#trying to do the font but it wasnt too much . just like 30% of my power

[mgswuivxsy]

i won’t blame a soul for it, not because there is no one to blame, but because i don’t even know where to start, as every soul i’ve cared about and loved has watched me slowly vanish away from this world again but they never did anything about it, as my mother left me alone in this place like she used to do when i was six years old waking up in the middle of the weight realizing my mommy isn’t next to me , as my baby decided to tell me that i was right from the beginning, im not a person someone can love for the long term, im so hard to be loved , to be chosen for the long path, because at one point, you will realize im actually draining, and i have to many flaws that you would get sick of one day, and if you could love me for a day, you would get tired of me the next day, amd if you loved me for seven years, you would get tired of me at the eighth year, beacuse i was not made to be loved my dear, amd i told you from the start, you would stop loving me one day, so dont let me love you that much, because if i loved you i would never stop loving you, but i will have to watch you fall out of love with me, because im not madr to be loved, i can only love , i can only be too much and not enough, u could dissapear for years but i will still love you in every simgle day of them, but i would never let you know all of that, i woulf never let you know about the way i begged god for us to get better when i was thr one leaving you behind, because i didnt mean to do it in that way that time, i just didnt know what to do , my heart feels heavy as im wrifing these words, im in a bed that doesnt feel as comfortable as my own bed used to feel, i have no cuts all over my hands so you cant tell i have a bad thoughts, im not 30 kg so you cant tell that the only thimg i thought of today was the 500 calories im not supposed to consume , my baby it feels so cold amd i just wanna go home, but u dont even know where is my home anymorr, i dont even know where my owm soul is , so i can take it with me in a long journey to fimd our home, im so sorry my dear self, this wasnt what we fought for, this isnt anything close to what we dessrve to get after the long run, but ivr never wished for death as i did the last two month, and ive neverr been more scarwd of death in my whole life like i did tge last to months , so im sorry i cant take ypu somewhere far from here, amd im sorry i cantove it in this place, and im sorry that my life led to this point where there isnt a single soul that can hold me right now , or even tried to hold me for the past months where it felt like i was dying so slow, i miss relapsing so much, i miss throwimg up, and cuting holes in my skin, i was going to do it weeks ago, not aware of how many years has ive been clean for, but the silly thing, i couldnt get the razor out, it was just stuck, and i kept trying to get it out as she was calling my phone, but at the end i couldnt get the razor out and cut holes in my skin, amd i couldnt amswer her calls, and somehow i was ar the bathroom floor, as the razor is infront of me, and im cryimg for whatever felt like decades, i feel guilty for being scared of death, amd i feel guilty for not being sick, amd i feel guilty for her not hating me, and i feel guilty for the person i camt be for my family, i feel sorry for dissapointing them, for not being anything close to tge expectaions everyone has got for me, but i just wish to be sick, i just wish i can be sick, i just wish tommorow i wont be toi weak, and ill be able to throw out the heavy pain in my chest, throw it all up, and feel the satsfaction of the sore lungs and throat that hurts way too much, im so sorry baby but you couldve waited for me to get sick again before you fall out of love witg me, it wouldve made me feel proud, to be too sick for you to love , but now i font seem sick and yoy are falling out of love with me? huh am i that bad, you are to scared to admit it , but we both knew, it was never going to be me to fall out of love first, it was never me falling out of love, and two years ago..

[mezzaluca]

op you are in luck because i have so so many that i keep a discord server JUST to index them all. ill try not to list too many here though ^^;

writing/vocabulary

hiragana + katakana, from tofugu, also pronunciation

i cant really help too much with kanji, because i use a wanikani (a paid resource), but i do have a pdf of remembering the kanji. it teaches kanji by using memonics, which abroad in japan explains about.

if youre willing to do flashcards every day, there is an anki deck for the top 6k words. the tango n5 and n4 decks also give flashcards with basic sentences

i wasnt sure where else to put this, but the moe way has a 30 day guide to help you start learning japanese. even if you dont follow it, they also have a bunch of resources here

grammar

tae kims grammar guide is the most popular, but i have a few others that teach grammar:

beginners guide to japanese sentence structure

tokini andy's grammar lessons, following the popular textbook genki 1 (he also has lessons following genki 2, and the intermediate textbooks quartet and quartet 2)

cure dolly's organic japanese. if you dont like the videos, theres a fanmade textbook, which is basically written as a transcript with images)

game gengo isnt a full on guide, but he teaches grammar using lines from video games as examples, as well as talking about if certain games are good for learning japanese, or plays a small amount of some games while explaining each sentence. i like him very much <3

immersion

news articles in easy japanese

anime with japanese subtitles

most (i think) anime streaming sites also allow you to remove english subtitles. if not this one does

jo makos anime/games readability list, with some transcripts, anki decks, and so on. game gengo talks about studying with video games here

read manga in japanese, you can also switch between japanese and english at any time

free graded readers

japanese novels, also for free

free visual novels

you can buy novels/manga digitally from amazon.co.jp, but youll have to set a fake japanese address. just use a public location and you should be good to go. you can also get physical copies imported using your real address 90% of the time (in my experience)

pixiv also has a novel section and has both original works and fanfiction

misc

yomichan is a chome extention that allows you to hover over words to see their meaning, 10ten is the firefox equivalent.

make sure your font is correct, for kanji reading

japanese/english dictionary

miami university teaches you how to set up a japanese keyboard for windows 11 and macintosh, its the third one from the bottom

It’s 9 pm and I just decided that I gonna pick up Japanese.

I’m gonna take learning hiragana, katakana and some kanji really slowly to make sure I know them well before getting into the actual language. (I didn’t do this with 한글 when I was a beginner in Korean & I kinda rushed learning 한글 and I’m paying for it now with my terrible pronunciation and reading but I’ve definitely gotten better 😅😅)

That way I can also make sure to progress more in Korean and Spanish while not being too stressed out about another language.

I’m also not like insanely determined to learn Japanese as much as I am with Korean…. so obviously I’m gonna take it lighter than Korean.

I think Japanese will go pretty smoothly for me as Korean has nearly the same grammar structure (correct me if I’m wrong) and I’ve heard that knowing Spanish helps with Japanese pronunciation.

I’ve obviously expressed that I still suck at Spanish even after 3 and a half years of studying it, but I’ve been told my pronunciation is pretty good 👍

I think I’m also going to use Korean or Spanish to learn Japanese. So instead of translating straight to English, I’ll translate to either Korean or Spanish. (probably Korean because I’m better with Korean and the grammar is basically the same)

I’ve actually seen many polyglots do this method and they said it helps tremendously with learning a new language AND reinforcing the language they’re learning with, so why not give it a shot?

It was either Japanese, Thai or Indonesian and to be honest, I didn’t want to fool with Thai’s tones yet and I don’t have much motivation for Indonesian. Possibly in the future though ‼️

Anyway, if anyone who’s self-studying Japanese sees this, please recommend resources. I’ve gotten some resources piled up, but I always love to have multiple options because I’m picky about my explanations. 🙏

[duckiesdoodlesdelight]

ya like jazz

his epithet just summons a shit tonna bees   like buzz buzz 

[newgameplus]

i know its a Lot and u dont have to answer all of them but: 1, 12, 9, 16, 18, 7, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 37, 43, 46, 47, 50, 52, 55, 56, 60, 65, 66, 67, 69, 74, 77, 78, 80, 81, 85, 88, 89, 92, 93, 94, 95 ~ duck anon (💋!)

o wow okay ill put this under a cut

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?water bottles!

7. earbuds or headphones?earbuds

9. favorite smell in the summer?grass- i also like fog but theres nothing like a sunny day12-another ask

16. most comfortable position to sit in?either w/ both legs folded under me to the left, or cross legged, or one out one tucked

18. ideal weather?sunny!

19. sleeping position?on my side

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?depends on what im writing, but i do most of my writing for dnd planning, and i do that in a private discord server

21. obsession from childhood?certain fandoms, but also fireflies and constellations

23. strange habits?uhmm i crack my hands/wrists/fingers/shoulders a lot,, idk abt otherwise tho

24. -another ask

29. best way to bond with you?tbh just talking to me abt the same stuff i like i like

30. places that you find sacred?anywhere can be sacred, but streams, clearings in the forest, bridges

31. - different ask

33. most used phrase in your phone?prly just “ahahahahha” idk

37. suitcase or duffel bag?suitcase usually i think? im not fussed either way

38. lemonade or tea?lemonade!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?ouuu they’re both goooooooood...... both..... i rly want one now...

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?all of these r good depending on the day but cardigan then hoodie then leather jacket

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?a big shirt and pj pants! sometimes if im too hot ill take the pants off tho

47. favorite type of cheese?just cheddar for me!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?hhh i dont know for certain but all thats coming to mind is one time i slapped my brother in the chest when he wasnt wearing a shirt and left a Vivid Red Handprint and it was so fucking funny

52. favorite font?uhhhhhh “space junk”

55. favorite fairy tale?the one about the woman’s seven brother’s being turned into swans and she has to knit them sweaters of nettle? 

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?hgnfd just for my own sake, slice of life

65. any permanent scars?just derma ones

66. favorite flower(s)?morning glories, forget-me-nots, 

67. good luck charms?not specifically, just what ever im feeling in the moment

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?uhhhhhhhhhh i cant think of one

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?uhmmm idk,, i dont have many plants,,

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?sushi!

80. earth tones or jewel tones?jewel i think, but both are good

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?fireliess

85. fairy tales or mythology?mythology ( do love fairy tales tho)

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?sunlight and fairylights!

93. nicknames?pretty much any misspelling of clint that can happen

94. favorite season?summer and fall 

95. favorite app on your phone?uhh idk, the arcana? ive also been trying out pictocross lately

[tanzani-coil]

tagged bbys

Tagged by the wonderful @figment-fantasies​ <3

The Last: 1. Drink: coffee eyyy 2. Phone Call: my dad 3. Text message: my guy jakub bby 4. Song you listened to: sleepover by hayley kiyoko bc im trash 5. Time you cried: like. sometime last week when i was with quinn??? it might’ve been friday bc of a dumb outlander vs tumblr post i was just fuckin crying

Have You: 6. Dated someone twice: twice??? bitch i havent dated someone ONCE  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t had my first kiss yet!! <- same bby!!! 8. Been cheated on: No. they’d be dead if they did lmfao 9. Lost someone special: yah sucks bro 10. Been depressed: mate depressed is my entire personality 11: Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope not yet im hoping to get plastered w quinn one day List 3 Favorite Colors: 12. blue. like. baby blue or egg shell blue??? 13. black 14: white (my entire wardrobe is black n white monochromatic)

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends: @onelassieandherfandoms​ this asshole 16. Fallen out of love: nah like??? wasnt in love in the first place 17. Laughed until you cried: yES 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i mean. always 19. Met someone who changed you: i dont rly know??? i cant tell when i change 20. Found out who your friends are: eyyy yeah 21. Kissed someone on your FB list: gross

GENERAL: 22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: this is???? so specific????? i mean most of them i still have like. perhaps 10-20 online friends on there i havent met up with yet so 23. Do you have any pets: never had any </3 always wanted a cat and a doggo but. parents hates animals so i gotta wait till i move out 24. Do you want to change your name: yah, my birth name is like. rly feminine and long and pretentious n ive been going by my nickname for the last 6 years so much that my birth name isnt rly??? i dont rly associate it with myself 25. What did you do for your last birthday: went out for a meal with my fam. dont have enough friends to rly do anything else lmfao 26. What time did you wake up: i mean i woke up at about 9ish, went back to sleep, woke up at about 11 again, then was on and off sleeping until 12:30 when i got up 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: homework bc my teachers live off my pain 28. Name something you can’t wait for: seeing quinn again, new skuldug book, new season of outlander, 29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: today 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my insistence on self isolation lmfao 31. What are you listening to right now: my mom jenna marbles trying to get one (1) kill on pubg 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yah 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: art block!!!! good fucking god i havent drawn anything in like. two months. and then after that i cant remember the last time i drew anything for me because i wanted to and not for homework smh 34. Most visited website: this hellsite 35. Mole/s: got loads of em on the side of my face, but thats the side of my face that my hair/fringe covers up so??? could be worse i guess 36. Mark/s: birth mark on my right shoulder which i love a bit too much, a round patch of darker skin on my deltoid(?) where i got shot with a paintball and it’s left a scar, a scar from a shaving cut on my kneecap, and like. the unfairly over-abundance of stretchmarks on my EVERYWHERE 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a horse 38. Hair color: dirty blonde and blonde 39. Long or short hair: longish??? covers my nips at this point 40. Do you have a crush on someone?: uh 41. What do you like about yourself: uh?????? 42. Piercings: none, they freak me out??? but if i were to get any, it’d have to be a helix(?) piercing. i’d fancy like. a thick ring piercing if that makes sense 43. Blood type: do i look as if i know 44: Nicknames: george, but thats only if ur close to me 45. Relationship status: single and lonely as fuck lmfao but thats probably best, im just not built for relationships 46. Zodiac: sagittarius 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show(s): person of interest, orphan black, outlander, the 100, brooklyn nine nine, orange is the new black, rupauls drag race, 49. Tattoos: none yet, but i rly fancy “be brave” in EXACTLY the same font as the skulduggery books, on the inside of my right wrist 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: um>?? i mean not rly??  52. Hair dyed a different color: i haven’t yet, but i want like. a lighter blonde ombre??? bc my hair is lame as fuck and i want to do SOMETHING with it 53. Sports: omf no 54. Vacation: i went to majorca a couple of weeks back just as the heat wave fuckin hit (rip me) 55. Shoes: tesco converses or black boots 56. Eating: biscuis 57. Drinking: coffee, with water inbetween bc im thirsty as fuck 58. I’m about to: do :))))) homework :)))))) 59. Waiting for: school to start up again. if i have to do homework i wanna do it actually AT school bc i cant focus for shit at home, but i can get so much done with the school facilities so 60. Want: to see quinn again i miss her dumb face 61. Get married: i want to tbh but. not built for that sort of thing 62. Career: ahahahaha jesus fuck i have no fucking clue lets not go into this

WHICH IS BETTER: 63. Hugs or kisses: HUGS. I FUCKIN LIVE FOR HUGS 64. Lips or eyes: eyes 65. Shorter or taller: i mean???? depends on the person but typically taller 66. Older or younger: older 67. Nice arms or nice stomach: i????? 68. Sensitive or loud: man idk. both 69. Hook up or relationship: relationship bc im a sap 70. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant bc i have a crippling fear of authority

HAVE YOU EVER: 71. Kissed a stranger: nope 72. Drank hard liquor: nope 73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 74. Turned someone down: nope. i’d be so lucky lmfao 75. Sex on first date: bitch i’ve never been on a date let alone 76. Broken someone’s heart: nope 77. Had your heart broken: ahahahahahahahahahahaha 78. Been arrested: nope 79. Cried when someone died: yep 80. Fallen for a friend: ahaha  hahahah  hahahahahahahahahahaha

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 81. Yourself: well someone fuckin has to 82. Miracles: i mean??? i’d believe it if i saw it 83. Love at first sight: i believe that you can have an instant connection or chemistry with someone which would then lead to love, but like. love at first sight has only rly ever applied to pretty emaciated people so 84. Santa Claus: nope 85. Kiss on the first date: i mean?? nah

OTHER: 86. Current best friend: i have like. three friends?? all of which i’d consider my best friend i think 87. Eye color: blue but with like. yellow on the inside??? which. having googled is apparently called central heterochromia  88. Favorite movie: oooo. probably spirit stallion of the cimarron 

i mean. all the people i would’ve tagged I think @figment-fantasies tagged anyway so like. have fun folks

[sherlocks-bitch-moriarty]

1 - 70 c:

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

HAaaaa. Nope. We’re all a messy mess here.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Hope.

03: Do you regret anything?

See Number 2, aaaand In 7th grade i distanced myself from everyone and surprise surprise thaTS WHEN . I NEEDED PEOPLE (reAD HOPE)

04: Are you insecure?

doesdysphoriacount yes

05: What is your relationship status?

ha.

06: How do you want to die?

*shrug* dont think about it much

07: What did you last eat?

fruit roll up 

08: Would you want to know what happens in the future if you couldn’t change it?

nah. then there’s no motivation to do anything

09: Do you bite your nails?

yes but im trying to stooop

10: When was your last fight?

probably this morning but i wasnt directly involved

11: Do you like someone?

see number 2

12: Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Why?

yes every night theres literally no reason

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

see number- i m kidding. i dont hate anyone

14: Do you miss someone?

Gabbi. yes. 

15: What would you see in the Mirror of Erised? (What do you most desire?)

see nuMBER-

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

neutral.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope.

18: What are you afraid of?

abandonment, being alone, the dark, bugs, uhhhh......

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

hell yeah victorian london i just wanna go 

20: Where was the last place you made out with someone?

lol whts that

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

project diva X module grinding and maybe Jumin’s bad endings

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

no. 0

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

nope, 0

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english, art, band, gym.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

see number14

26: What are you craving right now?

mor e fruit roll upS

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

many. 

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

not tha t i know about been accused of it though, roleplaying with friends aint cheating jfc - our characters werent even dating

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

probably .

30: What’s irritating you right now?

sweeney todd project

31: Does somebody love you?

probably. i dunno

32: What is your favorite color?

blueish green

33: Do you have trust issues?

eyup

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

drew/v fanfiction. i wrote down the idea for math class tomorrow. 

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hope.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

depends on who you are but yeah

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

its easier to say ‘i forgive you’ but to m e neither

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

nah

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

lol

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

proabbaly as a kid? 

51: What is one book everyone needs to read?

i dont read a lot but the hotel on the corner of bitter and sweet was pretty good. small font though.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

not really but its comforting.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

read mysme headcanons and then draw rika

54: Is cheating ever okay?

nah

55: Are you mean?

depends on who you are, but usuallly i don thave the heart to be mean. im more likely to stutter and run away.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

a grand total of 0

57: Do you believe in true love?

nope.

58: Favorite weather?

snowyyyyy

59: What is your perfect day look like?

walking home in the snow with an acoutic playlist and it s just p r e t t y 

60: Do you wanna get married?

depends. never really thought about it

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

ahahno

62: What makes you happy?

explain.

63: Would you change your name?

yesss to david 

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

lol

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

politely turn them down the best i can

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

what is my complete self ?? im never all of me at once

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

if were talking sex its hope, if were talkign gender its,.. still hope.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

hope.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

no.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

hope.