#trash photoshopping job on my part

[cheri-sources]

Helpful RP TIPS ✨feat. beta editor

subject : how to make custom text colours && formatting.

using beta editor is a learning curve for those of use that are used to legacy ( rip ol' boi ) . you can say goodbye to all that beautiful custom formatting that gave your blog that PIZZAZ. . . . SIKE !! you can still do all that time consuming / wonderful formatting just as easy. there is a small work around but one you should be used to if you are using Roleplay Formatter ( view this tutorial here ) .

⇧ this right here ? garbage. trash. colour choice is not the vibe. do better t/umblr. what even is that red ?? that green ?? CARDINAL SIN.

luckily for you, i'm going to show you an easy way to make your text colours match your blog aesthetic using icons && graphics.�� 

first youre going to want to pull up adobe PhotoShop ( PS for short ) or any other editing service you use for your icons / graphics. the most important part if that it uses the ' EYEDROPPER ' tool function. now assuming your icons / graphics ( i'll be using my icons as an example ), already have the PSD you want attached an active-- use the eyedropper tool on the colours you want to use. i recommend three for variety but you can do as many as you want. 

keep in mind by default most people's blog editors have a white background. so using white text is not recommended. i personally like to use 1 vibrant colour && 2 muted colours because of eye strain. vibrant colours can be overwhelming for some viewers but you are welcome to do whichever colours you like. it is subjective after all.

now that youve selected your colour, consider having a notepad ready ( either digital or ol' fashioned pen & paper ) . at the TOP RIGHT side of the program in PS you'll see your colours, click the top overlayed square. this will open a sub-menu that shows you indepth stats. from there you'll see that EXACT colours HEXCODE. 

go ahead && write down the HEXCODEs including the ' # ' sign. you'll plug in this code here in the Roleplay Formatter. ( the ' A ' symbol at the TOP RIGHT. ) from there another sub menu will open and you'll click ' More Colors '. that is where you will plug in your hexcode. while the editor is open it will save your colours, however when you close they will disappear which is why i recommend writing them down. but you can always just have PS open and copy & paste them from there. its a matter of personal prefenece at this point.

and thats it. Thats the whole thing. take your now formatted and coloured reply, copy the source code and paste it into t/umblr's HTML editor ! play around with bolding, italics, capitalizing, && enlarging / shrinking specific words or phrases to give your reply that speical little OMPH !! you're on your way to being a pro, good job !

[goldyandgoldie]

Absolutely seconding this advice, as well as adding that the situation has gotten much, much worse.

I graduated with a BFA in graphic design in 2022. I got a job right out of college, and I hated it. I was treated like trash by my boss, constantly being threatened with being replaced by AI, and paid just slightly over minimum wage with no benefits. When I lost that job, it took over three months to find a new one. I put in about 400 job applications, and only 4 places responded. 3 out of the 4 were scams, and the fourth ended up being my last job, which I was only able to keep for 5 months. Again, I have been unemployed for over 3 months. Those shitty starter jobs don't really exist anymore. They've been replaced with AI, scammers, and bosses who think they can do the work themselves with a Photoshop tutorial. If you haven't been in the industry long enough to be considered a "senior" graphic designer, or aren't capable of working for peanuts, you're pretty much screwed. "Low level" graphic design jobs are pretty much dead. Don't think you can even go back to retail either; they often will reject people with a degree because they don't want to risk you leaving once you've found a better job.

I will admit that there are parts of the job that I love. I will never forget my client who sobbed while thanking me when she saw the wedding invitation I had made for her, or the woman who jumped up and down while clapping when she saw the business cards I had designed for her nail salon. I am so grateful I could do that for these people, but those experiences are a small fraction of what I have had to make as a graphic designer. More often than not, I'm helping a shady business to scam their customers, and that doesn't feel good at all.

Passion will get you a lot of places, but crushing poverty can absolutely be the death of all passion. Do something you can tolerate and make a living doing, and save your passion for yourself.

I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.

But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck. 

I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.

You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.

You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should.  But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.

I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.

And I love it. 

[purplesurveys]

1629

Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? Maybe not by a bartender but by friends, yeah. Hasn’t happened since college though; I’m super chill with my alcohol these days.

Have you ever borrowed money from your mom and lied about why you needed it? Nah I could never lie about things like that haha, given we weren’t the most well-off of families when I was growing up and for many years the money my parents made was just enough to keep us comfortable. If I didn’t have any allowance left that was on me. Have you ever flirted with a cop to get out of a ticket? Not flirt, but I have cried LOL. Surprisingly always works. In my first few weeks driving I also used my college-student and I-just-got-my-license cards to get out of tickets. A few times I’ve gotten pulled over away from my city and apparently it also works when you just say you’re not from the area and are not familiar with the traffic rules over there.

Have you ever lied during a job interview? No. Again, I am awful at lying. I also don’t wanna potentially overpromise because what if I say I can do Photoshop and they suddenly make me do visuals? Hahahaha.

Have you ever bought alcohol for someone underage? Nah. I also wouldn’t voluntarily get alcohol for someone under 18.

Have you ever started a rumor to ruin someone’s reputation? I’ve never started a rumor at all. People who do that must be so bored...

Have you taken any pics of yourself that you won’t want your parents to see? Yeah huh.

Would you turn a family member in if you see them commit murder? This is one of those situations wherein it’d be really hard to make a decision you’re likely to do, unless you’re already in it. That said, the way I see it now is I’m likely to turn a relative in if I’m not super close with them or if they’re actually a distant relative altogether. I mean...it’s murder.

Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF’s family? I don’t have a partner. Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Not me as I haven’t bumped into any car while the driver was gone, but this happened to my car while in college. I had just finished a class and was headed back to my car when there was a note on the windshield of someone admitting they had hit my car and they were willing to discuss reimbursements and whatnot. Anyway, the damage wasn’t bad (paint just got chipped a bit) so I never reached out to the dude anymore.

Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? I would never do that, not even if I were already late at a BTS concert and was struggling to find a parking spot hahaha.

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? Depends on the animal, the type of road etc. I wouldn’t stop for like, a squirrel or a mouse or a pheasant, but I’d 100% stop for a dog or cat. < Same.

Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? I do my part when I can but it’s not actively because it’s for ‘the future generation.’ I’m a little...emotionless in that regard lol.

What was the first thing you learned how to cook? That wasn’t frozen? Erm...eggs.

What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Frogs and...yeah that’s pretty much it.

Do you think there will ever be world peace? No.

Have you ever turned down a job offer? I had wanted to turn down a promotion before but didn’t really have a choice.

Do you know anyone who believes that vaccines cause autism? Not that necessarily, but my dad’s parents are deep in the disinformation echo chamber and are in the belief that vaccines can kill you, can cause heart attacks, can inevitably give you fatal allergic reactions, etc. They would never have gotten their Covid vaccine shot if not for my dad forcing them to, and they never even got their second shot and boosters. It’s a situation I’ve always felt sorry for and frustrated about.

What does the name say on your birth certificate? Just my full name lol, which I’m not sharing.

In terms of politics, do you sit on the right or the left? Left.

Out of all those blood related, immediate or other, which single person would you list as your favorite? Either my dad or my eldest cousin on my mom’s side.

Who is one you wish you didn't share blood with? I have in-laws I don’t super want to associate with, but I don’t feel this way about any blood relatives.

Generally, what genre of movies do you jump at the opportunity to see? Dramas. Not a genre per se, but classic Hollywood movies too.

Have you ever been able to pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? Yups.

If you had a work office that you would be allowed to decorate any way you want, how would you decorate it? It’d be pet-friendly, have bars for pizza and coffee, and the walls would be littered with art/paintings.

Do you know anyone who is a Native American? Nope.

What was the hardest thing you went through in your childhood? Being led to believe that your family drinking enough to get drunk every night is normal.

Have you ever had a girlfriend? Yeah.

Do you have any close friends that were adopted? I know someone who is but they aren’t a friend.

Does your mom eat meat? Yups, she does.

Was your dad ever on a sports team? Not a sports team but if I remember correctly he was part of his high school’s dance troupe or something like that. My dad is actually crazy talented and smart; he just never talks about the awesome shit he did when he was younger. I didn’t know he knew how to dance and play the guitar until I was a teenager; and I definitely did not know he had planned on taking up engineering rather than hotel and restaurant management until well into my 20s (he didn’t pursue it as he couldn’t afford the school that was known for its engineering courses).

Who has the prettiest middle name you know? I’m not sharing whose it is but I have a friend whose second name is Lorenza, which I’ve always found really pretty.

What’d be your name if you took your mom’s middle name? Her second name? Patricia.

Do you know a lot of things about the opposite sex’s body parts? Uhhhhhh not so much. We had to take it up once in like Grade 5 science but I immediately forgot most of it. I can tell you like 3-4 organs maybe, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you what each would be responsible for hahaha.

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I can’t think of anything I dislike about my name.

What’s your favourite kind of poptart? Chocolate fudge. We only get like 4 flavors imported here and that one’s my favorite. S’mores and cookies and cream are too sweet; and of course I’m never touching the strawberry variant lol.

When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? I already live in the country where I’m from.

Do you enjoy watching birth vlogs? Not really? The only birth vlogs I’ve cared to watch are high-profile people who have released their own lol like Kylie Jenner.

Do you know anyone else with your name? A few. Which country’s flag is your favorite? I don’t have a favorite.

What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? What I’d be afraid of going to any other country, I guess? Like getting scammed, kidnapped, raped, harassed, etc.

Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? I used to do this – I very distinctly remember taking a black-and-white photo of the sky in 2017 during my more s*****al days, and it stayed in my phone for years supposedly with the intent to remind me that things would get better. But all it taught me was it does just that – remind. It took me back and seemed to only taunt me that I was going to regress. So I stopped taking photos of bad experiences and, in contrast, have actually made it a point to not keep souvenirs of bad days whatsoever.

Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? If it was crying in a humorous context then yeah. I posted a photo of myself in tears (but also pulling a funny face) right after watching the music video for Jin’s The Astronaut hahaha. 

Have you ever held a newborn baby? I held one of my cousins when he was like 2 weeks old (I was 9), and very nearly dropped him while nobody was watching because he started squirming and crying. That was the first and last time I ever held a baby. Too scary.

Do you know anyone who has twins? I know several sets of twins, but not anyone around my age who has them.

Are you following in the career path of any family members? Kind of. My maternal great-grandpa and grandpa are writers, and my mom has cousins who’ve worked in media and broadcast and, by extension, in the study of law; I’ve been told the love for writing really runs in my mom’s side. What’s funny to me I guess is how the talent completely skipped over my parents as both my mom and dad ended up in the hospitality industry hahaha.

Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? Quite, yeah. My mom worked graveyard shifts for years, and my dad was already working abroad way before I even had the capacity to remember. I didn’t necessarily feel sad about it when I was a kid because I thought that was normal; but when I started hearing my friends talk about their summer family outings and how they’d have dinners at the mall every Sunday, that’s when it started to feel like my life was lacking.

Who was that best friend you ever had? Angela’s always been my BEST best friend.

Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Gee...not that I know of, at least?

Honestly, if you could have anyone in the world, who would it be? Kimi. I wish I could have had him forever.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell? All the few Taco Bells we do have in the country are too far from where I live, so I never get. But when I happen to be in those handful of areas, I always just get some kind of burrito. Have you ever streaked? Nopes.

How many city/towns have you lived in? Two – Manila, and my current one.

Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Night. So much comfier to sleep then.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? I didn’t, but I did take ballet as a kid. Didn’t fare well though as my parents were immediately advised that I wasn’t cut out for the craft hahaha. I’ve shared this with friends and they always go, “That’s so harsh!” but honestly I feel like it was just right to do so. Ballet has some crazy rigid standards and it was only fair to give my parents the heads-up early on, before they’d start investing more money for what was already a lost cause.

When was the last time you really laughed? Watching Cong’s newest vlog last night.

Honestly, whose numbers do you have memorized? My sister’s and my mom’s. Do you sleep with socks on? No.

Has anyone ever told you, you were beautiful? Yeah.

What kind of house do you want? It’s gonna defeat the whole purpose of the movie but I’m honestly such a big fan of the house in Parasite LOL. Minus the [insert the part of the house that’s instrumental in the plot twist].

Would you like living on the coast? It would be nice as a vacation home; but given that living on the coast largely implies living in the province, I’d much rather stay in the city.

What would you like your generation to change? I wish they had more initiative and gave a bigger shit about their jobs. The other Gen Zers I work with will only ever do what you ask them to do, which can be so frustrating sometimes. 

Are you a sore loser? I can be but I keep it internal and just use the loss as a motivation to win or succeed next time. A 25-year-old lashing out at losing is ridiculous.

Honestly, do you enjoy arguing? Nope.

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? I had one! I had a ~photography phase when I was like 12 and my dad gave me a Nikon DSLR so I can improve at it. Turns out the skill actually belonged to my sister, who ended up using the camera throughout her time in film school many years later.

Are you a picky eater? What’s one food you refuse to eat? I’m not picky about entire foods in general; it’s just that I have very specific ways of enjoying my food, if that makes sense? I’ll rarely entirely refuse to eat a certain food, but, like, I will always remove the pickles from cheeseburgers, will always remove the hotdog bits from my spaghetti, will skip over chicken meat because all I really want is the fried chicken skin hahaha, etc.

Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I don’t have Photoshop on here and I never learned how it works.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in right now? White. Do you use your queen right away in chess? I don’t know how to play chess.

Were you in track and field? For just one year in grade school lol yep.

Were you ever in a school talent show? Nope.

Have you thrown up in a car? Just once. I threw up on my mom’s stomach...while she was pregnant. We were on a different car than what we were usually riding, and my motion sickness that day just wanted to rear its ugly head.

Who was your first grade teacher? Her name was Merce.

Where did you go on your first airplane ride? Boracay when I was 11.

Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? Does a junior bridesmaid count? It was a quirk of my mom’s best friend’s wedding and I was around 7 when it happened.

First tattoo or piercing? First and only piercings were my earlobes when I was a few months old. Don’t have tattoos.

First celebrity crush? Zac Efron.

[marshmallow-phd]

Gravity

Genre: Angst, Unrequited Love

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

A/N: This was basically just a therapy write. 

**

What is worth? It is neither tangible nor seeable. It doesn’t have a body or a shell. Yet, the endless chase to catch it, to hold it captive, is a never ending disease that eats away at the brain and tears apart the heart. It’s only descriptor is feeling. A judgement. Something either is or isn’t. When it's an object in question, the call for worth is passive, innocent. It’s wanted or it's not. The deterioration comes into play when the worth is applied to a person. 

Kim Junmyeon was worth the world. 

With a smile that could chase away a storm and a heart too good and pure for the human populace, he was truly worth more than the world. He was worth more than you deserved. 

Not only was his face kind, but it was handsome. Beautiful, even. Candid photos were museum worthy masterpieces. There was a gentleness, a softness to his eyes and cheeks that contradicted the sharpness of his jaw and the strength of his body. His laugh was infectious and his mind as vast and deep as the ocean. The sum of his whole was worth so much. 

But you were not worthy of such a person. You weren’t as stunning as a sunset over the mountains or as extraordinary as a new discovery. You were simply… you. Staring from afar, admiring but never touching. 

You wished you could be worthy. You wished you could be special enough - good enough to be with him. Pretty enough would be something decent to settle for. But you were invisible. A person on the sidelines. Out of the spotlight. You were an admirer - not one to be admired. 

“You’re doing it again.”

You blinked, your attention torn away from the spot where Junmyeon was standing, laughing and chatting with a few of his seniors. Kyungsoo, who sat to your left at the small table in the entertainment building’s cafe, didn’t even look up from the script he was currently reviewing. He’d only been given it the day before and was still considering if he wanted the part that was being offered to him. 

Your gaze dropped to the opened yet untouched notebook lying in front of you on the somewhat sticky surface. Someone must have spilled their syprup-y coffee and didn’t do the best job at cleaning it up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Without moving his head, Kyungsoo looked at you over the rim of his glasses. Even though you were sure you were nothing more than a blur to his eyes at the moment, he could always see right through you. “If you keep staring at him like that, you’re going to give yourself away.”

The ultimate nightmare. The humiliation of being found out. The sweet but awkward rejection that you knew would follow. With his laugh still ringing in your ears, you forced yourself to tune Junmyeon out. 

Pushing his glasses up his nose with his middle finger, Kyungsoo straightened and closed the script. “We can go somewhere else, if that would help.”

You wanted to argue no. That you weren’t a coward. That you weren’t going to run and hide simply because you looked at him like he was the night sky while you were stuck on the ground. You used to have better control of yourself. You used to be able to hide it better. But lately, it had only gotten worse. 

And you were a coward. 

“Yeah. Maybe one of the practice rooms is empty.”

“There’s usually one.”

After gathering up your things, you followed Kyungsoo out of the cafe, stealing a final glance. Junmyeon didn’t so much as twitch in your direction. It wouldn’t have been surprising if he hadn’t even realized that you were there in the cafe for the past half hour. 

Kyungsoo settled into one corner of the worn navy blue couch while you squeezed into the other. Not speaking a word, he went back to reading the script. That was a nicety of your friendship. Comfortable silence was more than readily available when needed. He didn’t push or give unasked for advice. He was an ear to listen and a presence to take in when you didn’t want to be alone. 

You stared down at the notebook in your lap where your next story ideas were supposed to be filling the pages. But nothing was coming out. Not even the vague pictures you’d had earlier this morning. The only things being called to the paper were the sentences held in the invisible tears you refused to shed. Words of wishes and frustrations swirled around inside the tiny droplets, every letter as heavy as lead. Your cruel mind kept echoing at you the conversation that had constricted the air in your lungs. 

Two days ago, you’d accidentally overheard a drama staff worker jokingly say that Junmyeon and his current co-star seemed awfully close, more than merely friends. Stomach lurching, you ran to the nearest bathroom. Nothing came out but almost fifteen minutes of deliberate breathing had gone by before you emerged again. Kyungsoo was quick to dismiss the comment after barely three words from you. The effect, however, still lingered. 

Despite the history of your intrusive thoughts, you wanted to believe that you could be good enough. That you were worthy of being beside someone like Junmyeon. His co-costar was stunning, even in real life. Someone who didn’t need photoshop to draw out gasps of awe and astonishment. Someone you most certainly couldn’t compete with in any race. 

You weren’t asking for much. Just to be able to hold his hand, your fingers interlaced between his own. The fantasy you allowed yourself to indulge in at times wasn’t a grand gesture or a modern fairytale. You wanted simplicity. The smaller moments that could mean so much. Mundane, to some eyes. 

Warm sun rays leaked through the closed blinds over the living room windows. A clock on the wall ticked away the meaningless minutes. Sometimes soft music hummed in the background, sometimes there was nothing but silence. Junmyeon would lay across the length of the couch with you wrapped around his side. His fingers would absentmindedly caress your shoulder or arm. In his other hand was a book, held open by his thumb and pinky. Your own hand drifted through his hair while he read aloud. 

The two of you had dozens of endless conversations about books. About the ones you loved and the ones you hated. About deeper meanings and the reflections of life. His love of literature - from the celebrated classics to the obscure unknown - had been what initially drew you in. Everything else was what made you stay.

A muscle in your hand cramped. The peaceful scene faded from your eyes. The page was now filled with barely legible, ink-smeared words. You’d written the entire scenario out, along with your heart, without even realizing it. 

In a panic, you ripped the paper from its spiral hold, crumpled it up, and tossed it to the trash can across the room. It missed. 

“I doubt whatever you wrote was that bad,” Kyungsoo murmured. He read the final few lines of the script and closed it. 

“It wasn’t,” you admitted bitterly. “But I shouldn’t have written it.” You described the scene to him while your eyes stayed trained on the loose thread twirling between your fingers. 

He sighed. “You’re never going to tell him, are you?”

“I can’t.”

“You can. You’re just stopping yourself.”

You scoffed. “Why would I deliberately set myself up like that? Break me the rest of the way?”

Kyungsoo stared at you, long and hard, his expression blank to those who couldn’t read the tell-tale signs that his thoughts were in overdrive. “You’re really hurting, aren’t you?”

You sniffed, though no tears were yet forcing their way to the surface. “Most days.”

“Then walk away.”

“I can’t.” Your voice broke - just like your heart. The world blurred when you shook your head. “I can’t… simplify it. But-- It’s like I was this stupid lump of rock drifting aimlessly through space, content with my life. Then suddenly, I came across this brilliant star that shined so brightly and… we collided. And now I’m stuck in his orbit. But he just keeps on spinning while my whole world had changed completely. He’s… my gravity. I don’t know anything else anymore.”

“Maybe it’s time to find your own orbit.”

Afraid it might crack again, your voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t know how.”

The door creaked open and your heart leapt. Junmyeon stuck his head inside. Had he overheard everything?

“There you are! I turned away for a second and suddenly you two weren’t in the cafe anymore.”

He’d… He’d seen you? In the cafe?

“It was too loud,” Kyungsoo lied, covering up for you like he always did. 

“It’s always too loud for you,” Junmyeon teased. Then his face morphed into that leader-esque expression. “We need to head to rehearsal. You’re welcome to join us,” he nodded to you.

“No, that’s okay,” you said quickly in response. “I have a writer’s meeting.” No, you didn’t, but space felt like the right choice at the moment. You tried not to focus on the lack of disappointment coming from the direction of the door. 

“Maybe next time.” Junmyeon slapped the side of the door. “Let’s go, Soo.”

You were actually the first one on your feet, muttering goodbyes to both of them and then walking down the hall perhaps a little too fast. 

You didn’t allow your mind to think the whole way home. Every action was done in automatic mode. Only the minimal amount of awareness was used. But when the apartment door clicked behind you, when the near darkness wrapped you up, when the silence crept in and the empty couch mocked you… you broke. 

Knees buckling from under you, the cold hard floor came closer and you didn’t leave that spot just inside the room as the tears and sobs crashed out in waves. 

This was what you hated the most. The breakdowns that came with no excuse. They were built up by your own mind, by your intrusive thoughts. You tortured yourself with what you could never have. The attacks were random and it was only recently that you had learned to hold them in long enough until you were safe within your own walls. One time, you hadn’t made it. Kyungsoo had been there to pat your shoulder. 

Kyungsoo. He was right. 

That clarity was coming through as the tears dried and your breathing evened out again. You needed space. You needed to separate yourself from what wasn’t good for you and not see him. Not even have the temptation to. 

This was going to hurt like hell. 

**

The office somehow looked smaller with the bare walls. Since the day you moved in, you tried to liven it up, give it character, make it reflect the interests you loved. How were you supposed to write if this place felt like a stifling corporate desert, dry of any creativity?

Not that you ever actually wrote in this twelve by eight space. This place had been reserved for meetings and other usually boring necessities. You didn’t know the next time a budget meeting or an email check would be conducted here. You could be back in a few months and move back in as if you never left. Or someone else could take over. Only time would tell. 

The box that currently had your attention was nearly full. You’d have to come back for the rest. There wasn’t much left, anyway. You took another look around to see if there was anything else you could do at the moment. The monitors were black, the tower underneath - so much smaller than the one you’d had as a kid - was powered off, and the chair that was aligned just so to your favored adjustments was pushed into the gray desk. Saying goodbye to this place really did hurt. 

But you needed to do this. 

And yet, you felt like you were drowning, being dragged deeper into the black water. Your lungs were screaming for relief. 

“You’re really leaving?”

Your shoulders stiffened. At first, you didn’t look up at him. You weren’t sure what to say to him. Being here… it was the last place you expected him to be today. Kyungsoo would have told him, but you wouldn’t have waited around for him to appear. 

“Hi, Junmyeon.” You folded up the top of the box, overlapping the pieces so it would stay shut in transport. 

“I thought you liked it here?”

“I love it,” you confessed. “But I- I need to go home for a little while.”

“Are you homesick?”

“Something like that.” Definitely some version of sick. 

He nodded. “Will you be gone long?” His eyes drifted over the holes in the walls leftover from the frames that used to hang in front of them. 

“I don’t know.” You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. This was…. You should go. Pushing your fingers under the box, you started to lift it to take it home. 

“Do you have to go?”

The question stalled you. Confused, the box went back down on the desk. “Why are you here, Junmyeon?”

He shrugged, though it didn’t shake off the stiffness in his shoulders. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his arms all the way to his wrists covered up by the sleeves of his shirt. Lately he had been rolling them up. You wondered what had changed today. “You’re our friend.”

Friend. 

Friend. Friend. Friend. 

The word rang over and over like a declaration of war. Our friend. 

The smart thing to do would have been to nod, say goodbye, and leave. But - instead - you opened your mouth. 

“I will always be your friend.”

That didn't make him smile like you would have thought. “So, then why do you have to leave?”

You rubbed your eyebrow, fighting within yourself. You lost. 

“Have you ever had a friend so head over heels for someone that won’t even look at them twice? But they don’t care? Because as long as the person they’re looking at is happy, then they’re happy. Even if your friend is completely miserable in the process. Because they no longer care about their own self. They just keep looking at the other person, doing anything that entails that they’re still happy.” You swallowed thickly to try and keep your voice steady. By your sides, your hands were trembling at this roundabout confession. “And you want to shake them. You want to tell them to get out. Because as long as they stick around, they won’t look at one else. No one else exists. Well, this is me. Getting out.”

The frown on Junmyeon’s face deepened as he let your words sink in. “Who is it? Will you tell me?”

No. Because this was enough of an admittance. Because it was time to find your own sense of gravity. 

So, without a word, you picked up the box and left the office. 

Waiting for you when you came back was the scene you had written in the practice room that day, flattened out but still wrinkled as it laid on the desk. 

[crushzone]

Nin! I’ve been seeing this around recently, but I would love to see you ship your moots if it is ok! ♥️

Hahaha hey there, sure thing! It’s so difficult to be bias free because I know my moots’ crushes, but I shall do my best! I’ll mostly likely pair you guys with someone outside of your crush, just to introduce some new potential partner to your life ;). If I had left anyone out by accident, I am SO sorry!!

✨ Shipping my Moots ✨

@scorpiosanssexy

Sugawara Koshi - Lil sis, I am so sorry it is not Kei. I think Suga is absolutely hilarious and a sweetheart, I’m sure he loves it when you roast him here and there because he’d do the same right back at you. He’s also such a sassy man, so if sassiness is something you enjoy (*cough* like Kei’s, except he’s not a meanie 😠), he’s got it! If you do not know how to cook, neither does he, but you will get to suffer together. He’s also a teacher (which I know is also your thing), so let’s pretend he had to read so many books that he has to eventually get glasses! Will 100% dance real silly with you when you’re both tipsy, but please try to calm him down when he keeps getting ID’ed whenever he tries to buy booze, he’s got that forever cute baby face.

Look, I photoshopped him in glasses for u. ☝🏼

@ceo-of-daichi

Takeru Nakashima - Tbh, it was really difficult not to go with Daichi for this one. I know Takeru may not suit your appearance preferences, but I think you guys would be a very adorable pair! He is very family oriented, had grown up with a bunch of siblings, is a team captain (i know u like captains 😉), and seems like a sweet guy in general. So he will 100% be a fun pal to joke around with, but he’s also really responsible and will take care of u on your night outs. I can see you with his little family cheer squad, they are all just in love with you and consider you a part of their family. 10/10 husband material with that A+ domestic lifestyle.

@honey-makki

Saeko Tanaka - I shall pair you, my queen, with my other queen, Saeko. 👑 Together, you are unstoppable, and just the sight of you both hanging out together would make me run away because I tend to do that whenever I am near anyone attractive. Imagine Saeko picking you up on her motorbike just to go grab some dinner downtown together. All the jokes you’d share, how loudly you would laugh with each other, regardless if whether you are in a public or private place!! She’d probably help you proof read your fics and brainstorm any spicy scenarios with you too! Bet she loveees having you lay on her chest as she strokes your hair, alternatively, she also loves being your big spoon. 🥺

@heauxzenji

Kuroo Tetsuro - My other queen, I shall offer you my nerdy king, Kuroo. 👑 Idk man, appearance-wise alone, I already think you’d both be such a beautiful pair. You two are definitely the type of couples on Tik Tok (or whichever apps people use now a days LOL 👵🏻) with a bunch of “relationship goals” in the comments. He’d be a lot of fun to joke around with, will take great care of you, loves to smack your booty (respectfully) because he knows you are absolutely beautiful, and will call you the cutest nicknames. He also secretly reads your spicy fics without telling you, and will maybe try out a new thing or two from it the next time u guys baaaaang. 💥Spiciness aside, he cherishes all your quiet moments, just sitting next to each other as you sip on some tea, your books in hand as you lean shoulder to shoulder against one another.

@tedwardos

Azumane Asahi - idk, I think you both would be incredibly adorable! He is basically kind of like Yams but with a whee bit more softness. He absolutely loves to cuddle, play video games with you (but please go easy on him, he’s a little scared of certain games), and learn new things (e.g. playing DnD for the first time). Tbh, I think he would be great at DnD because he enjoys the imagination and character design aspect, bet his characters are always the best dressed one. Will help style your hair, cook you breakfast, give you shoulder massages, and just spoiling you in general, as long as you hold him close and tell him you love him every now and then to keep him well assured. You’ll never get cold during winter, he’s basically a human furnace who always make sure your feet are covered by the blanket when you cuddle on the couch.

@nonexistent-social-life-mainacct

Akaashi Keiji - I genuinely think this would be a wonderful match. Firstly, he is a wonderful listener, so he’s there for you to come home to after a tough day at work. If it is not something he can actually help you with, he will do his best to cheer you back up after you had gotten everything off your chest. Secondly, look at this 👇🏼

Girl, he will PROTECT you from all those mysterious bruises that tend to appear on your legs haha. Lastly, I know that when he loves someone, he will do all these adorably thoughtful things for you: like massaging your feet, leaving you cute post-it notes before he leaves for work and buying you flowers randomly. I just, I just want the best for u and I KNOW Akaashi will not disappoint at all.

@mer92

Tadashi Yamaguchi - ok hear me out! Baby boy had been crushing on you from a distance for the longest time, he just absolutely admires how you are so hardworking and passionate towards your dream job. He sees how much you care for your friends and he’d always wished he could be a part of your group too. Eventually, when you are both together, he is a wonderful listener, will go out of his ways to spoil you just to see you smile again. He will give you shoulder massages when you are being too tense, and if anyone gets in the way of achieving your goals, he will step up and defend you. Will also buy extra onigiris from Onigiri Miya and bring them to u for lunch, just to make sure that you don’t accidentally skip any meals because you’re too laser focused on your studies! Speaking of studying, he loves studying with you, and is actually a wonderful work buddy. (Always sneaks a glance at your adorable concentrated face)

@danibby

Kotaro Bokuto - Bokuto ADORES you with all his heart omg. When he catches you dancing or choreographing, he will straight up sway or beg you to teach him some moves, before proceeding to absolutely crush it. If he sees you trying out or applying some makeup/skincare products, he will ask you if he could watch or play with it too. Basically, he loves you so much, he just wants to understand and be a part of what you are doing, while he’ll also do the same where he’d teach you the little things he loves to do (will probably try to get you to play volleyball with him ahah). Is fantastic at cheering you up when you are not feeling too good about yourself, and will tickle fight you until you smile for him. Speaking of tickle fights, initiate it at your risk, because he is hella strong, he’ll pin you down or pick you up really easily to his advantage. BIGGEST HYPE MAN, you can walk out, wearing a trash bag and he would still be 😻😻😻.

@shhhlikeme

Aran Ojiro - I know I’m not being too original with this pairing because you actually crush on him to begin with, but you two are just perfect for each other tbh (was going to pick Toshi at first, but thought Aran would be a better fit)! Firstly, you are both absolutely S T U N N I N G ✨, I would be SO intimidated to come anywhere near this power couple. Secondly, you’re both so diligent, kind, and smart, everyone looks up to the two of you, wishing they could be you (Keep wishing, peeps 💅🏼) . Lastly, he seems like an absolute sweetheart, loveeeeees to spoil you with random hugs, kisses, and gifts, and will joke around with you a lot. He’ll find any way he could show you off to his friends, and they’d all be so jealous. It is nice to know that you can always lean on him if you ever have to, and he knows he could do the same with you. Bet your family absolutely LOVES him too, 100% the kind of guy you would want to bring home.

@bjbex​

Yu Nishinoya - Noya is IN LOVE with you, he thinks you are freaking beautiful, is a hottie, and basically his queen. He’d keep crushing on you until you finally give him a chance. When you are together, he’d do anything to please you, ultimately, he just wants to see you smile and happy all the time. He’ll crack some jokes and be a little goof just to cheer you up! Also wants you to freaking DOMINATE him hahahah, trusts you completely, please do as you would like, he’s all yours. Loves getting his lil booty smacked and pegged, but is also always down to pleasure you. Just grab him by his hair (loves getting his hair pulled) and put him in any position you want him.

Will pull some “accident” like this often, so please prepare yourself. Will travel the world with you and take a ton of photos, then proceed to set photos of you as his wallpaper/lock screen on every device.☝🏼

@dymphnasprose

Tendou Satori - Tendou ADORES YOU, for real, he freaking ADORES you (But I adore you more, so he can back down 🤚). He loves to be your little spoon (will literary purr if you give him head rubs), boasts about you to his friends all the time (especially to Toshi), likes to endearingly tease you a lot, and will cook you some nice food all the time (he probably went to culinary school, after all, to become a chocolatier). The first thing he does when he gets back home from work? Hunt you down and immediately cling on to you as he pepper kisses all over your face with that oWo face, if ya know what I mean. Also LOVES to get freaky, this man is flexible, he just loves being intimate with ya, so tell him what you want to do and he will most likely be down to at least give it a shot. ;) Also loves to randomly buy you some cute clothes or jewelry you had been eyeing, he doesn’t do it often, but he’ll spoil you with it here and there when he can. Loves to sing random songs for you, “Dymph-nuhhh, Dymph-nuhhh, my darlin, Dymph-nuhhh~~”

@pleasantanathema

Akiteru Tsukishima - Let me start off by saying that I am absolutely in love with Akiteru, and because I love him so much, I shall pair him with you! Lauren, I am in love with you from the very first moment you’ve hit me up, I feel like our vibes match and because I feel the same way with Akiteru, I believe he would really vibe with you too! He’s an absolute sweetheart who will go out of his ways just to make you happy, you’d both spend hours chit chatting about the most random things, just giggling constantly, and before you know it, it’s already really late at night. He LOVES taking photos of you, and his phone is filled with photos of the two of you. Kei doesn’t really care much about you, but Akiteru will keep bringing you up in conversations with him anyway because he’s just extremely grateful to have you in his life.

@afictionalwhore

Ittetsu Takeda - Listen, as much as I believe Keishin is the perfect man for us you, Takeda is another husband material, adorable man who would also be just as perfect.

LOOK AT HIM REALIZING THAT HE IS IN LOVE WITH U. Also Keishin looking like a snacc right next to him, but this post is not about him mmkay?

Takeda is so weak for you, he’ll spoil you rotten where he can, and his affection bank is unlimited, will constantly remind you that he loves you. He’s also really shy, so sometimes, he’ll try to be “sexy” and initiate something, only to stutter and blush terribly when he attempts to execute it, so please be kind HAHA (I think find that really endearing tbh). Fully understands how tiring it can be to work with children, he is also a teacher after all, so at the end of each day, you’ll both take warm baths together, cuddling as you laugh about all the silly things your kids had done today. Sometimes he will help substitute for you too, if you ever need to take a day off.

I’m very proud of this list, ngl, I stand by my ships 😉

[jazzforthecaptain]

Not liking coffee is very normal in my region! Of my friend group, I think at least half don't drink it at all for either health reasons or because it tastes gross to them. Honestly I agree with them all that coffee smells like lies. It does not taste how it smells. And I like how it tastes.

I hated coffee until I started a new job at around 24ish. The building where I worked was brand new and had a new HVAC system that they were still figuring out. My cubie farm was like Siberia, and the cold made my finger joints stiffen up... not conducive to Photoshop.

They had free coffee in the break room. I was so new at this whole business that I hadn't discovered the joy of making a snack drawer in my cubie yet, so it didn't occur to me to bring non-coffee hot drink supplies. I just started creaming & sugaring my endless supply of free hot coffee to the point that I couldn't taste the bitter (much).

Over time I just stopped putting as much extra stuff in it, either because they were out or I was in a hurry. By the time I left there, I was drinking it black more often than I put things in it.

Now I'm a trash panda who will drink stone cold black coffee I forgot about for twenty-four hours.

The weirdest part about it is how this taste for coffee led to a taste for other bitter/funky foods. I like dry wines now, and I like scotch, which I hated before. But don't get me wrong here - that is not a sign of developing good taste or maturing as a person or whatever. I am still drinking day-old coffee I left on my desk; still can't tell the difference between 'good' meticulously brewed coffee and truck stop jet fuel.

People who drink coffee: why did you start?

I don't drink coffee and I've never wanted to, but that's obviously ~not normal~, so I'm curious why most people do start drinking it.

[ut-storyshift]

Storyshift misconceptions

One of the older AUs in the Undertale fandom and one of the earliest sprite comic AUs is Storyshift, starting on the December the same year that Undertale was released. As such when it comes to these sorts of things, a lot of assumptions get passed around with new fans who aren't aware and base their knowledge off of fanart who based their knowledge off other fanart and so on and so forth. This post is here to help guide those interested away from misconceptions.

One thing I want to make clear is that I don’t make this to shame those who weren't aware before, but to inform for the future. Feel free to use this post to inform others kindly.

Also be aware that this post is about misconceptions with the preboot, aka the original comic. A reboot write up is in the process of being made and some details may differ between the two.

Starting off with an easy to debunk one.

“Storyshift is just a bunch of designs made by the fandom/has no plot.”

This is patently untrue. As stated before, Storyshift is a sprite comic. The comic’s story made it all the way to King Sans before stopping to make a write up for an improved rebooted version. It has an owner (that would be me, the owner of this blog. Here’s a link to my main account.) and has never been abandoned.

Before anyone asks why this is here, yes. This is something I’ve seen stated multiple times. Even right to my face.

“Storyshift has a ton of shifts like Gaster and Annoying Dog.“

Nope. There are only five pairs of shifts, that is ten characters changing roles. While other characters may be modified due to different interactions such as Catty and Bratty fangirling over Undyne, none of them have had their roles changed.

The only characters that have their roles changed are Napstablook, Mettaton, Sans, Papyrus, Alphys, Undyne, Toriel, Asgore, Asriel, and Chara. No one else. You can see how I detail each role here, which leads into the next point.

“Storyshift swaps the personalities a ton.“

Incorrect. While certain characters act differently due to the circumstances that happened, they still have their own personalities. You won’t be seeing Asriel trying to capture humans when Chara is standing right next to them or Toriel trying to kill humans because that isn’t their character.

I would especially like to point out Asriel and Chara in this regard. A large amount of people seem to love them so much that they... ignore their actual personality and make them at like Papyrus and Sans? That example above wasn’t one I made up, I’ve seen that show up now and again and it’s baffling to say the least.

“Storyshift’s designs“

Just gonna stop right there. This alone gets its own tab just so we don’t have to spend most of this on it. Please take note of these because it’s something that has a lot of misinformation spread about it.

Here’s Frisk/Shifty. Look familiar? They should because their outfit doesn’t change in Storyshift.

Here’s Asriel. He’s not wearing a scarf, it’s a bandanna also known as a kerchief. Here’s a few other characters wearing one in a similar way.

This is a deliberate choice to make Asriel more distinct from Papyrus’s cape. It’s not a scarf, never has been and never will.

Here’s Chara. As you can see, their eyes are not red. This particular detail is key in this AU Chara’s eyes DO glow red, but only when using their magic.. However this is highly costly and tiring. Red eyes are fitting when Chara uses their magic but otherwise it’s wasteful.

Additionally, notice how their hands aren’t in their pockets. That’s because they don’t have any pockets. Their jacket was a piece of trash from Waterfall and was thrown out for that and a ripped out zipper.

Also, because this is an odd trend I don’t get. Chara is about the same age as Frisk, as shown by their similar height. There’s no gap in height or age.

Here’s Toriel. She has no scars since her ranged fire attacks don’t let anyone close enough to strike and has taken up dodging from Asgore. Additionally she doesn’t have an eyepatch. Why would she need one? She has both eyes and isn’t a pirate.

Here’s Undyne. She’s not just Mettaton’s body with her head slapped on. Enough said.

Here’s Papyrus. Notice his robe with pants visible. It’s not a carbon copy of Toriel’s robe.

Additionally Papyrus doesn’t have his scarf/cape nor does he ever wear any sort of orange. His robe is the royal purple since he takes his job as a Prince very seriously.

Here’s King Sans. As you can see, his armor is scarce and made of silver, not gold. This is a reflection on how ill fitting he is as royalty and also looks better with his blue coloring. The crown was left gold since it was a hand down from the former king.

Here’s a bonus that wasn't shown in the comic; what King Sans wears under his cloak!

Here’s Mettacrit. Not a human. Never a robot. Not wearing any clothes, striped or otherwise.

Same for Blooky’s species being the same and not wearing clothes.

“But their relationships have changed!“

Not really. Any blood relationships stay the same. The only major deviation from canon is Toriel and Asgore still being married, unlike their currently strained relationship. There was no major event to get them to split in this universe like in canon so they stayed the happy couple they were before the war declaration.

To make things clear in one part. Mettacrit and Napstablook are cousins that were friends of Sans and Papyrus, two brothers. Not their children.

“Shifty and Hapstablook.“

The first is Frisk’s in game name. It was supposed to be revealed at the end that the player did actually give Frisk a nickname at the beginning. A subversion of the original twist, not that it was somehow Metta’s actual name.

The second is flat out wrong. The ghost character that isn’t Napstablook is not called the headcanon name that Papyrus gave to a stranger aka ‘Hapstablook’. It’s Mettacrit. He’s never referred by anything otherwise in the comic.  His name has a similar format to Napstablook’s even.

“Okay so Mettacrit is in Chara’s role, so that means he’s one dimensionally evil!“

That’s a shallow and lazy reading of Metta’s character, Chara’s character, and what being in the role of the one who took action with the Barrier plan means.

"'Mirror' is a common nickname Chara has for Frisk."

That was just meant to be a one-off joke. A cheeky reference to them sharing the same sprite outline. That’s it. Yet people act like that’s the only thing Chara calls Frisk.

"Chara fights with magical knives."

Now, why would they do that when they have a perfectly good knife already?  They use plant magic, as shown in their room in the comic.

“So what about all these SShift songs I see floating around like Megaloglamor?”

Unless the song is a part of the official OST, it’s not canon to Storyshift.

“And those fan battles like Ultra Undyne?”

Not even close to canon. Don’t treat them as such.

“Photoshop Boogie and God of Hyperblook?”

Nothing even close to those has been shown in canon and are just fanmade ideas. Please don’t treat them as canon.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #257

I hope y’all are behaving and staying inside. This’ll blow over, folks.

Have you ever met a guy for coffee? No. How often do you get called on your home phone? We don't have a landline. Do you feed your leftovers to your dogs? We don't have a dog anymore. When we had them, we very rarely did. Mom did so more than me, and I wouldn't give them anything if they were begging. Except chicken nuggets with Teddy. There was no denying him chicken nuggets. Do you like salt on your popcorn? Yes. What tricks does your pet do? Well one is a snake and my cat doesn't know any because since when do cats obey you lmao. Do you believe in psychics? No. When you hear the name “Ginger” what do you think of? Jason's old fatass dog. What is the worst damage that your car has seen? N/A Who is your least favourite character on your favourite television show? In Meerkat Manor, fuck that, I loved them all, lmao. Well, I remember I was bitter towards Rita/Amira for killing Rocket Dog's pups, but even then I knew that was meerkat nature to ensure the survival of their own offspring. That '70s Show, definitely no one. I adore all the characters. For Fullmetal Alchemist, honestly, there are SO many that I don't remember probably even half of them. BUT, from what I do remember, Nina's dad whose name evades me. You watch it and you know why alkdsjf;kaldjw. Have you gotten sick this year? No. When was the last time you got a new ringtone? Eons ago. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They're always in my purse. What’s your phone background picture? Lock screen is a cute as fuck picture of Mark, home screen is two meerkats. If you could move to any country, what would it be? Realistically, Canada. Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty of times. Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls? A LOT. My walls are cramped; it makes it feel homey to me. Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance? Nah, too long of a journey. How do you cope with anxiety? Watch YouTube more attentively, listen to music, nap, take one of my anxiety meds. Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? No. Who makes you laugh the most? In my "real life," my dad. Out of anyone that includes those I don't actually know, probably Shane Dawson. He's a Mood, constantly. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Oh, plenty. I have like the most common white girl middle name out there. What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist? I had a cavity filled. What does a successful relationship look like to you? Both ends are happy, communication is ideal and easy for the pair, both feel loved and accepted fully, and each has healthy freedom. What do you like to put on your baked potato? The ordinary butter, cheese, and bacon bits. What field of science interests you the most? Genetics. What’s the closest shop or restaurant to your house? A Zaxby's and McDonald's are tied, being right across the street from each other. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th is the one I remember best, but not in a good way. What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? Our last house, aesthetically. Right in the woods and relatively pretty, yet simple. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. Do you know why your parents named you what they did? No. I think Mom just liked the name, though. What do you like to dip your fries in? Ketchup, mostly. Is your house clean or messy right now? It's actually really clean right now. We've had a lot of help around the house recently thanks to family and friends with Mom's cancer, and then I've been much neater and attentive to cleanliness than usual because 1.) it's my responsibility to ensure it is for Mom's health and 2.) I dropped out of school so literally have zero excuses to not be doing at least one productive thing. What was the last email you received? That wasn't trash, it was from my old major's dean in school. She was trying to comfort me and give me options on what to do versus leave, but yeah. I'll 100% give it to the school that they deeply and sincerely care for their students, I just needed to go. Do you know someone who speaks without a filter? lmao me. Well, depends, I guess, actually. I know when to keep my mouth shut in some situations. What’s your favourite kind of museum? Science museums. Especially those with d i n o z. Do you believe in alternate universes? I'm open to it, especially with the mandela effect theories, but I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Pokemon GO (if I'm in an area w/ Stops to get balls) and Dragons of Atlantis. What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween? We don't really decorate anymore for Halloween, or holidays in general. How many tabs do you have open right now? Two. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Try more sites to hopefully get a poem I wrote published, but that crippling fear of rejection tho. :^) What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? The time. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah, I loved that as a kid. I’m guessing you’ve probably been asked this before, but which do you prefer - Coca Cola, or Pepsi? Coke. Pepsi is gross. Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? No. Did you go to your school dances? Did you dance with anyone? Just two proms. We didn't dance tho because the music was shit. What’s your relationship with the last person you talked to on the phone? What was your conversation about? Like, talk-talked, no texting? Uhhh who was that. OH YEAH, my sister. My mom didn't answer her phone so she just called me to make sure she was okay. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner?
 No, I never do. It just adds oil to your hair, and mine is naturally oily enough. Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a lot, none positive. If the last girl you texted told you that she was pregnant, how would you respond? Ask her who the fuck I need to kill. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well considering 1.) she's past menopause and 2.) she has serious ovarian and Fallopian cancer, I'd say that's pretty impossible. Who do you have the most text messages from? Sara. The last time you skipped school, what was the reason?
 Uhhh if you mean "skip" as in I had seriously no realistic reason not to go, I think I was just really tired. I tried not to skip unless I was having serious mental health issues. When did you last see or speak to someone you dislike? Why do you dislike this person? I actually don't know who that would be. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I rarely sing. I just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes. Does more than one person like you? *shrugs* Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t? No. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. Of course I do sometimes. Other times I know it's probably for the better we have nothing to do with each other anymore. Do you like your middle name?
 I mean it's pretty, but boy do I wish it was more original. If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I doubt it will ever be long again. Would you consider your parents to be strict? Dad never was at all; Mom sorta was when I was little. Do you have a mirror in your room? On the back of my door. Have you ever worked in food service? No, thank God. Do you often stay in your pajamas all day? I almost always do, unless I have to go out somewhere. I pretty much never leave my house ever, forget just quarantine, so like... why make more laundry. What are three YouTube videos you would like to film soon? N/A Do you ever listen to country music? No. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. What’s the largest library fine you’ve ever had? Oh wow, no clue. I haven't been the library in millennia. Have you ever lost a library card? *shrugs* Name three literary characters you feel resemble you the most. UH yikes. This requires too much thought for me rn. Name three cartoon characters that resemble you, and say why. Ummmm I still don't know. Do you have a good doctor? I haven't seen her enough times yet to honestly say. Mom knows and likes her well, though. She's fine so far. Do you wear a watch every day? If so, what color is your watch? No, I never do. Does your phone alarm ever scare you? No, it's very peaceful. Which department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. How old were you when you got your driver’s license? I'm 24 and am yet to have it. Do you have regrets? A good handful or two. Do you ever curl your hair? It's too short to do so. Do you know anyone who has coronavirus? No, and I pray I never do for my mom's sake. Out of all the big cities you’ve visited, which has/have been your favorite? Chicago is the only big city I've ever been it. Was pretty damn dope, though. Do you like dreamcatchers? I mean, they're cool. I don't believe in them being magical, though. Have you ever made a dreamcatcher, and if not, would you like to learn? No and no. Who was your high school’s biggest bully? I don't remember. What color was your graduation cap and gown? Red. Did you keep your graduation cap? I think I did. Did you decorate your graduation cap? Nope. What is your favorite part of nature? The animals within it. Do you use Photoshop? Yes. Favorite photo editing app on your phone? I don't have an editing app. Did you love or hate college? Well, considering I dropped out three times, guess. Favorite class in high school? Art. Favorite class in college? Idk. Probably Writing. Class you hated the most in high school? Math. Class you hated the most in college? Painting brought me the most stress. Do you know how to write in calligraphy? Not technically. Have you ever had a pen pal? No. Do you prefer brownies or cookies? Brownies. Man I could go for one. Favorite Girl Scout cookie? Those Reeses-ish ones. Did you ever go camping as a kid? No. Do you have hormone issues? No. Have you ever gotten a misdiagnosis because your parent(s) lied about you? Er, no? A shitty doctor has misdiagnosed me, though. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? I didn't even know there were "types"... Do you wake up to an alarm? No. When did you go to bed yesterday? Like, 8-something... I rarely make it past 9:30 nowadays. Do you live in a city, town, or in the country? The country. What color is your toothbrush? White. When was the last time you had a nightmare? Yesterday while I was napping. Woke up shrieking and scared Mom out of her skin. Tainted my mood almost the rest of the day. If you had a terminal illness, would you want to know? No shit I would. What was the last thing someone called you other than your real name? I don't know. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I have no clue. Is there a candle in the room you are in? No. Are you currently taking any prescribed medication? More than I like. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medications for it? Yes and yes. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on? I don't know. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? A suicide attempt. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? Ugh. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about? No. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No no no no. I need a reason to leave the house. I'm way more productive away from home anyway. What were you like in middle school? "The weird kid" describes it pretty well. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to? YIKES!!!! Now that's a question. Probably something for suicide prevention/awareness. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet? The cure for cancer. It's incredible, just how many "possible" cures have been identified in nature, yet you like... hear NOTHING about it afterwards??? My conspiratory and "the medical industry just cares more about money" ass wonders about that a lot. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity or The Rite. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? No. And probably not. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? Hm. I'm sure there's something. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes? No, pretty sure they've all been sold. Did you ever build furniture forts as a child? Yep. What kind of dog is your favorite? Pretty sure I'm biased towards beagles. Are the majority of your friends male or female? Female, I think? Have you ever considered dropping acid? Noooo sir. Would you consider yourself to be mature? Mostly. Describe your music style: I like unique alternative stuff. Catchy, heavy riffs do me in easily, too. I like well thought out, dark, and impactful lyrics. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Have you ever had a seizure? No. When was the last time you were in a hospital? For myself, 2017. I think. Do you go on vacations a lot? I never do. Are you self-conscious around other people? Very. At your workplace, are you required to wear a uniform? N/A Have you ever witnessed a physical fight in real life? Huh, good question actually. What was your GPA in high school? 4.2/3 or something. Do you use a lot of hair products? I don't use any. I mean, besides shampoo. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent at one time? My own money, I think $300 on a tattoo. What is the best pizza place out there? Domino's. I'm such a basic bitch. Do you know how to play any odd instruments most people can’t play? Nope. When was the last time you used a disposable camera? I think the zoo visit in 5th grade. What is your favorite book series, if you have one? Can't say I really have one. It definitely used to be Warriors by Erin Hunter, but I haven't read any in maaaaaany years. Do you have any celebrity autographs? Nah. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? Just black. Admit it – you want a Snuggie. What design/color? I got a black one one Christmas, lol. They're honestly not all that great. Do you prefer movies at home or movies at the theater? THE THEATER. I actually enjoy watching movies in the theater. It's just the vibe, I guess, and the size of the screen so you take in everything. How many songs does your iTunes have? Just over 1k. Its memory is maxed out, oof, so if I want a new song, I have to thin the library out. Do you take a shower in the morning or the night before? I've been taking showers more often in the morning, lately. It's a nice, refreshing start to the day. I'm just too tired and unmotivated to at night. Who’s your youngest teacher? N/A When’s the last time you had a rock, paper, scissors match? Wow, no clue. What’s your favorite anime? Fullmetal Alchemist. Did you cry when Ash let his Butterfree go with the other Butterfrees? Oh I probably did, but THEN AGAIN, the female was FUCKIN PINK so I'm sure I was also happy for Butterfree lmao. Even as a kiddo, I knew pink was The Shit. Skinny, flared, ripped, or faded jeans? Skinny, ripped ones. What are you excited for? Just honestly, nothing in the even remotely near future. Nothing in my life is exciting rn. Are you part of the Farmville cult? Never played. Have you ever stood on a frozen solid body of water? YIKES besides like, small puddles, definitely not. I'd be scared to. Which person from way back when would you love to hang out with? Jenna, an old best friend, came to mind first here. It'd be great to catch up with her. She called me in the hospital after my suicide attempt despite not talking in absolutely forever, and I'm never going to forget that. Does your family use a real pine tree or a plastic one for Christmas? Plastic. Literally the only positive of the real ones is the smell. Otherwise, it's a mess that dies too quickly. Do you have any foreign exchange students at your school? N/A What’s your second language? I'm not fluent in it, definitely not anymore, but the language I took for four semesters was German. Is it uncomfortable for you to take showers in glass stalls w/out curtains? OH MY GOD I would positively hate that. Even IF I had a decent body. Did you understand Shakespeare? I was alright. What was the last shot you got? It was a numbing agent into my gums. They had to do it like... seven times. Apparently, I'm just like. Really hard to numb. Ever gotten cavities? Yeah. Do you use hair ties as bracelets? I don't even wear hair ties. What was the last school project you did that you couldn’t wait to turn in? Uhhh... I don't remember. Have you ever graded papers? I actually have; I was helping a teacher on work day. I used to go back to my elementary school a lot to visit my favorite teachers. What was your favorite year of school up to this point? Maybe like, junior year of high school? Or senior. I don't remember which one of those I enjoyed more. I just remember I loved my art class, I had great grades, my relationship was strong, yada yada. What’s the latest you’ve ever woken up? Like 5-6 PM. Had a busy night and that evening was a complete panic attack because my system was so thrown off. One thing I DON'T miss from high school: how bad my anxiety was. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? NOOOO I cannot. Like, at all. Are you a sucker for foreign accents? Some, yes. Do you do yoga? Not anymore.

[skunky2]

Top 11 Worst Cartoons of the 2010′s!!

We had so many great cartoons introduced in this decade and while I haven't seen every last one I can say this decade was one of the best for animation in general! Sadly for every good animated show produced in this era there are also some bad apples in the bunch the following cartoons are some of the worst I have seen but please remember this is only my opinion if you like any of these shows then that's great continue to enjoy them don't let me stop you!!! 

        Now let's get this list started!!!

11. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs the series         (2017-2018) 

Ok before we talk about the show I want to make one thing clear I don't hate the films in fact I actually find them enjoyable even going as far as calling them guilty pleasures the show on the other hand is a huge flop compared to the movies were the films had creativity and fun humor the show lacks that in fact this is by far the most boring show to be based on a freaking film about an invention that makes it rain food!! The other problem I have with this show is it's set before the events of the films so Flint hasn't even become an inventor yet but instead it's about him in high school and apparently him and Sam knew each other already did they even watch their first film!? Also the mayor is the principle because why not seriously this has got to be the worst show based on a hit animated film it's so painfully unfunny that I question how kids found it entertaining to begin with!!!! Not every movie needs a tv series and this one proves it!

10.  Total Dramarama (2018-ongoing) 

Oh the pain to see the Total Drama series downgraded to this especially since the original Total Drama Island took a ton of risk for a show aimed at kids also how did we go from a series that spoofed reality  shows to a bad Muppet Babies rip-off!! What's really sad is that creators have no desire to produce a new Total Drama series they just want to work on this. On the plus side it's still not as bad as other shows your going to see later on the list. 

9. Super Noobs (2015-ongoing) 

Other then the "how do you do fellow kids" title I wasn't expecting this show to wow me considering it was brought to you by the same dude that brought us Johnny Test aka the original most hated cartoon of all time I got the DA pics to back me up! The worst part is this show has a very interesting concept but it's ruined due to the bad humor and characters. The show is about a group of outcast middle schoolers who receive super powers in the form of power balls from aliens who then become their mentors and how they must save the world from an evil virus that threatens the world sounds like an awesome plot too bad it's not pushed further. 

8. Almost Naked Animals (2011-2013)

Yes this is a children's cartoon not a title for an X rated film. All I can say about this show is why? Why would anyone greenlight a show about an animal nudist hotel not only is it disgusting but those character designs yikes!!!! They look so ugly looking no one wants to see something that looks this hideous!!  Not to mention the humor is just as terrible as the art design. 

7. Breadwinners (2014-2016) 

You know when you feature twerking in your show you automatically fail. The best way I can describe this cartoon is it's just awful first off the two idiot main characters who I'm not going to refer by name since they are some of the most stupidest names for characters seriously  SwaySway and Buhdeuce!? Anyway the show is about these two "ducks" I say ducks like that since they look nothing like ducks they look like frogs or aliens or something. Try to make your character if they are an animal try to look as close as possible as the species they're supposed to be so it will make it easier for you audience to identify them. Well they fly around in a rocket car or something I really don't care and deliver bread to stock-image ducks which brings me to another problem they can't even draw background characters they just go on Google find a duck photo and photoshop cartoon eyes and whatever on it how lazy a can you be!! Also I found out a long time ago your actually not supposed to give ducks bread yeah it can use malnutrition and illness to them so this cartoon is spreading the wrong message to kids. 

6. Brickleberry (2012-2015)

You know why I despise most adult cartoons because most of them are either trying way to hard to be quote on quote "adult" with overuse of swearing, gore, shock humor, and sex jokes and guess what this show is full of this!! Not only is the animation similar to that to Family Guy it's just as disgusting and offensive!!! The show revolves around these park rangers and their everyday lives at their jobs and the characters aren't very good either they are pretty much all assholes, stereotypes of usual characters you see in adult animation, and your typical characters that are just there to offend you! In fact the little bear cub character is pretty much the shows answer to Brain from Family Guy with the personality  of Cartman from South Park. Now I haven't seen this show in a long time but I just remember it wasn't a pleasant experience if you want to check it out just be warned it's not for the faint of heart.  Also the creators of this show produced another show for Netflix that is just a carbon copy with cops instead of rangers and I though that Seth McFarlane was lazy when it came to plots!! It's called Paradise P.D. btw 

5. Teen Titians Go!  (2013-Ongoing) 

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah you've heard it all before this show is garbage, a disgrace to DC comics, stupid etc. The animation community has tore this show apart so there really isn't much to say that already hasn't been said but I will say this I never intended to hate this show as much as I do in fact I was fine with it when it fist came out I mean the original Teen Titians cartoon from 2003 will always be better then this show in every possible way but I wasn't one of the fans to jump on the hate wagon when this was announced I mean I had nothing wrong with it just focusing on comedy if you remember correctly the original had eps that were just as silly and bizarre. The main reasons why this show is so high up on this list is for the following reasons the first is I've never seen a show like this disrespect a fan base this much  it's like the creators have it out for the original fans and they get joy out of mocking them with all these pathetic critic call out eps they do it also shows that they can't take criticism at all!!!! Second is how the creators view their show and animation in general they literally came out in an interview and said the reason why they made the show so stupid is because it's for children you do know kids aren't stupid right guys they deserve shows that don't try to talk down to them!!!! But the main reason for my anger towards this show is how they made an episode awhile were the moral literally was that cartoons are only for kids and told the original fans to grow up!! Mainly the creators themselves have this warped mindset that I honestly wish would just die out that only children should be allowed to watch cartoons and that their show should be immune to all the hate since it's for kids so they use the "just for kids" excuse for their show being like it is. It's hard to believe they would even have a mindset like that when they are adults themselves making an animated cartoon show. I didn't mean to rant this long but I mainly hate everything this show stands for and sadly it's going onto to get 300+ eps. Personality I really think it's time for this show to officially Go not because I don't like it's mainly because it's showing signs it's on it's last legs and with that Sixth Titian thing they pulled this summer and repeating episode plots is starting to show that the writers are becoming burned out this show was never good but I think it's time it ended. There are tons of other reasons this show is bad but I rather not go into them this has gone on long enough already. 

4. PPG 2016 (2016-Ongoing) 

Well TTG isn't the worst reboot/spinoff Cartoon Network produced in this decade the honor has to go to this piece of trash Powerpuff Girls 2016!! Why was this made simple CN wanted more money so they made this show to sell toys yes that was the only purpose of this reboot to sell merchandise too bad the show sucked so hard that the target demo along with the fans of the original Powerpuff Girls hated it! There are tons of problems with this reboot that have already been explained such as god awful animation errors, bad writing, and let's not forget the memes those outdated memes. Not to mention they removed the character Ms. Bellum since the creator thought that having a beautiful, warm-hearted, motherly, intelligent and strong-willed woman on the show was offensive to the new generation! Not to mention they got rid of breast but they did allow the girls to twerk tho!!! Yes because having an intelligent good-looking woman with boobs is bad but kindergarteners doing a sexually explicate dance is fine!! Seriously I feel so bad for Craig McCracken it was bad enough he was screwed over by Disney but to have his show turned into this!! 

3. The Problem Solverz (2011-2013) 

If you want to know my opinion for the worst animated show Cartoon Network has ever made it would be this one! Not only is the show ugly to look at but it uses enough bright colors to make your eyes bleed. The show is about these detectives who solve problems in their home town too bad they cause 90% of the problems they need to solve. These characters are so nasty to look out we got this ugly fish-like man, some robot, and a big nosed hideous lipped Domo wannabe. It was cancelled from tv but ran it's final season on Netflix. I still feel pain for any child that had to sit though this. 

2. Pickle and Peanut (2015-2018) 

Ugh this show!!!! If you've never seen it you may guess this would be something on Adult Swims line up since they're more known for wired shows like this but no it's not from Adult Swim in fact you'll never believe who made this Disney!!! Yes Disney Television Animation produced this the very same company that bought us shows like Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb, Star Vs. and so on made this garbage. There are several problems with this show first off the animation remember when I said that Breadwinners was lazy for using stock-images as background characters well this is the same damn thing but in reverse they couldn't even animate a pickle and a gosh darn peanut this is a peeve I have with most modern cartoons if it's not for a joke then why use stock-images it just makes your show look lazy! Second the humor it sucks it's mainly is "trying" to be Regular Show since both characters are slackers and get into bizarre adventures. Also this show loves to show gross-out shots like the ones in Spongebob for example but unlike Spongebob these are not funny and just plain disgusting like how is this show fun for kids to watch I mean I can understand why kids love cartoons like TTG but I can't see any child liking a show like this!!! Finally we have to talk about the god awful theme song it's not even a theme song but a random robot voice listing off things adults think that children are into so pretty much they're trying way too hard to appeal to kids just like with PPG 2016. There really isn't much more to say about this show it's just awful and it's still hard to believe Disney had a part in making this.

Now it's time for the cartoon from the 2010's that I believe disserves the crown as the worst show from this decade. Out of all the shows I've seen this year none of them of completely  disgusted me more then this one it pretty much has everything  I despise in modern adult animation it makes Brickleberry look tame in comparison!!! It comes to us from our friends at Adult Swim may I present to you the cartoon that I consider the worst!

1. Mr. Pickles (2013-Ungoing) 

I honestly don't know where to start on this one it's just god awful!! First it's got all the things I despise in adult animation shock humor, sex jokes, violence for the sake of it, and ugly character designs!! The show is about a family who owns a dog who is either the devil himself or one of his loyal followers and the dog does extremely messed up things to people stuff I rather not try to remember let's just say this show is MA for reason. If you have a faint heart please stay away from this show at all cost!!!

So there it is my opinions for the worst shows from this decade I hope you all enjoy it since I worked really hard on it.

I didn’t include Big Mouth or Paradise P.D. because I’ve never seen them but yeah I know they’re bad. 

[katarh-mest]

I'm also part of the group that doesn't like AI being trained on data sets without the permission of artists and writers just because their stuff is available on the Internet.

Train your writing data set on Project Gutenberg? Sure, they're all dead anyway. Train your writing data set on your company's internal documents to assist your existing employee base in doing their current tasks with fewer errors? Sure, your company owns the IP and it can help speed up routine uncreative tasks that are pain in the ass that way, like auto generating parts of the software code. (The code framework my office develops in - Grails - does this. It's handy as heck. it does not write the code for the devs. It just identifies what they are starting to write and auto-connects the dots.)

Train your data set on a collection of high resolution art that you painted and/or scanned yourself, to allow Photoshop and Illustrator's AI tools to fill in the gaps in your own digital art? Sure, that's just harnessing the power of procedurally generated data to help you paint better/faster.

AI is useful when it:

Does not steal from living people without their permission

Does not aim to make current jobs obsolete unless those jobs are the absolute trash jobs that would be outsourced to another country anyway (looking at you shitty call center work)

Does not displace real authors, artists, or actors - or steal their residuals/royalties by taking their NILs and subsequent rights

Is used to help existing employees do their work better

CANNOT BE COPYRIGHTED IF IT WAS TRAINED ON STOLEN ART OR WRITING

Ykw, I'm curious.

Please answer honestly and truthfully.

PLEASE REBLOG FOR SAMPLE SIZE

[aweirdkindofyellow]

Here I Am, There You Are Pt. 6

Jack Barakat x OC ‘Rachel has been best friends with Alex, Jack, Rian, and Zack since high school. What happens when one of them gets married?’

Part 6

Once nine o’clock came rolling around, I was leaving a taxi with a duffle bag hanging from my shoulder and my handbag awkwardly balancing on top of the duffle bag’s strap. Honestly, I felt like a teenager leaving my best friend’s house after a sleepover. Only, I was much older than a teenager, and I was coming back from work. Although, you could technically say that I was going to go to a sleepover.

Other than being late, work also left me in an inappropriate outfit for the situation. First of all, heels. Completely open heels. They were okay for sitting in meetings for an entire day, but not for what was to come. Along with those heels I was wearing some dark blue high waisted dress pants. The shirt wasn’t too bad, it was a white t-shirt, but I was also wearing a blazer that matched with the pants. It truly was the perfect outfit for work, which meant it was the worst outfit for a concert.

Music was already booming from inside the venue. The queue outside was already long gone, the only people still outside only being there to clean up the trash that people had left behind. I rolled my eyes, remembering the many times I would freak out on the guys when they left their trash outside when we were waiting to get into a concert back in high school. But, hey, what can you do. Nobody wants to lose their spot to go to the bin.

I went to the back entrance to find nothing but a closed door. Originally, there was going to be somebody waiting to greet me and take me inside, but once again I was way too late for that. Everybody was busy doing their jobs. I was going to have to call Jack so either he could let me in or he could find somebody else to let me in. But my phone was somewhere at the bottom of my bag, so it was a real struggle. Before I started swearing and getting too annoyed, I happened to notice somebody in the hallway inside through the small window at eye-height in the door.

I knocked on the window loudly and waved to get her attention. She looked up at me and I recognised her as the first supporting act’s lead singer. At first, she looked very confused, but I beckoned for her to come over, hoping I wasn’t coming over as too creepy. Luckily, she came over and opened the door, but she did the right thing not opening it too far and letting me in.

“Hi?” She said with much confusion.

“Hi,” I sighed in relief. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m not a crazy fan trying to get backstage. I’m Jack’s girlfriend.” She continued to stare at me, making me realise that ‘Jack’ could literally be anybody. I quickly clarified, “Jack Barakat.”

“Oh, umm…” She still seemed skeptical and glanced inside to see if there was anybody who could help her, but nobody was there.

“You have no reason to believe me,” I said to show I knew and understood her fear. “I’d call him, but I literally can’t find my phone right now. I could… umm… you could check his instagram? I’m on there.”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll check.” She pulled out her phone from her back pocket.

I apologised when she unlocked it and opened the app. She searched for Jack’s profile and tapped on it before scrolling through the images. We went past many images, making my case look very bad. I could tell she didn’t really believe me anymore, if she ever did. Even I would have doubted myself. But then she happened to scroll past a post Jack had put up on our anniversary, which was also Alex’s and Lisa’s anniversary. We were very unsure about posting anything on that day, not wanting to take away from their special day, but they said it didn’t matter.

“Hang on. There!” I exclaimed with a bit too much excitement, making her go back to the post.

“That’s you?” She still seemed unconvinced as she zoomed into the photo.

“Yeah,” I nodded, knowing it wasn’t an all too great photo since it was from quite a distance and my hair was a lot longer. “I should be tagged in it. If not, he’s got some explaining to do.”

But, when she tapped on the photo, my username popped up. She tapped on it and opened my profile. There, it looked a lot more like me. I also had a few more photos with Jack posted on mine than Jack had on his of me. The only reason I didn’t tell her to go to my profile first was because I could have easily taken them at some meet and greet or used some amazing photoshop skills, which both weren’t the case, but still.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she apologised when she realised I was telling the truth and nothing but the truth, and let me in.

“No, it’s cool. Better safe than sorry. I could have been a fan with an elaborate plan,” I told her.

“Okay, well, I’ve got to go into the opposite direction, but All Time Low’s dressing room is just down the hall, to the right, and then three doors down. There’s also signs when you go to the right, so don’t worry too much about finding your way around.”

I thanked her and we parted ways. Although I could remember the directions she gave me, I followed the signs all the way to the dressing room. The boys were getting ready to play their shows. They all had their clothes on and were busy getting their in-ear monitors ready. It was only half an hour until they had to be on stage.

“Hey, it’s Rachel!” Alex was the first to notice me enter the doorway.

Jack immediately perked up and looked up over Zack’s shoulder, who he was helping with the in-ear monitors.

“Hey, guys, I’m so sorry I’m so awfully late,” I apologised despite the fact that I knew I hadn’t inconvenienced them and had kept Jack up to date through brief texts. “I’m just going to go change and let you guys finish what you’re doing.”

“Wait,” Jack stopped me, his hands still on the Zack’s jean’s waistband to attach the box. “Have you had dinner yet?”

Originally, Jack and I were going to go out for dinner together. He had made reservations and everything. It would have meant that we would have missed the first support act, but we would have been back way sooner than I came. However, that plan obviously fell through. Instead, he went and had that dinner with Rian because it would have been a waste of a reservation otherwise.

“No, I haven’t had time to even think about food today. But I have...” I shook my head and looked into my handbag. I had brought a lunch with me to work and was assuming that I had brought it with me. But I had left it in the fridge at work. “… a mini KitKat. I’ll be fine.”

After that, I slipped into the bathroom and stripped off the clothes I had been wearing for over twelve hours. Now was my time to put on a concert-ready outfit, or also known to me as some normal clothing. I pulled on my ripped blue jeans and a dark gray t-shirt before discarding my heels for some black vans. There was no real reason to dress up or think too much about it. Next, I brushed my hair, deciding it was too messy and putting it up in a ponytail, and then just took off all my makeup. My skin needed to breathe. I tried to be as quick as possible, knowing that it was only a matter of time until they had to move to the stage.

When I came back into the dressing room, the boys were done with helping each other. They were now playing some loud music through their large speakers. Alex was doing his silly dancing, Rian was sitting on one of the couches tapping along to the music, and Zack felt the need to do some pushups. And Jack? Well, Jack was stood at the microwave pulling out a styrofoam box.

He grabbed a fork from a container and made his way over to me, giving it all to me. “Here, eat this. I was keeping it for myself for later, but you need it more.”

I opened the take-away box and saw some delicious looking pasta from the restaurant we were supposed to go to. “Thank you.” I quickly pecked him on the lips before digging in.

“Ugh,” Alex groaned in disgust. I looked at him to see his scrunched up nose and dirty look was directed at me and Jack.

“What? Can’t deal with a little minor PDA?” I commented while still eating my pasta.

“No, I can deal with it, but you guys…” he visibly shivered on purpose and pulled the same face again. “I’m used to you acting all close, you even did that back in high school. But you guys kissing and knowing you guys– you guys– It’s like knowing my parents–” He added a faking gagging noise.

“Well, deal with it,” Jack retorted and wrapped and arm around my waist for emphasis. “She’s here for a week and I’m going to be making sweet sweet love to her.”

“Sweet sweet love,” I repeated in a singsong voice just to watch Alex squirm.

“You guys disgust me. Keep that out of my face,” Alex said sternly, but I could tell he was just joking. He liked me and Jack together, he had made that clear many times before.

I continued to stuff the pasta into my mouth to try and finish it on time. It wasn’t long until they were going to go side stage. I didn’t want to bring it with me, but I did want to finish it. Although I wasn’t hungry before, one bite rejigged my stomach and it started sending messages to my brain again to eat. Once I finished it, I put it to the side and remembered one last thing I wanted to wear to hide the mess that was my hair.

I pulled out a black baseball cap with a logo on the front of it and showed it to Jack. “You might not remember this, but I stole this from you.”

“Really?” He took it out of my hands and inspected it with a frown. I could see him trying to imagine the rack he had in his closet for all his caps to see where it could be missing from. “Are you sure?”

“Blink concert, summer 2005,” I stated, but he still didn’t seem to remember. “You dragged me out super early because you wanted to get good places and nobody else was able to go so early. We had to stand out in the sun for hours. I was dying and starting to get a sunburn, so you gave me your hat to help save my face. I never gave it back and wore it a lot during first year of college.”

“I remember now,” he grinned and put the hat on my head. “That was the day before I developed a humongous crush on you. My sister asked me about the concert and she planted these thoughts in my head that made me overthink everything.”

“No... really?” I tried thinking back to the weeks afterwards, but couldn’t recall ever thinking that Jack had feelings for me. Usually, I was very good at knowing when guys would crush on me in high school, but I only knew about the brief time Jack had a schoolboy crush on me for a week during freshman year.

“Yeah, but I knew you were crushing on Chris Feltner, and you guys dated for–”

“We dated until first year of college.” I nodded, realising I maybe had been too obsessed with my own feelings to realise how one of my best friend’s was feeling. “I know.”

“Well, suck it Feltner, guess who’s got the girl now!” Jack shouted in triumph before going in for a proper kiss.

I jumped when a flash went off and turned to see a girl with a camera standing in the doorway. She was smiling brightly and gushed, “that’s so cute.”

“You scared me,” I breathed out in shock and held a hand to my heart.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” she excused. “I should have asked to take your picture before.”

“Oh, no, it’s cool,” I quickly told her so she wouldn’t feel guilty. “I just didn’t see you there. No, you can take my picture if you like. I believe I actually have an old photo from 2005 of the two of us with me wearing this hat. It’s a nice comparison.”

“Rachel often makes me take pictures of her, you’re all good,” Jack added with a chuckle.

“Like you don’t make me take hundreds of different photos just for you to choose one to send to your mom,” I retorted.

“But I’m not embarrassed about it, I don’t give a shit.”

“I don’t give a shit either.” I winked.

–––––––––––––

Visiting Jack on tour wasn’t nearly as rowdy as most people would expect. They weren’t twenty-one-year-olds enjoying their rising fame by partying twenty-four-seven anymore. Yes, they still liked their fun and their drinks, but it wasn’t over excessive. I managed to avoid alcohol the entire time I was there. Well, except for one night. One dreadful night. Karaoke night.

You see, I didn’t sing. I would never do what Alex did and sing in front of large crowds. Quite simply, I didn’t want to do so and I wasn’t good enough to do it either. But I could hold a note. I was good enough to be one of the few people who didn’t suck at karaoke, but I could never be an actual singer. If I took some serious vocal coaching, I probably could have. But like I said before, I had no desire to do. I liked singing in the shower, that was it.

So, when the guys decided to go out to a karaoke bar, I was dragged into it. We had to be back by 4am to get on the bus and leave to the next venue, but that didn’t mean the guys didn’t want to go out. It was actually relatively late compared to other nights when we had to leave immediately after everything was packed up again.

At this karaoke bar, more than just a few drinks were poured. I managed to stay away from it at first. The first round bought by Alex was beer, which I got out of. My glass was replaced with a glass of coke. I also managed to miss out on the shots of tequila and a round of mixed drinks. While the boys were very understanding when sober (and when I say ‘understanding’, I mean they would eventually give in and let me have my way), they would be less so when the alcohol started flowing.

Jack had bought everybody a round a vodka shots. This time, however there was an extra glass and that glass came in my direction. I refused. I absolutely refused, but Jack just wiggled his eyebrows when took did his own. Even when they started chanting my name and got a few strangers to join in, I still stood my ground. But Jack wouldn’t give up. He was tempting me. At one point, I almost took it, but I stopped myself. It all went well until Jack picked up my shot and poured it into my glass of coke. He winked and convinced me that that one drink wouldn’t hurt over the rest of the night.

But he was wrong. Very wrong.

It must have been around 5am when things went downhill for me. At first, Jack had kept saying ‘I told you so’ when I got no headache and felt fine. But it was so different just an hour or so later. The bus was moving, shaking us lightly. I was pressed up against the wall in Jack’s bunk, Jack taking up most of the space beside me. My head was pounding when I woke up.

“Jack,” I groaned, trying to push him out of the way so I could get some more breathing space. It felt like I had a horse putting all it’s weight on my forehead. “Jack,” I repeated again when he didn’t budge.

“What,” he grumbled back and shifted like half an inch.

That’s when the pain got so bad that it started messing with my stomach. “I’m so nauseous.”

“You okay?” he asked, seemingly a bit more awake than before, but his voice still full of sleep.

Part of me wanted to cuddle up against him and bury my head into his neck to help with the pain, but another part of me wanted him to get as far away from me as possible. “This is your fault.”

“Do you want some painkillers?”

“No,” I told him despite the fact I actually most definitely wanted some, but something else was on my mind first. “I’m going to be sick.”

“Right now?” He was definitely awake now. This was a wakeup call. He started to shuffle out of the bunk.

“I can’t move.” I managed to breathe out while I was trying to keep everything down, clutching my head tightly. I really didn’t want to throw up all over Jack’s bunk. One, it was our sleeping place, and two it would be a bitch to clean up.

“Oh, shit,” he sighed and sat up, not leaving the bunk.

I wasn’t the only one who knew the severity of how bad this was. Last time this happened, I threw up all over Jack’s bedroom floor and passed out from my headache. He was afraid I was going to choke on my own vomit, but that didn’t even come close to happening. That time I had only had some wine with dinner.

“Umm, take this.” He pulled out a plastic bag he had in a small compartment at the end of his bunk. “Just in case.”

Just because I had that plastic bag, did not mean that I was immediately going to throw up. Jack ran his fingers through my hair, both to comfort me and to easily hold it back if needed. I concentrated on breathing so the worst wouldn’t happen. Honestly, I would do anything for it not to get to the point. It wasn’t that the alcohol made me throw up, it was my headache caused by the alcohol that made me nauseous.

“Maybe we should go to the back?” Jack suggested when he realised I was doing my best to stay composed. “You can look outside there, it might help.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to open my mouth to say anything. This time he did get out of his bunk, opening the curtain and revealing that all the lights were also off in the hallway. I was glad they were, I couldn’t imagine being able to stand light right at that moment. Jack waited for me to slowly crawl out. Just sitting up made my head spin.

“You go already, I’ll grab some water and painkillers.” He reached out to push the button to open the door to the back lounge and went in the opposite direction.

I somehow made it onto one of the couches while keeping my eyes nearly closed and holding tightly onto my head. The movement of sitting down nearly made me vomit, but I managed to stop it from happening. I sat with my legs up, looking out at the highway we were on. It was dark outside except for the occasional streetlight. The pain was so unbearable that tears involuntarily slipped out of my tear ducts.

“Here.” Jack handed me a water bottle and two pills before going back to his bunk and taking his pillow and duvet to the back lounge. He closed the door behind himself so we wouldn’t accidentally wake anybody up, which we surprisingly hadn’t done yet.

“Thanks,” I responded in a very shaky voice and downed some water to chase the painkillers.

Jack pushed another button that made the couch extend horizontally. He grabbed a throw blanket from a cupboard in the room and took it for himself while he gave me the bedding. “We’ll just sleep here tonight. I also brought some melatonin in case you aren’t able to sleep.”

I thanked him yet again and waited for him to lie down beside me. Once he got comfortable, one arm behind his head, I put my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised, wrapping and arm around me and trailing his fingers over my side. “I promise to never put alcohol in your drink again. If anything, I’ll keep you away from it.”

“I love you,” I whispered and accepted his apology. I couldn’t hold a grudge against him.

[cloudbattrolls]

GLIESE: Break into a seadweller hive.

This is the log so far of a roleplay @anontrolls​ and I have done on discord until now!

Summary: Having lost a coat to an alleyway stabbing Lee needs help breaking into his old house to retrieve more of his belongings. Gliese volunteers, which seems like a perfectly fun idea... until they run into the hive occupant.

You did not sufficiently think this through. 

Your ancestor's hive is largely underwater, true to traditional seadweller fashion. Your block has always been in the dry portion (much to your old man's disapproval) simply for the ease of keeping certain types of material items when waterproofing is not required, but the main entrance is deep enough underwater that Gliese's ears would pop out of her skull before she ever made it. 

Also true to fashion, the windows to your room are pretty high up. There's no way to get up the smooth marble walls without a significant boost, and you don't realize this until you are squinting up at said windows. 

"Ah," you start eloquently, "How do you feel about... seeing how high you can throw me?"

--

If Karina ever hears about this, she’ll rip your ears off and feed them to you.

Fortunately, you have the good taste required to not give a shit what she thinks unless you have to. You rescued Pheres that one time and got away with it; why should this be any different? 

Part of you whispers that this is a much bigger deal than just grabbing a maroon, at least in the Empire’s eyes, and that maybe messing with a very prominent violet when there’s no fleet to protect you might not be the smartest thing you’ve ever done. 

But like hell were you going to let Lee do it himself. 

Since it’d be unwise to give your usual snort, you roll your eyes at him from behind your mask. Not black - what is this, some cheesy movie? - but dark blue, and equipped with emergency breathing devices just in case god forbid you have to get wet for a bit. 

“Great idea, what trash can did you fish it out of?” You reply idly, only realizing the pun too late and sighing. “Lucky for you, I’ve got a better one.” 

You put on your rocket boots, a pair with silencers attached. You experimented with them earlier, and it isn’t perfect - they’re too loud for that - but it keeps them from causing a giant racket. Smirking slightly, you gesture for him to come closer. 

“Into my loving arms, Lee, time’s wasting.”

--

"Hey," you grumble, "It's not as though I go breaking into places very often, darling, I'm hardly bristling with a repertoire of larcenous plans - and most trolls would consider that a good thing."

"- But nice pun," you tack on, and do precisely nothing to stifle the smarmy smile. 

Her suggestion, on the other hand, does a much better job of that. You actually have no idea what she's suggesting - what, do her boots bounce? - but you're practically contractually obligated to jump into 'loving arms' when invited. 

So you do! "Oh, sweetheart," you declare, pretending to swoon into Gliese, "I thought you'd never ask!"

--

“Ooh, ‘larcenous plans’, huh? I don’t have those either, but I do have lots of useful life skills beyond radiating sparkles and fluttering my eyelashes.”

You smirk as you say it, though it morphs into a scowl as he smiles with insufferable smarm. Dick. Lee’s so light for his size that you almost stumble because you expect more resistance than you get; he feels as thin as you did before you joined fleet. Not that you’re bulky now by any stretch of the imagination, but you have more muscle and less bone showing than you did a sweep ago.

“Bite me.” You reply, before hitting them at the right angle to the ground to turn them on and rising into the air at a slow pace, then faster as you click them together. 

You slow as you reach Lee’s window, hovering up and down a few feet back and forth outside it (the boots aren’t really made for staying static).

“All right, fishnugget, what’s the best way to get in here without tripping alarms, if there are any?”

--

"The sparkles are largely photoshop, actually-" you start, lifting a finger, and promptly yelp, clutching at Gliese haphazardly and significantly more frantically than you were before she started raising the two of you into the air.

"Only if you ask nicely," you still manage to squeeze out, because the joke was already on the tip of your tongue before you were airborne. You're a mite too frazzled now to make another, which is a shame, because there's probably something to be said about the fact that you've gone and wrapped your legs around her waist in fear of falling off.

The breeze ruffling your hair about your face (you have to spit some out your mouth at one point that you're fairly sure was actually Gliese's) stills somewhat after a few moments, and you squeeze a single eye open when Gliese asks her question.

"My block," you gasp, and gesture very vaguely in the appropriate direction. "Turned off the window alarm ages ago. Bad for daycaps and shenanigans. Oh, goodness."

Okay, eyes closed again.

--

You snicker in a tone too low for him or most trolls (except you and Kit) to hear.

Only for a second; you focus on his words and your face slides back into seriousness. “You wish.” is your last, kinda lame response to this biting comment. At least he’s holding on tightly, because you’d be real fucking pissed if you had to go catch him.

Well, that’s reassuring. He sounds like he’s going to pass out.

“Guess I’m just gonna have to hope Fuckface Senior hasn’t turned it on again.” You retort.

If only you had one of those fancy devices that can detect security sensors, but you don’t exactly have that kind of resource anymore; the separatists have some tech, but they’re a lot more careful with how they dole it out.

Still, it’s worth the risk; any other route would be a huge pain in the ass and slow to boot. You zoom up to its edge and, very carefully, lower the speed enough to get yourself and Lee in but not lose all your lift.

Your knees are bent rather uncomfortably and you had to tilt your neck to avoid bashing your horns, but the two of you are inside now and you stand back up, boots off. The damn mask is making your face sweaty, though.

“Get off me and let’s get this done.”

--

The lock might be disabled, but the window is still shut, and it takes a bit of scrabbling on your part to get the window open enough for you and Gliese to tumble through - and tumble is absolutely what you do, releasing your death-grip on Gliese and practically sliding to the ground before she's through with her sentence. 

"Mnh," you moan into the carpet, spreading your arms until you're sufficiently certain of your full-body contact with solid ground. "Can we take the long way out? I fancy a swim after that, my dear."

Glancing up, you... are rather surprised to see that not much has changed since you left. You're not even sure your ancestor bothered to come in here after booting you out. Your clothes are still in half-disarray from your haphazard packing, and your keyboard is still right there, folded up with its stand and entirely prepared for you to grab it and run.

But, well. So long as you're here...

You snatch a rather larger bag than is required for this endeavor out of your sylladex, and start stuffing it with clothes and the rest of your belongings.

No sense in leaving more of your things behind if you don't have to! It's not as though Hiro doesn't have the closet space.

Besides, it's a good distraction from watching Gliese out of the corner of your eye, wondering what she thinks of the one place you've ever really considered your own space. It's a weird sort of vulnerability, to have someone in here - even your, uh, recreational guests, you usually took to some other room. No need for a one-day stand to screw up your record collection.

--

“Sure, whatever.” You reply in a low tone, not really caring one way or the other. You can’t say swimming is your favorite activity - water’s so damn cold - but you came prepared. You just hope the pair of you have that luxury and don’t leave chased by security droids.

Place is quiet as a burial mound so far, though, not that you trust it. Your ears are pricked for the slightest sound that’s not the pair of you. The room itself is…pretty typical for a fish who spends most of his time being a social butterfly, you guess. You’re kind of surprised it’s not more glitzy. Soft snickering escapes when you see giant posters of himself.

“Wow, Lee, didn’t take you as the egotistical type. Guess you proved me wrong.”

Then you notice the vanity, and your brow furrows. Is that a quad? It’s none of your business, really, but you can’t help wondering. Lee didn’t strike you as the type to quad any lower than teal, but who knows.

“Nice records, though.” You admit. You loved antiques when you were a kid; you can tell he’s got some rare stuff in there.

--

You blink, staring at Gliese for a moment. 'Not egotistical.' It takes you a spot longer than it should to put together a response.

"Me?" you ask. "Not shallow enough to put posters of myself up? Goodness, darling, where have you been living?"

You perk up when she compliments your music collection, though. "Hey, thanks," you say, grinning, "I'd offer a listen, but, ah, as unlikely as it is, I'm not actually entirely certain the old man isn't home, and it's best not to risk the noise, I think. It's a pity I'm leaving most of them here, though - I suppose that means you're free to whatever catches your fancy. Leastways they won't be rotting in here or sold off."

The thought is frankly actually seriously depressing, and you go back to speedily sorting through your clothing to distract yourself. Sweeps spent collecting, and it's all gone to shit, now. And the records are the absolute least of it.

--

“Somewhere I’d barely heard of you before you became scandalous.” You retort, then regret it slightly. You grimace, flicking your ears.

“Not that I care about that. You’re fine, if a fucking dweeb, all that junk is ridiculous anyway.”

Nice save, Benral. He probably won’t be too hurt and if he is, whatever, it’s not your problem.

He looks so stupidly happy you half want to punch the dumb grin off his face. The two of you are breaking in, even if it’s technically his place. You have to stay on guard.

“Yeah, no. We need to get in and out.” You pause to listen. Nothing, you think, except the distant ocean. It’s weird how low-security the place is.

You look at Lee’s records, but only one stands out to you. Its label has a faded troll curled up in a blue rose.

“Huh. Flower Fellow.” You muse, then tentatively reach out. Should you, even if Lee said it’s all right? Well. He has a point about it rotting in here. The thought saddens you, for some stupid reason, and your expression darkens. You take it very carefully and put it in your sylladex.

“Thanks.” You say, a bit uncertainly. Ugh, you’re probably making too big of a deal out of this.

You watch him go through clothing, curious despite yourself.

“So you really like being a model? Or was that just for the cameras.”

--

You can feel the corners of your mouth turning down almost entirely against your will, and turn away from Gliese to fiddle with the sleeve of a dress shirt. Have you brought anything with you that matches this shade off off-white, or do you have to stick with your minimalist neutrals?

"Well," you murmur, "I appreciate the stamp of approval."

If not the accompanying declaration that the things you care about are ridiculous junk. 

Well, not all the things you care about. She's here helping you pick up your stuff, isn't she? And you've retrieved quite the collection already, even without considering your keyboard. It's time to start stuffing it into your sylladex.

Gliese seems to have the same idea, because you watch her pocket a record, as gingerly as you've ever seen her do anything. She glances back at you as she does, very nearly looking worried, and you grin encouragingly. You're happy she'll be able to take something from this for herself.

Her question, though, you're not sure how to answer with any level of expediency.

"Sort of?" you try. "I mean, it's like anything you do, really, isn't it? One likes certain aspects and dislikes others! I enjoy being a model, of course, and it certainly is the perfect occupation for someone whose primary skills in life pretty much amount to being pretty and - well, I'd say posing well, but half the time you're getting moved around like a doll anyways."

"That's the part that's always a little odd," you admit. "I'm sure it's the same for everyone else at the casting calls, too, but it's still somewhat disconcerting when people forget you're a person and not a figurine."

You once walked into a photoshoot, one you'd already been signed for, with a rather well-known photographer. You hadn't had time to change, yet, but she had just flung some - you don't even remember what it was, some sort of faux-leather thing patterned after snake scales, and told you to strip right there in front of the whole crew.

And when you'd gotten topless, laughing airily as your fingers stumbled over the buttons of your shirt, she finally looked at you for the second time as though just remembering you presence, and practically barked a laugh. 'No,' she said, 'That's not going to work.'

And she walked out the door.

And that was that. You were too stunned to cry about it. You didn't even get paid.

You are not going to tell Gliese that story.

--

Damn it. How do you fix this? Should you even try before you make it worse? Ugh. He’s clearly upset and you’re not sure why.

“I mean-“ you start and then stop, biting your lip. You hate this. “I mean...you’re fine, Lee, because you’re not...things people say can fucking hurt, but you’re better than all that. You’re...a good guy.”

Please let that be right. You look weak and stupid right now and it fucking sucks. You turn away from him so he doesn’t have to see your blue face.

But you listen with your long ears as you look at the rest of his stuff. It’s nice, though obviously it would be, he’s violet. It must have been hard to leave this all behind.

He’ll deal, you remind yourself. You did when you joined fleet. What he says makes you manage to turn back around, face curious and ears tilted quizzically.

“Like what? Do people push you around or something? Who’d even try that on a seadweller.” You say, snorting. Lee may be a weenie, but he’s still violet. Pushing him too far would still be a mistake for anyone lower than you.

--

You bite your lip to stifle a totally inappropriate smile. Gliese is really trying, and, okay, watching her drag the words out like she's navigating an eggshell obstacle course is a tad bit hilarious. It's like someone that just realized they've been insulting the sweets at a gala to the confectioner's face and is trying to save face.

You glance back out of the side of your eye, and she's turned away - but that doesn't stop you seeing that Gliese is blue to the tips of her ears.

Aw, you can't even be miffed anymore. You sidle over and elbow her gently.

"Don't hurt yourself," you tell her sweetly, and then dart away laughing, almost expecting her to jokingly swipe at you - but that's just the echo of Thistle's shadow in your mind.

Then she asks about the modeling thing, and you're back to trying to figure out what kind of go you're going to take on the subject. "Well, no," you admit, "It's hardly as though I get shoved around, or anything! There's simply a certain... perception, I suppose, or perhaps a lack thereof. The photographers and designers are...artistes-" You nearly snicker. "- And utterly beyond the concerns of such things as remembering who they're dressing or posing is not quite a mannequin, you know? As in, stylists pulling hair out, or photographers literally moving you around bodily, etcetera."

"- And not all of them, of course!" you're quick to qualify, because, well, yeah, you do (did?) actually have non-model friends in this industry.

[michietuts]

How to Remove Logos in Photoshop

If you want to know how to remove pesky channel logos from your live performance gifs, This is the tutorial for you. You can also use the methods shared in this tutorial for removing captions. This will show you two ways to remove unwanted text from your gifs: Blurring and using Content-Aware Fill

You will need:

Photoshop with Timeline

*WARNING: PICTURE/GIF HEAVY*

*Note: removing the logos combined with good coloring makes the logo less noticeable. I always remove logos before I sharpen, denoise, color, etc*

First Method - Blurring the Logo:

This method is really easy and straightforward. Blurring the sharp logos help make them look less noticeable

I will be blurring the channel logos on this gif scene of Hanbin

Step 1: Convert To Video Timeline- 

For the first method you must be in Video Timeline mode. The picture above shows the steps to convert your frame animation to video timeline. Once your animation is a smart object you need to duplicate it; this will be your blurred layer. Because the bottom logo pops on later, I duplicated the smart object again, so I can blur this layer separately

Step 2: Select The Logo-

Select the logo by using the rectangular marquee tool or lasso tool then press the “Add layer mask” button (as shown in the gif above). After you make the layer mask, click on the layer thumbnail to select it so that you can blur the image and not the mask

Step 3: Blur-

Go to Filter>Blur>Gaussian Blur and change the radius setting until the logo is blurred to your liking

Step 4: Trim Duration of Blur-

If you have a logo that is temporarily on the screen you may want to trim the duration of the blur. Since the bottom logo showed up later, I repeated steps 1-3 and dragged the end of the video timeline layer to the time that the bottom logo appears 

This is the result 

Second Method - Using a Content-Aware Fill script:

Unlike blurring, with content-aware fill you never know exactly what the result will look like. With content-aware fill, Photoshop fills in a selection with random parts of the image in close proximity to the selection. Because the algorithm is random, each time you run this script it will produce a different result

This method works best for scenes that do not have a lot of detail near the logo (e.g., gradients, solid colors, blurriness, etc.) and/or small logos

*Note: This method was tested on PS CC 2014 & 2017 previous versions might not work. Also, I noticed that 2017 did a better job at removing the logo. I recommend using a newer version of PS for this method* 

I will be removing the “Seventeen” text from this gif scene of Wonwoo. Sorry for the quality... inkigayo ain’t shit

*You will need to download the .jsx Photoshop script file from this folder*

Step 1: Install Script-

You don’t have to install the script, but if you want it to show up in the file menu for easy access instead of browsing for it, copy the file to C:\Program Files\Adobe\[your version of ps]\Presets\Scripts

Step 2: Convert To Frame Animation-

For the first method you must be in Frame Animation mode. The picture above shows the steps to convert video timeline to frame animation

Step 3: Make Selection and Save Current State-

As I mentioned before, Content-Aware Fill is unpredictable, so you may have to run the script more than once to get the result you desire. The only problem is you can only press Ctrl+Z so many times, and by default PS only stores 50 history states. If you have more than 49 frames being processed, you will not be able to return to the state your animation was in before you ran the script. The solution is to make a snapshot of the current state before you run the script

Delete the frames you do not need, make your selection with a marquee tool or lasso tool, and then open the history window and click the camera icon to save the current history state. No matter how many frames the script processes, you can always click on “Snapshot 1” to restore the state before the script was ran

Step 4: Run the Script-

Start the script by clicking the menu item or browse for where you have saved it. The script will pop up 3 prompts: 

The first asks you to verify that you are in frame animation mode and you have selected the logo

The second asks what frames you want to process. You enter this in a,b format. For example, If you only want to remove the logo on frames 1 through 10, you would enter 1,10. If you want to process all frames just press ENTER on the keyboard

The third asks if you want to use color adaptation (color adaptation is not available for PS versions older than PS CC 14). If you enter ‘y’, Photoshop will attempt to blend the fill with the surrounding colors more. Sometimes it looks better sometimes it doesn’t. Test it to see if you like using it

...or you could just press enter a bunch of times until the prompts go away

This is optional, but sometimes after the script runs, you may want to use the spot healing brush tool to fix some errors content-aware made

This is the result. Here, content-aware fill does a pretty decent job because the background is a gradient and his hair does not have much detail due to the trash source quality.

In this example you can clearly see... the Content-Aware script is not flawless. If you look closely, you can see that Bobby’s mouth ended up on his neck sjkjskjsk. To fix this problem, You can make a different selection and run the script again hoping that you get good results, use the healing brush tool, or give up like me and just blur it instead.

I have put a .zip folder with psds of the un-altered gif frames of Hanbin and Wonwoo in my Tutorial Resource Folder. You may use them for practice or whatever you please

I hope this tutorial helped you in some way. Feel free to ask me any questions or request any tutorials. Have fun gif making!

[minervamagicka]

CC Creator Question Tag

I was on a CC bender and saw the talented @murfeelee doing this, and of course, I think it’s bloody fantastic, so here are my answers. It was actually pretty fun to do, all things considered.

Under a read-me so I don’t bomb some dashboards with long paragraphs.

1. What was the hardest project you’ve worked on so far?

Honestly, the Wrench CC I released a while back. This was mainly because no pre-ripped models from Watch_Dogs 2 exist, which meant I had to export models from my own copy of the game. Now, normally, this isn’t an awful fate or particularly hard for me to have to do, but for the love of God, Ubisoft makes it HARD to sift through their game files. That was probably the hardest part of making that set, mainly because I couldn’t find the poor guy’s textures and spent way too long having to blindly search through W_D2′s files.

  2. How long have you been creating cc?

Eh, I don’t know, 2016? 2015? I did private recolours and such earlier but I really got into the heavy stuff when The Witcher 3 came out and I wanted to start converting clothing, which is how my earlier abominations came about when I started heavily experimenting with meshes and rigging. I’ve done stuff in Garry’s Mod previously -- Damn it, Valve, I want to learn how to rig for Source but it’s TOO HARD -- involving .obj files and the like so I had some prior knowledge of modelling programs, but little knowledge of how to apply it to the Sims 3. A lot of my education was trial and error.

3. What’s your most favourite thing you’ve created?

GARRUS.

Call me the staples button because that was easy to determine. I don’t even know why I decided to start working on that project, I think it was a mix of fascination and hard-on for Mass Effect at the time, and also to see if it was possible with how I understood the Sims 3′s functions. And, well, it was! It was also so different than other CC I had seen coming out, and involved a beloved character... Perfect storm for me to be proud.

4. What’s your most hated thing you’ve created?

As cliche as it sounds, I really don’t like the job I did on Triss’ outfit from the Witcher 3, which was my first piece of CC on this Tumblr. I am 100% going to go back and re-do that (And more) just to make up for how trash I think I handled that outfit, to bring it up to my current standard of quality. In fact, I might start on that now.

5. What inspires you to create?

Honestly? Lack of what I wanted. Unless I’ve received a request for something, 100% of the time, when I release something, it’s because I wanted it in my game. Also that I want my fandom OCs to be dressed properly in clothes from their universes, damn it.

6. What gets you unmotivated to do anything or to delete your project?

When I hit a roadblock I can’t overcome no matter what I try. I generally have ‘systems’ I can run myself through when making CC, especially conversions -- ‘Oh, that doesn’t work? Cool, I’ll just try this..’. -- But when that fails too that’s when I’m like ‘Welp, time for a work-around to the work-around!’ and by that, I usually mean finding an alternative means of getting the effect I want.

7. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do/do better?

Making actual sims. Most of the time I’m pretty insecure/worried about how my Sims stack up to others, and tend to overcompensate for that by decking them out in custom CC that makes them speshul.

8. How long does it usually take you to make something?

That sort of depends. If I want it, and I want it now? I can have an outfit in-game in 3 or so hours, and that’s working nonstop on it. That doesn’t necessarily guarantee it being perfect the first time around, but I’ve streamlined my outfit conversion process down to the point it takes me no time at all.

9. Is there a certain schedule you stick to when publishing?

Seeing as this blog was literally dead for half a year because I didn’t want to put anything out... No, not really. Whenever it’s done.

10. Your favorite programs to work with?

I would be lost without Blender. Seriously. Without Blender I’d be screwed. Milkshape and Photoshop take a close second as I use all three at once in my creation process.

11. Who do you look up to (creator wise)?

@kurasoberina was always an inspiration, but I think a lot of people can say that :^)

12. How many projects do you have at the moment?

Good joke, kid. Uhhhh. Currently, I would classify my crusade to convert Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate objects and clothing to be my project, and there are various subprojects under that -- Assassin attire, Victorian-era attire/props & then the attire and props from the hidden WW1 segment of the game. Right now, focused more on the Assassin attire and the WW1 objects because that’s where my OC is, lmao.

13. Screenshot your wips folder (if you have one)

Take me out to dinner, first.

Yes, the New Folder thing is real. Yes, I actually use that as an organizational system. Yes, it works for me. It’s best not to ask how or why. The name of my WIP folder is funnier, tbh.

14. Do you plan on creating for a long time or is there a certain period you know you’ll stop?

I don’t see myself stopping until it becomes completely unviable to do, I.E. TS3 becomes too outdated or something. Maybe my public releases will slow down -- Hell, they already have, but I still want nice clothes in my game.

15. What helps you keep focus during your creating process?

I have Spotify character playlists that I listen to when I’m doing conversions for a particular character -- I.E. I listened to Ayessa’s playlist whilst doing her outfit. Or I throw on Netflix. Actually, weird as it sounds, when I really want to focus I put an episode of Ghost Adventures on, because watching 3 surfer dudes yell at the Devil is surprisingly helpful.

Not sure how many CC creators follow me, but I’d love to see any of you guys give this a try too. Could be fun.

[yehet-me-up]

Temptation

Pairing: Lay/Zhang Yixing x reader (female)

Rating: (M) for swearing and explicit sex

Word Count: 13,475

Summary: Cursing yourself for not majoring in something more practical, you struggle to find work after graduation. On the recommendation of a friend you finally take a temporary job working at Sinful, the chocolate store in the mall, for the Valentine’s Day season. 

You think that the name is perfectly suited to the man who runs it, Yixing. Sensual, talented, and creative, you can’t wait to get to work everyday to see him. You chastise yourself for having these feelings about your boss, but don’t seem to be able to stop. When the season ends he surprises you both, deciding that he wants to keep you in his life, as more than just an employee.

Part two of the Exodus Mall series! (Can be read independently, but you’ll get some extra backstory if you read the other parts first!)

January 15th, 1997

You close the car door behind you with your back, trying to simultaneously wrap your coat around you to ward off the cold, hold the folder containing your resume under your arm, and put your keys into your purse. A cold wind whips past you, knocking you back against the car and you instinctively hold onto your coat and your purse, the folder falling out of your grip and into a puddle. 

“Fuck,” you say to yourself with a laugh. You sling your purse over your shoulder and regard the folder as you try to figure out what to do next.

“Let me get that for you,” a melodic voice says across from you.

Looking up you see a man bend down and extract the folder, holding it out as it drips icy water. He stands up and you jolt when you take in just how gorgeous he is. White button-down shirt, black dress pants; a warm looking long black trench coat. Deep brown hair, blown across his forehead by the wind, wide dark eyes dancing with laughter. A dimple appears in his cheek as he smiles sympathetically at you.

“Maybe it’s a lost cause?” he asks and you break into a grin.

You shrug and laugh. “I guess you’re right. Thanks for trying though,” you say and he walks over to the nearby trash can and throws it away. He returns, running a hand through his hair to brush it out of his face. “Was it anything important?” he asks, humor still lighting his expression.

“It was a resume for a job I’m applying for this morning,” you say, glancing back at the mall before looking down at your watch. 8:57am. You’d wanted to get there nice and early so you’d have time to talk to your friend who owns the bookstore first. She’d recommended you for the job at Sinful, the chocolate shop inside Exodus Mall, and you wanted to ask for advice about what the owner is like and what he’s looking for before you head in.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Oh? Where at?”

“The chocolate shop. It’s called Sinful,” you answer, nodding toward the main mall entrance.

His eyes widen momentarily and then he gives you a lopsided smile. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I know the owner and he’s pretty easygoing,” he says with a wink.    

“Really? That’s great to know, thank you,” you say, uncharacteristically flustered by his flirtation.

“No worries,” he says. “Well, I’ll see you around. I hope you get the job,” he says with a wry grin and moves past you to head into the mall.

“Thanks,” you say as he walks away. You can’t help but admire his profile as he approaches the entrance. He steps through the doors and a sharp wind blows past you. You shiver and fold your arms in your coat again, quickly gathering it about you and dashing into the mall, out of the wind.

Reassured by what the man said, you decide to skip going to see your friend. With your varied work experience and personality, not to mention her recommendation, you feel confident you’ll make a good impression.

Stepping inside, you head into the bathroom to double check your reflection, ensuring that your dress and leggings are still in place and that your make up stayed put. Satisfied, you head out into the mall. Things are just coming to life, most stores are open by now and jazz plays soothingly over the mall’s speakers. You turn toward the chocolate shop, gazing hungrily at the delectable looking creations on display.

You’re impressed at the varied selections, much more than the usual milk or dark chocolate. A platter of strawberries are dipped in chocolate and topped with what looks like honeycomb crumbles. 3D shapes created out of hardened chocolate adorn white chocolate truffles. Squares of fudge feature red sugar hearts that looks like glass. Small squares of chocolate are painted with what looks like watercolor patterns, the colors swirling together.

Even though it’s a month off, there’s a big Valentine’s display, a sign mentioning pre-orders. Hmm, that’s a smart idea you think appreciatively. The owner must be pretty savvy. You walk inside. The small shop is well laid out, with a long glass top counter forming an L-shape to the right. A floor to ceiling shelving system is on the left, each cubby filled with gift boxes in varying colors. Behind the glass counters you see a doorway leading to the kitchen, gleaming appliances visible, waiting to be used for the day.

You can hear someone moving things around in the back room. You brush your hair behind your left ear, smiling to yourself as you recognize your old nervous habit. It’s been a while since anything made you anxious and you welcome the feeling; you always did like fresh starts.

“Excuse me?” you call politely, leaning your head over to peek into the room.

A dark haired man has his back to you, tying a white apron over a white shirt and black pants. At your question he turns around, a knowing smile already on his face, a dimple appearing in his cheek. You click your tongue, laughing to yourself. It’s the man from the parking lot. Know the owner, my ass, you think. He walks out and gives you an ironic smile.

“Long time no see,” he says and you laugh. “Come on back and we can get started with the interview.”

He takes your coat and purse and sets them on the small desk in his tiny office off the back room. The interview goes quickly; it seems your friend already filled him in on your experience when she persuaded him to give you an interview. He goes over the job duties and asks you a few questions about whether or not you have experience with different things.

Twenty minutes later he says he’ll review some things and call you as soon as he decides. You walk straight over to the bookstore and drop your palms onto the counter, startling your friend as she sets a stack of books down. She turns around and takes in your shaken expression. “Don’t tell me the interview went that bad?” she asks, coming over to you.

You sputter. “No – the interview went just fine. But why didn’t you warn me that he’s absolutely gorgeous?” you demand. She blinks and her attention is immediately drawn across the mall to the record store. “Ah, right. Your attention is a little tied up these days,” you say, teasing. She’s been hopelessly in love with its owner for years but refuses to say anything, much to your chagrin.

She waves a hand at you dismissively. “Anyway, tell me how it went, did he offer you a job?”

“Not yet,” you say with a sigh. “He said he had to consider some things and that he’d call me soon to let me know.” You fill her in on the specifics of what was said and then head home, leaving her to the running of her fantastic bookstore.

You walk in the door to your apartment a short while later. The phone is ringing when you push it open. Dropping your bag on the floor, you dash over to answer it. “Hello?” you say into the receiver.

“Hi, is this Y/N?” a melodic voice asks. Ah, the dangerously good looking Yixing then.

“Yes it is,” you reply, fighting the urge to sass him that it’s obviously you.

“It’s Yixing. Well, if you’re up for it I’d love to offer you a job. Just through the first of March for certain, but we can revisit once that gets close to see where things stand. What do you say?” he asks and you wonder if he actually sounds flustered or if it’s just your imagination.

“Sounds great, I’m in,” you say, excitement leaking it your voice. Six weeks of solid employment, thank the gods. Scratch that, thank your friend from the bookstore for suggesting this.

“Perfect, let’s go over the details,” he says. Ten minutes later it’s all set - the pay rate, the hours, dress code, everything. It’s decided that you’ll start next Monday. As soon as you hang up you do a little happy dance, grinning from ear to ear, and pour yourself a glass of wine to celebrate.

January 19th, 1997

You sit in your car, patiently waiting for it to be 8:55, not wanting to awkwardly be too early on your first day. Drumming your fingers on the steering wheel you think of how easy it was to leave the temp agency. A quick phone call to let them know you got another job and that Friday would be your last day, apologizing for the short notice.

“No problem. Please report your hours as usual for tomorrow and we will mail out your final paycheck once the site verifies the hours. Reach out to us if you ever need employment again, have a nice day,” the almost robotic female voice of the dispatcher said before abruptly hanging up.

You’d shrugged, thankful for the lack of drama, and then proceeded to spend the weekend on your main passion in life: art. Painting, sketching with charcoal, messing around with Photoshop 4 on your secondhand desktop; you weren’t picky.

Y/N will take any chance to make the world more beautiful, that’s what your best friend always said about you, with a smile on her face. You’d met during your freshman year, her junior year, at a liberal arts mixer, bonding over a hilariously self-important English professor who taught a required class you were taking to fulfill your general education credits. A waste of time and a distraction from your art, you thought. Regardless, as an Art major and an English major specializing in the Romantic poets, you found kindred spirits in each other and you became inseparable.

While she worked her ass off through college to pay tuition, and later to save up money for what would become the bookstore, you’d taken a much more leisurely path. After winning several local and national art competitions for your mixed media creations and your paintings, you were a shoe-in for the local University’s art scholarship. You spent four years blissfully lost in the world of art, taking a wide variety of classes, gaining experience doing projects for a local independent magazine.

Other students worried about the “real world” and logical, normal people things like bills and careers. All you cared about was the colored pencil in your hand and the minutes left you had to capture your subject before the light changed. You sigh and rest your elbow against the door, leaning your head onto your hand. Those were the good days, you think nostalgically.

Now, all these years later, she was running a successful bookshop and you were spinning your wheels. You’d bounced around – six months interning in graphic design for an ad agency during your junior year, six months as a receptionist at an art museum owned by a friend of your father’s during senior year. And you’d spent most of the last year at a little café that served coffee and pastries, reluctantly turning to temp work after they closed down.

But nothing had stuck. The vague feeling that something was missing perpetually drove you to seek something else. And look where it had gotten you – a miserable few months of temping, being shuffled from assignment to assignment like cattle in the stockyard. But, as you remind yourself, for six glorious weeks you’ll have firm footing. You smile to yourself, excited to get started. Checking your watch you see it’s finally time to go in.

When you arrive an older woman with a graying bun of hair and a kind smile is waiting for you at the front door. She takes you through the gate into the store. She shows you where to put your stuff in the back. Her name is Peggy, she tells you in a cheerful tone, in between asking you a thousand questions about yourself before you can catch your breath.

Yixing walks in a minute before the clock hits nine, unlocking the gate and sliding it open. He gives you a warm hello before heading into the back room to hang up his coat, motioning for you to follow him. Peggy takes her place at the register, straightening things up as she waits for the first customers of the day. 

The morning passes in a blur of paperwork and policies as Yixing shows you around. He says you’ll work the register and the counter until you feel comfortable and then he’ll start showing you the process of making and packing the chocolates.

Yixing goes to work making the day’s batches in the back and you train with Peggy for the rest of the afternoon. She chatters on happily, reminding you of your own grandmother with her affectionate pats on the arm and easy ability to draw you into conversation. She tells you how she came to work there after a miserably boring few months of retirement, wanting something to fill her days.

The other full time staff member, a young woman with a shock of neon blue hair and a spike through the top of one ear named Vera, comes in for the closing shift. Despite the studded jacket and shit-kicker boots she wears, you learn quickly that she’s basically a pocket-sized ball of energy. 

She happily discusses the next tattoo she wants to get with you and Peggy while she restocks the cases. You love the designs she has so far, and she grins ear to ear when you compliment them.

The day flies by and you get into a groove. The register is simple enough, you used one just like during your year at the café. Your natural curiosity and openness lends itself perfectly to customer service and many happy customers smile genuinely as they leave the store. 

After a busy, full day you head home satisfied.

January 26th, 1997

The mall is almost deserted this time of day – two in the afternoon on a Monday. You sit in a chair in the food court, feet propped up on an opposite chair, a sketchbook stretched out across your legs. You switch charcoals, hand moving rapidly as you try to capture the image in your mind. Warm eyes, elegant neck, perpetually ruffled hair, hands in motion as he mixes up a batch.

Taking a quick look around, you make sure there’s no one nearby to see what you’re drawing. You lasted exactly a week before you couldn’t take it anymore, and finally drew Yixing. Desperate to capture his expression, frustrated you can’t nail it just right, you flip to the next page to try again.

“Your technique is incredible,” a gentle female voice says from above you. Whipping your head up you see a girl dressed in a conservative black dress and heels, her purse slung over her shoulder.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she says nervously, waving her hands and backing up a step. “I’m just – I’m an artist too. Well, sort of, I make jewelry. I love your style and I wanted to tell you,” she finishes, red in the cheeks.

You drop your feet to the floor and put the sketchpad on the table next to you, your breath slowing from the shock. For a moment you’d thought it was Peggy, but they don’t sound anything alike in hindsight.

“Oh, no worries. I just thought you were someone else for a moment and I almost had a heart attack,” you say with a laugh. You motion to the seat opposite with you and she joins you with a sweet smile. “And what are you talking about? Of course, jewelry is art. Anything that adds to the beauty of the world counts as art in my book,” you continue insistently.

She laughs at your enthusiasm. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

You introduce yourselves to each other and you find out that she also just started at the mall, working at the jewelry store across the way. Lunch passes by quickly as you get lost in conversation, delighted to talk about art with a fellow creator. She keeps darting glances over your shoulder, in the direction of the food court.

You lean forward conspiratorially, raising an eyebrow. “What do you keep looking at?”

With a sly smile that seems wholly at odds with her professional appearance, she says, “I’ll tell you, if you’ll tell me who the gorgeous man is that you were drawing.”

You let out a laugh. “Fair is fair,” you sigh. “It’s my boss at Sinful, Yixing. He is handsome isn’t he? You should see him pouring chocolate, it’s downright pornographic,” you say and she giggles. “I thought you were one of my co-workers when you spoke to me.”

She casts another furtive glance behind you and sighs. “All right, one of the owners of the pizza parlor is my ex. I haven’t seen him in forever. I didn’t know he worked here when I took this job. I’ve been nervous about running into him,” she says, looking down at her hands.

“Well one thing’s for sure, there’s no shortage of drama here in this mall,” you say, blowing out a breath, and she nods in agreement. Soon you both finish your lunches and head to back work, happy that you made what’s sure to be another friend here.

February 10th, 1997

On his way through the mall to the bank to make a deposit and buy change, Yixing spots you in the food court. He’s been wondering what you do for lunch and he’s surprised to see you leaned back in a chair, your feet up on an adjacent chair, a sketchpad resting on your knees. He thinks about coming closer, seeing what you’re creating with the brightly colored pencils spread out on the table next to you, but he doesn’t want to disturb you.

While he can’t see what you’re drawing, he can see your face as he walks by. With a smile he thinks your face in and of itself is art. Your hair pulled out of your face, eyes racing across the page as you draw. You lean back for a moment, tilting your head to appraise what you’ve made, absently biting on your lip.

With his gaze fixated on you he isn’t watching where he’s going. With a thump he smacks into someone coming the opposite way, dropping the deposit bag.

“You all right man?” Jongin says with a laugh, dramatically rubbing his shoulder with an exaggerated wince.

Yixing shakes his head with a rueful laugh, reaching out briefly to pound fists with Jongin in greeting. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I was uhh, distracted,” he says with a grin, glancing back to you.

Jongin looks over to you in the food court and lets out a whistle. “That sure is some distraction,” he says and jokingly pushes Yixing’s shoulder in retaliation.

Yixing bends down to pick up the bag, running his hand along his neck with a sigh. “Tell me about it,” he says. “See you around man.”

Jongin gives him a mock salute with a sardonic smile. “See you.”

When he returns from the bank you’re just finishing up lunch, hanging up your coat and putting your sketchbook and pencils back in your large tote bag. You look over and give him a warm smile.

“So any chance you’d be willing to show me what you were working on?” he says with a quirk of an eyebrow.

You jolt, fingers clenching protectively around the book. He laughs. “I saw you drawing on my way to the bank, I promise I haven’t been spying.”

You breathe out a sigh of relief. “Good. If you were I’d have to kill you,” you joke. “Hmm, let me find something,” you say and he pretends to lean over. You give him a fierce look and he throws his hands up, taking a step back.

The piece you were finishing on lunch is part of a larger series you’ve been exploring. Lush, colorful floral designs overlaid with stark black geometric designs. You weren’t sure where you were going with it when you started, but after five finished designs, you’re pretty pleased with the results.

You find the first one, three brilliant photorealistic red roses overlaid with large and small overlapping circular patterns. Handing the sketchpad to him, his eyes run across the page, appraising.

He doesn’t immediately give praise and you like him even more for it. So often friends of yours clap and announce that they love it without really taking a look. It’s sweet, and you know they just want to support you, but from someone as talented in his own right as Yixing, you’re dying to know his true opinion.

After a beat he reaches out a hand and flips to the next page. A cluster of peonies in various shades of pink covered with interlocking triangles. Next comes a deep pink orchid with winding lines around the borders. A royal blue string of bluebells and a loose pattern of repeating dots and diamonds. Last is your favorite – sprigs of lavender wrapped in a pattern of star shapes.

He lifts his hand to turn the next page and before you can stop him he flips it over. Your eyes go wide and your heart feels like it’s stopped beating. Before starting on this series you’d finally finished a portrait of him that felt perfect, capturing him exactly as you like him best – sensual hands mixing a bowl of chocolate. His warm, expressive eyes observing his process, a contented smile on his face revealing his dimple. You react instinctively, grabbing the sketchpad to try and pry it out from underneath his stunned gaze.

“Wait,” he says, maintaining his grip. His eyes lift to meet yours, something stirring in the depths that you can’t name. “You drew me? Is this how you see me?” he asks in a low voice.

You know how it looks, know that he sees right through the piece. There are portraits you draw of friends, family – happy pieces alight with affection. There are the portraits you draw of strangers, at a street fair or for commission – technically and stylistically precise, but lacking the sense of feeling that comes from drawing someone you know well. And then there are other portraits, the kind you draw of lovers. Where your every emotion is sprawled across the page, desire radiating from every curve and line.

Unfortunately, you realize in a rush as you look at the drawing, this is clearly the latter.

You open your mouth to speak but close it immediately. What words can you offer that would explain this away? Instead you just nod silently, meeting his stare.

With a cough, he flips back to the last design, the one of the lavender. “I’ve been coming up with some early new recipes for our Mother’s Day collection this year. These designs would be perfect for the boxes, would you be open to discussing a collaboration? I’d love to see what they might look like with gold accents instead of black, if you’re open to it?”

“Really?” you ask, grateful that he didn’t pry into the drawing. “I mean – yes. Yes, that would be incredible,” you say.

He leads you back to the tiny office to discuss plans, a welcome break from the frantic Valentine’s Day preparations you both started on this morning.

February 12th, 1997

Strong hands slide along your waist, brushing up and under your shirt. Your skin feels heavy, aware, as if it’s desperately trying to hold onto his touch. His head bends, his lips trailing up your shoulder to your neck. You moan softly, arching your back as you push further into his skilled hands. You’ve watched them for weeks. Mixing chocolate, carefully adding decorations with precision.

For weeks you’d fantasized about having those skilled hands on your body, desperate to know the ways in which they could mold you beneath their meticulous attention. His finger traces the underside of your breast as his full lips tease your jaw. Desperate to feel those lips on yours, finally, you reach a hand around his neck and pull him close, leaning in to -

A shrill buzzing sound jolts you awake. You instinctively reach over to turn off your alarm clock. You throw your arm over your eyes to block out the sunlight. It feels as though you’re emerging from the depths, pulled from the world of your dream harshly into reality.

You gulp in big breaths of air, your body still desperately clinging to what had been about to happen, as if it could conjure Yixing just by sheer force of will. Skin buzzing with arousal, breasts heavy; a pool of wetness at your core.

When your breath slows, you shake your head and cover your face with your hands, laughing to yourself. For days, weeks if you were honest, you’d been fantasizing about what Yixing would be like as a lover, surreptitiously watching him as you worked together.

Would he be gentle, the type to steadily thrust in and out, building your orgasm slowly? Kissing down your body, teasing and tasting before getting down to business. Maybe he had a rough side, the type to set a brutal pace, holding your hips in place, slamming into you until you screamed his name.

You bite your lip, moaning softly to yourself at the images flashing through your mind. All that wondering and sexual frustration had seeped from your waking thoughts into your dreams. You huff out a laugh.

You glance over at the clock, mentally hugging yourself for always setting your alarm for at least ten minutes before you needed to get up. Stretching out, you slide your hands down your body, closing your eyes and trying to recall where your dream was headed before it was so rudely interrupted. It’s not quite as good as the real thing would have been, but you’ll happily make do with your own two hands for the time being.

February 13th, 1997

The day before Valentine’s Day is a full-blown strategic undertaking. Peggy shuts the gate at eight o’clock and works on the normal closing duties while you, Vera, and Yixing are working hard in the back. Mixing batches, laying out molds, popping the set chocolates from this afternoon’s batches out and neatly arranging them into gift boxes, waiting for Yixing to add the finishing touches.

The pre-orders that Yixing had been taking the past few weeks were stacked on neat slips on the counter; dozens and dozens of neatly written pieces of paper that were slowly being worked through.

After closing Yixing grabs a CD and pops it in the boom box on the counter; the upbeat sounds of Wham! start. The mood is light, energetic; the celebration before the onslaught tomorrow. You and Vera sing enthusiastically into wooden spoons, while Yixing shakes his hips as he moves, bobbing his head in time to the music. You can’t remember the last time you had this much fun at work.

At fifteen past the hour Peggy deposits the money into the safe and gathers her stuff, giving an amused smile to the scene in the back room before leaving. You finish just before ten. Vera goes home, yawning, saying she’ll see you both in the morning for “the onslaught.”

You cram the last paper slip onto the overstuffed spindle with a grin of triumph. Turning toward Yixing you sigh and lean against the counter, pleased with the day’s work. He’s drying his hands on a towel, watching you from across the room. He raises one of his eyebrows and gives you a conspiratorial smile. 

“I saved a batch of your favorites,” he says, setting down the towel and pulling out a box from one of the back cabinets. “As a thank you for your fantastic work today, and this month.”

You clap your hands together and beam at him, walking over to his outstretched hands. Coming to a stop in front of him you slip off the lid. Inside are eight perfect dark chocolate mint truffles, warm from the heat of the room.

He watches intently as you carefully select a chocolate and pop it in your mouth, eyes closing as you savor the rich taste. An involuntary moan leaves your mouth as your tongue melts the chocolate. You swallow and open your eyes, realizing abruptly how close you’re standing, how warm the room has become - your skin flushed from the hours of busyness.

Yixing sets the box down on the counter slowly. He turns back to face you, his gaze drawn down to your mouth. Smirking, he points to the corner of your mouth. You dart your tongue out to lick up the chocolate, still missing a small blob in the edge of your lips. His body tilts forward, lips parting as though he’s going to speak. His hand raises before he catches himself, dropping it suddenly to his side with a shake of his head.

“What is it?” you ask, confused.

He looks back to your eyes, your lips. “You’ve got some there, on the corner of your mouth,” he says, his voice low and strained. He battles with himself for a moment, a pained expression on his face. His eyes darken, resolved. Stepping toward you he raises his hand and gently cups your face, drawing a thumb along your lips, swiping up the chocolate.

Your body immediately reacts to his closeness, your breathing speeding up as his presence engulfs you. He draws his hand back and slowly sucks on his thumb, eyes never leaving yours. Your world narrows to his mouth, watching as he pulls his thumb back and runs his tongue along his lips.

“Just kiss me already,” you murmur under your breath, not thinking.

His eyes widen with awareness as he processes your words. You abruptly realize where you are and what you just said. Your hands fly to your mouth as if they can shove the words back in. Taking two steps away from him toward the store you dip your head, a blush rising in your face.

“Oh my God, Yixing. I’m so sorry. That was so unprofessional, please just ignore me and forget this ever happened,” you say emphatically and wave your hands in front of you as if you can make the situation disappear like a cloud of smoke.

You turn and start walking back out into the store, embarrassment flooding your body, wishing you could sink through the floor. Rapid steps sound behind you and his hand gently grabs your arm, turning you to face him. He’s watching you with an intensity that you’ve never seen before, breathing deeply.

“What if I don’t want to forget? What if… I want to kiss you just as much?” he asks, looking at you with such passion that you find it hard to breathe, your body flooding with warmth.

You tilt your head to regard him. He’s so straightforward, you can’t imagine he’d be joking or messing around with you. Maybe he’s felt he tension between you as much as you have these past few weeks. Not one to overthink things, you give him a seductive smile and bite your lip. You watch as his attention is drawn to your mouth, internally cheering as his hand on your arm squeezes slightly.

“Well, if that’s true, what are you going to do about it?” you say, voice teasing.

His eyes darken at the taunt. He moves closer, his usual sweetness melting away to become a predator stalking its prey. You back up against the nearby counter, it’s hardness pressing into your lower back as you remain targeted in his hungry gaze. Throwing his arms out to rest against the table behind you, he leans in close, hovering his lips above your own before moving over to your ear.

You breathe in a huge breath, trying to remind yourself that you need oxygen to survive, even if he’s stolen all the air in the room. Of course he smells like chocolate, you think ruefully, but there’s something else too. Some musky undertone unique to him, that invades your senses and makes your mouth water.

His lips are close to your skin as he whispers, “Are you sure you want to find out?”

When he pulls back to meet your eyes he quirks an eyebrow, regarding you seriously. You feel it too, the boundary you’re both about to cross, between employer and employee and… something else. But you’ve never been very good at reality, at consequences; at thinking toward the future.

All you know is the here and now, what’s in front of you. And right now you have a very real and very enticing man on the verge of kissing you, his hot gaze drawn to your lips.

Not one to miss an opportunity for pleasure, or to resolve a curiosity, you nod, not breaking from his intense stare. He grins at you, a satisfied smile that sets your blood on fire. One of his graceful hands slides around your back to hold you intimately against him, the other weaving into the hair at the nape of your neck.

You shiver at the touch, a delicious thrill of anticipation running down your spine. You splay your hands on his chest, your mind already wondering if your imagination of him beneath his shirt is close to the reality.

Achingly slow, he leans in and you close your eyes. You feel his breath across your lips, but for several seconds he waits there. With a noise of impatience you open your eyes, wondering what he’s waiting for. When your gaze meets his, that’s when he dives forward to take your lips. You laugh against his mouth. So it’s a mix of teasing and sensual then, you think.

The laughter dies in your throat as his hand on your back drives you closer together. You slide your arms around his neck, coming up on your tiptoes as his lips play with yours, giving light kisses before pulling back, over and over.

With your new height you grab him by the neck and press him firmly against you, not wanting to waste any time with teasing. Not after waiting for several agonizing weeks. He seems to agree, his hands coming to your ribs on either side, holding you firm. He groans against your mouth, a deep, needy sound that sends heat to your core. You lick his lower lip and moan as he slides his tongue against yours.

A familiar female voice breaks through your haze of passion. “Jesus, I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed onto my neck, wouldn’t I?” Vera laughs, and you hear her come through the gate. You and Yixing break apart. Your hand comes to your mouth. Whether in self-preservation, to hide any evidence of what just happened, or on instinct, trying to keep the taste of him near, you don’t know.  

She peeks her head in the back room, chattering on, oblivious to the heady mood in the room. “I spent forever digging in my purse and my car for my glasses. I can’t drive without them, you know. And here they are, right where I left them on the counter,” she says, clicking her tongue at herself in chastisement. “Anyways, you two have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow!” she calls and leaves again.

After she leaves you both regard each other from opposite sides of the room. You finally drop your hand and lick your lips, savoring the taste of chocolate and him on your lips. He stares you down, smirking. Just when you’re ready to stride across the room and grab him again, he looks down, breaking the moment. With a cough he turns back to the equipment, grabbing a clean rag to start wiping down the counters.

“We should get out of here, tomorrow will be a long day,” he says and you reluctantly agree. You don’t say another word to each other as you gather your things and head to your cars.

February 14th, 1997

The rapid pace of the day means the two of you are constantly walking past each other. It’s pure torture for him, watching you bend over to reach into the case, passing behind you repeatedly. He keeps catching his hands as they reach for you, groaning internally, reminding himself why this is a bad idea.

Finally at two o’clock when Vera arrives, he heads out for a brief lunch, making a beeline for Guardians. Junmyeon, the owner, has been a good friend of his since they both opened stores three years ago, within weeks of each other. He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up even further. He enters the store and a bell dings. Junmyeon comes out from the back room, smiling when he sees who it is.

“Hey, man. It’s been a while. What’s up with you? You look like you got run over by a truck, is the Valentine’s Day rush that crazy this year?” he asks as he starts sorting through some collectable books.

Yixing pauses, letting out a big sigh. He’s not the type to beat around the bush, especially with Junmyeon. He walks forward, leaning against the counter on his elbows. “No, that’s fine. Sales are good and it’s flowing well. But you know that new girl I hired?”

“Oh yeah, the one that’s friends with the owner of the bookstore?” Yixing nods. “Sure, she’s a stunner. What about her?” Junmeyon asks.

He thinks to himself that he’s never seen Yixing this agitated before, and he hides a smile, hoping that it’s about the girl; that he’s finally found someone who captured his attention.

“We were closing down together last night and... we kissed,” he says, memories of your lips and skin and taste washing over him.

Junmyeon lets out a whistle. “Are we talking about an ‘oops, one time only’ sort of thing or a kiss that means the start of something?” he asks.

Yixing groans and drops his head into his hands. “I’m pretty sure it’s the second one.”

Junmyeon pats his shoulder sympathetically. “You’re screwed, my friend,” he says with a happy laugh. “So are you getting her something for Valentine’s Day?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I hadn’t thought about it. I guess chocolate is out,” he says with a laugh.

He looks around the store, trying to think of something that might be your taste, already imagining the expressive joy that lights your face when something pleases you. When you make a customer happy or when he puts on your favorite CD after hours. Or when you’d tasted the chocolate last night, your blissed out expression running through his mind.

In the corner, behind a stack of old hats, is a sleek, dark wood case with antique silver clasps. It’s so you that he smiles, walking over to examine it. When he opens it he realizes it’s an old fashioned art case that folds out on both sides. Carefully extracting it he brings it over to the counter and pulls out his wallet.

“No, no. It’s all yours. If my perpetually single friend has finally found someone who caught his eye, it’s worth it,” Junmyeon says with a wink.

He leaves the case discreetyl next to your things. When you discover it later, on your way home, you give him an enormous hug from behind.

Holding it out you ask him, “Is this really for me? It’s exquisite,” you say and he grins at you in response.

“It’s nothing,” he says dismissively, even as his face is alight with satisfaction. “I saw it and thought of you, that’s all.”

The moment you get home you fill it with all your supplies – paints, brushes, charcoals, colored pencils. They all fit perfectly. The rest of the day you can’t help but run your fingers over the case, smiling whenever you look at it. You feel relieved, that the awkward tension between the two of you from last night and this morning has dissipated.

February 18th, 1997

Baekhyun and his friend, who you’ve come to learn goes by the nickname Hitchcock, for her obsession with horror movies, stop by on their break, smiling as they dash into the chocolate shop in a flurry of energy.

“After a long week of work, we’ve decided it’s time for another night out on the town,” she says, grinning mischievously.

“Saturday. Shari’s. Nine pm. Bring your dancing shoes,” Baekhyun says in a rush to you and Yixing before dashing over to the clothing store, laughing together.

You raise a brow at Yixing. “Where’s Shari’s?”

“It’s this nightclub up the street, it’s their favorite. Decent drinks, off the map so it’s not crowded with tourists. The best part is that on Saturday nights Jongdae, the unique guy that owns the computer repair shop, leaves his lair and DJs there. It’s always the most eclectic mix of things and it never fails to keeps us entertained.”

“Oooh, sounds like fun. I’m in. Are you coming?” you ask, trying to be subtle.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he says in a low voice, leaning over to you. A thrill of excitement runs down your spine.

February 19th, 1997

The club is in full swing when you and your friend from the jewelry store walk in. Before you left last night you’d stopped by to invite her, insisting that she break from her usual routine of reading and have some fun. Her roommate had the Saturday closing shift with Kyungsoo at Barada, but you were excited to meet her at some point. She sounded like a similar “free spirit” as your best friend would describe you in a sarcastic tone. Your best friend also closes her bookstore Saturdays, so you’re happy to have the company.

You nervously run a hand through your hair, letting it fall loose over your shoulders. You smooth a hand down your dress, waving as you spot the group at a large table in the corner. You can’t remember the last time you wore something other than the slacks and soft sweaters that had become your uniform this frigid winter.

The assembled people scoot over to let the two of you in. Looking around the table your attention falls like a laser on Yixing. His normally fluffy hair is drawn back into a small ponytail, revealing closely shaved sides. Without the hair in his face he looks dangerous, you think. Dangerous and sexy, especially as his gaze settles appreciatively on your low neckline.

Chanyeol comes back to the table carrying several drinks in his hands, his face concentrated as he tries not to spill them. You feel your friend next to you go stock still, her hand frantically grabbing yours under the table. Chanyeol sets the drinks on the table, turning to give you a friendly smile. He stops abruptly when he notices your friend. You’d completely forgotten that they were exes, remembering in a rush what she’d told you the first time you had lunch together.

She sets her coat and purse down on the seat behind her and squeezes your hand. Her eyes are wild as they look to you. “Let’s go dance?” she pleads. You glance between her and Chanyeol, who’s mouth is hanging open as he looks her up and down, face white as if he’d seen a ghost.

You nod supportively, setting down your own coat and purse and pulling her up, heading for the dance floor. “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls starts playing and a decidedly female cheer sounds from the crowd. You look up at the DJ booth and as promised, find the mysterious form of Jongdae, looking down at the mixing boards intensely. You find a spot far away from the table on the dance floor for you and your friend.

“Are you all right? I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about him being here,” you say in her ear over the music.

She takes a steadying breath and shakes her head, giving you a small smile. “No, it’s okay. It was going to happen eventually, at least here it’s in a large group,” she says with a shrug. “Let’s dance. I came out to have a good time and I fully intend to have one, ex-boyfriend or no,” she says, her smile widening into a grin, shaking off her shock.

“Let’s do it,” you reply and grab her hand, pulling her into the crush of bodies to shake your booties to the music.

After another song more of the group joins you. Jongin dances with Hitchcock and Baekhyun pulls your friend into a hilariously dramatic tango. In the back you can see Chanyeol at the table, nursing his beer thoughtfully, watching her like a hawk. Next to him the girl from Starlight, the clothing shop, sips a colorful drink and gestures happily while she talks to him. You look around, wondering where Yixing has gone.

A tap on your shoulder has you turning around. Yixing is grinning at you like the cat that caught the canary, eyes sweeping up your body before meeting your gaze. He approaches slowly, giving you time to back away. Instead you step into his embrace, hands coming to his shoulders while his wrap around your hips. He’s wearing dark jeans, a white shirt that shines in the light of the club, and black boots. Out of his usual work outfit of plain slacks and a button-down he looks even better, you think.

The song switches to an upbeat R&B tempo as you start moving together. “Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex, baby,” the singers croon and you can’t help the teasing smile that comes to your lips. He raises an eyebrow and gives you a knowing look that causes you to tilt your head back and laugh.

The night goes on and you have a couple of drinks with your friend, two delicious lemon drops. Though you take breaks to dance with Baekhyun and Jongin for a few songs, you and Yixing keep finding each other. Late in the night a slower song starts, the heady beats driving your bodies closer together. Emboldened by the alcohol and his hands warm on your hips, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips. Briefly, testing the waters, seeing where you stand.

When you pull back he’s watching you intently, licking his lips. With a look around, making sure none of the group is watching, he pulls you through the crowd to the back wall, hidden by a pillar. He plants his hand against the wall, leaning in close, his other hand sneaking around your low back to push you against him.

With no hint of his earlier teasing he drops his head and captures your lips in a frantic kiss. Long, sensual movements of his lips against yours, drawing out the sensation. Your hands grasp his shoulders, pulling at him fervently.

You lick along his lower lip, seeking to deepen the kiss, but he pulls back, looking torn. “I’m your boss. I shouldn’t,” he says in your ear, his voice sending shivers down your spine.

“But you want to,” you say. It’s a statement, not a question.

“Yes, I want to, very much,” he says, and you feel his lips ghost over your neck. You arch against him, body flooding with need.

“Yixing, we’re both adults, we’re both single. I’m not some teenager head over heels in love with her married supervisor,” you say with a laugh. “What harm is there in a kiss?”

“What harm is there indeed,” he says with a wolf’s grin, showing his teeth. But he’s persuaded, at least for tonight, and he leans forward to hungrily recapture your lips.

Eventually you tear yourselves away and return to the group. You settled nothing tonight, but that desire in your heart doesn’t care. You might be playing with fire, balancing on the edge of something with him, but a few burns seem worth it when it comes to Yixing.

April 5th, 1997

You’re both humming along to the song on the boom box as you mix batches of chocolates, a new white chocolate mint recipe that’s been flying off the shelves. You look up to see it’s lunch time. On your way past him he pulls you out of view of the store, pressing you against the industrial fridge and kissing the daylights out of you. You laugh against his mouth and he smiles against your lips.

You’ve spent the past few weeks in a routine. Working in the back room with Yixing in the mornings, tending to the counter with Peggy in the afternoons. Valentine’s Day flowing seamlessly into steady business as new love bloomed everywhere with the arrival of spring, carrying on into Mother’s Day preparations.

You and Yixing sneak in kisses whenever you can, sometimes hot and heavy, sometimes sweet and light. All of them leave you breathless and ecstatic. But neither of you push for more, staying in this limbo together.

Eventually Peggy calls back to him, asking if he has any more mixed truffle gift boxes in the back and you manage to sneak away from his arms with a giggle. You sprint over to the food court where your friend is patiently waiting.

“Sorry about that, I got caught up with something,” you say in a rush, linking your arms with hers as you walk in and find a seat in the pub.

“Something, or someone?” she asks with a wry smile, taking in your flushed cheeks and slightly askew clothing. You choke on the sip of water you’re taking, coughing a few times.

You stare at her openmouthed. “How’d you know?”

She gives you a knowing look. “You’re not the most subtle of people when you’re into someone,” she says with a laugh. “So who is it? And how come you haven’t said anything before?” she demands, waving a finger at you.

You lean forward, hands raised, ready to come up with an excuse. But it’s pointless trying to deny it, she’s already seen through you, and you sag in resignation. “It’s Yixing,” you say with a wince.

She laughs joyfully and slaps her hand against her knee. “Ha! I knew it, you like him don’t you?” she asks happily.

“Yes, ugh, the past few weeks, since Valentine’s Day, we’ve been… I don’t know. Tempting each other,” you say with a groan. “We kissed right before Valentine’s Day, then again that night we went to Shari’s, and almost every day since then. If only you’d been there, maybe I would have been able to resist,” you say.

“Since when have I been the voice of reason when it comes to romance?” she asks sarcastically, waving her hand in the direction of KMS Music.

You pick up your water and clink it to her glass. “Well, at least we’re in this together. Here’s to being head over heels for unfathomable men.”

She picks up her glass and takes a sip. “Cheers to that my friend.”

April 23rd, 1997

You’re singing along to the radio, happily pouring the day’s molds when the delivery man arrives. Several more boxes than usual, Yixing thinks. He smiles to himself as he signs for the delivery and starts bringing the boxes into the back room. He opens a box and pulls out the first design, his favorite, because he knows it’s your favorite. The purple of the lavender and the gold of the stars pop on the shiny material.

Sliding an arm around your waist he presses quick kiss against your neck. You turn around to face him and squeal with delight when you see what he’s holding.

“It came out amazing!” you breathe, running your fingers along the material. He was right, you think, the gold does compliment the flowers perfectly. And you’ve already tasted the recipes he created to go along with each design, another area where the two of you mesh perfectly. He presses a lingering kiss to your mouth before turning back to start assembling the boxes.

May 12th, 1997

You and Yixing both have the day after Mother’s Day off. It was a smashing success, selling out of all the pre-orders and the stash of extras you’d prepared just in case. When you finally went home, long after it got dark, you’d stopped at the front display window. Yixing had a large poster of your designs made to advertise the pre-sales, and seeing it after such a successful day made you feel as though you could burst with happiness.

After sleeping in you drag yourself out of bed and get up, finally attending to the long list of chores that had fallen behind in the days leading up to Mother’s Day. You start a load of laundry, tidy up the apartment, write checks for the electrical and water bills and pop them in the mail. You look around in the kitchen for food and come up laughably empty. It’s a gorgeous, warm, early spring day and you decide to walk the few blocks to the grocery store next to the mall.

As you’re coming through the big park by the mall you see a familiar set of figures by the swing set. Yixing and Junmyeon are standing together, sipping to-go cups of coffee, watching the crowd of children play. Junmyeon pauses every few seconds to reach out his other hand and push a small boy on the swings. You’d heard Junmyeon and Yixing mention his son in conversation in the many times he’d come into the store, but you hadn’t met the boy yet. Yixing spots you and waves you over.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Yixing asks with a warm smile as Junmyeon gives you a one-armed hug in greeting.

The boy turns around in the seat. “Dad, I want to go on the slide!” he says cutely.

“Okay, buddy. This is my friend, Y/N, can you say hi?” Junmyeon says with a sweet smile on his face.

The little boy jumps off the swing and holds out a hand to you. “Hello, I’m Sungmin, nice to meet you,” he says with a polite shake of your hand. “Want to come on the slide with me?” he asks, grinning, tilting his head to look at you.

You laugh at how cute he is and nod. “Absolutely, let’s do it,” you say with a look at Yixing. Sungmin pulls on your hand and you follow after him to the slide. You climb up and settle into the side by side slides. Junmyeon sets down his coffee, holding out his hands to catch Sungmin at the bottom. Yixing comes to the end of your slide, holding out his hands with a teasing grin.

“Ready?” you ask Sungmin and he nods excitedly. You both push off and sail to the bottom. He squeals with delight as he slides down, throwing his arms up into the air. You hit the bottom in a rush, falling into Yixing’s strong arms, and he swings you up into his chest. You crash into him with a whoosh of breath and he spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down on your feet, his arms not budging from around your waist, gazing down at you.

“Let’s go again!” Sungmin says, tugging on your jacket and you reluctantly break eye contact with Yixing.

“Let’s do it!” you say and take his hand, running back around to the steps to the slide.

You spend over an hour at the playground, chatting with Junmyeon and chasing Sungmin around with Yixing, his sweet little giggles making you grin as Yixing pretends to be a dinosaur. Unbidden, images rise in your mind of you and Yixing chasing around a little girl on the playground, one with his smile and your eyes. With a shake of your head, you push the image away and pick up the pace to catch up with them.

June 1st, 1997

Maybe this is it, you wonder. The sign you’ve been waiting for, a purpose and a place that are calling to you. Sitting on your kitchen table, your feet on a chair, you chew on a fingernail as you re-read the letter in front of you for the tenth time.

It sounds so appealing – a coveted artist-in-residence position at Zion National Park. You’d applied months ago and it hadn’t crossed your mind in weeks. Paid accommodation in the park for a year, a stipend for food and supplies. Unlimited access to the park to paint or draw or create whatever you wished.

They were intrigued at your modern style, mixed with your traditional background and influence. They were trying something new, something “edgy” they said. Past meets the future, technology meets nature. You’d be a fool to turn it down.

But your mind resists, flooding with images of the little group of people in your life - here, now. Lunches spent with your best friend, watching her eyes light up as she talks about the new books that came in that day. The sweet smile that adorns her face now every time Minseok walks by, their eyes only for each other in their little bubble of fresh love.

You’d miss joking with Chanyeol when you stop in for a slice on your way home, his booming laugh when you surprise him with a good pun. Baekhyun and Hitchcock always goofing off, drawing you into whatever adventure they were going on after work. Driving around together off to an arcade or to see the latest movie. Shopping with your friend from the jewelry store, seeking out new paints for you and new stones for her to use in her creations.

Playing hide and go seek on the playground with Junmyeon and his son had become a regular occurrence on your days off. You smile thinking of the hours spent laughing hysterically with Yixing, making silly faces for Sungmin. Your heart tugs thinking of his excitement when he brought out the lollipop he’d made especially for the boy on his birthday last week.

Your attention is drawn again to the wonderful present Yixing got you for Valentine’s Day, the vintage art case perfect for storing all of your supplies. His excellent taste and attention to the people he cares about just one on a long list of reasons you’re completely absorbed in him.

His boundless creativity. His warm, humble smile, dimples showing, when someone compliments his work. His hands, his mouth, his body. Everything about him appeals to you.

But he’d been keeping you at arm’s length.

Because you were his employee or because of something else, you didn’t know. You loved the mall, and the people in it, but staying and being near Yixing; close, so very close, but not fully his, would be a torture you couldn’t endure.

You laugh to yourself, the future uncertain, once again. Now that Mother’s Day had come and gone, how long would you be working there? He hadn’t mentioned anything about commitment, in either the relationship sense or the employment sense. Had the past few months been an escape from reality? Or the creation of a new one? You wonder to yourself, turning the options over.

You bite your nail distractedly, torn as to what you should do. Twisting your wrist to look at your watch you see it’s 7:37 and you decide to confront a situation head on for once in your life. Your best friend had the bravery a few days ago to speak the words in her heart and now she and Minseok were making everyone in the mall jealous with how in love they are. You think to yourself that you can muster up a shred of that courage at least, and ask him directly.

If you hurry you can just catch Yixing as he’s leaving. You throw a sweatshirt over your tank top, slide on your sandals, grab your keys and dash out the door. Driving through the rain, internally cursing every red light, every car that’s going too slowly for your desperate pace.

You don’t even know what you’re racing toward. Are you hoping he’ll have no reaction to your job offer, giving you the push to make a clean break for a new life? Or are you hoping that he’ll decide you’re worth the risk? Either way it lands, at least you’ll have your answer and you can stop dancing on the edge of whatever has been happening between you. You have no idea what you’re going to say, you just know that tonight feels… important. That for whatever reason, you need to be looking him in the face when you tell him the news.

As you pull up to the mall the clock flashes 7:54. You whip into a parking spot and yank up on the emergency break. You jam the gear shift into park, pull out your keys from the car and start running, slamming the door behind you. You sprint across the parking lot and through the main entrance, sandals slapping the floor behind you as you come up to the store.

You skid to a stop out front of the entrance, warmed all over again by the crisp white walls and artful displays. It feels as though it’s been weeks since you last stepped inside instead of less than a day. Just yesterday you and Yixing had started loosely tossing around some designs to compliment the holiday line of chocolates he was working up.

He’s blessedly alone in the store, going through the closing duties on this slow evening. At your approach he rises from cleaning the case, resting his palms against the glass, giving you a smile so warm and open it makes you want to jump over the counter to beg him to be yours.

“Well this is an unexpected pleasure, what’s the occasion?” he asks, wiping his hands off and coming around to stand in front of you.

You’re so on edge you just blurt out what’s on your mind, holding the letter out in front of you. “I got a job offer,” you say in a rush of breath. “It’s an artist-in-residence opening, at Zion National Park. It’s in Utah, and it starts in three weeks,” you say, gauging his reaction.

He meets your eyes briefly, his expression a war of emotions. He sets down his rag and turns abruptly, walking into the back room. You stand there for a moment, puzzled, before following. He’s leaning against the far counter, his arms folded as he regards you steadily. Nothing, for several seconds he doesn’t say a thing. You huff out a laugh, stunned that after the past few months he has no words.

“You don’t have anything to say? After all we’ve been through – nothing?” you say, incredulous, coming to lean against the opposite counter, mirroring his pose.

He breaks your gaze, looking down at the floor. His brow furrows in concentration, but when he looks back to you, your heart sinks. If you hadn’t been watching him closely these past few months you would have missed it. The slight tilt of his lips down, the sadness in his expression.

He’s letting you go. Either because he doesn’t care strongly enough to want you to stay or because he’s too set in his ways to take a chance on you.

You throw up your hands and move to leave, giving one last look back at him as you move to the doorway. “Fine,” you scoff. “Consider this my two weeks notice. It’s been fun Yixing,” you say, willing your expression to stone, knowing that the hurt you feel is seeping into your face.

“Wait,” he says urgently, his voice thick with emotion. “Stay, please.”

You whip your head around in shock. You know he doesn’t just mean tonight. He swallows harshly, eyes burning into yours. Pushing off the counter he comes over to you, agitation clear on his face. He comes to stand inches from you, his hands impatiently darting out to hold your waist.

“When I see something I want I go for it, I don’t wait. The day I knew I wanted to open this shop I drove around to three different malls until I found the perfect spot. I went into the real estate office in the mall that same day. When I have a new idea for something here I don’t pause, I just… start making it.”

His lips twist in a smile. “That’s how it was with you. When I saw you, fighting against the cold, I practically leapt across the parking lot to get to you so I could grab your folder. Before I lost the excuse to talk to you,” he grins to himself at the memory.

“When I realized you were coming to my store, to see me… I’ve wanted a lot of things in life, but I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I wanted – as I want you,” he clarifies emphatically.

“I didn’t want to say anything, to try and lay a claim on you. For lots of reasons, all of which seem silly in hindsight. And now you have this amazing opportunity and I should let you go. I should say thank you for the fantastic job you’ve done, for the incredibly successful collaboration, for the time we spent together.”

“But I can’t let you go without telling you that I care about you, deeply. If you stay, I’d love to bring you on permanently. Peggy’s been bugging me for months about choosing a time for her to finally retire for real. Or if you want to work somewhere else I’ll support you a hundred percent,” he says and leans his forehead against yours.

“Or if you want to go, I’ll of course support you in that too.” His expression turns bashful. “I’ve been meaning to give these to you, but I hadn’t found a good time yet,” he says and you wrinkle your brow in confusion. He reaches up behind you into one of the cabinets and pulls out a box.

“I named them after you,” he says, taking off the lid.

A light dusting of chocolate is settled on top of the truffles, a small purple flower bud resting in the center of each. You grab one and take a bite. It’s delicious. You roll the flavors around on your tongue, eyes going wide as you realize what the special ingredient is.

“What’s in this?” you ask softly, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it from him.

“Lavender,” he says with a smile. “Your favorite.” The look on his face is so raw and open, it’s pulling at your heart. How did you not see it before? How much he means to you, and how much he cares about you in return.

“Do you mean it? You want to give this a real go, you and me?” you ask, waving your hand between you, needing to be explicitly clear before you let your reckless imagination run away with you.

“Yes, darling. If you’ll have me, I’m yours,” he says with a grin. “I decided to give up on fighting what I feel for you that day at the park with Junmyeon. I never found to the words to say to you, so I made these instead. I’m ready to try if you are.”

You launch yourself fully into his arms, grabbing his face with your hands and pulling him to you. He chuckles and wraps an arm around your waist, setting the box down on the counter behind you. His lips hungrily work against yours, holding you against the counter with his hard body. You open your eyes and look at the clock on the wall. Eight o’clock on the dot. You smirk against his lips and then pull back, breathing heavily.

“Want to get out of here?” you ask, beaming.

He looks at the clock and then back to you with a grin. “Absolutely.”

You pull into your parking spot on the curb and he pulls up behind you. A feeling of nervous excitement rises in your stomach and you hold a hand there, savoring the realization that he’s actually here, wanting to be yours. He comes over and opens the door for you, helping you out. You run up the steps to your apartment together, and he playfully smacks you in the butt. Laughing, you do the same to him before unlocking the door to your apartment.

You practically fall inside together, pulling him into the apartment and leaning him against the door. His lips meet yours in a hurry, kissing all over your face. The corners of your mouth, the top of your lip, the tip of your nose, your chin. It’s like now that he’s able to he wants to kiss every inch of you. You giggle and fist your hand in his shirt, pressing into him fully and drawing his lower lip in gently with your teeth.

He groans and you release his lip, sliding your tongue into his mouth. His hands slip up under your sweatshirt and you grin, remembering your dream all those months ago. You break the kiss for a moment to help him slide the fabric up and over your head. He shrugs out of his coat and quickly grabs the edges of his shirt, pulling it off, throwing it to the floor.

You stare appreciatively at his lean body, thinking to yourself that you can’t wait to kiss your way down it. But before you get a chance he comes up to you, hands gently holding your face to kiss you again, walking you backward in the direction of the bedroom.

You kick off your sandals as you walk and he kicks his off using his heels. He stops in the hallway, grabbing the edges of your tank top and easing it off you, followed quickly by your bra. Breathing rapidly, you each remove your pants in a rush, joining together again and moaning at the feeling of bare skin meeting bare skin.

Clad in only underwear you reach the bed and he sprawls out, sliding under the covers and pulling you on top of him, a leg on either side of his thighs. You look down at him through the curtain of your hair, breath catching in your throat as his fingers trace your naked skin, trailing up your sides to caress your breasts. The sight of him is glorious, you think; in your bed, hands on your skin in the faint light coming through the window.

He eases you down against him and kisses you gently. Resting his forehead against yours, he closes his eyes and asks, “Will you let me just hold you tonight? I’m not good at waiting, but - now that we’re here, I want to take my time.”

You nod, touched by his sweetness, and spread a hand across his chest, leaning over to rest against his side, nuzzling into his shoulder. You take a deep breath and sigh. Wrapped up in his warmth, you fall asleep listening to his heart beating in his chest.

June 2nd, 1997

A car starting on the street wakes him at dawn, soft light coming through your curtains. His arm rests around your waist and he bites his lip, trying to smother a grin at the memory of yesterday, at the fact that you chose him. Leaning over he takes in your sleeping face, relaxed and peaceful. He brushes a hand over your forehead, sweeping back the messy fall of your hair to place a light kiss on your neck.

You stir, blinking and opening your eyes. He gives you a lazy smile, running his hand up and down your hip, his leg coming to rest between yours under the covers. You pull his hand up to your lips and plant a kiss on his palm. It feels like a dream, but with him here in front of you, so real and present, you know it’s even better.

He moves his hand to cup your face, his thumb tracing along your jaw, with a wistful smile. Your gaze is drawn down to his mouth and then back to his eyes, and suddenly the air in the room changes. His eyes widen in arousal and his smile turns seductive. After months of waiting, you both know it’s time. You turn around to face him, swinging a leg over his hips.

With a deep breath he draws himself to you, sliding his lips along yours. Your hand grabs at his waist, needy and impatient. He laughs and slides his leg higher to rub along your sensitive core. You moan into his mouth and turn, pulling him on top of you. His lips pull away from yours and start trailing down your throat.

He slides down the bed, pushing the covers aside, his mouth stopping to pay attention to your breasts. You wind your hands in his hair as he laps at first one nipple, and then the other, teasing them to sensitive peaks.

Too soon, or not soon enough, he moves on, heading downward, eyes meeting yours as his tongue leaves a slick trail down your stomach. Stopping at your underwear his gaze turns dark, pupils dilating as he smells the arousal pooling in your core.

He hooks two fingers under each side and pulls your panties off in a rush, his rough hands pressing your legs apart and into the mattress. You give him a wry grin and tilt your head as if to challenge him to do his worst. He raises his eyebrows at you a few times suggestively and you giggle. Bending down he hovers his mouth over you for several agonizing seconds and just when you feel you’re about to scream he dips his head and runs his tongue along your slit.

A strangled cry leaves your mouth and you wildly grab for the sheets. With an appreciative noise he says, “The most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.” You throw your head back against the pillow with a laugh. The sound turns desperate as he repeats the motion, teasingly skirting around where you need him the most.

You jolt when he finally draws his tongue around your clit, in slow circles that reduce you to a writhing mess. He draws the bud between his lips and flattens his tongue, running over it directly. You buck your hips at that, your whines turning insistent.

“Yixing, please. I need you, I’m not going to hold out much longer,” you cry.

After another agonizing few licks he relents, releasing you and moving his body back on top of yours, his erection hard between you. He holds up a finger and leaps out of the bed, finding his pants where he left them in the hallway. Triumphantly he pulls out his wallet and holds up a condom. With a sarcastic turn of your head you stare pointedly at it.

“I’ve been hoping this might happen,” he says with a smug smile. You watch as he peels off his boxer-briefs and tears open the package, sheathing himself. He joins you back in the bed, holding himself up on his arms as he bends down to press a quick kiss to your lips.

You smile up at him. “So, in your hoping did you have a position in mind?” you tease.

His gaze darkens and a smirks comes to his lips. “You know, I did,” he replies, and he turns and sits on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. He motions for you to sit on his lap. You spread your legs and rest one on either side of him, hovering on top of his erection. His firm hands grip your hips and he slowly guides you down onto him. You moan and grip the headboard with both hands as he fills you, stretching you fully.

He drops his head against the headboard and lets out a groan of pleasure. “When you come I want to be able to watch that beautiful face of yours, feel every inch of your body against me,” he says desperately, lifting you up an inch and then thrusting his hips back up into you.

You can’t manage any words to reply, so instead you arch into him, capturing his lips with yours as you rock your hips in time with his thrusts. Neither of you can wait for long, both moaning into each other’s mouth between hurried, frenzied kisses. He knows you’re close as your whimpers become higher, desperate. He reaches a hand around and frantically rubs his thumb around your clit.

Seconds later your orgasm crashes into you, his name falling from your lips over and over, like a wild prayer. His eyes burn into yours as he reaches his completion right behind, the clenching of your walls pushing him to the breaking point. Drawing you in for a long, lazy kiss, he holds you tightly to him as you ride out the aftershocks of your orgasm.

He slides down, holding you on top of him. After disposing of the condom he tucks you both back under the covers and you fall back asleep, content and  tangled up in each other as the sun finally comes up over the horizon.

November 13, 1997

You convinced Vera to switch days off this week so you and Yixing could have the day off together. She agreed without hesitation, saying she’d appreciate the day to boss around the two temps Yixing had hired for the holiday season. She’s enjoying her new position of supervisor after Peggy’s retirement a few months ago, or as she jokes ‘her final retirement.’ Both of them had congratulated you happily when you’d broken the news the week after you finally got together.

After a long Saturday spent in bed together you finally smack him lightly on the ass, taunting, telling him it’s time to get ready. He groans, pulling you back against his chest, sleepily nuzzling your neck. “Mm, remind me why we have to do this again? As beautiful as I’m sure you’ll look, I’d much rather have you naked in my bed,” he says, nipping at your neck with his teeth.

Your friend at Barada had come up with the idea. Something about helping Kyungsoo “reclaim his lost youth” or something else dramatic, as was her style. She’d come up with the idea on one of your girl’s nights.

“Oh my god, I have the perfect idea! Let’s have a mall prom!” she’d said excitedly, slamming her hands on the table, looking around.

It had taken very little convincing to get everyone in your group of friends on board. Jongin had reserved KOKO’s largest exercise room. Baekhyun and Hitchcock invited everyone in the mall they could find. Yixing and Chanyeol took care of the food and desserts. Your efficient and organized best friend had taken care of renting the tables and chairs and her boyfriend, Minseok, had of course handled the music. You and your friend from the jewelry shop made the decorations. You’d spent a hilarious afternoon last week making cheesy crepe paper designs and glittery signs for the photo booth.

You pull him in for a kiss. “Because they’re our friends and it will be fun. Now, move it or lose it buddy,” you say and twist out of his arms as he tries to grab you again.

The dress you picked, a short pink number with a laughably poofy tulle skirt, hangs in your side of the closet. You head into the bathroom to do your hair and make up. A month or so ago he’d offered you a key to his place, and your heart soared when you’d seen the space he’d made in his apartment for you.

You already kept tons of things at each other’s places, but the key signaled something permanent. That these months together weren’t a fling, the temporary whims of two dreamy and artistic people, but something real.

When you come out of the bathroom, finally ready, he’s leaning against the wall. Just when you thought he couldn’t look any better, there he is, looking like James Bond in his tux and dress shoes. His hair artfully slicked back, obeying him for once. He gives you a whistle and you twirl for him.  

He holds out his hand to you, eyes dancing in delight. “Ready partner?”

You grab his hand and squeeze. “Ready.”

[honeyedmilks]

gtkm 🌙

tagged by the cutest @captain-junmyeon ty angel !!!!!

tagging: @championamjoon @rabonghee @allonsy-allie @gimme-a-chocolate @blushyandreil @longguosus @myhalloweendreams @millkiway @lavenderbyun

how tall are you: 5′9 ? or taller ? or a little smaller ?? i dunno !!

what colour are your eyes: so dark they’re like black snjdjdjd when will i be cast as a demon?

do you wear contacts and/or glasses: only sunglasses to make me look cute

do you wear braces: i used to !!

what is your fashion style: i don’t even know ? i guess casual chic ? but sometimes i just look like a hobo so who knows ... the things i like in terms of fashion are often or not what i get to wear tho :(

when were you born: 25th january 2001

how old are you: 17 !!

do you have any siblings: hm yes . two brothers (younger) and one sister (also younger)

what school/ college do you go to: rn ? no where jjjjsndnsjjdd

what kind of student are you: i’ve not been a student for like a year so i dunno and my mental illness fucked me over so bad so i dunno sndidnkdndkd but i guess i’m a perfectionist and very messy but always striving to learn to my optimum and brimming with knowledge lmao i can be vocal when i’m confident. i used to be quite terrible tho :/ but i guess that’s because i had to learn to do everything on my own as a child? but i got sick of being the dumb one by the time i got to high school and started to get my head down a bit. i wasn’t perfect lol. after a while it got really hard. it’s been a lot of ups and downs for the most part

what are your favorite subjects: history was one i enjoyed a lot i think ? english was like my safe heaven at one point but i dunno djdjdjd

what are your favourite movies: oh binch ... i dunno !! do u know how many movies i’ve seen? but from the top of my head; wheelman (it’s on netflix go watch it pls !! it’s so underrated), the mummy 1 & 2, and um peter pan !! the live action one ... damn i’m already crying ... this is why i can’t watch it anymore

what are your favorite pastimes: depends on my mood tbh. i like listening to music, blogging on this shithole, baking (a more recent development), writing (i swear i’m a writer :/), doing dumb shit on photoshop, looking through my pinterest sndidkjddi, watching stuff like dramas, films, youtube stuff

so you have any regrets: eh i’m always out there being a Mess so yeah i guess. but i’m like a zombie so i get over stuff now unless it’s Really a lot okay wait i’m remembering ... hmm not good at all

what is your dream job: director/ writer. and recently ? singer even tho i can’t sing :/

would you like to get married: sigh yes cuz apparently that’s when i can actually live whatever trash life i want

do you want kids? how many if so: i want babies :( when i’m older i think. even if pregnancy is so scary. only a few kids :( like 1 or 2 ?

how many countries have you visited: i can’t count so um pakistan, egypt, turkey, italy, france, england, dubai- these were all to varying degrees but oh well. and i was so young i barely remember a lot of it.

what was your scariest dream: uh i don’t wanna talk about it since a) it’s gonna take me ages to remember and then put into words and b) i just :/

do you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ significant other: binch no !! 😤😖 but a girl (me !!) is so lonely . if someone has baekhyuns number then tell him i’m fucjxjixx FREE ALL DAY EVERY DAY !!

put your playlist on shuffle and without skipping the first 15 songs:

i have a million platforms that i listen to music on so deal with this random array of songs i’ve kind of but not quite hand picked with no links because i’m too tired~

like a cat by aoa (FUCK I LOVE THIS SONG SKSJ)

automatic by red velvet

sin contrato by maluma

no ordinary love by sade

come get her by rae sremmurd (look ik :/ it’s trash but it slaps)

3 by britney spears

how’s this by hyuna

borro cassette by maluma (i love ... val this is our Other song)

eu sou assim by anitta

someone new by banks (</3)

O by coldplay

beautiful ruin by jhene aiko

safari by j balvin

rockstar by post malone (again ... trash ... but it bangs)

talk talk by girls generation (um amazing fantastic iconic mindblowing !!)