#try to find my motivation of writing these

[bittersw33t-lotus]

Little Life

Ghosting Series pt. 3

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem! Reader

Cw: pregnancy stuff, reader is female, cursing (let me know I I missed anything)

A/N: sorry if this is very short the chapters may be pretty short just so my motivation to keep writing can stay.

Part 2 here

“Alright hon, if you can lay on the bed and lift you shirt over you belly please.” Dr. Raven says, the woman pointing to the dull looking patient bed with thin paper lining fitted over the top.

You follow her words and sit down on the bed, the cushion was surprisingly comfortable to sit on. You bring your shirt up over your stomach stopping at your rib cage and lay back waiting for Raven to prepare for the scanning. You watch as she brings out a plastic bottle you assumed was the gel, as she opened the plastic cap as she looks at you. “Okay, I’m going to put this on your abdomen. Be prepared, this will be cold.” She says as she squeezes the bottle over your stomach, the bright translucent blue gel slithers out the opening and trails down towards your stomach.

The moment it makes contact with your skin, your stomach retracted back at the cold viscous material. You shudder a breath and laugh a bit. “You weren’t lying.” You joked as Raven smiled and chucked at your response.

“Always takes them by surprise.” She says before she finishes squeezing the bottle, pulling it away and closing the cap back on. Placing it down on the table beside her she grabs the transducer clicking a few buttons and the screen turns on. She places the nub against your abdomen and spread the gel around your stomach and looks at the screen seeing the scan coming through as she adjusts it to hover where your uterus is.

You watch the screen feeling a bit anxious as you watch trying to figure out exactly what you were seeing, after a couple seconds you soon immediately spot a little white blob. A baby.

“There it is. Your baby.” She tells you as you stare at the screen in awe. That’s really inside you. Your baby slowly growing by the second, yours and Simon’s baby.

“So tiny.” You say as Dr. Raven nods to your words.

“You’re only eight weeks currently, it looks like you and the baby are doing just fine so far, baby is healthy and growing, overall you’re both doing great. I’ll provide you with some prenatal vitamins for you to take. I did notice in your readings, your blood pressure is a bit high than we’d like it to be so I need you to make sure you’re not overworking yourself, do more things to keep you calm and not focus and do things that cause you such distress if that’s possible. Other than that, you’re all set and good to go. Do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Raven says as she takes a few pictures of the scan to print out for you.

You breathe out in relief, the baby is all good. You figured the high blood pressure was definitely caused by the whole situation with Simon so you don’t know how you can make yourself forget about it, on top of that you’ve also been worried about finding a place to live and trying to figure out your financial situation now with Simon out of the picture. You take a deep breath and nod at Dr. Ravens advice. “I’ll be sure not to.” You tell her with a small smile as she hands you a paper towel to wipe off the gel, which you take.

“Would you be comfortable with telling me about the cause for your mental or physical wellbeing may be? Anything that maybe I could help you with if possible.” She asks you; you can spot the concern in her eyes when she brings it up.

You shake your head and ignore the feeling you felt as she brings it up but regardless you smile and shake your head. “Just trying to deal with not having the father in the picture. He decided he didn't want to be around." You tell her as she nods, understanding your words.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She tells you as you simply shrug your shoulders pulling you shirt back down.

"it's fine, think we'll be better off without him anyways.” You tell her. It's true, to an extent, at least that’s what keep telling yourself. You know you can do this all on your own. It won't be easy, but you hope you can manage. But deep down, you know you'll never be okay not having him by your side. He’ll miss out on so much, like watching your baby grow, learning and growing along with the baby as that baby also learns from you. You both won’t grow old together like you both wanted, with a bunch of animals, but with the baby included, maybe one or two more if things had worked out in the end.

You finish up the remaining paper work you had to sign and received your vitamins. Dr. Raven hands the ultrasound pictures to you in a white envelope and you make your way back to the lobby where Jared waited, still sitting and reading the pamphlets. He looks up as he notices you approaching and smiles as he stands up. “How’d it go?” He asks you.

You hold up the envelope with a smile. “It was great, got to see the baby, doctor said that they’re healthy and everything looks good thankfully. Just have to focus on not stressing myself out so much.” You tell him as you both make your way out of the building and into the parking lot.

“That’s great to hear. I’m sure Stacy already told you but she has a surprise in stock for you but she’s wondering if you have anything nice to wear.” He asks you as you approach the car.

Opening the car door you think for a minute before you nodded. “Yeah, I should.” You tell him. You’re sure you can find something. You took everything with you when you left Simon’s place, all your things are still in boxes save for the necessities that you need, but you’re sure you can find something.

On the drive back you spent the entire car ride back home staring and looking at the ultrasound picture, the little blob that you still couldn’t grasp was your baby, just still needed some more months to grow before you can meet them and that made you anxious. You don’t think you could wait that long.

“What’re you hoping for?” Jared asks you, steering the wheel as he switches to the next lane, glancing at the photos in your hand.

You think about it for a moment, it hasn’t crossed your mind surprisingly. Either one would be great, there was a moment where you dreamt of having a baby girl with Simon. You can’t lie, the sight of Simon being a girl dad made you all giddy and warm. Then thinking about a little boy, one that looked like a copy and paste of Simon would be so cute. You smile as the possibilities ran through your head, of course you’re just being delusional, you wouldn’t be able to see that happen ever. Just a thought in the back of your mind.

“Honestly either would be great. I don’t mind what I have, as long as the baby is healthy that’s enough for me.” You say tucking the photos into your purse, holding it close to you.

Jared smiled and nodded. “Sounds great, you’ll make a great mother. I’m sure of it.” He says to you as you smile, the reassurance from Jared was something you didn’t know you needed but greatly appreciated.

“Thanks.” You say to him, before you know it you’ve finally made it back home.

Once you arrived home you got out the car and walked into the house. Right away Stacy approached you with a smile.

“How’d it go?” She asks you as she gets up from the soft couch and walking over towards you and Jared.

You pull out the envelope and pull out the multiple pictures and hand them out for her. Upon seeing them she awe’s as she examined the little bean like fetus. “Little baby.” She coos before looking at you. “How far along are you?” She asks you.

“Eight weeks. I’ll be able to see the baby’s gender by fourteen weeks.” You tell her as she hands back the photos to you. Placing them in you bag you can see Stacy smile as she walks towards the island counter of in the kitchen. “Oh, what was that surprise you had in store?” You ask her.

She props herself up on the counter with her elbows and looks at the time. “We decided to treat you to dinner tonight. We have a reservation set for six tonight. You feeling up for it?” She asks you.

You take a moment to think and nod your head a bit excited to hear you’ll be eating at a restaurant feeling your hormones go crazed at the thought of food. “Yeah, I’ll get ready now.” You tell her with a wide smile. You haven’t eaten out at a restaurant in a long time. Last time you went was with Simon for the last anniversary together.

Making your way to your ‘room’ you take out a box with your fancier clothes. Opening the box you pull out multiple tops, bottoms, and dresses. Finally choosing one you like you slip the dress on and admire yourself in the mirror. You bump is bulging out a bit, you take the time to admire it.

You took the time to shower, do your make up and get dressed right on time. Stacy looked at your outfit as you did a 360 showing off your outfit. “You’re not even half way into pregnancy and already look like a milf.” Stacy jokes, you laugh as you grab your purse.

“Don’t tell me lies Stace.” You tell her as she shrugs her shoulder.

“I only tell the truth.” She says as you both walk out the door and towards the already running car where Jared sat in waiting for you two.

“Fuckin’ hell.”

A click from the lock sounds from the front door as it swings open. Simon’s bulking frame walks through the door as he scans the house. It’s dark and eerily silent.

When Simon came back, he felt like shit. His heart dreaded coming home to see your answer. He hoped you stayed, at least long enough till he came back, he planned to move out the house and leave it for you if you decided to keep the baby. It would give him a peace of mind to know where you were and know that you and the kid were safe, and you could use the extra room and space for the baby. But, even if you got rid of it, he doesn’t know if your relationship could ever be the same.

However your answer was first made clear when your car not in the drive way. His heart dropped but he took a deep breath, ‘Maybe she’s at the store.’ He thought. He hadn’t texted you either to let him know he was coming home today, he couldn’t bring himself too.

You’re not here. It’s something Simon suspected but he still feels dread overcome him as he steps into the house and notices the little things around the house that belonged to you were gone. Your shoes were gone, your car keys, the blanket you left on the couch is gone. He walks into your shared bedroom, which is now his bedroom, opening the door and he’s stunned with how much of an eye sore it is. His room is so plain now, like how it looked before you moved in with him.

He remembers how much you wanted to decorate the place, especially the bedroom, you hated how lifeless the whole house looked. It didn’t take much to convince him to let you decorate saying , “Go crazy.” And you did. Literally. You decorated adding a touch of you but keeping it to an extent to not overwhelm Simon. You hung up a few decorations and posters in the bed room of bands you and Simon both loved. A few shelves displaying your books and trinkets. Your touch added to his home making it more like home for him. Like you were his home. He liked, loved it if he dare say, he worried you would over do the place but it look perfect. Like you.

But now as he looked around the house, he sees the walls are bare and plain. He feels plain now, empty. Sad. He looks through your closet and drawers only to find them completely bare and empty.

He walks into the living room notices your shoes are gonna as well from the rack, and the little table beside the front door, he noticed the white folded paper on the little ceramic plate that held their keys, walking over he pick up the paper seeing his name written on it in your hand writing, unfolding it reveals page with your writing inked into the material.

‘I know we made a promise but this is something that takes two to do, accidents happen and I know you never wanted children and you knew it was still on the table for me, I’m thankful that you gave me a choice, even if it wasn’t easy. I don’t want to drag you into something you never wanted but it still hurts that I have to chose between you and this baby. I figured it was best for the both of us if I left, you can keep your home and I can keep my baby. I hope you stay safe out there Simon and please take care of yourself. I still and always will love you and I’m sorry.’ Simon checked the back of the paper for anything else but it was empty. You didn’t say where or what you were going to do and it scared Simon. Were you safe, do you have a place to stay, do you have people to help?

He knew you weren’t really in any contact with your family, your only friends were Johnny, Gaz, and Price. His ‘friends’ were yours. For the most part Simon knew you didn’t have anyone to help you or look after you and the baby. “Fuck!”

Taglist <3

@wise-owl @sandyseagullsip @mileyraes @nicolebarnes @nikkyevansdochen22 @mattmurdock-wife24 @demonking-69 @mooievis @lunamoonbby @cherrycosmos392 @eevee-of-eternity @makimamybelovedwife @venavanup @amberpanda99 @simplyymee98 @callmeluno @stormy-stardust @ssc7514 @badbitchthings @moldypeaching @asteria33 @going-through-shit @blarba-girl @leonsgirlie @andoraamore @nobodycanknoww @thegreyjoyed @natashamea18 @kylies-love-letter @blackhawkfanatic @leehoonii-i @xenop0p @sh1ga-to3s

[puck-luck]

Ooh omg congrats on the 1K!!

I would like to request 5 of clubs with Jack Hughes please. (Maybe with an exhibition kink 🙈)

This isn't quite as clubs-like or exhibitionist, but I've been feeling slightly out of the mood today (I think because I had to make a lesson about the American relationship with Native Americans during colonization... not the most uplifting topic). Hoping for something better tomorrow!

Also I'm watching a 2.5 hour video essay about One Direction's history right now. I love that people can make whatever content they want, and they usually give it their all :)

after typing that i'm realizing that statement is really meta since i'm writing nhl fanfic. sigh. ok fine i guess i enjoy my own content whatever

Warnings: fingering, exhibition, Paul Mescal in Gladiator II WC: 592

You’ve never been one to keep trivial secrets from Jack. He’s your boyfriend and you are thoroughly against miscommunication. Your openness has resulted in plenty of fun jokes for Jack, the latest of which has landed you in your current predicament. You’re in the bougie movie theater that Jack always splurges on, sitting in a plush recliner and watching Gladiator II. Jack thought this would be a fun date night, because– well– you love Paul Mescal. 

It’s something about his nose. It’s very Roman, which you find sexy. Jack knows this, and knows that you’ve particularly enjoyed the costume design of the film, even joking with you about dressing up like a gladiator for Halloween. 

He hadn’t mentioned it again until this morning, which is when he told you that he’d bought some tickets for the film. It had actually been out for a while now, so the theater is relatively empty, but you’d never had the time to see the movie. Jack, after all, had wanted to see it with you… probably because he wanted to pull something like this.

He knows that Paul Mescal is your celebrity crush. You’ve been repeating that to yourself since you realized that it’s the motivation behind Jack’s movements. His touch had been casual at first, just tapping his fingers against your thigh. He’d convinced you to wear a skirt by claiming you’d be going to dinner afterward. You expect that his real reason is that he wanted easy access.

His fingers are inside of you now, petting over your walls. He’s teasing you, moving slowly when Paul Mescal isn’t on screen and thrusting into you at a quicker pace when your crush graces your vision with his presence. Jack also particularly likes drawing circles over your clit as he moves inside you, constantly keeping you on the edge.

“Jack,” you hiss, ready to try and convince him to stop, even though you only half-want his movements to cease. You’re flushing a bit, eyes darting around the theater to make sure no one is watching you. There are only a few other groups in the theater: another couple two rows ahead, a group of university-aged girls near the middle of the theater, two middle aged women in the front row. All in all, there are less than fifteen people in this theater. 

“Be quiet, baby. I can’t have everyone hearing you,” Jack murmurs. He shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth, continuing his movements. He’s acting completely normal, even as your cunt squeezes him tight. 

You bring your hand down and clutch his wrist, trying to halt his movements. 

Jack turns to you. “Do you really want me to stop?” He asks quietly. Paul Mescal starts speaking on the screen and Jack’s eyes flicker away from you to check the screen. His thumb increases its pace against your clit and his fingers flex rapidly inside of you. 

You whimper a bit, clenching down involuntarily. Your knuckles turn white while your fingers grip his arm. Your hips jolt.

Jack quirks an eyebrow. 

“No,” you admit, loosening your grip and allowing him to continue. 

“Just pay attention to Paul,” Jack encourages, smirking at you and brushing a kiss against your cheek. “I’m just here to help you along, baby.”

You scoff quietly, cringing a bit at his words. 

Jack clocks your reaction, his face breaking out in a tiny smile. He giggles to himself, tracing the line of your jaw before mouthing against your throat. “Don’t laugh. We’re having fun. You, me, and your other boyfriend.”

[cloudyskydreams]

Hello I have a request how would all the papyrus’s react if the reader came up to them and gave them a spontaneous kiss and walked away like nothing happened like a tease

Ps love your writing keep it up with the good work 🙏🏽

Ahhh hi! Nice to see you in my inbox hehe this is a fun ask and I had some motivation before work so I thought I'd get it done! Thanks for the kind words! Hope you enjoy ::3! Just saw this said the Papyri but I went ahead and did the sans too lol.

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Undertale

Sans:

Chuckles as he watches you walk away. He doesn't do anything about it for a bit before he pulls the same thing with a little extra spice. He waits till you're doing something before coming over and pulling you close to him pressing kisses along your jawline till he kisses you on the lips and then walks away with a satisfied grin. What happens next is up to you.

Papyrus:

Blushes from the kiss and watches you walk away in shock. He thinks about it for the awhile not really realizing you're teasing him and just assuming you wanted to surprise him with a kiss before coming up with his own plan to kiss you back. He sets up an elaborate scheme that has way too many parts and it all ends with him giving you a little smooch. It's all really dramatic and a little goofy but in the end you got a kiss from your sweet datemate!

Underfell

Red:

Blushes bright red and then smirks before chasing after you. When he finally corners you he presses you up against the wall and slides a leg in between yours. "can't get away that easy sweetheart." He purrs as he leans in and kisses you passionately slipping his tongue into your mouth the first chance he gets as his hands slide down your body.

Edge:

Stunned for a second before smirking and grabbing you by the hips to pull you back into his chest. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING PET." He'd say with a husky voice in your ear as his hands firmly hold you against him and he pressed himself into you. He bites down gently where your shoulder meets your neck and then releases you. "KEEP BEING A TEASE AND I'LL HAVE TO PUNISH YOU." He says lovingly and then walks away with a smirk.

Underswap

Blue:

He leans into the kiss as you pull away and looks at you with a small pout before smirking as you walk away. It's so on. The rest of the day is full of Blue teasing you. "Accidentally" rubbing up against you or whispering naughty things in your ear while you're doing something. You may have won the first battle but that's because he let you, now he's determined to win the war and he won't stop until you're begging him to go further.

Stretch:

He blushes from the surprise kiss but returns it quickly and tries to wrap his hands around your waist but you're already backing away. "aww honey don't be a tease." He says as you walk off with a satisfied smirk. He waits a bit before enacting his revenge, which is him pulling you onto the couch into his lap and refusing to let you go as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck.

Horrortale:

Axe:

He stiffens up when you kiss him out of no where his thoughts short circuiting. He blushes a nice deep blue and simply watches you walk away his eyelight expanded to fill his socket. He stands there for a bit before continuing on with what he was doing. He'll probably forget it happened so it's easy to get him again and again and see his adorable reaction.

Willow:

He smiles at the kiss also doesn't really realize you're teasing him. "Thank You Dear I Love You" he calls out softly as he watches you walk away. He thinks about the kiss all day until he works up the courage to find you and kiss you back. He'll walk up shyly and try to figure out how he wants to do this as with his bad back he could bend over but it would hurt. So he picks you up underneath your armpits gently and presses a kiss to your lips softly. Then he sets you down turns a bright orange and makes a smooth escape.

[write-to-tell-your-story]

Today, I'd like to share a quote from Tolkien that I have often found useful whenever struck by the urge to question the value of the stories which I like to write:

"The Lord of the Rings has been read by many people since it first appeared in print; and I should like to say something here with reference to the many opinions or guesses that I have recieved or have read concerning the motives and meaning of the tale. The prime motive was the desire of a tale-teller to try his hand at a really long story that would hold the attention of readers, amuse them, delight them, and at times maybe excite them or deeply move them. As a guide I had only my own feelings for what is appealing or moving, and for many the guide was inevitably often at fault. Some who have read the book, or at any rate reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible; and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer." -JRR Tolkien, LotR Foreward to the Second Edition

If you find yourself wondering whether or not you should write the story that most pleases you, in the face of external criticisms or concerns as to the value, depth, or ability of that story to hold a reader's interest: I've found these to be excellent words to live by for combatting this particular anxiety.

Once you've gotten past the first hurdle, however, there's no guarantee that everyone left will love every aspect of your work even when they enjoy the narrative as a whole. On that subject, Tolkien once again provides words of wisdom to live by:

"But even from the points of view of many who have enjoyed my story there is much that fails to please. It is perhaps not possible in a long tale to please everybody at all points, nor to displease everybody at the same points." [emphasis mine] -JRR Tolkien, LotR Foreward to the Second Edition

You cannot please everyone; it is an impossible goal that could drive anyone mad. There must come a time in any writing at which point it is not merely okay, but necessary to set aside the question of what writing choices might best please other people and focus instead on the question of what writing choices will please you the most.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Help, I am getting stuck in this cycles over and over without actually finish any story that I want to write.

I get ideas or AU that make me interested to write -> realising that i need to lay down some setting or background to make story worked, so I started plotting -> executive dysfunction/ procrastination kicking in because I have trouble of putting ideas in my head into paper and due ‘perfectionism complex’ I get boggled by detail -> I stared at empty document for several day -> I lost interest and motivation in writing for several day/week -> cycle started over again.

I can’t exactly force myself to write because it will extend the period of “I stared at an empty document for several day -> I lost interest and motivation in writing for several day/week” to months. Any suggestion how to deal with this cycle?

I do actually have some suggestions! I have several, in fact.

One: If you are suffering from creative burnout after being overwhelmed, try just giving it a break. I know this is the simplest option, but seriously, step back and engage with some new media for a few minutes. You may get ideas, or at any rate, your mind will have the chance to unwind for a bit. And do know, that sometimes some things do just have to cook. I've left fics for months at a time and come back with a banger chapter after letting it be and getting my mind sorted out for a while first. If you really love it, you'll be back eventually.

Two: Play into that need to make it right by hyperfixating on ONE aspect of the thing you are working on. It may sound counter productive, but I've found that by bunkering down with one specific detail or plot piece or even bits of the lore, it can actually help spiral out into other subjects that need to be addressed. Like, while working on lore for an au, it can get really overwhelming to think about ALL of the world. So instead, I'll pick one character, one time period, one plot point. Then, I'll expand on that one thing until it starts to tie in with other points. From there, I'll just move from point to point, connecting the pieces of the web. Here's an example:

Premise > supporting premise > supporting premise > tie in lore.

Starscream is Winglord of Vos > He was forced into the position and separated from his brothers > He is a brilliant leader but bitter because of his role > He joined up with Megatron after Vos burned in a need for revenge.

Once you hit the tie in lore, you can swap focus to begin working on the other character or subject. This will help you tie everything together in a cohesive manner (at least it helps me). Being able to make everything connect up may fight that feeling of being overwhelmed.

Three: Talk to someone about it. I cannot stress enough how brilliant some of my friends have been in helping me refine a concept. Find a willing victim Friend, and tell them about your concept. Let them give you feedback and ideas. The more fun you both have, the better. More thoughts and ideas will give you more to play with. And if nothing else, even if you don't continue with the idea, you won't feel quite as defeated because you got to talk about it.

[orangepanic]

Finished Fic: Smoke

It's finally done! My fic for this year's @wipbigbang is one of my longest-running WIPs and also one of my personal favorites. My apologies and thanks to anyone still waiting to find out what happens to Equalist!Asami and her unexpected lover - I hope the ending is both satisfying and believable.

Story Title: Smoke

Fandom: Avatar: Legend of Korra

Summary: When General Iroh is captured during the Battle of Yue Bay, it's up to Asami to extract information from him that will win the Equalist revolution. By any means necessary.

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death, suicide attempt, major character injury

Characters: Iroh II, Asami Sato, Hiroshi Sato, Amon | Noatak, Amon's Lieutenant, Tarrlok, Mako, Lin Beifong, Zuko, Izumi, Original Equalist Characters

Pairing: Iroh II/Asami Sato, other background pairings (some canon, some not)

When I Started: February! February 2021, that is. Eek.

How I Lost My Shit: Most people who know my writing know I'm a die-hard panster, so while I had a loose idea of how this fic would go from the beginning I of course didn't write that. This was my first time writing a real Enemies to Lovers (like literally they try to kill each other a lot) and I found that as a consequence of that I needed to make changes to the story along the way in order to fit the genre. A big decision was to slow down the action to make the romance believable, and another was to flesh out more of the Equalists and their operation in order to avoid a "good guy good and smart, bad guy bad and dumb" dynamic which wouldn't support the kind of story I wanted to tell. All this in turn led to a time skip and whole second half to the fic that I hadn't anticipated followed by a few long breaks myself while I tried to figure out where the story needed to go from there and who with. Mostly because the main characters both wound up killing people I hadn't planned for and so there was a whole legal thing I had to puzzle through that eventually ruled out the original ending I'd had in mind. Nobody listens to me, you know? And I now know an awful lot about immunity and extradition.

How I Finished My Shit: @chocolate-cringymuffin, an existing reader of this fic, incredible artist, and dear fandom friend, agreed to be my artist for the WIP Big Bang. I could NOT let them down. There's really nothing more motivating than fan art from someone who cares about your story. I might not have finished this fic without their enthusiasm. I certainly wouldn't have finished it today.

ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR BOMB-ASS ART!!!! HOLYYYYY CRAP!!! It's so beautiful I'm crying. They're so happy. I also love the choice of scene, which comes at a part of the fic where I think both of them really commit to letting the past be the past and their new life together.

A/N: Thank you so much to the mods of @wipbigbang for putting on this event again! It's a great forcing function. I also want to give a shout out to @alishatheninth who, while not a beta reader, gave me a lot of feedback that I needed to hear about what was working and what wasn't early in the fic and in general has been an invaluable critic and cheerleader on this grand adventure. Alisha, I'm lucky to know you and I'm sorry I killed your favorite LOK character in a truly horrible way. Mostly.

[trans-native-tokipona]

adding onto some of the points as a trisana person!! same tw applies here!!

goal weights: don't hesitate to break your big ugw into smaller gws. if you use pounds, i'd recommend to place your smaller gws every 10lbs until your ugw, if you use kilograms i recommend 5kg instead. also don't hesitate to lower your ugw. mine used to be 75lbs (around 34kg), now it's 20kg (about 44lbs), it's pretty common to lower your ugw after a while

fasting: start small, holy fuck please start small. don't immediately start doing 2 days fast otherwise you're very likely to fail. intermittent fasting is good, i recommend tracking it with an app (i use zero personally) but honestly just using a timer app is fine too. my biggest advice in general (i'll talk more about it in the food section) is to first observe your current habits, and build your new habits around them. if you're already used to not eating breakfast, you can already start with 16:8 fasts daily, and slowly start pushing your lunch later or your dinner earlier. personally my preferred way of fasting is OMAD (one meal a day) because i live with family and can't get out of eating dinner lol

food: this might be controversial but hear me out. don't immediately start restricting, especially not low restriction (low res = low amount of cals, some people might see it as not restricting a lot but this is how i use low/high res). instead, give yourself a week of simply tracking your food, without counting the cals, to get yourself used to doing it. then, one week of counting the cals but not giving yourself any goal. look at the numbers, try to see if there's a pattern (for example, eating more on weekends, etc). keep this pattern throughout your restriction. start slowly, SLOWLY, getting those numbers down. i repeat, do not suddenly restrict to 500 a day, you're setting yourself up for failure. and the "doing it slowly" part is especially useful if you're still living with your family because slowly eating less and less is less suspicious than suddenly barely eating. i personally find using an app for calorie tracking not that useful, i like writing it down in a notebook, but a few app suggestions i have are myfitnesspal, calory, cronometer, and lose it

other stuff: WATCH!! ED-RELATED!! MEDIA!! to the bone is a classic, my personal favorite is ★ving in suburbia/th!nsp1ration, the first is available on netflix i think and the second is on tubi (use a vpn if you're not from the US). that, or watch wl shows. supersized vs superskinny, secret eaters, my 600lbs life, it's your fault i'm fat, etc... other than my 600lbs life they are all on tubi too, not sure where to find my 600lbs life without tlc tbh. i know the first two are also on youtube if you prefer that

specifically, if you decide to watch supersized vs superskinny, observe the superskinny's habits, replicate them. in the second and third season, they also have a segment where they follow anorexic people's treatment, it's also full of behavior to replicate. documentary about anorexics are a goldmine in that way.

i could have sworn i had a post saved somewhere with a list of ed media but i can't find it. oh well. edit: found it (link) :)

more other stuff: workout, for the love of everything unholy workout please. if you're not a bug workout person (same) just pick two or three exercises you know you can do, and do 200 of them in a day.

i do recommend having a notebook to track your wl and keep some advices, maybe cals in specific foods you eat semi-regularly, some motivation, etc. having a physical object that is decicated to wl helps me focusing on it, it also serves as a good distraction.

anyway i've yapped too much. last advice go on twt and find some of those "how i lose x kg/lbs in y days!!" they will have more advice

>> Transan0rexia tips!

tw: eating dis0rder!!!!

>> first of all i recommend thinking what you want your ultimate goal weight to be and always keep it mind! >> you can also make shorter term goals when it comes to weight to help you be motivated! (for example if your ultimate goal weight is 90 lbs then a good goal weight could be 110-100 lbs) >> Fasting: i recommend starting small and working your way up! >> so i would start with intermidiate fasting (fasting for like 16 hours and having a 8 hour window to eat) >> then you can start 24 hours fast!! >> drink lots and lots and lots of water when fasting, not only does it keep you full but dry fasting is super dangerous! >> try to keep yourself as occupide as possible, keeping yourself occupide helps with not thinking about food as much!! >> foods: have a calorie limit! >> it can be any cal limit!! is up to you! >> you can have a few meals per day that are under your limit or have one big meal ones a day thats is your limit, which ever works <33 >> i also reccomend having a food ritual, it helps with making feel eating like a task and makes you want to eat less! >> some examples of food rituals: drinking on cup of water before during and after a meal, taking a sip of water after every bite, chew 30 times, have 20 bites of your food, ect >> the food rituals can be anything, its just to make eating as tasky as possible!! >>if possible i recommend making a 3dblr acc >> theres lots and lots of tips there! >> some abbrevations(?? idk how to describe it) that are use on 3dblr! : ugw: ultimate goal weight, gw: goal weight , cw: current weight , hw: highest weight , lw: lowest weight , sw: starting weight, b/p: binge purging , c/s : chew and spit (if there any i miss let me know!!!) >>also look into bmi! bmi is your bodies mass percentage!

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

What do you think would happen if all the incarnations of Mothra interacted?

Oh, that would be a lot of reunions to each other!

I mean, certainly.

Their roles are primarily the best of their decision to maintain their status (Queen from MV Mothra).

Showa Mothra is the first so, she knew she was "proud" to see the generations of hers had become famous. (The old lady still has her guts of kicking enemies' butts)

Heisei Mothra is kinda glad to meet them all, and I include Battra here (in my own AU, Mothra and Battra were lovers). So far, her son Mothra Leo...well...let's just say he is far more beyond excited to meet them (he has trouble dealing his 'mild identity crisis' is because his form can change; they don't mimd him being the only male moth - same with Battra - of their incarnations). Of course, Battra and Mothra seek to raise Mothra Leo as their son.

From the Millenium, I think I should split up:

GMK Mothra was quiet, IDK why but, she has some 'issues' of dealing with this reunion. Technically, she is the only generation of Mothra that won't interact much (she will if there's something that interested her). Anyway, she would question them like "is this really necessary to meet you all?" Her anger issues is the only way you should not to mess with.

To Millenium Mothra, it is far more beyond calculative than she expected to see her generations. I mean sure, she is refer to as Showa's only daughter so, she had no probls at all.

And down to MV Mothra! Well, the Queen is very pleased to meet them all, they admired her wings because it displays her symbiosis to MV Godzilla, which is why Showa told her to have children, and it embarassed her because they need to maintain the balance first before...going to their next step. Which suited her fine, yet.

BONUS!!!

About the Reiwa Mothra from Godzilla: The Planet Eater...

Reiwa doesn't interact them too much. She is rarely seen hiding from who knows where...but, she is happy to see them all in one place.

ANOTHER ADDITIONAL BONUS!!!!!

About Mothra's Shobijin:

SHOWA: Seems fine to them meeting with the others.

HEISEI: OOOOOOHHHH I'M GONNA SPLIT THEM. The Cosmos and the Elias. The Cosmos are preferrably like to interact the Showa. The Elias, well...seems a difference. Belvera may have a hatred with humans, but she deeply cares for her younger sisters. Moll and Lora are most likely to see how well they can handle their interactions.

MILLENIUM: The Shobijin in Millenium. They are the replacements of the Showa, so they follow their tradition from their priestesses' generations.

REIWA: Maina and Miana. Close call, they prefer to hid themselves away in a secluded home where they only interacted with Reiwa Mothra.

MONSTERVERSE: Dr. Ilene Chen and Ling Chen. Honestly, they found fascinating to see these small little priestesses that has a connection with Mothra from their Era.

And that would be all!

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

[zivazivc]

my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters

[my-dear-hammy]

Oh yes, definitely a hall of fame. They are so much fun to read, but then you remember a thing that you really liked about that version and you wonder if you should change your current version again to include that bit but it doesn't work and then you get sad. Sigh!

And yes! Waking up and the motivation is gone. Big oof. And I can't bring myself to publish an unfinished work! (If the motivation left me before the excited preemptive publishing stage.)(Currently beating that excitement back with a sledgehammer on my current project.) And usually, it takes all the motivation to write anything with it for months. And I know it's gonna be months before writing will strike me again. It'd be a miracle of the inspiration for the same story to make a come back. (The only exception is my novel work. That rattles around like a coin in a can.)

Thank you for the well wishes! Hopefully I get through it. I honestly can't handle writing things that aren't lore heavy. I don't know why? I do, actually. It's the world building. I love the world building. And how characters mesh into that world. But I'm lucky that this is a big enough fandom that if I have a question, someone already has the answer or I know exactly where to find it. (That's why I can't write dpxdc. Cause I don't know the lore. And I can't write something I don't know the lore to. What if I break canon? Or WORSE! I can't break canon intentionally)

I hope the motivation for your current works stick it through for you! I'm excited to see the pieces you end up publishing. I'm currently trying to force mine to stick around longer by not consuming anything that would grab my attention too much. (Like newly updated shows. There's a couple waiting for me and it's torture.)(Also can't touch the art. The art will suck away all of the creative juices)(Bad art) <3

My goodness Cork! You're posting chapters faster than I can keep up! I think I'm still on 8! (It's going to be so amazing when I finally have time enough to read and just go through all of them real quick!) Hope you're making sure to leave time to take care of yourself <3

Hehe

Thank you!! I hope you like it when you get time to read it all at once <3

Honestly, I'm a very anxious writer, which basically means I hate posting works in progress. It makes my brain go crazy with the need to keep going and keep working until it's done because somehow I always end up seeing my writing as a responsibility (I have issues, yes). My way of solving that particular problem is to never post anything until I'm actually fully done with the main plot (which is why I started posting Married to Winter only after I finished chapter 6 in my drafts, the rest of the chapters were only additional and thus didn't raise my anxiety).

That is to say, I've written Neon Green and Cold Blue in its entirety over the course of one week - back in September I think - before I ever posted the first chapter, so the unposted ones are just chilling in my drafts right now. Which is how I can stick to a schedule in the first place lol

It's also to say that I'm currently slowly working through writing yet another fic that is based off of my Rat Danny and The Guy Who Won't Die posts and is spiraling in some unknown direction :з

[fatedroses]

Finally I can post the comic for Adventurer!Zenos that has taken hold of my brain for the past week.

AKA a man who is currently running off the fumes of the literal souls of the damned being very desperate to be out of the void he was stuck in (and for the first time actually being able to just enjoy something mundane), only to get absolutely overwhelmed but all the stimuli he had just... ignored until now.

[rawbin-hsr]

OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.

You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Aventurine x Reader

You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)

Read part 1 here !

CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.

Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!

Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )

Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that. 

In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?

He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.

But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to. 

And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in. 

Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you. 

“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe. 

He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly. 

“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that. 

“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again. 

“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)

“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts. 

“Maybe we should.”

You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer. 

Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot. 

You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.

Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless. 

“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”

The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.

You kiss his neck. He shudders. 

“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask. 

Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.

“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)

“Your hand is shaking.”

It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.

(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)

“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.

“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”

Squash. Slice. Tear.

Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms. 

(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)

“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.

“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”

“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”

“I’ll deal with it, then.”

Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it. 

He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that. 

(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)

“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”

Cut, slice, slash.

Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.

He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you. 

He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is. 

“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”

“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”

He smiles.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

---------------------------------------------------------

My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro

[glorious-destruction]

no one talks about the fear that you forgot how to write after taking a break from your wip

[cobaltfluff]

what is his deal ???

[cuubism]

hello friends. despite my 9 million existing dreamling wips i'm feeling the need to branch out a bit for the sake of my mental variety. what pairing other than dreamling should i write a little something for? could be romantic or platonic

other way of phrasing i guess: any pairings you really want to see more fics for in the fandom?