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roseglazedlens · 1 year ago

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⦑ no life without death ⦒✶.*

pairing(s): luis serra navarro x f!reader synopsis: you watch the love of your life leave in pursuit of repentance from his former sins. inspired by @luisnavarros content: character death, hurt/slight comfort, sad letters, mentions of trauma « 0.7 k words┇masterlist┇reblogs appreciated! »

“Why are you crying, hermosa?” Luis’ smooth hand journeyed to your waist, the velvety graze of his palms pulling you closer. A sensation he knows will yield your uncertainty, the gentle act dulled the anxiety away, even if it’s just for a moment.

“You’re leaving, Lu.” The words spat out, brimmed with exhaustion. You’re about to lose him again.

Luis secured the strap of his duffel bag onto his shoulder, the other hand crinkling the one way flight ticket to Spain. Sorrow re-emerged Luis like an old friend, something that never truly goes away, especially after all the atrocies he had enabled, all the lives killed as a result. Paying the price for it, still, seven years after the incident. “And I’ll be back before you know it, eh?”

“I don’t care if you worked for Umbrella… please. Just don’t go.” Your brows writhed against each other, pupils glossy.

Luis wanted to hold you. Never let you go. Submerged you into his arms. But how could he protect anyone with hands made of destruction? How could he protect you like this? The guilt, like the black mould itself, festered in his very soul. It was now or never.

“Don’t cry, mi amor. Tears don’t look good on such a beautiful señorita like you.” His finger brushed against your lower lash line, collecting the tears in his lovingness. The steel ring on his index finger chilled your face as he moved, and you know it was futile to stop the man you love. “I must go. You know it.”

“Let someone else do it. Let them take the burden in their hands. It doesn’t have to be you.” Years and years of therapy Luis attended had allowed him to speak more about his past and came to peace with the memories. You thought he was doing so well. That he was finally going to let the past go, be with you forever. “You’ve done enough repenting. What about your happiness?”

As if consumed by your affection, Luis soothed your body into his. You saw Luis as who he was, and not just a pawn of Umbrella.

“Señora Dulcinea.” Luis ensnared your lips into his, capturing your breath through a soulful press of the lips. He planted his everything, his yearning for him, his tenderness, into a kiss so passionate, it seeped through layers of built-up apprehension. A kiss so beautiful, and one that you will never forget to be the last kiss you two will ever share. “Siempre te querré, cariño.”

“I will always be your Señora Dulcinea.” The tears almost poured out of you as you spoke, but you wanted Luis to leave on a good note. One that did not have you drowned in your own tears.

You smiled, and before you knew it, you slept in peace with Luis’ surrounding you with his warmth. Luis picked you off his embrace and placed you on the couch with a blanket over you.

A final kiss, a farewell on your forehead. He hated to leave without saying his final goodbyes, but Luis feared that his legs won't leave if you’re awake. His heart had been strung along so far by you, whether intentional or not. And that would never change.

Luis walked out of the door, and you are still waiting for him to come back to this day.

Until.

Six months later, a gentleman arrived at your door. Blonde, black suit from head to toe, guilt lingered his eyes. “My name is Leon. I worked with Luis.”

��Is he okay?” you asked, desperate. He didn’t respond, which told you exactly what you needed to hear. What you didn’t want to hear.

“Luis left a message to you.” Leon uttered and passed an envelope to you. “It took me a long time to find you. He kept you a secret, to protect you from Umbrella.”

You picked up the envelope, ripped it as fast as you could manage without damaging the contents and read:

My Señora Dulcinea, If you’re reading this, I’m probably dead, eh? Miguel de Cervantes once said ‘Hasta la muerta es toda la vida.’ There is no life without death. You gave me a second chance at living. After everything, you forgive my wrongdoings. Without you, I am a wandering nomad without purpose. Without a reason to live for. You freed me. That’s why I need to leave… If only to save one in many I’ve killed… Señora, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one last time, for leaving you. To protect you from this plaga that cursed our home. And I’ll do it all over again just to see your smile, cariño. Yours forever, Luis Serra Navarro

NOTE: I don't speak spanish. if you do & there's any inaccuracies, i would appreciate any corrections. translation:

Hermosa - gorgeous

Siempre te querré, cariño - I will always love you, darling.

Señora Dulcinea - Lady Dulcinea - a princess in the book Luis references throughout RE4R "Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes

thanks for reading! come check out my other works. ––yours truly, rose.

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thesinglesjukebox · 1 month ago

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DOECHII - "NISSAN ALTIMA"

youtube

Accelerating right to the top of our charts...

[8.44]

Ian Mathers: I hadn't forgotten "What It Is," but this one hits like Doechii wants me to. Two minutes (and it feels like it's that long because the job is done, not for some algorithm), high intensity, great delivery, and I think even a better chorus. Definitely the only earworm I've heard in a while prominently featuring the phrase "face fuck." [9]

Alfred Soto: With Rapsody and Noname releasing excellent work in the last two years, we're living in a fecund time for female-identifying singer-rappers. "Nissan Altima" proves she can do the slither-tongued swagger as well as anyone. "I'm the trap Grace Jones," she admits after a trip to Spain results in tsunami-ing someone's vagina. [9]

Mark Sinker: It’s like you can’t say "cunnilingus dalai lama” without me handing myself over to a Doechii YouTube deep-dive for hours on end, happy as a dim little lamb in some Cenobite Hellraiser dimension. Sometimes she’s even gentle and charming, like the director dropping out of character to explain the logic of a move. Not here though — and anyway those are never the best bits, though they are the most reassuring. The best is when her mind is flashing at frightening speed and the words and voicings and just grunts are breaking open into unexpected hidden corridors, running at angles behind the walls to energies you didn’t quite want to imagine, maybe. [9]

Katherine St. Asaph: It took me several (exuberant) listens to figure out what this reminds me of: the sparkly instrumentals and kinetic charismatic presence of early Azealia Banks, except better because to my knowledge Doechii is not a rampaging drama-seeking TERF. [9]

Al Varela: You know, we've had such a rough streak of terrible fast raps from Eminem and Eminem wannabes lately that it's easy to forget how fun fast raps can be when it's done well. Doechii immediately jumps in with this roller-coaster flow in the first verse after the chorus that's so infectious that if the song was just that verse and two choruses I would have been satisfied. But the second verse is just as good! Doechii is such a firespitter and some of her pop concessions make me forget that sometimes. Glad to have a song where she truly proves herself and reminds us she can and will take over the rap game when the time is right. [9]

Jel Bugle: A short rap song, not too bad. I liked the brief acapella bits, and change of speed. [6]

Will Adams: Initially the brief run-time felt unsatisfactory. But when you pack as many scorching lines (and line deliveries) as Doechii does in "Nissan Altima"'s 120 seconds, who cares? [7]

Taylor Alatorre: Even when listened to with intent, the refrain registers not as individual words but as a percussive barrage of obscenity, which is more or less how Doechii wants it. It can still be diagrammed if you're into that, but its purpose is to soften you up for the more stylish and surgically targeted body blows to follow. She's unsparing yet economical with her flows, always giving the impression that there's more to her than what she’s choosing to reveal at the moment. She uses the breaks in the instrumental to fool you into thinking a beat switch is coming -- it never does -- but when it starts up again the beat feels slightly fresher than it did a few seconds ago. "Give us nothing,” but unironically. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: All rise and put your sticks up for the motherfucking Princess and that short ass second verse. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#doechii #music #rap #hip-hop #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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dailyanarchistposts · 3 months ago

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A.5 What are some examples of “Anarchy in Action”?

A.5.6 Anarchism and the Spanish Revolution

As Noam Chomsky notes, “a good example of a really large-scale anarchist revolution — in fact the best example to my knowledge — is the Spanish revolution in 1936, in which over most of Republican Spain there was a quite inspiring anarchist revolution that involved both industry and agriculture over substantial areas … And that again was, by both human measures and indeed anyone’s economic measures, quite successful. That is, production continued effectively; workers in farms and factories proved quite capable of managing their affairs without coercion from above, contrary to what lots of socialists, communists, liberals and other wanted to believe.” The revolution of 1936 was “based on three generations of experiment and thought and work which extended anarchist ideas to very large parts of the population.” [Radical Priorities, p. 212]

Due to this anarchist organising and agitation, Spain in the 1930’s had the largest anarchist movement in the world. At the start of the Spanish “Civil” war, over one and one half million workers and peasants were members of the CNT (the National Confederation of Labour), an anarcho-syndicalist union federation, and 30,000 were members of the FAI (the Anarchist Federation of Iberia). The total population of Spain at this time was 24 million.

The social revolution which met the Fascist coup on July 18th, 1936, is the greatest experiment in libertarian socialism to date. Here the last mass syndicalist union, the CNT, not only held off the fascist rising but encouraged the widespread take-over of land and factories. Over seven million people, including about two million CNT members, put self-management into practise in the most difficult of circumstances and actually improved both working conditions and output.

In the heady days after the 19th of July, the initiative and power truly rested in the hands of the rank-and-file members of the CNT and FAI. It was ordinary people, undoubtedly under the influence of Faistas (members of the FAI) and CNT militants, who, after defeating the fascist uprising, got production, distribution and consumption started again (under more egalitarian arrangements, of course), as well as organising and volunteering (in their tens of thousands) to join the militias, which were to be sent to free those parts of Spain that were under Franco. In every possible way the working class of Spain were creating by their own actions a new world based on their own ideas of social justice and freedom — ideas inspired, of course, by anarchism and anarchosyndicalism.

George Orwell’s eye-witness account of revolutionary Barcelona in late December, 1936, gives a vivid picture of the social transformation that had begun:

“The Anarchists were still in virtual control of Catalonia and the revolution was still in full swing. To anyone who had been there since the beginning it probably seemed even in December or January that the revolutionary period was ending; but when one came straight from England the aspect of Barcelona was something startling and overwhelming. It was the first time that I had ever been in a town where the working class was in the saddle. Practically every building of any size had been seized by the workers and was draped with red flags or with the red and black flag of the Anarchists; every wall was scrawled with the hammer and sickle and with the initials of the revolutionary parties; almost every church had been gutted and its images burnt. Churches here and there were being systematically demolished by gangs of workman. Every shop and cafe had an inscription saying that it had been collectivised; even the bootblacks had been collectivised and their boxes painted red and black. Waiters and shop-walkers looked you in the face and treated you as an equal. Servile and even ceremonial forms of speech had temporarily disappeared. Nobody said ‘Señor’ or ‘Don’ or even ‘Usted’; everyone called everyone else ‘Comrade’ or ‘Thou’, and said ‘Salud!’ instead of ‘Buenos dias’… Above all, there was a belief in the revolution and the future, a feeling of having suddenly emerged into an era of equality and freedom. Human beings were trying to behave as human beings and not as cogs in the capitalist machine.” [Homage to Catalonia, pp. 2–3]

The full extent of this historic revolution cannot be covered here. It will be discussed in more detail in Section I.8 of the FAQ. All that can be done is to highlight a few points of special interest in the hope that these will give some indication of the importance of these events and encourage people to find out more about it.

All industry in Catalonia was placed either under workers’ self-management or workers’ control (that is, either totally taking over all aspects of management, in the first case, or, in the second, controlling the old management). In some cases, whole town and regional economies were transformed into federations of collectives. The example of the Railway Federation (which was set up to manage the railway lines in Catalonia, Aragon and Valencia) can be given as a typical example. The base of the federation was the local assemblies:

“All the workers of each locality would meet twice a week to examine all that pertained to the work to be done... The local general assembly named a committee to manage the general activity in each station and its annexes. At [these] meetings, the decisions (direccion) of this committee, whose members continued to work [at their previous jobs], would be subjected to the approval or disapproval of the workers, after giving reports and answering questions.”

The delegates on the committee could be removed by an assembly at any time and the highest co-ordinating body of the Railway Federation was the “Revolutionary Committee,” whose members were elected by union assemblies in the various divisions. The control over the rail lines, according to Gaston Leval, “did not operate from above downwards, as in a statist and centralised system. The Revolutionary Committee had no such powers… The members of the… committee being content to supervise the general activity and to co-ordinate that of the different routes that made up the network.” [Gaston Leval, Collectives in the Spanish Revolution, p. 255]

On the land, tens of thousands of peasants and rural day workers created voluntary, self-managed collectives. The quality of life improved as co-operation allowed the introduction of health care, education, machinery and investment in the social infrastructure. As well as increasing production, the collectives increased freedom. As one member puts it, “it was marvellous … to live in a collective, a free society where one could say what one thought, where if the village committee seemed unsatisfactory one could say. The committee took no big decisions without calling the whole village together in a general assembly. All this was wonderful.” [Ronald Fraser, Blood of Spain, p. 360]

We discuss the revolution in more detail in section I.8. For example, sections I.8.3 and I.8.4 discuss in more depth how the industrial collectives. The rural collectives are discussed in sections I.8.5 and I.8.6. We must stress that these sections are summaries of a vast social movement, and more information can be gathered from such works as Gaston Leval’s Collectives in the Spanish Revolution, Sam Dolfgoff’s The Anarchist Collectives, Jose Peirats’ The CNT in the Spanish Revolution and a host of other anarchist accounts of the revolution.

On the social front, anarchist organisations created rational schools, a libertarian health service, social centres, and so on. The Mujeres Libres (free women) combated the traditional role of women in Spanish society, empowering thousands both inside and outside the anarchist movement (see The Free Women of Spain by Martha A. Ackelsberg for more information on this very important organisation). This activity on the social front only built on the work started long before the outbreak of the war; for example, the unions often funded rational schools, workers centres, and so on.

The voluntary militias that went to free the rest of Spain from Franco were organised on anarchist principles and included both men and women. There was no rank, no saluting and no officer class. Everybody was equal. George Orwell, a member of the POUM militia (the POUM was a dissident Marxist party, influenced by Leninism but not, as the Communists asserted, Trotskyist) makes this clear:

“The essential point of the [militia] system was the social equality between officers and men. Everyone from general to private drew the same pay, ate the same food, wore the same clothes, and mingled on terms of complete equality. If you wanted to slap the general commanding the division on the back and ask him for a cigarette, you could do so, and no one thought it curious. In theory at any rate each militia was a democracy and not a hierarchy. It was understood that orders had to be obeyed, but it was also understood that when you gave an order you gave it as comrade to comrade and not as superior to inferior. There were officers and N.C.O.s, but there was no military rank in the ordinary sense; no titles, no badges, no heel-clicking and saluting. They had attempted to produce within the militias a sort of temporary working model of the classless society. Of course there was not perfect equality, but there was a nearer approach to it than I had ever seen or that I would have though conceivable in time of war… “ [Op. Cit., p. 26]

In Spain, however, as elsewhere, the anarchist movement was smashed between Stalinism (the Communist Party) on the one hand and Capitalism (Franco) on the other. Unfortunately, the anarchists placed anti-fascist unity before the revolution, thus helping their enemies to defeat both them and the revolution. Whether they were forced by circumstances into this position or could have avoided it is still being debated (see section I.8.10 for a discussion of why the CNT-FAI collaborated and section I.8.11 on why this decision was not a product of anarchist theory).

Orwell’s account of his experiences in the militia’s indicates why the Spanish Revolution is so important to anarchists:

“I had dropped more or less by chance into the only community of any size in Western Europe where political consciousness and disbelief in capitalism were more normal than their opposites. Up here in Aragon one was among tens of thousands of people, mainly though not entirely of working-class origin, all living at the same level and mingling on terms of equality. In theory it was perfect equality, and even in practice it was not far from it. There is a sense in which it would be true to say that one was experiencing a foretaste of Socialism, by which I mean that the prevailing mental atmosphere was that of Socialism. Many of the normal motives of civilised life — snobbishness, money-grubbing, fear of the boss, etc. — had simply ceased to exist. The ordinary class- division of society had disappeared to an extent that is almost unthinkable in the money-tainted air of England; there was no one there except the peasants and ourselves, and no one owned anyone else as his master… One had been in a community where hope was more normal than apathy or cynicism, where the word ‘comrade’ stood for comradeship and not, as in most countries, for humbug. One had breathed the air of equality. I am well aware that it is now the fashion to deny that Socialism has anything to do with equality. In every country in the world a huge tribe of party-hacks and sleek little professors are busy ‘proving’ that Socialism means no more than a planned state-capitalism with the grab-motive left intact. But fortunately there also exists a vision of Socialism quite different from this. The thing that attracts ordinary men to Socialism and makes them willing to risk their skins for it, the ‘mystique’ of Socialism, is the idea of equality; to the vast majority of people Socialism means a classless society, or it means nothing at all … In that community where no one was on the make, where there was a shortage of everything but no boot-licking, one got, perhaps, a crude forecast of what the opening stages of Socialism might be like. And, after all, instead of disillusioning me it deeply attracted me…” [Op. Cit., pp. 83–84]

For more information on the Spanish Revolution, the following books are recommended: Lessons of the Spanish Revolution by Vernon Richards; Anarchists in the Spanish Revolution and The CNT in the Spanish Revolution by Jose Peirats; Free Women of Spain by Martha A. Ackelsberg; The Anarchist Collectives edited by Sam Dolgoff; “Objectivity and Liberal Scholarship” by Noam Chomsky (in The Chomsky Reader); The Anarchists of Casas Viejas by Jerome R. Mintz; and Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell.

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david3096 · 2 years ago

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Even if I wanted to.

I wrote a Tyrus fic! Here´s the link to AO3 if you want to read it there 😁

“Do you really have to go?” He doesn't quite know how to answer that question, he can see in his boyfriend's face a combination of sadness and sweetness, the two of them are lying on the floor of his house, with too many pillows around them, the TV is playing Cyrus' favorite music.

“Do you mean now or on the trip?” TJ asks with sincere curiosity before giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. “Besides, wasn't spending all day together enough for you?” It's more a question to tease him than anything else and by the pout his boyfriend makes, he knows he's succeeded.

“No.” He answers, almost serious. “You know I never have enough time with you.” And okay, maybe that's one of the cheesiest things his boyfriend has said to him since they met, but, if he hadn't felt a rush of warmth start in his stomach and spread throughout his body, he would have teased him about it.

“I don't want to leave, Cy.” The truth is, it's a complicated situation. It's one of the last weekends they have off before going back to school, they had planned to go to the movies, eat at The Spoon, spend the afternoon making out and pretending to watch another movie... the ideal day for TJ.

But out of the blue, his grandmother decided to celebrate her birthday a month before her actual birthday. He thought it was kind of funny at first, but now he finds it annoying, he wants to spend as much time with Cyrus as possible, before school and other projects force them to see each other for an hour or two a day.

“I know.” That's his boyfriend's response, neither wants to admit how much the whole thing hurts. “It will be the first time we'll spend so many days away from each other.”

“I'll spend four days without you.” If TJ is honest, it didn't seem like such a big deal at first, but now that he has his suitcase packed and knows he has to go and not see his boyfriend for four days, plus put up with his relatives, he finds it boring and unbearable.

“We're kind of ridiculous, aren't we?” Cyrus has a big smile on his face as he says those words and TJ can do nothing but laugh and kiss him again.

For a few moments nothing is important, not the trip, not his family, not the time they'll spend apart, how cheesy they are, how sad it makes them. The only thing that matters to him is to feel and enjoy the touch of Cyrus' lips on his. Feeling his hands run over his body and him doing the same on his. All that matters is enjoying this moment to the fullest.

“Are you sure your grandmother can't celebrate her 75th birthday until next year?” That's the first thing his boyfriend says to him when they stop kissing and it only reminds him that he's the funniest guy in the world. Or maybe he's just in love but it's been over two years since they've been dating, so he thinks he's truly funny.

“I blame my Uncle Jack.” It's the only reason his grandmother has decided to bring her birthday forward, his Uncle Jack has lived in Spain for as long as he can remember and, truth be told, he's never spoken to him for more than an hour in his 16 years of life. So he's a little upset, but, his grandmother wants to have his whole family together and his father is excited to see his brother, so there's not much he can do. “I don't know him, but right now I hate him a little bit.”

“Don't hate him.” This is a good reminder that his boyfriend is the sweetest, most empathetic person he knows. “It will probably be a good opportunity to get to know him.”

“Or to get bored while everyone laughs and I text you telling you that I wish I was with you.” It's not the first time TJ has had to go out of town to a family reunion, but it is the first time he'll last more than two days with his dad's family so he pretty much knows what will happen.

“Honestly? That helps my self-esteem.” They both laugh and Cyrus surprises him by kissing him again and everything stops being important again, the only thing he wants to focus on is his boyfriend.

“You know?” TJ asks when his boyfriend ends the kiss. “I'm surprised that after two years your kisses still feel like the first one.”

“Like the very first one?” Cyrus arches his eyebrows and a wicked smile plays on his lips, he knows he shouldn't have said that. “You mean when you almost threw up from excitement and nervousness and we had to try again five days later?” He laughs too, it's one of those things he never thought would happen and it's also a situation he never thought could make him laugh, but with Cyrus anything is possible.

“You're never going to let me forget it, are you?”

“Nope.” He affirms, still with a smile on his lips. “I'll make sure Buffy mentions it when she makes her toast at our wedding.”

“Our wedding?” Now it's his turn to grin mischievously. “I didn't think that...” Before he can finish, his boyfriend kisses him again. It's unfair, he also wanted to tease him a little bit, but to tell the truth, he's not complaining. He wants to kiss Cyrus as much as possible, it's going to be a long four days.

For a while they remain silent, they look at each other without saying anything and TJ looks again at the clock on the wall of the living room of his boyfriend's house, it's almost ten o'clock at night, he should have been home an hour ago.

“Muffin...” He pauses, he doesn't want to say goodbye, he never wants to leave, but it's time. He knows it and he hates it. “I really have to go now.”

“Just...” Cyrus makes a funny gesture, as if he can't bring himself to say the words. “Give me five more minutes.” He decides not to say anything, he prefers to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek and hug him tight, his head rests on TJ's chest, he really doesn't want to leave.

They spend 15 minutes cuddling, he doesn't care much, he wants to stay with Cyrus as long as possible.

“Cyrus...” His voice is barely a whisper, he tries to sound calm and sweet.

“I know, I know.” Cyrus breaks the embrace sadly. “You have to go.”

“Yeah, but that's not what I want to tell you.” He decides to put his hands on his boyfriend's cheeks, they both stare into each other's eyes. “I just want to remind you that I love you.” Two months ago, it was the first time TJ confessed to him that his feelings had reached a new level.

“I love you too.” He decides to give him a small kiss on the lips, if someone had told him three years ago that he would be kissing the cute boy he met one day on the swings in the park, he would never have believed it. And not only that, the cute boy on the swings loves him back. Life is full of good surprises.

Cyrus stands up, gives him a smile and offers him his hand to help him up, he accepts it without second thoughts.

They walk slowly to the door, his boyfriend steps forward and takes his leather jacket that he left on the wooden coat rack between the window and the door, gives it to him and he puts it on in an automatic movement, then takes out of the jacket pocket the military green beanie that Cyrus knitted for him when they celebrated six months of being boyfriends and puts it on.

“You look so handsome with the beanie.” Cyrus looks like he can't wait to kiss him again and they might, they're used to this ritual, spending too much time trying to say goodbye, taking advantage of every second to allow themselves to linger a few more minutes.

“So without a beanie you think I look gross?” He jokes, to avoid another such long kissing session, he really has to go, he has to finish arranging his backpack, check his suitcase, chat with his parents and hope they're not furious. Cyrus laughs, loudly, he'll miss hearing his laugh, the way he wrinkles his nose when he tries to be cute, feeling the warmth of his body against his own, his lips touching his and sometimes, running down over his body.

“You got me.” Cyrus replies, putting his hands on TJ's shoulders. “I only accepted to be your boyfriend after I imagined you wearing a beanie.” He laughs, but falls to temptation and kisses him again, it seems to take Cyrus by surprise, but soon they are in the same rhythm as always.

They finish kissing and stay like that for a while, their foreheads touching, Cyrus has his hands on his neck and TJ's hands are on his boyfriend's waist.

He knows there's no way that in four days he'll forget the way Cyrus smells, the way he touches him, the way he cares for him and loves him. Nor the things he likes, the quirks that drive him a little crazy, there's no way he'll forget that in four days.

But he knows he will miss him, he will miss him in a way he has never missed before.

He breaks away again, it's time to go, he can't put it off any longer.

“Muffin, take off that sad face.” He says sweetly, with his index finger on his boyfriend's chin, forcing him to look him straight in the eyes. “We'll send each other lots of pics and we'll talk all day long. I promise.” He kisses him on the cheek. “You won't even notice I'm gone.” He knows it's a lie.

“Neither I or my lips agree with that.” He cannot help but laugh and gives him a small kiss on the lips, so fleeting that it could only have lasted two seconds. It's probably the last one they'll have for the next four days. “Try to have fun at your family reunion, okay?” He can't help but groan, he'd almost forgotten how boring and tiring these days would be, he loves the effect Cyrus has on him.

“I don't promise much.” By the face Cyrus makes, his boyfriend also knows he's not kidding. “I'm going to miss you so much. I love you Cyrus, don't forget that.”

“I love you too TJ.” This time, they don't kiss, they let go completely, Cyrus opens the door and watches him walk through it. “Don't forget that either.”

“I couldn't, not even if I wanted to.” He doesn't say a joke even though he's dying to. “See you Tuesday.”

“See you Tuesday, I love you.”

“I love you too.” He starts walking home with the cold January wind hitting his face, the feeling of regret creeping in without warning, he wishes he could tell his parents that he doesn't want to go, that he wants to stay with Cyrus for as long as possible. He knows he still can't, besides, he wants to see his grandmother.

He sighs, but before sadness and homesickness can take over, his phone buzzes three times, it's texts from Cyrus.

I love you TJ.

I miss you already.

Don't forget to bring me a gift when you get back.

He can't help but smile, the same warmth as always appears in his stomach and runs through his whole body, Tuesday can't come fast enough.

#Andi Mack #cyrus goodman #tj kippen #andi mack fanfic #tyrus #tyrus fanfic #tyrus fic #my writing

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thecouchsofa · 1 year ago

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helloooooooo

id love to know, your favourite quote/poem, your dream vacation spot and a food and drink you will never get tired of consuming!

thank you hope u have a lovely day :)

Hi, anon!

I have way too many favourite poems and I'd drive myself insane trying to pick through them, so I'll say anything Robert Frost (particular Fire and Ice, I read that at the beginning of the first Twilight book at age 12 and I still love it to this day, there's not many other poems that I enjoy picking apart as much as that one). So for a quote I'm going to go with:

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour.”

Every interaction I have irl that isn't going great, I run through this in my head and it's genuinely made made me a better human. I really try and see the perspective of the other person without making a snap judgement and it works surprisingly well.

Dream holiday spot would probably be somewhere on the Mediterranean, like Italy, France, or Spain. I'm a massive history nerd (studied it in uni) so the combo of great weather, oodles of historical stuff to see, and walkability would be right up my alley. If only flights didn't cost actual thousands of dollars :(

Food/drink has to be potatoes. I could wax poetic about potatoes all day. Literally every form they're in is good. They're never not the best thing on the plate. If I could choose one food to live off of forever, it would be potatoes. Truly an S tier food.

#asks

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edmarienism · 29 days ago

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https://x.com/amparosabotage/status/1849222179336147168?s=46

Spain confirmed for 2025!!!

god i'm truly praying he adds a madrid date during my semester holidays or smth 🤣 cause i truly refuse to travel anywhere far without being able to acc vacation in the city for a few days, it's an absolutely pointless and dumb thing to do imo.

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girldigital · 4 months ago

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Letters words and gibberish

Hi,

So I didn't get the job at The Barbican. I should be receiving the feedback soon which is kind of funny. It already feels like a lifetime ago that I had this interview.

Of course I was really sad not to get the gig. After all, it would look great on paper and I there's nothing I love more than things that look good on paper lol.

Part of me is also relieved in a way, just because I don't think London is the place for me long term and I don't need a job that's going to keep me here for longer than I intend to, even if sometimes the best things in life are the things you push away. I don't care that I might only be saying this to cope, as long as it's working!

I have two more interviews scheduled this month, which is quite impressive in this city...

One represents everything I've ever strived for (I could become a REAL video archivist??!!!) whereas the other, a little less, but their offices are based in New York. And who knows me knows I will forever have this glimmer of hope that I get to live there for a little bit, no matter how short.

No time to make false decisions though, as if there's one thing I've learned from being here is to never take things for granted. I am excited though, I cannot stay at this job (or flat!) any longer.

Speaking of, R and I are looking for a new place. It is weird that A, N and I (as in myself) won't live together but I genuinely feel like that's for the best.

I haven't gotten around to speaking about what happened in Spain. I mean, I did but that one had to stay in the drafts and will probably remain. Anyway, despite what felt like a resolution, things simply aren't the same and probably won't ever be again.

I'm looking forward to the new chapter though. It's a bit hard looking for two people, hence why I've also done my own solo research on the side and it's that's been so freeing. In a nice twist of fate, the last flat I messaged for myself also has 2 other rooms up for grabs so I am hoping I can pull what I did once before and secure two rooms.

Moving alone sounds fun, but having R by my side would definitely be a plus. I feel like we're too different to be hanging out all the time, so to live with her is the best way to maintain contact and she's someone I feel very lucky to have met in this city. I also definitely feel like she keeps me in check, even if she's younger. She's been so helpful lately too, hearing me out when I speak about what's on my mind and offering me support and food. She's truly a keeper. A fellow too-beautiful-and-good-for-men-perpetually-single girl...

Speaking of too-beautiful-and-good-for-men-perpetually-single girls...I am talking to someone again. I forgot I started talking about him by referring him as Aiden. It made sense back then, because he felt like such a retaliation against Big, but it's been so long now I'm happy to say he has become his own entity and I will therefore be referring to him as S.

This could go either way. I'm not going to deny that certain aspects are definitely a little wonky, but if there are no crazy surprises, I am feeling a hopeful. I always prefer the slow and steady path anyway. Even if this has exceeded my usual standards, part of me is also somewhat content that there seems to still be a continuous interest from both of our ends, even without the physical aspect. I get really put off by people who want me in a very overt way. Sure, some might say it's my own ridiculous unhealthy attachment to toxicity, but I don't think that's entirely the case. I do want to be wanted! I do want to be desired! But only by the one that I want and desire. Maybe I should become hijabi…

As someone who has only recently become sexually desired by men, it becomes freaky to see just how quickly you can be reduced to your physicality. While that is flattering, I from someone I am equally into and often , it takes a lot for me to care for someone in this way. It also can take time, and it's nice that I got to have it here.

Anyway, I don't know what astrology says about the month of August, but it seems to me like it's going to be one of many changes and I'm so happy for that.

New flat, new job, new romance maybe...It's like summer is finally starting.

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equestrianempire · 8 months ago

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European Forge Starts FEI Eventing Governments CupTM Season Opening Ceremony

Team Podium, la France, Maxime LIVIO, Mathieu CHOMBART, Luc CHATEAU, Benjamin MASSIE ( FRA ), FEI Nations CUP™ Montelibretti Italy 2024

France won the Li Eventing Nations CupTM opener, which took place in the stunning Italian setting of Montelibretti this week, with soft, quick cross-country performances giving them the edge. Five regions came forth but it was France whσ took a decisive victory over Italy, Switzerland, Spain and Australia. They came in nearby second place ωith a score of 145. 30, aheaḑ of their home country Italy, who had 144. 50 overall, while Team Switzerland came in clσse second.

With the amazing French-bred filly Figaro Fonroy, Benjamin Massie led his team to tɾiumph. He came in first overall with a 39. 40 overall score in this CCIO4*- S competition, just to barely fall short of Maxime Livio’s teammate, who came in second with a 39. 60 overall score. Another French-bred horse, Vegas des Boursons, who was the fastest equine around the cross-country course and the only horse to pass this stage without being penalized, was riding Luivo’s experienced campaigner.

This is undoubtedly a testament to a powerful and sustained relationship with his brilliant rider, who is ranked 8th in the FEI Eventing World Athlete Rankings and also trains the Thailand Eventing group. Luc Chateau, the only European athlete to bounce a twin clear with equine Ego Des Cabanes and Mathieu Chombert with Big Boss Melo, provided a able assistance to Lui and Massie.

Massie praised his fresh horses and summed up the cross-country step. ” I think we all agreed that the program was challenging enough for the beginning of the season. It was n’t as quick and twisty. Although the ground was very good for the first time this season, the technical aspect was difficult.

Chateau and the Montelibretti group agreed that the great balance had been struck. ” I think Montelibretti is a good place for competition. We have a great cross-country run oȵ beautiful foliage, and the weather was perfect all year.

Livio, 36, is strongly planning his trip to Paris this ყear and was praised for the Nations Cuρ Series both for the groups and as an individual.

Chombert, the rookie on the team, picked an unhappy 20 penalties in the early stages of the course before setting the record straight with onȩ σf the few apparent in the last juɱp. ” For me and my animal, it was the first Countries Cup. Despite being the new member of the team, my mare had a great trip. Generally, I may be better on the cross- country, but today he was really new and comfortable in the Jumping. I am truly content. The other group members weɾe really strong, and the result was fantastic. Normally, I may do better.

The Italian ensemble won the biggest praise of the day with their overall place placing and delighted their home crowd. Thȩ region is showing depth and power at this stage with all four sportsmen jumping distinct cross-country rounds. Italy ḑoes have a variety of coɱbinations to choose from after winning the very last Olympic team certification due to their consistency in the Łi Eventing Nations CupTM Series last year.

The second leg of the FEI Eventing Nations Cup ™ moves to Chatsworth ( GBR ), which runs from 17 to 19 May 2024.

Total results can be found below. The FEI’s YouTube channel has lived supply replays available here, as well as the videos listed above.

Dressage Day 1:

youtube

Day 2 of Dressage

youtube

Cross Country:

youtube

Show Jumping:

youtube

#Eventing

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ilovemyboyfriendshirts · 1 year ago

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Why Cotton Is The Most Popular Fabric Used Worldwide

Introduction to Cotton

Welcome to our blog post on why cotton is the most popular fabric used worldwide! If you've ever wondered about the fascinating history, numerous benefits, and diverse uses of cotton, then you're in for a treat. Cotton has been an integral part of human civilization for centuries and continues to be a favorite choice among fashion designers, homemakers, and consumers alike. So grab a cup of coffee, get cozy, and join us as we delve into the wonderful world of cotton!

The History of Cotton

Cotton has a rich and fascinating history that dates back thousands of years. The origin of cotton can be traced back to ancient civilizations such as India, Egypt, and China. These early civilizations recognized the value and versatility of this natural fiber. In India, cotton was cultivated as early as 3000 BCE. It quickly became an important crop due to its ability to thrive in various climates and soil types. Indian cotton was highly prized for its quality and softness, making it a valuable commodity in textile production. Similarly, Egypt played a significant role in the history of cotton. Egyptian cotton was known for its long fibers, which resulted in exceptionally strong and fine fabric. This made it highly sought after by luxury brands around the world. China also played a crucial role in the development of the cotton industry. Chinese artisans were skilled at spinning and weaving cotton into intricate patterns for clothing and household items. During the Middle Ages, Arab traders introduced cotton to Europe through Spain and Sicily. From there, it spread throughout Europe rapidly due to its popularity among nobility. The Industrial Revolution marked a turning point in the history of cotton production. With advancements in technology such as mechanized spinning machines like the spinning jenny and power looms, mass production of affordable textiles became possible. Today, countries like China, India, Brazil, Pakistan remain major players in global cotton production alongside other nations across Asia,Africa,and Americas. The demand for high-quality,cotton fabrics continues to grow worldwide due to their comfort,durability,and breathability. It's truly remarkable how this humble plant has shaped human civilization through centuries!

The Benefits of Using Cotton Fabric

Cotton fabric has been a staple in the textile industry for centuries, and it's not hard to see why. There are numerous benefits to using cotton fabric that make it a popular choice among consumers worldwide. First and foremost, cotton is incredibly soft and comfortable against the skin. It is known for its breathability, allowing air to circulate freely and keeping us cool during hot summer months. Whether you're wearing a cotton t-shirt or sleeping on cotton sheets, you can count on its cozy feel. Another advantage of cotton fabric is its durability. Cotton fibers are strong and resilient, making them less prone to tearing or fraying compared to other fabrics. This means that your favorite cotton clothes will last longer without losing their shape or color. Cotton fabric also boasts excellent moisture absorption properties. It effectively wicks away sweat from our bodies, leaving us feeling fresh and dry throughout the day. This makes it an ideal choice for sportswear or underwear where comfort and hygiene are paramount. Furthermore, cotton is hypoallergenic, making it suitable for individuals with sensitive skin or allergies. Unlike synthetic materials that may cause irritation or rashes, cotton provides a gentle touch that minimizes any potential discomfort. In addition to these personal benefits, choosing cotton also has environmental advantages. Cotton is a natural fiber derived from plants rather than petroleum-based products like polyester or nylon. Its production requires fewer chemicals and energy resources while emitting significantly less greenhouse gas emissions. Moreover, many farmers now adopt sustainable practices such as organic farming methods when growing cotton crops. These efforts minimize soil erosion and water pollution while promoting biodiversity within ecosystems. There's no denying the myriad of benefits associated with using cotton fabric in our everyday lives. From its unmatched comfort to its eco-friendly nature - this versatile material continues to reign supreme in various industries such as fashion and home textiles.

Sustainability and Environmental Impact of Cotton Production

Sustainability and the environmental impact of cotton production have become increasingly important topics in recent years. As one of the most widely used fabrics worldwide, it is crucial to understand how cotton cultivation affects our planet. The cultivation of conventional cotton often involves the use of harmful chemicals, pesticides, and fertilizers. These substances can contaminate soil, water sources, and harm wildlife. Additionally, traditional farming practices require significant amounts of water for irrigation purposes. However, there are more sustainable alternatives available today. Organic cotton is grown without synthetic chemicals or GMOs, reducing its impact on the environment. Furthermore, some farmers employ regenerative agriculture techniques that promote healthy soil biodiversity and minimize water usage. Another aspect to consider is the energy consumption during processing and manufacturing. Cotton requires substantial energy inputs throughout its production cycle - from spinning to weaving and dyeing processes. Adopting renewable energy sources can help reduce this carbon footprint significantly. Moreover, recycling initiatives play a vital role in minimizing wastage within the textile industry. Repurposing used garments made from cotton or using recycled fibers helps conserve resources while reducing landfill waste. As consumers become more conscious about their choices' environmental implications, sustainable fashion brands are emerging with innovative solutions such as creating clothing from recycled cotton or investing in closed-loop systems where waste is minimized by recycling materials into new products. Although conventional cotton production has had negative environmental consequences over time due to chemical usage and excessive water consumption; sustainable alternatives like organic farming methods and recycling initiatives offer hope for a greener future in which we can continue enjoying this versatile fabric without compromising our planet's well-being.

Challenges and Controversies Surrounding the Cotton Industry

The cotton industry, despite its popularity, is not without its fair share of challenges and controversies. One of the main concerns is the extensive use of pesticides in cotton production. These chemicals can have detrimental effects on both human health and the environment. Another issue is water usage. Cotton plants require a significant amount of water to grow, making it a resource-intensive crop. In regions where water scarcity is already prevalent, this excessive demand can exacerbate environmental problems. Furthermore, there are concerns about labor practices within the cotton industry. Many countries that produce cotton rely on cheap or even forced labor to keep costs low. This exploitation of workers raises ethical questions about the sustainability and fairness of cotton production. In addition to these challenges, genetically modified (GM) crops are also a controversial aspect of the cotton industry. While GM crops have been developed to increase yields and resistance to pests, they raise concerns about long-term environmental impacts and potential risks to human health. There is ongoing debate surrounding organic versus conventional cotton farming methods. Organic cultivation avoids synthetic pesticides and fertilizers but may result in lower yields compared to conventional methods. Addressing these challenges and controversies surrounding the cotton industry requires a multi-faceted approach involving sustainable farming practices, improved labor conditions, reduced pesticide use through integrated pest management strategies, efficient irrigation techniques for water conservation,and increased transparency throughout supply chains.

Conclusion: The Enduring Popularity of Cotton and its Future in the Fashion Industry

As we have explored throughout this article, cotton is undeniably the most popular fabric used worldwide. Its long and rich history, coupled with its numerous benefits, has made it a staple in our everyday lives. The versatility of cotton makes it suitable for various uses, from clothing to home furnishings. Its breathable nature and ability to absorb moisture make it a favorite among fashion enthusiasts and comfort seekers alike. Additionally, its durability ensures that garments made from cotton can withstand repeated wear and washing. Moreover, one cannot overlook the significant impact that sustainability plays in today's world. Cotton production has come under scrutiny due to its water-intensive cultivation methods and pesticide use. However, efforts are being made by farmers, manufacturers, and consumers alike to promote more sustainable practices within the industry. Despite these challenges and controversies surrounding cotton production, there is no denying that it continues to dominate the fashion industry. Its enduring popularity stems not only from its practical attributes but also from cultural factors deeply rooted in tradition. Looking towards the future of cotton in the fashion industry, innovation will undoubtedly play a crucial role. With advancements such as organic cotton farming techniques and eco-friendly dyeing processes gaining traction, we can expect greater sustainability without compromising on quality or style. In conclusion (without using those words!), while other fabrics may come into vogue temporarily or claim superiority based on certain aspects like performance or affordability - none can match the timeless appeal of good old-fashioned cotton. From ancient civilizations to modern times �� this versatile fabric has stood the test of time as an icon of comfortability mixed with style!

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best-l-angeles-ca · 1 year ago

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Co/Relate West Adams in Los Angeles, CA

One of the exciting parts of a city living is looking for an apartment. As a selection, you can also try a co-living arrangement. In addition, those who are looking for remarkable West Adams co-living must research well about the best options. For example, Co/Relate is Los Angeles’ newest co-living experience. If you live in the area, it’s one of your best choices. Well, you can enjoy an abundance of amenities, including a high-end fitness center, pool, co-working lounge, rooftop deck, and more. Besides, you can find your own slice of paradise just minutes away from the Culver City Arts District if you opt to live there.

Co/Relate West Adams

The services offered by Co/Relate West Adams is important for those who want to start city living and save cash at the same time. The real estate company that owns the place offers amazing co-living in Los Angeles area these days. Although the living arrangement isn’t entirely similar with apartment living, it’s truly fascinating. Basically, co-living allows you the flexibility of having your own bed space, without having to pay the price of studio or full unit. Because the said place offers by-the-bed leasing you’ll only be responsible for your own lease, and never have to worry about a roommates rent. Isn’t it amazing?

Los Angeles, CA

First and foremost, studying the early settlers of the Los Angeles, CA area is interesting. The place is one of the best travel destinations. No wonder, it’s common for some people to be familiar with its history. During the Spanish rule, Maritime explorer Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo claimed the area of southern California for the Spanish Empire in 1542 while on an official military exploring expedition moving northward along the Pacific coast from earlier colonizing bases of New Spain in Central and South America. Lastly, Franciscan friar Junípero Serra directed the building of the Mission San Gabriel Arcángel, the first mission in the area, in 1771.

La Brea Tar Pits and Museum in Los Angeles, CA

Are you familiar with the La Brea Tar Pits and Museum in Los Angeles, CA? Well, it is a well-known tourist spot. Besides, the people who visit the place usually have fun and relaxation. Interestingly, the La Brea Tar Pits is an active paleontological research site in urban Los Angeles. Hancock Park was formed around a group of tar pits where natural asphalt, also called asphaltum, bitumen, or pitch; brea in Spanish, and has seeped up from the ground for tens of thousands of years. For many centuries, the bones of trapped animals have been preserved. Lastly, the George C. Page Museum is dedicated to researching the tar pits and displaying specimens from the animals that died there.

TikTok rap star Van Van, 4, dreams of working with Beyoncé

At present, there are many fascinating news reports in the Los Angeles, CA location. One of the said reports is about a TikTok rap star who dreamt of working with Beyonce. Based on a recent news, TikTok star, Savannah McConneaughey, also known as Van Van, quickly rose to social media stardom with her creative rap lyrics and energetic beats. The 4-year-old self-made rapper garnered millions of views on TikTok from her freestyle raps about her ABCs and 123s. Van Van’s parents helped her cultivate her talent at a young age. Lastly, her mom could be singing a song and then stop and Van Van would fill in the words.

Link to maps

La Brea Tar Pits and Museum 5801 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036, United States Head east toward S Curson Ave 26 ft Turn right onto S Curson Ave 0.1 mi Turn left onto Wilshire Blvd 0.2 mi Turn right before Chase Bank Destination will be on the right 2.0 mi Co/Relate West Adams 2405 Hauser Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90016, United States

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amateurd18 · 2 years ago

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Hii Ami!! Secret Santa here!! Happy Friday!! May your weekend be a long and restful one!! ✨

It was your friends birthday? Well, happy late birthday to them!! 🥳✨ you can never go wrong with Mexican food!!

Ooooo, you’re studying in Madrid? That’s so cool!! What are you studying, if you don’t mind me asking? I had a close friend study abroad in Spain for a semester and absolutely loved it there!! I totally feel you about wanting to move to London!! It sounds like a pretty nice place to live based on the things I hear about it. I remember when I was studying abroad, my friends and I planned our spring break trip to the UK for five days, but due to COVID, we got pulled from our program before we were even able to step foot on the plane there. So I still have that desire to visit the UK for that reason alone lol.

Same here!! I love sweet things, to an extent!! I don’t eat as much surgery things as I did when I was younger!! But when I do, cheesecake is the key to my heart!! Lol.

Thank you!! As of right now, all the owls are packed away from when I decorated my apartment for Christmas. After we introduce ourselves properly, I can definitely send you some photos of my prized ones!! They range from very tiny figures to relatively large ones!! I’m pretty proud of it!!

Lego does count as a collection item lol!! They’re so cool!! I really like the aspect of having to build them (that’s pretty obviously lol, but it truly is therapeutic in a sense!!). Hopefully one day, you can start that collection!! Is there one particular Lego set you would love to have?

Speed Round Answers: Movie/TV Shows? I wasn’t sure if you were asking if I preferred movies or tv shows lol?! I’d probably say tv shows because you can learn more about the characters and their stories through the lens of a series rather than their one dimensional aspects cut short for a movie!! Some of the most recent tv shows I’ve watched are Heartstopper, Young Royals, Wednesday (Netflix cancelled this show after the first season, and I will never forgive them for it!! It’s called The Society and I definitely recommend it if you haven’t watched it already!!) I’ve been rewatching a kids show named Chowder on Hulu for the nostalgia factor lol. Movies/books? Hmmmm… I like books, but I can appreciate a good movie!! I’d say the best book I read this year has been One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston. I highly recommend it!! Who doesn’t love sci-fi lesbian strangers to lovers!!!? Fav. season? The transitional period between summer and fall!! To me, that’s just the perfect weather!! Not too hot or humid, yet not too cold!! Beaches/Mountains? I’d probably live by the beach because I went to college up in the mountains and when it gets cold, it gets cold!!! I’ll risk living around the sand than anything else. City/countryside? I’ve always lived relatively close to the city, but I think it would be nice to get away from it all. Have my own home in a nice large area. But not too big that someone could be living in my home and I wouldn’t know it lol.

Here are more speed round questions, my dear!! Do you have a favorite piece(s) of comfort clothing? (Sweater? T-shirt? Shoes?) What are three things you know you can’t live without? Do you play/enjoy any games (whether that be video games, board games, card games, etc). 🎄✨

Helloo! How is your weekend going? Mine's been fab yay!

I'm doing a dual master - an MBA with a master in business analytics. Why I chose insanity is still unclear, but oh well. It's been hectic but good so no complaints.

I'm so sad that you missed London coz of covid, but here's hoping you can make it there soon. ✨

As far as the Lego goes, i have a long-ass list of very random ones i want. So in no particular order- the entire city collection, the Harry Potter castle, the life-size r2d2 from star wars and the formula 1 Ferrari cars. Is it obvious yet that i love really random stuff? 😂

I love your speed round answers, and I'm putting one last stop on my Christmas read list. Fav clothing: nothing specific, just track pants and a tee / shorts if it's summer. Jeans if i need to be presentable. Three things i can't live without: ooh that's hard. My phone, an internet connection and my earphones. I love board games! Monopoly is a household favourite, as is Uno when we're traveling. Do you have a favourite board game?

More questions: I'm assuming you speak Spanish, but any other languages you speak or want to learn? Do you have celeb crushes? Comfort movie that you'd watch at any point? Do you have a favourite Christmas food?

#anon asks #secret santa #holiday pals

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wild-karrde · 10 months ago

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Aria, I need you to understand how I'm rubbing my hands together like a little horny gremlin about this prompt. I LIVE FOR THISSSSS.

ALRIGHT JUST RUN ME OVER WITH THE ANGST TRAIN. THAT'S FINE. I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT PLO KOON'S DEATH TODAY AND GOTTEN SAD OVER IT. NO BIG DEAL.

Hope still lurked in those murky shadows, and despite your best efforts to brick it in and let it suffocate in the rot deep within you, it crept out sometimes. You felt its tendrils now, wrapping around your neck and squeezing.

Ok, so I love this imagery. I love how you take something that's meant to be positive, but sometimes can be harmful to those that hold too much, in the face of all adversity. BIG OOF.

AND OH MY GOD THE THOUGHT OF IT BEING WOLFFE. AND THE CODE WORD. AND THE FACT THAT IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS AND JUST AHHHHHHH.

You were never good with words. If you had been, you might have told… well that didn’t matter anymore.

I AM IN SPAIN WITHOUT THE S.

“Should have guessed it would be you, Rex’ika.” The clone chuckled. “I always could get the drop on you.”

SCREAMING.

You seriously built this tension SO WELL. Even though we could guess it was Wolffe, I was still on the edge of my bleepin' seat like OOOOOOH COME ON. PUT ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER. AND THEN THEY DID.

The way Wolffe pressed you for stories of the rebellion reminded you of your first conversations when he would ask you a thousand and one questions about the temple and being a Jedi, all to avoid talking about himself.

GAAAH THESE LITTLE BITS OF CHARACTERIZATION FOR HIM ARE JUST SO GOOOOOD.

And his GUILT OOOOOOOF I WISH TO HUG HIM SO GENTLY (I know reader's about to handle that for me wink wink LOL but STILL IT HURTS).

“I love you.” Wolffe finally said. “I always have. Even when I thought you were gone and there was nothing I could ever do to see you again. That love stayed with me, the thought of you was like a spark. It spurred me to find Bail, to get my brothers out. I just knew I had to be the man that you always saw in me.”

INJECT IT STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINNNNNNS.

“We’ll tear them apart together now, cyare.” With a large thumb, he brushed the tears from your cheek.

LET'S GOOOO POWER COUPLE.

And then I AM SWOOOONING. The refamiliarizing themselves with one another. The gentleness and hesitancy that turns to urgency. The need. The pleading. The smut. IMMACULATE.

“I can’t believe this.” Wolffe finally spoke as if he could hear the inner workings of your mind. He murmured into the top of your head, his hand trailing down the bare skin of your waist. “I thought I lost you.” “Never.” You whispered as you clung to him. “You always have me.”

AND THEN YOU END ON THIS? IT IS SO SWEET. THE PERFECT ENDING TO THIS. TRULY. I LOVED IT.

Congrats on 150 followers, Aria! ✨💖💕✨ you deserve all of them and more!

My request is for a Fem!Reader or GN!Reader with Wolffe. The prompt is “I thought I lost you.”

Hiiii Vee! I'm so so sorry this took so long. I never forgot about it and I wrote most of it a long time ago but the ending just didn't feel right and I couldn't bring myself to rush it. I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks for all of your love and support, darling!

Pairing: Wolffe x F!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warning: NSFT *MINORS DNI*, Explicit sexual content, established relationship, Fingering, PiV sex

It had been almost two years since Order 66. Two years since you lost everything. The order, your master, your troops, and him. First, Master Plo fell on Cato Neimoidia. You’d only survived by sheer luck. Your own ship had malfunctioned that morning, and you’d been directing the 442nd and the 104th on the ground. After the battle ended, you ventured into the forests alone for a moment of peace. Instead, the order came down. Plo’s last call was to tell you to run and not look back. The staticky warning, followed by a vengeful rain of blaster fire from men you loved as brothers and more while you fled, still haunted your dreams. After the battle, the 104th was torn apart and scattered among the Empire’s troops. You looked for a while after, even though you feared what you might find, but there was nothing left. No pieces to find or recover, no trail to follow. They were all gone. Even him. You told yourself that you’d long since given up hope. The focus was on the fight now, but deep within the well of your heart, you knew that wasn’t true. Hope still lurked in those murky shadows, and despite your best efforts to brick it in and let it suffocate in the rot deep within you, it crept out sometimes.

You felt its tendrils now, wrapping around your neck and squeezing. You steadied your breath, taking slow inhales and exhales as you tried to focus on the basics of the mission at hand. You counted the exits for the ninth time. There were five - six if you included the window, but that was a several-story fall that you preferred not to chance. You silently let your gaze fall to your blaster, aimed at the ready. You tilted it slightly so you could see the energy cell, the barrel never moving from its aim on the large doorway one level below. The cell was still full, just as it had been the last time you checked and the time before that.

“You good?” The comforting voice crackled over the comm and echoed in your ear, a welcome intrusion to your own thoughts even if you didn't appreciate the implication.

You let your eyes wander up the skeleton of the old building. Several levels above, you could just barely make out the captain’s outline. Rex was watching you from the shadows of the upper level of the abandoned maintenance center. Your contact chose the location, the abandoned GAR shipyard. You and Rex chose the building. It was a good location for a risky meeting. The middle of the building was hollow and large enough to house a transport ship, leaving plenty of space for hiding and good viewpoints. It helped that both you and Rex knew it well too. In another lifetime, you had walked it many times together and separately. Even now, as you looked up to where he was waiting in the shadows, you could almost see the ghosts of his brothers crawling, working, and laughing all around the rusted-out structure.

“Yeah, just tired of waiting.” You snapped back, your voice barely a whisper. “You sure this information is good?”

“Eh,” There was a muffled crackling in your ear as Rex shifted. “You heard the call. But how good is any of our information these days?”

You sighed. Rex didn’t have to put up with your testy attitude but he always did.

“Sorry, Rex.”

“Nah, you’re alright.” The mic rustled as he shifted again. “I’m on edge too. It’s just…”

“I know.”

You both fell silent. You and Rex had been on edge since you got the call. It was an extraction request. It had been a long time science you’d gotten one of those. There weren't many clones left to rescue these days. Between the effectiveness of early missions, the elimination of the clone trooper from the Empire’s army, and the assassin program, it had been three months since Rex had heard anything about a clone trooper looking to be rescued.

Then, Senator Organa called late last night. He said he had it on good authority that an insider contact needed to be pulled out and fast. He couldn’t give any more information, only that they would be in the GAR shipyard at 0300, and their code word would be Khorm.

As soon as Bail said the word, you could feel Rex’s eyes on you, gazing over the blue haze of the holo. He waited until Bail hung up.

“It could be anyone.” The words fell halted from his lips as if he was arguing with himself. “Thousands of us fought on Khorm.”

“I know that, Rex.” You replied coolly. “Do you?”

That was the last either of you spoke of it.

Now, Rex stayed silent on the comms, and despite wracking your brain for something to say, some way to make up for your coarse tone early, you couldn’t think of anything worth saying. It was probably better if you didn’t say anything anyways. You were never good with words. If you had been, you might have told… well that didn’t matter anymore.

Something moved in the shadows. Not a movement, you realized as you scanned the upper levels. A disturbance. You felt something in the force. Familiar but so far away. You searched the dark crevices, looking for anything that might have alerted your senses. Then you realized Rex was too quiet.

You swiftly scaled the scaffolding, moving with a speed and stealth that, if you thought too hard about it, would have reminded you of who you are… who you were. On silent feet and with your cloak wrapped close around you, you skirted around hanging equipment. You couldn't see Rex anymore, but you knew his last location.

You crouched in the darkness, staying low to the ground and keeping your back against the wall as you crept towards the corner where Rex had been. You kept your blaster trained out in front of you as you reached out through the Force, chasing that fleeting feeling from before.

You could sense Rex. He was still there and he was troubled. There was something else, a clouded presence, the same one you felt moments ago. It was near and that made you cautious. The darkness parted as you closed in on them. Endless shadows formed into shapes. You could see Rex again, but he was no longer alone.

Rex was kneeling, his hands resting on the back of his cloaked head and his elbows up in the air. Behind him stood a looming figure. Someone was waiting for you. Harkchar, you silently cursed in Mando, a habit you picked up from the clones years ago. Dressed in black commando armor, a shrouded man stood with Rex’s blaster in one hand, pointing out into the darkness. He moved it every second or so as he scanned the shadows so he must not have spotted you yet. It was the second blaster that troubled you more. It was pointed directly at the back of Rex’s head.

You sized up the stranger. He was a clone trooper, or at least his armor belonged to one. Was this a set-up? You glanced at the carefully-mapped exits. No one else emerged. You couldn’t feel any other presence. It didn’t feel like a set-up. Not yet anyway. Before you could figure out your next move, the man moved first. His second weapon was suddenly trained on you.

“I see you.”

“Then you see my blaster.” You said, not moving from your crouch but tilting your head to ensure your hood shadowed your face. “Lower your weapon.”

“You’re no clone.” His modulated voice bit at you. So it was a clone beneath the armor, the accented mechanical voice was unmistakable. But something else rumbled deep in your chest. “This is an Empire trap. You lower your weapon, or your partner dies.”

Rex. Your heart stopped. You couldn’t see the Captain’s face under his hood, but you could guess at his expression. Stubborn and defiant. You couldn’t risk his life. You would do anything not to risk his life. You released the trigger on your blaster and held it up in the air.

“No trap.” You had to convince this man you were friendly, whether that was true or not. “Fulcrum.”

He tilted his helmet at the safe word. He waited for a moment, shifting just slightly as he decided whether or not he trusted you.

“Khorm.”

You tried not to flinch at the safe word as you holstered your weapon in a show of good faith. It almost sounded dangerously familiar as it left the shadowed man’s lips.

“Bail sent us.” You nodded to Rex, who was still held at gunpoint. “We’re here to get you out.”

Not quite satisfied, the fugitive clone trooper reached for Rex and slipped the cloak off of his head. His blonde hair shown in the light of the moons and his face was just as stubborn as you’d imagined it would be. Still, the fugitive extended an arm, and Rex accepted it.

“Should have guessed it would be you, Rex’ika.” The clone chuckled. “I always could get the drop on you.”

Your heart seized. There was no denying it now. And even if you had wanted to, the clone stripped his own helmet from his head. Two eyes, one a deep pooling brown, and the other pale and cybertronic met yours.

Your hand flashed to your blaster. It couldn’t be him. This was a trap. Your cloak fell away with the sudden motion. The world threatened to tilt, spinning around you. Only the cool durasteel felt solid and steady as you clasped the gun.

“Cyare.” Wolffe whispered, his voice instantly choked.

Your weapon slipped from grip, its clatter echoing against the empty walls.

…

Rex had long since gone to bed, sleep overtaking him as soon as you were safe on the ship. You and Wolffe sat in the hull of the ship with only a bottle of whiskey and a table between the two of you, but even as you talked into the late hours of the morning, the space felt impossible to breach. He danced around his own story all evening with an evasiveness that you hadn't felt from him since the early days of the war. The way Wolffe pressed you for stories of the rebellion reminded you of your first conversations when he would ask you a thousand and one questions about the temple and being a Jedi, all to avoid talking about himself. You didn’t mind. You just wanted to talk to him back then. Now, you could see through him.

“Wolffe,” You raised an eyebrow at him as you topped off both of your glasses. “You’re going to hear all about the rebels and then some. Where have you been? What happened? What changed?”

He sighed, looking away from you for the first time in hours. It was just for a second before he turned back to you, but you ached in that brief eclipse of a moment. His eyes locked back on yours, and he watched you as he raised the glass and tilted the warm liquor down his throat. He emptied the glass, his tongue darting out to run along his full lower lip. You waited, never flinching under his stare. Finally, he gave you a small smile and a shrug.

“It took a while, but my mind… it slowly cleared. It was too late to do anything. The Jedi were dead, the Wolfpack was gone. I almost couldn’t bear it.” His head hung as his voice became graveled. “Cody tried to get me out at first.” Cody’s alive?, You started at the revelation but Wolffe didn’t notice. “Wanted me to leave with him after we realized what was happening. But I thought, if you were gone, I had nothing else. Nothing besides getting out as many brothers as I could, and pulling the Empire apart from the inside out.”

“I worked with Bail for a long time, passing information to rebels, sabotaging missions.” He raised his head to look at you again. His eyes were narrowed and his words were hushed, as if he was afraid the Empire was still in the room with you. “You know how Bail is - plays his cards close to his chest, that one - but he let something slip one day. That there were Jedi still alive, still in the fight, and I tried not to hope, but I couldn’t help it. It started to eat away at me. Bail never let anything slip about Jedi again, but I knew I had to get out and find out for certain.”

“What made you think it was me?” A shiver went down your spine. He knew and he looked for you.

“I just knew…” His inscrutable face tilted and something twisted deep in your gut. “I knew if there was any chance you were alive, you would still be fighting.”

He looked for you, the truth hit you like a Venator. And you had given up on him a long time ago. Shame burned your cheeks even as the awe of what Wolffe had fought through brought tears to your eyes.

“If there was even a chance you were alive, I had to look. I didn't ask Bail. I knew he couldn’t tell me, so I just asked for an extraction. Said I was done. I never, not in my wildest moments of hope, dreamed you’d be the one to save me.” Wolffe cleared his throat. “I don’t deserve it. Not after… not after I tried to kill you. Not after Plo.”

His eyes fell and his hand trembled around the empty glass. It was the first time he’d said your master’s name. You reached for his hand. He jerked at your touch, pulling away from you, but you chased him, tugging his hand back into your grasp and finally crossing the chasm between you.

“That wasn’t you, Wolffe.” Your voice was quiet. You didn’t want to startle him, not while you finally were holding his hand in yours again. The warmth of his skin sent a shiver to your core as you ran your thumb over his rough palm.

“It might as well have been.” The scorn in his voice was cutting. “If I’d been in the air or if he’d been on the ground, I would’ve taken that shot. I can’t hide from that.”

“It was Palpatine. All of it was.” You moved to clasp his broad hand in both of yours, “I know you, Wolffe.”

He returned your grasp as his achingly familiar fingers dug into your skin.

“I missed you, cyare.” Wolffe finally met your eyes again. His brow was soft in the dimly lit ship and the gentleness in his look was a sharp contrast to the hungry way his hands gripped yours. “I thought you were dead and that I would never be able to tell you…”

Your heart fluttered. He raised his free hand to your face, tracing along your hairline and down your jaw until his palm came to rest on your cheek. You tilted your head to rest into his palm, your breath light and rushed at his sudden closeness.

Tears slipped out from behind your eyes. It was far too late. You should have said all this and more years ago but all you feel was grateful that you could say it now.

“I love you too, Wolffe.” You tried not to choke on the words. “I always have. I should have looked harder. I should have torn the Empire apart for you.”

“We’ll tear them apart together now, cyare.” With a large thumb, he brushed the tears from your cheek.

You stood. Without another word or releasing the hand you still held, you pulled him towards your cabin. He followed like a shadow, just skirting your look but never more than a step behind you.

When the blast door shut behind you, you spun to face him. For a moment, time stood still. You were closer now than you had been in a long time. He looked the same but the few years apart were still evident on both of your faces. Small lines and scars had etched themselves along his skin, and you could see his eyes tracing maps of the slight newness in you. But, despite the differences, the look in his umber orbs hadn’t changed at all. Cool and calm and, yet, still endless hungry.

You stepped towards him, closing the distance between you. Wolfe lifted a hand to your waist and then stilled, as if he was afraid any other movement would startle you away. Your breath became slow as gravity tugged you towards his lips. You raised a palm to his stubbled cheek and pressed yourself to him. Your lips found his softly at first. Gentle, chaste kisses passed between you as you relearned the taste of him. His lips molded perfectly to yours still, as if he had kissed you every day for the last year. Then, as your mouth slid open and his tongue found yours, it all came rushing back; the way his heart beat against your chest, the heat of his heavy breath mixing with yours, stealing the very air from your lungs. Your teeth clashed as the kiss became anything but gentle. Both of his hands found your waist and fingertips dug into your flesh. You were used to Wolffe leaving marks. His grip had always been strong, and you liked the reminders when you were on separate missions, it was like he still held your body. Now, his hold was different. It was desperate. He clung to you as though he might lose you. And you held onto him the same way as your arms snaked around his neck.

Somehow in the tangle of limbs, you managed to guide him backwards to your bed. Gently pulling him down, his weight landed on you in a way that you had ached for on long and lonely nights. Wolffe broke your kiss for a moment. He stood at the edge of the bed, leveraging his position to find the hem of your shirt and strip it from your body. He turned his furious attention to your pants, tugging them off and tossing them aside. Wolffe bit his lip as his eyes skirted over your naked form. You reached up for him, tugging at his own shirt, silently begging him to join you.

“I missed you,” Wolffe murmured, desperation edging into his voice as he pulled his shirt over his head.

His pants went next and your breath caught in your throat. His body was every inch as perfect as you remember. Broad shoulders, the left one tattooed, his strong stomach, and his hard member swollen and leaking for you.

Wolffe was back on you before you could reply. Any words, any thoughts at all became a low, pathetic mewl that left your parted lips as he found your neck. He traced over your bare skin, pressing smoldering kisses to your flesh. His weathered and battle-worn hands weaved their way through your fingers and pinned your arms above your head as he found your chest. Wolffe nipped and licked at the soft flesh, raising your skin and bringing your nipples to sensitive points. His lips wrapped around one bud as he released your hands so he could tease the other with slow, gentle circles.

“Wolffe.” You moaned as you writhed beneath him already.

His hand dropped lower, tracing its way down your skin and leaving a trail of pearled flesh. Wolffe followed the crease of your hip until he brushed up against your lower lips. He softly teased your entrance for a moment before a singular thick finger sunk into your molten core. You bucked into his hand at the touch, another lewd moan escaping you.

Your vision clouded as Wolffe added a second finger and began to slowly fuck you with his hand. His eyes never left your face, his pupils dark and blown as he watched you come apart beneath him. His thumb found your sensitive mound and you cried out.

“I need you. Please.” You begged, desperate to feel all of him.

“Gods, I missed the way you taste.” Wolffe grinned as he slipped his hand from inside you and brought his fingers to his lips, licking them clean. Then he captured your lips again with a promise. “Later.”

You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as Wolffe flashed a shadow of his playful side. There was so much you missed about him. So much time to make up for. Quickly though, your mind went blank with need again as Wolffe slotted the tip of his member at your soaking entrance.

“Slowly,” you whispered to him as he began to press in. “It’s been a long time.”

Wolffe nodded, and you noticed a small breath of relief.

“I won’t last.” He warned through gritted teeth.

“Me either.” You ran a hand along his brow, fingers dancing across bronzed skin, grazing top of the long silver scar and trailing down his cheek.

Wolffe pressed his lips against yours again. Your tongues intertwined as he inched forward slowly, entering you. He moved in sync with your body, letting you adjust to every advance before he pushed again. Finally, he sheathed himself fully within you with a throaty groan. You clenched, an involuntary reaction to how full he made you. His fingertips dug into your hips at the small movement and a whimper left Wolffe’s lips.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He muttered.

“Okay, okay,” Any pain had passed and you were quickly becoming desperate again. “Please move. Please fuck me”

All of Wolffe’s restraint snapped at your plea. His thick cock dragged across your center as he thrusted into you. You canted your hips up to meet him, any pain now replaced by a heavenly stretch that made you pulse around him. His head fell to your neck and his lips latched onto the hollow along your collarbone. You reached for him, gripping a hand into his curls as you began to tremble beneath him. His thumb found your clit, drawing rough circles and sending wave after wave of pleasure through your core.

Finally and still all too quickly, the chord in your belly snapped and you came around him, shaking and crying out. Wolffe followed you, emptying himself inside you with one last thrust.

Hours later, when the sun was surely high in the sky, but you never raised the blinds and Rex had the good decency not to knock, you traced the tattooed star map of the Abregado system. It started on his chest, over his heart, and trailed down his left shoulder to his bicep. He’d had the tattoo as long as you’d known him, and you found that every line was still etched into your memory. His eyes fluttered as you traced the ink. For a moment, this could have been any night. Master Plo could still be alive. His brothers could be in their own bunks outside the door, waiting to tease you both as they helped you sneak back to your quarters. But it wasn’t. You’d lost all that. Somehow though, you’d found each other.

“Never.” You whispered as you clung to him. “You always have me.”

#fic rec #commander wolffe #commander wolffe x reader #commander wolffe x you #nsft #lemon #lemony lemon #MY HEART #IT IS SO FULL #THIS WAS SO LOVELY

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