#torture breaks everyone (even james buchanan barnes) but i think he will always view it as being his fault that he didn't hold out longer

[gyokujyn]

CATWS 10th Anniversary | April 2nd » Prompts: Bucky Barnes for @catws-anniversary

a loving homage to A Softer World and @asofteravenger

[amhrosia]

They Don’t Know About Us (Pt.1)

Description: Bucky realizes that he loves you, but won’t reveal his feelings because you’re Tony’s daughter and he values his life.

Warnings: angst, slight age-gap (legal, obvi.), fluff, illusion to smut, but no actual smut (yet!), cursing

(A/N: 2.7k words // I just created this account to post some of my old fanfics/imagines/blurbs that I had saved on my computer. I’m gonna upload them a little bit at a time and continue to write more! Requests are always open :P)

Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

The city was beautiful at night. Your bedroom window provided one of the best views of New York in the world, and you’d been sitting on the window ledge for hours watching as the city lit up the night sky. You’d long missed Jarvis' call to dinner, perfectly content to sit in front of your window for the time being and sneak into the kitchen for food later.  

To be perfectly honest, you were starving, but not hungry enough to endure a meal in the same room as Bucky. He’d been acting strange recently, and you were almost positive that you were the cause of this odd behavior. He was acting like he did when you first met him; quiet, broody, extremely reserved. Nothing like the Bucky you’d grown used to over the last six months. It was as if all the sudden a flip had switched, and you were no longer a priority of his.  

Your affair with him had obviously been kept a secret. No one in the tower knew about your late-night rendezvous, save for Jarvis, who kindly served as an alarm clock when you and Bucky accidentally fell asleep in your bed. 

It had started, almost by accident, six months ago. It was 2:30 in the morning, and you were full on sobbing into a book because your favorite character had died. Bucky had knocked on your door after waking to your heart-wrenching sobs. The walls between your rooms weren’t nearly as thick as you’d originally thought.

He’d awkwardly stepped into the room asking if you wanted to talk about it, and the rest was history. He came by almost every night after that, asking you about your favorite books, movies, and music and in turn, sharing his favorites with you.  

It was an innocent friendship at first, but you couldn’t help noticing his lingering gazes when you were around the rest of the team.  Your heart would quicken when he entered a room, giving you a soft smile as he continued his work for your dad. Lingering stares turned into “accidental” brushes against your hand when you walked by each other in the hallway, or a light touch on the waist when no one was looking.  

Your late-night chats soon became more serious. He opened up about his past with Hydra, providing far more details than he ever had with Steve or your dad. You talked about the overwhelming pressure of being Tony Stark’s daughter and a part of the Avengers. Both of you revealed information to each other that you’d never said out loud before.

The first time you kissed was three months ago. You’d been rambling about your dad’s decision to finally allow you to have a solo mission. He had leaned across the bed and planted his lips to yours, holding your face gently in his hands.  

“I’m so proud of you,” he had said with a wide smile.  

This continued for months, him sneaking into your room and kissing you until the sun began to rise, when he’d begrudgingly go back to his room to avoid suspicion from the rest of the team.  

You had long since accepted your feelings for him, but you weren’t going to be the one to tell him. You had never discussed what your relationship was to Bucky, never talked about labels or the future. For all you knew, you and Bucky were friends with barely any benefits. You hadn’t slept together or done anything else besides kiss.

This troubled your mind when Bucky’s visits became more and more infrequent. He started avoiding your gaze in public and wouldn’t touch you unless it was necessary. The last night he had stopped by your room was almost two weeks ago.  

The past few weeks you had barely talked and ate even less. Everyone in the tower was concerned about you. You’d stopped spending time in the common areas, preferring the solitude of your room. You had no excuse when you were asked why you’d been spending so much time in your room. You’d simply shrug the question off, mumbling an “I don’t know”, before returning to your room.  

In truth, you were avoiding Bucky like the plague. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room as his cold, uninterested demeanor. When you were forced out of your room by your dad, you sat in the furthest seat from Bucky, avoiding the area of the room he was in. The few times you’d snuck a glance at him, he had been slouched in his seat, glaring into his hands.  

Your stomach growled loudly as you rested your head against the window, wondering if you’d ever get the courage to confront Bucky.

A knock at the door startled you from your thoughts. You didn’t lift your head when you heard the familiar steps of the man you loved shuffle into the room.

“You weren’t at dinner. I brought you some of it.” Bucky’s voice was low and raspy.  

You turned your head, glancing at him as he stood just inside the barrier of your room. He looked glorious, as usual, but that thought sent a sharp pain through your heart. His eyes were on yours, full of worry and doubt.

You cleared your throat.

“Thanks, Bucky. You can just set it on the desk.”

Your voice was wobbly, dripping with melancholic undertones.

Bucky nodded, turning to set the tray of food on your desk. You turned your head back towards the window, willing your tears to stay safely inside your tear ducts until Bucky left the room.  

“Y/n...” His voice was closer now. You could hear him shuffling his feet uncomfortably behind you.  

You closed your eyes, a tear slipping down your cheek as you ignored his call. The pain of him being so close after so long was unrelenting.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” He was right behind you now, gently running his fingers through your hair.  

“What did I do wrong?” You asked after a beat of silence. By this point, tears were streaming down your cheeks. You hastily wiped them away, refusing to turn around and face the inevitable of him breaking your heart without realizing it.

“Nothing, baby,” Bucky whispered, “Please look at me. I hate seeing you cry.”

You slowly turned to face him. He was on his knees looking up at you with tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.

You kept your eyes on his, waiting for an explanation, or an apology for leaving you high and dry out of nowhere.  

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, y/n. You have to know that,” Bucky said, reaching up to lightly grasp your hands.  

You scoffed, rolling your eyes.  

“I don’t understand what the problem is all the sudden. Everything was fine until it wasn’t.”  

“I know baby,” he nodded, resting his head in your hands, “You have to know I wasn’t expecting any of this when I met you. I thought you were just some spoiled rich girl with nothing to offer. I have never been happier to be wrong. You’re so smart and easy to talk to. You get along with everyone and you’re a really skilled fighter. I would love nothing more than to spend forever hearing you talk about books and music and movies.” He said, looking up at you again.

Your heart was pounding. This was not what you had expected from the man kneeling in front of you. Everything he was saying was what you wanted to hear, but it didn’t make you feel any better. He was obviously struggling with some aspect of the non-relationship you two were having.

You kneeled in front of him, lowering yourself to his level and wiping the tears that had started to flow down his cheeks.  

“I still don’t understand what the problem is, Bucky.” Your eyes searched his for a clear answer, an understanding for why he had been acting so strangely around you.

“I think I’m in love with you, y/n, but I can’t- I mean I want to, but- ugh, I’m so conflicted,” He muttered, shaking his head, “Your dad is basically my boss, y/n. Do you understand how Tony Stark, fucking ruler of the world, could make my life hell if he found out how I felt about you? What he could do to separate me from you? I can’t be apart from you, y/n, I can’t. These last few weeks were torture, and you were only 20 feet away from me. Imagine if he sent me to a different country or something?”  

Your heart was buzzing at his words. He loved you. And he had just said it, out loud, to your face. You couldn’t help but laugh. This is what he was avoiding you for? His eyebrows furrowed as you wiped your tears away and suppressed more laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Everything. You.” You smiled, cupping his cheek. “I love you, James.”

His eyes lit up. You leaned in, kissing him softly. His arms enveloped you as he deepened the kiss, tongue meeting yours.  

You slowly began unbuttoning his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against yours after being apart for so long.  

He pulled back, resting his hands on your wrists and stopping you from unbuttoning the last button on his shirt.

“Are you sure?” He eyed you, breathing hard.  

“James Buchanan Barnes, I love you, but please, please, take my clothes off and fuck me.”  

That undid any self-control he had over himself. He quickly picked you up, bridal style, and carried you to the bed.

[page break]

The early morning light seeped into your room, waking you from your deep slumber. A heavy arm rested on your waist and you could hear the deep breathing of a certain super soldier cuddled up behind you. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d awoken feeling this rested.

Wait.

Why is Bucky still here if it’s late enough for the sun to be up?  

Your eyes snapped open at the thought. Sitting up, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. Bucky shifted, groaning at the abrupt movement.

“Jarvis,” you said, still rubbing your eyes, “why didn’t you wake us up?”

“Jarvis was updating last night. I didn’t realize you relied so heavily on him for your wake-up calls, my sneaky little offspring.”  

Your head shot up, eyes widening as you looked directly into the eyes of your father, who was standing at the end of your bed visibly fuming. Bucky stiffened beside you, lifting his head with eyes that matched your own.  

“I’m going to let you two get dressed. And then, I expect to see both of you in the lab. Is that clear?” Your dad’s voice was calm – too calm. He turned to leave, and you could’ve sworn that you saw smoke coming out of his ears.  

You and Bucky spoke at the same time.

“Dad, wait-”

“Tony, it’s not what you-”

Your father interrupted before either of you could get a sentence out.

His tone was noticeably rising. “I don’t care. You,” he said pointing at Bucky, “should be ashamed of yourself for preying on an innocent young girl. And you-,” he pointed at you, clenching his jaw, “you should know better than to screw around with a team member.”  

“But Dad, we’re not screwing-”

“ENOUGH. I’m giving you five minutes. If you’re not down there, you both can pack your bags and get out.”  

You watched him as he briskly walked out of the room.  

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.” You muttered, shaking your head. Bucky’s hands rubbed along your lower back as you mentally prepared for the shit storm that was about to go down in the lab.

“What was that all about?” Steve stuck his head in your room and immediately shielded his eyes, “Oh. Oh, man. Oh, man Bucky! What the hell?”  

“Nothing man, don’t worry about it,” Bucky responded, sitting up, voice still raspy with sleep.

“We should get dressed.” He turned to you, pressing his lips to your shoulder.

[page break]

You and Bucky stepped into the living room, fully dressed and terrified. Natasha, Bruce, Steve, and Thor were sitting in various chairs around the room, trying way too hard to look like they weren’t talking about what Steve saw before you entered the room.  

“It’s fine, guys, you don’t have to act like you don’t know,” you groaned, rolling your eyes.

They visibly relaxed, the room’s energy lightening immensely, and then immediately began pestering you and Bucky with questions.

“How did this happen?” Thor asked

“Why didn’t you tell me, y/n?” Natasha looked hurt.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Bucky?” Steve looked even more offended.

You were not equipped to handle the interrogation from the others. The morning had been shitty enough. Your glowing mood from the events of the night before was seeping away quickly. Seeing that you were overwhelmed, Bucky led you to the elevator, mumbling a “tell you later” to the group.

When the elevator doors opened to lab, you slowly took a step out, sending a silent prayer out to the universe.

Your dad was sitting at his desk working on a piece from one of his Iron Man suits. The silence in the room was unbearable.

“That was six minutes.” Your dad said irritably, looking up at you as he waved away the help of his robot.

“Dad-”

“Tony-Mr. Stark,” Bucky stepped forward, “this isn’t what you think it is. I swear, we’re not just messing around. I love your daughter, more than I’d care to admit.” His voice trailed off as he looked at your dad.

Your dad stayed silent, looking Bucky up and down before turning to you.

“It’s true.” You added, meekly.

Your dad’s eyes narrowed. His eyes flitted back and forth between you and Bucky.

“Dad, please don’t freak out. I’m an adult. I wouldn’t have gotten into this if I didn’t think it was worth it. I love him. It hasn’t affected our work and it won’t.” You finally said, your voice strong and unwavering.  

“I don’t like this,” he responded, voice low, “but I can’t stop you, I guess. I didn’t realize you were so...involved with each other. I don’t think I need to say that if you even think about hurting her, you’re a dead man walking, super soldier or not.”  

You let out a harsh giggle, clapping your hand over your mouth as Bucky and your father turned to look at you, one with amusement, and the other with disdain.  

[page break]

“Do you think it’ll be that awkward forever?” You groaned, falling forward on your bed.

Once you and Bucky were released from your dad’s scrutiny, you went to tell the rest of the Avengers as much information as you could muster. You definitely did not want them getting all the gory details of your relationship with Bucky.

Bucky laughed, “No, I just think everyone’s trying to get over the fact that we’ve been...together...for the last three months and none of them figured it out.”

He sat down on the edge of your bed, reaching over to pinch your side.  

You smiled, climbing over him to straddle his waist. His eyes, an icy blue that had recently become your favorite color in the world, bore into yours as he rested his forehead against yours.

“So...last night was fun.” You mumbled

“Yes,” he affirmed, slightly nodding.

“Does that make me...”

“My girlfriend? I would hope so. Is that something you’d be interested in, Miss Stark?” He smirked, eyes glimmering.

“Yes,” you breathed, smiling.  

“Well then, I guess it’s official.”  

He leaned in to kiss you softly. His lips were the softest thing you’d ever felt. You couldn’t get enough of him.  

You could definitely get used to this.

[aries-writingblog]

Atlas (8)

Summary: After years of being imprisoned on the Raft, Tony negotiates freedom for his sister Tessa. When she’s free- so is her past, and it will never stop hunting her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC(Stark)

Chapter Word count: 1810

Warnings: PTSD (subtle ish), trauma, torture (in later parts), suicidal behaviors and thoughts, mentions of death, character death, injury, violence, angst, and a lil bit of fluff in there

Disclaimer: Atlas is my own, original work with characters belonging to Marvel (except Tessa and Dr. Clifton). Plagiarism is not cool kids.

A/N: this is my first work I'm posting to this platform and I’m really excited and nervous about it. Hope you enjoy- constructive criticism is always helpful as well!!

She couldn’t breathe. There was a pressure building on her left side, an itch she couldn’t scratch. Her eyes were dry, like her mouth. Tessa peeled her eyelids open, having been cemented shut, it took tremendous effort- effort she barely possessed. She couldn’t hear straight, it sounded like she was underwater. A muted beep from a monitor. Rain pelting the windows of the white washed clinical room. Something tickling her forearm. She looked down. Tony.

He was grasping her hand, resting his head beside them, hair tickling her skin. She then moved her eyes to her side where a tube was running from a patch of white bandages. Along her right arm, bandages were wrapped around raw flesh. She could still see the burn marks on her wrists. In her left arm, an IV filtered blood and fluids into her system, repairing what had been damaged. She groaned as she rested her head on the pillow.

She wasn’t supposed to make it out of there. None of this had gone according to her plan. Tessa wasn’t stupid. She knew Clifton would be on her as soon as she stepped foot out of her cage on the Raft. She knew she would have to make a choice, a choice of repentance. So, when she noticed the trap he’d set for them, she couldn’t help but take the bait. Part of her wanted to flip the script and take revenge on him. But then... then Bucky happened. He’d been so kind to her- accepting her. She felt that she owed him a truth- even if it was in the form of a dead man’s ramblings. And so she did just that- confided in him, knowing that one way or another, she was never going to come back. He wasn’t supposed to be collateral damage.

Tony shifted, his head turning further away from her. She bit her lip, sinking down deeper into the sheets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y’know, if you cooperated with the professionals, things would go a lot smoother.” Tony snipped at her. Tessa scowled deeper, turning her head to the side. It had been a week since the mission, since everything about Tessa had been made public amongst the team. Since Tony had released the files to the whole team, Tessa had been ignoring him every time he visited her. She was angry- the emotion palpable in the air. She had even begun to be irritable with the nurses and her doctor. Of course, they associated it with her being on bed rest for a week- knowing it would get worse because she was meant to stay there for a whole month.

She refused to allow any of the team members entrance to her room- even Bucky. Tony was only allowed in because he told Friday to over ride her command. News of her slow response to treatment had to come from the nurses or the small bits that Tony would share- which was always begrudgingly. Her therapist and parole officer were also allowed in for their visits. There had been talk of moving her back to the Raft, but Tony had shot it down, explaining in colorful detail how she hadn’t done anything wrong. Ever.

But Tessa was becoming restless. She could no longer stand the sight of the hospital room. When she was trapped within the four walls, she could only think about the botched missions and what Clifton said. She was trapped. So, she decided to take things into her own hands. Painstakingly slow, she got up from her bed, a tube no longer in her lung but it was still stitched up and painful. Most of her wounds were well on their way to healing but her mind was still fragile.

Tessa had been immediately changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt as soon as she regained consciousness. So she simply unhooked her heart monitor, taking her IV of fluids with her to the door.

She hadn’t realized Bucky had done nothing but sit outside her medical room for the past week, waiting to be able to slip into the room to talk to her. Tony had been guarding her, keeping him away. Unlike his sister, Tony held a grudge. So when Tessa’s door opened and she stepped out, he was surprised. She looked like she hadn’t slept since she came back- undoubtedly plagued by nightmares. Her skin was pale, under eyes dark. When her eyes landed on his, she stiffened, her whole body freezing. They stared for a long moment, neither of them giving in.

“If you’re breaking out of your room, you’ll need to move a little faster.” Bucky quipped, a teasing tone overtaking the concern. Tessa started to take off, her gait a small, shuffle toward the elevator. Bucky stood up, stretching his arms out before sidling up beside her.

“What do you want?” She muttered, slightly annoyed and embarrassed by his presence. She almost stumbled, her left foot catching on her right. She cursed lowly, while Bucky simply hooked an arm around her waist, steadying her. She tried to push away but Bucky had an iron grip, keeping her where he wanted. He was done waiting around. He was going to talk to her whether she wanted to or not. She was going to listen to what he had to say.

“Well if you’re going for a little sight seeing- might I suggest the floor ninety? It’s got a lovely view and- bonus: less of an elevator ride.” Bucky steered her into the elevator and locked her down, his hand drawing smooth circles on her hip.

“Isn’t that your floor?” She grumbled, leaning against him to relieve some of the weight on her feet. He hummed in response and looked down at her. She was scowling, eyes glued to the floor.

“See, I’ve been waiting outside that room for a week now. I’ve had time to think about everything that was said while we were in captivity. Don’t think I’m an idiot, by the way.” Bucky watched her begin to shut down at the mentions of the cell. The mentions of her admitted transgressions. “I’ve been where you are, where you’ve been.” Tessa scoffed as the elevator dinged open.

“You don’t know me.” She bit back, eager to be out of his hold, out of his sight. She couldn’t hold herself together around him anymore. Telling him everything- trusting him with that information... she didn’t want to see him now, not when he could judge her for it. Because all she wanted from him was to be accepted. Not pitied, not scorned, not disgusted. Loved. She didn’t know what the two kisses were on that battlefield, she didn’t know what any of it meant.

“Don’t I?” He asked, opening the apartment door. The pair quickly pushed through the living room, bypassing Steve who was sat on the couch, watching the news. He had heard the door open, figuring it was Bucky so he didn’t turn. Until he heard the roll of wheels.

“Is that Tessa?” He called, watching the receding backs of the two. His brows furrowed as Bucky’s bedroom door slammed shut, cutting the pair off from the rest of the world.

“Oh, well please, enlighten me on how you know every thought I’ve ever had.” Tessa sat down on his bed, the white cotton sheets felt much better than the stiff medbay fabrics she had been confined to.

“Alright, fine,” Bucky began shuffling around his room, seemingly in search of something. “You shut yourself off from everyone, you think it keeps us safe but really, it’s just a way of excusing your pity party and prolonging suffering you feel you deserve. You keep everything to yourself, no matter how much it pains you to do that. You don’t sleep well, nightmares keeping you up. You don’t eat much- if you do it’s at random times at night, where you don’t have to interact with us. You let one person in and immediately shut them out because you felt that you could hurt them before even giving it a chance.” Bucky stopped his search, turning to look at her over his shoulder. “Am I par for the course?”

“Shut the hell up.” She growled, gently laying back on his neatly made bed. “So what if i don’t want to hurt you- why is that a bad thing? I want to keep you all safe. What’s the harm in that- what the fuck are you looking for?”

“Got it...” Bucky stood straight again before walking to her. He knelt down on the bed beside her. “It isn’t a bad thing- it’s just that you’re going about it in a destructive way. You can keep us safe and live too. The way you’re going now, that’s not living. You’re just floating from day to day. Here. They found 'em last week and sent them to me. I’ve been waiting to give them to you.” He held a hand out, intending to drop the object into her palm. Tessa sighed and held it out flat. A cool metal grazed her palm and she broke her gaze off from his to look at it. Dog tags. She held them in front of her face to read them more clearly. They were slightly rusted, but the name was still clear: James Buchanan Barnes. “I’m not judging you for a mistake made six years ago. A mistake that was made with the best intentions in mind. With the best resources you had at the time. The Tessa I want to know is still in there- I’ve seen her during those late night talks in the light of the fridge. I’ve heard her when you talked about growing up with Tony or your early days in the military. And I’m gonna do everything I can to make her happy, because she’s gone through enough.”

Tessa swallowed, feeling the beginning of tears pricking at her eyes. She was speechless- her own mind waging war on itself.

“You know just what to say to make a girl blush, huh?” She sniffled, trying to laugh through it. Bucky grinned and took the tags, slipping them over her head, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Stay here for the night, please? I know that you shouldn’t really be out of the med bay yet but... I want to talk to you- I want to be around you. Please?” Bucky asked, his bottom lip pouting slightly and his blue eyes shining with hope. Tessa pretended to think it over, pressing her hand to the dog tags that occupied her chest.

“Okay. I’ll stay here. Only for tonight- and no funny business, Barnes.” She winced, sitting up. Bucky was quick to press a hand to her back, helping her sit. He gave a grin that would make the Cheshire Cat bashful.

“No promises, sweetheart.”

[weirdochick56]

Enhanced- Bucky Barnes Chapter One

Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader

Warnings: Explicit Language. A bit of self-hate(?)

Disclaimers: I don’t own any of the MCU characters/plots mentioned.

Word count: 1, 713 words

Read Summary Here!!

***

“Steve, you do realize that I’m not a child, right?” You cross your arms over your chest, looking at the tall blonde with a scowl.

Steve sighs, nodding. “Yes Y/n. But you aren’t ready to-“

“To what? Go on a mission with you guys?!” You motion to the rest of the team who is silently watching you twos’ exchange.

Steve opens his mouth, but you interrupt him before he could even speak. “If not now, then when Steve?”

Captain America averts his gaze, not responding. You can feel tears fill the back of your eyes. “Okay.” Your voice is low. “I’ll start packing my shit then.”

You whirl around, beginning to walk away. “Woah! Hold on for a bit there buttercup!” Tony blocks your way, his dark brows raised in surprise and his hands held up.

“Come on, you can’t leave just because-“

“What was I asked here for Tony?” You snap.

He seems baffled by the question, dazed, for a few seconds at least, before he lets his hands drop to his side limply.

“To train you so you could join the team.” He mumbles.

“Mhmm. And what have I been doing for the past four years?” Your voice is as sharp as a whip.

Tony sighs. “C’mon buttercup you-“

“Answer.”

His shoulders drop. “Training.”

“Exactly.” You smile bitterly, turning to face a silent team. “Natasha.” She looks at you instantly. “How many missions have I been on?”

She clears her throat. “None.” Is all she responds with, prompting a sarcastic smile to spread over your face.

“Yup.” You turn to look at a slightly down-cast and guilty Steve. “Captain, you told me that you believed in me. That you could see the good in me and that my powers could be used for good if I trained hard enough. And I have, for the past four years all I’ve done is train. And yet...” you pause, sucking in a shaky breath. “You’re keeping me cooped up in this gold cage. And the only thing I can credit that to is that you were wrong.” You hold back tears, your voice hoarse.

Steve’s eyes widen and he looks at you with urgency, “Oh gosh no, Y/n! I do believe in you. I-I just...” He trails off, looking conflicted. Waiting for him to say something makes the air feel tense. But you have hope that he’ll think it through and allow you to go.

Alas, he comes up with nothing.

So you nod sadly and sniffle. “Right then. If all I’m here for is to be hidden away from the world because you’re ashamed of me, I can just ask director Fury to transfer me to another base. Where I’ll actually be of use.” You spit the words out as if you’d meant them. Various of your team members flinch at your coldness, but you ignore them, turning around and bumping your shoulder with Tony’s on your way to your room.

***

“Fucking Steve and his protective ass. I. Need. A. Mission.” You stuff your clothes in harshly, wiping at tears furiously.

“Why?” You whirl around at the slightly familiar voice. James Buchanan Barnes is standing on the doorway, his face contorted slightly into pain. 

“Bucky?” your voice comes out as more of a question and less of a statement, prompting you to blush. You stop packing, motioning for him to come in. He sends you a small timid grin but walks in nonetheless.

You don’t miss the way he glances at your colorful room and all the band posters put up on the walls in awe. Your room was in great contrast to the rest of the team’s and even his. It had colors...and a theme.

He stands awkwardly by the foot of your bed, refusing to meet your eyes. You snort, picking up your only picture frame and placing it in between your clothes to keep it from breaking.

“I don’t bite ya know?” You muse, patting a spot besides your suitcase. He glances at it with a strange look. “Where are you going?”

You shrug as he stiffly sits on your queen sized bed, watching you shuffle around your room.

“I’m thinking of leaving sometime next week. I hear the crime rates in Russia are pretty high and the organization needs help.” You refrain from saying ‘crime’ actually meant HYDRA rates because you knew of his past with them. “Maybe I could go undercover there, start out slow and work my-“

“Don’t leave.” Bucky blurts the words out so randomly, you can’t help but jump a bit, startled.

You turn to look at him, perplexed. “Wha-“ He isn’t looking at you. His gaze is penetrating...the floor. “I said; don’t leave.” He raises his head slightly, looking at you with caution. Scared of your reaction to his heated confession.

You’re stunned into silence. Bucky had never talked to you as much as he had just now. And you’d known him for almost a year. Aside from the polite ���G’morning” or “pass me the salt please” now and again, he’d always been quiet around you. No idea why.

He amazed the fuck out of you though. How someone that was controlled and tortured for so long and forced to do such horrendous things yet was able to get up every morning was something you admired very much.

He takes your silence as some sort of weirded-out rejection and stands up, shaking his head lightly. “I’m sorry. Disregard anything-“ 

“Wait!” before he could make it far your hand shoots out faster than your brain can process and you grip his muscular forearm. Leaving you a stammering mess when Bucky glances at you with expectant aqua blue eyes.

“Uhh...I-i uh.” You lick your lips, shaking your head. “Uh to answer your question...” you offer him a smile, letting go of his arm tenderly and rubbing your own. It was strange to touch him. Granted, the minimal contact you’d have with him was really minimal so you weren’t used to being so close to him. Meaning you couldn’t exactly voice the fact that you suddenly felt the need to hear every word that came out of his mouth.

“I need a mission in order to prove myself to,” you laugh a little, “well...everyone.”

Bucky shakes his head, remaining silent for a while. “You really don’t.” he finally whispers, fiddling with his fingers. Something you’d recognized, as a nervous habit of his. 

Tilting your head sideways, you frown. “Why would you say that? I-I’m the weak link in this team. I have zero experience out in the field and now I doubt I ever will.” you sigh, plopping down on your bed. 

You can hear Bucky let out a disapproving huff from above you and you look up at him. “What?”

He shakes his head, disbelievingly. “Nothing. It’s just...” he chuckles a little and you try not to admire his rare small smile if even for a bit. “How could you ever think you’re the weak link in this team when y-you’re so...you.” he seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say, but you understood him nonetheless. This prompted a small blush and a racing heart.

You scoff at his notion, ignoring the fluttering in your heart. “Yeah so me. A monster.” your confession is so low, you’re surprised he even managed to hear you.

Silently, he sits next to you. ‘Fuck why did you have to say that out loud? Now he’s gonna ask what you meant.’ you curse yourself mentally, clenching your fists so hard, you thought your nails would pierce your skin.

He seems to take notice of your regretful gesture. “You know, if you’re a monster than I’m thirty-five years old.” his voice is still low, but slightly amused. You look at him in shock. Bucky almost never joked. Except for with Steve. 

He clears his throat, his expression strangely doubtful. “Not funny?”

You snap out of it, chuckling a little. “No, it’s funny. I’ve just never heard you joke with anyone except Steve,” you mutter truthfully.

He sighs. “Yeah, I just don’t trust many people will find my humor that funny.” his voice is breathy. As if it’s hard for him to speak. You jokingly bump your shoulder with his and he looks at you with a slightly startled expression.

“Hey, don’t sweat it. You’re talking to the girl who spends more time joking about death than she actually does worrying about it.” you offer a shy smile and he chuckles a little, the corners of his eyes crinkling. It was a rare but heart-warming view.

“Yeah, I know. I heard you talking with Wanda about how cremation is your last hope for a smokin’ body.” he laughs loudly, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. You feel the breath get knocked out of your lungs for a few seconds at the beautiful view. You don’t really notice that he’s stopped laughing and is now gazing at you with a small smile. Once you realize he’s probably caught you staring at him like an idiot, you can’t help bite your lip, averting your gaze from his. 

You can feel your cheeks heat up and rubbing your arm nervously, you let out a soft laugh. “Yeah...it’s true though.” you can feel his warm body beside you all of a sudden and you try not to shift closer to it, despite itching to touch him again.

He immediately stops laughing and you face him. “No. I p-personally think you’re really beautiful Y/n.” his voice is shaky, nervous. But his eyes...oh his eyes are so sincere. You immediately stiffen up at his words, your heart skipping a beat and your face heating up for what felt like the millionth time in the span of a few minutes.

You bite your cheek, suppressing a small smile. “Are you sure Banner checked all of you out? Maybe he missed your eyes?” you shrug his comment off smoothly.

He chuckles. “Nope. I have a twenty-twenty vision.” 

You shrug. “If you say so.”

You remain engulfed in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before he stands up, a small smile on his face. “I’ve gotta go catch up with the rest of the team, Y/n. Are you gonna be okay?” he sends you a small concerned frown. You purse your lips.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, thanks.” you bite your lip and he sucks in a small breath. “Okay then, see you ‘round I guess.” he nods at you and you immediately smile at the small promise. 

You respond with a small one of your own. “That I will, Bucky.” you send him a small wave and he smiles, slipping silently out of your room. 

Read Chapter Two Here!!

***

I’m serious. Let me know what you think and send in requests for the love of everything that’s good. I’m running out of ideas here lol. Anyways, here it is!

[marvel-lucy]

The Fall, chapter 9

You want more overwritten melodrama? No? Well sorry, here’s some anyway. Complete story Masterlist is here

Steve flung himself forward, in a horrible mirror of seventy years before, but he was too late. By the time he reached the edge of the fissure, there was nothing to see.  The grinding sound of the earth gradually settled down but still Steve didn’t move.  He lay on the shattered floor, not caring as broken concrete dug into his body and dust settled out of the air onto his tear-streaked face.  For years, he had suffered the same nightmares, watching Bucky fall and unable to reach him, and now it had happened again.

Finally, eventually, the chatter in his comm-link seeped through his desolation.

Cap, Barnes, come in? Anyone got eyes on Cap or Barnes? Where were they last seen? That explosion’s blown out too many sensors, we’re rebooting but we’re in the dark here. Cap? Cap?

I’m here. I… Bucky’s gone.

He pulled himself up slowly to a sitting position. His heart was pounding, and his hands were trembling.  He rested his head on his knees and wept.

Stark found him. Sensors finally re-aligned after being blown out by the explosion, he made his way through the broken base. The building was quiet, cold and dark, all power out.  Small fires gradually died out on the cold rock, their red glow making the dark even eerier.

Stark’s helmet opened.

‘Cap, what the hell happened?’

Steve lifted his head. His eyes were red, and there were blood streaks and bruises on his face.  He looked human and broken.

‘The door was rigged. It blew when Bucky opened it, set another one off.  He fell Tony… He fell, I lost him, I couldn’t…’ His voice thickened and cracked, and he broke off, swallowing hard.  

‘My suit’s at 5%, I can’t go down there right now.  We’ll look Steve, we’ll find him.  We’ll try…’

Steve’s head dropped to his knees again and he shut the world out as Tony took control.  More people arrived. He felt hands on his shoulders, offering comfort; heard conversations flying above his head.  None of it made sense to him.  Bucky had fallen, and he was gone, where Steve couldn’t follow.

He felt the heat from Stark’s repulsors as two of the suits took off and flew down into the chasm, saw with unseeing eyes the light bouncing off rocks in the dark.  He was chilled through from sitting on the floor, but he would stay there forever, better than leaving Bucky again

The suits flew back.  He heard talk, movement.  Something fell into the dark and the echo rang back loudly in the room. The suits flew down again, and he heard the whine and scrape as the armour dragged parts of the mountain around, deep inside.

‘Cap? Cap…’

The voice finally cut through his wretchedness.  He looked up. Romanoff was kneeling beside him. He focussed on her.  There was a dim glow from one of Stark’s suits, but the hole in the ground seemed to suck the light into its depths.  He tried to nod, to be strong, to show her he was there. She rested her hand on his shoulder.

‘Steve.  Did you hear? They found him. They’re bringing him up now.’

He stood, his body feeling its age for the first time.  He leant on the wall and watched his breath misting in the chill air.  He heard the suit fly up before he saw it, then the rocks glowed red with reflected light, then it appeared.  Bucky’s body was draped over the suit’s arms.  His right arm was flung over the suit’s shoulder, his left hung limp and unmoving, the metal crushed and scraped.  His trousers were torn and the red light made the blood glow too brightly.  There was bone visible.  Bucky’s face was turned away from Steve, and he was glad that he could hold off from seeing it for a moment longer.

The Legion suit landed heavily, and Steve waited for it to set the body down, knowing he would have to step forward, and that it would then become real. It didn’t stop though, walking forward, through the cleared route to the back of the room, and on through the base.  He couldn’t stop it.  He’d wanted to see, here, so then it would be over, and he could just sit there with Bucky until he died too, but to find the energy to follow him out of the base seemed impossible.

‘Hey, stop!’ he called, his voice filled with dust.

‘Steve, there’s no time, we’ve got to get him to the jet,’ Romanoff spoke gently, as if to a child who wouldn’t understand.  ‘It’s touch and go, he needs stabilising fast.’

He looked at her, uncomprehending for a moment.

‘He’s not dead? But the fall…’

‘He’s not dead Steve.  He’s not doing great, but he’s not dead.  You thought…?’ She rested her hand on his arm, her face full of sympathy.  ‘No, he’s not dead. I guess it’s always going to take more than a fall for that one.’

His face trembled as he began to laugh and cry, taking in a deep breath as the world lightened, then he made for the exit and the jet.

-

She had tried, on the fifth day, to contact him.  It had taken her all day to summon the courage to press send on the simple message:

Hope you’re OK

When he didn’t respond, she started drinking again, to wipe out the hope she had felt for a while.  The only care she took was of her plant, the one concrete symbol that there had been someone in her life, someone who even just for a moment, cared.  The plant flourished. She did not.

She had changed her shopping habits, so nobody could notice how often she was buying alcohol. A little variety to the day, breaking up the drinking and sleeping.  She wandered to a new shop, stood in the queue with a large bottle of vodka, and let her eye run over the newspaper headlines: ‘Explosion destroys Alaskan mountain.’ She didn’t care.

Then, two days later, the vodka gone, another shopping expedition, another store. She was waiting outside as soon as they opened in the morning.  Papers, newly delivered, were stacked by the stand. Another headline: ‘Is This the End of the Line for the Winter Soldier?’. Two pictures of his face, one from the 1940s, the other with longer hair, the smile replaced with hateful blankness.  Her breath caught in her chest and she grabbed at the paper, stood by the stand reading, trying to focus on the words.

Word from Avengers HQ is that the infamous Winter Soldier, also known as Captain America’s oldest and best friend, James Buchanan Barnes, is on the brink of death.  The mystery explosion which toppled an Alaskan mountain earlier this week has been revealed as a bomb planted by Hydra, the Nazi organisation Captain Rogers and his team are working to end.  Barnes was caught up in the explosion which ripped apart the mountain, his fall into a crevasse causing massive injuries.  The solder is now seen as a victim of torture and the world’s longest serving POW, and was being rehabilitated and living with Captain America in New York’s Avengers Tower. The Avengers have said, via a spokesperson, that Barnes’ injuries are severe and life-threatening, despite the serum which has given him his long life and youthful looks.  Our thought and prayers are with the Captain and his friend.  For more on Barnes’ life, see page 21.  For an alternate view on the world’s deadliest assassin, see…

She let the paper drop back to the stand and stood for a moment, finding it hard to breath.  Then she carefully placed her basket of shopping on the ground, and walked out of the store, overwhelmed.  Outside, the panic overcame over.  Her fists clenched and each breath came faster, whistling through her lungs. Her eyes filled with tears and she knew only that she had to move, to keep moving, that as long as she moved, he would be OK.  She started walking, towards the Avengers Tower she could see on the skyline and tried not to think.

It took her hours.  The sun was bright overhead by the time she reached the Tower.  There were press vans parked outside, the reporters waiting for any sign of movement like vultures.  There were tourists too, posing for pictures beside the giant ‘A’ symbol, and bunches of flowers tied to the railings.  Her heart lifted a little at that, that there were other people who could see the good in him and wished him well. She pushed her way through a crowd on a tour, heading for the large reception desk, out of breath and out of focus.  

‘Bucky, is he…? I’m a friend, can I see…’ Her words slowed.  She realised how she must look. Hair uncombed, clothes none-too-clean, the scent of alcohol on her breath. The guard was well-trained and polite, didn’t recoil or laugh, but she could only imagine how she must seem.

‘I’m sorry ma’am, all the team appreciate everyone’s good wishes but I’m afraid there are no visitors allowed.’

‘Of course, it was stupid… I shouldn’t have…’ she backed away as she spoke, her face flushing into sudden heat. Pushing through the doors again, she felt ashamed and humiliated, stood for a moment pretending not to cry, refusing to turn and see if the guard was watching her.

A cab, caught in traffic, caught her eye.  She held up a hand and moved forward, opening the door and curling into the far corner of the seat as she gave her address.  The cab moved off, slow in the lunchtime traffic in this busy area. She scrubbed her eyes with her hands and stared out of the window, barely seeing the city move by.

‘Hey, stop, can you pull over?’

The driver grunted with mild annoyance, signalled and swerved through the traffic to the blaring of horns. She pulled out some money and passed it over, barely checking the amount.  Her eyes were drawn to the sight in front of her.

Tucked under the railway tracks, behind a shaped metal fence, there was greenery spilling over into the city.  A train rumbled overhead, and the noise broke through her reverie, setting her moving forward into the site and the building beyond.  She pushed through the gate and found herself in an urban jungle. Water fountains trickled in one corner behind bamboo screens while terracotta pots stacked high matched the rusting paint on the rail tracks above.  This was the kind of place she would once have spent hours wandering through, letting her fingers trail through leaves, breathing in the wet scent of freshly watered earth and the heady scent of flowers.  Now she only wanted one thing, and had to shut her mind to the life growing prolifically around her.

Bypassing shelves stacked with seeds and pots, weaving her way through the store, she read the signs hanging from the ceiling until she found the row she wanted.  Glossy green leaves massed in front of her, plants competing for space and sunlight on the crowded shelves.  She walked slowly down the aisle, one hand running along the rough wooden edge, the scratching helping to anchor her and hold down the panic. Finding what she was looking for, she picked up and then rejected two pots before finding the best specimen, tall and healthy looking.  She wrapped her arms around the plastic pot, clutching it to herself as before she had clutched the child’s cup, and made her way back to the front of the store to pay.

Holding the plant carefully, she was about to leave the store when she noticed her reflection in the glass doors. She was wide-eyed with exhaustion and tangled with fear.  She turned back, found an assistant to speak to.

‘I’m sorry to bother you, is there a restroom here I can use?’

The woman turned to her with a friendly smile and took in her appearance and the plant clutched to her chest. She rested a hand on her arm gently as if she was a frightened animal.

‘Right this way through the coffee shop, I’ll walk you there.’ She kept up a quiet stream of chatter, not seeming to mind the lack of response as they walked through the store.  ‘Just through here.  Would you like me to hold your plant for you? Peace lily is it, lovely choice. I’ll be right here waiting.’

She went in, saw herself fully in the mirror now, no hiding.  Resting her hands on a basin she stared at herself, refusing to back down or look away. This was what she had become. Hands trembling, she turned on the tap, used paper towels to scrub her face, then dug into her bag for a comb.  Tidier, she just looked sad now.  Her face had gained new deep lines of sorrow since last she had really seen herself, and she was surprised at how much her loss showed.

Back out in the store, the woman was waiting for her. She thanked her, took the plant back, her shoulders perhaps a little straighter now, and left.  

The Tower was not too far away, she hadn’t come far in the taxi.  Before she reached it, she stopped, rummaged in her bag again for a pen. Folding back the paper bag to the height of the pot, she wrote a message on the bag. Inelegant, but she had to try.

At the Tower, the security guard had been replaced as the shifts changed.  She straightened her back, plastered on a smile, walked forward as if she had the right to be there.

‘Hello, I’m sorry to bother you, I have a delivery here for Sergeant Barnes, from a close friend.’ She held the plant out, leaving the guard little choice but to take it.  ‘Please see the plant gets to him quickly, and isn’t left sitting on a shelf. It’ll need watering, of course.’

She’d done all she could now.  She knew she wouldn’t get to see Bucky, and that was right.  She wasn’t anything to him, in reality they barely knew each other, and yet she felt broken that somewhere in this building, he was lying, injured, and not knowing she cared.  She looked up to the guard again, to say goodbye, needing to get out now, get back to the oblivion that alcohol could give her.  He wasn’t looking at her but was staring over her shoulder.  Frowning with confusion, she turned to look. Blue eyes rimmed with red, above dark circles showing the signs of exhaustion and fear she knew from her own face.

‘I’m sorry ma’am, I heard you mention plants. Was that… a peace lily?’

@melconnor2007 @emilyevanston @kittyslove @badassbaker @phoenix21love @lbouvet @bellenuit45 @prplprincez @gingerrootknits @pineapplebooboo @feelmyroarrrr @avengerofyourheart @eyeofdionysus @hellomissmabel @learisa @mitra-k-w @imhereforbvcky @shaddixlife @iwillbeinmynest @amrita31199 @whatsbetterthanfantasy @pixierox101 @edward-lover18 @madcheshire89 @heartfulloffandoms @chipilerendi @kenya-17 @mckorni32843

[thepaperpanda]

Little letters

WORD COUNT: 1680

SUMMARY: Some letters Tony and Steve exchanged between each other.

WARNINGS: none

AUTHOR: Killer raccoon

Capcicle:

This phone is embarrassing. I’m embarrassed to have it anywhere near my person. Pretty sure you must have recovered it from an archeological dig of a Neanderthal cave. Which would be fitting for you, them being your people and all. Still pissed by the way, haven’t reached that ‘understanding’ yet.

Unsincerely,

T.S.

 Dear Tony,

I know. Both about the phone and the understanding. I must admit that I did get slightly amused imagining your reaction to it. The phone that is, not the other thing. I think it portent that older phones don’t have tracking chips in them, and they aren’t being monitored by the NSA. Kind of thinking that says something about modern society and not really in a good way. Trading privacy for security. It’s devastating. As for the other thing… I know you're upset. You have reason to be. I get that, I do. I should have told you about your parents. I wish I could go back in time and do things different. But I can’t. So the only thing I can do is to repeat that I am sorry.

As for the ever so subtle dig, how did the party-line go? Fire bad, tree pretty? Or, you know, ooga-booga. Or whatever it is that Neanderthals like me say.

Yours most sincerely,

Steve

 Spangles,

I have been ‘tracking’ you since they found you on the ice. Trust me sweetums, the NSA is the least of your worries. Also, did you just crack a joke at me? And used pop culture at that? I am shocked. Shocked I tell you! Kindly cease destroying my world view, I’m too busy being livid at you to be amused (at how bad you are at it). Thank you.

Also, why? And don’t give me that ‘protecting me, protecting you’ bullshit. Details. All of it.

T.S.

P.S. Paper letters are so undignified.

Dear Tony,

Not sure how to react to the tracking thing or how to take it. In a weird way it’s good to know? I don’t know. When I first came off the ice I would have done anything to get back in it. The grief of losing Bucky was still fresh, and on top of that everyone I had ever known was either dead or only experienced occasional moments of lucidity, like Peggy. I didn’t recognize anyone, or anything and when I went down, I was a soldier. I slept on the ground, for the most part. The Commandos and I used to take shifts so no one would creep up on us in the middle of the night and capture or kill us. I still heard the ring of gunfire and bombs going off in my head. To go from that back to civilian life and not just civilian life but civilian life in a completely unrecognizable world… I wasn’t in a good place.

I sat outside your tower once, at a little cafe near the tower, hoping to get a glimpse of you. I don’t know what I would have said or done if that had happened. But SHIELD gave me a file on you and I knew that you were Iron Man, so I thought maybe if anyone would understand what it was like to wake-up in this strange world that sort of turned you into this impossible legend while you slept it would be you, being a legend yourself. There are days when I still wonder how the Captain America thing became so rampart. Trading cards?! But after we met I didn’t think you liked me much, so it’s strangely touching to hear that you tracked me, as messed up as that probably sounds. I mean, I know that our first meeting was under the worst possible conditions. We were stressed, I was so lost, and we had Loki’s scepter bringing out the absolute worst in both of us, but I always got the feeling that I annoyed you a bit.That my old fashioned ways, my ethics, my confusion... I just always felt that it kind of rubbed you the wrong way, even after we became friends and teammates.

At least I know why now. Howard. Would you believe me if I told that I was surprised to find out that Howard spoke so fondly of me to you? Don’t get me wrong, I admired Howard a lot. He was brilliant, he was funny and very charming. Not nearly as charming as you, of course, but he did have it. And I will always be forever grateful for what he did for me, flying me into enemy territory so that I could save the 107th. Without Howard there would be no Howling Commandos. But the truth of the matter is that while Howard was generous and brilliant, he sort of talked to me like I was a kid, you know? He didn’t act like he was all that impressed by me the entire time we knew each other.

I regret how he died. And your mother. I do grieve for them and for what happened. You want answers and I’ll try my best to give them to you but in all honesty I’m not sure I understand it entirely myself. First and foremost I feared for Bucky. You have to understand, Bucky and my Mom were all I had as a kid. I was sick, and weak, and picked on like you wouldn’t believe. Bucky always stood up for me, protected me. Without him my childhood would have been a completely different story and I probably wouldn’t have made it out of it. And when my mom died he was there for me again. I actually crashed on his couch for months afterwards. No one knew Bucky like I did, and no one left alive but me had seen him at his best, so full of life.

He is a good man, he didn’t deserve what happened to him. And it’s my fault - what happened to Bucky - it was all my fault. I recruited him into the Howling Commandos even though he could have left the army. He had been captured and tortured by Zola, the army was ready to release him. But he followed me back into war because I asked. He was so loyal. So honorable. Maybe too loyal and honorable. I was concerned that because there was no one but me left who had known Bucky pre-Hydra programming, that no one but me would believe him redeemable. And so I wanted to protect him and I thought that if I told you about your parents that you would be just one more person gunning for him. I mean, even Sam had his doubts that Bucky was still Bucky deep down and Sam is a former soldier, a VA counselor and a good friend. If Sam didn’t fully believe Bucky could be reached, what hope did I have that you would?

Still though, I realize that whether you would have reacted poorly or not, and whether you would have become just one more person I’d have to race to get to Bucky first, I shouldn’t have kept Hydra’s involvement in your parent's’ death from you. You had a right to know, a right that didn’t supercede my drive to save my best friend, and I was wrong to keep it from you.

This letter is long. Longer than I intended. But you asked for answers and I hope I gave them to you.

Sincerely,

Steve

 P.S. I don’t know, call me old-fashioned (you do anyway) but I like paper letters. They just seem more… personable. Besides not only are email accounts trackable, but they’re also annoying. No matter how many firewalls you put on my accounts, I’m still getting emails from some guy in Nigeria who is most eager to inform me that I’ve magically inherited millions of dollars.

 Stars and Stripes,

Of course I am more charming than my father.

Tony

 Dear Tony,

Not that I’m complaining here, it’s always great to hear from you and I know I have no right to ask... but is that really all you took from my last letter? It’s just you didn’t insult me, my parentage, or my honor at all in in your response, so I’m concerned.

Love,

Steve

 Cap,

I am processing. I need time. I’ll be in touch.

Tony

 Steve,

Okay, so I’ve processed. Sort of. It’s ongoing. James Buchanan Barnes has been cleared of the U.N. bombing in Vienna. Officially. As such you, Wilson  and the others have also been cleared of the aiding and abetting charge, and a financial donation from yours truly went a long way in clearing up the property damage charges. I know Barnes is in cryo in Wakanda, I may be able to help with the de-programming.

Meanwhile I need you to get your (admittedly fine) ass home. Bring your big boy pants, you and I are going to have a very long conversation. We’re going to put it all on the table.

Love,

Tony

 Dear Tony,

I’m on my way (and by the time you receive this I’ll probably already be there).

Love,

Steve

 Dearest Steven,

Well that conversation, after hours of deliberation, ended rather smashingly, I thought. And by smash I mean that I was quite impressed that you managed to break a solid oak, steel bar reinforced desk while I fucked you on it following said conversation. The Hulk himself couldn’t have done better. Good job. I told you we would put it all on the table. No worries, I’ll buy sturdier for next time.

Love Always,

Tony

 Dear Tony,

I’m looking forward to it. Now can you come to bed? I want to snuggle.

With love,

Steve

 P.S. In my day we built furniture that lasts (while we walked uphill to school both ways)… Couldn’t resist. Oh come on, it was right there!

 P.S.S. You’re sending texts in letter form now. Admit it, you liked the letters.

 Steve, dearest,

The sarcasm. I’m almost proud. Almost. And I admit nothing. Love, He who is heading to you right now...

[marvelous-imagining]

100

Summary: Bucky’s having a bad day on his birthday and his teammates keeping him from going back home isn’t helping at all. What he doesn’t know is that his teammates are planning a surprise for him.

A/N: Okay so in this imagine the team all lives in the Avengers Tower, just go with it, yeah? This is not a request but I wanted to do something special for Bucky’s 100th birthday. Originally this was supposed to be written without a reader but well, now there’s a reader. Hope you like this imagine! Also, FYI, I opened my ask box again but REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED. If you want to say/ask something anonymously, now you can, again.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Words: 3,827

Warning: just fluff, UNEDITED so there might be some mistakes

I decided to write this because I just can’t stand the thought of Bucky spending his 100th birthday in cryo (which is probably where he is right now *sob*). He deserves the world and he deserves to be loved and well, at least Steve loves him. Other people may need some time to warm up to him but let’s hope for the best. So, here’s a little fluffy imagine celebrating Bucky because he is an amazing person who has gone through torture who still takes the blame even though he shouldn’t. He’s a person who cares about other people, a person who does not wish to harm anyone, make anyone feel pain. He has a big heart. Here’s to the one and only James Buchanan Barnes.

Walking along the streets bright and early on a Friday morning, Bucky looked around, seeing people rushing to the bus stop, driving past with their cars just to get to work. Everyone looked quire stressed and in need of a break. They had only a day to muster some work before they could relax and ease into the upcoming weekend.

Bucky was walking slowly, watching people pass by him with grunts or sighs of frustration leaving their lips. He felt like he was in the way, felt like he was making everyone’s lives harder just by being there, walking among the hardworking people.

He adjusted his cap and shoved his glove covered hands in his pockets and continued his way to… Well he didn’t have any destination in mind. He just liked walking around, getting some fresh air. He would have done his walking earlier but he had been told to sleep in since it was his birthday. Not just any birthday, his 100th birthday.

One hundred years was a long time but it felt even longer for Bucky who had been under mind control most of that time. He had been trapped inside a body made into a weapon, a killer. So many years the James Buchanan Barnes from the forties had been trapped inside that mind, never let out.

Bucky had been so deep in thought that he had crashed into someone, earning a low growl and a look that could kill from a woman who had dark circles under her eyes. She brushed past him quickly, not letting him have the chance to apologize which he was about to do.

Bucky huffed and started walking again. He stepped into a coffee shop that he always passed by on his daily walk. He got in, seeing the long lines to the counter and stood there, waiting patiently. He took a look around the coffee shop, seeing only a few people sitting at the tables. Most of the people went straight out of the door after buying their coffees in the hopes of waking up a bit more before getting to work. Bucky on the other hand was just walking around, he had been told not to worry about anything and just relax, enjoy his birthday.

Bucky found it hard to enjoy the day, he hadn’t been awake for more than an hour and he was already feeling like the day wasn’t going to get better. He got in a bad mood just by being around all the strangers who were stressed and tired, frustrated from running late or having to go to work after a long week of working hard in whatever job they had.

After several minutes of waiting in line, Bucky got to the cashier who also had a sour look on her face. “Morning, what can I get you?” The cashier asked with a monotone voice.

Bucky looked at the menu, “Hmm, let me think.” He said, thinking about all the suggestions he had gotten from people.

He noticed the cashier tapping her manicured fingernails on the counter impatiently as she rolled her eyes. Bucky also heard the person behind him let out a small groan. He then sighed. “Just a black coffee, thanks.” He muttered, grabbing a five dollar bill from his pocket.

The cashier nodded and soon she was handing Bucky his coffee, saying the prize and grabbing the bill from Bucky, handing him back the change. “Have a nice day.” She said with the same bored tone she had while greeting him.

Bucky went over to a table in the corner of the coffee shop and sat down, looking out of the window as he sipped on his coffee, nose crunching up slightly at the strong taste.

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he took it out, checking to see who was trying to reach him. A small smile spread on his lips as he saw the familiar name on the screen.

Y/N

He unlocked his phone, checking the message you had sent him.

Hey, Buck! Hope you’re having a fun walk. Don’t be out too long, though. I have something for the birthday boy.

Bucky smiled as he looked at the message before typing a quick test back, telling you he’d be back soon. He finished his coffee before getting up and exiting the coffee shop.

Stepping out of the elevator, Bucky started making his way to his room only to walk past the kitchen, hearing your familiar humming coming from there. He peeked his head in, seeing you at the stove, swinging your hips to the song you were humming.

He cleared his throat, making you stop swaying and turn to look at the door. “Bucky!” You said excitedly. “How’s the birthday boy?”

Bucky shook his head and smiled, leaning on the wall. “Same as always.”

You smiled, turning back to the stove, flipping a couple pancakes on a plate, adding some maple syrup and a few strips of bacon to the side before turning around to face Bucky again. You held the plate in front of him. “I made these for you.”

Bucky looked down at the plate, brows furrowing in confusion. He took the plate from you and smiled although he still looked a bit confused.

“Happy birthday.” You said quietly. You bit your lip and took a small step forward, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Hope it tastes good.” You said before stepping out of the room.

Bucky was left flabbergasted by your sudden exit. He then shrugged and went over to the table, sitting down and eat his breakfast in peace.

He was just about to start eating when he heard someone come in the room. He looked to the door and saw Sam walking inside. “Hey, Sam.” Bucky said, earning a small nod from Sam who made his way to the cupboards. “You want some pancakes?”

Sam closed the cupboard slowly and looked at Bucky suspiciously. “What did you put in them?” He asked, raising a brow. “Poison? Some of that Asgardian liquor?”

“Nothing. Y/N made these and left some on the stove.”

Sam then shrugged and took some pancakes himself.  "So… You have any plans for today?“

Bucky shook his head. "Haven’t really celebrated a birthday in a couple decades, don’t really see the point.”

“Really?” Sam questioned. “You’re turning 100 and you have no plans? Not a bingo game or anything.”

Bucky sent a glare in Sam’s direction. “Yes, I’m technically 100 but biologically I’m 30 so no bingo for me, thanks.”

The two then continued to chat this and that as they continued eating their breakfast. They were just about to start bickering again as you peeked your head in the room. “Hey, Sam. Can I talk to you for a second?” You  asked, motioning for him follow you out of the kitchen.

“Can I eat first?”

“It’ll take just a second, I promise.”

Sam huffed, nodding and stood up from the chair, going out of the room. You thanked him silently and looked at Bucky, smiling. “Is it good?” You asked, referring to the food.

“It’s great, thank you.” Bucky said with a sincere smile.

Your smile grew and you looked down at the ground, pulling your head back behind the doorway to hide your face as you shook off the flustered feeling, thinking Bucky wouldn’t notice although he did. You then waved him goodbye and was gone in a second.

Bucky finished up his pancakes and went to put his plate in the dishwasher. Just as he was about to leave Sam rushed back in the room. “Hey, wanna go for a run?” He asked, making Bucky look up at him in surprise.

“We just ate.” Bucky stated. “And you have some food left.”

Sam was quick to grab the left of the pancake in his hand and began eating it while pushing Bucky out of the door. “Come on! Let’s go.”

“Why are you in such a rush?” Bucky asked, getting a bit irritated by the sudden change of mood.

“Just getting pumped up, don’t worry.” Sam said and finished up with the pancake and started jogging towards the elevator, Bucky following behind.

Bucky let out a groan as he watched Sam crawl over to the nearest tree and he sat down on the ground, resting his back against the trunk. He was breathing heavily and holding his sides while Bucky was standing next to the tree without any sign of exhaustion. He placed his hands on his hips and looked down at the breathless man in annoyance.

“Sam, let’s just go back.” He said, seeing Sam shake his head. “Look at you, you’re about to pass out!” He exclaimed.

“No,” Sam said with a hoarse voice. “No, I can still run.” He said and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the tree. “Just give me a second.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Let me go get you some water.” He muttered out and went over to a store nearby, buying two bottles of water before going back to Sam who was still sitting on the ground but he had his phone on his ear.

Bucky narrowed his eyes as he walked up to him from behind the tree, out of Sam’s view. He listened closely at the conversation. He thought he had the right to eavesdrop since Sam had been acting weirdly all day. He was growing more and more suspicious.

“I can’t run anymore!” Same yelled out to the phone. “I’m going to die if I run another lap with him. He doesn’t get tired at all. Goddamn super soldiers.” He muttered through gritted teeth. “When can we come back?”

Bucky cleared his throat and tossed Sam a bottle of water. He looked down at Sam who said quick goodbyes to the person on the other side of the line and put his phone away, taking a big gulp of water.

Bucky held his hand in front of Sam who grabbed it. Bucky pulled Sam off the ground and patted his back in a sign of comfort. “Okay, time to go back.”

Sam shook his head. “No, let’s go for another—”

“Sam, what’s going on?” Bucky asked with a demanding tone as he crossed his arms. “Why can’t we go back?”

Sam just shrugged and turned around, sprinting only to stop after a few steps. He held onto his knees, feeling lightheaded from all the running. He let out a long sigh after catching his breath and turned around, admitting defeat. “Okay, let’s go.” He mumbled as he headed back.

Bucky noticed Sam texting on his phone, tilting his screen away from Bucky just so he couldn’t see. The metal-armed man was starting to get annoyed again just like earlier in the morning while he was just walking around. When he had gotten back from the walk, his mood had immediately been lifted when you had given him breakfast and wished him happy birthday. Just small things like that really could make his day, especially when you did them since he had a bit of a soft spot for you.

But all that was thrown out of the window when he realized Sam was definitely hiding something from him and keeping him from going back home and just relax as he had been told to do.

Bucky kept quiet the whole walk back, noticing Sam glancing at his phone every few seconds, probably checking for new text messages. Bucky didn’t want to pry so he kept his mouth shut and just walked silently next to Sam.

They got back in no time and entered the building only to have Steve rush out of the building. “Hey, Bucky. Wanna grab a cup of coffee?” The blonde asked while making his way to Bucky who had a confused look on his face.

“I had coffee a few hours ago.”

“A run?”

“Where do you think I’m coming from?” Bucky asked in annoyance, gesturing to his athletic wear.

“Bowling?” Steve asked hopefully.

“Steve, I just want to go in—” He stopped, thinking about Steve’s offer. “You know what, bowling sounds kinda fun.” He shrugged.

“How come we haven’t gone bowling before?” Bucky asked as him and Steve exited the bowling house.

“I don’t know.” Steve shrugged. “Next time we should all go bowling.”

“Yeah, that would be fun.” Bucky nodded. “Hey, I have a question.”

Steve nodded, “What is it?”

Bucky turned to look at Steve and sighed. “Why do you keep me from going back home?”

Steve gulped but kept his gaze in the road ahead of him. “We’re going home right now.”

“Well, yeah but earlier when I wanted to go back you didn’t let me.” Bucky pointed out. “Sam almost passed out trying to keep me from going back!” He exclaimed.

Steve sighed and turned to look at Bucky. “You’ll understand when we get back.”

Bucky frowned but decided not to ask any further questions. He still glanced at Steve suspiciously every once in a while. He swore he could have seen a drop of sweat falling falling down the side of Steve’s face. He was nervous for some reason and Bucky had no idea what was going on.

The two got to the tower in no time and went into the elevator, going up to the floor both of their bedrooms were on. Steve was the first one to rush out of the elevator, bumping his shoulder with Bucky’s on accident. Bucky soon followed suit and exited the elevator only to be met with a chorus of “Happy birthday!”

Bucky was stunned, taken aback by the exclaims of his teammates. He took a second to look around, seeing many different colored balloons around along with a happy birthday sign hung on a wall behind his teammates who had big smiles on their faces.

“Wh-what is this?” Bucky asked, looking each teammate in the eye. “Is this why you kept me out all day?”

“Yeah, we needed time to set all this up.”  You shrugged and sent him a sheepish smile.

Bucky couldn’t help but smile. “You really did all this for me?” He asked, seeing some people nod. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank us. Y/N here,” Natasha started and placed her hands on your shoulders from behind, “planned all this and made sure everyone was perfect before you came back.”

You felt your cheeks heat up as you blushed and turned to look at the ground in front of you to hide your face from him. Bucky did see the look on your face, though and his smile widened. “Really?”

You nodded, “Just thought you should have something special for your 100th birthday.” You said with a shrug and lifted your gaze up to his. “I mean you’re hitting triple digits! That’s a big deal. Not many people live to be this old.” You teased, chuckling.

“So you kicked me out on my birthday?” Bucky teased back.

You rolled tour eyes and took a step forward. “Oh, shut up, I did a nice thing for you!” You laughed and walked over to him, opening your arms, inviting him in for a hug.

Bucky gladly accepted the hug and wrapped his arms around you as he felt your arms around him and hugged you tightly. “Thank you so much.” He whispered in your ear.

“Don’t thank me yet.” You whispered back and pulled away from him, moving to stand next to him. “We got a cake.”

Bucky turned his attention back to the others and saw a cake with about one hundred candles on it. He shook his head, sighing before letting out a chuckle which made you laugh. “I made sure there was exactly one hundred candles on it.”

“Yes, I know how it’s important to you to keep reminding me how old I am.”

You nudged his shoulder with yours and sent him a playful glare before pushing him towards the cake.

He looked down at the cake that was covered with lit candles, the cake underneath it was barely visible at all when looking from above it. He was just about to blow out the candles but Thor stopped him.

“Wait,” his loud voice boomed. “Don’t you mortals have a song you sing when wishing someone a happy birthday?” He asked.

“You mean… The Happy Birthday song?” Clint asked.

Thor nodded. “Shall we sing?”

Bucky shook his head and as he was about to protest, he heard his teammates singing to him. He rolled his eyes, listening to the song patiently, smiling sheepishly as he waited for it to end. When it did, he went on to blow out all the candles at once.

“100 candles in one blow?” You asked, raising a brow. “That’s impressive.”

Bucky then cut out a piece of cake while everyone else did too. You all sat down in the lounge and just spent some time with each other, chatted this and that, asked Bucky what his favorite memories from 100 years were. Somehow the fact that he was 100 just kept coming up in conversation.

As Bucky watched his teammates talking, telling jokes and laughing with one another, he couldn’t help but smile. All those thoughts he had in the morning just suddenly vanished. He didn’t feel like he was causing trouble to his friends, he didn’t feel alone like he did in the streets, he felt… loved.

He realized the people who he was surrounded by actually cared about him enough to throw a surprise for him, even though it was just a small one. That’s how Bucky preferred it to be. He didn’t want fancy parties with hundreds of people. All he needed was his close friends and a relaxing get-together with them.

He looked to his side, seeing you right next to him, laughing at something that Sam had told you with your mouth still full of cake. You covered your mouth and pursed your lips, afraid of spitting food all over yourself. You calmed yourself down before looking at Bucky, feeling his eyes on you. “What?” Your smile turned into a confused look.

Bucky shook his head, nudging your shoulder with his own. “Thank you. For all this.” He said as he looked around the room, making your gaze follow his. “I really needed it.” He admitted with a shy smile.

You sighed, shaking your head. “It really wasn’t all my doing.” You said, taking another spoonful on cake. “I mean it was my idea and… Well, I did a lot.” You said with a chuckle.

Bucky nodded, “And I’m very thankful for that.” He said.

You smiled and continued your conversation with Sam. Bucky decided to join in too.

Being around his teammates, Bucky realized he didn’t feel like the Winter Soldier who was feared by many. He felt like Bucky again. Maybe not the Bucky Barnes back from the forties since he had in fact changed. There was still a part of the Winter Soldier in him and he couldn’t get rid of it no matter how hard he tried but he felt like a person again. Not a weapon nor mind controlled killing machine but a person.

“You deserve it, you know?”

“Sorry, what?” Bucky asked, your voice interrupting his thoughts.

“All this.” You said, gesturing to your surroundings. “You deserve it.”

“You think so?”

“Of course I do!”

Bucky smiled again, looking down at you. He nodded, finally realizing that he did indeed deserve all the good things that he had in his life.

He thought his day would end in a bad note but instead, it became the best birthday he had ever had.

Happy 100th birthday Bucky Barnes!

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