#transcribed it because it was hell to read on mobile
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Transcript:
Never thought I'd read a story that so effectively captures why life in a broken system is worth living
I grew up in Iraq. When people hear this in the US, where I now live, they usually say: "Wow...that must have been hard."
I mean? I guess? I've been a couple hundred meters from ISIS bombings. The government is spectacularly dysfunctional. You never know when the electricity might be on. Most summer days are 50 C. The tap water is salty.
And I also love the wonky little generators people wire everywhere. I love the weird shark statue with Saddam torn off the top. I love the guys fishing in the river despite the fact that it's greenish black. I love how excited everyone gets about the government building one tiny new overpass. I also love the random overpass sitting in the desert connected to zero roads. I love hearing our friend giggle as my dad ribs him for driving a Toyota Hilux, a favorite of terrorists transporting weapons. I love stray cats that carefully pick their way over the barbed wire on our walls. I love the people who run towards a bombing instead of away because they want to help the survivors. I love the guy who fixed my glasses with a wrong-sized screw because he lived through sanctions and doesn't need dumb things like correctly-sized screws.
But its almost impossible to explain this to most Americans. They picture a normal Iraqi life and think it would be their worst nightmare. So I'm used to just not sharing that part of my life, or ever seeing it in media.
So this game totally caught me off guard. We're in a setting in between apocalypses, starring an alcoholic fuckup from a corrupt occupier-aligned police force, who at best might keep a couple people from dying in a gang war. It's pretty bleak. It's also incredibly fucking joyful.
Just the prose alone is so sincere. You can't write stuff this goofy, flowery, beautiful, dumb, and moving ironically. The writers clearly love words far out of proportion to how much they might be able to actually change fundamentally broken systems.
And all the characters, the worldbuilding details, the interruptions from Shivers and Esprit de Corps, hell, all the bits and pieces of your brain. There's so much attention and thus so much love in this game for humans and what humans do. Doesn't matter if they all might get shot, blown up, or wiped clean by pale in a couple of years. Doesn't matter if they brought it all on themselves. Right here, in this moment, they are human, and so they matter.
I feel like this game gets why my life in Iraq was worth living. Even if a lot of my Americans think the world sure would be nicer and simpler if Iraqis just didn't exist.
I thought I had signed up for a fun 20-30 hour diversion, not the feeling of being loved?!
an Iraqi gamer's beautiful review of Disco Elysium
#disco elysium#they hit the nail on the head i think#for how bleak it all seems there's always a joy in being alive#transcribed it because it was hell to read on mobile#hope it makes it easier for someone else
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I desperately, desperately wish that the accepted method for copying a twitter thread onto tumblr were to screenshot the first tweet, then transcribe the thread as text into a tumblr post, ideally with a source link in the first reblog (because, of course, linking offsite in an OP makes the post unsearchable, since we live in hell).
That would just be so much fuckign easier for me to read and understand, and it wouldn’t require image descriptions to be added on by other people later in the reblog chain, and it would still provide credit and sourcing, and honestly we just live in the worst timeline.
Because the reason that isn’t the accepted methodology is that both twitter and tumblr make copy-pasting text fucking impossible on mobile devices.
Anyway, destroy capitalism or whatever.
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Talks Machina at Gen-Con Q&A Highlights
Note: This only has the audience q&a portion. Cast answers are transcribed, side-comments and banter are only included if they are relevant to/answer the question posed. Apologies in advance to mobile-users if the read-more doesn't work - this is tagged as #long post if you want to blacklist it.
[[MORE]]
Q: For Matt; might we expect any possible homebrew releases coming out in the next year or so, like dunamancy?
Matt: I have plans. I can't say anything because I want things to be cool and surprising. But I have plans don't worry. It's not that I don't care, it's that I don't have time, but I'm working on it.
Q: For Taliesin; what would make Caduceus really angry?
Taliesin: I will say that he can get angry. It does happen. Juvenile disrespect does eventually get to him. Not a fan of pranking. I mean, you know, everybody's got some layer - there's some stuff. No one's that serene all the time. No one.
Q: For Taliesin; at the end of the Call of Cthulhu oneshot, you mentioned that you had a lot of mouse traps set up. I was just wondering, were the shadow people the most dangerous thing they could've released, or was there a more dangerous horror waiting that they managed to avoid?
Taliesin: I mean, if the cats had been released first, that would have definitely been an interesting thing. The cats would have been a problem. Also, if somebody had died really early, I was setting up a series of rules for dead players to continue to interact, which would have been really really unhappy and bad. And terrible rules for the things that were living behind the glass, and if you were stuck behind the glass, you were right there with them and they could really mess with you. Thankfully none of that happened.
Q: For Matt; you have the Tal'dorei Campaign Setting - I was wondering if you were going to do one for The Mighty Nein campaign?
Matt: I don't have a lot of time. Campaign settings are extensive. I'd like to eventually do something like that. I have materials, it's just assembling them in a way that can be legible by a non-crazy human being that I am. Hopefully! We'll see as time goes on. At the moment, we're consumed with this animated series that you guys helped make happen. Super excited about that. Keep an eye out as time goes on, because hopefully I'd like to get around to that. That'd be awesome.
Q: For Matt; what the hell was up with the undead vibe on Jamedi Cosko?
Matt: Yeah, that's crazy huh? That's a pretty weird thing. Yeah, there was something about him that gives off an undead vibe. Wonder what that means? I appreciate the question, but I don't know if that'll come back into play in some time. Let's see if it gets explored at some point, and if not at least I could tell you at the campaign wrap-up.
Q: For Travis; for the animated series, a lot of the characters have iconic catchphrases so I was wondering how you're going to translate "I would like to rage"?
Travis: Are we going to "translate" that? I think he's just going to say "I would like to rage". Yeah, we are definitely keeping iconic lines, moments, interactions, all those things will be there just as they were.
Taliesin: I'll also add to that - if you want to see somebody doing that and taking things that shouldn't actually work in-game and making them work in-game, Jody Houser is doing a great job in the comic book series of making you feel like somehow Matt is intertwined in everything that happens, it's kind of cool. Check it out!
Q: For Taliesin; a lot of comparisons have been thrown around between Fjord and Percy, and something that I noticed was Uk'otoa is being much more insistent than Orthax was - do you think if Orthax was as insistent and as keen on punishment, Percy might've gone a similar direction as Fjord?
Taliesin: Honest to God, and this is just from watching, I don't think Percy had nearly as strong a will as Fjord does. Watching Travis play Fjord was definitely like, "I did not have the balls to pull that off, oh my God." Percy was never about the hard choice, it was always about "what's the option C that I haven't figured out yet, there's a way to game my way out of this, if I just keep talking I can get everything to work" until the very end. Like chicken? Percy doesn't play chicken.
Laura (using Vex's voice): From firsthand knowledge, Percy does curtail very easily.
Matt: If you actually recall, Percy didn't even make the choice. Scanlan did for him.
Q: For Laura; when can we get a Caduceus tea set?
Laura: Oh, I heard a lot of "ooh's". Who would buy a Caduceus tea set? [audience applause] Well, shit, maybe I should look into it.
Sam: That's so many more people than who voted for me.
Brian: Not to be That Guy, lets just see how long his character lives, before we start making merchandise around him.
Q: For Sam; you are kind of the king of over-the-top and ostentatious whether it be with your character design, or your flasks, or things like that, and especially your outfits at the live events - how do you come up with these over-the-top creations and also how on earth do you plan on topping last night?
Sam: That last part will be hard. I think next year, I'll either come out totally naked or I'll just be so basic - pleated khakis, a polo shirt, I don't know. That outfit last night, it was pieced together from several different stores, I'm sure CritRoleCloset will figure it out at some point. But it was a challenge putting that together. And then, my fellow cast members, like two weeks after I bought all that weird stuff I wore, they were like, "hey let's go goth". So. Fuck you guys.
Q: For Travis; with Fjord's recent decision, do you see him changing outfits to fit his new or old persona?
Travis: I don't think so. Most of Fjord's armor was very piece-mail stuff that he got either from working on the docks, or stuff that he got from Vandren, or items that he was given just as he sort of accrued time and responsibility where he worked. I think that stuff's very dear to him, especially coming from an orphanage where he didn't have any possessions, so all those things that are actually his are very dear to him. He might add to those things, but I think underneath they'll stay there. He might augment them or change them a little bit, in the same way you would draw on your jeans in school or whatever, but that stuff's his so it means a lot to him.
Q: For Travis; after Fjord severed his pact with Uk'otoa, was there a larger fear in telling Beau and Jester what had happened, since he had been traveling with them the longest out of the Nein, or did his journeys with the Nein make that fear equal across all of the party?
Travis: I think actually he was worried about telling Beau and Jester the least, and maybe Caduceus in there as well. He knew he would hear about it from Nott, and Caleb had already sort of started to call him on his shit and saw through a lot of that stuff. He also regards the group as very powerful, so I think a lot of it is turning to his very powerful and talented friends and saying, "I don't have any of that anymore, I hope I can still play with you guys." Legit though, the response was amazing. It was absolutely incredible. Jester is so gregarious and loving and joyful and exuberant that I don't think he was worried about that, I think he was actually looking forward to telling her as one of the first people to know. And Beau is second-mate, so like ride-or-die or right?
Q: For Taliesin; I can totally be wrong for this, but just reading body language and facial features, there do seem to be moments where you're kind of just like, "I'm done with this" - I just kind of want advice, like how do you keep playing when your energy level might be low or you don't like where the story is going?
Taliesin: Oh, that is never "I'm done with this", what you're seeing is the "I'm trying to make sure no one notices that I'm reading my backstory notes". That's me reading, frantically. I'm a big believer in terror, terror is a great way to keep me up. "Oh God, I don't remember anybody's name, oh God how many siblings do I have oh God."
Marisha: Well, also you write your backstories like the Silmarillion, it's like, so intense. I'm like "my dad was mean to me" like that's my backstory.
Q: For Sam; based on the amazing reaction we've had to your DnDBeyond theme and the Critical Role theme, when can we expect a parody version of the 2010 hit "Like a G6" by Far East Movement as "Like a d6"?
Sam: Oh wow, that's good.
Marisha: Not to be that person, it already exists. The Library Bards did it. So, you should check it out. I mean, do a cover, Sam, I don't know.
Sam: There are more songs incoming, just so you know.
Q: For Matt; you say dunamancy can alter the reality and the fate of the person that wields it - is this an affront to the Raven Queen?
Matt: I would say, given the fact that elements of dunamancy deal with the manipulation of probability, destiny, things like that, the Raven Queen is probably not that cool with dunamancy. Just throwing that out there. One of the few things she's probably like, "Really, guys?" So yeah, I'd say you're on the right track.
Q: For Laura and Travis; do you talk to Ronin about your campaign?
Laura: So, Ronin, every Thursday night he stays with a babysitter at home, but he watches the opening of the show. Like, he loves the theme song so much. I sing it every time I change his diaper.
Travis: Same, like I know there's songs that parents sing to their kids - he's heard the damn theme song every day of his life.
Brian: But do you guys change the lyrics though, like "You shit your pants, I'm cleaning it up now", you know what I mean?
Liam: My kids bust into that song constantly. We cannot play a board game or anything. Someone goes "it's your turn" "TO ROLL" every time.
Q: For Marisha; I'm a huge fan of Jocks Machina and hopefully we'll get to see them on the channel one day - will Beau ever join Jocks Machina?
Marisha: What are the requirements, are there prerequisites for joining Jocks Machina? You're kind of the authority on this.
Travis: Guns. Abs. Likes to lift heavy things. Likes to break a sweat. Likes to whoop that ass.
Marisha: Check. Check. ...Check? Check. Hell yeah.
Q: For Matt; this is a rather involved conspiracy theory question, so excuse me - last year when the party was in Shady Creek Run at the Landlocked Lady Inn, they first arrived and there was a doorman named Champ who Keg knew. The next morning, they went down and there was a new doorman who said he'd been working for the Marduns for a few months and had bright red curly hair and vibrant green eyes and acted rather enigmatic and shady and shifty and was saying they should listen more and that he hoped that whatever they were after, they were on the right path. Later, once they recover everyone, Jester is asking the Traveler where he was, and he says he was always there. So my question is this: was that character the Traveler in disguise?
Matt: [several moments of silence]
Matt: That'd be pretty interesting, huh? That's a unique observation. I will confirm nor deny.
Q: For Matt; now that Fjord has effectively broken up with Uk'otoa, what do you think would be a more compelling storyline, or what are you most interested to see: him continue to take levels in warlock, possibly with an Archfey patron, or paladin...?
Matt: Part of what I really enjoy about this game is how the players continuously surprise me. I'm down to see what journey Travis wants to take. I'm curious to see how he takes this next path in his journey and which elements he wants to maintain, what direction he wants to go - he seems to be really finding interest in the Wildmother and talking to Caduceus about that, and that's kind of been an element of breaking that pact at the time, so I'm curious if he's going to continue down that path or see this as a blank slate to continue to grow. I'm interested to see the different decisions that Fjord takes, and Travis does through Fjord, and kind of adjust and build the narrative for that character around that. I can't say I have a specific path that I'm hoping for, because I have no idea what Travis's direct interest is, beyond just the actions he's taken in the game. Yeah, I'm just excited to see where it goes. I really love the idea of not knowing that as the Dungeon Master. As much as it's me building and world-planning, many of you out there who run games as GM know the most exciting part of the game is after all that prep, coming to the table and the players completely surprise you, and you kind of have to think on your feet and go with it. That's the best part of the game for me.
Q: For Marisha; what inspired you to play Beau a bit more shaken about her near-death than some of the other characters?
Marisha: Well, I was at 2 hit points the whole time - Liam can attest to that. So you know, I was kind of role-playing that. Shit's crazy man.
Q: For Liam; so you play your characters, both Vax and Caleb, very emotionally without any hesitation, and you're an experienced actor. What I wanted to ask was, something that people who try to emulate Critical Role don't realize that can happen when you try to put yourself into the character and get emotionally invested is character bleed. I was wondering how you deal with that, if you do at all. Like, if something really emotionally devastating happens to Vax or to Caleb, how does it affect you and how do you deal with it?
Liam: These feel like synthetic memories, so any time the superimposed fantasy friend gets killed or has to leave or whatever happens - that shit we carry around and get upset about. Every time we leave on a cliffhanger and someone's gonna die, we think about it constantly. Vax helped me sort through things, but made me more loyal and determined and willing to take chances - which in life I generally try to avoid conflict. Caleb, I still kind of drive around and think about him and still go, like "why did you do that?" He's really messed up, if I just think like, fireballs and cats like it's fun, and we can make dick jokes and it's fun. But if I really take a minute, I just go "Oh". I feel bad for him, I feel really bad for him. I have fun playing the game, and I love these guys, and I feel bad for my character.
Follow-up Q: Do you have ways that you learned to process that, like if you're at home feeling bummed about something that happened on a Thursday night, and you're like "man I need to get out of this funk"?
Liam: Yeah, I pull my head out of the game. I'll play a game with my kid, or watch a movie with my wife, or go running. Running is great. Not for your knees, but everything else. Or spend time with these guys out of the game. There's lots of ways. We're really invested in their stories, so it sort of drags along like coattails wherever we go.
Matt: To give you examples too, when he says "hanging out with friends", the group that's there, your friends that are in this game that you trust enough? You should all also support each other when those dark moments happen outside of the game. Whenever we lose a character in the game, we have like a wake. We go to an Irish pub that we go to often in Burbank, and we all get drinks and we have a wake for that character. And it's part of that process too. Even though it's imaginary, there's a part of that experience and journey that's come to an end and that deserves its respect as well, and we're all there to support the player. As a playing group, be there for your friends who may be going through that experience, because even though it is make-believe and it's a game, that is still a loss. And that's not a bad thing either. Loss is an important thing to process, because life comes with loss. Part of the wonderful experiences of role-playing games is that it allows us a safe space to explore very positive and very negative emotions in a healthy way and make us better people for it. So just be there for them, be supportive, and be the best friends and co-players you can be.
Liam: Part of the reason, I think, that we get upset when these fictional characters are killed is because we're playing this game of imagination together, and we form a chemistry together where we're like "we get to do this together, and it's always like this, and you're always funny like that, and you're always intense like this" and we really love that chemistry. Then somebody gets killed and they're gone, and that chemistry, which is something that we're like addicted to and love, that chemistry is gone. Like, when Molly was gone. Beau and Molly had this great "fuck you" "fuck you" butting heads thing - that's gone. We're actors, but anyone who plays this game extensively, you love the sort-of second life that you create for yourself and then when the character is gone, you don't have that unique mix anymore.
Q: For Laura; I really love how you play Vex and Jester, even though as two characters, they're pretty different from each other. But sometimes, you have an instance where like, your Laura shows. So I actually just wanted to ask, what was the biggest disconnect you've ever experienced between player versus character? If you've ever felt like, you as a person, as a player, would never ever make a choice in a situation versus what your character would do in that same situation.
Laura: I feel like everything my characters do, I wouldn't do in real life. Like, especially Jester. Travis and I have had these conversations: the joy of playing a character like Jester or like Grog, where you don't have to filter yourself - everybody, I assume, has these random really stupid things that pop up in your brain and you don't say them because everyone would judge you, and they're weird - and as these characters, you just embrace it, and it is so much fun. Talk about character bleed - it is an issue that I deal with now, because Jester has had that effect on me, and so I tend to say stupider things in real life now. No, but I would never deface anything in public, I would never steal anything.
Travis: You're not gonna attach any dicks on the walls.
Laura: I would not attach a dick to a wall in public. Or anywhere. I do eat a lot of donuts though, that's on me.
Q: For Matt; we've explored several places in the multiverse in your games, like the City of Brass, the Feywild, places like that - are there any places in the multiverse like the Astral Sea or somewhere that you, either as a player or as a GM, would have liked to have gone but have never had the time or resources to do?
Matt: Interesting. I do have some places that I really would like to explore, whether in this campaign or campaigns down the road. Astral Sea is interesting, it's a really weird amorphous plane, and I just love the prospect of one day throwing an Astral Dreadnought at these poor guys. He's my second to the Tarrasque. Oh they're fun, they're a good time. I've always loved Planescape. The City of Sigil would be great for obvious reasons of course. So I can be like, "no guys, this is where I learned my wrong pronunciation". But the City of Doors is awesome. Lady of Pain is a great element. Those who watched the Search for Bob oneshot, there was a Lady of Pain reference dropped in there. If you missed it, you can go back and look. Maybe there's a few doors in Sigil that lead to Exandria, who knows. Think about that for your home campaigns, huh? I want to go into some deep Abyssal planes too. We've been to the City of Dis, we've seen a little bit of the Nine Hells of Baator, though maybe not the harsher places. There's so many to explore!
Q: For Sam; Matt has said on Twitter that one of the ways you guys handle the pressures of the Kickstarter and the intense dramatic moments in the campaign is by checking in with each other and checking in on each other's mental health. I know you take on a lot of responsibilities with doing the DnDBeyond ads and the songs that you write and also your characters are often joking around with other characters and giving them a hard time so I was wondering, from your perspective, if you could give some details, without giving away anything too personal, on how to properly mentally check-in with your fellow players and just help everybody and check that everybody is doing okay.
Sam: Well, I'm learning from these guys, as we go, how best to do that. I'm weird in that, as weird as I am on-screen, I don't really talk very much when we're off-screen, or I keep my stuff to myself, more than some of these guys do. But they have, in the last few years, helped me sort of connect more with my best friends here. You know, we do check in a lot with each other, thanks to Matt and thanks to all of us. For instance, yesterday morning we all had breakfast together. It was really nice - we just talked about stuff, and it was just great to just sort of reconnect with everybody. I'm not an expert at this in any way, and in fact, on this stage, I am the least good at it, but I have endeavoured to become better at it. Opening yourself up to your friends and feeling comfortable enough to share your past or your worries for the future with your friends and not getting any judgement back is like, the greatest gift. If you have that with one person, it's amazing. If you have that with all of these people? Holy moly, it's the greatest thing in the world. I've tried to be better at sharing my stuff with them and being there for them. That's all I can do.
Q: For Marisha; in campaign one with Vox Machina, there's a lot of powerful badass lady NPCs, so if by chance, it all worked out timewise, who do you think Beau would be most likely to have a crush on?
Marisha: Kima. Yeah. Keyleth very much emulated Allura, and really looked up to her and kind of looked at her as a powerful female figurehead and took notes for leadership through her. Beau would just wanna fuck.
Q: For Liam; what do characters do in the campaign that you find funny no matter how old it gets?
Liam: Everybody throw in on this one. I'll never get over Laura waggling her eyebrow every third word in the game.
Taliesin: Slow snicker every time there's even vaguely a possibility of a dick joke.
Travis: I'd say every time there's a pain reaction out of Nott. It is hysterical to me.
Liam: I like any time, just the concept of death comes up or Molly - anywhere, in the game, out of the game - one of these people would be like, "Like you, you're dead!"
Laura: Uk'otoa.
Q: For Laura; do you think the volcano would be a good spot for Traveler on?
Laura (using Jester's voice): Okay here's the thing. Like, I totally did at first and I need to talk to him, because I think that now it's probably not, because it wasn't very expansive really, as big as I thought it would be, and there wasn't like a lot of beds, and like, no real good food. So, I don't know how many people are coming, but like, even just getting to the nearest hotel was really difficult, you know?
Matt: I love the idea that half of your sketchbook is Jester's tiny Yelp reviews of locations in Wildemount.
Q: For Laura; with all of the throwback to Vox Machina and Whitestone in the week before, how are you feeling with all of it?
Laura: I'm feeling very nostalgic.
Laura (using Vex's voice): Also, I would love for everyone to come visit.
Marisha (using Keyleth's voice): Me as well.
Laura (using Jester's voice): And also, if we did, I think we would cause a lot of problems.
Marisha: New pitch - Travelercon at Whitestone. We know the food is good, lots of lodging and room and board, no dead people in trees anymore.
Laura: All of the residuum that you could ever hope for.
Brian: And endless booze.
[Panel end]
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Demon Splicing and Why the Clones Failed.
This is more like a research paper than a fan theory, but hey, I had fun. I’ll try to improv some citations at the bottom, but I don’t guarantee that Tumblr will let me keep them there.
Now, this is a HUGE, MASSIVE, LONG-ASS POST, and once more it is ultra-sciencey; so if you have any confusions, questions, or want to just look the other way and just go “eh, magic” then that is totally okay. I don’t, and won’t, claim to be any kind of authority on these things; I just needed an excuse to open my computer again and I guess do some intense research into etymology (that would be the study of anything with an exoskeleton, basically. I promise it is very much relevant to this theory.).
Summary/TLDR: Demons need specific qualities in their hosts in order to suit themselves, ergo they modify their host’s bodies by using Mutually symbiotic viruses, akin to those of the Polydnaviridae ingroup which coexists within several genera of parasitoid wasps, to alter the human genome. What we explore here is how they do so. Also, because it is intrinsically connected, we will also be dipping our toes into why, exactly, the clones weren’t “suitable” in all instances, as well as how demons may or may not select their hosts. This circles back to my previous post discussing the Twin’s and Paternity, and specifically the topic of genetic expression, though you do not need to have seen or read that post to understand what I’m talking about here. Also discussed is the matter of genes that humans lack, but which would seem to find their way in during possession; the production of feathers, the formation of additional limbs, proteins, and such which are simply not within the power of any existing virus we know of to alter .
One thing must lead to another however, so before we get into the biological science, we need to get into the hypothetical, cosmological stuff that is quantum physics. Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?
Demons and DNA:
We know from that one elusive panel of chapter 44 ( I think...) that demons have genetics - they have genes, which implies that they have, at the very least, DNA. The question then is how, but more so where - where did those genes come from?. Demons don’t have physical bodies, right...? Why would they need DNA?
Because maybe some of them do possess actual, physical “bodies”, or at least cells, that preside in Gehenna.
The Demon Kings are quite likely to be an exception rather than a rule, considering they were the first demons to have come into existence, or at the very least the first demons to have ever attained bodies -- which is precisely how demonkind may have obtained DNA in the first place, via a phenomena called horizontal transference.
Now, I’m going to contradict, in a sense, my other post here, and tell you to forget what you were taught about viruses in high school. Virology is a complicated school of biology, and viruses are extremely simple, and yet extremely complex organisms. Now, viruses typically contain RNA which allows the virus to reproduce once it is injected into the cells of its host by combining viral RNA with eukaryotic (for the sake of simplicity) DNA.
However, there are strains of viruses that contain DNA, not RNA. No one is completely sure how these viruses evolved, but one theory would suggest that these dnaviruses “stole” part of their genetic material from the hosts they evolved with, incorporating pieces of lipids and proteins to turn their RNA into functional DNA; this process of one organism “stealing” DNA from another is called horizontal transference, and it is how bacteria and other asexually reproducing organisms maintain genetic diversity and “evolve”.
But, you ask, how the bloody hell does a Virus have DNA? How does it replicate?
When most people think of viruses, they think of mobile ones, pathogenic ones - but dnaviruses are not usually pathogenic, instead highjacking the excretory or reproductive systems of their hosts and using their reproductive cells to spread genealogically from parent to offspring. One well-studied example of this is the polydnavirus found in Ichneumon wasps, which are themselves parasitoid. They reproduce by injecting their eggs into the bodies of paralyzed caterpillars, who then feed the hatching larvae with it’s living tissues. However, one problem the wasp faces with this method of reproduction is the caterpillar’s immune system, which could kill the eggs - were it not for the polydnavirus, which produces chemical signals that prevent the caterpillar’s immune system from destroying the precious egg that is it’s host cell. As the larvae develops, the polydnavirus is replicated into the cells of the larvae, and once it hatches it is literally born with the virus in it’s body. (I’ll let you go wild with the half-demon thing there, I’m here to talk about possession right at the moment.)
Ok, ok, but what does this have to do with demons? after all, demon possession is, in a way, “contagious” since demons can go from host to host.
Welcome then, to the world of multi-viral mutual symbiosis - fancy way of saying viruses can work together to meet the ends of one another in a host if it benefits both viruses. Demons may possess some form of this event, being somehow sentient (by means perhaps of primitive, conductive cells not unlike what you would find in a jellyfish) but ultimately composed of or utilizing not only one, but several strains of viruses to fulfil their parasitic ends, one which allows them to infect the host and modify existing DNA, and one which can incorporate it’s own DNA into that of the host to bring about desirable conditions. To that, I must add as a courtesy that those primitive conductive cells which could, in a way, offer sentience, may in fact be what comprises the physical manifestations of demon’s hearts. None of this is, of course, to explain demon magic, which is a subject I do intend to breach one of these days - but not today. Today, we do science.
This goes away to explain why Todou sprouted feathers, a phenomena that would not have otherwise been biologically possible given the constraints of human protein structure. That isn’t to say that it would be impossible for a virus to modify via RNA transcription keratinoid proteins to form hollow attachments, which is exactly what you find in polar bears and porcupines, but the structure of feathers is, I’m afraid, just too far off the mammalian path for it to be but a 0.03% likelihood via RNA transcription alone, meaning that it would have to have been the result of DNA that isn’t human.
Speaking of statistical probabilities:
Cloning and the Failure Thereof
Humanity has a hollywood-induced idea that cloning organisms is a fail-less system, when that could not be further from the truth. In point of fact, only about 3% of all attempted cloning experiments with everything from fish to sheep produce viable, healthy clones. This is because cloning is done, kind of ironically, in much the same way as a virus operates; by using the DNA and RNA of the existing mother’s cell’s to complete the chromosomal pairing up that normally happens in the zygote during fertilization. Because of this, the RNA transcribes, ideally, the same exact DNA code that the “mother” has; but here again we get into genetic expression, because though a clone is genetically the same as it’s parent, it is exactly BECAUSE it is genetically identical that recessive (and often in the case of some experimental animals, fatal) traits and gene combinations can occur, depending on exactly how the original, zygotic DNA is copied. Even when using the RNA of the same organism, transcription errors naturally occur -- and they occur so frequently, in fact, that very few cloning attempts are ever successful; that is, they either produce genetically weak, fatal-combination, infertile, or underdeveloped offspring that ultimately can’t be re-cloned or which can not reproduce, and therefore negate the incentive to clone an organism for it’s “healthy genes”.
Connecting the dots:
When a demon is cloned, it’s human DNA is cloned; but so are the genetic modifications of the dnavirus, which is why clones seem to have human superpowers. They are no loner 100% genetically human, and that opens the door to all kinds of genetic complications and probably meant that thousands, not hundreds, of clones were “discarded”, and hundreds died before they even lived. Simply put, it’s an absolute bloody miracle that the cloning thing worked at all, much less that Lucifer was able to remotely perfect the technique.
How he did so is not so much a mystery though; unlike what you would assume, with mammals at least, the more often you re-clone a clone, the “cleaner” it’s genetic code seems to become by phenomena of natural selection and artificial selection; clones with good genes are re-cloned, clones exhibiting bad genes are culled or die on their own, and so on and so on until you get a good sized population of identical clones. With the added fuel of the elixir to make growth happen phenomenally fast, it’s not too surprising that he has a private stock of cloned bodies to inhabit whenever he likes. (Which gave me big Orochimaru vibes, just sayin’).
As for the RNA virus body, I suspect that is retained with the demon at all times, which makes sense because once and RNA virus stops replicating it’s RNA into the host, the host cells re-fix the “broken” codes and eventually replaces the alien DNA created by the virus with it’s own; however, a dnavirus’ DNA gets worked semi-permanently into the system of it’s host, since it has it’s own completed code which is then, reversedly, transcribed over and over by the host’s RNA transcription, which is why dnaviruses went undetected by science until about 20 years ago, and why, God forbid, if there was ever a pathogenic dnavirus, we would all be royally screwed because even the best immune system on earth can’t detect a dnavirus because our immune systems rely on identification markers dependent on RNA viruses; oddly, however, so does every other organism, meaning there literally is not a single living thing, including caterpillars and spiders who are victims directly of “pathogenic” polydnaviruses, has an immune system that could find the damn things. They utilize the host’s own RNA to transcribe their DNA, and therefore go almost completely undetected by whatever they infect.
Speaking of which, let’s talk about:
Immunity and Prions
If Demons rely on RNA viruses to primarily infect their host, then it would make sense why some people would be more resistant than others; however, there is a compelling aspect of demon possession which makes me think that it is the other way around - everyone is resistant, until they are not.
Demons typically possess bodies which have weak-minded and psychologically stressed individuals behind them. Stress weakens the immune system, but it does so in specific ways; and certain viruses in real life are programmed to take advantage of these specific measures more than others.
Right now in the US, there is a nasty epidemic of CWD, Chronic Wasting Disease, spreading through native deer populations on the east coast. This “zombie disease” is a virus that infects the nervous system of the deer (along with cattle and sheep) and forms prions - folded proteins that are then replicated, and replicated, and replicated; and like cancer of the brain, they just keep on replicating and replicating, eating up the animal’s energy reserves and drastically impacting their behavior and bodily functions, starting by supressing and outright destroying their immune system. Mad Cow Disease is a more famous example of a prion disease in the same family as CWD, except that those prions migrate; they move into the soft tissues of the animal and make every single part of it impossible to eat without also contracting the prion, which contains the virus; and MCD is not remotely picky about it’s host, since it affects a very basic protein structure. Any and everything from birds to reptiles to humans can be infected by MCD and it is completely fatal.
My point is, that CWD and MCD both primarily infect animals exhibiting high levels of stress hormones, which is why outbreaks happen primarily during the breeding seasons for these animals. Not only that, but the virus then directly attacks the animal’s immune systems and opens them up to every kind of secondary infection you can imagine.
However, prion diseases and even just plain old viruses can do the exact opposite as well. HIV is a common virus that kills you by making your immune system hyperresponsive, not by shutting it down; it becomes so responsive, in fact, that it attacks healthy tissues. Prion diseases which affect insects also do this, creating folded proteins in the nervous system of the bug that trigger it’s immune system to continuously flood the body with antibodies until it is just too exhausted to do so, and the insect’s body decays as a result of secondary infection.
It could be that this is the case of demons as well. Prions would be valuable in affecting the behavior of the host, though not necessary; they would, however, make the ingestion of a possessed person almost guaranteed to infect you, since most viruses just don’t have the defenses on their own to tackle stomach acid, but a prion virus does.
To recap:
Demons use DNA and RNA viruses to infect and modify their host to their liking, perhaps using the assistance of prions to aid in endurance and transmissibility. Because of this, cloning is a gamble of “what DNA will I pull out of the box today” since the DNA virus’ DNA, and possibly even any prions, is left behind even after the parasitic demon leaves; however, the RNA virus is inert once it leaves a host body, and therefore is retained by the demon within whatever primitive cells they may carry in their demon hearts, which may be taken from some immutable “form” or body that they possess on the other side of the divide (in Gehenna); these alien forms may be the byproduct of their first ever possession, using, perhaps, horizontal transference to absorb some of the DNA from their first (and possibly even subsequent) host and then re-incorporate it into subsequent hosts, which is how Amaimon would be reptilian in spite of having a mammal body; because he perhaps, first possessed or found genetic favor of a reptile of some kind and “borrowed” the DNA from them via horizontal transference, since it worked for him. This can then be applied in turn to all other demons, or at least demon kings.
DISCLAIMER:
I spent literally a week researching this stuff, but I am welcome to criticism of my shoddy work. Also, I am in no way saying this is technically right; it’s just a theory after all, and you’re more than welcome to disagree. :)
If anyone wants to add on, feel free. :) I think I’m done for the week.
#blue exorcist#Ao no Exorcist#fan theory#sorry for the long post#I don't claim to be an expert#hopefully tumblr lets me have those citations#if they don't show up I'm sorry#I tried
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I never understood this about Shadow, why does he even work with GUN?
*rubs my gay little hands together*
Finally it’s time for my analysis of GUN, the current GUN commander, Shadow’s relationship with both of them and speculations on the future…………..
warning: it’s actually gonna get……….. really wild. This turned out to be mainly an analysis of the GUN commander because he is the main factor that influences shadows decision but im… hoooo boy.
TLDR;
The commander is a Robotnik and the character development he went through, paired with Shadows acceptance of his judgement + forgiveness of his actions, as well as their friendly bond by the end of the game, gave Shadow the feeling that it is a good idea to join forces with GUN to keep his promise to Maria in keeping the planet safe.
( +3k words; all referenced videos and audio files are transcribed for accessibility; sources/references at the bottom)
If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!
Okay so before we can make out why Shadow would join GUN, we should establish why people think he wouldn’t.
As you said, you can’t understand his decision (very understandably so), therefor let’s sum up why you feel like this, and then I’ll try to explain how all that can actually lead to him joining in the end.
We all know GUN is responsible for Maria’s death, so why would Shadow want to join them? It doesn’t make sense!
Well, you see, it doesn’t. Things don’t always make sense. Not on first sight anyways.
First thing we should note is that the current GUN commander (I’ll talk abt him a lot now) and his family were aboard the ARK during the time that Shadow was created. We don’t know why, as there are no hints towards his parents’ jobs. There are also little hints to GUN actually having employees up there.
It is confirmed that GUN was funding the ARK project and all scientists abroad, they probably had agents up there that would live among the scientists to make sure to report back to the base frequently and keep HQ up-to-date about new findings and development of the experiments.
If the future commander was aware of that, or his parents were part of GUN, is not clear.
Speculative it is to say that he probably saw the GUN soldiers in the big invasion that killed his family (his parents either were scientists that were exterminated so they wouldn’t talk, or they were GUN agents that chose to defend the scientists, or they were killed by the artificial chaos that went on a rampage*) as heroes, since he canonically blames Shadow for everything.
He did have a deep and strong fear of Shadow since the very beginning because he happened to see Gerald and Black doom in a room with Shadow together at one point in time and associated Shadow with the alien ever since. It’s possible he didn’t know about Maria being very close to him, or he tolerated it because it was her.
Actually.
Actually hold your fucking horses everyone I’m onto something.
Okay so… You know how the commander is super inconsistent with the whole family and Maria dying deal right?
SHADOW: Damn it! What does it all mean? These memories… thedoctor’s actions and words… nothing makes sense! Wasit real?
* - The GUN Commander walks up to Shadow, and points a handgun athim.
GUN COMMANDER: It’s been a long time… Shadow.
SHADOW: Who are you?! And how do you know my name?
GUN COMMANDER: I know you… Shadow the Hedgehog. You killedeveryone I��loved… myfamily… Maria. I’ve been waiting all my life for this day!
SHADOW: What?! Me… and Maria?
* - A younger GUN Commander and Maria are running in a hall on theARK. He hits his ass to taunt Maria, and she catches up to him.She holds him in place, but he starts running again.
GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Maria was like a sister to me. She wasthe only family I knew! And because of you… she waskilled!
* - The younger GUN-C gets to the door to Geral’d lab, and looksin the glass. Inside, Gerald and Black Doom are talking nearShadow’s pod.
GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Witnessing it all… the plan to createthat horrifying evil creature... that black creature, and that insane professor who unleashed it all!
* - As the pod starts to move, the young GUN-C starts screaming.The pod sits upright, and Shadow opens his eyes.
SHADOW: So… the professor created me… with Black Doom?
GUN COMMANDER: You don’t fool me! It’s not just about Maria.Thanks to you, everyone I knewand loved was killed when the ARK was destroyed. Worst of all, myfamily! Finally… justice is served!
I bolded everything that is important to my analysis,,,,
ANYWAYS AS I WAS SAYING.
The Commanders words about his family and Maria being killed are all jumbled. One moment Maria is the only family he had, the next everyone he knew and loved was killed. Among those people Maria and his family.
We have no canon confirmation as to who his family was and why they were killed on the ARK. (Read speculation above again if needed, marked with an *)So what if Maria was his family? What if he was a Robotnik himself?
Who says that he knew about Ivo’s parents?
He might be blood related, or adopted by Gerald.
How else would a kid end up on a Space Station that is primarily for scientific research? Maria and the future commander should logically be the only children up there, because Gerald brought them with him.
The commander witnessed Shadow’s creation and knows that Gerald was involved in it. He felt a deep hatred for Shadow, aswell as Gerald, for what happened. He mainly blames Shadow for the incident on ARK, but he also holds resentment towards Gerald for having created Shadow in the first place. (”The insane professor that unleashed it all!”)
This would imply that the commander refuses to see Gerald as part of his family anymore after that had happened, which would figuratively make Gerald “dead to him.” Maria would be the only family he had left after that, and she was killed on the ARK.
He was not there when it happened, he was escorted by GUN back to earth while Maria tried to defend Shadow and help him escape. He never got told how she died, he just, presumably, saw her on the list of victims.
This event shaped the commander into wanting to become someone who can protect the innocent from harm and prevent needless death.
We see his compassion in other cutscenes!
* - The Presiden’t helicopter touches down on the landing pad andseveral GUN soldiers run over to it. Slightly later, the GUNCommander helps the President walk to the control room. The Presidentsits down in a chair.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, are you all right?
PRESIDENT: Never mind me… What about the people of Central City?
GUN COMMANDER: No need to worry, sir. Orders were issuedyesterday, and everyone hasbeen evacuated to the safe zone.
[…]
GUN COMMANDER: So he’s finally decided to show himself. Attentionall command units! Mobilizeall Mech battle sections! Prepare all weapons to strikeincoming vessels! Mobilize “Diablon”!
GUN SOLDIR: But sir! It’s not ready yet!
GUN COMMANDER: I don’t care!! We have NO other option!! We MUSTprotect the President, andthe Chaos Emeralds, at all costs.
* - In the White House, the President is looking at Westopolisfrom the balcony. The sky is dark red/orange. The GUNCommander and two other soldiers come in through the door.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, your transport is ready. We must go now! Sir,please!
PRESIDENT: Once again… I have failed my duty to protect ournation.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, it’s not over! We can continue to fight. Theblack aliens may haverendered us unable for now, but we will rally, sir. You must keep yournation strong and together.
PRESIDENT: Yes, keep the nation united. No matter what happens,we’ll never surrender to these creatures.*looks at the picture of Sonic and Shadow* This much I learnedfrom them.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, please hurry.
PRESIDENT: Okay.
* - The President and the two soldiers start to leave. The GUNCommander looks at the picture the President keeps on his desk before leavinghimself.
GUN COMMANDER: The black creatures will feel their own bloodyHell!
Again, bold lines are important!
The commander made sure to evacuate the entire population of a major city that is based off the Washington metropolitan area with a populus of over 6 Million people within just one single day.
For reference I researched how long it normally takes to evacuate big cities in real life.
“At around 10 am on August 28, Mayor Ray Nagin declared a mandatory evacuation of the city, after Hurricane Katrina was updated to a Category 5, the strongest possible hurricane. By the time the hurricane hit, at around 7 AM on August 29, later studies revealed that around 90% of the New Orleans population left. That’s around one million people within 21 hours.
Preparations for Hurricane Katrina - Wikipedia
This is important, as we can guestimate just how long an evacuation could take, if we assume that the cities can evacuate at a similar rate to New Orleans. Doing the math, this means that New York City takes around 8 days to clear out, and Tokyo needs around two weeks or so.
Thing is, however, evacuation procedures will likely suffer because these cities are much larger than New Orleans, so you might need to add a few days to them.
So, it’s more likely that NYC and Tokyo would need at least two weeks before the cities could be cleared.”
source
So he really did something really amazing.
He prioritizes to keep the President and the chaos emeralds safe above anything else and risks unleashing a new and unreliable weapon; and against what you might think- that he’s selfish/doesn’t care about the citizens- the reason he prioritizes the emeralds over people….. 1) They’ve already been evacuated.2) If Black Doom gets all of the Chaos Emeralds there won’t be an Earth anymore. No Humanity. He can think critically and in advance yall.
Also consider how he gives the President hope, not to give up. He’s confident in his abilities as commander, and his his soldiers, to do whatever they can to keep the people of their country, and the entire world, save. And he also emphasizes that the nation themselves should not loose hope, that the President should be a positive influence and stand up against the intruders (the aliens).
He also says he’ll return “their bloody hell” to the aliens, which 1) references his association of Shadow with those aliens and his firm belief that Shadow killed Maria (and by extend his (grand?)father Gerald ?).2) references the fact that the aliens have taken countless of soldiers lives already and that he wishes to return that favour to their kind.
The commander is generally a justice loving person who will do anything in his power to do the right thing. When it comes to Shadow, though, he seems to not have his personal grudge towards him under control and he gets a little extreme with his idea of justice.
GUN COMMANDER: Shadow? Deploy the troops, NOW! And if you findShadow with the black aliens…then kill them all.
GUN SOLDIER: But sir, isn’t Shadow on our side–
GUN COMMANDER: I gave you an order, soldier! He’s evil and he’sthe enemy!
//
GUN COMMANDER: Alert all field commanders in Sector B. I’mauthorizing full use of alltactical weapons. I want both black aliens and Shadow stopped andburied. Failure, is not an option.
//
GUN COMMANDER: Hm-hm… It’s over, Shadow. You’ll finally beexposed and eradicated forthe evil that you are.
//
GUN COMMANDER (radio): Come in, Eclipse Cannon! He must be stoppedat all costs! Take him out... that’s an order!
//
GUN COMMANDER: Shadow! Damn you! It’s been fifty years… justicewill finally be served.*cocks handgun*
This emotional side of him is a great flaw in a man of his position, but also a great strength.
As we know he confronted Shadow about his hatred and literally attempted to personally kill him.
* - He fires his gun, but Shadow’s now standing behind theCommander, faced away from him, with his eyes closed.
SHADOW: If what you say is true, then I will respectfully acceptmy fate.
GUN COMMANDER: You mean to tell me that, you really don’t remembera thing?
SHADOW: But I just need some time… to uncover the real truth.
* - As Shadow walks off, the Commander looks at his gun and fallsto his knees.
Shadow admits to not remembering any of what he is saying, but that he will take responsibility for those things if it’s true (WHILE NOT EVEN REMEMBERING ANY OF IT). This means that Shadow accepts the justice the commander wanted to serve. And also that he forgives him for being so bitter about it, for being so incredibly angry.
You might think it is because he knows what it’s like to hate someone for killing your loved one and then doing everything to avenge them but…. he doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember SA2. All he knows is the empty feeling of rage and sorrow, that he can’t really put any context on. (He remembered that Maria died and that he wasn’t able to save her, but he never remembered how she died. This had to be told to him by someone else. Either it was directly shown to him by Black Doom when he uses chaos control to show Shadow the past, or by Doom’s Eye in a cutscene before a boss fight. (iirc anyways because I’ve gone through so much cutscene and script material now that I might mix some stuff up, please correct me if I’m wrong).
Once the commander learns that Shadow doesn’t remember anything and fucking accepts his plans to kill him, he is SHOCKED.
He looks at his gun, as if he’s realizing just what the fuck he was doing, threatening and literally trying to kill Shadow in an attempt to serve “justice”. He falls to his knees in shame for his misguided behaviour. He realized how foolish and childish is obsessive pursuit of Shadow was.
Later in The Last Way when Gerald tells the truth about Shadow and Black Dooms relation and Shadow saves the world….
* - All of the members are cheering and yelling.
GUN COMMANDER: *sigh*
* - The President pats the Commander’s back.
PRESIDENT: How ironic… After the way we all treated him, hesaved us all i the end. We were all wrong about the professor. Let us pay homageto Professor Gerald. Let’s work to ensure peace and prosperity for a brighter future! What do you say, Commander?
GUN COMMANDER: Excellent idea, Mister President.
They feel guilty for holding Shadow accountable for the destruction the aliens caused, aswell as for what happened to Gerald. They plan to reform the way they act in homage of Gerald Robotnik (and Shadow the hedgehog).
Now, it’s not confirmed when exactly in the timeline it is, but the commander does say this, but in Space Gadget (after completing the game I assume) during the training gameplay it is possible to get a random call from the commander which says:
“Shadow, do you read me? First… I want to apologize, for the other day. Actually, I just became a grandfather last week and I was thinking of maybe having you over. I know that training is tough, but try and do your best.”
(here’s the voice file in case you want to hear it)
This confirms that the commander is trying to build a friendly relationship with Shadow now and wants him to be part of his family (again. Since they are both Robotniks.). It could either be an invitation after Shadow already had joined GUN, or, and I think that’s more likely, he wants to discuss that matter when Shadow pays him a visit and they can talk about it in person.
Now Shadow does forgive the commander for his actions, and he accepts that what happened to Maria lies in the past and that it is not the fault of anyone else but the person that shot her, so he can’t be angry at the entire human race for it. He understands it now.
The commander makes a genuine effort to keep the country, and the planet, save; and GUN is an organization that focuses on keeping the world save. Shadow knows that it is impossible for one person alone to do it, so he likely sees this as a good option for help since he’s willing to cooperate with this commander. Due to his old age he would have to retire soon, though, so Shadow would also likely want to be inside that system to have influence on the new leaders in the future, so that GUN does not stray the wrong path again. (Be it shady experiments or useless killing.)
He likely agreed upon the request under the condition that OMEGA could join along with him, as well as the condition that he, OMEGA and Rouge are an inseparable Team that will work together from this day forth.
This is how I think it went.
Yes I got lazy towards the end because it’s super hot and I’m sweaty and my laptop is literally wet from my sweaty hands its disgusting akjsfhka
If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!
sources: (take the wiki ones with a grain of salt i only referred to the stuff that is absolute fact (sourced trivia, quotes and plot line); not personality descriptions or anything interpretative stuff since the wiki is also fan made and i disagree with some of that)
http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Shadow_the_Hedgehog_(game)
http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Commander
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps2/926671-shadow-the-hedgehog/faqs/39966
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh7b_eml0EU (i used all 4 of those videos aswell as this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBisWZ8eKV0
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That's the Thing About Dreams- Chapter 5
A/N: CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 2-
So hey! I’m back, and it’s time for cHAPTER MOTHERFIPPITY 2-
Anyways. This is gonna be either fun, or a complete and utter pain in the neck to write (my bet’s on the latter…). Who knows, though? (Future me. that’s who. future me what’s your status) (future iteration 1- i am not doing well. i am having small difficulties. oh my i did not spell that right what is wrong with me what time is it) (translation: it is 10:26 PM, i am covered in mosquito bites and this story is a pain.) (future iteration 2- i took a break. it’s a whole new day… and I’m ending the chapter. why? because me, that’s why. chapter 2’s gonna be in at least 3 separate pieces… and chapter 3???? hahahaha yeah that’s gonna be in at least 3 too. at least. i’m not even gonna try for ch4. not yet.)
Edit: I thought this chapter was gone today. So far, I’ve been writing all these little shits offline, google docs, you know? Well, today I got online- and when it went to sync my offline changes… three of eight documents I’d created/edited offline had vanished. Ofc, this scared me to no end- these things weren’t fun to figure out, in terms of all the little pieces and bits- and I was flipping out. I thought I was going to have to rewrite at least three different stories.
Thankfully, I waited a little bit and they reappeared. Which is good. But that was terrifying…
But now I'm on mobile. I just gotta mess with the formatting every damn time I go to post... I don't know if it's better or worse this way.
Enjoy.
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The first thing Joey was aware of was that his head was pounding.
“What hit me…?” He groaned, slowly pushing himself up. Once he was standing, he put a hand to his head. The throbbing was going away, but not fast enough.
He shut his eyes, waiting for it to go away. It didn’t, but it became manageable.
He finally reopened his eyes, looking around the small room- and quickly stepping out of the pentagram. It hurt to look at for some reason- the pulse in his head got worse even thinking about it.
He found himself picking up the axe, which, oddly enough, was now leaning against one of the coffins… and he knew he hadn’t left it there as he’d passed out. Which meant someone had been here and they moved his axe… but was that all they did?
Joey sighed. It wasn’t helping anyone to ask all these questions that- at the moment at least- had no answers. With that in mind, he looked towards the closed door in front of him.
Guess I’ve got no choice now… I’ve got to keep moving. Keep moving forward…
He chopped the boards off the next door and started walking.
Another stairwell. This one proudly displayed a little sign that read UTILITY SHAFT 9. As he walked down, a board collapsed and fell from the ceiling- nearly causing Joey to slip and fall down the stairs. Thankfully, he caught himself.
As soon as he reached the bottom step, he looked up- and another line greeted him- HE WILL SET US FREE- scrawled next to a smaller version of the cutouts that were everywhere. The little shelf was filled with candles, and cans of bacon soup, some closed, some open and poured in bowls. A banjo was leaning next to the shelf, slightly dusty.
He walked further in, noting that most of the shelves were in a similar state to the first- except one had another cassette tape. He clicked play.
“He appears from the shadows to rain his sweet blessings upon me. The figure of ink that shines in the darkness. I see you, my savior. I pray that you hear me. Those old songs, I still sing them. For I know you are coming to save me. And I will be swept into your final loving embrace. But, love requires sacrifice. Can I get an amen?”
The tape clicked off, and Joey frowned. He made to step back-
“I said, can I get an amen?”
He spun around- and stopped.
Sammy Lawrence- his voice- it had just been here, right behind him. Joey was sure of it- he was here. Somewhere.
After a minute of silence, Joey took a deep breath and kept going. He’d never in his life heard the songwriter like that- and it was genuinely creepy. It was wrong, it was too calm, it was too… off.
By nature, he tended to be loud, impatient, and was easily distracted at times. He was also an amazing composer- the studio’s only composer. With him around, there was no need for another. Sammy worked best alone, but made an exception for the lyricist- who, at first, he’d shown no mercy to. But eventually something had happened- and they were able to be in the same room and actually talk to each other.
Joey reached the next hallway- and stopped. It was flooded with ink. Knee high at least, and it looked positively repulsive. After taking a moment to sigh- his shoes and socks had finally been dry when he’d woken up- he stepped in and began wading to the other side.
And then, halfway down the hall, he heard muttering. Whispering- and then a dark figure clad in white overalls appeared, walking past the doorway- carrying a Bendy cutout under its arm.
The voice, while quiet- was unmistakable.
“Lawrence? Lawrence! What the hell-” He pulled himself through the rest of the hall as fast as he could, nearly jumping out of the ink to turn the corner the songwriter had vanished around-
Only to see a dead end… and the Bendy cutout sitting in front of a pentagram scratched on the wall.
Joey looked around, noting the trail of ink- but where the hell had he gone?
The voice in his head whispered, It’s got something to do with this ink. It’s everywhere, and that’s unnatural… ‘Who needs that much ink anyways?’ Something is really off with all this.
It’s not right…
He turned around, noticing a closed metal gate- much like the ones that had penned him in upstairs- and a panel next to it, featuring three blinking lights.
Seems like the gate needed power.
He found himself searching for the three different switches- two of them were back down the flooded hall, and after coming back through it for the third time he sat down, took off his shoes, then wrung out his socks. It was a pointless move- there was ink everywhere, and it was more than likely he was gonna be covered in it at some point, and more than just knee high or waist high- probably neck high or above head.
He slipped his slightly less soaked socks back on, then his shoes. He stood and walked over to the switchboard- all three lights were on. He threw the switch.
With a rumble and a lot of groaning, the metal gate slowly lifted- and just as it clicked into place, a low moan sounded- followed by the sound of a light flicking on.
Joey walked closer to the boarded up doorway- seriously, what was up with all these boarded up areas- and listened, but there was nothing else. Quickly, he hacked his way through the wood, and walked in.
The music department kind of looked like shit at the moment.
Ink puddles scattered everywhere, only a few candles- god it was dark- and most of the lights were off. Looking around, Joey sighed before noticing the tape next to the sign- in the dark, it was hard to see, but this tape was labelled- Lawrence. He turned it on.
“So first this Ink Machine is installed over our heads. Then it begins to leak. Three times last month we couldn’t even get out of our department because the ink kept flooding the stairwell. The solution? An ink pump to drain it periodically. Now I have this ugly pump switch right in my office. People in and out all day. Just what I needed. More distractions. These stupid cartoon songs don’t write themselves, you know.”
Now that sounded like Sammy…. the stairwell, right. Turning around, Joey walked to the stairs- and what do you know? It was flooded. The main power switch sat on the wall to the right, though- thankfully. He threw the switch, hearing the clicking of lights turning on- then wincing as the room suddenly filled with harsh light.
And then, the sound of ink dripping filled the room.
He turned, and walked back into the main room-
And a glob of ink dropped from the ceiling, forming into a humanoid shape.
Almost instantly, it swiped at Joey, who raised the axe and swung back.
Only one of them made their mark.
The body- he assumed- melted, and returned to a regular puddle of ink.
And then there were more.
Before he got time to think, he was fighting the inky creatures as best he could- he wasn’t a perfect aim with the axe- but eventually the last one took a hit and vanished, leaving Joey, panting, alone in the room as music began to play- and as a metal gate began to open.
And, finally, he got a chance to think, and a chill ran down his back.
Those things… weren’t right.
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
A/N: jesus fuckin shit this is gonna be hard
i just rewatched someone play through it… fuck. I THOUGHT I WAS DONE SHORTCUTTING CRAP-
Nope. Apparently not. Sorry, suckers, but we’re shortcutting the hell out of this chapter… and Chapter 3. Saying it now so you don’t wonder, because no way in hell am I writing out that entire fucking annoying ass errand list. The Angel can go suck a lemon.
(Am I reading too many fics these days…? I’m actually not swearing as much as I usually do. wow. thanks for the influence, fics.)
I can already tell this fic, if it gets finished porplery, (porperly????? pfft), will be about 8 chapters minimum. so yeah. probably around 12 or 14…. excluding bullshit…
Is it crazy that I’m already looking forward to transcribing Chapter 3? Yes? No? Maybe, so? (hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahah sorry)
next up: cutouts. why.
#that's the thing about dreams chapter#that's the thing about dreams#batim#fanfiction#animator reversal au#my writing#writing tag
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All writing asks!
Oh daaaamn! Thanks, bro!! @brynhildr13 !!!!
In response to this post!
1. What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)?
~Normally I try to do everything on my laptop in Zoho’s Notebook app. I seriously love the app, and there’s a desktop and mobile version that will sync so if you’re on the go you can still edit your notes! If I’m ever stuck I’ll hand write in a paper notebook and that usually works really well for me.
2. When did you start writing?
~I started writing back in the third grade, when I wrote and illustrated a comic series called The Evil Substitute Teacher from Mars! Obviously it was of a third grade quality and I had no intentions of being a writer at that point, but it was the first time I seriously flexed my skills even though it was just for fun!
I started writing fanfiction in my freshman year of high school.
3. What is your favorite thing to write?
~I love to write stories that take characters through intense emotional journeys. I absolutely love quality character development when you can track it from beginning to end.
4. Fluff or angst?
~Angst. I have little to no interest in writing a love story or love encounters as the primary plot. It’s hard to emulate the kinds of emotions people feel during those encounters when I’ve had minimal experience.
5. How would you describe your style?
~Hmmm . . . I would say . . . healthily balanced between pragmatics and prose. I try to make things as literal as I can when there’s action happening, but when I describe character’s emotions I literally love to pour on the cheese.
6. Where do you usually find inspiration?
~In general, for overall fanfic concepts I’ll find it in the source material, in a detail that wasn’t well-expanded. For specific ideas within a story, and for specific language to describe something I’ll borrow from both the source material and other writers in canon-based fics.
7. Do you listen to music to help you write?
~Hell yes.
8. What’s the biggest “challenge” for you as a writer?
~I love to write and I mainly write for myself - meaning I write the stories that I would want to read. But it’s extremely easy to fall into the “Nobody else will want to read this/Nobody is reading this = it must be bad and I’m a terrible writer” mindset. Surprisingly, that hits me harder than comparing myself to other writers. I understand and embrace that my style is different and the way I tell stories is unique. I actually really love how I write in comparison. I also struggle with pacing.
9. Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)?
~When I’m at home, my bedroom. However, occasional changes in scenery do wonders for my inspiration, so I also love public libraries. When it’s very late at night (and it usually is because I’m a night owl to begin with and I work two jobs), I love to go to Denny’s. The people at my local Denny’s know me by name and I have the same server almost every time. They let me sit there for hours and hours (and if I do stay, I always leave a gigantic tip).
10. Can you give us a sneak peek of your current WIP?
~We’re mid-fight scene and this is unedited (I’m just really self-conscious lmao). It’s from my Dissidia fanfic, A Petal Among Thorns:
“’Cosmos's assassins!’ the Emperor sneered. He laughed, calling his staff from its resting place next to the throne. "I'm glad you could make it!" Removing Cloud first would be the most important thing. That, and deflecting Terra's magic. Cloud lifted his sword behind his head and slashed it down, and an arc of power careened off the blade towards him. The Emperor slammed the end of his staff into the ground and called a cluster of purple mines in its path. The Blade Beam collided with the mines and they detonated on contact in a cloud of smoke, the sound booming through Pandaemonium.”
11. How many stories have you written so far?
~18, though not all are complete.
12. What’s your favorite thing you ever wrote?
~In the first version of A Petal Among Thorns, I wrote a giant fight scene between a goddess and her warriors. It was intense and epic, and really maximized my skills at the time, and I loved every second of it.
13. How many chapters does your longest series have?
~Well, the new and improved version of A Petal Among Thorns has 45 posted chapters at 171k words, and I’m working on 46. The original Petal, which I finished, ended with 64 and had 108k words. Both are my longest so far. the most words, though, is Horrible Bosses with just under 200k.
14. What’s my favorite character/person to write for?
~This is so tough. But I think the Emperor for A Petal Among Thorns. He’s a classic kind of “Muahahaha” villain and I absolutely love getting into that evil headspace.
15. “OCs” or “Reader” inserts?
~If it’s an either/or question, then I say OCs. But nothing against Reader inserts. I love those, too. If it’s a do I read or write them question, then not really. I did one back when I was in high school. But I do read them and I support writers who do. There’s no such thing as cringe culture anymore so don’t let any elitists make you feel shitty for writing them.
16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?
~Sure. I’ve got four major ones:
1. A Petal Among Thorns (Dissidia Final Fantasy) - Cosmos just sent a group to take care of the Emperor since he’s been plaguing her and her warriors, but they’re caught unprepared when they realize he’s been secretly amassing power.
2. The Krypt (Mortal Kombat) - The group just found Master Hasashi and Kenshi, two out of the whole group they’ve been looking for. Their next order of business is to escape the spider caves, but it won’t be so easy.
3. Legends Yet (Final Fantasy XII) - Balthier and Fran are preparing to infiltrate the Archadian Palace to go after a special item. Little do they know the palace is more prepared than they thought.
4. This is My Punishment (Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus) - The Turks go looking for Vincent after he fails to report in. They confront Dr. Hojo about it, but he’s smug and disinterested.
17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?
~The longest COMPLETE story I ever wrote was the original A Petal Among Thorns with 64 chapters at 108k words. The longest INCOMPLETE story I have right now is the rewrite of A Petal Among Thorns with 46 chapters at 171k words. The most words I ever wrote was Horrible Bosses at just under 200k but with only 15 chapters.
18. What fandoms do you write for?
~Final Fantasy and Mortal Kombat and Hetalia are pretty much it right now, but a variety of FFs! I have written for Assassin’s Creed too, and Voltron, and I did one very self-indulgent Black Butler self-insert.
19. What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors?
~Poisonous Panda on AO3 (she used to have a tumblr but she deactivated for some reason), and Jaydee Grey on ff.net
20. Have you ever written an AU?
~No. All my stories take place in the actual world and parameters of canon. Although, I guess Petal could be considered one, since Rosa was never called to the cycles in any Dissidia game except Opera Omnia . . . ?
21. What’s your favorite AU trope?
~I don’t know if I have one. I read them but they’re not my go-to. I usually stick to canon stuff first.
22. A fanfiction cliché you can’t help but love?
~Hmmmm . . . I think descriptions of eyes. Not like, the word ‘orbs’ or anything, but the use of gemstones to describe color. I love the aesthetics associated with gemstones and their luster and how they shine, so if someone has “emerald green” eyes, or “amber” eyes, “crystalline blue”, etc. It makes me understand that their characters’ eyes are aglow with something, that they have character or passions or an ideas.
23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?
~I started my freshman year of high school, so . . . 10 years?
24. Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it?
~No, I usually write stuff down right away. But as I develop my stories they rarely stay along the path enough to end up using the idea. Either the plot point is too out in left field now, or the characters are too far along in their journeys to make it work in-character.
25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?
~Motivation? I don’t know her.
In all seriousness, I have ZERO self-control, so I can’t bribe myself. I mostly use my own desire to see my stories finished, plus nice comments and reviews from users on AO3 and ff.net. They’re so few and far between that a single one can make my entire day.
26. How did you find out you like to write?
~I’ve always enjoyed telling stories, from the third grade up! Making my own comics, and novelizing games I used to play, like Pac-Man World 2! I sort of never stopped, but WHAT I wrote matured as I grew older and joined fandom.
27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) that have inspired you to start writing?
~No, I was writing in general before I knew what fanfiction even was. But what inspired me to start writing fanfiction in particular was reading a Dissidia fic on ff.net by the name of Slash and Burn, that hasn’t updated since 2011. Reading that fic made me realize that the stories and scenarios I was coming up with surrounding these characters I loved could be transcribed and posted, and that other people were doing it too! I simply started writing down what I already was imagining for these characters outside of the events that happened in their games.
28. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?
~Final Fantasy, hands down!
29. Describe your style in three words.
1. Balanced
2. Introspective
3. Natural
30. What would you say is the most ‘famous’ fic you’ve ever written?
~Definitely The Krypt for Mortal Kombat on AO3. Writing for an active fandom is vastly, vastly different than writing for an older, stale one. The Krypt has the most comments and shares. On ff.net, it’s Horrible Bosses.
31. Blurbs or drabbles?
~Drabbles. Flesh it out more! I wanna be more immersed in whatever this is!
32. Have you ever written smut?
~I have written ONE SINGLE SHEEPISH scene in chapter 13 of Horrible Bosses. It was my very first attempt at smut and it is god-awful. Go check it out on AO3 if you want (and can withstand the second-hand embarrassment!)
33. How long does it usually take for you to write?
~LMAO that depends entirely on if I can get started for the day. If I can start and I can stay focused, I’ll easily write 3,000 words in one sitting. If I can start but I’m not focused I can usually still grind out anywhere between 100 - 500 or so words. But I’ll go days without touching Notebook if I can’t even get started.
34. What’s your favorite font to use when writing?
~I don’t put much stock in fonts but the one I’m using now on Notebook is Montserrat. I will change it every so often if I want something new though. Changes in scenery help my focus most times.
35. Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?
~Longer definitely. Shorter fics are easier but I love the challenges associated with aligning plot points with character development, as well as pacing.
36. how do you keep yourself inspired?
~My love for the fandoms I’m writing for usually does it. I love these universes and characters so much that I want to spend more time with them and watch them grow and change in ways that are or aren’t necessarily spelled out in canon. That, and the idea that since I’m writing stories I would want to read, then I’m the only one who can tell this story in my own way, so it has to be me.
37. Have you ever written something you didn’t like but posted anyway?
~Hell yeah. It be like that sometimes. Sometimes you stare and stare at a chapter and you absolutely hate it but you can’t figure out why and eventually you get pissed and say, “Fuck it, i have to post this to move on,” and you do. Specific examples for me are a few chapters in the new Petal.
38. What is your “strong suit” as a writer?
~I pride myself on my characterizations, to be honest. I feel like I have a good sense of who these characters are based on canon, and I can translate their reactions well to situations that test them.
39. What’s your favorite trope?
~I actually really, really love when characters are injured or slipping physically or emotionally, but they keep it to themselves for the sake of others. It can be for any reason - they don’t want to be a bother, they think they should be strong enough to handle it, etc.
40. How many likes do your fics usually get?
~Depends. The most I’ve gotten on anything was ~70 follows/favorites for Horrible Bosses on ff.net, and 128 kudos on The Krypt on AO3. Those are outliers, for the most part. My more popular fandom fics float around 20 - 40 kudos, my smaller fandom fics float around 5-10. The mean average for AO3 kudos across all my fics is 32, and the mean average for ff.net favorites is 14.
41. Have you ever used a prompt?
~No. it’s very, very hard for me to imagine characters into scenarios that I didn’t myself come up with?? I’m not sure why.
42. What is your weakness as a writer?
~Pacing.
43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you wrote?
~Yes, I cried when I wrote the aftermath of the large battle I talked about earlier, between Cosmos and her warriors in the first version of A Petal Among Thorns.
44. Have you ever done a collab with another writer?
~No, I’m too self-conscious.
45. One thing you love about fanfiction.
~I love how it allows fans to expand upon these worlds and universes that were created for us. I love how it allows us to demonstrate our love by interpreting things that were either not touched or not expanded upon in canon. It also allows me to express myself in a healthy and creative way.
46. What’s your favorite emotion to cause on your readers?
~Nothing makes a person sexier than physical pain. But I also love anger and regret.
47. What’s your favorite thing about writing?
~See above. Writing fanfiction is another way that I express my love for something that matters so much to me, which are these pieces of media I write for. It also gives my daydreams purpose and doesn’t make me feel like I have to bottle them up!
48. Do you post your writing in any other platforms?
~Yep! AO3, ff.net! I’m Keyblader41996 on both.
49. What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)?
~I’ve got notes all over! I’ve got some in Notepad on my Mac, and I have some in Notebook by Zoho on their site and app, I have some in my paper notebooks, I have some in my college textbook margins and notebooks, etc. My favorite to use is Zoho’s Notebook.
50. One thing you don’t like about fanfiction.
~Thinly veiled, arbitrary and unnecessary bullshit that is masqueraded as “constructive criticism” when I didn’t ask for it, and when it’s easier for the commenter to just, idk, LEAVE THE FUCKING FIC?!?!?!!??!?!?! Rather than spend ALL that time just to be shitty???????????? get away from me.
51. Least favorite trope?
~I dislike time travel.
52. Favorite words to use when writing?
~I love facial descriptions and body language: He crossed his arms. Her eyebrows furrowed. She winked coyly. His fists balled at his sides, trembling. She jumped, clapping her hands enthusiastically. etc.
53. Least favorite words?
~I hate describing clothes and bodies/figures. Hate it.
54. Do you usually like what you write?
~It depends. I cycle through different phases. (1) This is great. (2) Oh god, what the fuck??? is this??? (3) I can’t even look at this, it’s so bad. *Stops writing for days* (4) Wait, why did I hate this so much? It’s a great starting point! (5) Edit (6) YESSS YESSSSSS YASSSSS!!!!!!!! (7) Post
I can start at any one of those numbers and go from there but it’s always in that order no matter where I start.
Thanks so much for asking me these!! I love them!!!
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Well, I was gearing up to write a tumblr post asking y’all to send requests for transcripts/captions to all your favorite web media folks -- and still might, because that’s super important -- but one of the podcasters I emailed about transcripts emailed me back quickly (which was nice of him) to tell me that legally, his hands are tied because his book publishers have sole rights to text distribution of his episodes.
FRIENDS, I TOOK A WALK.
I don’t necessarily blame this individual for this situation; publishing contracts are sticky and yet a great opportunity for small creators. I wouldn’t say I’m angry at him right now, or even angry with the publishers. I get why competition clauses exist. I’m upset because this is a pattern that people with disabilities see over and over and over again. Some activists refer to it as the “disability tax”. It’s the extra price that PWD have to pay for all the little things in their lives that able-bodied people don’t need to pay for. And if people with hearing disabilities need to buy a book in order to access the info in an educational podcast that is free for hearing listeners, boy oh boy. Disability tax strikes again.
(*insert whole rant about how education is often made unavailable to PWD and why denial of education often ends up meaning denial of employment, socialization, and rights*)
So here’s the thing. I don’t think a lot of able-bodied folks know how expensive it is to be disabled. And please keep in mind that disabled folks often make far less money than able-bodied people, too. They just are not afforded the same opportunities that AB people are. (And that could be a whole post, too. Note to self.) Because of the current healthcare debate, people are starting to talk more about how much medical costs are for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, but I think people still don’t quite get how expensive it is just to live with a disability.
Here are some examples:
I need to have my groceries delivered every week. This is non-negotiable. I cannot carry groceries, nor can I walk to and from the store on a regular basis. I cannot drive. So if I do not get groceries delivered, I do not eat food. Not only does this mean I am paying a delivery fee and a tip, I am often paying inflated prices for the goods that other people can shop around for. I cannot use manufacturer’s coupons, either. All in all, I am just paying a lot more for the same groceries that other people are buying.
If a person has food sensitivities, they are also likely buying more expensive food regardless of where they get it. See: non-dairy milk products, gluten-free products, etc. Different disabilities require different diets, and many of those diets get pricey fast, especially if those disabilities also prevent the person in question from cooking a lot.
Media can be very expensive if you have a disability. Audiobooks, braille, specialized screenreaders, transcribers, etc. etc. There’s a solid chance that if it requires more money to produce, it requires more money to buy. That expense is often passed on to the PWD who need to use these materials. And that’s not even including the expense that comes with extra effort, like if only one movie theater in the area has sensory-friendly screenings or captioning or descriptive audio. It might be hard to get to. It might have only one screening. I already said how hard it is for PWD to get work -- do you think they can just take off work to watch the only captioned screening, which happens to be at 10 a.m. in the next county over? Or they might need to pay full museum admission because that’s the day with a specific accessible tour instead of being able to go on a free day like able-bodied people. Etc.
Mobility devices can be very expensive, especially customized ones, and not all of them are covered by insurance. This includes garden variety canes and wheelchairs (like my own), but also specialized wheelchairs, chair lifts for homes, wheelchair lifts, modified kitchens, ramps, modified cars, etc. I know a woman whose van needed to be modified to the tune of $80,000 before she could drive it. Yes, that is four zeroes. (Personally, I need to pay for a Lyft when I have to go somewhere not covered by accessible public transportation -- which takes out a lot of subway stations in my city. It isn’t safe for me to drive, so I just have to foot that bill.)
Other day-to-day assistive devices are very expensive. Wiring houses so things blink or vibrate when the doorbell rings. Text-to-speech and speech-to-text devices. Adapted keyboards. Hell, even service dogs need to eat. (And human caregiving assistance can be very expensive, too.)
Like honestly, I could go on for days. There are always a million little things we’re paying for so we can have the same experiences as able-bodied people, like visiting friends, going to school, seeing a movie, or, y’know, eating food. This is the disability tax, and though it’s all too visible to PWD, I feel like able-bodied folks never even notice it. It’s part of the institutional structures that keep PWD poor, which means it’s part of the institutional structures that keep PWD quiet.
As for that podcast, well. The guy recommended that I request copies of his book (when it comes out) in my local libraries so PWD can have access to his information for free. It’s not ideal, but it’s a start, I suppose. The internet is giving PWD access to so many things we never had before, but it’s also springing weird new sticky situations on us that we’re going to have to learn to navigate. If you’re disabled and reading this, I’m right there with you, frustrated and fighting. If you’re able-bodied and reading this, then please, please help us gain access to the same things you already have, and be patient with us when we need to exert greater resources to get them. Help us navigate these new waters, and speak up for us when we can’t even get in the room.
Thank you.
(And hey, if you learned something and want to say thanks back, you could always help me with those groceries.)
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Cobalt
Another day. The same day. It's hard to tell.
A follow up to "Good Morning, Again". Awareness is setting in and questions are coming to the surface. Who am I? How many of me have there been? And how the hell do you even eat udon?
( Alternate Title: The Noodle Incident )
Previous: https://mittensmcedgelord.tumblr.com/post/161414852605/good-morning-again
“Good morning, Morgan. Today is Monday, March 15th.” The alarm clock starts its routine, but doesn’t finish before it hits the kitchen counter with enough force to break the case. I didn’t lay a finger on it. The implications should worry me more than they do.
The illusion crackles as I sit up. The TranScribe tells me it’s closer to midnight than 7 AM. Something somewhere glitches. My room, empty of everything but a few pieces meant to make the simulation feel real, comes into view. I wonder if I’ve seen it like this before. I pick up the broken alarm clock and turn it over in my hands. It’s an easy fix. Ten minutes, maybe. I can figure out why it went off at midnight while I’m putting it back together, too.
Except that isn’t what I do. I put the clock on the counter, get dressed, and head to the cafeteria. I realize halfway down the grav shaft that I haven’t bothered to shave or brush my hair and laugh. I’ve never needed to shave. I never will. I catch my reflection in the glass, red eyes and stubble and hair in all directions. This is either rock bottom or the apex of my efforts. Either way, it’s exactly right for getting instant udon at midnight.
I’ve never actually had instant noodles. I’ve eaten it before in the simulation. It’s one of my—well, Morgan’s—favorite guilty pleasures. So, it seemed like an important thing to try. Lucky me, the cafeteria is nearly empty at this hour. One or two people who look less awake than I do are sitting at a table near the coffee pot, completely absorbed in paperwork. The cook doesn’t even seem surprised that I’m asking for instant udon, which either says a lot about Morgan or about the crew in general. What greets me is a nest of long, tendril-like noodles writhing in unnaturally colored broth, which I now have to eat with a pair of tapered wooden utensils that seem wildly unsuited to the task at hand. Nonetheless, I am not daunted. I am determined to consume this meal. This is, as my memories serve, one of the most quintessential Morgan Yu meals that I can find. I even have a can of Kafe Karsk to go with it, just to ensure authenticity.
A few minutes pass as I stare down the plastic bowl, willing it to divulge its secrets. None are forthcoming. Before I completely give up and take the armload of rations to my room, I see Sho sit down with a tray of unagi rolls. I grab my food and sit down across from her before she realizes I’ve even moved.
“What the fuck?” She drops the chopsticks onto the table and starts to stand. Her hand moves to her hip for a minute before she sits back down. She looks like she wants to punch me. Wouldn’t be the first time if the reports are any indication. “You shouldn’t do that. There’s a shoot on sight order for anything Typhon-like.”
“I didn’t mean to. It just sort of happens.”
“Phantom shifting just happens. Sure. You are really creepy. You know that, right?” She picks up a roll with the chopsticks and pops it in her mouth. I move closer to inspect only for her to shift a seat over. “Seriously, between that weird stretching thing you did between chairs and this, I’m pretty sure you’re not convincing anyone that you’re actually human.”
“I was trying to see how you used the chopsticks to eat. I would have installed a mod for it if I could have.” I poke at a piece of dehydrated eel floating in the broth. “Trust me, I searched the entire company directory of recorded skills. There’s nothing there.”
“Of course there’s not a neuromod for eating noodles, Mim. I don’t think anyone’s ever needed it. And before you ask I am not going to help you make one. Just do what everyone else does. Swear at the cheap useless chopsticks and slurp it out of the bowl.”
“Mim?”
“Yeah. I mean, we need something to call you. So, Mimic Morgan. Mim for short. It’s even on your official classified files.”
“Why not just ‘Morgan’?”
“Because you’re not Morgan, not to the people who know better. I know Alex programmed you to think you are, but you aren’t.” She snaps the chopsticks together and points them at me. “And before you ask, that’s a good thing. I can guess what you’ve been told, but contrary to what Alex and Igwe say, the station wasn’t exactly falling over itself worshipping Morgan’s brilliance and charm.”
She leans closer and almost knocks over my soup. I sit rigidly in place, trying to pretend I’m not thinking about shifting into a more innocuous object. She’s looking for something, somewhere that I’ve cracked open and the darkness is seeping through. I’m not sure if she sees it or not, but she leans back. “Do you actually think of yourself as him?”
“Yes.” My answer is too immediate, too emphatic. She snorts. “Why wouldn’t I? I know I’m not the same person, but how does that make me any less Morgan than he was after so many neuromod removals?”
“Because I’ve seen the recordings of your simulation. The real Morgan wouldn’t have done half the stuff you did.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he didn’t.” She slams her hands on the table and my noodles spill. I start sopping up the broth with the bundle of napkins the cook gave me. She doesn’t seem to notice. “Because he didn’t do one single thing you did, especially not destroy the station to buy Earth some time. If he did, maybe we wouldn’t be here still studying Typhons on Humanity’s Last Resort.”
“What did happen?” I reach into the bowl with my fingers this time, pull out a piece of dehydrated eel, and eat it. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the texture food is supposed to have. It’s possible that I’m wrong, but the way Sho is laughing says I’m probably not. I’m starting to think that instant noodles, as a whole, might actually be an elaborate joke that I’m not in on yet. “You said Morgan didn’t do the same things I did in the sim. No one’s felt the need to fill me in on what actually happened yet.”
“This isn't a great time for this.” ”Why?” My voice crackles. I see Sho’s face contort at the sound. I take a breath, put my hands on the table in front of me, and try to relax my posture. I try to look as non-threatening as possible. She heard a Typhon; I don’t want her to see one. “Sorry. It’s just that it would mean a lot to me to know. We're the only people in the cafeteria at this hour, so you don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing. And I don’t think you’d accept an invite to my dorm to tell me about it in private.”
“Okay. Fine.” She sits back and crosses her arms. Her mouth is pulled into a tight line. Pain is written across her face. I get an image of Abigail in the freezer. Of the escaped volunteer and his brain decorating the walls of the malfunctioning escape pod. She doesn’t make eye contact. “So, what happened on Talos 1. It was close to the simulation you were in. I nearly died, but you knew that. I got through a hatch before I actually did die. Barely. I ran into a weaver and some cystoids on the way in. My suit was so damaged it read my vitals as deceased. But I had to get back. I had to make sure the bastard that killed her paid. There was never a volunteer named Ingram to be saved. The fabricator in deep storage never got up and running to make any turrets. We had to make do. Only six of us survived. You've met five of them, either in proxy or in person.”
“Alex, Mikhaila, Igwe, Elazar, and you. Who was number six?”
“Morgan.” She waits, watching my expression. The name was acid coming out of her mouth. There was no love lost there, in spite of the familiarity she’d shown me so far. “He survived. For a while. Turns out after all those tests he was almost as much Typhon as human. When he triggered the null wave generator it wiped out all the Typhon on the ship instantly, big one included, but with him it worked slower. It wasn't pretty, let's leave it at that. I didn't like Morgan, but he deserved better. Sure as hell didn’t deserve constant reincarnation as different Typhon.”
“Where do I come in?”
“After the world went to hell.” She pushes the last couple rolls aside. Any hunger I felt is gone too, replaced by something cold and heavy. Sho opens a can of Duck beer as she continues. It seems to do something for the hesitance she had earlier. “We didn't know a shuttle with a mimic on it already landed earthside. We tried to keep ourselves quarantined until we realized it wouldn't do any good. We fought. We ran. We mobilized. And once we were out here playing sentinel by the original breach, Alex started forming a plan. He used Morgan's memories of the outbreak as a base. Said that disaster response was the best way to judge actions. Project Cobalt started. ‘A human Typhon hybrid to bridge our species.’ It was Morgan’s idea, even back before the containment breech, but we’d never been desperate enough to try it before now.”
“How many were there before me?”
“Too many. We were going to scrap it soon. The mirror neurons weren't activating, not without a lot of intervention. And then you came along. You used all the Typhon mods you could find. You helped everyone you met. You tried to save us all. In a way, you were too human to be a real human. Alex said one of the variables was changed, but they changed every test. So, who knows. Maybe we just got lucky.”
“What was changed for my test?”
“Beats me.” She sighs and throws her hands out in front of her. The universal sign of ‘I’m done with this conversation’. The night shift is getting off pretty soon and the morning shift is getting ready to go on. Sho gives her now warm unagi rolls an annoyed look and pushes them to me. “There were a lot of variables. All classified. You’d have better luck asking Dr. Igwe.”
“Thank you.”
“Nothing a quick trip through the station’s history wouldn’t tell you.” She knows that isn’t the truth, but she shrugs it off like nothing anyway. I start to say something and swallow my words. There’s a shield around Sho’s mind like the kind a psychoscope generates, only this one’s not solid. It’s a mile of empty, unforgiving, airless space. She didn’t die outside the station like she did in the sim, but something did. Someone did. The woman talking to me is as much Danielle Sho as I am Morgan Yu. Finally, she breaks eye contact and grabs the half full beer can. “Last word of advice? Try to keep the Typhon powers low key. I’m not sure how many people actually believe the bullshit official story behind Morgan’s miraculous reappearance.”
Somewhere a chime sounds and the graveyard shift starts. She heads off to her station, beer still in hand, and doesn’t look back. That leaves me with her advice, her leftovers, and my now cold udon. Not to mention the host of new questions.
Alex never told me how Morgan died. Or when. I never really thought about how everyone accepted that I was here. The ones who don’t know about Project Cobalt just think I’m the second Yu sibling, a little worse for wear but not dead or inhuman. Sho knew. The survivors of Talos 1 know. I guess the better question is how no one else does.
The TranScribe beeps at me and shakes me out of my daze. The clock rolled back. The scheduled messages for 7 AM have are queued. The date is March 15th, 2032.
I hit the calendar button for the first time since I got it and tell it to synch with the station’s clock. I don’t know what date it finally registers. It’s forgotten in one of the pockets on my uniform by the time the update is done.
The udon is cold. It tastes like how eating instant noodles and a can of coffee alone at 1 AM feels. It isn’t good, but it’s familiar.
#prey#prey 2017#fanfic#spoilers#dear god the spoilers#mimics and eels and coffee oh my#does this count as an au?#thank long suffering tauren for the alt title
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Status Update: Σ(゚Д゚;≡`゚д゚)
I had a recurring headache this past week which (among other things...) prevented me from being productive lately. It looks like it's finally gone though, so I can go full speed ahead on things now.
Ah, if you've been following my status page, you might have noticed that I've tentatively finished recording all of Shukashuu's lines from the DraGene mobile game (if you’re lost, check out this post). The only problem is...I did not expect there to be more than, like, 3-5 lines. In reality, I found fifteen. Fifteen. My JP is terrible compared to my KR, so it’s gonna take me forever to transcribe and TL her lines in between all the other things I’m doing. So I’ll probably be done in like...maybe...a month or so? OTL
And on top of that, Rikyako just announced that she's voicing a character in Dragene as well (you can see my post on the new UR Suzaku here)…I don't know if I'll go through the trouble of TLing her lines whoops my Shuka bias is showing, but I'll at least record them and post the audio if I have free time.
And speaking of time...before I can fully go back to my own projects, I gotta finish up some QC work, plus some side TL stuff for an acquaintance. Also, since my inbox has been rotting away for quite some time now, I'll see if I can answer an ask sometime within the next week or so. I have at least two or three in mind that I've drafted complete answers to in my head - I just gotta find the time to sit down and type it out.
So, my tentative to-do list:
QC µ’s LisAni interviews
Work on side TL project
Answer an ask
Aqours in Seoul TL
Work on DraGene stuff for a bit
Answer another ask
Ask for TL permission from a few Twitter artists
Answer another ask
Do a seiyuu post? Either on an Aqours niconama or a non-LLS radio project. Pick one and save the other for the future.
Release a Twitter comic TL
Answer some more asks, JFC the state of my inbox is crap.
Finish up DraGene stuff.
Sub the short Aqours in Seoul video.
If free, work on everything else you were supposed to work on that’s listed on the status page. >:|
So yeah...I got a lot of stuff up there, but I don’t have all day to work on things. I’ll survive, somehow.
On a lighter note, here’s some stuff from DraGene that made me giggle at 2 in the morning:
In my mind, Suzaku (Rikyako’s character) is a YohaRiko lovechild. She has Riko’s voice, but the way she talks reminds me of Yoshiko lmao.
Listening to her is enjoyable in general because it reminds me of Rikyako’s hyper moments in niconamas...it’s like a tsundere-ish voice from Rikyako’s upper register. Y’know, that voice Rikyako uses when she’s screaming at someone or trying to be moe for the skit corner.
After reading their profile card and listening to all of their lines, I’m pretty sure that Purose and Rupina are gay for each other, but can't admit it because they're an airhead and tsundere respectively. I’m serious. On their profile card, their personalities are literally listed as "Airhead...? What's that?", and "H-Hey, who are you calling a tsundere?!".
Or at the very least, Rupina is gay for Purose, because she’s just so damn protective of her...like, ~20% of their lines have Rupina threatening to kill the player for daring to even look in Purose’s direction at some point during the dialogue.
Also, I’m so sorry, but hearing Shukashuu say lines like “I shall protect you, Purose! (ikemen voice) / Rupina-chan...! (hime voice)” is hilarious af. It’s like that dream sequence in LLS Ep11 where You-chan does the shoujo confession and kabedon - the juxtaposition just cracks me up.
Actually...Shukashuu’s ikemen voice in general makes me laugh. Not because it’s bad or anything (her yandere voice is 👌), but it just strikes me as really, really odd after Amaterashuka’s adorably loli voice.
So I started cackling at 2am because I imagined Shukashuu recording these lines and pulling the weirdest faces, like “wait am i supposed to be in love with my other half wtf”.
Not something that made me laugh, but apparently one of my guild members (there are daily team PvP battles) owns a Proserpina card, because I saw Purose and Rupina pop up and activate their skill in the middle of a battle. This was back before they ran a special rate-up box for her, so the chance of pulling her at the time was like ~0.02% (the rate-up increased it to 0.5%). What the hell kind of luck...
#yujachat#to do list#do i ever actually follow my to do list exactly#not really but it helps me organize and plan out my mountain of work
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