#tricksterfairy

[incorrect-gggnk-quotes]

Nezumi-otoko, singing: 🎶 Ooh, you double crossed me, girl you're such a fake! 🎶 What a shame, guess my lover was a snake!

Ittan Momen: Dude's got a bottle of piss!

Kitaro: That's not what that is--

Ittan Momen, suddenly rapping: That's a bottle of piss!

It's right in his hand and he's got on the lid

if the top even slips it could drip down his wrist

I mean who does this kid think he is?

Look at the bubbles, look at the color

Homie's dehydrated, get him some water

Prove that it's juice, drink it

We wanna see, we think it's pee

We don't believe ya, we think it's from your urethra

[katyspersonal]

Hooooo boy...

"I am sorry I did a bad thing but you see where I am coming from right??? I only wanted to be left alone so of course I picked a side. But I didn't really PICK a side, you know? Also I DIDN'T just imply that I think there's something wrong with you just a moment earlier. K sorry hope you can get closure" *blocks me before I can even say my own piece*

The way some people are allergic to normal human emotions and experiences is killing me. Imagine thinking your apology was worth a darn thing when you are not even letting the person to react to it. A, I think you are not even really sorry, and you only "apologised" because you gave up trying to rope my friends by your side, seeing that they are more than happy to interact with me.

Your "evidences" for why I am a bad person are 1) six years old super toxic friendship with Kitty (regretted, healed from, improved on from) 2) Tricksterfairy aka Mello lashing at Kitty for lowkey sabotaging my recovery, which Kitty mistook for me and it was debunked (something Lostmarbles conveniently left out) 3) me being angry at Spade for forging friendship and affection "way too fast, way too much" as you've put it only to block me without telling why 4) my friend being angry at N who ditched me over narrative of a hostile person, before having even half of the context 5) me telling Lostmarbles she was a bitch for publicly shaming and hating Mico and that I hated such behaviour.

And.... Of course, 6) me snapping at you when you seemingly defended a person that harassed me and one of the "lovely people" as you called them for a long while.

Six years span.

With so much context, so much nuance, so much explanation for how and why it doesn't make me a "bad person", but only makes me a person that will get hurt when they ARE getting hurt, and will own up to honest misdeeds.

Yet you are so unspeakably allergic to emotions it is absurd, further proven by you not even letting me say my piece. Do you Americans simply never have people who are hot-headed and can say things they regret later? You never have hot-tempered moms? You never have that anger management issues guy that can be too rude but only in words? You never have simply hurt and vulnerable people? There doesn't have to be complex, elaborate backstory of a trauma for a person to justify why they can be angry or rude sometimes - it happens with plenty of neurotypical people, ffs! So, you think all of them are a problem and a "danger"? So, you think all of them deserve to be thrown to ableists that advocate for starving them off of human interaction, do not believe in forgiveness, change and repentment, and were not taught what 'nuance' was in their woke American colleges? So, you think people like me can simply shrug it off, when I have nowhere to go but a fandom, when I can NOT connect with irl normies whose only interests are to pay children and birth taxes, when I cannot even make an eye contact?

No fucking way. You are just allergic to emotions, to normal human flaws, and never knew a person in your life that could have made a mistake or been at the bad place mentally. Yes, I do notice this particularly in Americans. Other cultures and nations that I communicate with are very accepting of emotions, conflict, troubles, flaws, and even [gasp] the fact that some people are JUST incompatible. Your ableist idol Lostmarbles thinks that me not getting along (for the lack of better term) with some people automatically meant that me getting along with other people was nothing. One without a single person to have a conflict with may cast the- ehhhh, whatever, whatever.

______________________

Believe it or not, but just a night ago, I had a dream that someone ratted out my vent post about you to you, and you resorted to unblocking me and speaking up. Not the first time I have had a prophetic dream... But even in my dream, you allowed me to speak BACK. So I am just left with screaming into emptiness.

In the end, I do believe that you are sorry. ....sorry for the likeable mutuals you have lost as they thought you were in the wrong. Don't get me wrong, facing the consequences of your actions is the most primitive, yet the most human form to learn a darn thing. I know it well myself. People always shoot for some transcendental, selfless ideas, but in the end... no. It is being punched in your face with the consequences how you truly learn. It is not "selfish", it is human. So yeah, on my own end, I hope that the sour experience you carried will be a pointer for you on how to act better.

But people not having their best behaviour when being harassed and mistreated and dehumanised is a normal thing. And them resorting to old bad habits when mistreated so is not "evidence they've never changed", either. 'Change' is climbing the rock that may betray you any moment by becoming perfectly smooth and bending by 90° - there is always a risk of being in a situation where you can do nothing but wish to be good.

[mang0steenie]

This is my new writing blog...I suppose.

Over from @tricksterfairy