#toxic exbf! Gaz

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

not given this like, a super duper amount of thought but here's how I think toxic ex ghost is different from toxic ex gaz:

Toxic ex Ghost does not give a shit. That's the main thing, here. He does not care what you want because this is not about you. This is about how the two of you are made for each other and how you belong together, but on his terms. He decides how things go. He'll break up with you and leave you a mess because that's what he felt like on that day, knowing that it doesn't matter how he treats you. You belong to him, you are literally his. Like with most things in his life, Ghost brute forces your relationship, moulds and bends and twists to his liking, does not care if anything breaks.

Toxic ex Gaz is a bit different. His version of toxicity speaks to me spiritually, because there's thought and planning behind it. He is capital m Manipulative above all. He can't wear his madness on his sleeve like Ghost does, because how would that look? It's all about the optics. So he plays a more subtle game. And. It is a game to him. He plays with you. He knows exactly what he's doing - how to make it seem like its your fault or that you're being unreasonable or harsh to your doll of an ex boyf who's willing to be there for you. You feel like you're screaming into a void, sometimes, because your friends and family don't see it, they don't understand any of it. Gaz plays all of them, and he plays them perfectly.

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

I will offer one (1) smooch in exchange for hearing your thoughts on toxic ex gaz

IVY MY LOVE, I am honoured to accept the smooch and present to you some thoughts on toxic ex gaz!

It’s always “yes, love” and “of course, sweet girl” and “absolutely, darling,” with Kyle.  Always.  Without fail.    In the ten years you were together—since high school, you think with a start!—you don’t even recall him raising his voice at you.  

And then you end things.  After the attack on Piccadilly, after he leaves to you to go Mexico, after you have the fear of god instilled in you when you realise exactly how wrong everything can go in his line of work…you’re done.  You’re out.

But it’s Kyle.  Your Kyle.  Your best friend and your boyfriend and the man you thought you’d marry and the man that you’re letting go, for your own good.  He’s the same man, the one you’ve always known when you first break up with him.  It hurts, because he understands. 

He even holds you to him, close to his chest and you feel his racing heart, but, all things considered, he takes it well.  He accepts and respects your decision (though he reiterates that he doesn’t have to agree with it to accept it) and you see the warm brown of his eyes sparkle fondly as you leave his flat.  

You’ll always be friends, you promise each other.  You’ll always love each other, in a way.  You’ll just do it from afar.

Six months later, he pretends not to recognise you when you’re in the same coffee shop.

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

Toxic ex bf Gaz would have me bawling dude I would be SO upset and petty

Can’t lie to you anon, because yes, you’d be bawling.

The man’s a sweetheart, a darling, your friends love him, your mum and dad love him, everyone loves him. No one understands the shit he does to you, how possessive he is, how angry he gets, how fucking chilling his eyes are when he looks at you sometimes. His civility hides behind very, very thin veneer and sometimes you feel like you’re the only one who sees through it.