#touchstarved analysis

[purplecritter]

theories/thoughts/analysis about touchstarved after playing the demo a few times

Under the cut because it got long (I exceeded the post character limit...) Also spoilers btw. PS: All the links are to posts on the official social media accounts or their kickstarter, with the exception of the animated trailer screenshots that I got from here.

(Happy one month since demo dropped!)

Mhin

I'm starting with them because I play favorites.

Mhin's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the crying eye (guilt? pain? blood? Their pupils almost seem to glow red, I wonder if it's connected) and the beak (in a way that reminds me of the skull of a bird rather than a live one).

The red choice connected to them is about asking if they're a scientist: their precision is almost surgical, though when asked if they've studied anatomy or medicine their reply is “Not quite” so it must be something similar enough.

When Vere complains about their first encounter with Mhin, he mentions that their dagger (visible in their in-game art) is an antique. Perhaps they inherited it, maybe from a mentor? It’s a curious choice of weapon for a hunter: stilettos (it’s described as such in the demo) aren’t ineffective in battle (especially if wielded by a physically strong fighter, which they absolutely are), but they are favored by assassins because they’re easy to conceal, they strike precisely and deeply but without letting much blood leak from the needle-thin wound.

As far as design goes, the clasps on their hood looks like a mix between the quaternary celtic knot and the triquetra / trinity knot. Symbolically, the latter is associated to the Triple Goddess (more on this in Leander’s section) or three elements, while the former represents the four elements or the four seasons or the four cardinal directions, and is often used as a symbol of protection.

Their fatal flaw is that they “resist change at all costs”. I'm led to believe that they became a Monster instead of being born one. I think it either happened not that long ago or they lost control over it recently, and that's what spurred them on their search for a cure. Them being described as “outcast” also makes me think that they could have been exiled from wherever they came from, perhaps because the people found out that “a monster hides within their frame”.

When questioning them about Ais, they say “I'm not going to risk my life in the hopes that any of them is different” which shows that they’re distancing themself from their situation (i.e., being/becoming a Monster).

Their hate towards Monsters could be either a projection of the hate they feel towards themself (if they were aware that there was a Monster inside of them before they lost control and hurt someone, for example) or just because one took over them and by extension they hate every Monster because of it. If the “lost control and hurt someone” thing is true I'll also add that they might be working as a Hunter as a way to try and atone. It could also be a way to expel the more violent instincts (I’m assuming they have some) into something productive.

The “they're afraid of being hurt. Or worse” on their relationship chart with Kuras feels to me like they're afraid of hurting him, also because when you ask them how they get along with him during the demo, they say “Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there's any risk involved” and I'm choosing to interpret that they think of themself as the risk. I know I'm really pushing it on this aspect but the “If you stay too close to me, you'll get hurt”+“Find someone safer to ask for help” only fuels me more. Their monstrous form also looks less defined and more liquid compared to the others, maybe because it's not as developed so it doesn't look as solid?

Vere is also said to be often provoking Mhin in order to make them lose control: he's confident in himself enough to think that he'd have the upper hand in a fight with Monster!Mhin, probably because they're a skilled hunter but they don't have that much experience over their monstrous side. Mhin dislikes Vere because he’s “the embodiment of everything [they] hate about Monsters”: while Mhin holds back from their nature and seeks a cure, Vere wants to give in to his instincts without restraints.

In the demo, they get defensive when questioned about the Senobium, but when they say “Whatever you're looking for, the cost may be higher than what you're willing to pay” I think they're speaking from experience.

It's interesting that it's implied that they slept with Leander once. Judging by the comment about the Wet Wick being the “perfect combination for making mistakes”, they're not enthusiastic about it. I’m guessing that they don't like that Leander has seen them with their guard down? Or they

Unless I missed something, it's unknown where in Eridia they're staying. I'll say it's probably in a different direction from the Wet Wick since they make a point of saying that they're only going there to protect Kuras (instead of, for example, “I live nearby anyways so I'll take the same road”).

The flowers in their pin design look similar to cornus kousa, or some other type of dogwood, symbolizing hope, resilience, renewal (I also found: rebirth, new life, strength, regret). After a long and grueling winter, Eridia greets the first dogwood blossoms with relief. These flowers are known to cling tenaciously to life even in the worst conditions, from barren wastelands to ruins perpetually shrouded in Fogfall… Really poetic meaning! I imagine Mhin as the dogwood flower, persisting even after the Tragic Backstory that made them lonely (“barren wastelands”) and their Monster Form (“shrouded in fogfall”)

Leander

Leander's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights only his eyes (they share the color of his magic -> maybe it's how he uses magic that contributes to him being “monstrous”?).

Nothing to note about his red choice except that it is unlocked by generally following his lead (taking the flower when he offers it, touching him without hesitation).

Speaking of his magic, an Alchemist MC notes that it extraordinarily powerful, enough that he doesn't need incantations or spell circles to cast it. Kuras mentioned that Leander prefers the company of those similar to him and that the Bloodhounds are mostly people who've endured the hardships of Lowtown, so I can't help but wonder if Leander was always a natural at magic, or if he did receive training but was later cast out, or maybe he left by choice?

A recurrent symbol in Leander's design is the triangle, as a detail mostly (on his coat, boots, dangling from his belt), but there's also one that looks like the alchemical symbol for earth (🜃) attached to the brooch on his chest; another symbol for earth is, you guessed it, the serpent, whose other meaning is duplicitous nature as well as renewal and rebirth. This connects to the ouroboros (present in his earring as well as in the background of the sticker and charm kickstarter rewards), symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth and with relevance in alchemy as the “all in one”. The same theme is also present in the symbol of the triple moon (on his belt) symbolizing the stages of birth life and death and more in general three aspects united in one; the white lilies symbolizing renewal, regrowth, rebirth. The green feels fitting too, since it's often used to symbolize health and abundance.

Alongside the little triangle shape, attached to his belt there are a key (which is not the room key he gave MC), the head of which reminds me of two snakes knotted together; there's also a... I have no clue what that glowing red globe-spike is actually. It's the only other red item (along with the gem on the earring sword hilt) on Leander, but in some of the concept art it was green instead, so I think it's at least somewhat connected to his magic or the source of it. The shape of it combined with the red glow reminds me of Eridia’s towers’ architecture but that’s probably a stretch. I also feel like the symbol on the central part of the triple moon belt buckle is relevant: it immediately reminded me of a spell circle, and after doing some digging in sacred geometry, I’ve found that its 6 petal-like shapes (lilies also have 6 petals...) look similar to the hexafoil, “germ of life”, or the central part of the “seed of life”, which is connected to the divine creation of the world in 7 days/phases; a series of interconnected hexafoils make the “flower of life”, the meaning of which is creation (both in general and of the universe itself), and that everything’s interconnected to everything else... I couldn’t help but think of the “As above, so below” tagline in the Bloodhounds' poster; the sentence has so many interpretations in alchemy/esotericism but the gist of it is, “things in the higher realms of existence are just like in the lower/earthly plane” and “what happens in a large scale also happens in a small scale” and “common material things can make pure spiritual things”.

Overall, I'm thinking that all the green-glowing details on his outfit might be arcane foci, to help him cast magic without using incantations. As of right now, I’m willing to bet that Leander's connected to the Allmother (the traveler in the cart prayed to her) and/or the Abbess (the leader of the Senobium, I think): many of the aforementioned symbols also have ties to femininity and/or feminine qualities.

Other big things in his design are the eyebags and scar that goes from the cheek to the arm. I don’t have much to say on those, probably the scar is going to be connected to some important backstory event and the eyebags are a clue to suggest that there’s something troubling behind the bright and positive persona that he presents as.

If we want to take the name literally (I do), we could assume that Leander and his Bloodhounds are not simply a group of mercenaries, but mercenaries with a cause. Hounds are a breed specifically intended to track something specific (or someone specific) by scent. Given the animosity shown by them at the mere mention of the Senobium, it could have something to do with that, but perhaps it's also something more personal to Leander.

Let's get to the biggest red flag of the green-themed man: “Fatal flaw: [REDACTED]” and “Not all Monsters are inhuman”. There's also the fact that Vere doesn't trust his behaviour (I'll get to it in his section but I would generally trust Vere's words to be truthful). It’s also worth noting that in the first scene he makes an appearance in, he’s presented almost as a performer, a subtle-not-so-subtle hint that he can work his audience really skillfully. Overall, he seems too good to be true, and to quote Leander himself in the demo, “Things that seem too good to be true are often just that.” I don't think he's malevolent per se, but I also believe he's a very good liar (or at least, good at keeping his cards close to his pillowy bosom chest) and he can be a lot more ruthless than he lets on.

I already said it in Mhin's section but it's implied that the two of them slept together once, and I can't help but wonder if Leander also tried the whole "let me touch you so I can see what curses you but also you can tie me down if you want wink wink" tactic with them.

I get the feeling that he also slept with Ais? “He sure likes it when others take control”+“He's not so bad once you get to know him”. The bartender didn't joke about the room being used often huh (i’m saying this lighthearted and teasingly, nothing against it lol).

He's obviously staying at the Wet Wick with the rest of the Bloodhounds, and it happens often enough that the bartender/owner is familiar with their habits. I wonder if he also as a house of his own or not.

The flowers (in-game art, animated trailer, pin design, charm and sticker design) are white lilies, symbolizing devotion, sympathy and faith (I also found: renewal/rebirth/reregrowth and purity. Nothing says “I love you” as clearly as white lilies—ironic, since they’re some of the region’s most poisonous flowers. Some mages believe that these lilies contain a mysterious magic, but attempts to harness this power have only resulted in lethal poisonings. A not-so-veiled warning to be careful of what lies behind Leander’s charming facade... And considering that he seems to like when MC defers to him, I could imagine the (metaphorical... unless?) lethal poisoning in a possible bad end!

Kuras

Kuras' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the several eyes (truth and secrets being very important themes in his route, he's also described as “observer”) and his tears (his guilt).

No red choice for Kuras, but there is various flavour text depending on choices. First and most notably, the Unnamed MC notes that something about him feels familiar: this could simply be a hint about him being divine in nature, or it might mean something more, I'm still uncertain. Moreover, depending on dialogue, one of his scenes towards the end of the demo plays out slightly differently, and it shows the more playful side of him (which I absolutely didn’t expect, but I enjoyed that).

As far as appearance goes, his human form and his divine form have many similarities: this post does a very good job of showing them, but additionally I'll say that his halo (silhouette, charm and sticker design) reminds me of the shape of his earrings.

There are a few lines that imply that being in Kuras' vicinity feels physically warmer. It could be just a standard “MC likes him so being near makes them feel all warm and fuzzy” but I think it's more to do with his angelic nature having a comforting effect on people. Something that could be connected to that is the theme of fire (“eldritch flames”, also visible in the charm and sticker design), which symbolically is the element that purifies souls and reveals the truth.

His clinic seems very neat, for someone who works with numerous patients for the whole day. Moreover, his clothes stay unnaturally devoid of any sign of dirt. His appearance is also very curated, so I think that part of it is him being thorough about cleaning and part of it might be a consequence of his magic. Additionally, during the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 49:32), they (jokingly) said that Kuras doesn’t even put his hair up while performing surgeries, which to me also means that he doesn’t need to do it because he’s supernaturally clean and hygienic.

There's no clear mention of him having magic in the first place, but I don't think he could've completely reattached MC's arm so flawlessly any other way.

I wouldn't think much of it if it were any other character but Kuras' birthday being January 1st makes me think that he picked the date on purpose... or randomly, considering it doesn’t seem to be important to him.

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 41:24), it was noted that Kuras’ name was deliberately chosen, I think implying that it probably has a meaning behind it, though I can’t say what as of now (my search only revealed that kurash is a type of wrestling in Central Asia, and that there’s a deity called Kura in a region of Syria).

I think it's a known fact in Eridia that Kuras is not simply human (“Only the most desperate or the foolish would dare lay a hand on me”), so it's interesting that he chose to not disclose that to the MC. Granted, they've interacted for less than a day now and information is the currency. I also wonder if he’s always been a doctor or if he chose to become one at a certain point... I guess it would depend: is he “repentant” for something he did before settling in Eridia, or after?

Ais also thinks that Kuras used to be more outgoing but the reason he doesn’t really open up a lot to people anymore is because he “must’ve been burned”, which is an interesting insight. I lean more towards thinking that he’s been burned after becoming a resident in Eridia.

There's nothing that strikes me as peculiar regarding his relationships with the other characters,with two exceptions. Kuras' self-inflicted exile is centuries old, and combined with the fact that he (occasionally and begrudgingly?) works with the Senobium, it might be plenty of reason for Vere to hate him. I think that Kuras might've witnessed how he came to be captured (or actively took part in it), and that event is what feeds his mistrust towards Vere. Secondly, it’s said that he “looks forward to Ais helping around his clinic”: does Ais use the Seaspring’s healing powers on some patients (“I help him in the clinic sometimes”)? I wonder if the smokey scent when the MC wakes in Kuras’ clinic was because he’d been there recently.

He lives in one of the more populated areas, probably because 1) more easy for patients to reach him and 2) he likes meeting people.

The flowers in his pin design look like magnolias, symbolizing longevity, grace, divinity (I also found: eternity, perseverance, purity). The elegant magnolia’s therapeutic properties are vital in such a dangerous world. The Senobium cultivates a small magnolia grove, though few make it past the imposing gates to enjoy the rejuvenating blossoms… Of course the medicinal aspect reflects Kuras well. And there’s the connection to him being employed in some form by the Senobium too, the gates could definitely be a metaphor for how he keeps the true extent of his powers at bay

Ais

Ais' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights his tattoo (Ocudeus' tentacles) and his eyes (the Groupmind's effect).

If MC’s been talking defiantly to him throughout the demo, the red choice connected to Ais also consists of rebelling to him, which he clearly enjoys (he’s said to dislike easy fights, so that’s probably it).

An Unnamed MC will note that Ocudeus’s presence/calling in the Seaspring feels familiar, and that his tattoo feels unnatural and it seems to move when they’re not looking... I’ll say that the tattoo isn’t a regular one, and might be the physical manifestation of the metaphorical mark that the bond with Ocudeus left on Ais. This also explains why in the silhouette of his monstrous form the tentacle tattoo is extended beyond what it normally looks like (it reaches his face, and over half of his chest).

The very prominent eye theme (charm and sticker design, Ocudeus possibly meaning “eye god” if it’s latin) and feeling of being watched (+“Got eyes in the back of my head”), plus the fact that the red-eyed woman knew what MC was seeking as well as their name, makes me believe that Ocudeus' area of influence is very extensive. As a consequence of the Groupmind, it's likely that apart from sharing thoughts (and identity?) those connected also share what they see to Ocudeus/Ais.

The notes left on the pillars are interesting. The topmost and middle one I feel are more useful to the player and serve as casual worldbuilding, but the bottommost one is the most curious imo: decoding the scrawling results in “never wish on a shooting star he's always listening”. Initially I thought that the “he” referred to Ocudeus, but it doesn't feel correct (Ocudeus always watches, it doesn't listen).

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 36:32), Ais was said to be the first character that they created, and the rest of the cast was built around him for cohesiveness. This is interesting to me, as from the demo I thought that “central” role would fit Leander more.

Speaking of Leander, both of them have a like/dislike relationship with each other (Leander because “the assassination attempts are funny, until they’re not” and Ais because he “won’t hesitate to put Leander in his place when the time comes”). Leander seems to be uncomfortable about the effects that the Seaspring has on people, while Ais talks about “a time where Leander's resolve will be tested, same for anyone in this plane or the next”... I wonder how soon that time is going to be 👀. I already noted this in Leander’s section but I think they also slept together at one point or another.

Same topic, different character: Vere. It’s cute that they’re so fond of each other [1, 2], and I’m very curious to know how they met. They probably bonded because of compatible personalities, but I also think that they like each other because they’re both dangerous, and being with someone who is also as dangerous feels... Fitting, safe, maybe?

The fact that he's “not as in control of his powers as he thought” is also interesting to me, since his nonchalance doesn't seem to be because he's lazy but because he's extremely confident. Perhaps he got too sure of himself and lost sight of the risks?

Ais is described as “renegade”, which by definition is someone who betrays a principle/alliance. I have no doubt that this is connected to the reason why he's a “gang leader without the gang members”, and probably to how he came to bond with Ocudeus. Because he's also said to dislike isolation, I lean more towards saying that he didn't willingly let his (former?) members go, my theory is either they left on their own (perhaps they were scared of Ocudeus, or they didn't approve of it) or he accidentally disposed of them (either because he wasn't in control of Ocudeus / the Soulless, or because Ocudeus felt hungry and they were conveniently nearby). Either way, it must have hurt him, since he's not at all willing to talk about it beyond “Gang took a walk”.

I’m very curious about Mhin saying “Monsters like [Ais] don't know or care about what they have”... What does (did?) Ais have? Could it be in reference to him letting his former gang/companions go away in favor of siding with Ocudeus and/or the Seaspring?

He lives at the Seaspring, though I wonder if he sleeps in a pile near those cushions, cuddling the Soulless, or if he has more personal quarters further in. There's a cave entrance visible on the other side of the bloody water, but that feels more for Ocudeus rather than Ais himself.

The flowers in his pin design are spider lilies, symbolizing mourning, goodbyes, lost memories (I also found: death, abandonment, new beginnings). Eerily beautiful, red spider lilies bear the sorrow of loss and farewells. Eridians believe these flowers shepherd lost spirits into the afterlife. The city has seen a sudden increase in these unearthly flowers, leaving many puzzled about their meaning… Very fitting with Ocudeus’ domain of losing memories and thus, beginning a new life! I’m not sure if we should be taking the increase in flowers literally, or just metaphorically as there’s many in the Groupmind

Vere

Vere's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the eyes again (“windows to the soul” and all that), his fangs (him being the most openly aggressive) and the collar and chains (the thing that binds him to the Senobium's will).

I haven’t been able to not get his red choice [edit: “hidden ending”, not a red choice], but from my understanding of what others have said it’s based on how you talk to him and not on your actions. I’d love to say more but since I don’t know exactly influences it, I don’t have much to talk about regarding that🥹

“Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we’re both--” I wonder if he was about to finish the sentence with ‘cursed’?

 He has unique dialogue for each of MC’s backstories: to an Alchemist he says “The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it’s like to be used and thrown away. I’ll give your life new meaning”; to an Unnamed “You poor thing, misled by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all”; to a Hound “The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end. I could give you something new to live for”. Apart from showing that he knows stuff he’s not supposed to, I’m more interested about what he says to Alchemist and Hound: he knows the pain of causing suffering unknowingly, and he knows what it’s like to be used and then discarded. His powers seems to be seeing through people, I’d say almost mind-reading (“You can’t hide anything from me.”), but I think soul reading is a more fitting definition. I feel that all of the comments related to MC's backstory have more to do with what they experienced/felt than just objective facts, plus the way he says “All that suffering has made your soul so irresistibile...”, it makes me think that he's reading MC’S present and past emotions through their soul.

The most apparent part of his design is that he’s half showing, half hiding. His outfit makes the harness very visible, yet he hid the leash from the MC for as long as possible, and he didn't let them close enough to touch it. His pants are fully cover one side and show skin on the other. The sheer fabrics look very cool on their own but I like to think they're also part of the "half show, half hide" thing he has going on. An Alchemist MC will note that the collar seems to be enchanted, while other backstories will simply say that the lock seems easy enough to open.

In the charms and stickers design, there's his chain in the background, and it's broken. Metaphorically and literally, “breaking free from the chains” symbolizes putting an end to what holds someone captive, but also finding freedom to be oneself. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I think a freed Vere would also feel free to not hide so much of himself. On that note, I'm extremely curious about what he draws on his sketchbook. Also in the charm and stickers design, as well as in the Nintendo Switch port art, is the key that he stole from the MC. It's curious that they included it instead of a more personal object like his sketchbook (present in the Switch port art but not in the stickers), but it might just be a fun nod to the demo or maybe he'll develop a habit of stealing the key again in the full game, so I don't think I should read too much into that.

Neither Vere or Kuras of them gives too many juicy details about their mutual hate towards each other during the demo, but from the additional info [1, 2] published on Tumblr, I think it might have to do with the fact that both of them have been confined in Eridia for centuries, and perhaps Kuras even contributed to the capture of Vere, too.

He’s defined as a “charlatan”, which by definition means “someone who decieves through false claims”. It fits with him saying “If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a word I say” and “Information is a luxury [...] If you valued my words you'd have taken them seriously”. This feels like a recurring theme for Vere: Ais also says, “Vere is one of the most honest people you'll meet. Just don't listen to a single thing he says”. Despite the very obvious predatory/mischievous nature of Vere, I think that he is very honest about the things he says: it’s about reading between the lines.

His very evident distaste towards Leander might be connected to this, seeing that Leander seems to be hiding a lot.

Vere clearly likes Ais, but as soon as MC asks more, he warns them about how dangerous he and the Seaspring are. I think both are true: Ais being “a good person” doesn’t exclude the fact that he is dangerous.

It could be a stretch, but I wonder if Vere lives/stays in the building that he was chained to?

The flowers in his pin design look like some type of lilies, perhaps wood lily are a type of amaryllis that symbolizes passion, allure, pride ( when researching the wood lilies, I also found: danger, determination). Local legends conflict on the origins of the amaryllis. Whether they sprang from the spilt blood of a scorned lover or were born of an ancient Senobian ritual gone awry, the truth behind these flowers is knowledge long forgotten… or held by a privileged few. Like Kuras, his flower mirrors the connection to the Senobium though it remains vague about how exactly they became involved... In the greek myth, Amaryllis consulted an oracle to win the love of the shepherd Alteo: she walked to his house every day, piercing her heart with a golden arrow, and on the 30th day flowers bloomed from her blood. Alteo became enamoured with the maiden and the flowers that bore her name... I wonder how Touchstarved’s version of the myth is different than ours, and which character Vere is more akin to?

Nothing on Sen or Elyon for now since there's too little info on both, but I'm looking forward to putting them under a microscope too 👀

(bangs pots and pans) please share your theories/thoughts if you read this far? 👉👈

[none-shall-caricature-me]

Kuras's Atonement + His Past with the Senobium - A Theory

So the latest Kuras character lore came out, which hints at Kuras or one of his fellow angels being the 'otherworldly teacher' who taught humans stuff like writing, art, WAR, etc. Inventions that can be used for good, bad or in between. Hence there are differing views of this entity - as benevolent or a harbinger of ruin.

Moreover, the caption states (it's highly plausible that Kuras says it) - “Hope. A strange concept, after so long seeing myself as the agent of ruin.”

This, plus an earlier stats post that puts his empathy at 2 / 5 lead me to the folllowing conclusion -

We know that Kuras is atoning for a past blunder by entering the human world and setting up his charitable interventions. That catastrophe was probably the event of him introducing all these new concepts to humans WHILE lacking the lived human experience to truly foresee, understand and empathise with the consequences. For example, war happens for resource access, profiteering, ideology, punitive 'destroy those sinners' rage etc. Perhaps Kuras introduced war hoping to elevate the humans he considered righteous or wiser over those he thought evil, lesser or dangerous, but this judgemental aloofness meant he overlooked the reasons WHY people do evil, overlooked moral greyness. And then this spiralled out of control because he failed to grasp and predict humanity's vices.

It's like how less intelligent animals commit atrocities ultimately for survival and genetic lineage, but more intelligent animals like dolphins, otters and above all, humans will commit atrocities and shape exploitative systems for non - strictly essential reasons.

But why didn't he correct his mistake ? Maybe he lost hope for humanity out of disgust and left them to their sordid devices. But that fixed nothing and only led to more suffering. Or maybe his specific kind of inhuman purity (and I mean 'pure' in a very NEUTRAL sense) prevented him from understanding humans enough to do anything about it all. And then he went into exile in the mortal world to finally try to decode and dialogue with humanity through with an open mind instead of an untouchable omniscience.

Perhaps that's why he hates the Senobium. They seem to pursue knowledge and innovation for all kinds of reasons at ANY cost, treating living creatures as a lab simulation. Earlier he had good relations with them, back when he stuck to his original path. But now it's just a reminder of his biggest sin.

Possibly a stretch, but what if he had a hand in the Senobium's initial establishment + growth ?

REFS FROM RED SPRING STUDIO'S TWIITER -

[nonbinarypirat]

physical affection and how it relates to iruma: part 1, parental touch

iruma reads as someone who is touch starved and doesn't like/understand touch until he now has affectionate people in his life. His parents have probably never touched him besides the required amount when he was a baby and maybe a headpat or quick hug (which would more than likely just be a manipulation tactic to get him to do their crazy schemes). They left him alone for days on end, there's no way they even could have been affectionate with him. And it's not like he ever went to school, his "friends" at school couldn't even remember him because of how many days he missed.

Overall, Iruma reads as touch starved but doesn't know he's missing it since he never had it to begin with. Here comes the love trio, the misfit class, Balam and more. Suddenly he has a lot of people in his life who are comfortable with touching him, even want to as a sign of how close they are. And we can see iruma very much becomes happy with it in turn.

That's why Balam and iruma's relationship is important, a parental type person he trusts is actively choosing to be affectionate with him, not to manipulate him but just because he cares about iruma. He even told him the reason is just to bond and get to know iruma, not some sort of underhanded method. This is just Balam's way of connecting. And they are close to each other enough to be comfortable in each other's spaces. Whether Iruma reads balam as a parent or not, balam is very much like a momma bird, keeping him close and safe in his arms. And Iruma becomes more open to it as time goes on with them knowing more about the other.

This is also a great dynamic because balam gives him the affection that he doesn't recieve from kalego, someone he clearly holds in high regard. Almost every time iruma reflects on the people that matter the most to him, kalego is there. which i find fascinating because what is kalego to iruma? on a subconscious level, i think he views kalego as a parental figure to him as well, one of the first to give him clear and concise rules to follow. his parents were just a fucking mess, they barely parented. never really taught him life lessons besides "just say yes" and "run." Kalego clearly cares a lot while also helping iruma navigate the netherworld making it easy for him to project a father role onto kalego

But kalego isn't an affectionate man from what we have seen. And even if he was, he is his instructor first and foremost so he may not feel comfortable being so with iruma (and also imagine the fucking annoying comments about favoritism from the other misfits LOL). Any touching has been fairly limited to him picking up Iruma like during the teacher dorm visits and Kalego's final hours as a familiar. Which honestly make these few scenes even more precious. Because he is actively choosing to be like this with Iruma. Affection does not come easy to Kalego like it does Balam. More than likely because of his upbringing and family beliefs (always needing to remain vigilant, dignified) and him as a person. So while he doesn't touch Iruma often, his one on one moments with him are extremely personal and parental in nature. And when he does interact with Iruma physically, the rarity adds to the specialness.

And then there's Opera. Opera has been especially more affectionate in the latest volumes with hand holding and hugs and all sort of touching. Which is very wholesome to see because Opera wasn't a character that had much of a strong relationship with Iruma at the beginning besides guarding him. I always got the impression that Opera didn't know how to feel about him, not to say they wouldn't protect him with everything they have. But the feelings and affection started up after the battler/batra Party when Iruma grabbed both Sullivan and Opera (though the care for him had been growing steadily before that). I have seen two main headcannons for their relationship, some see it more as a big sibling relationship while others see it as a parental one as well. For the sake of this post, I will be using it as a parent and child one.

Opera has been right there with Sullivan watching Iruma grow more and more confident as time goes on. And through Iruma growing up, we see how proud of him Opera is. From a scared child to a more bold child, Opera has helped cultivate this in him. I also love that whenever Sullivan isn't around, Opera takes over for taking care of him, allowing the two to have solo family time. Obviously their relationship is more of a weird dynamic seeing as how Opera is a security devil, but that doesn't stop the story from developing their relationship. The physical affection for the two is started from both sides, Iruma hugging Opera or Opera holding out their hand to hold as they walk home. In this case, their relationship is the most parent like as the story progresses.

And finally, we have Sullivan who is the most affectionate of the four. Come on, you can't beat grandpa when it comes to love and devotion to Iruma. He is the first one to introduce Iruma to physical affection in the first place. Now granted, in a slightly overbearing way at first because Iruma is not used to this and Sullivan is too happy to have a grandson. But now, we can see the genuineness behind each of his interactions with Iruma. He very much acts like a doting grandfather, and he really does love him too. Touching clearly comes more naturally to him so it's his way of showing Iruma love which opened the doors for more people in Iruma's life to show this too. When Iruma first started touching Sullivan back at the battler/batra party, it highlighted that Iruma is now more comfortable with Sullivan to do so back. He has been taught by Sullivan this way of caring and cares about him in the same way too. There's a lot of mutual love.

They have come a long way as a family unit. Sure, grandpa has always been Iruma's number one supporter, but at the beginning of the story it felt way too over the top? As the audience we were right there besides Iruma in feeling overwhelmed by Sullivan. This far into the story though, the emotional trust they have in each other is beautiful. They are no longer just two individuals thrown together by fate, they are two people who care about the other and their weird little family. And its even more wonderous when we think about Sullivan's past, having lost someone deeply close to him and has no way of knowing if he'll ever return (aka Delkira). From what we know, it seemed that Sullivan truly loved him like a son/grandson/family member and loosing him is still something he's grappling over. And yet, he was still able to create this, push through his pain to make a family with Iruma. He's not a replacement for what he lost, but somone he allows himself to care about in a similar way in the past. By pushing through the trauma, he has been able to give Iruma what he never had in his past life.

I see both Balam, Kalego, and Opera as parents who provide him with different styles of parenting (with grandpa also providing that but also being a "ill give you anything you want" guardian hehe). Through this, he can learn varied viewpoints and, more importantly to this post, the affection he never had as a child. Does it make up for never having grown up with it? No, it never could. But it's not about making up for what it lost, rather its about making new connections and love with what you have now. And displaying that love in small and bigger ways with touch.

[someiicecube]

ngl... just by looking at how Vere sketches everyone is so telling about how he feels about them, even beyond what the relationship chart tells you. Makes you think...

Kuras, pure rough sketch (no. ??? at this point, cause he can't stop drawing him badly on purpose) and totally was not going to be bothered with the clothes details. A moment of silence for Vere for he had to suffer Kuras' design with us too...

Mhin's is... curious. Why so many sketches, hm? Have them in that pose just festering in your mind, Vere? Clearly a lot of thought went into sketching them. Does he really think about their ██ ███ ██ so much...?

Leander's is a surprisingly neat mess— Vere supposes he must give the man his money's worth. Once he was done he probably shoved it right into his arms and didn't allow Leander a single revision lmao

Oh, if Vere was ever into digital art (or had the means, if we're being realistic), Ais' drawing would have been a fully rendered illustration, you can't tell me otherwise. Drawn with such care and precision, not a line out of place, heck, the shading was done with effort. And he just had that in his sketchbook? I know what you are Vere...

And, looking at the photos side-by-side, why is Ais' drink red?

[toeridiaorbust]

I Just Realized the Paper in the Radial Charts Are Visually Unique Too

All images belong to Red Spring Studio.

Mhin:

Theirs looks the 'cleanest', relatively speaking. Possible scribbled notes in the margins, there?

✒️✒️✒️✒️✒️

[More under the cut]

Vere:

There's, uh, a lot of blood. Fits the 5 rank of his 'Wanton Violence', doesn't it?

✒️✒️✒️✒️✒️

Kuras:

I know we haven't seen Kuras eat/drink anything in both the demo and other official art by RSS, but I know the stain of an overfilled coffee mug on a paper when I see one! [It's even referenced in the LI quiz the devs put out ages ago, the French press coffee!]

✒️✒️✒️✒️✒️

Ais:

While everyone's blue paper note is ripped at the top and bottom, Ais's has the addition of being crinkled up and torn!

As others noted in reblogs/tag/comments on the official RSS post for Ais, the Animal Handling rank is in allusion to his control of all the Soulless at the Seaspring.

However, there's the tear that cuts through it too. Ocudeus is the something Ais cannot control. [This is also noted by others in the fandom!]

[This also completely terrifies be because oh no! Ais is losing himself!]

The crumbled paper could be similar to how a student carelessly jams their homework/notes/etc. into their backpack and turns it in that way to the teacher. Ais is trying to keep Ocudeus in check/suppress it/them/him(?), but it isn't working anymore.

All in all, I cannot wait to see what the devs have in store for Leander's.

[vaultureculture]

I could talk extensively about how I think Vere represents hedonism, whereas Mhin symbolizes self-repression, and that's why they're both enemies and foils. And I will. 

Hedonism. In broad terms (and without getting into distinctions between axiological and ethical hedonism), it could be defined as the theory that describes the pursuit of pleasure and satisfaction of desires as the end goal of life. 

Good music, fine clothing, quality champagne, drawing, sex. Vere gives himself to everything natural to the soul without restraint. One may even argue that his predilection for suffering (and I quote, it is precisely suffering that makes MC's soul "so irresistible" to him) may too be related to this. What is wallowing in sorrow but yet another excess of the heart? 

Vere is an ancient, supernatural being that seemingly exists purely through self-indulgence and physical demands. Hunger is a relevant theme to his character; he embodies both the primordial need for sustenance AND the fear of being preyed upon, a terror most animals —humans included— share. He craves what is authentic, and, despite his continuous teasing and lying, he is undoubtedly the most honest character so far in letting us know what he is and does. Vere is natural, raw, and, for now, unashamed. 

Now Mhin, to me, they embody the concept of resistance. We've seen how their fatal flaw states they will try to resist change at any cost. They're a newcomer plagued by a curse they do not want, a monster that lives within them and they resent. If you look closely at their "monster forms" in the trailer, you may be able to appreciate that Mhin's (along with Kuras'...chest...face thing) is the only one that seems to be crying. 

There seems to be a clear divide between Mhin's human consciousness and the monstrous bird form that takes over them. This gap is insurmountable enough for them to feel as though their transformation involves a breach of emotional consent: they resist this metamorphosis, yet it happens violently regardless of their desires. This makes them repulsed by anything that side of them represents, sickened by what is inherent to them. 

If we consider Mhin's constant rejection of natural desires in opposition to Vere's embracing of them, it is easy to understand why they don't get along. They are what the other despises the most, and have a disposition towards life so antinatural to each other that any chances of meeting in the middle are immediately discarded. 

This just makes me want to see more of them interacting together, though. 

That is all. 

[cinderella-ish]

Yuki, Kakeru, and the boyhoods they never had

So, I was talking with my partner the other day about how Kakeru and Yuki are always touching each other (one of many reasons they're the most popular non-canonical furuba pairing on Ao3). Anyway, it got me thinking-- if we don't read all this physical contact as necessarily romantic, what are some other possible explanations? An examination:

When Yuki first meets Kakeru, he immediately gets up in his face talking about his favorite Super Sentai character, then walks him out of the student council office with an arm around his neck, despite Yuki's obvious discomfort.

When Kakeru puts a hand on his shoulder soon after, he teases Yuki about his feminine features. Yuki bats his hand away and decides he already hates Kakeru.

In Kakeru's next appearance, he puts a hand on Yuki's shoulder, removing it when Yuki gives him a death glare.

When Kakeru stays behind that day to needle Yuki about Tohru, Yuki is the one to initiate touch this time. This leads to the two of them sharing a moment of vulnerability and the true beginning of their friendship. Kakeru putting his thumbs up on Yuki's shoulder is also a change to the way he's touched Yuki before - it's perhaps a bit more comfortable for Yuki, who's reacted negatively to all touch from Kakeru before this. Kakeru's communicating in his own way that he'll try and consider Yuki's needs from now on.

Next, we have the Kyoto trip, in which Yuki is still not fully comfortable with Kakeru (shown by his embarrassment when he tells Kakeru they wouldn't be friends anymore), but is starting to consider him a friend and spend time with him intentionally. We also have some sweet moments like this exchange between Haru and Kakeru, which Kakeru takes very seriously.

After this, Yuki finally learns (some of) Kakeru's backstory when he goes to help Kakeru clean up after Machi destroyed the student council office again. Yuki gets context for why Kakeru is the way that he is, learns about the successorship conflict, and then tries out some Kakeru chaos for himself. We also see Yuki initiate touch for the third time. I think this episode is where the real shift in their relationship happened. Yuki sees that there's a wisdom to Kakeru that he wasn't seeing without that context of Kakeru's oppressive childhood-- something to which Yuki can relate all too well. In a way, Kakeru's impulsiveness and sense of fun is his own way of either reclaiming or living out the childhood he didn't get to have, along with other traits like his love of Super Sentai.

And now, a brief aside.

We see pretty clearly that the other three cursed Sohma boys around Yuki's age are all pretty comfortable interacting with each other physically. Kyo will roughhouse with Haru and give Momiji noogies, Momiji will hug or lean on both Kyo and Haru. These sorts of interactions began when they were young boys, and are pretty typical of boys through adolescence. Yuki, being shut in a room with Akito or alone, didn't get to have that experience of boyhood. All his physical interactions with Kyo are negative, and his physical interactions with Momiji are neutral-ish (Momiji jumps on him at the culture festival, Yuki dabs his tears in Kisa's first episode, and Yuki scolds Momiji a handful of times). (Aside within the aside: while Haru sometimes reciprocates the affection from Momiji or rough play from Kyo, he clearly has a special way of physically interacting with Yuki in the T-shape and shirt pinch, or the stroking of his chin, etc..., and he initiates touch with Yuki much more often than with the other two, likely because he noticed that as one more thing Yuki was missing out on and wanted to include him in a way that would be comfortable for him.)

So when Kakeru tells Yuki about his childhood, and Yuki gets stuck in the storage room later that episode and has a flashback to his own terrible childhood, he's already primed to open up to Kakeru about his own childhood and to start looking at the world more like Kakeru does.

So, after that day, their friendship becomes much more physical. Yuki no longer bats away Kakeru's hand and even initiates touch more often. They roughhouse and Kakeru often puts his arm around Yuki in a gesture of affection. To me, it's a way of reclaiming those experiences they didn't get to have in their childhood-- especially the type of friendships neither of them got to form when they were younger.

[strunmah-mah]

So I saw this interesting post discussing the bashing of otome heroines, and the person i saw it from had some tags comparing the OBSCURA and Touchstarved mc's and the different fan response to them. Which go me thinking, but reposing to it there felt like it would have derailed that post, some I'm putting my thoughts here instead.

Basically the tags were an observation that OBSCURA's mc gets treated as their own character (Vesper) whose popularity is comparable to that of all the different love interests. Meanwhile Touchstarved's fandom doesn't seem to rally around one singular MC with everyone having own OC instead. This despite the fact that their both gender neutral blank slates you never even really see.

I'd noticed that too and got thinking of why that is, so here's my theory.

Name. Notice that I referred to OBSCURA's mc as Vesper, but didn't give a name to Touchstarved's mc? When asking what your name is OBSCURA auto suggests a name. There's a not insignificant number of people that when given an auto suggested name won't go to the effort of changing it. (ex My first time playing a Legend of Zelda game it didn't even occur to me to change Link's name despite it definitely being an option.) And despite still being a reader insert just the act of giving them name makes Vesper feel like a more defined then Touchstarved unnamed MC does.

Origins. Vesper is Vesper. Who they were before the start of OBSCURA doesn't really matter, no matter what you might hc they were like before the start of the story, they still enter the mountain with the skill set no matter what. Touchstarved's mc is deliberately fluid. They have three different possible backgrounds and which one you pick does effect the mc's skill set. Make your own oc is literally built into the game.

Presentation of information. Touchstarved is very upfront about their mc's motivations. You are cursed. It's very isolating and has caused you to hurt others unintentionally. You are looking for a cure. What your curse is is never really a question. That's a very different experience from playing OBSCURA. The games hook is "people don't go under the mountain unless they have a good reason, unfortunately you have a great reason" it does not say the reason, it's a great hook. So you play the game, you go under the mountain and you find out what you're looking for is . . . blue moon ichor. You have no context for what that is, it's not initially explained, but it makes people pity you. It's not until you meet one of the LI's that it's revealed you want the ichor. You only only learn about Vesper's motivations as they chose to reveal that information to others. It's an interesting story telling choice. For me, it was more engaging to have Vesper being just as much of a mystery as everything else, than Touchstarved approach of giving that information upfront, but it comes at a cost. The MC's are both supposed to be self inserts, but hiding that information puts distance you and Vesper again making them feel more like their own character than a self insert.

Choice. Atleast as far the demos go Vesper's choices matter more. Your choices change who you meet, if you get a partner to help you face the future, or if you fail to achieve your goal chapter one. The Touchstarved mc makes choices too, it gives you slightly different dialog and you then you move on with your day. The TS MC is a vehicle to meet that game's LI's, your choices change what side of them you get to see. In Obscura your choices affect Vesper first and fore most, which again gives Vesper a stronger sense of character.

Just to be clear, I don't want this to sound like me dunking on RedSpringStudios and say they can't make good characters. Boy can they! All five of their love interests are full of character and intrigue. It's like I said in point two, the "build your own oc" approach seems very purposeful. It's a fan response they've encouraged, even releasing bio templates that match the official bios of all the LI's. This is what they wanted.

What amuses me is that RottenRaccons did not seem to realize what they had done. They seem very surprised but pleased by how much fans are latching onto Vesper as their own character.

[concert-bflat]

I need to rant about Ivan guys guys I neeed to rant about Ivan (<--- keeps trying to write fics of him but Never finishes him) like God this man is so gay and so in love it genuinely hurts it Hurts and I am Injured by it and the imagrey is Sooo Good (and Yes this is probably me just parroting stuff Everyone has already said before but shut up it's my turn now!! (aka please I've been holding in these thoughts for Months now I must let them out of their cage before one of them Dies)) [Edit I am Not fucking proofreading this I spent 2 hours on it if there is a mistake you Imagined it </3]

Just like,

You can see it in the way he sees the stars in Till. His own hopes for freedom and the only real light in this world that he lost sight of in Till. He is the hope and wish for freedom that he has shut away and repressed and it makes him fall So Hard

Or how you only really see that red in his eyes (after. Almost Dying) when he's with or singing/thinking about how Till has Inspired him, like a fire has been lit inside him. A fire lit in the darkness. . hmm...

even at the end of the song, where he knows full well that he absolutely Crushed his opponent and also knows full well that Till is his next one. I'm sick. I'm so sick.

Or like. When he frees Till and everything is just Engulfed in that red now. How Till has that same fire in his eyes, he and Ivan are on the same page now. They see that same hope for freedom and they both share it. They're running towards the light (like the sky's lighter there, more on that in a sec), hell, the corners of the right side of the screen are literally tinted in LIGHT GREEN. Till's color. God dammit the whole scene is tinted in red and green. They are literally Complementary Colors. I'mmm soooooooo (God these scenes are soo pretty too I was genuinely Stunned when I first saw this)

DID YOU EVEN NOTICE I ONLY NOTICED NOW the Stars are fucking green. You can see it better in some of the Later Images but they are Literally Green because Ivan sees the stars in Till and uuuughsdfbshb

OR LIKE WHEN TILL TURNS BACK?? AND. And that red is no longer in his eyes and before The Realization hits Ivan his eyes are just Glowing with red. Because he was just Filled with that hope. Freedom was, potentially, Right There

Did you guys even notice in that like. 5 frames in the half-second animation of Till turning away he's totally engulfed in his shade of green. Like of Course. That's such a Till thing to do because of Course he's running back he never actually liked Ivan that way in the first place.

And also the lighting of the sky Flips. Because the light has always been with Till. And Ivan's left in the darkness. In the. Haha. Ha. Black Sorrow. Aha *sits down cries*

And Again with this mf's stupid eyes how they revert to just black because that hope's been stripped away again, how it's even reflected in his present self singing as he reminisces on it. Fucking. Ivan's Expression when Till runs away.T here's so fucking much like the irony. Like did he even see Till hesitate or did he just see him turn and run away.

Like the irony that the guy who's always breaking the rules and fighting and defying and clearly hating living in a world like this won't run away with him, who has always been passive and obeying the rules and just accepting captivity and has been repressing his desire for freedom is so Bitter and Awful but also he always Knew this would happen what the Hell was he thinking this was such a stupid idea like

this man gets No Breaks No Breaks Ever oh yeah btw they're facing off against each other in a literal Death Match. That they might've had a Chance of avoiding if they ran away. Ahah. Hh *sob*

Also this art brings me so much Joy as much as it hurts me on a visceral level like. Ivan Always has his eyes on Till but it goes from a fond smile. Like So Fond flat out lovestruck affectionate gaze because he loves this man and loves spending time with him to a grimace once they're on stage. How Till never really changes or really Has Changed, and that's why Ivan loves him as much as he is resentful towards him. How that's what brought them here, to the stage. How Ivan changed for Till and Because of Till but still Till is like a god damn immovable object with how he stubbornly sticks to his ways. There's such resentment but isn't he himself also stubborn for always sticking to Till anyways? Hell, he's singing all about him in Round 3 and loses control over his own emotions and expressions during it I'mmm Guhhh

Also the first image is titled Observation while the second one is titled Decision(? I think). Like mf What are you deciding. What happened Last Time you decided to do something I'm going to punt you into the next planet

Speaking of observing,

Just. How Ivan's Always Observing. I saw one person point out he's like a background character and it's like he sees himself as one too. He is a passive observer in his Own Life. How he watches all the other children in Anakt garden play. How his childhood leading him to Anakt Garden just kind of. Happens around him while he watches indifferently.

How he's always trailing behind Till. Or how he tends to just. Observe quietly and is portrayed as such.

Not to mention how he doesn't appear in the memories of Anyone else's rounds, not even Till's, even when he literally (temporarily) freed him from the city. He doesn't even appear At All in Luka's round even though we get a clear shot of Till getting his hopes and dreams shattered (though it Does parallel another shot of him from Round 2)

And then the One Times he tries to take action. Or start something. It gets rejected and he's resigned to just. Trailing behind again. Because of Course he'll always follow after Till. And of Course he's fucking bitter about it and bitter about himself because he Knew this would happen and Till is Always looking at someone else and that Never Changes but. He just thought for a moment that he could change something. Man.

Oh I forgot to talk about the competitions themselves huh? Wellll, (and I'll Attempt to keep it brief because I've been writing this post for Much too long but)

Till spends his first round singing completely devotedly to Mizi. Hell, his song wasn't even in the program, it's likely- no, almost definitely something he wrote entirely for her, and Ivan has no part in it, just watches bitterly as he passes out after his, er, stunt at the end

And continues to be passed out for almost the entirety of Ivan's song

Oh but he woke up for the emotional/musical climax at least, going over Ivan's most important memory of them together, that's cool at least right?! Surely Till felt something from that

Maybe they can talk something out, or at least acknowledge their relationship in Some way. Maybe Ivan could at least be seen by Till-

Aaand Till's Actual love interest Supposedly gets shot and now he probably thinks she's dead. His attention is turned to her once again, like it's always been from the start. He never really changes huh?

Better luck next time Ivan--

Just. This mf Never Wins and it makes me Laugh as much as it makes me So Sad

Gets hopes and dreams and future crushed by aliens (standard stuff). Sold off in an auction. Put in prestigious singing school and up to that point he hasn't really cared about Anything and has simply been going through the motions.

Meets boy that basically embodies the freedom and hope he used to have. Falls badly in love. Boy loves someone else. Tries to free him and give him the thing he'd surely want most. Rejected. Back to school you go loser.

Oh btw this school is to train you for a competition to the death. Btw you're facing off against that boy you love in the semi-finals of said death competition. And you might kill him or he'll kill you. Because you didn't run away when you had the chance.

Also he didn't sing or think about you at all during his round. In fact I'm pretty sure he wrote a whole ass song that wasn't even registered in the Alien Queue or whatever for someone else. Also he probably has hardly looked at you. Also he was unconscious for almost the entirety of your song. Except for the part where you lost control of your emotions.

Oh but that doesn't matter now because now he thinks the person He likes was just killed. So he's kiiinda gonna be distracted by that. And that might fuck up your round with him. Sorry man

This was Originally a rant about how much I love Black Sorrow's imagery and the portrayal of Ivan's love because this man clearly has Complex Emotions and then Kinda derailed into me just ranting about how many L's he's being handed before getting the executioner's blade. Uhhhhh oops. Congrats on sticking to the end though?

I just love Ivan very much. He is So Bitter and so Horribly In Love and looks up to and is inspired by Till So Much and I wish people explored him on a deeper level/more personally.

I wish I saw more deep looks at Ivan/Till, there's clearly Complicated Things going on there. Hell, we don't even know what Till's pov on the whole thing is aside from that One scene of him hesitating before running away from Ivan. As much as I love fluffy interpretations of them, I (did I mention that I'm an angst addict btw. Could You Tell) wish all their Complexities could be acknowledged. Like how Ivan Clearly puts Till on such a spotlight and it is Such a downfall for him through and through and he Kinda knows it but also What Else does he Have and he really looks up to him Sooo Much (just. Look at them in that official art of them in Anakt Garden !!!) and deep down just wants to run away from this horrible place and wants to run with Till, the Light of his life the fire in the darkness the fucking stars the universe his black sorrow just. Oh My God I need to end this post already I was supposed to be studying but spent those 2 hours Writing instead

But anyways yeah uuhhh long story short? This guy is a gay loser. He tries to look sooo cool and smooth but he is suuuch a gay lovestruck loser and his rose tinted glasses are so thick he can't see shit (I'm pretty sure I quoted that from something (but also no genuinely when I first got into alnst after just watching the first 3 rounds videos and saw Ivan in official art I was So Surprised like "Oh he's actually That kind of mf that tries to look Cool and Hot but is actually just Pathetic and Sad and Gay I thought he was Just Sad and Gay")) he's probably also touchstarved as hell idk and his love is doomed by the narrative (unless Hyuna saves his and Till's asses. Buuut we'll see </333)

Love ya Ivan keep taking L's <3333 mwah

[lord-shitbox]

proposing a new interpretation of Ais's character where Ocudeus is read as Ais's Adhd Monkey. you know the concept. lets beat this guy to smithereens on impulse boy. yes you can use your magic powers to tame wild animals and have a bunch of creature pets. spend all your money on them NOW. im bored lets fight someone lets fight someone lets fight someone lets fight someone lets fight someone lets f

[redstrewn]

[rk-tmblr]

“Sometimes I caught myself staring at your arms, your hands touching everything so carefree it scared me. I could never. And you knew it. I knew it. But lately… more often than not, as I stare, I go back to the memory of that stolen hug you bravely gave me. It came naturally to you. Unexpected. Immediately, you asked forgiveness while restoring the comfortable distance between us. And I was left there, dumbfounded. If I disliked physical contact, now I can say that hate way more the feeling you get after it. For a whole different reason, and it’s all your fault. Back then I realised how cold I was, while you were scorching hot. And I despised it. I still do. Now that I’m staring. Because it makes me longing for a hug of yours.”

Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Atsumu

[bunnymoon-phase]

Character Analysis on Vere, Part One

I've just played the demo for Touchstarved recently, but I'm already hooked and intrigued. I've got so many questions, and since I'll have to wait two years for answers I figure there's nothing wrong with a little theorizing and reading potentially too much into the characters.

I plan to make this a series of going through the game and picking out parts I find interesting to analyze them and the rest of the love interests as well, but I started with Vere because he's my favorite and the most compelling to me.

Something that intrigues me about Vere is the way he repeatedly establishes that he and the MC are similar, and how he almost seems to genuinely (if absently) want to keep them alive for it.

The first example comes when he's smelling you outside of the Wet Wick. He says "Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we're both--" before he gets cut off. After this, he tells his handler(?) that you're his friend (which is obviously a lie to get them off his back), and gives you the "advice" he later scolds you for ignoring, though it's more of a statement than warning: "Danger's drawn to you like a moth to flame. It will always find you given time." As is repeatedly stated in the demo, information is crucial currency in Eridia, and secrets are kept close to the chest. A statement that is presumably meant to act as a warning of caution like this can be precious, depending on the circumstances, and it is genuinely and (seemingly) out-of-character-ly merciful for Vere.

Later at the Wet Wick when you choose to speak to him, he claims not to be angry that you shunted his "advice," merely disappointed. The MC states that he's lying, but we're given no reason to believe so aside from their say-so and the bristling of his tail, which itself is only an indicator of displeasure in general than distinct anger.

(As the MC is neither omniscient nor a mind-reader, I'm inclined to treat them as slightly unreliable and take their assumptions with a grain of salt, save for where their connections and objective statements imply thematic importance, as we'll see later.)

Regardless, Vere is unhappy that you put yourself in danger at the Seaspring--but why? Because he wants you alive? Because his pride is hurt that you ignored his warning? Here we get the second instance of him comparing the two of you: "People like us can't help but attract danger." At this point I wonder if he's only buttering you up with feigned comradery to lure you into trusting him--it's after this that he lures you out of the Wick, alone with no witnesses. Yet if that is the case, why mention when you meet that you're both [redacted]? There's no guarantee he'll have ever seen you again.

Once outside you can ask him about what he thinks of the others, and I'll get to that later in the post (edit: I will not. It will have to be a separate post), but beyond that you ask him why he was imprisoned by the Senobium, and he does it again. "For the same reason they'll disappear you if given half the chance: I'm something special." Again, he draws a parallel between himself and you.

Ais tells us that Vere is the most honest person the MC will meet, so long as we ignore everything he says; Vere repetitively says that he and the MC are similar, so it may very well be manipulation, but I'm inclined to believe otherwise based on the contexts he's said them in: An observation of a stranger he's really smelling for the first time (being paired with the statement, "I knew I smelled blood. You reek of death and the road, and that fucking doctor," all of which we conclude must be truthful analysis on Vere's part due to what we as the player just witness the MC go through), an expression of frustration for his advice being disregarded, a report on the Senobium's well-known corruption.

We continue with his statements that differ per backstory. To an Unnamed MC, he says "You poor thing, mislead by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all." To an Alchemist, he says "The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it's like to be used and thrown away. I'll give your life new meaning." Finally, to a Hound he says, "The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search with no end. I can give you something new to live for."

For the Unnamed and Alchemist backstories, he draws another parallel--he has felt before what you feel now. This could be further manipulation, but it's curious then that he wouldn't do the same for the Hound MC. This is not to say that he feels no kinship with a Hound MC--he's made three un-customized statements otherwise already, and one still to be addressed momentarily, but if it were all fabricated then one would think he'd make that emotional connection regardless of player backstory, in order to take advantage of the MC's emotional vulnerability.

Granted, during those statements he's trying to devour you. Some might use this as reasoning to take this evidence with a grain of salt; I am not so convinced, for reasons outlined below.

The inner monologue of the MC at about the same moment: "The look on his face makes my blood run cold. I've seen it before. Traveling through the wastes, the lanterns would occasionally reveal carcasses picked clean by starving scavengers whose eyes shone in the dark with the same ravenous hunger."

It is interesting to me that Vere seems by all accounts to relate to the MC and want to keep them alive, and yet kill them so irreverently and with next to no provocation. Personally, this seems like an apt and realistic scenario; as much as Vere seems to sympathize, he's known the MC for barely a date at this point, and likely doesn't care overmuch. Getting them alone was an opportunity for a snack; he well warned them of the way danger follows them, and yet they followed him alone into an alleyway regardless, and he is a killer after all. To me this seems like a rare extension of help (insomuch as Vere would help anyone) that was rejected, and so as this person is insignificant despite vaguely remind him of himself and his circumstances, a meal is a meal.

I bring you now to the final moment of Vere drawing a connection between the two of you. When choosing not to submit he releases you, and as a goodbye, states "You and I might be alike, but don't ever forget what I do best."

I feel that's a perfect way to wrap up that segment.

I'd intended for this post to encompass his feelings towards the MC as well as the other romantic options in the game, but I'd forgotten how I've a tendency to be verbose when theorizing and explaining my line of thinking. I'll split this into two parts for now, then, before moving onto the other characters (who I hope I won't have quite so much to say about ^^;).

Perhaps this all was obvious to you, but I like to think it's worth setting out in the open anyway, and most certainly fun to do so on my part.

[dolceaspidenera]

Hey everyone, here's the second entry for my playlists of the Touch Starved characters and this time is Ais' turn (gosh I'm obsessed with this man)!

You can find the complete playlist on Spotify at this link

Of all the characters' playlists, this is the most metal-packed one, let's see how many metalheads are hidden in this fandom 🤘🏻😁 As always, feel free to let me know what you think and, if you want, to share your own playlists, I'd really love to geek together about music and Touch Starved!

A couple of thoughts on my song choices

I think Ais is a much more complex character than he appears to be and despite this, he strikes you with a disarming simplicity. His being a black sheep and an outcast creates a sense of affinity that is easy to empathize with, while his disarming honesty about feeling alone gives the final blow in all its rawness. He is a misfit who pretends to be okay with it but deep down yearns for connection, he presents himself as violent and dangerous (which he definitely is) and yet deep down he is also caring, vulnerable and lonely. 

Which musical genre, therefore, is better suited to those who feel a bit like black sheep and marginalized by their community than heavy metal? Heavy metal, despite the many groups that have literally made the history of music, was originally mocked and denigrated, considered transgressive, dangerous music and swamped by criticism and prejudice. At the same time, it was able to gather around those who felt outcasts and enable them to express all the rage and frustration that come with it, while finding a sense of pride and membership. Metal is by its nature a genre without filters, it enters your guts creating raw emotions and I think it is the most suitable to describe Ais, who, in his very design, clearly bears the signs and brand of metalheads (rings, bracelets and leather belts and studded boots) and I am convinced that it is no coincidence.

Songs with an irreverent nature like Bad Reputation and Highway to Hell were obvious choices, Bad Boys Are Here in particular suited Ais' fondness for brawling, as well as being reminiscent of his gang, while Evil Eyes is rather self-explanatory. I then wanted to add a few more "angry" songs that well describe his situation with Ocudeus both musically and with their lyrics; Hive Mind, Domination, Master of Puppets and Perfect Insanity speak for themselves, while The Thing That Should Not Be was simply a must considering that it was written taking inspiration from Lovecraft works. Inside The Fire is perhaps the piece that requires a little more interpretation but it made me think of all the people who have found themselves choosing to drink from the Seaspring in the past.

Also, I added several songs, Flip in particular, which have peculiar sound influences and reminded me of the Ais' and Seaspring's music themes (which are the best pieces of the whole demo in my humble opinion), as well as being spot-on even as lyrics. Nobody's Listening caught my attention for the Japanese flute integrated into the song which refers to all the elements of oriental culture present in Ais' design and it was immediately a perfect match. Smoke and Water could very well have been written for Ais since it fits him perfectly, it's dark, eerie and sexy at the same time.

Finally, to highlight the most vulnerable sides of this multifaceted character (and to take a breather amidst all the angst-filled songs), I chose songs like Lonely Day (which speaks for itself), Demons of Pain and Fear of The Water, which fits very well with a scenario where MC decides to drink from the Seaspring. 

I started with the good purpose of keeping it short ad ended up writing sooo much, I'm sorry. If you read this far, thank you! If you also happen to listen to this playlist and enjoy it, double thank you and congratulations, you have excellent music taste! 🫵🏽🤘🏻

[toeridiaorbust]

Devs, You're Hilarious For This

I looked up what Lovent could possibly mean, and Wikitionary came through for me:

[Image ID: A screenshot from Wikitionary, featuring the word 'lovent'. It's a French word, that's a "third-person plural present/indicative/subjunctive of 'lover'.

Below that is a subtitle called Anagrams: which has the word 'volent' underneath. End Image ID].

[More under the cut!]

I followed the link from there and the next page gave me this:

[Image ID: A screenshot from Wikitionary, featuring the word 'volent'. It's an English word, meaning 'that exercises will or free choice.' End Image ID].

Okay, that makes some kind of sense? Choices do matter in a VN like this.

I scroll down a little more, and I get thrown off by seeing the definition from Latin —

[Image ID: A screenshot from Wikitionary, featuring the word 'volō', defined as ('I fly') under Etymology 1.

Under subtitle Etymology 2, it's "From volō (“I wish”)". End Image ID].

Put it altogether, and what do you get?

Mhin's portion from the visualizer of Touchstarved's cover, Everytime We Touch:

Your arms are my castle Your heart is my sky They wipe away tears that I cry The good and the bad times We've been through them all You make me rise when I fall 'Cause every time we touch I get this feeling And every time we kiss I swear I can fly Can't you feel my heart beat fast I want this to last Need you by my side

I have to say, very very clever, devs. My hat's off to you!

[If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. I've seen all the reblogs, likes, and new followers from my last theory post. I appreciate every single one of you 💜].

[ldworldblues]

despite the game only giving us surface knowledge of leander for the prologue i now believe i understand his character more deeply than anyone else (to be proven)