#tried to take a mirror selfie and it didnt work | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 21 hours ago

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Okay, but consider a secret competition amongst sinners in the hotel to try and get a clear and legible picture of the radio demon.

Bonus if you make it a selfie.

It starts not so subtly, with several pic attempts that were just selfies the others were taking and alastor just so happened to be around. Wink wink etc.

It takes him all of three seconds to work out what they're up to and in the spirit of entertainment, doesnt really try to stop them per say. Not directly... but he's also not going to make it easy for anyone either.

A few attempts are thwarted by his shadowstep ability just before the shutter clicks, other times the distortion seems stronger than anticipated. But he hasnt worked it out yet right? Nah they're being super subtle about it and he's always humming something, distracted.

They up the ante.

Holes in books people nonchalantly read on the couch. Hidden camera in a picture frame.

One person attempting an obvious photo while another tries covertly.

Even attempting to sneak into his room (bad idea) which only cost a finger.

Trying to catch him whilst he's cooking and relaxed but those damn ears always twitch upright and swivel their way. Fucking stupid deer powers!

Putting a phone on a timer in certain halls when he's supposed to do maintenance... or on his way to his room.

Making up issues with plumbing for maintenance reasons in your boobytrapped room. But even mid task, he comes out a pixellated mess.

Charlie even tried to get a pic through a series of well angled mirrors whilst alastor was reading page 146 of her latest ideas for redemption activities with a grin so strained you'd think he was contemplating second death by tickling. But he'd done it. Read the qhole 231 pages. Which definitely should have been soporific enough...

Husk tried to trick him into getting too drunk to maintain the filter... to no avail. It made it stronger.

Niffty tried through the vents. Poppets hauled her back out with admonishing finger wagging.

Vaggie tied her phone to the end of her spear and threatened him... and he laughed. At that point they started to suspect he was onto them.

Nothing worked.

Lucifer, because it was annoying him now, tried snapping a pic through the tower windows from several metres in the air because wings. Vaggie kicked herself for forgetting she could also do that...

"Are you quite done with your little teamwork activity?" Alastor asks one evening, startling a few who hadn't realised he'd known. "Really, it was admirable how creative some of you were but i have been putting up with the picture box's attempts for several decades now... i know when a camera is pointing my way. Their frequency is į̸͇̈ͅr̸̻̈̐̈́̈́r̴̳̞̈̓̓î̷̻̍́̔͐t̴̫̱̻͌ä̴̡͈̯͙̻́̄̓t̴̹̠͎͚͙̒̾̉į̷̨̮̟̲̔́n̴͍̬̍̃̌̊ģ̵͚̼͓̠̑̓̊̿̈́..."

"Can i take a pretty picture with you sir?" Niffty asks.

He considers it as several others start protesting that that didn't count if you asked. Angel's stance was that if bribery was allowed, then he had some things to put on the table...

Alastor gave a long-suffering glare and told the spider not to put anything on the table he didnt want to lose to tomorrow night's stew. Angel retorted that at least he could then say he'd told the big bad radio demon to eat a dick and it would be technically true...

The starlet got pained static warble tha made the lights flicker, and a whack over the ear from a truly disgusted Vaggie for that one.

Alastor ultimately declines Niffty's offer. "Afraid not, my dear."

She stomps her foot. "I'll tell Miss Rosie you're not being fair..."

He laughs, "HAH! Please Do. She'll find it simply hilarious... she's been trying for years to do the same and not yet succeeded despite her best efforts. Quite putout about the whole thing."

"You know I could just nullify your little static field thing with a snap of my fingers, right?" Lucifer points out.

There's a pointed blare of an air raid siren in response.

Through narrowed eyes and clenched teeth, Alastor replied, "Of course you would need to resort to cheating to win, i assumed locating a break in the field was half the challenge... or is that too tall a task for you, your lowness?"

"The fuck did you call me, sinner?!"

"Someone who seems to like the easy way out, is that not accurate?"

"Okay now you've done it, say goodbye to your little radiowaves cause this is a royal timeout!"

"Stop." Charlie commands, freezing the two men in their tracks, one about to snap his fingers and the other manifesting shadow tendrils to try and rip his majesty's face off.

Maybe wearing that would confuse cameras until the king saw sense?

"I'm sorry if we got too competitive and it impacted your privacy, Al. I should have checked you would be okay with this, knowing you've already been dealing with a stalker..." Charlie said, chagrined. "And dad, I should have remembered how competitive you get over these sorts of things. But that's not an excuse. Neither of you have the right to be so rude to each other. Now apologise!"

"I would rather go vegan, my dear. " Alastor drawled, the strained grin easing slightly as the tendrils receeded into his flesh.

"And I'd rather you stay away from my daughter, you manipulative pinstriped fatherfucker, but here we are. " Lucifer spread his arms wide, theatrically, before deflating and rubbing his temples. "So I'm... sorry for threatening to tear your powers away, I didn't like it when heaven tried that with me. But I will get that picture. There has to be a way."

Alastor's expression flitted from fury to intrigue and then a general neutrality. "Well, if you can be cordial... so can I, I suppose. For Charlotte. I apologise for intending to rip your face off." He sees the blanche on Charlotte's face.

"Ah, I believe my apology was supposed to be around persistently mocking your stature, your tiny-but-mightiness. Apologies, then... but if it will soothe any hurt feelings I will tell you all a secret... there is at least one time when my distortion is not active. Two, if you count being dead, ha hah!" He pointedly ignored Charlie's flinch at his statement. "However I must stress that neither instance involves sleeping or bathing so do please understand that any further attempts to enter my rooms unbidden will be met with harsh penalties."

"Awww..." Angel pouts, then waggles his eyebrows. "I got an idea how to catch you offguard, radio daddy..."

There was a loud audience booing sound from the cane. "No, thank you. Now if that is all, I have a broadcast this evening to prepare for... hmmm?"

Alastor left in a cascade of shadows.

"Do you think he meant when he was broadcasting? Maybe when his signal is already bouncing across the rings, the distortion goes quiet?" Husk says.

"You mean Pride ring only, right? None of these overlords should have the power to reach other rings." Lucifer frowns.

"If you got tv or radio down there in the other rings, that's on vox and alastor. They're the source of it for some reason... apart from my collar, the fact that the phones and radios still worked while he was gone was a good indicator of him still being alive. Otherwise it'd be dead air. Vox can't push his tv as strongly without the ambient support, not with how vast his network is nowadays." Husk shrugs.

"Thats not how sinners are designed to work, how did that even happen? I would have noticed."

"Maybe its not strong enough to catch your attention when you're hyperfocused on other projects?" Charlie offered.

"Maybe. Alright, I actually have to go stop your Aunties in Envy from rampaging, duckling, but I'll be back by dinner. If not, send Vaggie and her spear, I might need the backup." Lucifer smiled, clapping his hands and summoning a portal to a very blue looking place.

If he left it for a few seconds longer to let the sinners see what another ring looked like, who could fault him?

----

Alastor switched out the record and returned to this evening's topic of discussion... Dismemberment: the right tools for your (or their) bodytype. He allowed his larger self to slip the confines of the soul-ly physical and expand out into the radio waves. Much like with his shadows, he could exist as something intangible but definitely alive and aware.

The soothing sensation was ruined by the flicker of several cameras going off around his body, snapping him back like a rubber band. Someone would get eaten for this at the next music break.

He continued the light hearted patter about ensuring you had a hacksaw the same length as your arm and no more to disjoint, because too large and you'd end up tired before you got through the first joint! Too short and it would add hours onto the task.

In the background, several people screamed as shadow tendrils pulled them from the ceiling, vents, in the record cupboard and under his writing desk to toss them out of the recording booth.

The tendrils jabbed pointedly at the On Air sign before retreating.

There were groans of disappointment when several photos were checked and found to have nothing of note to report.

Really... he'd outright told them as much!

Well, seems he may have to try showering at Rosie's tonight if no one was willing to behave. The indignity of being known...

Out the window he spied a number of drones gathering. Hmmm, the television was being bothersome... perhaps a stroll would be in order?

---

Attempting an aerial shot whilst the sinner was distracted in conversation admidst town didn't work out how Vaggie had hoped. She texted the messy attempt to Charlie with a sad emoji face.

The smug fucker then grinned right up at her! The audacity!

She did have to glide through several obnoxious whirring things on the way back to the hotel that removed a few feathers much to her chagrin. Well, at least they needed a preening anyway and Charlie liked the task...

---

Tremors were the first warning that something had gone wrong.

Angel bursting through the front doors calling out that there was an Overlord battle a few blocks over, was the second. He'd been halfway to the hotel, after Val had called him in for a quick fuck and to try on a new little number that Velvette had whipped up for the next club night, when power had shorted out in every direction.

Explosive lightning and laughter echoed around the place, and he (like any sinner with half a braincell to their name) skedaddled to safety. You did NOT wanna get between the bigwigs throwing down.

Pink smoke had begun to flood the area, and he'd vaguely wondered if Valentino and Vox were havving a public breakup again. It happened a few times a year... but they didn't normally get this out of hand.

Speaking of...

There was a wet spine-rattling thud as a large purple arm crunched into the ground outside, destroying part of the driveway. Vaggie swore in frustration, Charlie reminded her that her dad could fix this in a snap, it'd be fine!

There's a rather animalistic roar, and then a too-familiar static shriek, and a rending bone sound that was far too visceral for anyone's mental health as another arm was half ripped off the gargantuan moth overlord.

Vox intersecting Alastor by blasting him with concentrated electricity to drive the Radio Demon from his partner. Allowing Valentino to grab hold of an extended antler and tear it off with several of his hands.

He lost a chunk of flesh for that, but loudly taunted Alastor over this little victory. Buildings were annihilated as wings spread, only for them to fall into shreds as a massive pale creature of too many teeth and voidless eyes enlarged into the battle.

"Is that... Rosie?" Charlie felt her jaw fall open at the revelation.

Niffty was giggling beside her, and patted her hand kindly. "She's really REALLY good at biting when she gets all big!"

"Er... I can see that..." she murmurs back, seeing the way half of Vox's massive screen was shattered into cracked, bleeding lines by her primary jaws. Talons grappling at the moth's wings.

Quite the multitasker.

Alastor's own assualt on the moth pivoted to Vox, as the television clearly readied a charge for Rosie. Tendrils hurled the overlord away and into a nearby 'parkland' (that sinners rarely attended because if the plants didn't kill you, the animals would eat you alive). Several angry fire-breathing ducks set parts of his coat abalze for disturbing their nesting area.

The pair grappled at one another, tearing bloody gouges, blasting static in a way that seemed painful, and using their powers to shred the other. As Rosie circled Valentino, or what was left of him, and deftly tore pieces apart. Without his guns, and when his size didn't give an advantage... he wasn't the best fighter.

Rosie would shred his tongue if he tried to dose her with his venom, and the smoke didn't do much for them at their size. A mild calming effect at best. Probably for the best, who wants an overlord suddenly desperate for stimulation raising your insurance premiums in a way that would have the imp on the other end of the phoneline howling with laughter at the reason for your claim?

In any case, it's a mess over there.

Vox finally seems to be unable to fight back and there's a moment where it looks like Alastor might just kill the man... when Valentino manages to knock Rosie right into the Radio Demon, sending both into a barely-standing office block.

Valentino, what's left of him, maintains a protective stance over Vox, who is starting to lose size. The cannibals grin, acting rather like possessed dolls as they unhinge their jaws and launch forwards, tearing chunks off the nearest wings.

He claws back, violently, and bites at them. Not with the finesse of others, but enough to disorient as some small faction of his spit hits their bloodstreams. Not enough, not when they're titanic in size... but enough to give them a split second's pause as the world tilts slightly, and he jams a claw into Rosie's abdomen.

She snarls, her teeth clacking on bone as she bites at what she can reach. Alastor bites the moth's throat, hard, an audible crunch of windpipe is heard even as Valentino's scrabbling gouges out an eye.

Vaggie has to turn away or throw up, trapped in her own head.

A cry of outrage as the whole powergrid goes dark and a semi-recovered Vox unleashes it at his adversaries, sending the pair reeling. The barely-alive remains of Valentino disappear as he shrinks, a tattered almost-corpse whose flesh sits between painfully clenched teeth as the enlarged overlords are turned into conduits for everything pentagram city has to offer.

"What the fuck did I just portal back to?" Lucifer breaks in, startling more than a few of the horrified spectators.

"I don't... know. One minute we were in here and then Valentino's arm landed outside and... this." Charlie murmurs, bewildered and worried as she sees the two overlords she actually likes start to smoke, char and even catch fire from the sustained charge. "Can we do something? Can we interfere or does that put them at greater risk?"

"We can't. If someone challenges an overlord they can't really turn it down without losing their status, or their life. Part of the whole schtick I really hated most. One minute you're having breakfast, next some whacky motherfucker with a disco theme and some sort of ice powers comes bursting into your house demanding to fight. You just gotta." Husk replied, watching the whole shitshow with a detachment born of too many years of exactly this mess. "I think it'll turn around though."

"And Rosie won't get in trouble for interfering? Or, does that mess with Al's status?"

"Nah, if it's 2 on 1, you can call on an ally to fight them. Or take them on yourself if you're strong enough. I've fought alongside Al more than once, when another triad or duo or whatever upstart overlord group decides to take him on without any notice. Pentious wasn't the most powerful up and comer, but he was usually pretty polite about his attacks; if you let him know you really couldn't do a battle right this instant, he was always open to scheduling one in for later. Think that's why Al never really hurt him, when he could've. You don't punch down and all."

"Oh please, that guy would punch babies if he had half a chance..." snarked Lucifer, automatically.

Husk snorted, but rolled his eyes. "Actually, your majesty, you touch a kid wrong around him or rosie there and they'll turn you inside out. It's fascinating in a way that ruins any chance you'll ever have of sleeping again without seeing it behind your eyelids."

But Rosie and Alastor are moving against the current, and it must surely end soon. The power substations and relays were already exploding all over the city from such a massive drain.

Vox was snatched up and held aloft in a shadow tendril that seemed to glitch a little too hard for cosmetic effect. Rosie delicately snagged up a purple and red thing that must be Valentino.

Whatever they were saying, was lost... but voices grew angry, then frustrated, then petulant... and finally, something blue and lust pink passed from the defeated to the other overlords. Reparations, one would assume.

Almost courteously, Rosie and Alastor then carefully returned Vox and Valentino to a semi-destroyed floor of Vee Tower. Where a rather infuriated Velvette was standing, looking ready to tear everyone involved apart.

Rosie made pleasantries with the younger overlord, and then nodded. The pair moving away from the tower as they began to shrink, shadows overtaking them from the ground up.

"Incoming." Husk warned.

A writhing black pool of shadow coalesced behind them all, inside the lobby and just enough away from the doors as to be hard to see from outside. It spread and shrank, like a too-slow heartbeat.

Eventually disgorging two pale, worse-for-wear overlords flat on the floor in a mix of blood and viscera. Neither appeared conscious, not properly, at any rate.

"Oh shit... how do we even fix this?! Can we...? Niffty, can you get the first aid kit? Ohgosh I can't remember the last time I went to aunty bel's triage training course!" Charlie began to panic.

Vaggie was at a loss. Exterminators didn't GET hurt, at least so they believed, so this was... well, shit, she didn't know what to do?

Husk and Niffty were already in the thick of it before anyone except mabe Angel snapped out of the momentary surprise. The starlet used a disinfectant by the kit and then got stuck in, he'd seen weirder shit when he was in the Family and you couldn't duck off to a doctor, not to mention what they did to the snitches. And of course, you got good at fixing yourself and others up under Val...

He compresses where husk tells him to, all six hands needed for this endeavour. Heh, Angel was gonna be able to brag he'd played a fucked up game of twister with two overlords and be telling the absolute truth. Niffty was wiping at blood with her cloths and dousing anything she could reach in antiseptic. Angel winced and thanked everything these guys seemed utterly out of it.

There was a very pointed whirring click, almost too quiet to notice... but it caught everyone's attention. Lucifer was staring at his phone screen, eyebrow raised.

"He didn't lie... looks like there's one specific situation where the distortion doesn' work." The king explained, fascinated, and honestly a bit perturbed. "Was he expecting one of us to fight him to find out or what? Maybe he does need like, hug therapy or something, Char Char."

"Can you delete that as fast as possible, your majesty? I dunno if he's conscious but Vox is kinda connected to all phones and devices from Voxtech... and if he saw this, well,it'd be all over Pride in the hour. And then we wouldn't be able to keep sinners from trying their luck on rising to Sovereign real fucking fast." Husk said, putting a patch over empty eye sockets so there was at least something keeping out infection until everything reformed.

"He... what? Wouldn't they go after the tv and the moth first?" Lucifer frowned. None of this made sense.

"Yes, and no. See Vox and Val have a lot of airtight contracts keeping them safe in their tower and territory, there's also Velvette who's a goddamn nightmare when she fights. Not to mention, if the two overlords they fought left 'em alive, then a small piece of their protection extends to the spared overlord until they're healed. Or at least mobile. Because to hurt them would be to defy what Al and Rosie wanted by keeping 'em alive, right? It's all politics and backstabbing nonsense." Husk rambled, watching Niffty sew up some rather deep lacerations from the muscle up.

"That's ridiculous."

"That's keeping every one of 'em safe right now."

"Okay, I deleted the picture and emptied my bin. Did you need me to ward it or something?"

"Should be okay. It's YOUR phone after all. Any of us did it, Vox'd know immediately... also yeah, he's probably seen your nudes, so you have to move through the stages of grief on that one on your own. It's not a sex thing, he just values information and turns it into targeted ads. Wasn't nearly as twisted before he joined the Vees."

"That's... not comforting. At all."

"Never said it was. Hey, can you like, heal people? Even enough to give these two a jumpstart? I saw they ate some of Val and Vox, and got some souls in their bargaining, but it might not be enough to fix them given how little blood is on the inside right now."

"He's right, Short King, there's more in the carpet based on ow weak everyone's pulses are. Wonder what the fuck triggered a fight like that?" Angel adds, whistling and trying for flippancy despite the internal panic. This was bad. Like, these two hurt was bad, yeah, but Val being hurt that bad was Real Bad and it was public too... he was going to reduce the studio workers to bloody messes when he got back together.

"...hrrkkkk..." chattered the staff, startling more than a few as Lucifer deigned to ruining his white trousers by kneeling next to Rosie. His hands glowed, and something passed from himself to her, sealing a few of the more superficial wounds and lessing the severity of others. The rest was up to her, of course... but it helped.

Angel felt his chain manifest, and his heart leapt into his throat... until he noticed it trained down to a point on the floor between the downed overlords. It was an odd mishmash of green and a dusky pink that suited Rosie well.

"...renegotiated some assets in the ceasefire..."

Lucifer was reluctantly it must be admitted, holding glowing hands over Alastor with less than stellar enthusiasm. Still, whatever he was doing seemed to have aimed right for the eye socket because that fleshed out quickly enough.

"You two got my contract? From Val? Why? What? I mean, I don't do chicks unless I get paid double, but for this I'm willing to give a discount..." he laughed, semi-hysterical. Which only increased as the chain shattered. His heart was thundering. "What the fuck...?"

The bodies under the hands of so many were shuddering back to life. Clearly more mentally aware than physically at the moment, but that was rapidly changing as the moments wore on.

"...if someone wouldn't mind... getting me a bloody mary... I rather need to flush the taste of... insect from my mouth..." Rosie quips stiltedly, sitting up. "It's like those chalky candies, if they also had a hint of grasshopper. And those wings! I'd rather dust my house with my tongue than do that again."

Husk grumblingly went to grab one now the immediacy of the moment had passed.

"Hmmm, this... feels too much like we're surrounded by bleeding hearts, Rosie dear... so I'm going to hazard a guess we didn't rematerialise anywhere near Susan." Alastor said, sititng up and opening the functional eye warily. "Ah, blast. Do-Gooders. I think I can get us to your emporium if you give me a moment..."

"Noooooo no! Please don't go anywhere you're safe here!" Charlie interjects, having found her voice again as things progressed. "I mean, I'm angry about whatever that was out there and we will be talking about it, but... you're safe here, and I can't believe you managed to free Angel somehow, but there was so much blood so I need you to stop trying to get up or I'm going to have a panic attack!"

"This is, literally, nowhere near the worst thing that has ever happened to either of us, Charlotte dear. Don't worry your pretty head over it." Rosie assured, checking on the tattered state of her attire. "Well, this won't do..." She snaps a new outfit for herself.

Alastor glances down at his own and the ever-present smile is tight. "Ah, yes... one moment, it's quite improper to be seen in such a state of undress." His clothes mend easily over the bandages and fading scars thereunder.

Husk courteously hands Rosie her drink and after a moment of lashing his tail, gave Alastor his preferred Rye. He then had to grab them before either overlord could down them in one gulp, because suddenly Angel was a trembling mess in their arms. Or rather, they were trapped in all six of his.

Rosie reacted with a soothing tone and gentle patting. Alastor appeared to be frozen, like a buffering webpage, before relaxing enough to pat the sobbing creature on the back.

"Oh sugar, I'm pleased our negotiations got you out of that bind but it wasn't just you. All Valentino's stars and a few of the more annoyingly important members of Vox's staff are ours now, to free or renegotiate terms with in whatever way we see fit." She leans in close to share a stage whisper. "We just set you free first 'cause Als fond of you. that's all."

"Don't go giving him ideas, Rosie, he keeps making sexual offers at me as it is." Alastor's tone is mildly strained at that, and she laughs at him. "Oh? Should I perhaps go and tell Rosie you suddenly want to spend time discussing her concerns for town each Tuesday at noon?"

Rosie gasped. "You wouldn't dare, I'd tear you limb from limb!"

"Oh I would, now stop encouraging this emotional... whatever this is and do your soothing thing so he'll let go."

"Pfft, Angel Dust would you mind releasing us? I know you're thinking through a lot in that head of yours but if you show too much affection in Al's direction, he may catch fire. Or, worse, he'll set susan on me." Rosie cajoles, until Angel feels able to transition over to the waiting arms of husk.

"I'm also kinda worried about what Val's gonna do when he reforms... normally if he loses something, or gets caught in public, he takes it out on his contracts." Angel admits. "Sometimes he has bits of you torn off for more fucked up videos, and sometimes he just fuck ya til... til you gotta reform. He can get through a whole studio when he's in a rage."

"Never you mind that, he agreed to our renegotiation and now all the contracts have to be approved through us. New and old, and the first thing we demanded was an enthusiastic consent clause, any attempt to void it will breach contract and we will be forced to eat the fool."

"With the right spices, I'm sure we can bear the indignity." Alastor commisserates.

Charlie squeaks in delight. "Are you saying Valentino can't hurt anyone anymore? His souls?"

"Not unless they give consent, and only until they say stop or revoke it in some way." Alastor shrugs, already mentally thumbing through his cookbooks for the right recipe for the moth. Let's be real, he won't last a week without trying something, and then it will be insect for dinner.

"What started this off?" Vaggie asked, suspicious gaze on Alastor.

"Oh, you will love this Vagatha..." he pauses for dramatic effect. "You did! All of you with your little camera game trying to take a photo, it somehow sent Vox into quite the spiral of jealous rage, and he tried to use drones to 'win'. When that failed, the fool confronted me as I was out on a leisurely walk with Rosie..."

"Right through the entertainment district, huh? What a strange route to take from the hotel to cannibal town." Husk quips at them, not falling for their shit for a moment.

"Indeed, how strange that Vox and his paramour waylaid us as we accidentally moved through their territory." Alastor shrugged, and stiffened as that pulled at more than a few stitches. "Ah well, mistakes were made... like those idiots assuming they could confront us and not be dealt with accordingly! Ha-HAH!"

"Are they going to hurt the hotel?" Lucifer jumps in, glaring at the overlords.

"No, and any anger will be aimed directly at Rosie and myself.The residents are safe..." Alastor replied.

Rosie claps her hands, "Oh in all the excitement I forgot that Vox was forced to promise that any reporting he completes on the hotel or associated residents will be neutral at the least, unless he wants to face reprisal. He was quite put out."

They laugh again, the sound as jovial as it was exhausted.

Charlie seemed to be dealing with a whirring mind. "Wait, that's ah-mayyyyy-zing! But... this was our fault? The game triggered all of..." she gestures at the blood and chaos before her, "THIS?!"

Husk returned the glasses, and both overlords swigged it down to chase away lingering bad tastes. The feline watched them, but merely took the glasses withour an offer to refill. he's not handling drunken, injured overlords whose tolerance was as low right now as their percentage of blood inside their bodies.

"Don't worry about it, dear. Vox would have found any reason at all to confront me, that's just how he is. Have you concluded your game yet, though? I would assume at least one of you has worked out that the distortion field is nullified by circumstances wherein the power is required to heal or manage damage. Hmm? I would..." he paused like the word was acidic, 'trust... that you will not be sharing that with Vox? He would devote his afterlife to ensuring I could never block his view again, the perverted voyeur."

"Of course we won't!" Charlie assures.

"I might, if you keep making short jokes." Lucifer says, just to be contrary.

"Now Alastor are you treating a man of his majesty's stature with anything less than respect? He's going to get short with you." Rosie deadpanned, not quite stiffling her laughter.

Lucifer dragged a hand down his face. "Oh Father, there's two of you..."

He was just preparing to send them to sleep for a little healing nap, and to stop them from mocking him again but that was definitely not the main focus here. Of course not.

When Rosie frowned and put a hand to her temple, swaying into an equally confused Alastor. He was glaring at the bartender... but only momentarily as the pair ffell bonelessly onto the floor again. Dazed and blinking slowly a few more times before succumbing to sleep.

Lucifer grinned at the cat. "You dosed them in their drinks? Devious."

"You ain't never had to deal with how infuriatingly peppy those two get when healing, all manic energy until they collapse in the middle of some important task and things go to shit. Easier to let them sleep it off and regain a bit of power first. Can't recall the last time I had to do that... think I used something in a sinner meat sandwich then, though."

"Alright, can we at least get them somewhere comfortable and safe? I don't like that they're laying back in their own blood again..." Charlie interjects. She has an expression on her face that said she was going to Talk to husk very shortly about drink spiking, even if it was necessary.

Angel, still shuddering with aftershocks of relief and fear and just general Holy Shit I'm Free, bends to collect up the Radio Demon as Lucifer deftly carries Rosie into the staff-only lounge area to set them down.

"What?" Lucifer says, when a few people glance at him in surprise. "Char Char, your mother is taller than Rosie, and I managed to carry her around for millennia with no issue... heck, I could carry both of them if I wanted to. now let's get them clean so we don't ruin the upholstery..."

With a snap the newly conjured clothes and sinner's flesh is wiped free of all traces of grime. Only scars, bandages and bruises remain. Rapidly healing before their eyes.

"Niffty, can you fix the stain by the door?" Niffty?" Vaggie looks all over and the maid is just Gone.

So is the stain.

"How did she do that?" the ex-orcist shuddered.

"That's my secret!" comes a barely-sane sing-song tone from the wall to her left, making Vaggie startle. "I cleaned it real good!"

"That you did, kiddo." Husk agreed, unaffected by the horror movie style situation. "Now come outta there so you can take a nap with Al and Rosie, I know you wanna."

"I can?" she gasps and pops out, heading right for the couches the pair were draped upon. She seemed at a loss, but ultimately picked up Alastor's staff and curled up on Rosie, falling fast asleep with her eye wide open.

"That's terrifying and cute. What the fuck is wrong with me that I think that's sorta sweet?" Vaggie murmured.

"So, you get to sleep on Smiles, or can I take one for the team?" Angel nudges Husk in the side and grins.

Husk rolls his eyes. "If you wanna get eaten, sure. I mean, he'd let me, s'long as I purr at some point, but like niffty I wouldn't go putting pressure on those chest wounds til they healed."

Angel's mouth was open. "He what?! Is it a pressure thing? Cause I am very good at playing weighted blanket... and also, go back to the part where you purr?"

"Let's not. And let's be real, if we need something about Niffty sized, his majesty would be the ideal sacrificial... goat or serpent, I guess."

Charlie seemed to adopt a puzzled, musing expression there as if trying to picture it. Vaggie was clearly doing so and her expression was both amused... and haunted.

Husk grinned maliciously at the King, who was spluttering in horror back at the cat. "I mean, if you want to get technical... sure. But the fight they'd have on Al realising it wasn't Niffty wearing a weird hat for some reason, would be legendary. The hotel might not survive."

"I could get behind that..." Angel murmured, picturing something no one wanted to ask about in detail. "I could get Fat Nuggets though, if you think it'd help?"

"...actually, I think someone volunteered already." Husk replied, amused as KeeKee took the chance to sit on the ever-warm Radio Demon. he only ever pet her in private, of course because the Big Bad Reputation might take a hit if he's seen being kind to animals and not punching crying babies or something.

"Okay, I know he'd hate it, but I really wanna take a photo right now..." Charlie groaned, frustrated at the impulse but t was soooo cute and her drawings never came out quite right.

"And start this mess all over again? No thanks. I've had enough of an emotional rollercoaster today!" Angel jokes back, collpasing into an armchair and only vaguely eyeing the drink husk brings him with suspicion. "Reckon I need someone to sit in my lap and purr for me, yeah?"

He nearly drops the drink when Husk does. In full loaf form.

Alastor's cane crackled to life. "Get the picture. You may never get another chance, my dear!"

Charlie frantically takes a number of rapid-fire shots of the rather serious looking Husker and the truly blessed and slightly dazed Angel Dust.

"Char-Char, today has been ridiculous, I think we should all sit down for an hour and just relax. Sound good?" Lucifer offers, conjuring more plush furniture as his daughter and her girlfriend sink into the softness of a couch. He wiggles between them and wraps his wings around the pair, drawing them in.

"That looks cozy as fuck, I'd be jealous if I didn't have a lapful of gorgeous man." Angel mumbles, half-asleep already. Lucifer realised the rest of them were still a mess and snaps away the remaining blood and grime. "Thanks short king, lemma suck ya-..." it trails off into a soft snore.

"Phew, that could have been weird." Lucifer mumbled, feeling Charlie rest her head on his shoulder and snuggle close. Vaggie tried, but was somewhat stiffer, until he made a rather pointed soft trill that angels shared when roosting with one another. And she settled instantly.

"Okay, maybe sinners aren't all bad... even if they do insane shit that turns out altruistic in the end." He murmurs, looking at the two overlords, who stirred lightly but settled easily enough when Niffty and KeeKee redistributed their weight accordingly.

"...high praise... from a not-too-terrible father..." crackles the cane.

It makes Lucifer laugh, rather than furious. "Oh, coming from you Captain daddy issues?"

Angel murmurs something suspiciously like "...c'n be ya daddy...' before his head lolls.

Lucifer can't contain the snort. "Alright, will you actually go to sleep if I put on one of your radios?"

"...deal, your Majesty."

With a snap, something slow and soft fills the air, coercing the last few eyes to close after such an oddly eventful afternoon. At least it was never boring around here.

---

End

Random idea i had, not meant to be THIS LONG, couldnt work out how to end it, its 1am fml

#hamburger #alastor #lucifer #vox #valentino #charlie #vaggie #angel dust #niffty #husk #rosie #headcanon idea #phoenixwrites

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symphonicmetal101 · 2 years ago

Text

OM CAST MORNING ROUTINE HCS

Sans MC

Lucifer

Most of the time he wakes up at his desk, groaning as he stretches his aching muscles. His internal clock wakes him up, as well as his discomfort. He pulls himself together enough as he rubs his face and starts to unbutton his shirt as he makes his way to the washroom. Every morning, without fail, one side of his face and hair is completely flat from being pressed against the desk, and every morning, without fail, he hates it, so he just keeps walking past his mirror. Lucifer is a man of efficiency, so yes, he brushes his teeth in the shower. He starts it off hot to release a minute amount of tension in his back and shoulders and wash his hair, before switching it to icy cold to both wake him up, and leave enough warm water for his brothers. So his showers take 10-15 minutes because yeah, he could be faster, but its a place of relaxation and rejuvenation for him while also being considerate. He's normally down in the kitchen by around 5:30, in time to see Beel filling his water bottle for his morning run. He brews himself some coffee, then goes back to his room to finish off any work he didnt get to and organize his work he has to do for the rest of the day. When his coffee is empty, he heads back downstairs and knocks on the doors of those most guilty of oversleeping before making sure whoever is responsible for breakfast is handling it alright, and making himself more coffee to tackle the breakfast table discourse.

Mammon

Def has an alarm clock that says something like "Gotta get that Grimm!!" With a pop out Mammon with a top hat and a cane and a couple grimm flying out in a very cartoony announcer voice. Idk I dont make the rules, my brain was adamant on this though lmao. Almost like a cuckoo clock but in alarm clock form, but the voice gets mire and more disturbing every time you hit snooze. Mammon scares himself awake by hitting snooze five times to bolt out of bed and reset the clock so he can get up for the day. He heads to the bathroom and checks himself out in the mirror, especially his teeth/smile. He uses mouthwash first, and gets ready for his shower. By the time he's awake, most of the hot water has been used up, so he gets about .5 seconds of warm water, and then the house hears him yelp as the cold water comes on. Hes a little grumbly about it, and goes to sit on his bed on his phone for an unprecedented amount of time until Lucifer knocks on the door and he gets his butt back in gear. He's quick to then throw together and put on his outfit, spray a tasteful amount of cologne on, take a mirror selfie and head down for breakfast. He doesn't normally have much of an appetite in the morning, so if hes not hungry for the breakfast provided, he gives it to Beel and grabs a granola bar and an orange. After eating he rushes back to his room to properly brush his teeth, double check he has his wallet and phone, and then head out.

Levi

Levi usually stays up to ungodly hours playing video games, so when Beel wakes up for his 3am fridge raid he knocks on Levis door as a signal for him TO GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. Levi's "morning" doesn't usually start til 12-2 in the afternoon, but he has to wake up at some point in between bc family breakfast is mandatory. But once he wakes up the second time its perfect because the house is usually empty, so its quiet and he can use ALL the hot water for himself. After his bath/shower he logs on to the games on his phone to do the daily tasks before settling down and doing his school work.

Satan

Satan usually falls asleep sitting up or reclined with a book on his face or chest, so sometimes he wakes up purely from discomfort. Other times its from a tamagotchi-like device that doubles as his alarm clock. He wakes up the first time it goes off, because he's eager to see the egg hatch/a pixelated kitten come out of a basket on his screen. He showers at night before reading, so he just gets up, checks himself out in the mirror, vrushing his teeth, and tries a couple poses with his jacket....he only stops when he senses Lucifer walking in the hallway, so goes to open his door just as Lucifer is about to walk by to try and get him to walk into it. Once the little squabble is settled, Satan turns back into his room to relax a bit before family breakfast. He takes care of his tamagotchi before hiding it in his jacket and heading downstairs. Satan believes breakfast is vital, so he always eats what he can and tries to be one of the first out of the house so he can find a few precious moments more for his digital pet.

Asmodeus

Hes the only one who showers twice, once in the morning, once in the evening. Asmodeus is a fucking disney princess...kind of, the birds outside his window wake him up and he chucks his actual alarm clock at the window bc they woke him up 2 minutes before the alarm. Hes a bit of a hot mess as he wakes up, but nothing a few masks, a hot shower, proper hair care, make up, a cute outfit and some confidence cant fix- because Asmo normally goes to bed early (around 10:30) (on nights hes not partying or smthn) he wakes up around 6:30 to get the ball rolling. He likes to make really foamy smiles as he brushes his teeth, being a little goofy in the morning feels healing. He checks his face for any visible lines or wrinkles, before uttering a positive affirmation about himself to the mirror and flashing another smile. He gets all undressed and has a shower- all his products match in scent and have very specific roles to play. Once out of the shower he stays in his towel on his head and his robe as he carefully plans his outfit and accessories, and then sits down to do his makeup at his vanity. He hums a lot, and sometimes has quiet classical music playing, though its always more cheerful than what Lucifer listens to. Asmo is all dressed and ready by the time Lucifer is walking by, so before Lucifer can knock, Asmo opens the door and begs him to take a picture of him in his outfit, which he normally gets upon giving the deadly puppy dog eyes so early in the morning. Asmo messes around on Devilgram until its time for breakfast, which he often makes himself because he caters it towards whatever diet he's trying, but its always a warm food. He cant stand a cold breakfast food. He'll often head out early to pick up a drink from Starbucks/the equivalent before heading to school.

Beel

If it werent for Belphies magic, Beel would always be tired bc of how much he wakes up at night and how early he gets up in the morning. He gets up around 5:00 to really just brush his teeth and throw some clean work out clothes on, and maybe do a few stretches. He also writes out any plans he has for fangol so he doesn't forget the approach he wants to take later. He has a towel and two water bottles he takes, on for water and one for a protein shake. He enjoys the quiet and the casual small talk he can make with his biggest brother while he gets ready to head out. He has a strict workout regiment he sticks to everyday, and comes back to the house around 7:30. He has enough time for a quick cold shower, then to make it back downstairs in time for breakfast. He won't leave for school unless he has a partner, be it Belphie or otherwise.

Belphie

Morning? Routine? This guy?!??!?! No, time is an illusion and morning is a dreaded time when hes physically dragged out of bed.

Diavolo

Oh he fucking hates waking up. Barb is his alarm clock though, so he begrudgingly gets out of bed on the fourth attempt to get him up. He rubs his fave to wake up enough to brush his teeth before taking a hot fucking shower that would boil anyone else alive. His clothes are set on the bed for him, but he tries to get away with as much sitting around in his towel as he can. Breakfast is sitting at a way too empty table and reading latest reports from nobles and Mephistopheles newsletter. Diavolo has a filling breakfast, because often times he forgets to eat if hes attempting to eat and work. After breakfast he does some planning with Barb.

Barbatos

This man straight up refuses to sleep. When he does, he freezes time to have a solid 16-27 hours of sleep bc goddamn hes exhausted. When he wakes up he takes his precious time, brushing his teeth, having a loooong hot shower, and then staying in his bathrobe and indulging in self care the way Asmodeus taught him. He stays in his bathrobe and face mask while he brews himself some non-caffienated tea. He reads a book as he drinks before getting dressed and doing his hair. He goes to his garden and tends to it a bit before washing his hands and brewing some more green tea and settling down to review Diavolos meetings and schedule.

Mephistopheles

Mephi writes best in the morning, so he's up bright and early around 5 o clock, and has showered, dressed, and brushed his teeth by 5:15. He does some morning stretches and meditation before settling down to write uninterrupted from about 6-7:30. Bc I like to project, he def takes care of his little brother, so at 7:30 on the dot he stops whatever he's doing to go make breakfast for him and his brother, who is just barely waking up and going into the bathroom. Food is on the table by 7:45, which always has a carb, protien, and a fruit. Meph would have coffee, but usually makes a smoothie so both he and his brother can enjoy it. On days his brother is awake early enough, they make the smoothies together. By 8:30 they are out the door so Meph can drop his brother off before going to school himself. (Hc his brother to be 8-10 ish)

Simeon

Similar to Meph, Simeon likes to do grammar and proofreading in the morning, so he's up around 6 to do 15 minutes of yoga before proofreading. Around 7, he does another half hour of yoga before knocking on Luke's door and asking if he wants to join him for a walk. Simeon makes food the night before, so when he comes home he has a cool shower and eats breakfast on the way to school.

Luke

Again, bc I like to project, Luke sets his alarm for 6, so he has time to play in the morning with his stuffies. When Simeon knocks on his door to see if he wants to go for a walk, he usually agrees and quickly gets his clothes on and teeth brushed. He takes showers at night, so as soon as they get home he also grabs one of whatever Simeon made the night before to eat for breakfast. On the way to school he texts Barb good morning, and tells Simeon everything he's looking forward to learning that day.

Raphael

He doesnt sleep well because of PTSD and flashbacks, so he's also awake early, around 4:30 and brushes his teeth. He does language study for an hour and a half, and when he hears Simeon wake up he heads to the courtyard to practice martial arts and sparring. At 7:30 he's back inside, has a QUICK like...2 minute cool shower, polishes his spear and brushes his teeth one more time before heading to the kitchen and meeting Solomon for whatever monstrosity breakfast may be. Thats about all his willing social interaction for the day, and eats on the way to school.

Solomon

He's almost as bad as Lucifer, but wakes up at some point after falling asleep at his desk to go get into bed. He has an alarm set for 6:30, and uses a spell to hide it somewhere in his room. That way when it goes off he has to physically get up and find it to turn it off. He hates it, but its what works best at least on weekdays. Weekends are different xbdjdjd. He has a long hot shower bc hes lonely and gets dressed. He always entertains the idea of stretching/meditating/etc but waves it off bc he can just magic peace of mind and joints that dont creak, right? Admittedly, if he's running late he skips the shower and just magics it ....sometimes he does it for a few weeks bc its just ...convenient. He heads to the kitchen to make breakfast and lunch for him and Raphael. Once Raph leaves Solomon sits by himself at the table and lets the existential dread of being lonely forever wash over him before shaking it off and teleporting to school just in time.

Thirteen

Bdjdbdksos shes the queen of multiple alarms, they are set for 6:30, 6:45, 6:50, 6:55 and it usually gets smashed if it gets to that point. Aka she just hits it repeatedly, she chucks it, she stomps on it, whatever. After huffily getting rid of the shrapnel, she goes straight to the bathroom her lionsmane of bedhead for a shower. I think she eats mints in the shower...like she pops one in her mouth before going in. She has a warm shower and usually only stays in as long as it takes her to wash her hair. Def sings in the shower. When she gets out she changes right away, keeps the towel around her shoulders and has a mini karaoke session with herself, the mirror and her hairbrush as she tames her hair best she can. Headbangs a couple times for that volume, if yknow you know. She puts her death metal playlist on and jams out/air guitars while she waits for her like....pizza pops or somethin to finish in the microwave. She usually has an energy drink with her breakfast, but some of the spirits that chill with her have been trying to push her to try hot chocolate bc they know she likes that too and its a little healthier. She heads out whenever she feels like it headphines blaring. Shes good friends with Madame Scream, and gets a free cookie or cakepop everyday from her on her way to school. Usually shows up early bc shes planning on rigging some sort of trap lmao.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed that lovelies! Its a longer post than usual but Im really happy wi this one!

Check out my other works through my masterlist and please reblog if you liked this!

#v talks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #obey me undateables #obey me new three #too many tags fucks with the system so it sucks i cant tag for every characters....

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like,

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

��um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

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milkweedman · 3 years ago

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I have recently started trying to take selfies to send my fiance (this is a Big Deal for me given that i can barely look in mirrors and prior to a month or two ago the most recent picture of me was probably from about 2015), which still feels very awkward, but im getting used to it. Anyway, wore a terrible polyester shirt from the back of my closet (jacket ??? Sweatshirt ?? I do not understand or remember the distinction between most of those words, idk. It is on my torso) today out of laundry desperation and realized it actually fits very well. But it is polyester, so 1) it's too hot and 2) i dont want to wash it. So now im thinking ... what if i tried to make the same shirt but not out of plastic ....

I tried doing this before with a tshirt and it didnt really work out, but... maybe after i finish the skirt i will give it another try. The only thing is that the fabric is very thick, and i doubt i would be able to find a good cotton substitute of the same thickness. And im pretty sure the fit would be very different if it were thin cotton. So ill have to think about that some.

Also, the weather is slightly warming up now and i accidently watched a video that made me really want to have a lot more hand sewn clothes, so im planning on digging the skirt back out and doing some work on it this weekend, hopefully

#the pic is one i accidently took bc i almost dropped my phone post selfie but i rly liked it actually #wrote a ton of tags that were rambly and pointless and could be better distilled by quoting that post thats like #'actually i am incredibly gender conforming its just that the gender im conforming to is incredibly rare and only i have it'#quite enjoy being a man and have zero interest in not being a man but also when i say 'man' i mean something totally different #from what everyone thinks #male in a fucked up deep sea creature sense. u cant conceptualize it and u dont think thats right but also u dont wanna argue bc #deep creatures are offputting as hell and youd rather actually just leave #does that make sense ?#anyway yeah Gender Feelings or whatever

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mtfstuff · 4 years ago

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Jimmy's pov

I tried to change, I really did. But it just never worked. I tried to do more sports, eat healthier and so on but it didnt show any results so I had to change my plan.

My old doctor told me that I wouldnt have long to live if I dont do anything. I was overweight, had skin problems and almost an organ failure.

I tried a new lifestyle and I failed so new plan.

I moved cities and tried to look for a new body. I knew the ritual through my granny, she teached me it some time before she 'died'. In reality she swapped bodies and lives a new life on Hawaii.

After some days I found my victim. I had to choose carefully as this ritual only works once in a lifetime. I chose this good looking doctor from the hospital I newly went to.

I observed him for some time to learn his daily routine and then I started to get into his life.

I started to appear at the hospital more frequently so he'd start noticing me. I went to the park where he would go jogging and so on.

One day at the hospital we got into a conversation. We talked about our interests and because I knew what he was doing all the time I managed to brown-nose him. I learned that his name is Mike. It went so far that we exchanged numbers.

I was one step closer to my new life.

We spoke often after that, even met after his workshifts, we sort of became friends. He even tried to help me with my body, he wrote down a diet and what sports I should do. He was so generous and I started to feel bad for him. But I still wanted to commence further with my plan.

One evening, when I knew that he had the night shift all alone, I baked special muffins. They contained sleeping pills. A dose that could almost kill small people, but definitely not that hunk of a man.

So I appeared at his work with those nice muffins. He was oleasantly surprised but to my surprise he ate almost two whole muffins before he fell unconscious.

I dragged him into an empty room and prepared the ritual. I undressed both of us, laid him in the middle of the room and surrounded him with leaves and candles. I took a small bottle with a steong smelling liquid out of my pocket which will be the main part of the ritual but it was missing just one more ingredient. HIS liquid. I started to rub his thick cock. While doing so I admired his muscular body covered in tattoos.

He shot his load and I catched it with my bottle. I was disgusted and turned on at the same time by the fact that I had to drink that. I poured it down and started to feel dizzy. I had no control over my body anymore and I fell down right next to Mike. The last thing I saw before falling unconscious was that Mikes body started to shake and change.

When I woke up I was laying at the same place as before but I wasnt looking at Mike anymore. Well, technically I was but now he looked like my old self. I was thrilled. Looking down at my new body I felt a rush through my body causing my now massive cock to harden. I put Mikes jockstrap and his work clothes on which fitted tight around his muscles. I pulled out my phone and took a quick selfie. I just noticed that that was my old phone. I took out the pin so that Mike as the old me could use it later before grabbing his phone and taking a mirror selfie.

I cleaned up the room and forced Mike to swallow two more sleeping pills just to make sure that he'll stay unconscious until the morning before I put him in the back of my new car.

I waited until my workshift was over before driving to my old home where I heaved Mike into my old bed. After that I drove to my new home to write a resignation for this hospital and applications for others. I dont want to loose this body as I'll have a lot of fun with it.

_____________________________________________

Mike's pov

This is me but I never took this picture. Well, it was me.

I always wanted to help people so I became a doctor. I always ate healthy and did sports to maintain fit.

That picture was on the phone I found after waking up in Jimmy's body. It was a horrible experience. Waking up, seeing an unknown ceiling, feeling an unknown bed and then seeing Jimmy's fat body in the mirror.

I met Jimmy at the hospital I worked at. The first couple of times I saw him, he was a bit creepy. I often caught him staring at me and then he acted as if he never looked at me. After some days seeing him in the hospital I walked towards him. He looked nervous but we had a great chat as we had the same interests. Now after searching through his phone I know that he followed me daily. He didnt have the same interests as me, he just wanted to get closer to me.

My naiv self back then didnt noticed that so we hang out. He may have been creepy at first and not the best looking guy but he had a good heart. At least he made it look like that.

The evening I lost my real body he came to me at work. I had a night shift and he brought muffins with him. He must've known that I couldn't resist muffins. I ate some and then everything went dark. The next morning I woke up as him. I tried to find him at the hospital I worked at to force him to change us back but he resigned that same day.

Now I have to live in this bidy for the rest of my life. I already started to eat healthy and do more sports as if I dont do that I'll die soon.

#body switch #male body switch #body swap #male body swap #male possession #possessed #possession #hunk to chunk #fat to fit #fat to hunk #hot hunk

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teamred · 5 years ago

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beautiful stranger

summary: you sneakily take photos of a cute boy on the train to send to your friend. when the cute boy sits down next to you, you realize you weren’t as sneaky as you thought you were. pairing: peter parker x reader warnings: fluff, mild language word count: 1.7k words

prompt: “I was trying to take a sneaky picture of you because i told my friend about the hot guy on the train and she wanted to see but you totally noticed and yeah this is awkward” au from here

gif created by me, please credit if using

is it illegal to be this cute????

You texted your friend on the way home from school, hiding your face in your phone while sitting on the subway. Only a few steps away from you, a beautiful boy in a blue sweater grasped onto the pole as he listened to music. He stepped onto the train a few stops ago and now, you couldn’t stop staring.

istg im sweating n dying from the close proximity of his presence

hes not even that close

is htis normal?????

Slowly peeking up, you stole another glance at the boy. His attention drifted to his phone while your eyes danced over his sharp jawline and strong features, which contradicted against his overall sweet face.

Saying he was beautiful was an understatement. You were so drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.

Suddenly, he began to smile and laugh from whatever he was doing on his phone. Your heart burst then and there, causing you to hold your phone close to your chest in hopes it would contain the invisible chaos. Your friend texted you back:

-!!! send me a pic!!! let me see!!!

fine okay gimme a sec

Lifting your phone up a bit, you angled it enough to get a decent shot of the boy, but not too high to make it obvious. You attempted to take the picture as if you were taking a selfie. Although a bit difficult since the train rattled casually, you successfully took the photo and even had extra shots to send to your friend.

-okay he pretty cute

-u should say smth!!!

?? what would i say “hi i think ur cute lets go out sometime”??

-yea??? thats how meeting ppl works??

As you texted your friend back, the person sitting beside you stood up, ready to leave the train. Without moving your head, your eyes darted to the empty seat. Then, you glimpsed at the boy, who seemed to be making his way towards you. Your phone practically fell out of your hands when you replied:

omg the seat next to me is empty i think hes going to sitdown

-make ur movE OR ELSE U WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN

-DONT BE A PUSSY!!

You tried your hardest to pretend you were preoccupied with your phone, but all you could do was wait for the handsome stranger to sit down. Without looking up, you heard the boy ask the lady standing in front of you if she would like to have the seat, but she politely declined. The pounding in your ears was too difficult to ignore, but you still tried your best to drown it out. It felt like forever before he sat down next to you.

You weren’t even sure which app you were scrolling on at this point and you really couldn’t care less either. All you could think about was your friend’s text.

Make your move. Make your move. Make your move or else-

“Hi.”

You froze, unsure if you heard a voice. You glanced around before your sight landed on the attractive figure next to you. The spotlight was all on you, with his earphones off and a smile plastered across his face as wide as a football field. Was he actually talking to you?

“Hi.”

Your eyes fluttered as fast as your heart in an attempt to look into his sparkling, brown eyes.

He leaned a little closer to you. If you weren’t sweating already, you definitely were sweating now. Did you remember to wear antiperspirant today? You clenched your hands in a fist, with your phone still in hand, fighting against the urge to check.

“Can I ask you something?” he whispered. Of course he had a sweet voice to match his face. You nodded.

“Do I have something on my face?”

Tilting your head in confusion, you shook your head in response. “No, I don’t see anything.”

The boy sighed a relief, relaxing into his seat a bit. “Phew, that’s good. Just wanted to make sure I look good for my picture.”

“Hm?”

The mysterious boy gestured towards your phone. He came in closer to whisper again—

“Rule #1 of the Selfie Rulebook: you should always try different angles to get the lighting right. You kinda just stuck your phone out in one direction and that was it.”

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He knew.

“Well, what if I’m confident in my selfie angling? Maybe this is my best side.” You held your phone out, mocking yourself from moments earlier. You were already caught, may as well die with the lie as long as you can.

He chuckled.

It really was illegal to be this cute.

“Then I can’t really argue with you. Please take my most humble apologies, oh, Selfie Master.” The boy placed a hand on his chest, dipping his head as if bowing.

Almost instantaneously, defeat took over your body. You placed your palms against your face, covering yourself in shame. Maybe if you held still long enough, the embarrassment would fade and the cute boy would forget what happened.

“Was I that obvious?” you groaned behind your palms.

“Only to me.”

You peeked through the slit of your fingers to find him still smiling at you.

“Why’d you take photos of me? Art project on collecting photographs of beautiful things? I had to do that once.”

You wondered what (or who) he took photographs of for his art project. If this conversation didn’t end in flames, maybe you could ask him. Your hands drooped down, resting upon your thighs.

“To be honest,” you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, ready to confess. “My friend was curious about this cute guy I noticed on the subway. I needed proof to validate my taste in men.”

After a moment to exhale, with your eyes still closed, you heard him reply:

“Well, let me say that your taste in men is impeccable.”

Opening your eyes, despite the warmth that radiated from your cheeks, you smiled shyly. Taking a chance, you introduced yourself and held your hand out.

“I’m Peter,” he took your hand in his and shook it. Both of you lingered on the shake longer than expected, causing you two to giggle.

“Which school do you go to?” you asked.

“Midtown Tech. You?”

“Same!”

“Really?” Peter wrinkled his eyebrows. “I haven’t seen you around before.”

“Just transferred,” you shrugged in response.

“Well, if you ever need help with anything, I’m always happy to help. Well, not anything, but, I mean,” he scrunched his nose while rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m always here. To help. With things. Most things.”

Laughter filled the air between you two. You opened your mouth, but stopped in your tracks when you noticed your stop was coming up soon. Just because you two went to the same school, it didn’t mean that you would ever bump into each other, especially in the sea of a few thousand other kids. It was now or never to make your move.

“I’d love to stay and chat, but my stop’s coming up soon. I don’t normally do this, but do you want to exchange numbers and maybe meet up for coffee or something?” The words spilled so quickly from you, you weren't sure if Peter caught everything. He stared blankly at you for a moment and you almost repeated yourself when he said—

“Definitely.”

In a hurry, you practically dropped your phone into his hand. His fingers breezed over your phone as he typed in his info before handing it back to you. You were about to text him to ensure it was the correct number, but you saw that he already did so. The name Peter Parker was at the top of the conversation and a “Hi!” stared back at you.

“Got your text,” Peter held up his phone as confirmation. Unwillingly, you stood up, beaming down at him, and adjusted your backpack over your shoulder.

“Where do you have to get off?”

“Actually,” Startling you, he stood up too. “My stop passed already.”

With your mouth agape, you shook your head. “Wait, what? Why didn’t you-”

“I wanted to find out the name of the pretty girl who was taking my picture,” He mirrored you, adjusting the strap of his backpack over his shoulder as well. “but I’m glad I got more than I bargained for.”

Your mind couldn’t compute what Peter was saying; all you could do was blink incoherently. The train slowed down as you walked towards the doors with Peter trailing behind you. Both of you stepped off towards an empty side of the station near a rusty pillar.

“Well, I have to get to the other side,” Peter gestured towards the platform across from you. Still in awe, you smacked your lips together and nodded. “It was really nice meeting you. Hopefully, we can see each other soon. Get home safe.”

His cheeks puffed from his emerging soft smile. You died a little on the inside.

“You too, Peter. I’ll see you around.”

You rushed away down the stairs, bolting away from what felt like a dream. At the edge of the entrance of the station, you paused abruptly to check your phone.

-??? WHAT HAPPENED TELL Me

-dont leave me hanging like this!!!

According to the timestamps of the texts between you and your friend, the whole interaction with Peter lasted a mere ten minutes. You chuckled in disbelief as you answered your friend:

i have the number for one (1) peter parker!!

he goes to midtown too!!!

and he thinks i’m Pretty

-!!!!!!!!

-im so proud of u!!!!!!

In the middle of replying, you had a notification of a text from none other than Peter.

*Hi! Long time no talk.

*I don’t want to come off as impatient or weird, but is it too early to text you? Should I wait?

*(If so, we can pretend these texts never happened in the first place…)

He wasn’t even there anymore, but your cheeks tingled once again. With a grin, you said:

(((you can text me only if we pretend i didnt take pictures of you on the train)))

You placed your phone back into your pocket and walked home, still revelling in all the events that just occurred. Coming up to your house, you opened up Peter’s response—

*Deal :)

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #one shot #i feel like this a lil ooc buT I DON'T CARE #YOLooOOoO

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dylshoney · 6 years ago

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when you’re ready

requests: maybe a shawn fic based on “when you’re ready” but you’re not the girl he sung about? and the girl shows up 10 years later and tries to get him back and you guys have been together for like 3 years and it just causes insecurities ?? does this make sense?? (love your work btw❤️)

Hellurrr! I have a request, if you will? TW Anxiety Attack Like if the female!reader has an anxiety attack because she thinks she's not good enough so Shawn helps her and holds her?

a/n: this was my first time trying to write angst (cause im usually an optimistic ass bitch) so if its bad just lie and scroll post ahahaha but i wanted to try and @superiorsoph sent this request in and i couldnt resist. im sorry i didnt follow it exactly, but i hope you like it love.

warnings: language, angst

“Stay still!”

You hear him say for the umpteenth time, but you pretend not to hear him, twirling around in the dress, laughing and shaking your hips.

He makes noises of disgruntlement and soon you hear the shutter of his camera go off, the flash blinding you for a few seconds, but you don’t care. You glide over to the full-length mirror on one side of the store and smile at your reflection. He was right, the dress is gorgeous.

You push down the fabric, loving the smoothness under your fingers and twirl once more. You can see Shawn roll his eyes in the reflection, but you can see the hint of a smile threatening to peak through. He places his camera back in the casing and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down to press his head on your shoulder.

You’re both silent for a moment, just staring at the pair of you in the mirror. You hum, your head falling back into him, “I think we found the one.”

“I told you I’d be useful,” he tuts, pinching your hip. You flinch, turning around to smack his chest, “You only just started being useful. The past hour has been torture.”

He’s laughing, the beautiful crinkles on his face making your heart melt but you love teasing him, so you can’t give in just yet, “Trying on twenty dresses definitely wasn’t necessary.”

“No.” He agrees, smiling down at you with a shit- eating grin. “But we had to test all out options, didn’t we?”

You shake your head, turning back around to see yourself in the reflection, triple-checking that this was the right choice.

“You have to delete those photos, you know?”

“No!” He sounds almost offended. “Those are memories, there’s no way I’m getting rid of that.”

“But I look horrid,” you pout, blinking innocently.

“Don’t give me that face,” he shakes his head, “They’re all blurry anyway.”

You grin victoriously, winking at him, “The music in here is just too good – I couldn’t resist.”

He pauses for a moment, raising his finger to the ceiling, eyebrows raised. You focus on the sound of #Selfie by the Chainsmokers, your ears getting hot as you begin to nod slowly, “It has a nice rhythm?”

He shakes his head, but you’re already dancing again – thankful that there was no one else in the store on an early Wednesday morning.

“If you dance like that tonight, I’m going to pretend I don’t know you.”

You ignore him, taking his large hand into yours and spinning into him, his laughter getting louder as the two of you stumble around together.

The music changes to Troye Sivan’s Dance to This and you squeal a bit, getting overly excited as the two of your start shouting the lyrics at the top of your lungs. You can see the nice sales associate trying to contain her giggles as she pretends not to watch you, but you don’t care.

You’re watching Shawn. Your eyes never leaving him as he throws his head back, laughing as you mess up the lyrics. His hands pull you into him, your chest hitting his as you begin doing some sort of heightened version of a slow dance. His hands are warm against you, sending a current of energy through your body.

You’ve never smiled wider in your life, your heart clenching as he places a kiss on your forehead and you can’t believe that you’re still so in love with him after two years of being together. It’s never stopped being butterflies and sweaty palms with him – you’re body reacting to his touch like it was the first time.

Everyone around you recognized that as well, even the sales associate as she checked out the dress a few minutes later. You two are adorable, how long have you been engaged?

Shawn had squeezed your hand extra hard as the two of you tried to contain your giggles, explaining to her that the ring on your finger was a promise one. But Shawn made sure to add that he was hoping to fulfill that promise soon.

You felt like you were on cloud nine, leaving the store with a flutter of butterflies in your stomach. You knew that Shawn was it for you, never once doubting that he was the person you were going to marry.

You just didn’t expect that maybe; you weren’t it for him too.

Later that night you found yourself at yet another event with Shawn, wearing the pretty red dress and smiling widely as people approached you.

You were happy to find that you could easily recognize and talk to many people, a stark comparison to how you were when you had just started going out with Shawn. You were more confident now, excepting that you belonged next to Shawn, that if you stood up straight and acted like you were meant to be there – people would believe it too.

You were sipping a Shirley temple, bopping your head lightly to the beat of the song radiating through the room, talking to Lina – the daughter of a famous record producer. She was probably your closest friend related to the industry, but she was usually too busy to attend these kind of parties – so you were taking in every second you could get with her.

“Ok look at Marsha,” Lina lifted her chin, motioning to a woman a few meters away from you, “She’s about to go talk to Roger. For the sixth time tonight.”

“No way.” You shook your head, cringing as Marsha started making her way over to the older man again. “He’s said no to her single like a million times already.”

“Have you heard it?”

“No.” You paused, “Wait? Have you?!”

She snorted, “I wish I didn’t.”

“Come one!” You threw your head back, “I would have paid to see your reaction.”

“I can perform some for you, if you’d like?”

You were quick to shake your head, but she was already going.

“If I could fly … I would never leave you dry ….”

“Stop! Please!” You were bent over, holding your stomach as you tried to contain your laughter. She was so off pitch that you were tempted to cover your ears.

“Maybe we could last forever ….”

“I don’t know what sadder,” you heaved, “The song – or the fact that you know it by heart.”

“She made me listen to it six times!”

“That sounds like – ”

“Excuse me.” You turned around at the sound of the voice, feeling a light touch on your shoulder. You were greeted with the sight of a beautiful blonde staring at you with a small smile.

“Hi.” You were quick to return the grin, trying to figure out if you remembered her from somewhere. She looked oddly familiar.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Shawn?”

You smiled, “I can go get him for you. Give me just a second.”

“Thank you so much!”

You found Shawn in the back, talking to someone you recognized to be very important, but his eyes lit up and he was on his feet the second he saw you.

“Hey angel, everything okay?”

“Hey,” you nodded as he wrapped a hand around your waist pulling you to the side, “There’s someone looking for you.”

You took his hand in yours, leading him through the mass of bodies in the space, over to where Lina and the stranger were waiting.

“Hey!” Your tone was light as you called out to her, “Found him!”

She turned around, an expectant look on her face before her eyes finally settled on your boyfriend.

“Kate.” Shawn’s voice was laced with shock, a smile gracing his features as he let go of your hand and shot forward to hug her.

You made eye contact with Julia from behind them, her light ones wide and looking at you with something you could only describe as sheer worry. You tilted your head, trying to understand what she was mouthing to you.

“It’s been so long.” You could hear Shawn say as they pulled apart, his tone laced with something you didn’t recognize.

“It has. You look amazing, Shawn.” Now that was something you did recognize.

You placed a hand on Shawn’s back, his eyes wide as he turned back to look at you, almost as if he’d forgotten you were even there.

“Kate,” his eyes were back on her immediately, “This is y/n, my … girlfriend.”

You hated the hesitation in his voice, but you didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, smiling gently at her, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“So, how do you two know each other?” Julia stepped forward, sipping on her drink as her narrowed eyes trained on Kate.

There was a moment of reluctance, which definitely didn’t help with your unease.

“We go way back.” Shawn finally said, Kate, giggling in response. Your smile faded. So they went way back. That was definitely code for used to date.

You hated the jealously that flooded through you. Your stomach clenching as your boyfriend continued to stare at the girl with an unrecognizable look.

Everyone was silent for a moment, Shawn’s eyes not leaving Kate, something you weren’t too happy about. You were used to being the center of his attention. And you felt selfish the second those thoughts filled your mind.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, the wide grin never leaving his face.

She smiled for a moment until her eyes traveled over to you and the expression faded, “I uh – was hoping we could talk?”

You didn’t like the look she was giving you, and you definitely didn’t like the sound of that. But Shawn was nodding and not even a second later he was turning to you, “I’ll be right back.”

You didn’t respond, he didn’t give you the chance to. He was already walking away, hot on her heels.

“What the actual fuck.”

You didn’t know how to answer. So instead you turned over the bar, immediately ordering four shots, making Lina talk them with you.

You had hoped that the alcohol would ease your nerves, but instead, you found yourself pacing in the bathroom, your head spinning as you tried to explain to Lina what was going on in your mind.

She did her best to try and calm you, easing your mind that it was nothing. Shawn loved you. It didn’t matter that he was slightly tipsy. Alone. And talking to his ex.

You trusted him with everything in you, but you didn’t trust the look in Kate’s eyes. And the look in his.

Shawn came back a half hour later, his eyes bloodshot and begging you to leave with him. You didn’t hesitate to agree, taking his outstretched hand and following him to the car.

You were both silent for a few moments but there was unspoken tension hanging in the air, your hands folded in your lap – trying to figure out how to phrase your words.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” You finally blurted, hating the way his hands tightened on the steering wheel.

Shawn was silent for a few seconds, before he cleared his voice, “Everything’s fine. Kate just wanted to catch up.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue. “How long were you together for?”

You could see him tense again, his shoulders tightening, “We weren’t. Almost though.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t ready, I guess.” His tone was clipped; sounding like he had uttered those words millions of times before. You could feel your breath catch in your throat.

She wasn’t ready.

You replayed those words in your head a million times before you could finally utter something else. “When was the last time you saw her?”

Shawn could sense the uneasiness in your voice, the unfamiliar tremble as you tried to calm your breathing.

His hand was quick to take yours, twisting it out of the clasp in your lap and holding it in his tightly, “Baby –”

“I’m just curious – I know there’s nothing to worry about I just –” your voice was higher than normal, Shawn’s hand tightening around yours.

But he was silent. Staring straight ahead at the stoplights. The bright red glow illuminating his impassive features.

“There is nothing to worry about, right?” You found yourself saying.

“Of course not.”

Your heart was in your stomach, and you suddenly felt like there was no room in the car – no air.

“Shawn,” you whispered, “Did something happen?”

He swallowed again, “No.”

You were both silent for the rest of the ride home, Shawn’s hand holding yours – the only thing stopping you from falling apart.

The second the car parked in your driveway, you let go of him and jumped out, not waiting for him to follow – speed walking to the front door. Your hands were shaking as you tried to stick the key into the lock, your blurry eyes making it hard for you to focus.

“Y/n – ”

You could hear Shawn coming up behind you, but the door burst open just in time – saving you from having to look at him, “I – I have to go to the bathroom.”

You could hear him shout something back but you were already sprinting up the stairs and into your shared room, shutting the door behind you and bolting into the bathroom.

You were shaking, pulling your phone out and googling the one thing on your mind since the second you heard it.

The lyrics to Shawn’s When You’re Ready showed up on screen and you tried to calm your breathing, scrolling for a moment before your tears began collecting again and you were sobbing.

You gripped the sink, your breaths choked up as you tried to control your heart rate.

You could feel a tightness expanding through your chest, like a weight that was pulling you down. You were on your knees before you had a chance to blink, your hands wrapped around your dress as you tried to get a grip on yourself.

Moments passed but your breathing wasn’t picking up, you tried to blink away the tears, but they kept flowing as your shallow breaths increased.

You stood; your head spinning at the sudden movement, making you fall back and steady yourself against the sink. A jewelry box slid off at the impact, falling and smashing on the floor.

You flinched back at the noise, your ears registering a muffled yelling from behind your door, but you couldn’t make it out. You didn’t understand any of it, your chest heaved as you fell back onto your knees, sounding like you were chocking on air. Black spots began to cloud your vision, the room starting to spin.

Arms wrapped around you, pulling you back into a hand chest, but your mind was too cloudy to process any of it.

“Breathe – ” you could just make out his words, “You’re having a panic attack.”

“I can’t I –”

Shawn spun you into him, on his knees before you, his hands cupping your cheeks as he placed his forehead on yours. You tried to make out the golden color of his eyes but you couldn’t focus on anything but the tightness in your chest.

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” His thumbs were lightly massaging your jaw, “You’re going to inhale for me on the count of three.”

“1.. 2.. inhale.” You obeyed, your chest filling up with air as you shook in his grasp.

“Now exhale,” he said, his voice shaky, “Now again.”

“Inhale…exhale…inhale….exhale.”

It was working, your mind slowly clearing as you focused on the sound of his voice.

You sighed easily for the first time in a while, your eyes finally opening and meeting his tear-streaked ones.

You pulled away from him immediately, falling back onto your butt as you crawled further away, the cold tile the least of your concerns.

“You – you.” You heaved, trying to catch your breath, “You wrote it about her.”

He tilted his head, looking like a devastated, confused puppy, “Angel I don’t know –”

“When you’re ready! You wrote it about her, didn’t you?”

Shawn blinked, a single tear falling from his eye as he crawled over to you. You flinched, scooting away until your back hit the wall.

“Y/n I –”

“The song was written four months into our relationship.” You sniffled, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your dress, not caring about how much money you had spent this morning. Now, that seemed like a lifetime ago.

“You had said that Teddy wrote most of it. That it was a spur of the moment thing. That none of your songs were based on anyone until you met me.”

He was silent, tears streaking down his cheeks as he tried to catch his breath, “Baby –”

“You were waiting for her. This entire time. Weren’t you?”

“No!” He tried to get closer, but stopped at the expression on your face, “No! I love you, I –”

“Cause ain't n –nobody like you. F- familiar disappointment every single time I do.” You began to recite, your hiccupping sobs making it hard to understand.

“Y/n. Baby, please let me explain – ”

“Every single night my arms are not around you. My mind's still wrapped around you.” You shut your eyes, your entire body shaking as you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to figure out how this was happening to you.

“Baby, tell me when you're ready.” You opened at the sound of a choked sob coming from the other side of the room. Shawn was on the floor, his head between his hands as he sobbed, shoulders shaking.

You were silent, trying to stop yourself from rushing over to him and holding him in your arms – something you had grown so accustomed to that now you felt like you were having an out of body experience.

“Do you still love her?”

That wasn’t what you had planned to say, but you needed to hear it. You needed to know if the last two years were a waste, if the ring on your finger had ever meant something to the boy you thought was going to be yours forever.

Shawn was silent, his shoulders slumping as he threw his head back.

“Shawn?” Your voice was sterner than it had been all day.

“I – ” Another wrecked sob flew through him.

You covered your mouth as you felt your chest close up again. Shaking your head, you took a deep breath – you were not about to have another panic attack right now.

You gripped the vanity to your left, using it to pull yourself to your feet. Your mind went hazy from how fast you rose, your head already pounding from how hard you’d been crying.

“She told you she was ready, didn’t she?”

All Shawn could do was nod, his eyes not opening as he placed his head back in his hands – his elbows on his knees as he started crying again.

You threw your head back, urging yourself not to cry – but nothing could stop the whimper from flying out of you, your eyes shutting again.

Everything was silent again. For a few moments, you hoped that he would say something. That he would get to his feet and explain that everything was a misunderstanding – that he would take you in his arms and hold you, telling you that you were the one he loved. The only one he loved.

However, things weren’t that simple. They never were with Shawn. But never before had you doubted where you stood with him.

“I – I can’t do this.” You found yourself saying, his head snapping up – bloodshot eyes meeting yours.

He was on his feet before you could blink, “No. Y/n – let’s talk about this, please.”

You hesitated, before shaking your head. It was too late for talking now. You had waited for him to act and he had left you dry.

“You need to figure yourself out before we can do that Shawn.” You spun the ring on your finger. “I can’t be with you if you’re not a hundred percent sure about me.”

“I love you.” His voice cracked, a single tear traveling down his sculpted cheek again.

“I love you too.” You sniffled, taking the ring off your finger – Shawn immediately flinching back, “Please. Please don’t leave me.”

“You lied to me. You used me as a placeholder for her. You still love –”

“I don’t. I don’t.” He was shaking, his hands coming up to fold behind his head, “It was a spur of the moment, baby – ”

“I know you, Shawn.” You were tired, and he was delirious. You couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, and you were afraid that if you kept this up any longer – he could convince you to stay.

“Call me when you figure everything out. And then we can talk.”

You placed the ring on the counter, the clang of it hitting the marble making Shawn flinch again, but you didn’t let yourself get phased.

You took one long look at him, before turning around and walking out of the bathroom – and ultimately the house.

He didn’t call after you once.

__________________________________________________________________

permanent taglist: @tw-stydiaaf @egg-in-a-spork @alone-in-madness @yourwonderbelle @musiclover1263 @spideyshcllands@savingmartinski @unconditionalcalum @carolinabiondi @polishcrazyone @mendesmusical @prettymuchnew @melli-studies @sharkboy-mara @itrocksmysocks @alinashawn @jerseygrayson @royalexperiment256 @aboutthefantasyinmyhead

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pappycat89 · 4 years ago

Text

Just a weird dream that i had last night about gender stuff. Its long, so its under a cut.

I had a dream last night where i was at a party, and ran into some people filming a tiktok where this masculine presenting person did this hair flip that hid a transition to them wearing a wig and feminine makeup and they looked stunning, so i asked them about it and they put me in a wig and makeup and i looked in the mirror and it was amazing. Like, it wasnt my face i saw, but a fully like, female structured face, but i knew it was me and i was so happy. I loved how i looked and couldnt believe it, so i went looking for the perfect mirror to take a selfie in, which meant going inside.

the house i went into wasnt mine on the outside, but the inside was, and it was stupidly big. Like, a huge mansion but also non-Euclidean so the halls and stuff didnt make sense. Anyway, my family kept showing up and interrupting me and asking what i was doing and when they saw the makeup they got all weird and were like "well, if thats something you want to do i guess thats ok, but like, men look silly in makeup so maybe dont do that?" So i left and went to my dads house instead,

When i got there i ran into him and my stepmum. My stepmum didn't seem no notice or care, she was just like "hi, good to see you" gave me a hug and went about her day. My dad seemed pretty supportive and was happy to see me but kept asking me a lot of weird questions that i had to explain. They weren't bad or rude or anything, i just didnt have the energy to answer them and it made me feel like i had to justify why i was doing it and i felt weird.

So i left and decided i didnt need a mirror, so i went to the local park where they had this weird old cave/cliff system on the edge of a lake, so i went to take some artsy photos and stuff, and also be near water because i love water, and i ran into my housemate who had set up this weird camp in a semi-hidden cave. He didn't notice me at first so i tried to senak out as to not disturb him, but i couldnt climb out the way i came because suddenly i was wearing heels. He heard me try and came over to help me out, without any weird comments about my wig or makeup or anything, just that he would be camping there for a few days and to leave some dinner in the fridge for him.

So i wandered away from the cave, towards some shops. At this point i was feeling kinda hopeless, like there was no point in wearing the wig or makeup, or being a girl, because no one accepted it or cared about it and i just wanted to feel happy but every time i tried i got interrupted. As i got to the shops i found this kind of new age store with all these tie-dyed clothes and crystals and stuff. I entered, and instantly started feeling out of place, like everyone would know i was just wearing a wig and not really a girl, so i tried to just stick to myself.

Then, one of the people working there came up to me and she complemented me on my makeup, and gave me some suggestions for other colours they had that would look good, and we started talking about crystals and what ones i was wearing and others they had that would work well, and then an older lady came up and started talking to me about the clothes they had and helped me pick out some outfits. When i went to try some on i found that my body had changed as long as i wore the wig, so suddenly all these clothes fit me and i could wear different cuts, and i was so stupidly happy that i started to cry, so they sat me down and we had some tea and talked and they invited me to a witchy crafting convention on the weekend, and one of the ladies there convinced me to buy some tickets for a lottery they had for a store gift card, so i did cos i had some coins to spare, and she made this big deal about putting my numbers into a bingo ball cage thing and drawing "random" numbers but one of the other workers told me she had rigged the machine and was giving the gift cards to whoever she wanted and just before she could draw my numbers my alarm went off and i woke up.

I've always felt like dreams have meaning to a lot of the content in them. Especially the dreams you remember when you wake up. Its not hard to see what this one means, lol I'm still not ready to try presenting as female, and im not sure i ever will be, but it was a pleasant dream none the less

#personal #just a dream i had #nothing serious

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bisexualthors · 5 years ago

Note

All of the odd numbers for the ask meme?

1. First things first, did you have agood year?: it was an okay year i guess, bad things happened, good things happened

3. Doyou feel your age?: my back says im 80

5. Post your favorite selfie: i rather not haha im not having a good body positivity day rn

7.Which fashion trends did you love?: chunky shoes, even tho im too broke to afford a pair lmao

9.What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?: my good ol’ red flannel

11.What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?: shawn mendes by shawn mendes lol the deluxe edition came out this year so it counts

13.Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?: daniel d(b)ae kim, daddy david harbour, goddess maya hawke, travis van winkle lol hes super hot ok

15.Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?: uhhhh the hopper fandom lol obviously also the fat thor fandom, which is disappointingly small? or so i feel? where are my fat thor stans at

17. Did you make any big permanent changes this year?: mmm not really lol i mean i tried to go to the gym, which i did like march-june but then i changed work places and i couldnt go anymore so i ended up cancelling my membership

19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself?: i got a tattoo! its a small thunderbolt for my og boi thor lmao i love it. i may fill it up all black with white sparkles and then get a mirror image on my other wrist but just the silhouette

21. Did you vote?: uhh my country didnt have elections in 2019, but we have one coming up and i sure will

23. Did you get a job?: yea! actually the biggest change i think? i got a semi-permanent-semi-freelance job

25. Do you regret not doing anything?: saving money lol

27. Have you done anything that scared you?: i applied to grad school lmao

29. Did you lose anyone close to you?: no

31. Did you fall out of love?: no

33. Did you go through a break up?: no

35. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?: some friends

37. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?: yea, definitely

39. What was the worst?: not starting grad school this fall, but hey i got a job so thats nice

41. Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?: warning!!! body image talk next up so skip this one if u dont want to read it!! --------------- i started liking more my body regardless of the constant reminder that im fat or whatever, i dont think i can pinpoint an exact thing that happened, but it def happened this year

43. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?: i can be consistent on something if i really put my mind into it

45. Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?: uhhhh yea lmao so. many.

47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?: get healthier! eat more plants and less meat, do my stretches/yoga routine more consistently and incorporate a short workout after, drink more water, walk more, read more

49. What do you wish for others for the coming year?: corny as it sounds lol happiness and health, ive come to learn that those two are some of the most important things u can have and ive been lucky enough to have them lately and i hope everyone can be happy and healthy!

ur a real trooper if u read all the way lol ily

ask me stuff!!!

#asks #me #Anonymous

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batsysims · 6 years ago

Photo

didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference

anyways

i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry

get to know me tag

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

3. BIRTHDAY? september 15

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? what?? are books

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? its not really,, a sport,, but i bike

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e

75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet

#get to know me tag #now that ive posed this i wanna get back in2 making pose packs sigh

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buzzfeedwheeze · 7 years ago

Text

The New Teacher - Shyan AU

CHAPTER 2

Shane watched as Andrew made his way through his second bowl of cereal with milk. Only kids like that, my ass! He was beaming. It just felt so right to sit by his son’s side and enjoy a nice breakfast before leaving for work. Unfortunately, the familiarity of it brought back memories that he wish would’ve stayed buried on the depths of his mind.

He and Sara used to make pancakes of the new characters of Disney that they had been working on at the studio and Andrew would happily munch at them after pointing out mistakes in anatomy or color. The first time he did it, they were so surprised that they thought they had hurt his feelings and perhaps shut down their child, but the next time they tried to subtly make him comment it worked out fine. It should’ve been expected, after all, he was their kid and art was always a big part of their lives so it obviously would attract little Andrew. Shane remembered when they had just adopted Andrew, they were trying to figure out how to make the small 8 year-old interact with them so Sara suggested painting palm trees’ leaves on the living room wall and Andrew sat on the floor and started to make small coconuts. Even though it was sort of painful to revisit the memories, he would always have a fond smile as the mental image of a smaller Andrew with his brows furrowed as he mixed the colors to get the perfect green popped in his mind.

He sighed.

There was no use trying to hold back those memories. Watching Andrew eating his cereal while simultaneously trying to tweet just reminded him other mornings. After Andrew’s second day in high school, he wouldn’t shut up during breakfast about the art class and how the other students loved his style and of course, it was when he met the transfer student from Malaysia, Steven Lim, who even asked to keep one of his drawings.

“Dad, are you in there?” Andrew was waving a hand in front of him. “Earth to dad!”

Shane gave him a tiny nod and went back to staring at his now cold pancakes and coffee. Andrew’s voice was weak when he asked. “Are you thinking about mom again? It’s just that you have that look…”

This time Shane actually made an effort and fought back the urge to hide his emotions from the world. “I… No. Not really. Not now.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t thinking about her per se and I’m definitely not in love with her anymore, kiddo. I know you might think that I am..”

“It’s not that dad…” Shane made a gesture to stop him.

“It’s just hard to sort of filter my memories. Most of my happy memories with or without you are full of your mom’s presence and it’s tough to get over the fact that I was the happiest when we were together, probably the happiest I’ll ever be. I don’t think I can find someone that will make me feel like that again.” Andrew was looking at him with a concerned expression. “No! It’s not that I am unhappy. I mean, I have you! Andrew, you are the one thing in life that matters, the one thing that makes me wake up in the morning and actually thank god that I’m alive. For you being the way that you are, I’ll forever be grateful. I still can’t believe you chose us, that you chose me.”

“Dad, cut the sentimental crap!” he shouted, but he was visibly taken aback by his dad’s declaration. “You’ll find someone better for you, someone that deserves you. You and mom were okay, but okay doesn’t mean right, you get it?”

“So…” Shane didn’t want to discuss this any further, so he did what he was good at. He changed the focus of the conversation and with a teasing smile playing on his lips he continued. “Are you and Steven right, right?”

“Ugh, you are insufferable!” he snapped as he got up and stormed off to his room, leaving a very amused Shane and his very dirty bowl to be cleaned. As Shane washed the bowl he allowed himself to wonder if maybe his son was right. What if there is someone waiting for me? Nah, that’s bullshit.

XxXxXxXxX

“Have a great day, kiddo!” Shane handed Andrew his backpack and leaned on the side of the car. “Remember to give that Bergara dude hell.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and managed to give his dad a nod before turning around and going in the direction of Steven, who waved at Shane with as much energy as puppy. He watched them holding hands and disappearing inside the school building. It was the perfect image to have in his mind before jumping inside his car and going back to his eight hour shift at the Disney Studio where he would be trying keep sanity as he worked on a new animation project. But life had other plans. As he was about to turn away he noticed a cool Jeep pulling over at the teacher’s parking lot. Shane gritted his teeth as he saw the small guy hopping off the car.

Begara noticed him and as he walked in the direction of the school staring at Shane the whole time in what was supposed to be a menacing way. The staring match didn’t last much since when Ryan was about to climb the stairs to the building he tripped on his own foot and fell. Shane’s laughed was the only thing heard on the area. The other man quickly got up and stuck his middle finger to Shane which would’ve been offensive if he wasn’t blushing like a small kid. Shane chuckled again when he heard the main door of school being slammed.

“What a lovely day.” he said between giggles.

When Shane arrived at the studio there was, indeed, a pile of things to be done, but he was on such a big mood that he actually started to whistle some Disney songs. He turned his computer on and started to work on the animation, trying to make everything in sync and all the transitions smooth to facilitate the job of the Keith, the dude responsible for checking his progress and corrected small details.

The morning passed really fast. So fast Shane didn’t notice it was time to have his lunch break and got startled when Eugene touched his shoulder.

“Jesus, Madej. It’s break time. Stop working.”

Shane got up from his chair and stretched his body, lazily. He pocketed his phone and wallet and was about to leave when he decided to go back and take his sketchbook too. Today he was feeling creative. He decided to go to the Subway near the studio where he wouldn’t have to socialize with his co-workers and where people wouldn’t be asking questions about his doodles.

The place was almost empty, there was only a family of tourists with their ridiculously big Mickey Mouse Ears hats and faces full of sunscreen. Shane ordered a sandwich and chose a more reserved booth. He settled the sketchbook on the table and picked his favorite pencil, which was really small and was completely dented from falls and nervous teeth biting into it.

He gave a tentative bite on the sandwich and moaned slightly as he tasted the unique artificial flavors that only a fast-food chain restaurant could have. No wonder everyone called him a raccoon, he’d consider almost any food delicious. Or at least edible.

Shane started to sketch and after eating half of the food and finishing the face he realized he had drawn the fucking crazy teacher. Ryan Bergara. He ripped the page off and crunched the paper. Why would he draw that guy? He decided to keep the drawing though. It was fine art. So he got the little ball of paper and placed it on his jacket’s pocket.

There was still some time left before he had to go back to work, so he decided to get a nice ice cream cone. Shane bought one with two flavors ,vanilla and cookie though, of Mr. Tinsley a cool older guy that used to work as a detective or something like that in the 70s. Since it wasn’t a hot day, but the sun wouldn’t help the case of his ice cream, he found a nice bench underneath a tree.

He got his phone out and began to browse through Instagram. Then he stopped at a new photo of Steven. In the photo Steven was wearing a tinfoil hat, which wasn’t something so unusual, but the caption of the picture was the problem.

“What the fuck!” Shane perked up on the bench and gripped the ice cream cone harder. “‘@ryanbergara lended his cool hat to me, best teacher ever :)’”

It was impossible to ignore the urge to click on the username. In fact, Shane didn’t even try to hold back. He was bombarded by a series of photos of a Mr. Bergara at Disney and Universal Studios, puppies, Lakers and mirror selfies. He sucked in a breath. If the dude wasn’t bat shit crazy he would totally be my type. His bisexual senses were tingling so he decided to close the app. Nope.

I wonder if he has a twitter account? Maybe I could fight him. Shane clicked on the blue icon on his screen and typed bergara and there it was a @ryansbergara. Shane had a devilish smile as he analised the profile. The fucking profile picture was a photo of him wearing a tinfoil hat and his header was a screenshot of the X-files opening. Not surprising at all but that made Shane itchy to annoy the guy. That was practically begging to receive some of the old skeptic treatment that his family perfect through the generations.

Shane Madej - @shalexandej 01:39 PM

@ryansbergara hey dude nice hat. going to teach the kids how to do one… oh wait you already did!

He watched as a notification pop-up appeared on his screen only a few minutes later.

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara 01:42 PM

@shalexandej ha ha ha very funny stalker, i didnt teach them that!! i talked about how it is useless and actually applied some scientific concepts [GIF]

Shane Madej - @shalexandej 01:43 PM

@ryansbergara THANK GOD YOU DID THAT but i’ll have you know that i instructed my kid to make your life hell

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara 01:45 PM

@shalexandej oh really? Cause he actually helped in class

Shane Madej - @shalexandej 01:45 PM

@ryansbergara [GIF] NOOOOOO NOT MY KID BERGARA YOU ARE A CULT LEADER

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara 01:46 PM

@shalexandej hahahahahhahahsahs maybe ;)

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara 01:46 PM

@shalexandej i have to go prepare for my next class, see ya stalker [GIF]

Shane was about to reply when he receiver another type of notification. Ryan had just followed him. Well Bergara, this might be your downfall. He clicked on the follow button and he unconsciously knew how big of mistake that decision was.

#fanfic #shyan fanfic #buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed worth it #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #andrew ilnyckyj #mine #my fic

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