#traveling travel homesick iminaglasscaseofemotion pleasehelp alone

[richteamorrison-blog]

Start of Big Berry

Okay. I haven’t done a blog for ages and i dont know if i’ll do another one but my head is racing at the minute and i just need to write. I managed to get myself an internship at Big Berry. Its a glamping spot in Slovenia which is all about local food and services and shit. Now, i was over the moon when i got this internship. 6 months in a new country, doing film and photography, and in a cool environment. Everyone was happy for me as well!

I left on the 19th April and today is 20th April and this place is letting me down. I was to assume that i would get my own room or at least, share with one other person. Nope. All the interns are in one room. Together. There is like 14 interns! What the fuck. 1 bathroom as well to share. Also, 6 months in one room with 14 people. Where is my privacy? Where is it? Hellllllo? Nope.

As of writing, there are some Slovenian men putting up bunk beds in, what i imagine, was a living room of someones house. Also, we’re in a 3 story fucking house! What the fuck is upstairs? Let me sleep upstairs in my own fucking room.

Anyway, eating and preparing meals is gonna be a chore aswell. Right now, another intern is writing up a rota about who is cooking and when. As in, which singular person is cooking for these 14 people. My title is “Film and Photography editor”, not fucking “chef”. Another intern and I tried to speak to her about maybe getting 14 people together and cooking something that they all agree on, considering different tastes, cultures, beliefs, would be nigh-impossible. We tried to say that if people just made their own food it would be better. She, rightly, stated that it would be difficult in the kitchen for everyone to try and cook at the same time but considering the alternative.

But worse than any of this. Worse that i ever would’ve thought. The feeling of missing someone. Its only been two days since i’ve been with everyone i love but i know for the next, possibly, 6 months i wont see them or speak to them is a killer. I miss the calmness that i felt. I miss the constant easy conversations. I miss not feeling like the world is on my shoulders. I miss it all. More than i ever thought i would.

I dont know if this is due to the first day and a half being a sledgehammer to what i expected or if this is it. This is how im going to feel for the forseeable future. I feel like i would leave now, but then the person i love has decided to go traveling by herself because im here, so i’d be alone if i came back. Then she goes to teach english abroad for a month then she goes to work in the Czech republic for a year. Does she feel like this when she goes away? Is this normal to feel? Probably not. The disappointment in what is here and what i expected plus my homesickness must be adding together for a big fucking emotional ball of shit.

And the Wifi is wank.