#trying to cover my bases here... I could talk about anything gf related forever just because the thoughts flow like water.

[abyssalzones]

experiencing Disabled Rage, so i would like to ask if you have any bits and bobs about abw!ford's eye (or. lack thereof) for me to chew on like a dog

ooh good question... I will do my best to assuade your rage with some thoughts of mine, one disabled to another.

worth noting I do not have experience with missing an eye so it is of course possible for me to get something wrong here, in which case: sorry. (Lot of fucking words below the cut. also tw for discussion of traumatic injury, particularly the medical aspects of eye injuries)

general medical/background information:

I'm actually unsure if it's an enucleation (removal of the eye) or an exenteration (removal of the whole socket including optic nerve) with plastic surgery to recreate housing for a prosthetic

the reason I'm unsure is because I imagine there would be a pretty nasty scar left behind due to the violent nature of the injury but I don't know if they would just scoop out the whole thing due to nerve damage? I'm not a surgeon and this is a cartoon so I opt for easier narrative answers, in which case more likely enucleation.

keeping that in mind I think even if ford Could hypothetically get plastic surgery with his fancy shmancy oddology money he's more likely to leave any gnarly scarring (that doesn't interfere with his health) as-is... a reminder of what happened, maybe?

initially he wears an eyepatch while recovering + going through the process of being fitted for a prosthetic and then it just kind of becomes his brand, I think it makes for a nice parallel to stan... where stan (in the main timeline) is wearing a fake eyepatch (concealing things but not Really concealing much of anything, she's still the same grunkle you see on the surface) ford actually is covering up secrets in an effort to protect himself but he also ends up owning his Weirdness brand. y'know. it's symbolic

more disability specific stuff:

adjusting to the eyestrain is a Bitch And a Half, especially considering ford as someone who does a lot of writing and illustration. I think it would fuck up his journaling in the sense that he'd stray to the side of the page he can see without realizing it and leave a noticeable gap. knowing him he'd train himself out of that habit but I could see it being frustrating

oh baby you thought those "things I see in the periphery of my vision" hallucinations were bad before huh. this guy's hallucinations have a name and everything. bill might as well have his own condominium apartment in his blindspot even if he isn't a tangible problem in his life anymore

I don't think the injury would've been deep enough to hit brain tissue but I can't imagine any optic nerve damage would help in regards to ford having a potential TBI. he's Mr Symptoms to me but in particular I think he's sensitive to light and probably has more coordination issues than main timeline ford

fiddleford and stan (or lee, in the case of this au where I like to imagine she'd start using a more butch-y name) both pick up the habit of staying to the sighted side of ford, though this would be awkward for oddology publicity photoshoots where obviously they'd want ford in the middle as the face of the company... cue ford bumping into whoever is unfortunate enough to be in his blindspot. a lot.

with that in mind I think ford probably feels pretty frustrated and embarrassed by the new limitations considering how much he's prided himself on his independence in the past. it takes a long time for him to let fiddleford or lee help him with things like shaving (particularly difficult because he can't just focus his good eye on the other side of his face in the mirror, obviously. and no he isn't allowed to just set his face on fire) or even just reading if his eye is tired. but part of this au is him allowing himself to be looked after, so...

it's also difficult sometimes just for the painful memories it brings up. it isn't just a clean hole in his face, there's signs of a struggle. there's always that unspoken question of how it happened-- how do you avoid your status as a victim of violence when it's literally written on your face? but then if it looked neater, would it magically erase the fact that it did happen? would it just make him feel worse, more like he's hiding the end result of the worst mistake of his life? so without the eyepatch he feels very vulnerable.

fiddleford will plant a kiss on his brow sometimes which makes him feel a little better (avoiding the scar itself because it's sensitive for both psychological and nerve-damage reasons)

when the twins are old enough to start spending more time around their uncles/aunt I could imagine dipper finds it spooky and theorizes as to The Mystery of Grunkle Ford's Missing Eye (sort of like how he fixated on stan's "tattoo") whereas mabel is like waittt can you get fake eyes in different colors? what if you had a cool marble pattern in there. like these

I think he'd pick crystal or neptune

this has been Eyeball Talk