#transphobia tw ///

[tea-and-secrets]

Came out as transgender (male) to my childhood friend and she instantly changed tone and personality when talking to me. She kept showing me pictures of what she thinks my transition goal would look like and all of the pictures were just slim tall blonde boys with a little bit of makeup

I told her I actually was hoping to have a muscular build mixed with a “dad-bod” figure and she stopped speaking to me after I told her that lol

It’s been a year since that happened and I hope she sees me again one day when I’m fully transitioned with muscles and a gut

.

[samwisethewitch]

Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won't radicalize you into a hate group

It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.

Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.

In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.

Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:

Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)

Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)

How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)

Gardening

Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)

Country/Rural Living:

Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)

"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)

Sewing/Mending:

Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)

Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)

Sustainability/Land Stewardship

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)

Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)

Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"

Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.

"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)

Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)

These are just the resources I've personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!

[memingursa]

Guy certainly knows about it

[schizodelicsyscourse]

Ur funny

I'd like to see someone try me lol

Let's see, list of all the things I definitely didn't deal with

-got kicked out by my dad for being trans on my 18th birthday

-sat out in the cold every single fucking night

-nearly got raped by a methhead who trapped me under his tarp while he was smoking

-got manipulated into being the perfect boytoy for some drunk asshole

-my girlfriend tortured and nearly killed because someone thought she stole a watch

-watched the world end and everyone I love die during an intense psychotic episode

-watched my cats get abused by drunk asshole, including being kicked into a tree, the cat now has seizures regularly and I have no way to find out if they will kill him

-watching my girlfriend get jumped by someone I thought was my friend

-watching people I cared about relapse on meth over and over

-watching people die on fentanyl on a nearly daily basis

-lost almost everyone when I left my drunk abuser because he only let me socialize through him

-used as a glorified security camera and forced to stay isolated in the woods for weeks at a time, depending on my abuser to bring me back food, hoping he didn't get distracted by the liquor cabinet (spoiler: he usually did)

-controlled by using drugs to shut me up any time I expressed anger or discomfort with what was going on

-risking jail time every time I needed food, or warm clothes, or a sleeping bag

-sleeping outside when its so cold all your muscles tighten up and shake and hurt so bad it takes half a bottle to get you to sleep

-gang shit I can't even begin to explain

-the homeless shelter stealing all my shit and lying to me about giving it back

-got through all this and am fucking winning cuz I have a hot girlfriend, money in my pocket, and a housing voucher in 2 days

Idc whether you think I experience plurality or not, it's an endo-made term anyway, no one in real life cares.

You're just a chronically online middle schooler with nothing better to do with his time and its fun to mess with you a little bit, but at the end of the day, nothing you say matters. My girlfriend (who has DID by the way) still thinks its hot that I have other people in my head, her father figure who also experiences schizogenic plurality (though he doesn't use those words) still lets me hang around his apartment all day and will always roll me a joint while discuss our multiplicity, my sibling is still best fucking friends with my sysmate, and I'm still openly schizo and plural in real life.

hi. endo sys with diagnosed psychosis. my therapist is actively encouraging me to regain my system after I suppressed it. he believes it is a beneficial symptom and supports me in being MORE plural. yeah my plurality is caused by psychosis and it has still been deemed healthy by a medical professional. why are you ableist against psychotics? you think we can't know our own brains?

So basically, ur therapist supports ur delusions, that's all it is LMAO like I said, therapists can't beka delusions, he knows that soon enough you'll grow out of it

[kirfluffbon]

once i said butch girls who call themselves dudes and boyfriends are cute and i got put on a blocklist for supporting “invalid identities” which is fucking hilarious. cant a guy dyke it up in peace in the privacy of his own home

[nyancrimew]

Why do u call yourself a transGIRL if you are over 18? That's pedophilic .

this one is always sooo funny to me, cause like ok, when some random cis woman calls herself or her friend a girl or something she's quirky and cool, but when a trans person calls themselves a girl or a boy we're suddenly pedophiles! hmmmm i wonder where that rhetoric comes from?

[communistkenobi]

They put Tayy Dior’s name in quotes as if that was a fun little nickname her friends called her. It places emphasis on the fact that her name is ‘unofficial,’ and given that legal name changes in places like the US can be expensive, difficult & time consuming, the ‘unofficial’ nature of transgender peoples’ names is commonplace. Using deadnames of trans people in media reports is an endorsement of the difficult nature of this process.

It also highlights the absurdity of appealing to ‘official’ legal records of name and gender marker - which official records? even when you go through a legal name change process, it’s not a single application that changes it everywhere. At least in my experience in Canada, and I believe this is the case in other federated states, you have to separately change your photo ID(s), your birth certificate, your federal/national records, your tax records, your employment and tenant records, your bank records, your billing records, and so on. These are all separate applications/appointments. And legal name and gender marker are separate applications. I had to essentially obtain a set of permission slips from a provincial office that allowed me to change my name and gender marker on municipal, provincial, and federal records. There isn’t one single ‘official’ record that informs all other records of your ‘real’ name and gender marker, it is a collection of diffused departments & offices that do not communicate with one another and must be altered one at a time by the individual themselves. In many cases, states retain a record of your original name and gender marker even after applying for a change, meaning it is literally impossible to ever fully change your name and gender everywhere, administratively speaking.

So, which record is the ‘official’ record for trans people? Cis people treat ‘official’ records of legal names and gender markers as if they are uniform, centralised, and coherent in order to contrast the ‘unofficial’ nature of a trans person’s “preferred” name and pronouns, to highlight the fundamental fraudulence of our lives that go against the rational objective nature of the state, but there is in many states no single official record, for trans and non-trans people alike. That is because when cis people insist on calling trans people by their deadnames and ungender them, they are not actually referring to official records - as official records can conflict, and there is no agreement on which single record is the authoritative one - but are instead treating sex and name assignment at birth as if it is sacrosanct. This first ritual of naming, of gendering, and of recording the results of this ritual is the actual ‘official record’ they are referring to, a ritual that can never be altered or forsaken.

Tayy Dior’s name is not a nickname, it is not a quotation to insert into her “real” “official” deadname, it is not a preference. It is her name, and the media - even “trans inclusive” media - is making sure that it is, at best, the second thing they call her as they gleefully report on her violent murder

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Wow, Daegu (South Korea) went from not protecting Daegu Pride in 2018 the way they should've to receiving education sessions on Queer culture and becoming public allies and vowing to protect Pride from then on and doing exactly so every single year culminating in this year when their hobgoblin of a mayor tried to destroy Pride, and now even protesting in favor of Pride? Growth.

It's important to note that the courts also supported Pride and the mayor publicly threatened the police chief, yet the police still went to protect and support Pride.

"South Korean news agency Yonhap estimated that about 500 protesters and 1,500 police officers were at the scene. The festival ultimately continued, with the parade taking place as planned."

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

I bought the wizard game because all the troons were making a big fuss about it. jk rowling did nothing wrong.

Okay look, I need you to take a step back from yourself and your in-group and really see that message, because to a normal person it's nonsensical. I acknowledge that you are trying to insult me, but it's not hitting the mark because "troon" just sounds like something a scifi character would use as currency. This is like when incels were calling women "femoids" like that's supposed to mean something. Get better writers.

[trans-androgyne]

TERFS 🤝 Queer Transandrophobes

- Testosterone is poison and will make you worse as a person

- Phalloplasty is disgusting mutilation

- Transmasculinity is boring, ugly, and downright antifeminist; they would have been better as a girl

- Being a man is morally wrong, and sexism against men doesn’t exist

- Transmascs aren’t targeted for their masculinity, and if they are they deserved it

- Trans men are misogynistic and joining the side of the oppressor

- Identifying as a trans man helps you escape misogyny; also transandrophobia isn’t real, it’s “just misogyny”

- Trans mlm often transition because they fetishize fictional gay men/are “fujoshis”

- There is no real history of transmasculinity

- Transmascs don't know what they're talking about when they describe their experiences with gender and oppression

[sadclowncentral]

where is that post that is like at a certain level of serving cunt misgendering becomes funny because i had to attend a funeral in my conservative hometown and the urge not to wink and do finger guns at every old person who looked at my mother puzzled as she answered the question "and who is this young man?" with "that's my daughter" through clenched teeth was immeasurably hard to supress

[intersex-support]

if I see one more terf rambling about pcos and honestly any intersex variation again I’m going to spontaneously combust. Thank you for your service

Dealing with terfs, especially intersex terfs and people who really cling to DSD terminology is SO frustrating. It makes me so mad to see terfs making all these wild, inaccurate, transphobic, and interphobic comments about pcos and other intersex variations! I hate DSD terminology so much and hate when terfs start using it in weird ways.

You're definitely not alone in your frustration lmao!

[kirfluffbon]

Transfeminine readings of Anthy are a good way of weeding out bioessentialists who believe a story about girlhood and patriarchy must strictly be about cis girlhood - when in reality, everything that Anthy represents can just as easily, if not more suitably be applied if she is a trans woman.

[uncanny-tranny]

"If men got periods/needed abortion/got ovarian or breast cancer, those resources would be handed out like candy! They'd be more plentiful than ATMs!!"

You mean perisex cis men. You mean perisex cis men. Say what you mean.

I'm a trans man. I avoid all medical care because ninety percent of my doctors have not treated me properly because I am a trans man. I am acutely aware that doctors would be more than happy to not provide me care on the basis of my being trans, even if it costed my life.

Every time I so much as think about the doctors, I'm reminded of men like Robert Eads - of how my care is at the whim of the opinions a doctor has about my life. And because of my own past negative experiences, I hesitate to open my patient portal to schedule an appointment. When I have gotten a good doctor, it's not been the rule, it's the exception. I have a doctor right now who I'm lucky to see, who actually treats me like a human being. I'm celebrating that a doctor finally treats me like a person.

If you want to group all men as being the same, I hope you're willing to have that blood on your hands. Because that care is routinely kept away from men, and it's a real, tangible, systemic issue.

I don't talk about this because I see being trans as this negative thing, but because I want to continue living and I want my trans siblings to live. I understand the frustration that people have who say this - it's another systemic issue that also costs lives. However, I am alarmed at the trend of... forgetting or perhaps erasing that this is still an issue for men, that we literally aren't treated the same as somebody like a cis perisex woman. No doctor has ever treated me like one, and of that I know for a fact. And this is a simple fix - be clear about who you mean when you talk about a group of people or a specific phenomenon. That applies when you are talking about any group of people because, generally, these overgeneralizations will be useless because it can't apply to everyone, and might just hurt a group of people you may not even be intending on hurting.

[communistkenobi]

I was listening to Behind The Police (podcast about the history of American policing) recently and at one point the hosts were discussing the tendency of white supremacist/fascist violence to have this element of absurdity to it - ie, people dressing up in white KKK robes and calling themselves wizards while attacking black people - and the point of this is to deny their victims the decency of “straightforward” experiences of violence. To later recount that a group of wizards attacked you makes you to sound absurd to whoever you’re talking to, and it becomes more difficult to make sense of. it’s all “just a joke bro.” your discomfort and fear and confusion and pain is the punchline. and modern right wing discourse is so laughably deranged as to be a joke in itself (perhaps best epitomised by the now-memetic phrase “the fluoride in the water is making the frickin’ frogs gay”), but this is of course deliberate. the rhetoric of “satanic pedophiles are sacrificing children in the basement of a pizza restaurant” or whatever is employed because it distracts from the real message they’re trying to deliver (ie, antisemitism). it isn’t just a denial of reality but a very particular form of cruelty that makes it more difficult for the victims of right wing violence to be taken seriously, to make sense of what’s happened to them.

and it feels like the same thing is happening now with transphobia - rhetoric that insists on “protecting children” from trans people while the US is actively loosening their child labour laws (x) (x). this isn’t a case of mere “hypocrisy,” this is rhetorically deliberate. the rank absurdity and insincerity of their words is meant to deny you the ability to think clearly, to distract you, to make you sound like a crazy person, to enrage you, all the while they get to carry on as if they aren’t saying or doing any of these things

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I expected nothing less from a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops, with gentle hands and a heart of a fighter