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there-will-be-a-way · 1 year ago

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After the day clinic I'll go to a rehab clinic that specializes in trauma and addiction (most places only treat these two separately). I'll stay there for 3 to 4 months. Rip to me am I really that sick?

The social worker in my ward and I wrote down my addiction time line for my insurance company today which made me realize how fucked up I really am. Midway through I asked her to stop for the day and do the rest tomorrow because it was so confronting. (Yes, I listened to my boundaries for once.) I really have been in this cycle ever since I was 13 without realizing it.

After that I went to the city with some of the people from my ward and that was really nice. I feel accepted there, and I love how diverse our group is.

This evening is easier than yesterday. Less urges, less cravings. But somehow I'm shaking. Man, all of this is a lot but I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

#personal posts #psych ward blogging #treated myself to some tools for a new hobby (pokerwork)#because today marks two weeks of me being sober and a new hobby is always a great distraction #S. (my (hopefully) future room mate) called me this evening and it's nice to know people who want to hear your honest answer when they ask #you how you are #rn somehow I'm shaking pretty badly and I don't know why #so much to process I guess #it's wild going to the stores without buying alc #tw addiction #addiction tag #I keep thinking of my self from two years ago and how lonely I was #now I have more people around me who value me and who I value than I could have ever imagined #there are people out there who see me and appreciate me for who I am #people who I don't have to put up an performance for when I'm around them #wild #and while we were in the city I met another acquaintance of mine #50% of the time when I'm walking around this city I meet someone I know #Man I have a great social life I really do #and the excitement of this one acquaintance whenever he sees me #he says 'hello' like ten times in a row lol #I know I'm being cheesy again but connection really saves you huh

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