#trying to see where i can fit in some BLAISE TRAUMA

[safyresky]

🤔🤔🤔

So,,, Microsoft Word,,, can't speak. Canadian english????????

[dangerouslyallaboutdraco]

Story of us

A/n: Angsty, post-Hogwarts and slightly r13 towards the end. 

The history between Y/n and Draco was... complicated. There was something between them that their friends just couldn't understand. On paper there was no reason for them to dislike each other as much as they did, she was a pureblood Slytherin who grew up very similarly to him and also had to change her views like Draco did after the war.

They shared trauma and multiple parallel life experiences but they just didn't get along. Pansy and Daphne never got it, why Y/n had that look of disgust on her face once Draco finished talking.

Blaise and Theo thought it would get better after they left Hogwarts and didn't spend all their free time together, but still, Draco rolled his eyes whenever she walked into the room.

Now they were adults in the wide world, jobs, partners but the tightknit friend group stayed close. Friday nights were always time they spent together, reserved for clubbing or a pub night out or even sitting on Blaise and Pansy's living room floor.

Tonight it was the latter. With a G and T (her favourite muggle alcohol) in her hand, Y/n sat on their couch next to Pansy who had had a lot more than her to drink.

Just as the boys had taken out their hidden stash of weed, Y/n spoke up. "I'm going to go outside." It wasn't that she was opposed to weed, she just didn't like the smell and the boys always insisted on smoking so much they couldn't see out the windows.

Blaise and Pansy's apartment had a beautiful wrap-around balcony. While Y/n and Draco were both fair wealthier, they both received substantial graduation gifts that went a long way to getting an apartment in a good part of London.

They had been together since the last year of Hogwarts, all of their friends watching them slowly grow closer over the year until they realised they were in love.

It was beautiful and while 17-year-old Y/n envied them, she always wanted to speak at their wedding.

As soon as she opened the balcony door the still night air hit her. While it was colder than inside, the sweet smell of the summer air made it a nice contrast.

The sun was just setting in the distance and the sky was the most beautiful golden, pink colour. It was the time Y/n always liked to look out her window at during the war, knowing there was peacefulness at the end of the day always made the long days feel slightly better. The way the warm light danced over the water, dancing on the walls of the usually dark dormitory.

Standing out on the balcony, where the world was right and falling into place felt a lot better. Like nothing could get her down.

She was off in her own world, not noticing when Draco opened the sliding door and walked out next to her.

"Shit Draco!" She shrieked once he put his hand on her lower back. She ignored the tingling feeling in her stomach as she glared at him.

Draco stepped closer to her, maybe too close for her liking. "You could really do with some weed to chill out." He told her, holding the joint closer to her face. "This stuff is the shit, just fresh from my guy." He continued to tell her.

Maybe she would have been interested in Draco if he were less cocky, less rude and a bit more sensitive. Something in his bad-boy image had developed over the year that meant she liked him less.

"Do you always insist on speaking like a druggy?" Y/n asked him, watching him carefully as he looked over the railing with his joint.

He retaliated quickly. "Do you always insist on being such a tight ass, Miss Goody-two-shoes?" He couldn't understand why she always seemed to spoil their fun, ever since they were sorted into Slytherin. 

She just rolled her eyes at him and stared out into the distance. While he was no longer disturbing her silence he was still disturbing her peace and alone time. 

She didn't feel like arguing with him either, it was just too much effort. Draco stood there, smoking his joint while Y/n gazed at the skyline. 

“Why are you even out here?” Y/n snapped at him, suddenly feeling annoyed by the smell of his smoking. 

“Because I can be, what even is your problem with me?” He was definitely going to find out how she felt now, pushing her to the limits made her snappy. 

She rolled her eyes at him, obviously annoyed. “We faced pretty much all of the same challenges in life, but you just became a failure and it really annoys me.” 

“Well, you’re just a slut who hooked up with several guys at school, none of which liked you for any reason other than your body.” Draco’s words did hurt her quite a bit, it wasn’t like she didn’t know he hated her but hearing him say that the people she’d been intimate with never actually cared for her hurt. 

“Fuck off, Draco.” She told him, carefully. 

The look on his face showed her that he was not going to stop for a second. “Just because you don’t like the truth, bitch.”  

“Just leave me alone.” She told him, turning away. 

Draco couldn’t stop winding her up now, it just brought him too much amusement. “Or what, Y/l/n, will you sleep with me like you did every other guy?”

Y/n turned around and put her hand up to slap Draco’s cheek. It wasn’t as hard as she could have hit him but it was the hardest she ever hit anyone. There was a loud sound as her palm contacted his face. 

Still stunned and with her hand in mid-air, Draco snatched her wrist. There they were standing in a face-off, Draco’s slim finger wrapped around her wrist and suddenly there was not one sound. Both of them staring into each other’s eyes. Although Y/n felt threatened, never one to back down from a challenge she scrutinized his eyes.  

Draco was seeing red, his least favourite of all the colours. He was like a bull staring down where he was going to charge. The colour of hatred, blood, anger and passion.

The passion she felt for him, it was surging from where he was touching her. He was the energy source that filled her usually with range but now it was amour fou. 

In a moment Draco released his grip on her hand and moved his hands to her cheeks. Unlike his prior roughness, his thumb stroked along her cheekbones softly and carefully like he was afraid to break her as he lay his fingers under her jawline. 

His softness was a complete shock to Y/n who was still gazing into his eyes. The cold fingertips were more gentle than she’d ever expected, dancing across her jawline with such care. She wasn’t sure she’d ever experienced a touch this delicate. 

There they stayed for a few moments, taking each other in. Both of their minds were on the other, brains frenzied trying to figure out how this had happened. Draco was sure he was infatuated with her perfume, obsessed over the perfect blend of coconut and vanilla that was all he could focus on.

Before either of them could think about the consequences their lips were pressed together in a heated kiss. The passion radiated off them, electricity circuiting through them. And it finally felt, for both of them, that every little puzzle piece fit. 

Eventually they lips parted, their eyes flickering open. Draco was an inch from her face, not believing just how beautiful she was. He held his hands on her face tighter not wanting to let her slip out of his grip. 

“Draco Malfoy, I am 100% in love with you.” Y/n slowly let out. She’d just kissed her arch-enemy so there was no point in not being truthful. 

He smirked, that cute little smirk that had only ever annoyed her from across the common room. “Damn it, y/l/n!” He exclaimed with mock anger. “Now we’re going to tell our kids that mum said ‘I love you’ first.” It was odd for Y/n to see him like that as they were usually at each other’s throats. And now he was thinking about their very distant future.

She smiled to match his. “Just tell me it back, you dork.”

“I am 110% in love with you.” Draco counted. “Do you want to come back to my place?”

Y/n’s face turned to worry. “This isn’t a joke, is it?” Usually, this isn’t the type of shit he would pull but she’d never know. 

“No, no, no.” His fingers were back stroking her cheeks. “I am really sorry about what I said, believe me, I’ll never say something like that again.”

Something in Y/n knew he wasn’t lying. There was no chance he didn’t feel the same passion he did in the kiss. “Well, you could take me to dinner before you try and get into my panties.” 

Draco let out a light laugh, blowing air right onto her face. “Whoever said I wanted to do that, you flirt?”

“Don’t act like you don’t want to fuck me.” The chemistry between them was electric and hot. The pair looking into each other's eyes with desire.

“Let’s go before I do you right here.” Y/n looked at him with challenging eyebrows. “Do you need me to prove it?”

 Y/n pulled back from his grip on her face, leaving Draco standing there like an idiot. “Hurry up then.” She said, looking back over her shoulder with a smile as she went to open the patio door. 

[ghostdrew22]

One Of Those Days || Draco Malfoy

Requested: No

Pairing: post-war Draco Malfoy x fem!reader

Warnings: Some police detective talk(not good but something) and a few mentions of murder and whatnot. But it’s quite fluffy in my opinion.

Summary: Draco and Y/N work as detectives in a muggle police department and she has a really rough day after it looks like one of her cases is about to fall through. Draco can sense that she’s had a bad day and offers to help her get her work done.

WORDS : 2001

~

Draco prided himself in knowing as much about you as possible- it was his hobby in fact. Draco could tell your silhouette through stained glass windows, he could tell your laugh from three storey’s above you, he could sense your footsteps from kilometers away and he could pinpoint whatever emotion you were feeling with just a single sound from you. Some people would find it creepy- the way he focused so intently on every detail of you like he needed to commit your entire existence to memory- but you loved it, relished it in fact, especially on days when it felt like the entire world was against you and all you needed was for him to comfort you.

That’s why when you’d come by his office to get him for dinner that night he’d known that you weren’t up for it. You were trying very hard to hold it together- it was date night with Blaise and Pansy after all- but he just knew that today had been one of those days, and he made quick work of getting you comfortable on the little couch in his office. It was in the heavy steps you took when you came in- like you couldn’t bare to carry the weight of your own body even though your own office was barely a few paces away from his- and the fake smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked once he’d finally got you seated comfortably- pulling your feet into his lap so he could start massaging them- and you tried your best to feign stability with a nod.

“Yes, just a long day.”

“There’s no need to lie, love.” He persisted and moved one hand below your chin so he could lift your head to look at him. “I know something’s up.”

And he was right, as usual, something was up and it had been bothering you all day. One of your cases just didn’t make sense, no matter how hard you looked there didn’t seem to be the missing string that would tie it all together. You knew who the murderer was, it was textbook really, but you just couldn’t find any evidence tying him to the murder no matter how hard you tried.

“Is it the case?” He asked- referring to the homicide case you’d been working at relentlessly for three weeks now- and you merely nodded meekly in response, feeling too hopeless and tired to manage more.

Both you and Draco had wanted to pursue law enforcement for as long as you could remember- particularly homicide investigation- but after the war neither of you could bare the idea of being aurors- the trauma deterring you both from wanting anything to do with fighting the dark arts- and so you decided that working as muggle detectives was the next best thing. And you loved your jobs, really, but it was a hard job to do when every other aspect of your lives benefitted from the use of magic. I mean, how would you explain to a jury that magic helped you track down a suspect in record time? It was absolutely outrageous and it made sure that you both stuck by the book. But it could be immeasurably exhausting despite your love for it, and today was one of those days.

“He’s going to walk.” You said before a sob escaped your lips and Draco was quick to grab you by the shoulders gently and pull you into his chest for soothing- knowing that all you really wanted was for him to listen to you complain and hold you tightly. So you began to explain your situation to him and he listened intently- absorbing every single detail that he could and running his hand up and down your arm to keep you at bay.

“Do you want help going over the files?” He asked once you’d finished explaining. The truth was that you did want help- particularly his help because he was the only person in the entire homicide department with an eye better than your own when it came to this kind of stuff- but you didn’t want to ask for it in fear of adding to his workload, and so you bit your lip and shook your head softly.

“It’s okay Drac, don’t worry about it.” You tried to brush it off, but Draco knew you too well to fall for your antics and he shook his head back at you.

“Nonsense love, I’ll help.” You opened your mouth to protest- already feeling guilty at making him help you- but he was quick to interrupt you, already knowing what you were going to say. “You’e not adding onto my workload Y/N, I’ve always got time to help you and you know that.”

You sighed in defeat- knowing that you weren’t going to win- and looked up at him with a pout, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“Hey! Who’s ready to get-“ Blaise had barged into the office excitedly but stopped his speech immediately upon the sight of you and your husband on the couch. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t think we can do tonight mate, Y/N’s case has hit a standstill and I’ve offered her to help her go over the case files to find something that’ll help.” Draco answered his best friend with a solemn expression and Blaise nodded in understanding.

“Is it the Yarvis case?” Blaise asked and you nodded faintly with a sigh, “I could help too if you need an extra set of eyes.” Blaise had also decided to join you and Draco in the muggle detective business, but where you and Draco were homicide detectives, Blaise was focused on Narcotics. Ironic for someone who had been the biggest stoner in your year group.

“Blaise, you really don’t have to. I know you and Pansy have been looking forwa-“ You started but Blaise was already shaking his head and dropping his coat onto the hanger by the door before you could finish.

“That’s absolute nonsense Y/N, we’ve been looking forward to spending time with the two of you and this would count. Think about it, we can order Chinese food and crack into those files around the table like one of those cheesy muggle movies you love?” Blaise offered with a soft smile and eyebrow raise and you had to resist the urge to cry on the spot.

“That would actually be great, thank you Blaise.”

“Anything for a friend. Let me go ring Pansy and tell her to bring Chinese on the way.”

“Okay.” Draco replied to his best friend with a thankful smile.

“The usual?”

“Yes please!” You shouted back as Blaise made his way out of the office with a chuckle at your excitement.

And that is how date night turned into the four of you laid out on the floor around a little table in Draco’s office, eating chow mien and going over your case files- trying to find any inkling of evidence that could tie the suspect to the murder.

“Hey Y/N?” Pansy calls from across you as she strains her eyes at an image from one of the folders- although Pansy is an auror, she has a particular knack for muggle crime as well.

“Yes?” You hum as you slowly bring your eyes up to meet hers.

“What’s this in the corner?” She passes the image to you for you to see what she’s referring to.

“It’s just a photograph in a frame, I think it’s the parents and their children.”

“Okay, now look at this.” She passes you a second, almost identical, image of the scene and the photo frame is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s it gone?” You ask in disbelief.

“I think it disappeared while you were on the scene of the crime, I think it was magic.”

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows at her as you look back down at the images.

“A delayed protection spell perhaps?”

Draco doesn’t say anything but moves closer so that he can also see the two images.


“Why magic? It could’ve been bagged as evidence.”

“No, there are no photo frames in this evidence log.” Blaise pipes up as he passes you the log to inspect yourself.

“Hmm.” You huff and narrow your eyebrows at everything you’ve been handed. “But I’m pretty sure that they’re a muggle family, what could magic have to do with this?”

Pansy shrugs with a thin smile and you sigh- realising that you’ve hit yet another stumbling block- as a silence encapsulates the room.

“Shit.” Draco mumbles as he drops the images onto the ground and quickly jumps off the ground to walk toward his desk his desk.

“Shit?” You ask as you observe his suddenly frantic state as he tries to find something- feeling excitement bubble up inside you at the prospect of him having a lead.

“Yes, shit.” He pulls out two large files from one of his desk drawers and drops them onto the surface, “That- that picture, look at what’s behind the family.”

You narrow your eyes at frame that’s in the evidence shot. “The park?”

“The man that’s on the bench in the park.” Draco responds as he shuffles through papers, “A few months ago I had a case to this where we couldn’t pin the murder to our prime suspect because it all fit so perfectly together but none of the evidence was sufficient enough to withstand trial.”

“Was that the-“ Blaise starts.

“The Hunter Street case? Yes.” Draco answers, “Then right before it looked like she was going to walk, some random evidence perfectly matched up and tied her to the entire thing. It was almost too good to be true.”

“Oh yeah, I remember how confused you were about that.”

“Now I remember why I was so unsettled by it, she wasn’t the culprit.”

“She’s been in jail three months now, a bit too late to be pointing fingers.” Blaise adds with an awkward chuckle and Draco’s lips draw upward slightly at the comment.

“Who did it then?”

“There was a neighbor, a man, who came out as a witness and claimed to have seen her on the night of the crime. I didn’t interview him but I caught a glimpse of him and he is that man in the photograph.”

“How can you be so sure?” Pansy furrows her eyebrows.

“I never forget a face.” Draco utters sternly as he looks Pansy dead in the eyes and you smile proudly.

“So how does he connect to everything?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“He’s the missing puzzle piece, but I think he’s working with someone on the inside.”

“So you think someone discarded the frame for him? On the scene of the crime?”

“Yes! But it definitely wasn’t the photographer, and it means whoever did that arrived after everyone else.” Draco continues and you nod- digesting the information.

“Okay...” You agree with him- feeling a sense of relief wash over you at the fact that finally something is starting to make sense.

Yes, it had been one of those days but everything felt like it was worth it when you could watch your husband in action. You stared at him in awe as he rummaged through the pile of papers in front of him- already connecting the millions of dots that had started forming in his head- and you had to resist the urge to pull him into a kiss of adoration.

“Found it!” Draco explains as he pulls out a small piece of paper and squints to read what’s written on it. Without a second of hesitation he strides toward the door and pulls both of your coats off the hook then stands against the door frame and waits for you.

“Are you coming? We’ve got a murderer to catch.” He asks as he waits for you by the door and you quickly nod and hop off the ground to join him- feeling warmth consume you at the sight of the excited glint in his eyes.

Yes, it had been one of those days… But those days would always be easy to take in stride when you had Draco with you.

<~>

 I feel like I kind of half-assed this toward the end just because I needed to get it done before I lost the love for it, but I still love the general concept either way. I wrote this because I can see Draco wanting to solve crimes and be a detective but I can’t see him wanting to be an auror after the war because he’d be fighting the very same people he ‘worked’ with once and working with the very same people he ‘fought’ against once, and the trauma from the entire situation would be too much to handle and make him hate his job- so muggle detective Draco is born! :)

anyway, love you all,

jean <3

[rivalsforlife]

thoughts on aai2?

oh no I don’t know if I’ll be able to think of anything mean to say because I love aai2 with all my heart, it makes me feel so much.

It really feels like a love letter to Miles Edgeworth’s character and really digs into him and his motivations and history and then centers an entire game around that. The central question of “should he be a defense attorney or stay as a prosecutor?” is one that’s probably been on a lot of people’s minds since the first game when he makes that comment to Phoenix, and even moreso after T&T where he pretends to be a defense attorney on Phoenix’s behalf. And aai2 not only comes up with an answer to that but also gives justification for that answer in a way that’s extremely heartwarming and absolutely fits Miles’ ideals of Truth And Justice, as well as showing how exactly he would NOT be fit to be a defense attorney (that one dialogue in the Imprisoned Turnabout where he’s talking about finding the truth of the case and then Kay jumps in and says “but Mr. Edgeworth, remember we’re not just doing this for the truth, we’re doing it to save Simon!” meanwhile Miles... completely forgot about that.)

I feel like anyone reading this should already know that I’m going to be getting into very spoilery territory with this and I will tag it accordingly, so I’m just gonna go for it: Simon Keyes. What a villain. Not only is he a surprise villain but one that you can sort of see coming, his motivations are sympathetic and he’s an excellent foil to Miles (which the game itself points out) plus he is so so so good at targeting everyone’s emotional weakness, which is like my favourite thing from a writing standpoint, when you get to see the villain talking and they make some comment and you shout “YEAH HE HAS A POINT��� in the audience. The game tries to brush it over, but I hear you, Simon, and you’re so right. 

“You will focus on the truths most convenient to you to prove your argument?” That’s like basic human confirmation bias, but also something that the games tend to do a LOT, and Miles had done quite a bit of throughout the game. Kay’s found on the roof with all this evidence on her? It must be planted, there’s no way his dear little Kay could be a murderer. But once it turns against Simon, Miles isn’t as interested in saving him, he just needs to keep “turning things around” to fit his line of logic so far.

“You never really cared about saving me, you just wanted to pretend to be a defense attorney like your father?” Maybe Miles did care a bit about saving him, but it’s quite clear he’d completely abandon Simon and turn against him if it turned out the truth wasn’t on his side. Plus, he wanted to explore that history Gregory left him, the childhood dreams he’d been forced to abandon. But he has changed as a person, since then, and he can’t completely go back to the person he used to be, but he can still grow and escape the worst of himself, and take that trauma inflicted upon him and use it to fight against the corruption he was molded to perpetuate!! UGH it’s so good I am feeling things about Miles Edgeworth again.

The new characters are also excellent for developing his character. Ray is the connection to Gregory and as a result Miles’ childhood that Miles hasn’t had in such a long time, and is able to provide him with guidance on his past while challenging him on if he wants to pursue it. (Seriously, get rid of the creepy jokes and Ray would definitely be one of my favourite characters.) Justine is a parallel to AA1-Miles, still believing blindly in the system and thinking it will always dispense justice (just look at how the reveal that MvK forged evidence for a false verdict shakes her) -- she still has a strong sense of justice, but it’s restricted by her faith in the rule of law. Sebastian is like Bratworth, in a way, naïve and being used by a father-figure in order to enact their own agenda, and in the end, is forced to learn that person never had his best interests in heart and learn how to move on from that as a prosecutor, despite that person being the one who put them on the prosecutor’s path to begin with... pretty much figuring out how to reshape their destiny.

And the game doesn’t just focus on these characters, it focuses on all the bonds Miles has with these people, and also explores the various ways a parent-child bond can present itself (healthily, unhealthily, complicated or not so much, biological or adopted) and the influences of that on the children. From Miles+Greg to Sebastian+Blaise, even Franziska+MvK, Kate+Jeff, John+Justine, even Simon+Dogen vs Simon+Gustavia... the game spends so much time fleshing these out and their impacts on the people involved. It’s also just a game about human relationships in general. Miles learning how to express himself properly to say thanks, or say how much people mean to him. Miles showing actual respect for Gumshoe. Gumshoe finding his own reasons for being a detective that’s not just about helping Miles. Franziska learning how to move on from what her father did to decide her own path. Miles and Kay, I hope everyone knows how strongly I feel about Miles and Kay, that father-daughter type bond has a permanent place in my heart now. Kay, who is lost and clinging to this image of her father as a Great Thief and trying to follow in his footsteps to be a hero just like him, and then deciding in the end to make her own path in life. Sebastian feeling lost and alone and abandoned but finding the courage to stand up with the support of the people who care about him. Miles being a pillar of unwavering support for these two kids, who he can see so much of himself in, trying to set them on a better path in life. And I can’t forget Phoenix, who doesn’t ever appear and isn’t mentioned by name, but whose influence you can feel through all of Miles’ actions, as the man who saved him, who showed him the value of bonds between people, who, in essence, taught him how to love and be loved and open his heart to others again!

This game has so much love in it, it’s really about love -- platonic love, familial love, the absence of love and what affect that has on people like Simon, how love can save others from turning down darker paths, the extent that love can drive people to do ridiculous things to save those they care about, how love can change people for better or for worse, how it can be a vulnerability but also a strength. It has one of the things I really love about AA, this focus on bonds that aren’t romantic, because none of the major relationships focused on in the game are romantic but you can still feel so much love that all of these characters have for each other.

WOW this is going on a while I should probably stop. I have a lot of feelings about this game. I just wrote more instances of “love” than I ever think I have before. Um, in conclusion, I love this game? Like it has its flaws (pacing issues... all the jokes Ray makes...) but overall it’s probably the game that makes me feel the most, every single time I watch a playthrough or play it myself (totaling several times now) I just find more to love and it still always makes me feel things. I honestly don’t know if I can be objective about it haha. 

[junhaoshua]

The Great Collie Crossover, 9/10

A/N:  I LIVE. Many apologies for the long delay, life + two bereavements got in the way and sucked away my writing motivation. Please enjoy this long overdue chapter! The epilogue is coming soon!!!

The usual disclaimer: I own none of the characters, being neither JK Rowling nor @colubrina. This is just a chance for me to play in the sandbox they have created.This is a birthday/get well soon present for the lovely @colubrina, whose work has been such a joy and inspiration to me.

***

8: Rebuilding

“This is the last world, isn’t it?” Hermione asks.

Other-Hermione nods. “And out of all, it’s probably the most like yours. But my parents couldn’t be un-obliviated. And I broke up with Ron. So after that, I came to Hogwarts to help rebuild the castle. And take my NEWTs. And hopefully fix my life while I was at it.”

Which sounds exactly like what she did, except for the breaking up part. “Were you the only one who returned too?”

“And that,” Other-Hermione says as the scene changes, “is where our paths diverge.”

She remembers this. Coming back. Settling into the Slytherin girls’ dorms because they were the least destroyed. But the blonde head in the common room is something new.

“And of course it’s Malfoy,” she says, unable to conjure up any surprise even as the past-Hermione goes “Malfoy. Bloody hell.”

She looks at the other witch, and they snort in unison.

Walking to dinner together and talking about Macbeth. Helping in the library, separately at first then together. Arguing - a brief moment of shared misery at being able to see thestrals - then right back to arguing. Apologizing for mocking him about the ferret incident. Shakespeare and Titus Andronicus and the atrocities humans committed during war. More cleaning of books. Complimenting each other until he brings up Ron and she can’t help but wonder what happened here. Did he cheat on her? Hurt her? Do some other atrocity she hasn’t seen in any world?

“No, no, and no,” Other-Hermione says, and she realises she asked that out loud. “You’re allowed to break up with people who aren’t evil, you know.”

“Then? What was it?” she asks as she watches Draco apologise, as they bare their wounds to each other, as they watch the stars.

“You’ll know soon enough.”

There’s a long silence as past-Hermione says that he was forced to be a Death Eater but that doesn’t make him one. The two tentatively flirt before tension descends, past-Hermione mercilessly breaking down every reason why being with him would be a constant battle. Somehow easing into another quiet rapport.

Cuddling in the Slytherin dungeons and talking about their parents. Watching the fish and falling asleep in his arms. A kiss. Conversations in the library that make her wish she hadn’t gone through her eighth year alone, that she’d had someone like Draco to bare her soul to. More kissing. The pureblood and his pity date. The war heroine and her walk on the wild side. “It will be awful.” “It will be the only good thing in a sea of awful.”

Theo arriving and the tension that ensues. Getting drunk. Going up to Gryffindor Tower. Hurling fierce, angry words at each other. “Easy to offer forgiveness to the boy you want to shag, isn’t it?” and even though it’s been so long, Other-Hermione still flinches at the accusation.

Breakfast. Theo taking care of Draco like she takes care of Harry, the loyal friend who looks out for them because things in their life are shite. Theo, who loves his father and didn’t know he was a Death Eater. Theo, who’s gay here - why does his sexuality seem to vary between worlds? Reaching a sort of detente.

Then Ron comes into the library, full of accusation and cruel words and - “You abandoned us!”

“That’s why you broke up with him?” Hermione asks, stunned.

“He abandoned you and you didn’t break up with him?” Other-Hermione throws back.

The fight is hard to watch. The words “Death Eater’s slag” even harder to take. But she can’t bring herself to be surprised. Her Ron could do this. If she ever got together with a Slytherin. Her Ron could call her that.

Conversations and explanations. Ron going to the Prophet, to Rita Skeeter, to claim that Draco had imperiused her. Proving it wrong, going after Rita, sending Ron a Howler, and she recognises past-Hermione’s viciousness with the discomfort of one who knows she’s capable of the same. Teaching Draco to make a Patronus. Matching otters.

“You two really are in love,” she says with soft wonder as they watch the summer fly by.

Other-Hermione smiles faintly. “The Patronus always tells.”

The Sorting Feast. Pansy and Neville and Ginny. Molly as DADA professor. Having a panic attack. Ginny defending Draco. The Gryffindors hurling cruel words at her even as the children insist that he didn’t crucio them, that he faked it. Waking up to find “Death Eater’s Whore” tacked to her door. Class and cruelty and being ostracised and Molly and more panic attacks.

Recovery Group, something that’s supposed to help them get over the trauma of the war but turns into angry sniping. Hannah and Padma. Susan Bones, angry and wounded after her family died, lashing out at Theo and Pansy until they walk out. Getting into a screaming match that reduces Susan to tears.

Classes. The eighth years studying together. A second session of Recovery Group, this time with the little Gryffindor boy - Andy - joining them. Pansy being a secret master of household magic. Susan trying to fuck her sorrows away. Theo trying to drink them away.

Rebuilding Day, a big production of inviting parents to Hogwarts to show them that all is well, a production that means people coming with their petty cruelties. Susan defending Theo with the sort of righteous passion only Hufflepuffs can muster. Narcissa and Lucius being polite to her even though it’s clear that they’re doing it to rehabilitate their social image and ward off Posy Parkinson. More cruelty from Ron even as Harry drops a kiss on her hair. Finally alone with Draco then finding out he’s been cutting himself.

“Don’t you dare judge him,” Other-Hermione bites out before she can even say a word.

“I wasn’t going to,” she protests, but she knows she’s lying.

Time passing in school. Suggesting a Yule Ball. Theo and Neville starting a thing. Padma having food issues. Pansy helping her to put Draco back into some semblance of togetherness after he breaks down. Confronting Theo about his drinking. Draco buying brooms for the little first years, trying to atone for his deeds last year by helping them now.

The girls teaming up to go after the Gryffindors and their cruel note. Pansy vicious and hard. Padma wielding Ravenclaw wit and words like a sword. Susan accusing them of being unkind. Hermione wandlessly setting the note on fire. She wishes she had more girlfriends in her world. Girls, together, smashing injustice.

Neville confronting Molly. McGonagall refusing to do anything about it except allow them to self-study DADA. She feels her respect for the old witch drop.

Chanukah at Hogwarts. Shopping for the Yule Ball in Muggle London. Dancing and romance. Harry being all chummy with Draco for her sake. Neville ending it with Theo at the Ball and Hannah going after him. Spending winter break at Hogwarts with Theo while Draco goes back to the Manor. Bonding. Getting each other gifts, a dragon charm bracelet for her and a comically long Gryffindor scarf for him. Draco returning with a pygmy puff and an engagement ring. Percy visiting and flirting with Theo, who’s too busy bemoaning his breakup to notice it.

Time passes. The eighth years bond. Hermione curses a rude student, marking his arm with “bigot” and filling his mouth with soap. Draco doing the only thing he can to make it better by telling his parents that he’s proposed. The Malfoys ignoring it.

Going with Theo to visit his mother’s grave. Helping Padma to eat. Valentine’s with Draco and their first time. Holi at Hogwarts, celebrating diversity and triumph and good winning.

“Look at the hope,” other-Hermione murmurs as they watch the bonfire burn. “It’s always there.” Then she cocks her head. “You’ll have to go soon, I’m afraid. Morning is coming.”

“Tell me how this story ends,” she says. She needs to know.

The other witch smiles. “Theo and Percy adopted Andy - long story. Susan and Blaise. Neville and Hannah. Ron and Tracey Davis - he didn’t know she was a Slytherin. Pansy married Charlie. I married Draco. We all collectively moved into Nott Manor. The Malfoys accepted me because, well, Draco. Even went so far as to bury Regulus and the rest of Riddle’s inferi on their property. Padma used some Muggle techniques to help Lucius handle his post-Azkaban chronic pain. We got Susan on the Wizengamot - well, originally we wanted to get Theo’s dad out of Azkaban, and that was part of it, but he died a day after he was released. Draco and I were DADA professors for a year before I retired to start on independent research. And we lived,” she says. “We live, and we live happily. You can have a happy ending too.”

“And why can’t I have it the way I am?”

“You’re with Ron,” the other witch says simply. “You won’t be happy. He won’t help to put you back together. His broken edges will rub up against yours, not fit into yours to make something new and beautiful.”

“I’m not you. I don’t get panic attacks and need draughts. I’m not broken.” She doesn’t know why she’s so defensive.

“We all have trauma,” the witch says softly, reaching out to cup her cheek. “It’s just a matter of how it shows. Like clinging on to relics of the past, for example.” Mist swirls slow and soft. “The war was hard on everyone. It broke something in us. But we must be stronger for having been broken.”

***

She lands back in King’s Cross, where the first Hermione waits for her. “Do you see now, child? Who you are, who you can be?”

She nods, mind still spinning from everything.

Old-Hermione folds her into a fierce hug. “Then it’s time for you to…

Wake up.”

***

Many thanks to the lovely @sulisaints for being my cheerleader, proofreader, editor, and getting me through this difficult chapter. All credit for the world goes to @colubrina, who's written my emotional support fic. And of course, thank you all. Your comments and kudos have given me the motivation to keep writing. Crossposted on AO3.

[obsidianarchives]

Black Wizard History Month 2019 Round Table

Every February at Black Girls Create we celebrate Black Wizard History Month, a celebration of the Black characters of Harry Potter, Black Potterheads in fandom, and magical Black folks everywhere. This year our month-long turn up included live tweets, a live show of our #WizardTeam podcast, and fanfiction hosted through our Hogwarts BSU project.

Fanfiction is a large part of fandom, and in many cases can be a place for marginalized fans to see and write themselves into the stories they love. Hogwarts BSU is a project specifically for Black writers and artists to write stories centered around Black characters, history, and magic in the wizarding world. As a way to wrap up a jam-packed month, we decided to host a round table with a few of the writers of the pieces that came out during this year’s Black Wizard History Month.

How did you get into Harry Potter?

Bianca Ramos: When I was in 7th grade, my younger cousin was assigned books 1-3 in school. It was during the conservative Christian outrage and my family asked me to pre-read them for him since I was a "reader." I knocked them out quickly and was hooked.

Delia Gallegos: Growing up, the books always peaked my interest in the library, even though I was only 5 or 6 years old. Our household was pretty religious, so my mom was wary about letting me read them. One summer, my cousin lent me Sorcerer’s Stone while we were at my grandma’s. I only got a chapter in but I knew I HAD to read it. After a lot of begging on my part, my mom relented and agreed to let me read it under the condition that she could read the first one out loud to me. The rest was history!

Constance Gibbs: I started reading Harry Potter when I was in sixth grade and someone was reading Chamber of Secrets. I can’t remember if I read that one first or if I went to Sorcerer’s Stone, but I read all three that were out at the time and had my grandma take me to pre-order Goblet of Fire, which was about to come out. I’ve been hooked ever since.

Porshèa Patterson: In 6th grade, my then-bestie told me about the series but had already lent the first book out. That summer I picked up the books from the library after learning I'd never see this bestie again due to me changing schools. Thus, Harry Potter became my new best friend.

Have you read fanfiction before? What draws you to it? Or what kept you away from it?

Bianca: I didn't read fanfiction before getting into everything going on here at Black Girls Create. I don't know why. I guess I just never found myself on that side of the internet. Now I think I’m more open to it.

Delia: I’m a long-time fanfiction reader. I first started after the 5th book came out. At the time, it was just a matter of Harry Potter sparking my imagination and there being no material to satisfy it. So, I turned to the internet. Now, engaging with Harry Potter and the fandom in a creative way is almost second nature to me.

Connie: I didn’t start reading Harry Potter fanfiction until sometime after the series was over because I didn’t want to spoil the series as it was coming out. I think I tried in 2007, when the series first ended, but it didn’t stick. But a few years later, I read a few post-series stories. Usually shippery ones involving Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione, but I went through a big Lily/James Marauders Era phase and I occasionally read Remus/Tonks. For the romantic stories, as we discuss on #WizardTeam often, there wasn’t a lot in the text, so it’s nice to see others’ varying but often similar interpretations on how the canon relationships could have gone with more effort put into developing them. Plus I’m a fuzzy Hufflepuff.

Porshèa: I'd started reading fanfic during the lapse between books 4 and 5, began integrating them into canon thanks to some very vivid dreams, then promptly stopped reading because there were too many books to go for me to have those problems.

What made you want to start writing fanfiction?

Bianca: I was inspired by revisiting Harry Potter through #Wizard Team, by the short stories on the site, and the complete gas up I received when I shared my ideas in the Slack. The team is a wonderful place to bounce around ideas and everyone is really supportive.

Delia: I was really young (probably too young, admittedly) when I started reading fanfiction. I started writing it on a whim. It was very much, “Hey I want to do that, too!” so I did. Being that young, you really don’t care that you don’t know how to plot a story or that you haven’t even really finished learning about grammar. You just do it because it seems fun.

Connie: I’d never written fanfiction before Hogwarts BSU/#Wizard Team. I was content to lurk in whatever fandoms I was reading fic for. I think wanted to give it a try because of something Robyn and Bayana said on #WizardTeam, and that’s where my first fic, Do Black Wizards Nod, came from. The idea of whether the Black students give each other the nod and how they would deal with that. Then I kept getting prompts or fic bunnies and it feels so much easier than when I try to write original works.

Porshèa: I've recently taken to writing fanfic because I want to fill in the holes within the fandoms I love. I'm empowered to do so because of the community that BGC has curated, the validation of headcanons, and understanding that we're the best at crafting stories from our individual lenses.

What was your inspiration for your piece?

Bianca: The complete ball drop that was History of Magic in North America and J.K. Rowling ignoring valid criticism. Like most American fans, I was excited to see the wizarding world expand to include us. However, the fact that racism — RACISM — something that plays a major part in the development of the three largest countries here, isn't even recognized on a small scale is insulting to readers. You can't tell me that a country with a history as bloody and messed up as the U.S. has wizards of every racial background being besties. It's not realistic. I also understand that maybe J.K. Rowling felt unqualified to talk about it, but I believe it can be done in a way that is both careful and makes sense.

Delia: I’ve been preaching the good word of Deanmione since February 2018. Since coming aboard the ship, I’ve been surprised to find that I am pretty much the only person sailing on it. The existing fanfic of the pairing is sparse. So when To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before came out on Netflix, I fell in love again with the story (I had read the book) and the gears in my head started turning. Then, when #WizardTeam started on Half-Blood Prince, I realized that was the perfect fit.

Connie: I’ve written a few things now, but I like thinking about the Black students forming a group and watching out for each other. I was never part of a BSU, but in high school and college I went to predominantly white schools and found myself most comfortable around my peers of color. In high school it was just natural, gravity, but I think in college I sought it out more deliberately. So I could relate to Blaise’s desire to find/start a group to help him feel less alone on campus. I remember that feeling, though I can’t say I consciously channeled it when I wrote Umoja. Other inspiration included the idea of honoring Kwanzaa in a way that helped me connect with the holiday more than I do in real life, and finding a creative way to use each principal to tell a story. And further inspiration comes from Delia and the rest of the team being instigators.

"...if you want something written about Black wizards learning within the wizarding world to be done well, you've gotta roll up your sleeves and do it yourself."  -- Porshèa Patterson

Porshèa: The inspiration for my piece comes from the wandless magic conversations throughout the books — specifically when it comes to powerful wizards and house-elves — the disappointment that is Magic in North America, and Uagadou. All of the missing elements in these spurred me into writing, because obviously if you want something written about Black wizards learning within the wizarding world to be done well, you've gotta roll up your sleeves and do it yourself.

What are some things in Harry Potter canon that you would like to explore or fix?

Bianca: As mentioned before, we can fix History of Magic in North America. I think that exploring the wizarding world here could be pretty awesome. I'd love to see stories of Indigenous wizards, Mexican wizards, or a story of Japanese American wizards and wizard immigrants (especially if they are written by someone in that community). Why did they decide to come here and what have they experienced and endured since? Also, we need to get rid of that "Cursed" play and Dumbledore and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day prequels.

Delia: I started as a Harmony shipper, believe it or not. I read others, but that was my OTP. I was just so underwhelmed by the romance in the books. Since the series finished, my biggest sore spot has been the Epilogue. They went through so much trauma. How did they work through it to get to that happy ending? How on EARTH did Hermione end up with emotionally stunted Ron (sorry Ronmione shippers, it’s all love)? Why is Harry not the DADA professor? I'd also love to fix Leta's story. I wish she could have a fully fledged story that isn’t based in tragedy. A story where she lives and is happy. She deserved better.

Connie: Like Bianca said, the global wizarding community is one thing I wish we could fix in canon. Jo did such a poor job of thinking of anywhere outside of Europe and it really hinders the story when considering how global both the fans and the Muggle world, even in Britain, are. I also wish we could remove Fantastic Beasts and Cursed Child from existence. I wish Fantastic Beasts starred an actor of color for Newt and that it was romps in the jungle searching for beasts and perhaps treasure. I wish they were adventure stories set in the ‘20s a la Indiana Jones or the Mummy franchise and not…what it is.

Porshèa: While there's a lot that needs to be fixed — see everyone else's answers — I think I only have the patience to 'fix' the ways in which Black American communities practice magic, the integration of magic and modern tech — because there are too many Muggle-borns for this to NOT be a thing — and wizarding higher education.

Are there Black characters in other media you would want to write fanfiction for?

Bianca: As of right now, no.

Delia: I don’t really see myself writing outside of my own original work and Harry Potter fanfiction. Potter is the only world besides those of my own creation that I know well enough to write in. But who knows!

Connie: There have been so few Black characters that I relate to, and I find myself not reading fanfic leading them very often. I’ve read only a few characters that were Black in other fandoms, Abigail Mills from Sleepy Hollow and Chidi from The Good Place more recently. I think I also read some fic starring Tucker from Danny Phantom (throwback!) who the fans thought had good chemistry with Danny’s sister Jazz. But there are few characters in other properties I feel drawn to enough to write, which really makes me sad. Hopefully I get more characters to want to play with and can expand my fic reading beyond shiny white people problems (or anime characters, as was my fanfiction beginnings). Perhaps some day I’ll be drawn to Doctor Who fic for those Black characters, but it hasn’t quite happened yet.

Porshèa: There is a character from the A Song of Ice and Fire series that I relate to heavily, though we know very little about her. My goal is to start on a fanfic for her after completing the Founding Home series.

Do you think Black characters get enough love in fan spaces? Why or why not?

Bianca: It depends on who the story was written for. In predominantly white stories with white main characters, Black characters are usually thrown in as an afterthought, and it shows. The same goes with color blind casting and not adjusting the story to make sense for a person of color. On the other hand, you get stories written for Black characters and characters of color like in Scandal or Pose and there is this level of care that is woven into it that changes how the characters are viewed. Fans can't help but fall in love with a fully fleshed out character.

Delia: You can read Mel’s Critical Companion piece from this month for the long answer. The short answer is, no. At best, in fandom, Black characters are often overlooked, save for when they serve a headcanon for a white character. At worst, they are overly harshly scrutinized or rejected, even though they are often one character of color out of dozens of white ones.

"At best, in fandom, Black characters are often overlooked, save for when they serve a headcanon for a white character."  -- Delia Gallegos

Connie: Definitely not. I get sad when I think about how I perhaps perpetuate this lack of love by not talking about those characters enough or, more to the point here, not reading fic starring them. But also, those characters only have a few stories on the fanfic websites or don’t get as much screen time or development to work with. Or perhaps they’re not put in situations I want to think on too often, leading me to not even go looking for “fix-it” fic where writers fix whatever bad thing happens to them. And I think the stories I like with predominantly Black characters are in recurring works where I’m waiting to see where the actual author takes them. There may be something to the idea of me just being happy they exist and not wanting to mess with them too much. Two book series I think of are the Shadowshaper Cypher by Daniel José Older and Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. The worlds are so new and I’m just so happy to get these great characters that I’m not looking for anyone else’s take on them just yet, but maybe that will come down the line. In more established franchises, I definitely think Black characters don’t get enough love in the fandom nor by the writers/producers.

Porshèa: What they said. I do love that the actors who portray the token Black faces call out the Black fan appreciation they get, especially when Luke Youngblood and Alfie Enoch pointed out that they'd realized that the Black fans made a point to seek them out within the films during BGC-led panels at LeakyCon.

What is a character or theme in Harry Potter that you want to write about or explore in the future?

Bianca: I have a list of things that I would like to write about in Harry Potter, and it seems to grow everyday. New schools, founders, and histories. I'd also like to flesh out some characters like Mrs. Zabini.

Delia: I think even after To All the Wizards I’ve Considered Before is finished, there will still be more to be told of Dean and Hermione.

Connie: I’m interested in exploring more Blaise/Desiree as a flourishing Black couple in the wizarding world and what challenges in their relationship they may have to overcome. Also just showing Black love cuteness. I think beyond the BSUverse, Robyn and I keep trying to come up with some post-First War detective story, perhaps involving an original character or Kingsley.

Porshèa: After Founding Home, I'm going to (someday) flesh out my Parvati, Lavender, and others boss witch writers story, and my Dumbledore and Prince ‘90s fashion-off story. More after that, maybe?

Make sure to read our guests and other writers’ pieces on our Hogwarts BSU page. If you have fic you would like published, or if you would like to participate in Black Wizard History Month in the future, feel free to check out our submission guidelines or hit us up at weblackandnerds@gmail.com. Thanks for reading, and we hope to see you next February and all the months in between!