#trope that solely exists to make me feel like a caged animal

[dragon-deez-ballz]

graaaa being weird in public sorry (on my own blog) teehee

[nightcoremoon]

so for the first time I saw batman: the killing joke.

...

it was okay I guess. but massively overrated. I expected some fucking masterpiece of cinema but instead it was just two unrelated short films that were more style and flash than substance.

so first off, barbara's storyline was mediocre. franz wasn't a compelling villain; just a creep, and a trust fund brat. oh wow he's a mafia kid who stole his family's fortune by hacking. if it was the falcone family I'd have cared more but it wasn't so it's just some faceless deathfodder rando. who gives a shit. the whole situation was just a vehicle to shove batman's dick into babs. which kinda fucks over bruce's character here and judging by the timeline kinda makes him a bit of a groomer, yikes. bruce and gordon have known each other since bruce was a young boy and we know that bruce is way older than babs so yeah bruce totally knew her from birth until present day, he literally utilized an active power dynamic to police her crimefighting activities, and he should have fucking known better and stopped her when she kissed him because it would (and did) compromise their professional dynamic, but hey, batdick. and at least barbara recognized that she was behaving emotionally rather than logically when it came to bruce and paris and took the high road out. that would be a serviceable standalone episode to write her on a bus in a serialization but THIS IS A MOVIE. so for a waste of an already short runtime it's like having an appetizer before your meal but instead of something like a crab cake before stuffed flounder, you get greasy onion petals that are more fried batter than onion before getting a well done cheeseburger that's just a glorified hockey puck on a sponge with a kraft single on top. the animation and vocal delivery were excellent of course, not gonna disparage that aspect, so it was well made, but the writing was just not very good. a polished turd. quantic dream must have developed it then because it feels like I watched a david cage production.

so in a 78 minute movie, five of which were the credits, we had a half hour Disney/Pixar short except those bring joy and this brought boring. also there were a lot of shots of her ass tits and underwear that were obnoxiously male-gazey and there was a token gay for the sole purpose of dangling a carrot on a stick for the queers. look kids, warner brothers and dc comics cares about the lgbts! give us money! a waste of time before the real reason why anyone came to see the movie that literally only exists to pad out the runtime to make it a feature length (even though paying a full ticket would've been a total ripoff because, again, IT WAS ONLY 78. even 9 was 81 minutes long and that had an amazing storyline so I forgave it, but 78 minutes? ugh.

also, GOTHAM RAGE??? CRINGE. SO CRINGE.

alright now for the joker segment.

*ahem*

what the fuck? that sucked! *throws tomato*

mark hamill and the joker's lines and the art and the cinematography and the choreography was all good and the plot was cohesive. I get it.

but holy shit was the writing weak as fuck.

okay so some rando breaks the J-ster out of Arkham (already unlikely but ugh whatever), he didn't turn a trick or recruit or anything, he just went to purchase a carnival. or, steal one. but wait, he DID recruit, but he went to get all of the stereotypical Circus Freak™ stereotypes. little people, fat lady, bearded lady, wolf man, strongman, diaper man (wait, what?), and the two headed woman. I guess if you don't really think about why all of them were super readily available in the outskirts between arkham and gotham [i just realized they both end with -am] then it makes enough sense. and then literally right after that HE RECRUITS SOME GUYS TO HELP HIM KIDNAP GORDON. and then strips and photographs barbara. um. ew. you can tell the writer and director were men. Alan Moore is constantly molesting women in his comics and this one trick pony should be put down already. but whatever. the plot is weak and it only gets saved by the flashback sequences.

oh.

oh no.

they're not that great.

he's a failed unfunny comedian who just wants some money to move his wife to a better house so he turns to thievery with the mob. OR YOU COULD JUST STOP GOING TO THE BAR AND BLOWING IT ALL ON BOOZE. I mean the cops knew where to find him after all so clearly he's a repeat customer (or moore is a bad plot writer who relies on convenience and shut the fuck up and don't critically analyze it). alright so he gets wrapped up in the mob to perform a heist on a playing card factory. GET IT, BECAUSE HE'S THE JOKER??? and he uses the moniker of the red hood to retain his anonymity. I expected the mobsters to be working for francisco but no the paris storyline was only cooked up screenplay for passing the runtime so why would they do something clever and interesting and make the film cohesive? that'd be really stupid to make the movie feel more like one movie and not two short films. at least when grindhouse & planet terror did it they advertised themselves as an anthology film. whatever. he falls in the vat of acid which melts the red hood to his face and I gotta say that's actually a pretty good idea to get his face white and his hair green and his lips red. I like that part. oh wait I forgot about the most important part! his wife gets shoved in the refrigerator. OH WOW THAT'S JUST SO COMPELLING AND ORIGINAL, TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO GREEN LANTERN. TWICE. although she wasn't literally shoved into a literal refrigerator like alex was. rip in frozen pieces you absolute legend of a trope namer. alright, so... so the joker is sad because his wife died. you know, the wife we saw for two minutes and knew the moment we saw her drenched in sepia she was gonna die. and she died offscreen. kyle's gf died and he was fine. gordon's wife died and he was fine. batman's parents both died and he was fine. oh boo hoo someone I love died! fuck off. I am so goddamn sick of people trying to justify their evil with "I was sad once". it's a stupid trope and it's not compelling. the only valid version is doctor doofenshmirtz' evil(er) version in the PF movie because it's hilarious that it's because of a toy train because that's the emotional depth that fridgewomen is treated with in all of these storylines. but at least batman said so. oh yeah, I almost totally forgot, batman's in this movie.

batman punches people and nonlethally takes them out. by suffocating them and letting them get stabbed and throwing them into pits of spikes and HEY WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND! okay let's just ignore that bit and hope that the little people squeezed between the gaps in the spikes and the strongman could breathe in the face mask and the two headed women had KO gas and the fat lady was fat enough that the knives only stabbed her cellulite. it wouldn't be the biggest reach one would have to make in watching this fucking disaster of a plot mess.

now I did like that it was actually batman, and by that I mean he gave a shit about the insane because he recognizes that mental illness is not a cause of dangerous or criminal behavior, just a potential exacerbating factor if it wasn't treated. yeah he brutalized mobsters and crime lords but they were mostly in self defense while gathering intel. he politely asked sal maroni and the sex workers for information and they gave it to him without violence- he manhandled maroni but only after he reached into his pocket for a cigar which could've been a gun. also batman says sex work should be decriminalized if only by not ratting them out to the cops. he was a genuinely good person in the second half of the movie. too bad it was ruined by the shitty first half that made him a borderline groomer.

joker's song was... bad. mark hamill performed his ass off but the song wasn't that good. it just tried to be willy wonka if he was a voyeuristic monster. oh yeah have the only girl character be paralyzed stripped and photographed only to give her father ManPain™. again... the fuck? joker and batman were both gross but, again. male writers. if it was a one-off I could drop a thermian argument because, alright one and done makes sense, especially 1988 standards. but it saturated and soured the entire goddamn movie because of abhorrent pacing decisions. so you're goddamn right I'm gonna bring it up twice! joker was a creep, his plan was dumb, nolan and burton and lord/miller and even ayer had better motivations. YES I AM SAYING THAT JARED LETO'S JOKER HAD BETTER WRITING THAN MARK HAMILL'S JOKER. not nearly to the level of ledger nicholson or galifanakis but hamill didn't have a lot to work with here and I maintain that his performance was amazing; honestly I like his the best out of all of them but just... not here. but I think I can cut some slack to firelord ozai and luke skywalker even if he just phoned it in here which he didn't. writing was just weak. and that's all there is to it. don't anon me and threaten to remove my bones ok?

alright so batman and joker fought and joker got the upper hand and was gonna kill him but it was a prop gun. haha. they had a heart to heart and batman tells joker that he wants to help him get better, even after joker killed robin and molested barbara and traumatized gordon and did countless other travesties, he still said he would help. but joker said no, and told a joke that was good enough to make batman laugh. and then the credits rolled.

...

what a completely pointless and empty ending. oh it's deep and meaningful and poignant? ok sure, I guess, movie, but you didn't earn that. shyamalan did the same thing a dozen times. that doesn't make him any less of a shit writer.

I can understand the concept of batman laughing at joker's joke, humanizing him.

I get it. I see what they tried to do. I respect it.

but this movie was massively overhyped and overrated and I expected it to be so much better than it was. but overall to me it was just another batman cartoon to throw on top of the pile. maybe it was influential to graphic novels. maybe it shaped batman into what he is today. it published right as tim burton's movie and I can respect its place in the pantheon of comic history. but sometimes things that are classic...

aren't that great.

citizen kane, casablanca, the maltese falcon, the treasure of the sierra madre, gone with the wind, singing in the rain, all of them are classic and legendary pieces of art. but they're just not that good, interesting, appealing, watchable, or FUN. they were good at the time- I mean come on we all know them today- but on going back you'd have to really appreciate the finer details to still love the movies today. and this belongs there, in the vault, to be appreciated from afar. influential if dated.

but god am I still disappointed nonetheless.

TL;DR

it was just okay. had some good ideas, had some really bad ideas, had some ugly stuff. overall mediocre. first half 5/10, second half 7/10, overall 6/10.

[daughter-of-the-prophet]

Morrigan (Tv Tropes “Origins”)

Absolute Cleavage: Combined nicely with Sideboob.

Abusive Parents: Being raised by Flemeth definitely qualifies. Particularly heartbreaking is the story of how as a young girl she stole a golden mirror, as she had never been given beautiful gifts, only practical ones. She ran back to the Wilds with it held tightly in her hands for fear she would drop it, only for Flemeth to find out and smash it against a wall.

Ambiguous Disorder: Likely due to her upbringing, she displays several signs consistent with Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Animal Motifs: Being a Shapeshifter, this is to be expected.

Shale comments that Morrigan resembles a bird, particularly the way she gazes at people.

And, as noted below, she does have a rather magpie-ish interest in jewelry.

Some have compared her attitude to that of a cat.

Sten knows a viper when he sees one.

Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: She passes through an Eluvian to a place that is neither Thedas nor the Fade. It is impossible to know at this time if this is simply another dimension or another Plane of Existence.

Bad Powers, Bad People: The most ruthless and unpleasant of the companions, she starts off with spells tilted toward destroying things and screwing with people’s minds.

Because You Were Nice to Me: Ilona is the first friend Morrigan has ever had in her entire life.

Berserk Button: Morrigan greatly values freedom and hates it when people are imprisoned, such as Sten. Those who willingly submit to imprisonment - such as the Circle of Magi - earn even more of her contempt. Also, as a Vain Sorceress, she has another fear:

        Morrigan: "You… do not truly think I look as my mother does, do you?“ 

        Alistair: "Have you really been thinking about that all this time?”           Morrigan: "I am simply curious.“           Alistair: "And not insecure in the slightest, I’m sure.”

        Morrigan: "I think I look nothing like her.“           Alistair: "I don’t know. Give it a few hundred years and it’ll be a spot-on match.”

        Morrigan: "I said that I look nothing like her!“

        Alistair: “All right. Got it. Totally different. I see that now”

Black Widow/Death by Sex: She tends to respond to men hitting on her with threats of this sort. Like mother, like daughter.

Broken Bird: Has the detached, cynical personality, the troubled backstory, and the dark Gothic look. This is further reinforced by the mirror story, as well as some of her other dialogue, which suggests that Morrigan is secretly desperate for a connection with the outside world, but she doesn’t know how to go about it after years of Flemeth’s abusive upbringing.

Dark Action Girl: Combined with a Lady of Black Magic.

Dark is Not Evil: Subverted. When Ilona first encounters her, Morrigan muses about whether she’ll immediately assume she’s evil because she’s one of the (legendarily evil) Witches of the Wilds. Once she’s spent a little time on the team, though, she turns out to have a very nasty Darwinist streak and in the end, it turns out that she’s been assigned to help the Wardens solely to perform a dark ritual and capture the soul of the Archdemon for purposes unknown. She gets a little closer to playing this trope straight in the ending of Witch Hunt, given that she’s apparently had enough time to defrost a little further.

Interestingly enough, Morrigan is one of the more innocent and naive characters, having only ventured out of the wilds a few times and never truly interacting with anyone other than Flemeth. Moreover, her beliefs are a result of Flemeth conditioning her to think and act in this way as it is strongly hinted that this would make it easier for Flemeth to take Morrigan’s body.

Deadpan Snarker: She doesn’t get along Alistair really well. Thus their banter is highly snarky.

Defrosting Ice Queen: Throughout the story, Morrigan starts to consider Ilona as a friend to the point where she sees her as the sister she’s never had.

Depending on the Artist: Her facial structure tends to vary between official depictions. Compare this in-game screenshot with these two illustrations. She looks like an older version of her Origins self in Inquisition, which makes perfect sense since ten years have passed.

Deus Sex Machina: Though not used to titillate the audience, for once.

Disappeared Dad: Her biological father is unknown but is heavily implied to have been of Chasind origin, reinforced by the fact that more than one character has pointed out that she resembles a Chasind. Given Flemeth's penchant for killing her lovers, it's unlikely he survived the encounter.

Druid: A bit of a Deconstruction of the type. While not fond of cities, she doesn't go on about it. Though she's clearly a Social Darwinist, she doesn't go out of her way to try to get anyone killed but Flemeth, and that only after she realizes that Flemeth's working on killing her. She's clearly modeled after the D&D druids but doesn't care for such notions as balance.

Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: The first half of which is odd, considering she has spent most of her life outdoors.

Even Evil Has Standards: Morrigan immediately expresses disgust that Sten has been caged like an animal in Lothering to serve as darkspawn chow by the "mercy" of the Chantry. Though he did kill innocent people, the story makes it clear that being captured by the darkspawn is one of the most horrible fates imaginable that nobody deserves.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Morrigan is not exactly one of the good guys, but while she and Flemeth argue and snipe at each other, it's clear she cares for her mother very much.

Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: The very idea of acting altruistically seems to be both alien and offensive to her for most of her time in the group, presumably due to Flemeth's teachings.

Evil Counterpart: Could be considered this to Wynne.

Femme Fatale:

She has a two-part dialogue with Sten in which they speak about the Qunari act.

Multiple instances where she talks about women only needing to bat their eyelashes to get men to do what they want.

The Friend Nobody Likes: And vice versa. The only people who get along with her to any degree are Zevran, Brutus, and Ilona.

Graceful Ladies Like Purple: She's a Lady of Black Magic who mostly wears purple and black. Violet is often emphasized with her in official artist's depictions, as well as occasionally being the color of her magic.

Hates Being Touched: Well, at least when it comes to simple greetings. Morrigan's just not a handshake person; she doesn't in the least understand the need for it.

Hollywood Atheist: Not so much in the reasons for her non-belief, which are fairly realistic, but in that her atheism goes along with being selfish, misanthropic, and actively contemptuous of religious people.

Hot Witch: Lampshaded, not that it's all that unusual for the setting.

Impossibly Cool Clothes: The blouse of her 'robes' are loose and draping from the shoulders and down the front, yet has a laced cinch at the back. It's possible but difficult to make and impractical to wear. Especially implausible as most of what she knew about humans came from observation, but there are no role models shown for her design.

The Robes of Possession (which presumably belong to Flemeth) share the same design.

Ineffectual Loner: Morrigan’s not a “people” person. In camp, her tent is placed away from all the others, and she has her own private campfire where only Ilona bothers to visit her.

Insufferable Genius: According to Alistair, who tries to use a Chantry-related question to mock her for it.

Jerkass: Almost all the time. As noted above, the only people who seem to get along with her are Zevran, Brutus, and Ilona.

Lady of Black Magic: Well-spoken, cunning, and evil, she has a look of wild elegance and favors very destructive spells.

Licked by the Dog: By Brutus, of course. In Witch Hunt, she’s actually rather pleased at how happy he is to see her.

Love Redeems: Morrigan’s personality during her appearance in Dragon Age: Inquisition was likely the result of Ilona befriending her. She behaves with much more warmth and compassion.

Magic Pants: Whenever Morrigan strips down to her underwear for any reason, she's always wearing a white bra and panties, even though she clearly doesn't wear a bra with her standard outfit.

Her original concept art, on the other hand, depicts her wearing a bra underneath her robes.

Meaningful Name: The Morrigan was a shapeshifting Celtic deity of war and death, but she averts the trope since the lead writer said that Morrigan is named after a character of a friend of his and all similarities with the Celtic goddess are coincidental, as they are with Morgan le Fay.

.Seems the outfit designers didn't get that memo. The crow feathers on her shoulder are symbolic of the other Morrigan.

In-universe, she seems to be named after a legendary Avvar warlord famed for her powers of seduction as well as her skills as a fighter. Given what Flemeth sent her to do, this was probably an intentional reference on her part.

Nature Hero: An unconventional Evil Counterpart of the standard version. Instead of a kindly Friend to All Living Things, she lacks compassion for anything barring a scant few exceptions, embraces social Darwinism, and doesn't hesitate to resort to murder if someone gets in her way. She's Nature Is Not Nice personified.

No Social Skills: She is largely tactless and ignorant of/annoyed by social mores; she considers shaking hands an offensive breach of her personal space, for example. This is because she was raised in the wilds, largely forbidden to interact with outside world.

No Sympathy: A big part of her character. Morrigan just doesn’t do empathy. She may surprise the audience every now and then, however - once befriended, she genuinely cares about Ilona and her feelings, expressing sympathy over the death of Ilona’s mother and having girl talks with her.

No, You: Notably in one of her conversations with Alistair:

     Alistair: "So let's talk about your mother, for a moment..."

     Morrigan: "I'd rather talk about your mother."  

     Alistair: "But there's nothing to talk ab— And besides, isn't your mother a scary witch who lives in the middle of a forest? Much more interesting."  

     Morrigan: "To you, perhaps. You would find the moss growing upon a stone interesting."

Not Good with People: She freely admits that due to her time in the Korcari Wilds, she's better at understanding animals than people.

Not So Different: To Flemeth.

Oblivious Guilt Slinging: Ilona unknowingly invokes this in Morrigan after befriending her. It doesn't stop Morrigan from following through with her true objectives, but it's clear that she feels guilty about it.  However, when she finally reveals her true intentions to Ilona, instead of getting angry at her, Ilona understands and holds no hard feelings towards her. 

Odd Friendship: Any friendship she forms, given her complete lack of social skills. It's especially notable with Ilona.

Only Friend: Morrigan admits that Ilona is the first friend she's ever had and that she views her almost as a sister.

Pet the Dog: She apologizes to Ilona for her jerkass tendencies and admits that she appreciates her friendship.

In Witch Hunt, she practically does this literally. When Ilona finally catches up to her, both Morrigan and Brutus are quite happy to see each other and she even cracks a rare smile.

At the Lothering Chantry, when Ilona asks the revered mother for her blessing, Morrigan respectfully kneel along with the rest of the party. Contrast this with her usual dismissive attitude towards the Chantry and religious belief in general.

When Ilona admits that her mother was killed during an attack on her family’s castle, Morrigan responds with genuine sympathy for her loss.

Pre-Climax Climax: With Alistair in order to conceive a child to complete a dark ritual that would prevent either him or Ilona from dying after slaying the Archdemon.

Raised as a Host: After finding Flemeth’s grimoire she becomes convinced this was her mother’s intent for her and asks Ilona to kill Flemeth for her.

Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: She has pale skin and black hair, and a few characters often comment that she’s very beautiful.

Sequel Hook: You just know the child she conceives with Alistair at the end is going to show up again. And of course, he does — in Inquisition.

Sideboob

The Smart Guy

Social Darwinist: Flemeth raised her to be a pretty severe example of this. As a result, Morrigan believes that people who can’t solve their own problems without help are worth less than nothing. It actually explains many of Morrigan’s more Stupid Evil tendencies. Perhaps the best example is in the “Broken Circle” quest, where she insists Ilona should leave the Mages to their fate, claiming that their current plight is their own fault, for a) agreeing to be caged in the Tower in the first place and b) not being strong enough to stop Uldred before things got out of hand.

Stalker with a Test Tube: Her real reason for joining the party is that she needs to become pregnant by a Grey Warden in order to complete a dark ritual.

The Starscream:  To Flemeth, albeit out of self-defense rather than ambition.

Stupid Evil: Often falls into this. She seems to take the position that helping others is universally wrong, even if such aid is explicitly rendered solely on the condition of later repayment (and even if the person being helped is absolutely critical to stopping the Blight).

The Tease: Towards Sten and even occasionally Alistair.

Token Evil Teammate: Morrigan actively disapproves of acting selflessly and helping others.

Too Many Belts: Her outfit features a skirt that appears to be made out of rags and strips of cloth stitched together with belts.

Took a Level in Kindness: Takes one over the course of the story after Ilona befriends her. Similarly, despite her constant irritation at Brutus, she broadly smiles upon seeing him again at the end of Witch Hunt.

This follows her into Inquisition, where Morrigan comes across as warmer and more compassionate most likely because of Ilona befriending her.

Troll: A large portion of her conversations with other companions is this, particularly with Sten.

      Sten: "Paarshara! Why do you pester me?“ 

     Morrigan: "Because ‘tis amusing, that is why”

Tsundere: Oh yes. Type A, mostly tsuntsun, but Ilona’s kindness brings out the deredere (as much as she is capable of, anyway).

She eventually apologizes for her behavior in a very roundabout Tsundere-ish manner.

Tykebomb: One of many raised by Flemeth. Unusually, she ends up defusing herself to a certain extent, planning Flemeth’s death the moment she realizes her end use; it’s not until Witch Hunt that she finally slips her leash altogether, though. Temporarily, anyway.

Vain Sorceress: She’s a magpie when it comes to jewelry.

Verbal Tic: Almost all of her dialogue is spoken in a sing-song rhythmic style, which is not that noticeable at first but becomes far more apparent the more characters talks to her. She also has a noticeable fondness for the word “'tis,” and she uses the “over” instead of “too,” as in “overlong and "overmuch”.

Voluntary Shapeshifting: Her specialization.