swinging around in the cage, which was now on Evan’s hip since I wasn’t needed to lead them back.
When we got back Maya was rushed to a healing house, and I was brought along, though I don’t know why.
I was placed on the floor beside the pad that Maya was placed on. Evan stayed by the door, watching me, as the healer asked me questions. You wouldn’t know her she, she was old even back then, but she was kind, if stern. I was tired, and angry, so we didn’t exactly get along at first.
“How long has she been like this?” she asked me.
“What does it matter!? I don’t really know!” I was, having trouble thinking, I kinda had not eaten or slept or had anything to drink for over a day.
“Think, how long?”
“Uh, four, maybe five days,” I said.
That was clearly a bad answer because she went straight to Evan and ordered him to go fetch some things.
I can’t pretend to understand what exactly was done, but I know that the healer managed to force feed Maya something, something that smelled awful, through some tube. And I know it was risky bc it took a while to set up.
I was also given food. Stale bread rhinds and old flat beer. So far, I wasn’t impressed with the hospitality that Maya had spoken of.
I did ask why I was being kept next to Maya, if they thought I was the one who hurt her. I was told that should she die, the last thing I should think about was the one I had killed. Justice i guess, it didn’t make much sense to me.
It took two days for Maya to wake up, and she was force fed the rank broth a few more times. But it must have done something.
—
It was like coming out of a fog. I didn’t know where I was, the last thing I remember was heading home, with, with a fire witch. I sat up and looked around, I was in the healing house, and next to me was a cage, and in the cage was.
“You!” I said, my voice was wispy, I picked up the cage. The fire witch was there, in the same clothes, but looking rather haggard.
“Yes it is I, Emmett, can you please let me out?” he said, standing up putting his face up to the bars, “I’ve been in this cage for almost three days!”
Thinking back I probably shouldn’t have, I didnt know why he was caged, but I opened it, and he hopped right out onto my hand. And Then I almost dropped him as his hair burst into flames!
“AHHHH! Free at last!” He cried triumphantly, “oh, sorry, got a little, excited” he said putting out his hair, though heat radiated off of him, it felt really nice as the warmth spread from him to my hands to my limbs and my entire body felt like it was being filled with energy. And clarity.
“Why on earth were you in that cage? What happened?”
He told me, his hair flaming up when he got to the the actual caging parts. But I was not burned. Unlike the others in the village, I believed him at his first words. There wasn’t really any other explanation for how I got home.
“So, little witch,” i said, “this is twice you have saved my life, I guess I owe you two favors now,”
/”It’s so much more endearing when you say it” said Emmett,
“What?”
“Little witch”/
“Ah, I mean,” his face was now the part of his head to turn red, “consider this one a freebie, but I’d better see that nice hospitality I was promised, so far the accommodations have been dreadful”
Now it was my turn to be angry. And I called out for the healer or any attendants that might be nearby. They rushed in, but as soon as they saw Emmett in my hands, they stopped.
Tired as I was, I gave them my most fearsome glare.
“How DARE you put this man in a cage, he’s a gosh darn hero!”
“We didn’t, Maya, that was Evan,” said one of the attendants.
“Then go get him!” I ordered, and one of them ran off.
After forcing Evan to apologize, sort of, I was told there would be a feast to celebrate my recovery. I of course demanded that Emmett be allowed to join, right before falling back asleep.
—
I was very worried they would put me back in that cage or throw me out the moment Maya couldn’t stop them, but they didn’t. Now that I wasn’t suspected of attempted murder, I was allowed to do as I wished, within reason. There wasn’t much I wanted to do, I did not know, let alone trust, any other giant in the village. I didn’t dare to even go for a walk. So I just stayed by Maya’s side.
Well, not the entire time, I did leave so I could wash myself and change my clothes after half a week of traveling and being stuck in a cage. I felt like a new man, and I put on my nicest robes in anticipation of the feast.
And if you were wondering, yes, your mother was also given a wash and fresh clothing.
Now, the feast itself. The food was, it was decent. Nothing fancy, but well spiced. About what you would expect for a feast that was prepared in half a day.
And it was held outside, with tables circling the well at the center of the village, lanterns were strung from the houses and held up on poles, everyone was talking, some people were singing, everyone was drinking. Now that I got to try the not-left-out-for-days-in-the-sun-beer, I got to try real giant’s beer. And the stories are true, it’s the best in the land. But, you’ll get to try it when you’re older. It was a good time, and no one threatened to eat me, not seriously, at least, I don’t think anyone did.
Maya had to tell the story of what happened so many times that by the end of the night she was hoarse, but after most people went off to bed, we were told to stay, Evan and a few other village leaders wanted to speak with us.
We were taken to Evan’s house. Maya took a seat at the table, and I stood on table itself, as close to Maya as possible. It wasn’t long before Evan walked in with three others, Ishka, Amir, and Adom. And we were asked to tell the story.
“Again? We’ve told it over twenty times today, I’ve counted,” I said.
“No, she has told it,” said Evan, referring to Maya, “Now we want to hear it from you, and don’t spare any detail about what happened.”
I didn’t think there was much for me to add since I had not been there when the wizard showed up, but they were very interested in how I figured out the net and how to get rid of it. Amir was the village’s most powerful mage. They wanted to know if it was hidden, if I thought only fire witch fire could break it, and if they could learn to spot them.
“Wait, you think there could be more?” I asked, and I looked to Maya, she hadn’t been paying much attention But now she looked fearful.
/”I was very tired”/
“It is pure speculation,” said Amir, “but where there is one society wizard, there are always others, and Maya only found the one. More wizards could mean more traps.”
“So what do you think we should do?” I asked.
““we”? Little witch, bold of you to assume you would remain with us much longer,” said Evan. I was about to respond but Maya spoke.
“Good luck destroying the traps without him, you said yourself you don’t know if it can be done without fire witch fire.”
Everyone was silent for a while, and I didn’t dare make suggestions, and to be fair, I didn’t have any. Then Ishka broke the silence.
“I’m less worried about the traps as I am about the wizards. If this is the beginning of an invasion, we can’t be caught off guard,” she said, “We need to start the Implausible Connection as soon as possible!”
That didnt mean jack shi-diddly to me, but I was tired and full of ale, so I didn’t inquire any further.
The others nodded, and Ishka continued “There’s the dragon lair close by, we could go tomorrow morning, but we should send a messenger to the nearest village tonight,”
“You don’t perhaps have mirrors? To, say, contact the village directly?” I asked.
Amir looked peeved at that comment, “no, we do not, that kind of magic has never been shared with us, you humans and other small folk keep it to yourselves.”
“Well, maybe after this we’ll get that set up,” I said, and Amir looked surprised, and then smiled at me. “That’s very generous, for a fire witch,”
“I’m not going to do it for free, or any of this, if you want my help I’ll want payment!” I said. I wasn’t interested in making a profit, but this would cost me a lot of time, energy, and supplies.
Adom glared at me and growled “we are prepared to compensate you, within reason, if you prove useful.”
The meeting concluded soon after that, and Maya and I went back to the healing house, she was still recovering, and needed to have as much strength as possible for tomorrow we would meet at least one dragon.
—
(Maya continues the story)
When we got to the dragon’s lair, it was empty. Well, as far as we could tell, so we sent Emmett in, dragons may be in length the same height as a giant, but they are smaller, and none of us could actually fit in the cave entrance, not without crawling.
But they weren’t home, that was made clear when we heard the screeching, and sneezing, behind us, and looked up to see the dragon diving towards us. They landed in front of the mouth of the cave and look at us, angry and surprised. Five horns, a male dragon. And he sneezed again.
“What are you giants doing here? This is dragon territory, explain yourselves,” his tail swished, and we saw that it was not pointed, the end had been cut off, and then the burned. The dragon was shaking, and bit of flame flicked out of his nose.
“They’re not home,” Emmett called from inside the cave, he was coming back, and the dragon jerked his head in Emmett’s direction.
“Thieves!! You brought a human to steal from me!”
Before any of could do something he released a blast of fire and we heard Emmett yelp.
“No, dragon, we are not thieves! We came to talk to you, wizards were spotted in the forest! We’ve come to invoke the Implausible Connection” Evan shouted over the screeches of the dragon.
The dragon stopped breathing fire and looked astonished, and was no longer in a rage. He sat up on his hind legs, curling his injured tail around to his underbelly, and cocked his head at Evan, and again, he sneezed.
“Wizards you say, Implausible Connection you say! Wish you had come sooner, I just met a wizard.” now that he wasn’t angry his voice was much softer, “I am very sorry about your human friend, wrong place at the wrong time, I hope you don’t hold his death against me,” he twitched his tail, a bit embarrassed at his mistake.
“I’m not dead!” Emmett called from the cave, coughing loudly, he staggered out into the light. His face was covered in soot, and his clothing was almost all gone, he was in burned rags and charred undergarments.
“I’m *cough* charging extra for the loss of my clothes,” he said to Evan, who rolled his eyes.
The dragon lumbered over on his hind legs to Emmett and put his snout near Emmett’s face.
“A fireproof human, how fascinating, unless,” and he growled deeply, “this is a trick, and you’re another wizard!”
“He’s not, he’s a fire witch” I said, as Emmett made his way back to me. I put him on my shoulder, for safe keeping. The dragon looked at me, narrowing his eyes.
“That would make more sense,” he said, “So, it seems as though we have both had encounters with wizards, before I tell my tale, I suggest you tell yours, if you think this is worth making the Connection”
We did, and he listened with wrapped attention and when I got to the part about being frozen the dragon snarled.
“Did you get trapped too? How did you get out?” I said, stopping the story.
The dragon looked to his tail, “I didn’t get trapped. I was flying off after chasing the wizard away and then it felt like I had been grabbed by my tail. I looked down, and there was nothing, but I could feel the magic there, dense and stringy. I didn’t dare go near it, but I could not hover forever. I bit off the end of my tail, cauterized it, and then flew here.”
We all exchanged glances, and we all were thinking the same thing. There were more wizards, and more traps. This was bad.
“And you are sure it was a Society Wizard? Not an Academic?” asked Evan.
The dragon snorted, “of course, didn’t you hear my sneezing? Not much can effect a dragon, but for some reason we seem to be allergic to Society Wizards.”
This was why the Implausible Connection was needed. It was the only way to warn everyone and unite the peoples of the mountain to solve the problem. It started with telling the dragons, who could fly fast than anyone could run or walk, to spread the word. This dragon was eager to get it started.
“Can you perhaps, take us to the one you were almost caught in?” said Emmett, as the dragon was about to take off.
“For what purpose?” he asked, annoyed.
Emmett explained that he was able to disable the trap I was caught in, and he wanted to test methods of destruction, and to better investigate the magic itself. The dragon agreed, but he was annoyed that we had to walk there, when he could just fly Emmett. It soon realized that Emmett wasn’t going to be allowed to go without giants chaperoning him.
—
It really didn’t take very long to get to the spot. We were there within the hour. Of course, I didn’t walk any of it, being on Maya’s shoulder. The dragon took off as soon as it could and I started to set up for the day’s work. Thankfully my traveler’s pack was so heavily enchanted that it didn’t get burned up, I had all of my supplies.
I was the only one who could actually go into the trap itself, so I couldn’t have any help, a pity. And it was. Slow going. And to make it worse, the giants were impatient, and didn’t believe me when I said I was working as fast as I could, and in my underwear, I might add.
/”Oh gods, I had forgotten that you didn’t have a spare set of clothes with you” said Maya
“I wish I could forget it, it was embarrassing!” said Emmett, “It’s why I developed a spell to mend clothes!”/
After a few hours in which I made little progress, two dragons arrived, and not the one we had spoken to before. These two were female.
“You, fire witch,” said the larger dragon, pointing a claw at me, “You can destroy these things?”
I walked up to the edge of the trap, as long as I was in it, the dragons couldn’t do anything to me, no one could.
“My name,” I was getting tired of being called ‘fire witch’, “Is Emmett, and yes, I can.”
“Prove it,” she said, spitting some fire, pacing next to the edge of the trap.
I rolled my eyes “I’m trying to figure out what it is, If I destroy it, I can’t learn from it!” I said.
“It matters not, witch, destroy this one, and we will provide another for your investigations,” her companion said.
“Fine,” I said, I packed up all of my things and set about destroying the net. I was quicker than before, now that I knew what to expect, and the dragons watched, barley blinking. The giants watched too, blinking a lot, or sleeping. It took awhile and the poofs of smoke lost their novelty quickly. Only Maya paid as much attention as the dragons, though I’m confident that she was watching them more than she was watching me.
I severed the last magic line and with a sickening THUD, the tip of a dragon’s tail hit the ground. I ran towards it. It was still fresh.
The two dragons didn’t like that, but I stared them down, “This,” I waved the tail end, “is my payment, for sacrificing this trap, and for what I assume are the next ones I am being conscripted to deal with.”
“That is, acceptable,” one of them said. “Now you will come with us, do you have a broom or will we be carrying you?”
“Neither,” said Maya, standing between myself and the dragons, “The witch is my charge, I carry him, you will lead,”
The dragon stood up to her full height, and still had to fly a bit to be at eye level, “This is a dragon matter, giant, we need the witch and you will give him over,”
“No, he’s ours!” and she picked me up.
This had to stop I wanted to help, but not if it meant I was treated like a tool.
“Everyone SHUT UP!” sparks were flying from my hair and I could feel it about to ignite.
All eyes were on me, and not in the way I liked it.
“Now, I should by all means leave you all in the dust and leave with what’s left of my dignity, but I won’t. I won’t. Not just because I’m all mixed up in this, but because I plan to live here someday, and I can’t do that if it’s over run with Society Wizards!” I couldn’t stop it, my hair lit up, but not as angry as I had feared, It clearly knew I wanted a bit of a spectacle. Maya yelped but didn’t drop me.
I paused to calm myself down, even though my hair wouldn’t, and no one said anything, “This, Implausible Connection, no one ever explained it to me but I think I got the gist. It’s an alliance, between all the people’s of the mountain. That means whatever you want me for isnt a dragon matter, it’s an everyone matter. Maya comes with me, or I don’t come at all. And you will honor the Connection, correct?”
The dragons conferred for over a minute, during which the other giants roused from their naps.
“We agree to your terms. The Implausible Connection has not been enacted officially, but it is likely to be soon, the Dragon Emperor is in flight. But they,” and the dragon flicked her tail to the other giants, “Stay behind,”
“Fine with me,” I said.
“Not fine with me,” said Evan, finally joining in.
“You’re no longer a part of this,” I said, and Evan looked like he wanted to rip me limb from limb.
“Evan, I can look after him, he doesn’t need four giants guarding him,” said Maya.
There wasn’t much Evan could do to stop us from leaving short of attacking Maya, so that is where we parted ways and followed the dragons.
“Oh, Emmett, your hair is still on fire,” Maya said, and before I could do anything she licked her fingers and extinguished my hair like a candle.
“Uh, thanks, for that,” I was now covered in spit, wearing burned rags of a robe, and my singed underwear. What a day, and now I was going to help these dragons, soon the everyone in the mountain would get their first impression of me in possibly the worst state I could be in.
Regardless, we followed the dragons, who we learned were named Exceeder and Perzan. They of course were leading us to another sprung trap, which I, again, almost naked, set about destroying.
“About time!” said the dragon that had been caught in the trap when it fell to the ground and stretched its wings.
“You’re welcome,” I said. This dragon had no horns, it was much smaller, a juvenile, very juvenile.
“Ah, yes, forgive my rudeness oh naked one,” they said.
“Dragonling,” said Exceeder, “You will thank this man, and be grateful he has not asked for more.”
The young dragon rolled their eyes and turned back to me, “thanksssss” and flames shot out of their mouth as they hissed.
I caught the flames, I wasn’t about to let the rest of my clothing burn away, “careful now, you might burn down the forest”
“What is he!?” the young dragon, it wasnt in anger. They got up close to me and sniffed curiously, I stepped back, getting closer to Maya, who got the hint and picked me up, away from the small dragon.
“Thanks,” I said, only so that Maya could hear.
“Listen up dragon,s I am In need of clothes, a wash, and another trap to analyze” I said.
The dragons agreed to go in search of another trap while Maya took me back to the village to get cleaned up.
/”Dear, you didn’t mention, that dragonling is Yonah’s friend, dont you remember?”
“Wait, really? That was Dragon?” said Yonah.
“I had totally forgotten it was them,” said Emmett/
But if you think it was going to be that easy, you would be wrong. Turns out, as the first to encounter the wizards, Maya’s village was now a hub of activity. There were five dragons, including The Emperor, Brazon. The Lord of the Elves and their entourage was present, as was half of the Council of Dwarves. Since there was no house large enough for everyone, an area had been set up in the town center, several large tables has been connected, and smaller tables placed on top for the elves and dwarves.
And everyone was demanding to talk to us when we got back. I was adamant, I would not speak about current events until I had fresh clothes, and a bath, please. And since I’m finally in a safe place to say it, I took my sweet sweet time cleaning up.
“Ah, the pair of the hour!” said Evan, as Maya and I, on Maya’s shoulder, formally arrived. He held out his hand for me to step on, smiling warmly. Maya put me on the table herself, and Evan’s smile twitched. I think he wanted to give the impression that he was on good terms with me, and in a position of power in the proceedings.
“I hope everyone had been brought up to speed” I said, “I have had to repeat myself several times today already.”
“We have,” said Brazon, “Unfortunately, these giants cannot give us any details on the traps, not well versed in the arcane,” The giants present all grumbled. “So only you can tell us how they work. What do you know?”
“Well, I would know more, but two of your subjects had me destroy two traps, one that no one was actually caught in,” I said.
Brazon hissed, “We did not ask for insults, we asked for information, witch”
“I can’t tell you much. My fire magic can destroy them, I’m immune to the effects, and I can identify the spell’s anchors,” I said. “I’m not, I’m not a wizard, I’m not fully equipped in skill, knowledge, or tools to analyze these enchantments with even a modicum of efficiency, If I just had more time,” I trailed off.
All eyes were on me, but I had nothing. Maybe I wasn’t the powerful witch i thought I was, maybe all my confidence was faked and I was biding my time until the giants realized it and turned on me. Surely now that I had stated it outright, I was to be tossed away like burned parchment. I was deflated.
But no one was angry, everyone was thinking. Finally the Lord of the Elves approached me. They had dark skin with blue-ish tones, his brown hair slightly, curled, and their deep green eyes looked up at me. They were at best 4 feet tall, the tallest of the elves present. Their garb was both fancy and armored, encrusted with jewels that reeked of charms. They reached out their hand to hold mine.
It had been a while since I’d seen hands that weren’t large enough to envelop me, and now I was going to take the hands of the Elf Lord of the Implausible Mountains.
“Mr. Ha’Esh was it?” they said, their voice much lower than I had expected, and dripping with kindness perfected from decades of politics, “I am Lord Khelema, it is an honor to meet you”
I was shaking, and feared I was squeezing his smaller hand in mine, “I can’t imagine why,” I said.
“A fire witch? Abandoning their personal endeavors, and so quickly mind you, to help a people in need? It is unheard of,” they said
I blinked, “I, I am owed favors, and was going to be paid,” I said. The elf lord beckoned me to lean down, to put my ear to their mouth.
“You keep telling yourself that? That you are risking your life, safety, and reputation to save all the peoples of the mountains from an unknown plot by the society of wizards, for some measly coin? The promise of a favor?” they said at a whisper.
“What are they telling you!?” one of the giant bellowed, and I jumped.
“I was simply telling him that he need not work alone any longer.” said Khelema, voice booming impressively.
“I, I wasn’t working alone, I have Maya,” I said, indicating her behind me, and my cheeks grew hot as I did.
Lord Khelema took back their hands and then they, a few other elves, and several of the people around me laughed.
“Help with the magic, my good man, you need help with the magic,” said one of the dwarves, “You are still the only one who can traverse a sprung trap, but you have more resources now,”
The present company had already planned to send out spies to look for wizards and traps, as soon as I could tell them what to look for, and were pleased to know of the three dragons I had already assigned to such a task. They all wanted to know what I thought of their plan, which so far was just, well, spy on the wizards, find traps, investigate.
Just a few days ago I had been expecting to find a quiet place for myself, and hope to not transgress on anyone’s territory. Now I meeting the leaders of every mountain People, I was at the center of a war tribunal, and our foe was the Society of Wizards.
My only anchor was Maya, who stood behind me the entire time, offering support when she could.
The first step was to find a freshly laid trap, and not get caught in it, or at least, if someone was to activate it, for it to be me. I would provide notes and execute testing procedures developed by the elves, dwarves, and dragons. As a side project I would try to come up with a method to allow non-fire witches to destroy or if possible, enter a trap.
If we could capture a wizard that would be extremely helpful, but if they could be simply killed that was perfectly acceptable.
I posited that we contact The Academy of Wizards, but they couldn’t be brought into this, too neutral. And even though The Academy is a separate entity from The Society, no one wanted to deal with more wizards than necessary.
It got dark by the time we adjourned. But instead of going to the healing house, Maya took me to hers, or rather, her families, she still lived with her parents and some of her siblings. The elves and the dwarves both offered me more properly proportioned accommodations, but I was more comfortable with the one person I was most familiar with.
—
That was… the first proper night we spent together, without him in a cage or myself on the mend. Though all it really involved was Emmett being given a makeshift bed in a small box which I placed by my head. We had a lot of work ahead of us, or he did, and a good night’s sleep was very important.
We had more time to rest up than we thought, progress was slow going. We didn’t find another trap for three days, so for three days I took Emmett around on my patrols, though I knew we were followed by the elves, the sneaky little bast- folk. We saw a wizard once, but he ran before we could get to him, and there was no trap nearby.
The dragons we originally sent to find a trap were eventually successful, and that was nearly out downfall. They hadn’t been trying to sneak around, they’re actions alerted the wizards to the fact that we were mobilizing against them.
And then, out of nowhere, there were wizards. All over the mountains. It took all of our combined efforts to hold them off of, whatever they were planning. Emmett was immune to their magic, and they didn’t know we had a fire-witch, so he was constantly being called to remove the traps, and there wasn’t much chance to study them.
Even with the help of the elves, he made little progress. All we learned was the magic was old and secret. The Society of Wizards had delved into some long forgotten archive for the construction of the enchantments.
The only major development made was after two weeks, we, or rather, the dwarves, the elves, and Emmett, figured out how to destroy the traps more efficiently. And I heard them explain it enough that even I understood it.
Emmett’s magic was still the only thing that could destroy an activated trap, not that we knew how to avoid activating them when we stopped a wizard from doing so, but that’s beside the point. If you thought of the magic like ropes, you could imagine cutting the ropes with scissors. Scissors made of fire-witch magic.
And it was a brilliant solution. That cage that Emmett was held in? We took that apart and forged a few blades, these could slice right through the magic, but it had to be done from the outside in, cleaving each tether that was exposed enough to reach without getting caught in the trap. It was slow, careful going. Unless you were Emmett and could waltz into a trap and cut up the spell.
We had Emmett analyze the cage and imbue more metal with the same magic, for more blades.
/“I spent three freaking days doing nothing but pouring my magic into pieces of metal for the dwarves! I felt like I was going to die of boredom or waste away from lack of magic”/
It was the only three days where I wasn’t at Emmett’s side, and it was the worst three days of the entire conflict. I took out my distress on the wizards, so at least I applied myself constructively in that time.
The problem was, the wizards were getting smarter, and wouldn’t activate the traps if they figured out we were nearby, and we couldn’t destroy one that wasn’t activated, not yet. Because we couldn’t find them. Even if we could see the wizard working on placing it.
—
Finally we captured one of the Society Wizards before he could flee, or was killed (the dragons and the giants tended to favor eating them, the dwarves to disembowel or bludgeon, and the elves to turn into pincushions of arrows).
We took away his staff, his source of magic, and. We… persuaded him to talk. I had to be there, to counter any magic he might have kept for himself, and to, assist. I’m not too proud of what I did, but we needed to know what the wizards were planning.
It was as bad as we feared. The wizards were not placing traps, they were activating an old network that they put there ages ago. They had apparently forgotten about their plan to capture as many magical beings as possible in the Implausible Mountains, and drain their magic. They didnt know why they abandoned that plan, but they figured they could try and finish the job.
The wizard didn’t know how many of the traps existed, only that there were a lot. Each web was actually a nexus point, and if enough could be activated, it would form one giant web, trapping everyone, leaving them at the mercy of the wizards.
After analyzing the wizard’s staff, along with help from the elves, we found a spell that detected the traps. It took about a week, but we were able to copy it. The traps were very well hidden, but they were like spider’s webs, and would, collect dew as it were. Magical dew. You would let out a small amount of pure magical energy, like a mist of magic, and would see where it stuck. But you had to know the pattern it would collect in. We knew it now.
After that, well there isn’t much of note, Maya and I traveled around finding traps, sometimes finding the wizards already there, sometimes getting the jump on them. We were just one of many groups clearing the mountains, and after another month we were sure there were no more wizards and very few traps left, the very strange almost war, was over!
There was a big celebration held in the largest of the giant villages, the only one that could seat more giants than just it’s village population. Beyond the relief that we had stopped the wizards, there was a celebration of unity. It had been a while since the Implausible Connection had been enacted and the peoples of the mountains had put aside their differences and petty conflicts.
Near the end I was asked to give a speech. We were all happy and off of food and various alcohols. I knew it was coming, and knew that there wasn’t much I could say that hadn’t been said before, except for one thing.
“Most of you know that I originally got entangled in this because I was the one who found Maya in that very first trap. What you may not know is that I only helped destroy that first trap, and free Maya, in exchange for a favor. I did not tell her what the favor would be, or when I would ask for it. Truthfully, I just liked the idea of having a giant indebted to me.”
Glancing at Maya I could see she was not pleased with my honesty. I cleared my throat again, and walked in front of Maya, staring into her dark eyes, letting her presence become my world. It was easy to do, she is very large. I smiled up at her.
“Maya” I said, holding out my hands palms down in front of me.
“Would you do me the favor, of marrying me?”
And I apparated a pair of bond earrings between us.
There was complete silence, I feared I had made a fatal mistake.
“Is he serious?” I heard Evan shout, breaking the tension. I didn’t look at him, I only looked at Maya, and I nodded.
—
“Yes,” I said, and I scoped up your father and kissed his entire head.
—
“And since everyone we knew was already present, we saw no reason not to have the wedding right then and there,” said Maya, concluding the story.
Yonah had been in rapt attention the entire time. He had to shake himself out of his trance. “Wowwwww, that was the best story ever! Can I see the earring mother?”
“Of course,” she said, removing the circlet with a pleasant click. Placing it in Yonah’s hands.
“These are not in any giant fashion,” she said, “See the markings? It’s giant formal, but it’s much too curved and flowing, much too intricate, and too detailed. No giant’s hands could make details that small. I found out later that night that Emmett had been planning this for a while, back when he was enchanting the metal, and I wasn’t around, he had asked the dwarves to make the earrings.”
Yonah was studying the piece of jewelry, it was sturdy and would not break in his or any giant’s hands.
“Do you have any other stories?” he said.
His parents laughed, his father coughed a bit. Yonah didn’t understand what was funny. He was so proud of his parents, they were heroes! Surely they had more stories!
“Your father needs to rest now, how about you come hunting with me?”
“But, you went yesterday!” said Yonah, yet a bad feeling gathered in his gut. The hunt yesterday had been very successful, 4 dire-boars, 3 deer. And he was useless at hunting!
“I should rephrase that, I’m not going to be hunting, you are. I know you have been slacking on archery practice, and it’s not right for a young giant to not know his way around a ranged weapon.” she said, ruffling her son’s hair.
Yonah groaned, he hated archery, and most combat training. He knew why it was important, and he was ok at it, but only because his mother was an expert and his teacher. He would never be as good as good as her, and he didn’t want to. He much preferred magic, and gardening, like his dad.
“Come on, you get your father into bed, and I’ll get our supplies,” she smiled wickedly.
[FIN]
[FIN]
[Thanks for reading! Reblogs are greatly appreciated! With tags to tell me what you liked about this story! If you want a story with an adult Yonah and vore in it, go here! it’s safe vore, but does mentioned fatal]
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Hello Lilly! Can you do an imagine where Snape punishes a careless student who failed to turn in their homework with all his sarcastic snark?
Hi! So sorry for the late reply! Here is that imagine for you! Hope you like it!
Your Girding Potion was a very bright blue. It was bordering cyan at this point. Meanwhile, your classmates’ potions were all going from silver to red. Something was obviously wrong. You had no idea what because it seemed you were also the only student in class that didn’t do that bloody essay.
Here’s the thing: you had planned to do the essay. You had. You really really had! But then some Gryffindor had whipped out a supposed extreme version of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and you had to prove Slytherin had just as much bravery in its house. Everyone knew Gryffindors were less brave than they were reckless so with your cunning, ambition, and bravery, you were sure to win. AND YOU DID! You just.. sort of… ended up losing track of time and not doing your essay. But it was for house pride! Besides, you’d never heard of Professor Snape taking points from his own house so you were fine surely.
Your now definitely cyan potion was starting to bubble and spit in its cauldron. You had to do something. Snape might not have raked you over the coals for your homework but he sure as hell would if you exploded his classroom.
Frantically, you look around to see what your classmates are doing. Some of them were just waiting while others were adding stuff. What was it?
The sound of a chair pushing back had your eyes snapping to the front. Snape was about to make a round of the classroom. Luckily his first stop was always the Gryffindors. That meant you’d have time and he’d be in a better mood after taking some points from them.
You could do this.
You glance to your left, watching the other Slytherin fourth years. A girl next to you appears at her cauldron with some kind of measurement of something.
“Hey,” you whisper, glancing to Snape to see where he was. He was sneering at a Gryffindor. You turned your attention to the girl who seemed to have been checking on the same thing.
“What?” she asked
“What’s the next step?”
Snape’s footsteps indicating he was moving on. Two more workbenches of Gryffindors and he’d be onto this side of the room.
Your housemate tilted her measure casually, allowing you to get a sneak peak. Toasted dragonfly thoraxes. Right. You quickly go to the supply closet. How much should you put in? How much did she have? Was that a cup? Half?
Snape was onto the Slytherins now. Panicking, you grabbed a measuring cup and scooped it full, not bothering to check what it was. Surely your housemate would help you.
You rushed back to your cauldron. Your potion was turning into goo now. Was this normal? Could you save it? You probably should have at least read the chapter assigned to you last week.
Snape’s footsteps were heading your way so you begged Merlin and all thing magical in the world to help you out this one time and you dumped your entire measurement of toasted dragonfly thoraxes right into the cauldron and started stirring like mad.
Please work, you begged silently.
“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor Snape drawled behind you and you all but froze.
“Yes, sir?”
“Are you making Girding potion or scrambled eggs because I am quite sure beating it was nowhere in my directions. But then again, I have been a Potions Master for only fifteen years so what do I know.”
“Just trying to really incorporate those dragonfly thoraxes, sir,” you reply with a charming smile.
“Well, if you incorporate them anymore they’ll want to start a union.”
You don’t say anything. Instead, you just look down at your potion. It’s turned silver! And they say potions is hard. You smile and smirk up at him.
“That’s fine by me as long as the work gets done, which it obviously has been,” you say gesturing to your cauldron.
Snape looks into it, cocking an eyebrow.
“You call that silver? And here I thought Hogwarts had yearly eye exams.”
“You could practically stake a vampire with this!”
“You would know that then? You are remarkably like a vampire, miss Y/L/N. You truly suck the life out of everything. Just look at what you’ve done to this potion.”
You frowned. It was a little more grey than silver but it wasn’t that bad! Besides at least you’d saved it from the disastrous goop it was becoming.
“I doubt you could salvage that. Not because your potions talent resembles that of a drunken weasel, though that’s certainly a contributing factor.”
You opened your mouth to reply but snapped it shut as Snape simply walked away to continue his round.
Right. You’d show him. Your potions grades might not be that great and you might not do your homework all that often but it wasn’t like this was hard! Have a recipe. Follow the recipe. Make a potion. The end.
Just because he couldn’t get the Defense job didn’t mean he had to go around acting like potions was so dangerous and mysterious. He literally wrote the directions on the board for Merlin’s sake.
Speaking of directions, next step was to turn up the heat. You carelessly turned the heat all the way up. Hotter would heat it faster which means you’d be a step ahead. Then he could stick that up his arse. You’d be done first and perfectly well.
You glared up at his back as he made his way to the front of the room.
“Y/N, watch out!” your housemate next to you yelled just as your potion belched out a huge cloud of metal grey air and grey slime pinged out of the cauldron in a spitting explosion. Everyone ducked for cover, yelling and abandoning their own potions as they tried to get to safety.
Snape stopped mid-stride as the explosion went off behind him. You stood there in shock, splattered with the destruction of your potion. You looked up at him, too taken aback to speak.
“I didn’t know it would do that, I swear!”
“You stupid girl,” he growled as he charged towards you. His wand was out before anyone had yet come out from cover and he vanished the mess with a flick of his wrist. Including the mess on you.
“It’s not my fault, Professor!” you said, as he glared at you. “Will- Will I be okay?”
“At least you’ve saved me the trouble of reading your homework as there’s no way you could have earned a passing grade if you had to ask that question,” he said, staring down at you.
“I didn’t do my homework…”
Snape frowned, unimpressed. His black eyes boring into yours.
“And why not?” he asked slowly, crossing his arms.
“I was busy.”
Blank surprise followed by not just one but both eyebrows arched, nearly up to his hairline. Then, narrowed eyes and a tight-lipped expression was looking back at you.
“You…were…” he articulated, even slower than before, “busy.”
The classroom was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. People had come out of their hiding, too fascinated with the exchange happening between you and Snape to care about the state of their potions.
“I suppose you didn’t bother to read the chapter I assigned you?”
Your heart was beating fast. You weren’t used to having so much of his attention. Or it being this intense.
“Well?”
“No,” you muttered.
“What was that?”
“No,” you squeaked.
“No what?”
“No, sir.”
Snape watched you for a second.
“Where is it you think you went wrong today to land you in the position of being such a pathetically terrible potioneer or does it go all the way back to walking into this school four years ago? After all, not all witches or wizards have the capability to do something as simple as reading a book. Especially for someone such as yourself, with such a busy schedule.”
You didn’t say anything, your cheeks turning red in embarrassment.
“Can you not speak either? Surely that does not take magical talent. If it did it would be a wonder you uttered even a syllable thus far in life.”
“My potion turned really blue. I was trying to save it and panicked,” you blurted out. “I think it’s because it was such a dark red when I put it on the heat but it was fine before!”
“Page one seventy-nine,” Snape replied evenly, staring at you.
You hesitated before reaching for your classmate’s book. Snape stopped you. “I… don’t have my book.”
“Of course you don’t. Why would you bring your book to class when I’ve told you every first day since the first year to bring it to class. How silly of me.”
Your cheeks were burning. You pulled the book to you, muttering a thank you to your classmate. You flipped it open to the page he told you. You read, feeling his eyes boring into you. Your heart was beating faster.
Step One: Add one set of fairy wings.Step Two: Heat until the potion turns turquoiseStep Three: Add one measure of doxy eggs.Step Four: Heat until the potion turns pink.Step F-
Wait.
Step Three: Add one measure of doxy eggs.
Bugger. The Doxy eggs.
“Well?”
“I didn’t add enough doxy eggs.”
“And?”
You glance around the room. Everyone is watching. Some of them look sorry for you.
“They can’t help you. Answer the question.”
You look back at the recipe. “I think I messed up the dragonfly thorax bit.”
“You think? Are you sure you’re capable of such a complex activity?”
“I messed it up.”
“How?” it was more a statement than a question. You gulped. How?
“I panicked.”
Snape said nothing. Just waited. You sucked in a breath.
“I just tossed some in and started stirring and then turned the heat up as far as it would go.”
Someone in the room gasped. Snape ignored it.
“You carelessness is only matched by your incompetence and disregard of the use of the excuse you call a brain. Five points from Slytherin for not completing your homework. Another five for not doing your reading. Ten points for wasting my ingredients. Five points for distracting your classmates and almost causing their potions to ruin. And an additional five points for disgracing my classroom with your presence and pathetic attempt at being a student.”
Your jaw dropped open. “But I’m in your house!”
Snape stood and glared down at you sharply. “Ten more points for thinking you deserve special treatment and questioning my authority. You’ve also just failed your assignment and will not be given a second chance.”
“But, Sir, I’ll never be able to pull my grade up in time for the end of the year! I need potions for my NEWT! I’ll never make the cut now!” You stared at him open-mouthed, heart racing in shock.
His face was blank and he was paused as if expecting you to continue.
“How am I supposed to bring my grade back up?” you asked weakly.
#severus snape#pro snape#snapedom#imagine#severus snape imagine#sev and his snark#strict take no shit teacher#okay maybe a little mean here#but like#you totally needed to get your ass kicked into gear#i mean???#you didn't even read the book?#for shame#also#not edited so sorry#tried to make him snarky#unsure if i did so#hope you like it!#also we're just going to pretend you're in fifth year or a transfer student because#i messed up#shhhh
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