#trippy coniferous

[crystalninjaphoenix]

The Self-Indulgent Holiday Special

The best way to celebrate a holiday is clearly to write a thing where your persona meets the characters made by your favorite YouTuber. Trust me, I’m an expert. 100% real authority on writing

‘M posting this super late at night after I felt the sudden need to write it, so forgive any mistakes I may have made. Also if you give me any sort of trouble for putting myself in the story.......whatever. It’s nearly 2019, I’m ignoring the connotation of cringe

There’s a rooftop garden in the city. Trees and flowers of all kind, just sitting on top of a ten-story building. Of course, it being the middle of winter, most of the plants had died out, though there were some stubborn coniferous trees and red flowers still growing. An iron railing surrounded the garden, keeping people from falling off.

Sitting on a wooden bench, looking over the setting sun, is a girl. Or, not a girl. They weren’t quite sure in recent times.They have red hair, vibrant and shoulder-length. They wear a set of glasses—they have multiple, and had decided on the black pair today. The evening is cool, but not cold, so she’d forgone her coat and wore what she usually did: a blue hoodie with a bright yellow smiley face in the center. By her side is a purple backpack, containing, as it usually did, her laptop—complete with headphones and mouse—the book she was currently reading, and her bag of colored pencils. They sit on the bench with their knees pulled close, their black sketchbook propped so that she can draw easily. She had some ideas she needed to get out.

“Hypocrite.”

It always surprised her, even though she knew who it was and what he wanted. She turns and sees Abyss, one of her characters. He looks like he always does, silver hair, red old-fashioned coat, brown eyes with stars in the pupils. He's staring at her, but that was to be expected when one didn’t blink. “Why do you say that?” she asks.

Abyss rolls his eyes. “You tell me I can’t visit this set of universes, at all, 100% forbidden, and now you’re here. Drew yourself up a portal. Therefore, hypocrite.”

“This is different,” they explain.

“It always is with you, Ms. Creator.”

Honestly, when they created a character with the ability to jump universes, she hadn’t expected to ever actually meet him. Hell, for the longest time, they hadn’t realized any of their ideas could spawn another world. But that was irrelevant. Abyss, though annoying and way too powerful for anyone’s good, isn’t antagonistic toward her, not anymore at least. “No, I mean, it-it really is different this time,” she insists. “This world in particular, it’s...I-I mean, it’s not mine, I don’t-I don’t think I can count it that way—”

“Hmm, I thought I recognized the feel,” Abyss interrupts. “This universe has your stamp on it.”

“They’re, um, not my characters—”

Abyss laughs. “That’s never stopped you before. You have your own little versions of worlds scattered all about. I never would’ve met Dani if you didn’t get obsessively attached to stories you like and made your ‘headcanons’ into your ‘canon.’ What’s so different about this one, this multiverse?”

She frowns. “I think it’s that...the creator of the original, he’s not-not, like, distant. I see him as a person and not as a-a-a, I dunno, a faceless maker of content. And all the people who are, like, inspired by his work are, they’re, like, people I know, you know? It’s really a community...like they say. And it feels mo-more special...personal, I guess.”

“I see...” She knows that Abyss is lying. She knows him better than anyone else; she’d created him, after all. He struggles with empathy, though he’s learning. And the idea of community, that you could somehow relate to people all around the world based on this one thing...it was a very empathetic, human experience. “Ah, would you look at that,” he says. “You plan this? It’s why you showed up here, isn’t it?”

They look up. The rooftops of the city had been empty a moment before. Now, there’s someone running across them, expert parkour-style. He’s wearing a red and blue jumpsuit, and a hood hides his face from view. But they know who it is. “I mean, I kinda planned it,” they say. “I wrote that this was a regular thing. And I decided to show up here at this moment, so...”

“You have a little crush on a fictional character? I understand that’s something that can happen.”

“What?! No! He’s like twenty-eight. I’m nineteen. I don’t do that. I just...friends are nice too.”

“Yeah...they are...” Abyss nods. “I’m starting to get that. So, I’ll leave you to it.” There's a flash of dark blue, and he’s gone, leaving nothing but a blue mist-like substance that quickly disperses.

“Hey there!” The man in red has landed on the rooftop with the garden, and caught sight of the artist sitting on the bench.

For a moment, she thinks the words will get caught in her throat like they always do. But...she knows him. He might not be her original character, but he was her version. “Hi,” she says. “You’re, um, Jackie, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am!” Jackie puts on a dramatic voice, and strikes a pose. “I’m the one and only Jackieboy Man! Protecting the city from crime, day and night!”

“I know,” they say, laughing a bit. “I’m-I guess you can say I’m-I’m-I’m a fan. My name is—” they hesitate for a moment. Should they give him their real name? Most of their characters know them as Brigid...but people had started calling them a nickname, of sorts, since they started becoming more active in the community. It feels...right, somehow, to use that instead. “I’m Crystal.”

“Crystal, huh?” Jackie tilts his head. He gives her a warm smile. “That’s a nice name. A, uh, fan, huh? I don’t really deserve that, you know. I’m just a guy in a mask and jumpsuit.”

“But you’re, like, a superhero!” Crystal says. “That’s so cool!”

“Well,” Jackie’s eyes light up. He thinks it’s very cool indeed. “I guess, but it’s not like I have powers. My friend—I mean, I have friends just like anyone else. I’m trying my best.”

“But a lot of people, um, you know, they don’t do the things you do. Even if-if they can. So, that you’re trying, you know, that’s important.”

Jackie considers this for a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. I can see that. Have a good night, Crystal.” He starts to turn away.

“Wait!” Crystal stands up, fighting down a surge of panic. “I just—um—I’m—did-did-did-did you know it’s Yule today?” She cringes internally. Stupid stutter.

“Really? Christmas isn’t for another few days.”

“No, it’s the winter solstice. The twenty-first. That means it’s Yule.” She feels her face growing hot. Unconsciously, she starts picking at the binding of her sketchbook. “It’s a, uh, pagan holiday. I’m Wiccan. I mean, I don’t practice it as much as I should, but if there’s any religion I can say I’m a part of, it’s that, you know? My-my family doesn’t celebrate it. And I mean, I love our Christmas celebrations, and the season is-is great. But I’d like to celebrate it and I was thinking—I mean—um—you seem nice. Can I, like, be with you? Like, hang out? I mean that!”

This couldn’t have gone any worse if they tried. They fully expect Jackie to just walk away. But, to their surprise, he stops, and consider. “That...maybe...” he muses. “...I mean, I can’t take a civilian out on patrol. But my friends are having a get-together tonight. I wasn’t expecting to be able to make it...but the question is, can you be trusted? I’ll be taking off my mask.”

“That’s fine!” Crystal assures him. She knows all the details anyway; she wrote his backstory, after all. “I won’t even be in this wor—in this town for long.” Yes, great idea. Tell your local superhero you’re a universe-hopping artist/writer with the ability to make anything with the power of drawing and words. He may or may not think you’re crazy, honestly hard to tell.

Jackie smiles, relieved. “In that case, feel free to come along. Though, my friends probably won’t be that happy about it. Don’t worry, I’ll convince them. Now come on!”

Smiling to herself, Crystal grabs her backpack and hurries to catch up.

The house looks exactly like she’d pictured it. A regular suburban sprawl with a big yard and two stories. Much bigger than her own, which was much too small for five people, two cats, and a tortoise.

“Ready?” Jackie had changed into his civilian clothes, ducking into an alleyway with a “no peeking!” Like she had any interest in things like that. Now, in his comfortable red hoodie and completely mask-less, he leads the way up the path and knocks on the door. A moment passes, then it’s opened by a man with a face just like his, hidden mostly under a gray baseball cap. “Jackie!” he says, excited. “We thought you weren’t coming!”

“Decided the city was safe enough for one night,” Jackie shrugs. “Oh, and I brought a friend!” He stands aside, and gestures at Crystal.

“Oh! Uh, hi. I’m Chase.” Chase can’t hide his surprise, though he’s trying his best. “We...weren’t expecting anyone else. We weren’t even expecting Jackie.”

Crystal laughs nervously. “Yeah, it just sort of...happened. It’s Yule.”

“Huh. Well, you’re welcome inside. Come on in!” Chase stands aside, allowing Jackie and then Crystal herself to enter the house.

Crystal’s eyes widen at the sight, and they can’t stop a small gasp from escaping their mouth. It was...all of them. It's kind of trippy, actually, seeing five versions of the same person, wearing different clothes, standing with various postures. Like that one project they tried to do in senior year film class, where they played all the characters. They never got around to finishing it, mostly because about a third of the footage went missing somehow.

“Hey everyone, Jackie’s here!” Chase announces.

“Ah, Jackie! We thought you weren’t making it tonight!” If she couldn’t tell from the glasses, the voice is a dead giveaway for who that is.

One of them waves. The clothes and the silence are also dead giveaways.

“Who’s the kid?” Process of elimination leads to the obvious conclusion for the last one.

“Oh, uh, guys, this is Crystal,” Jackie introduces her. “I ran into her on patrol, and she said she was a fan, and so I invited her to come.”

“They,” Crystal whispers, forcing the single syllable out.

“Hmm? What was that?”

“I’m, uh, good with ‘they’ too. If you don’t mind. ‘She’ is good too. But, um, just...so you know...” Crystal trails off. It’s the first time they’d ever, in person, made that point clear. She’d never even told her family. The only people who really know are the people who read her blog description and maybe some people on Discord.

“Well, okay then!” Jackie smiled. “Don’t worry, I get it.” She knows he does. This is a world where her headcanons are canon. And damn the canonicity of the SP playthrough, a queer hero is cool. And maybe...there were personal reasons why she thought that, but...it doesn’t stop it from being cool.

“Yeah, okay, whatever makes you comfortable. I’m Marvin, that’s Henrik, call him Schneep, and Jameson. You already know Jackie and Chase.” He points out each one as he says their names. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

“Hey! Who’s the host here?” Chase sounds indignant. He turns to Crystal. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

Schneep and Marvin roll their eyes in perfect unison.

Jackie gasps dramatically. “Snacks!” He runs towards the coffee table, which holds a variety of sweet and salty foods. “We got chips, we got chocolate, we got other foods starting with the letter C...”

“Hey, dude, can you leave the plain candy bars alone?” Chase asks. “Bobby’s allergic to nuts so she wants those.”

“The kids—I mean there’s a kid here?” Crystal asks.

Chase nods. “Yeah, I, uhm, got my kids, Bobby and Trevor, for the weekend. They’re in their room right now, but they told me they might come down later.”

“That’s cool,” Crystal says. “I like kids. I’m kind of good with them, I think. I mean, my sister is better, kids just love her.”

“Chase, if you ever need a babysitter, I think they are volunteering,” Schneep says lightheartedly.

“What?! I—uh—no, I can’t. I won’t be in town for long, I’m just here for Yule.”

“Isn’t that, like, a witch holiday?” Chase asks.

Jameson shakes his head, then makes some quick symbols with his hands. Not for the first time, Crystal wishes she’d fully learned sign language. Even ASL could help in a situation like this. The others understand, nodding.

“Pagan, huh?” Marvin plops down onto the couch. “Interesting. What made you choose that?”

Crystal thinks. “It seemed...the most right. It makes the most sense with my...worldview. And I like magick. That’s the kind with a K, but if regular magic existed I’d like that too.”

Marvin chuckled. “Well, keep your hopes high, kid.”

Crystal smiles softly. She feels a bit...giddy inside. Marvin was her second favorite, and here she is, talking magic with him. Kinda. More dancing around the subject. But it would be weird to let on that she knew everything about these guys.

Time passes. The five fall back into their comfortable back-and-forth banter, the sort Crystal loves to write. Hearing it come to life, and more importantly, actually sounding like something they would say, made Crystal feel full of joy. But even more so, the fact that these five characters who she’d held so close to her heart seemed to incorporate them into their dynamic so easily...even though Crystal was just jumping into conversation occasionally, they felt a ball of light and fuzziness inside themself.

Eventually a small brunette girl and a tiny blonde boy came out and joined for a while. The two are greeted with familiar enthusiasm. Bobby and Trevor are clearly well-known and well-loved among the group. After a while, Chase herds them back upstairs for bedtime. Marvin and Schneep get into a competitive Mario Kart race, which ends in controllers being thrown across the room. Jackie convinces everyone to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming for a while. The snacks are devoured. Then, it’s one o’clock.

“We should probably all go to bed soon,” Schneep says, looking at the clock.

“Oh, so says you, Mr. All-nighter,” Marvin laughs.

“I have work to do! You have no excuse and needs your rest!”

“Except you have a day off tomorrow, so you have no work and also no excuse,” Jackie points out.

Jameson signs something, and Crystal vaguely recognizes one of the signs, though she doesn’t remember the meaning. Luckily, the others are not so inhibited. “Alright, dude,” Chase says. “You want us to walk you there?”

Jameson shakes his head. “Are you going home?” Crystal asks. When Jameson nods, they continue, “I should probably go to. You, um, don’t mind if I walk with you...for a bit? Not all the way?”

After a moment of consideration, Jameson nods. A chorus of goodbyes follows the two of them out the door.

It’s dark. Crystal can’t help but be a bit scared, though she knows that with her sketchbook and pencil in hand she’s well-prepared for any threat. If she has enough time to draw something to defend herself, that is. Jameson doesn’t seem worried. Then again, he’d faced worse than street criminals.

Crystal tried to think of something to say. Come on, this should be easy. JJ is their favorite, and they really wanted to talk to him. But...this was good too. The two of them walk in silence, but it’s a companionable type of silence. Crystal isn’t really comfortable with being the shorter one of the two, even though they’re shorter than most people. Maybe because they’d always thought of JJ as the small one, even though his height is basically the same as the others, give or take a centimeter or two.

Still, Crystal has something they need to say. “Can I call you JJ?”

A nod, accompanied by a friendly mustache wiggle. Crystal laughs. “Thanks. I...” she swallows nervously. “I just want to say I’m sorry.”

JJ looks at her, confused. “For all you’ve gone through, I-I mean,” she elaborates. “It’s-it’s awful and-and-and you’re so nice, um, you know? So you didn’t deserve it.”

JJ can’t hide his confusion. He’s stopped walking, directly under a street lamp. It was very dramatic. He knows that Crystal can’t understand BSL, but he makes some vague gestures that she takes to mean, what are you talking about?

“I know a lot,” Crystal says simply. “And I...have my own demons to face...actually I, um, just realized that one of her names also starts with A.”

Jameson’s eyes widen. He starts to gesture again, but Crystal shakes her head. “No, we—um, I don’t want to. Not now. And you’ll-you’ll-you guys’ll probably never see me again. I need to go back home. I have stories that I need to work on. But...I’m really sorry.” She feels tears in her eyes. “I’m really so sorry.”

Still confused, but understanding a bit more, Jameson nods. Crystal gives a watery smile. “Goodbye. Tell the others I said bye too.” She turns to leave, but JJ taps her shoulders. He spreads his arms wide, almost questioning. “I...don’t do hugs,” Crystal explains. “Not always. But, um...this is going to sound weird, but give me your hand.” JJ complies. Crystal grabs it with both of her own hands and squeezes tight. “This is the same thing to me,” she explains. “But it feels better. You don’t mind, do you?” JJ smiles, shaking his head.

After a moment, Crystal lets go. She backs away. “Goodbye!” she calls one last time. JJ waves. She turns and dashes away, eventually turning down an alleyway.

The downside of her creations coming to life? It makes the painful parts of their stories so much harder to write. Crystal can feel a hard knot of guilt and sadness in their chest. But without despair, there can’t be any bliss. Without struggle, there would be no peace. And they always ended stories on a hopeful note. They always wrote a happy ending that made everything worth it.

The creator presses her pencil to a fresh sketchbook page and quickly draws an outline of a door. It’s familiar to her, a white rectangle with a silver doorknob. When she looks up, it’s embedded on the nearby wall like it’s always been set there. She steps forward, pulling it open. On the other side is a well-lit basement room, a bed and two overflowing bookshelves, tan walls hidden by posters. She crosses through, closing the door behind her. It fades away.

[j216]

coniferous zeroing by Jared Haer Tempests Unresistedness Study #beautiful #picoftheday #paint #generativeArt #trippy #me