#tossawary spn

[tossawary]

Thinking about "Transformers" AUs for non-TF fandoms again, specifically Human/Cybertronian pairings, and realized that the setup of "ancient, superpowered, non-human being fallen from the heavens and fighting an ancient, inescapable war between two factions concerning freedom and control" and "mechanic who wouldn't be opposed to fucking their car" almost perfectly fits Castiel and Dean Winchester from "Supernatural".

[tossawary]

The two world building directions that appeal to me off the top of my head for a TF fusion (note: not a crossover):

Firstly, a "no magical supernatural elements, just the SPN characters in a fully TF universe" setup, where the Angels are loosely the equivalent of the Autobots and the Demons are loosely the equivalent of the Decepticons. (This would be one of those continuities where the characters soon figure out that while the Decepticons absolutely suck, the Autobots are faaaaar from the perfect "good guys".)

John and Mary Winchester's house was attacked by a Decepticon looking for the Allspark (or some other MacGuffin), which killed Mary, and sent John down a "aliens are real and the government is hiding them from us" (unfortunately correct belief) path which ruined Dean and Sam's childhood.

Sam was a baby and has zero memory of this, and so bailed on the "tinfoil hat conspiracist" lifestyle to go to university, while Dean has some memories of giant robots but he's never been able to decide whether they're real or not. John has stumbled on some alien tech shit that seems kind of legit, Dean has helped him with some illegal shit, but mostly Dean tries to keep his head down working as a mechanic under Bobby Singer.

Everything goes to shit when some Decepticons show up looking for the Allspark again, tearing apart Dean's workplace, and he has to go on the run. Autobot Castiel (with those brilliant blue eyes) shows up to fight back. Cue plot (and romance?) from there.

There is absolutely some scene where, even though Castiel has just saved Dean's life, Dean will not shut the fuck up about how it's embarrassing for him to be see in this tan-colored, office-worker-mobile. Until a pissed-off Castiel pitches Dean's ass out of the car onto the side of the road, so he can drive off to scan a sufficiently "sexy" vehicle, even though it doesn't blend in as well.

Secondly, there's a "as initially close to SPN canon as possible, the Angels just have transforming robots for vessels" setup. Which is a Crack AU, yeah, but could also be a Crack Treated Seriously AU.

After the first war between Angels, some Angel named Primus or Quintesson gets the bright idea to develop inorganic vessels for Angels using a combination of magic and advanced technology. Archangel Michael is so emotionally hungover and metaphysically exhausted from locking his brother in a cage in a pit in hell that he signs off on it. Fine, just go do it in space somewhere where the Humans won't see.

Alternatively, this project is the last thing that Archangel Gabriel greenlights before fucking off out of heaven.

Primus goes off and builds a space station that ultimately becomes the planet Cybertron, with a bunch of other Angels, borrowing some genius Humans from heaven for help sometimes. For some people, their heaven is also the Angels' sci-fi-esque, techno-magic giant mech R&D department; it's a very efficient system like that. Some of those Humans have a great fucking time, honestly.

This project is unexpectedly popular because 1) a lot of Angels generally agree that all physical forms are kind of disgusting, but the organic ones are extra gross, so these robot ones are better. 2) Humans are very weak. 30ft-tall transforming robots are actually much more capable and efficient when crushing Demons. 3) A lot of Angels actually feel bad for the Humans when taking Human vessels, so this sidesteps that issue for the Human lovers. 4) Robot vessels will also, hopefully, stop the Humanfuckers among them from making more Nephilim and shit like that.

Some of the Angels are like, "The Lord didn't say anything about giant robot vessels during the apocalypse???" But Michael has come around to the idea more and more over the years. He kind of likes the idea of curbstomping hell this way. Fuck those guys. If they want a real apocalyptic battle, they should step up their game.

Dean gets brought back from hell sooner, but it still takes Castiel a while to show up on Earth to meet him, because he took some damage and had to bring a new vessel all the way from Cybertron. And Castiel, an Angel of the Lord, shows up as a 30ft-tall transforming robot that can have magic laser guns for hands and runs on Angel grace. What the fuck. (Who can also transform into a copy of the Impala to "blend in". What the FUCK.)

Meanwhile, the Demons, who had previously been gloating over the fact that THEY had been developing new horrors (Croatoan virus, etc.) for the apocalypse while distant heaven remained seemingly complacent, are fucking reeling over the fact that their foes have apparently turned themselves into an army of extra divine Optimus Primes. "What the FUCK," says the yellow-eyed Demon, with a 10ft-long magic gun pointed at his squishy face.

That Angel called Primus time-travelled to the future, watched Evangelion, and was like, "Damn, this shit fucks." Which is going to be a problem for the Winchester brothers later, possibly, when Angels who hate humanity are throwing their weight around, but for right now, it's hell's problem.

Thirdly...

If you wanted to make this second AU into an actual crossover rather than a fusion AU, you could have it so the Angels were essentially the Quintessons (they even have matching multiple heads) and the robot vessels actually gained sentience / sapience. The Cybertronians had an uprising against their creators, which led to a more autonomous society, which unfortunately still had all of the shitty biases and functionist politics left over from their creators, which ultimately led to the Autobot and Decepticon war. TF continuity can be more or less intact: Optimus Prime and the other Cybertronians are just also the descendants of new inorganic species of partially angelic robots that rebelled against heaven.

Michael is STILL mad at the original Primus Angel about this catastrophic fuck-up. (And also Gabriel if Gabriel was the one who signed off on the project.) Lucifer is sooooo going to laugh at him for this later.

Thinking about "Transformers" AUs for non-TF fandoms again, specifically Human/Cybertronian pairings, and realized that the setup of "ancient, superpowered, non-human being fallen from the heavens and fighting an ancient, inescapable war between two factions concerning freedom and control" and "mechanic who wouldn't be opposed to fucking their car" almost perfectly fits Castiel and Dean Winchester from "Supernatural".