#tqeaking out

[doglike-mix]

wby does spacehey HATE ME SO MUCH. i gdid NOTHING bro LITRALLY NOTHING !!!1 and i keep getting banned. KILL YOURSLEFFF I JSUT WANT AN ACCOUNTT 😭😭 EVEEYTIME I MAKE ONE IF GETS BANNEED THE MOST IVE LASTED THHIS WEEK WAS ONE DAY. ove been banned probably over 10 times this week i CANT DO THIS

anyways i need to stop complaning abt getting banned... THOUGH ITS RATHER FUCJING ANNOYINNNGGGG

[ranfordgallus]

Im gonna tqeak out

Today is final test and im hvibg cramps rn i cant do this

[kusundei]

i dont get it i dont fucking get it because what tge fuck. WHAT TH FUCK??? IS IT EVEN A FUCKIGN SURPRISE IF I TELL YOU AND oh my god imcufckitnybh he losing my mind im being lashed in class because im being fucking dramatic like god forbid im fucking g sorrryyy. like sorryy sorrySORRYYY??????????? ph my god i iicant i will not lash my friends iii loveee my friends ite just r we fuckign eeirosuclile i cqnt ??? ICNT???

losijg my fucking mind because i did have slmethjng planned but no you want me to do solething with jonathan like i dont fuckign TALK TO HIM? IS IT A SURPRISE IF I TELL YOU NOW? we have never NEVERRR been fucking able to do anyhtjng i always give you aomething every year we never go out ebcause hoe the fick r we honna go out youre going yo ejd up doijg it because i cant fucking drive??? i have no money we cant fo out oht to eat??????? and we r already doing somethjgn like r we fucking seirous and then u LASH ME THIS MORNING AND I WAS ALREADY FUCKING PISSED OFF AJD OHHH MY GOD IM TQEAKING IM LSOING MY FUCKING MIND? i cant no because i do feel cuckign dramatic now because they r telling me i am but god im sosoooFUCKING . i cant ^_^ i cant i cant i cant^_^ the world can only be so fucking kind to me and i clearly used it to its extent just now and yeaterday. ifs fucking ove ri need toKILL MYSELF OR SOMETHINT AICSNT FUCKING DOTHIS

[soulgemmzz]

IM TQEAKING OUT ITS FUCKING DALLAS FORM ALIEN AND KANE AND ROPLEY IM GONNA FREAK OIT

mfgdjsnskddhshhs Thomas Kane and Dallas Texas man my beloveddghrhl

[kusundei]

god fprbid i still feel. like shit. and extremely out of it. perchance the day long tqeak from yesterday did not aid me because god forbid its still there and i feel awful. fept a little better talking to ajax but god??? i felt so guilty,,????? i dont know hooow. to be vilnerable. literally fucking sobbing at my laptop cause i didnt know what to do. god forbid all i did was cryyy and cry and cry yesterday and i still dont feel okay. i dont know why the doom is genuinely hitting me so bad all of a sudden i just? cant? cope? lile i feel like i will probqbly tweak today at school. god forbid i breakdown and its over.

i just feel awful and selfish and evil. he tells me its okay and everything but god i? cant? its not even just the jd thing its just the fact i cant burden people with my problems?? especially mentioning them when they happen lile im not expecting you to help me i just. i pdnt know. i want you there. but thats evil and selfish

i just. feel. so doomed still. like i have no control over anything and its making me feel trapped again. i want to ask to stay after school today but my mom is likely to say no and just lash me. shes giving me sunday anyway but iii dont wanna pester them ab it because. erm. maybe thats just a them thing. but then again sav asked me since lee invited her but ugh iiiii dont like asking. rather rot at home than do that (stubborn)

its just i do. want to ask ab today because iii want to be there. but im afraid ill become delirious and evil (not enough sleep and i feel like shit) and iiii. dont. need to put. people through that. nor do i need to be perceived like that i just ugh. i want to disappear or something. god forbid kyle is probably in the lunchroom this morning and he’ll bug me and i probably wont be feeling all good today. maybe i can ignore it and lie but i just dont have the energy to after last night. i mean i WAS happy last night to a degree. i wasnt lying just trying to make it seem like i was better than i was.

Ill try and ignore it. try and make myself happy today and be okay. to the utmost degree i can. enjoy the time at school while i can before i go home and feel doomed again. pray to god i make it