#try to find my motivation of writing these

[freshenthusiastlight]

Hi!

I'm the friend of the user whom you keep trying to not mention in your original post, but everyone here acts as though you know her and all her dirty little secrets.

Now, I'm not going to go on a long-winded discussion of the post in question. I've already read it, along with the tags and additional reblogged posts of people who added their two cents into this.

I know enough to share my thoughts on this.

You know what she did when she confided this incident to me today? She broke down. In tears. She deleted her Tumblr and X (fka Twitter) accounts. She's now only told me all of this after being physically and mentally exhausted from what you unleashed upon her.

And you know what I want to say to you?

Congratulations, you won! You exposed her as the monster that she is and thus made sure that she won't harm anyone else on the Internet! You're a hero that deserves a ticker tape parade! All the historians and scholars shall write down into their papers of your heroic deeds! You will be remembered!

And yet…I do wonder one thing about you: You've had a lot of time spent stalking her account to gather 'information' about her in order to find weaknesses to exploit. I'm quite impressed by the free time and determination that you have to do so.

But in doing all of that, I question what exactly was your ulterior motive to do so. To create a monster out of her so that other people will attack her, obeying your words without questioning it. So was it worth it? To do all of that?I'm not here to be an expert on the history of Antarctic expeditions. I'm here as her friend. A friend who is angered by your actions of what you've done to her and let you know what I think of you.

Oh, you can stalk my blog if you want in order to dig down and create a monster out of me. It's evidently not the first time you've done this anyway. Now that I let the cat out of the bag, it's not as if there is much that I can do to defend myself. This is just a throwaway account anyways. Good luck even finding me.

That said, if you did identify me, then I will stand up and give you a standing ovation. If I am to be seen as a monster to you no matter what, then fine by me. At least I am a monster who can think for themselves. And I am a monster who will stay by the side of a friend whose words were twisted out of her control.

How to avoid reblogging the Nazi Antarctic Expedition

There are posts on this site which use images and video from the Third German Antarctic Expedition (1938-1939), the most popular of these having over 22k notes.

Example:

The expedition was on the order of Hermann Göring and aimed to claim part of Antarctica for Nazi Germany, so that its fishing and whaling resources could be used by the Reich. Its logo featured a swastika and it was supported by the Nazi regime.

Additionally, members of this expedition were also members of the German armed forces during WW2. It is important to remember that Nazi Germany's war crimes were not only committed by the SS, but all members of the armed forces committed them and/or were complicit, whether they joined voluntarily or were conscripted.

Therefore, you hopefully do not want to reblog content about it without realising what it is. But how can you tell?

This is mostly concentrated on the posts of one user, but here are some things to look out for:

- anything tagged with "schwabenland" or "Third German Antarctic Expedition".

- anything mentioning that the expedition pictured took place between 1938-1939

- if there is no information, and you can't identify the expedition pictured, consider a reverse image search and/or not reblogging

- don't engage with these posts/blogs in future and if u see a beloved mutual reblogging one of these posts without realising, consider sending a DM to let them know.

[hazard-c-horror]

Doodling (SAMS) characters infected/possessed by Hazard. Ft. Modrolith

Eleventh Solar and Nexus

(<- 1-10 Intermission) 11-Sol:Nex

Again, just some random doodles.

While doodling the first sketches I was rereading @theallianceofcelestials ‘s fanfic Scientist Eclipse’s Adventures and I thought, ‘what if the Sea;Fam meet Hazard. And since I was already drawing them, I chose Solar and Nexus to the the forms they took

Meet SCP-8763 an object class scp, that can produce portals to interdimensional planes of existence when a certain wave frequency is provided. This leads to SCP-8763-5 & SCP-8763-21. A solar and weirdly altered lunar themed daycare animatronic from the same dimension.

Unfortunately SCP-8763 was destroyed in a lab accident, were scientists were abusing its power. Bring beings from multiple dimensions into their world. The Foundation is working to trying to find more SCP-8763 or piecing the previous one back together so they can return the SCP- home.

SCP-8763-5 was one of the first byproducts of SCP-8763 found. And at first thought to be docile. But it’s only docile when entertained. Fortunately the O5 remembered Eclipse and his new SCP family. And transferred SCP-8763-5 from its previous site to Eclipse’s. Assigning it to him in hopes that he could get it permanently or decently subdued.

I tried finding an SCP that could make portals to different dimensions. Closest one was SCP-1310. But it wasn’t good enough so I just made my own.

Here are just some minor sketches, but I’ll draw out more and explain more later. In its own post. I just wanted to introduce it first, even if it’s a bit off topic. might also try to write a small fic about this interaction. But Motivation is sucky

[imaluvsj7]

✿ ─── BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS : 박성훈

SYNOPSIS : where sung𝒽oon wants to make his new classmate his girlfriend

PAIRING : 𝓅ark sung𝒽oon x 𝒻em reader; GENRE : fluff, 𝒽eadcanons, classmate to bestfriends to 𝓁overs ; WC : 744

───── 【 𝒾mas’ note 】 ❍ :: this was requested, anon I hope it's what you wanted if it didn't turned out good I'm sorry it's my first time writing headcanons :⁠^⁠)

WARNINGS : english is not my first language!

DISCLAIMER : This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

CLASSMATE SUNGHOON! who was awestruck when you introduced yourself as his new classmate.

CLASSMATE SUNGHOON! who wanted to befriend you but due to his shy demeanor he couldn't muster up the courage to approach you.

CLASSMATE SUNGHOON! who was envious of his friend Jay when you approached him during lunch hours but soon became flustered when you recognised him and talked to him.

CLASSMATE SUNGHOON! who made the decision to talk to you after his friends, Jay and Jake motivated him and boosted his courage — “look she knows you, idiot and even talked to you so you shouldn't miss out the chance or at least try to continue your talking stage.”

CLASSMATE SUNGHOON! who has successfully made you his friend, now feels happy and giddy everyday thinking about his interactions with you.

CLASSMATE SUNGHOON! who is no more just a classmate but your best friend after 4 months you both are getting closer to each other.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who treats you way better than anyone else among your loved ones, who makes you feel seen and visible despite the crowd.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who is observant and notices every detail about you, who makes sure to you are always eating well after knowing you love different types of foods.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who treats you like a princess and always prioritizes you — asking what you want from the mall when he is out shopping with friends, bringing you random small gifts which remind him of you.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who drops not so subtle hints about his liking towards you. Always blushing, giving small smirks, holding you close to him, finding any excuse to be with you.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who is always present during your vulnerable and anxious moments, holding you close to him and whispering soft and loving words to you.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who wipes your tears and cooks you / orders you your comfort food and cuddles you to sleep.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! whom people assume is your boyfriend but you don't correct them leading him to collect hints.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who introduced you and invited you into his friend group leading you to become friends with some lovely people.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who couldn't help himself but admire you and adore you every chance he gets.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who takes you out on a dinner as a surprise date to make you his girlfriend after 8 months of waiting.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who gets shy when you accept to become his girlfriend but makes sure your first kiss of the relationship is memorable.

BESTFRIEND SUNGHOON! who is no longer just your best friend but also your boyfriend, a proud boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who isn't much into pda but holds your hand, gives you hand and forehead pecks occasionally.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who doesn't care about other opinions about your relationship, rather looks forward to being a good boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who makes you feel like the happiest partner through his loving gestures, actions and words.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who cannot believe how he managed to make you his girlfriend.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who invites you to his skating performances and practices because for him you're his good luck charm.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who looks up to you with bright eyes and shy grin waiting for you to praise him and tell him how good he is and how proud you're of him.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who has his own insecurities but is open to communicating with you to build a healthy relationship. Who always talks about his day to you and listens to your talks.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who cannot keep his hands to himself with you alone in his dorm, always sliding his hand down your hips or gripping your hips.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who loves when you wear his clothes because he thinks you look so stunning and beautiful and can't help but make you sit on his lap while making out with you on the couch.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who has not only impressed your friends but also your parents — who want him to be your husband too.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who blushes to the thought of being your husband but has the thoughts of making you his wife when the time comes.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who has his own flaws and makes some mistakes in your relationship but regardless always looks forward to acknowledging them and improving himself for you.

BOYFRIEND SUNGHOON! who loves you dearly and wants to spend all his life spoiling you.

© 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐕𝐒𝐉𝟕 2025 | DO NOT PLAGIARISE ON ANY PLATFORM

💌 ─── NOTE : please leave feedbacks and lemme know if you want to be added in my perm taglist :)

˙ . ꒷ 🍥 masterlist daily click . 𖦹˙—

[drdemonprince]

im really envious of u. I like reading your writing and the stories you tell about sex and stuff and it sounds like u have a lot of fun. I don’t no if I will ever be able to live like that. im autistic and very inhibited is probably the best word. I find it hard to meet new people and go new places. a few times I have gone to local munches but been too introverted to say anything to people and I just sit there feeling self conscious and silly. they have been really nice. but I haven’t made any friends or anything. I feel like I need someone to take me under their wing kinda and give me an in. It seems like I’d really enjoy it a lot but don’t no how to make my way in. I don’t feel confident enough to just use apps and hook up. especially as im so new to it all and dont no what im doing really. I’ve read what you say about going to the social gatherings and stuff but what if im too shy to say anything? I don’t no how to be more uninhibited but I feel like that’s what I need.

please keep in mind that I was not doing any of this shit until I was like 32 years old. up until then I was in only a handful of relationships, mostly ones I had stumbled into through no agency of my own, and I had never really lived out any of my kinky desires. hell I had barely even gone out to a club or a concert or anything on my own, certainly not very often, let alone a sex club or something like that. I had to practice socializing on my own terms, and trying new things alone and scared and finding what was valuable in them despite those feelings a lot. like many many years a lot.

I didn't really venture out into the gay bath house or any of the cruising bars until I had a partner who was interested in taking me to them. that provided me with an in and an emotionally safe anchor with which to explore. I am also indebted to friends who showed me around places like steamworks and explained to me the nonverbals of cruising, which I then went ahead and put in my own cruising guide.

to this day I still have a much better time at events like puppy play night when I go with some homies and can spend some time joking around with them and using their support to help meet people before eventually breaking off and wandering into a back room to get laid. I still routinely have nights where I will go out on my own and do very little but sip from my drink and stand around awkwardly for four hours, maybe dance a bit, and go home.

cruising is an exercise in patience. you are never guaranteed any particular outcome or experience. you work with what nature gives you, and you learn to find some appreciation in simply being there and bearing witness. 9 times out of 10 you get turned down or there just isn't a spark. happens on the apps too.

shooting your shot and getting turned down is a successful consent negotiation. everybody has done everything correctly and it ended the only way that it should have. there's nothing to do but dust yourself off, not take it as some dramatic declaration of your life worth, and go at it again.

I recommend visiting cruising spaces with a friend. and just going purely for voyeuristic and anthropological reasons the first couple times. The only way you become a person who can do this stuff is by doing it, a fuck ton of times. message a lot of people. Go to a lot of events.

at some point you have to find the very act of going to be motivating and enjoyable in some way. thankfully I am fascinated by humans, enjoy dancing, like having a little drink or an edible and wandering around, and treat it all as very valuable writing fodder. you have to find what set of motivations work for you. because it's not about instant success or gratification ever. It is always a lot of waiting and watching and wondering what the night is going to bring, and making peace that often it will bring nothing at all except for being alive amongst others.

keep at it though. start really small. I am so glad that I got to this point, because yeah my life is really interesting and sexually gratifying and fun. but it also is entire weekends of just standing around nursing a drink and doing nothing and looking like an NPC. happens to the best of us

[snugglesquiggle]

why aren't you reading seek?

but for real though, today's chapter was so damn good it motivated me to at least try to write recommendation. i need more people to read it - someone who follows me has got to be willing to give it a try

seek is an original science fiction story set in the radically distant future, updating roughly every week (or lately, closer to every two)

the world is barely recognizable, practically post-scarcity and full of cybernetic modification and AI

in fact, one of the pov characters is one such AI, and the other is so heavily modded i've seen one person derisively call her a cyberfox. this hardly scratched the surface of what's interesting about them and their situation, but this is just a quick recommendation

you can read the first chapter here: https://seekwebserial.wordpress.com/2024/10/18/0-1-0-hack/

i'll admit, the start can be a bit shaky (this whole "guy wakes up in a hostile high-tech facility with no memory of what's going on" setup is definitely not the most inspired of starts, and this is all the more dubious when it's so far still unclear what role he'll play in the long run direction of the story)

furthermore, the structure of Seek is ambitious - and questionable in a way that strains against the foremost issue of a rotating pov stories. there are three perspective characters, each essentially living in entirely different worlds and "eras".

as a result, it feels at times like reading three different novels interleaved, with little tying them together. now, a sense of interconnection has begun to emerge, a dozen odd chapters down the line, but yeah

if you stick with it, though? there's incredible payoff, several intensely satisfying character moments in a fascintating world futuristic to the point of becoming alien

the blurb goes:

Despite our best efforts, few survived faster than light travel. None survived the trip back. So we took a different approach altogether. We started bringing the universe to us. There’s no point. What hasn’t changed in the last four hundred years won’t change in our lifetimes. There’s no point. We’ve solved it. Everything humanity needs, it has. We’ve reached the finish line. There’s no point. Turn off the lights, close your eyes, and cover your ears, nightmares come manifest. Three storylines from three individuals, worlds and eras apart.

as i try to write this recommendation, i'm finding myself trying to summarize all the cool things it does - how society and culture is reshaped by this abundance of resources and automation, and the gross proliferation of advertisement and surveillance that results. or talk about the emphasis the cybernetic augmented place on the fidelity of their mods. but at a point it feels like i'm just doing a worse job of telling the story

so i think the one thing i'd point to as my favorite part of Seek is its portrayal of the integrated "onboard" AI that quickly become more widespread over the course of the story.

there's such a creativity and attention to specificity when it comes to portraying how different people relate to their onboards, down to the formatting flourishes the text uses to set off and differentiate scenes where several different intelligence conversing

but i digress

it isn't just the worldbuilding that gets me, but the character writing, and even the plot has started to heat up - as i said, the reason why i'm writing this now is because the newest chapter (2.6.w) is easily the best in the serial

i have further thoughts on its painstaking tension, the suffocating powerlessness on multiple levels but they don't exactly mean much if you aren't caught up

so yeah. i love this story and i'm hoping for it to garner more readers

if i have to end off with one last piece of bait - we have one protag become taylor swift times a thousand and the other become a terrorist. things get crazy

get in here!

[moontheoretist]

What's the most interesting is that it's the most visible in extended media that are considered part of Legends. The wider the world of the Star Wars becomes the less Jedi's idea of Balance in the Force makes sense, because it becomes very clear that what they say is biased.

For example: in MMORPG game SWTOR you can play as a Sith. You can actively pursue the Light Side and game will even acknowledge your efforts in your class storyline (Sith Inquisitor gets named Darth Imperius when LS, and Darth Occluss when neutral, while Sith Warrior gets a scene where they meet evil version of themselves and can just choose to oppose the Dark Side) while at the same time having a side storyline about how you the Sith can change the Empire from within, but how it isn't easy because there are many Siths who would oppose you and even try to kill you or consider you a traitor for pursuing that.

The funny part tho is that this thing about being killed for your light side alignment or your neutrality is quickly undermined by the fact that even Dark Council themselves doesn't care about your alignment and in Inquisitor's case even gives you a sit among them NO MATTER what title you are given. In their head your LS alignment means that you prioritise the wellbeing of the Empire while DS alignment means that you prioritise your own selfish agendas above the Empire's needs.

What's more, even the Sith Code written by David Gaider for this very game doesn't reflect any of the ideas associated with the Sith like the willingness to commit manslaughter for fun or revel in the suffering of others. If anything Gaider has failed at writing a Sith Code that would imply that despite saying that he was basing it on Mein Kampf, as his Sith Code reads more as freedom manifesto of slaves than the racial whitesupremacist ideology of "supreme Aryan race" from Mein Kampf.

Check:

"I have feelings (which are bad I guess)"

"please spare me this “all Sith are evil and self-serving and only care about themselves” nonsense"

The conclusion is that as long as you don't superimpose the desire to go around and kill everyone in your way on your Sith life as many but not all Siths do, you don't have to be evil by default if you are a Sith.

You can be the nicest, most generous and loving Sith in the Galaxy while at the same time never stray from the Sith Code as it's written.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.

You need passion to have the motivation (strenght) to fight with your oppressors. And via that passion and spreading the knowledge of your movement you gain political power. If you amass enough of it you can gain victory (i.e. rights) and it's when your servitute ends. You're free.

See? The Code can be interpreted in such a way too.

Tha main issue within a Star Wars World in regard to the Force, how it's seen and how choosing the side affects the people and the way in which they're seen is ultimately George's Lucas view of the Dark Side as Cancer. He already designated Dark Side as the thing that needs to be chopped off. He never considered that he could have made Light Side representative of Life and Dark Side as the one that represents Death, therefore both of them create balance, because Life can't exist without Death. Whenever there is a massive fire, there is later a fertile soil for the new plants to grow. Circle of Life etc. I know what was his intention. He wanted DS to represent fascism and show us all that DS and Sith by extension need to be removed for us to never again repeat the cycle of fascism (as it happens now in real life), but what he ended up with is bunch of elitist evangelicals preaching that their religion is the only right one and if you oppose their views you are simply evil.

It's a no brainer that any minority would find a fault with that.

“plagueis saw qimir and osha so that means he’s gonna kill them!!1” first off, not all sith believe in or follow rule of two, just like not every witch believe in threefold law. second, out of any sith you could learn from, plagueis may be one of the most legitimately chill of them. he doesn’t care about galactic dominance or whatever, he just believes in sith beliefs & wants to exist his way and do his cool force experiments. nothing’s set in stone, stop acting like anybody who disagrees with the jedi is doomed for suffering for daring to not agree with the jedi’s holy worldview. it was old and tired then and it’s straight up mold now. just stop.

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

What do you think would happen if all the incarnations of Mothra interacted?

Oh, that would be a lot of reunions to each other!

I mean, certainly.

Their roles are primarily the best of their decision to maintain their status (Queen from MV Mothra).

Showa Mothra is the first so, she knew she was "proud" to see the generations of hers had become famous. (The old lady still has her guts of kicking enemies' butts)

Heisei Mothra is kinda glad to meet them all, and I include Battra here (in my own AU, Mothra and Battra were lovers). So far, her son Mothra Leo...well...let's just say he is far more beyond excited to meet them (he has trouble dealing his 'mild identity crisis' is because his form can change; they don't mimd him being the only male moth - same with Battra - of their incarnations). Of course, Battra and Mothra seek to raise Mothra Leo as their son.

From the Millenium, I think I should split up:

GMK Mothra was quiet, IDK why but, she has some 'issues' of dealing with this reunion. Technically, she is the only generation of Mothra that won't interact much (she will if there's something that interested her). Anyway, she would question them like "is this really necessary to meet you all?" Her anger issues is the only way you should not to mess with.

To Millenium Mothra, it is far more beyond calculative than she expected to see her generations. I mean sure, she is refer to as Showa's only daughter so, she had no probls at all.

And down to MV Mothra! Well, the Queen is very pleased to meet them all, they admired her wings because it displays her symbiosis to MV Godzilla, which is why Showa told her to have children, and it embarassed her because they need to maintain the balance first before...going to their next step. Which suited her fine, yet.

BONUS!!!

About the Reiwa Mothra from Godzilla: The Planet Eater...

Reiwa doesn't interact them too much. She is rarely seen hiding from who knows where...but, she is happy to see them all in one place.

ANOTHER ADDITIONAL BONUS!!!!!

About Mothra's Shobijin:

SHOWA: Seems fine to them meeting with the others.

HEISEI: OOOOOOHHHH I'M GONNA SPLIT THEM. The Cosmos and the Elias. The Cosmos are preferrably like to interact the Showa. The Elias, well...seems a difference. Belvera may have a hatred with humans, but she deeply cares for her younger sisters. Moll and Lora are most likely to see how well they can handle their interactions.

MILLENIUM: The Shobijin in Millenium. They are the replacements of the Showa, so they follow their tradition from their priestesses' generations.

REIWA: Maina and Miana. Close call, they prefer to hid themselves away in a secluded home where they only interacted with Reiwa Mothra.

MONSTERVERSE: Dr. Ilene Chen and Ling Chen. Honestly, they found fascinating to see these small little priestesses that has a connection with Mothra from their Era.

And that would be all!

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

[rawbin-hsr]

OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.

You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Aventurine x Reader

You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)

Read part 1 here !

CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.

Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!

Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )

Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that. 

In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?

He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.

But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to. 

And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in. 

Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you. 

“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe. 

He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly. 

“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that. 

“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again. 

“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)

“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts. 

“Maybe we should.”

You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer. 

Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot. 

You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.

Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless. 

“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”

The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.

You kiss his neck. He shudders. 

“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask. 

Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.

“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)

“Your hand is shaking.”

It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.

(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)

“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.

“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”

Squash. Slice. Tear.

Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms. 

(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)

“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.

“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”

“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”

“I’ll deal with it, then.”

Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it. 

He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that. 

(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)

“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”

Cut, slice, slash.

Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.

He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you. 

He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is. 

“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”

“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”

He smiles.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro

[zivazivc]

my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters

[fatedroses]

Finally I can post the comic for Adventurer!Zenos that has taken hold of my brain for the past week.

AKA a man who is currently running off the fumes of the literal souls of the damned being very desperate to be out of the void he was stuck in (and for the first time actually being able to just enjoy something mundane), only to get absolutely overwhelmed but all the stimuli he had just... ignored until now.

[glorious-destruction]

no one talks about the fear that you forgot how to write after taking a break from your wip

[chrollogy]

step on me, fatui harbinger!yue 🙏🏼

[cobaltfluff]

what is his deal ???

[char-lie-spirals]

Hello my dear followers, I am trying to pump out as much writing as humanly possible right now because i finally found the motivation, but I'm already a bit lost as to what to work on so! You get to help me decide!

*feel free to name a fear for the last option however you see fit - comments, reblogs, asks, DMs, so on. Even if you don't pick that option, you can share your thoughts, still!

I'm also open to other ideas, so long as they include my favorite guy :]

Also woagh they added 3 day long polls?? I have. not made a poll in ages

[i-will-write]

I Need Motivation

Me Too