#top reason why i get annoyed w ppl who say 'oh you have a natural talent for learning languages' or whatever

[zvaigzdelasas]

Step 1 to learning anything at all is being willing & capable of messing up without that preventing you from trying again (& potentially messing up again!). You can't get good at anything without starting out bad at it

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 1 // vol. 2

( ft. the first meeting & the first family game night )

okay, rundown of his first meeting w the vixens!

the vixens don't really like the foxes. they cheer at their games and all, but outside of that, they mostly stick with the football players

bcs, well, the foxes are,, intimidating and most of the vixens don't get how or why katelyn started dating one

especially one half of the terrifying duo that is the twinyards. like these tiny blonde angst goblins have absolutely zero chill, and this is the backliner one, the one that shattered the nose of a dude basically twice his size

they may be short as fuck but they're scary, and the vixens are worried that he might break katelyn's heart

but katelyn's sure about aaron minyard, and when cleo softly asks, "is he worth it?" she knows her answer is a yes

savannah and the rest of the girls aren't convinced tho, so she asks aaron if he'll meet them for one of the afterparties they have after games

he agrees after seeing the hopeful look on her face

and surprise, surprise, it isn't a complete disaster!!

see, aaron has a habit of mirroring the nature of the person he's with. in the book, we mostly see him as an asshole bcs it's from neil's pov, and neil, as much as i adore him, is an asshole

i think that when he's with nicky ( someone he loves and trusts ), he's like, nicer. it's not in his nature to be cheery or anything but he's less,, hostile? and way more relaxed

and katelyn's been nothing but sweet and polite to him, bcs katelyn's sweet and polite till you give her a reason not to be

so he's sweet and polite back, or at least, sweet and polite as aaron minyard can get.

yeah, he's definitely interesting enough, clever and quick-witted enough, respectful and loyal and insanely talented enough, that katelyn decides he's worth it. doubts he'll ever get boring

and yes, she knows this is a big risk, bcs she knows the foxes' rep, knows how fucked up he must to secure a place on the psu foxes, notices how aaron flinches when she makes any sudden movement

but you know what? fuck it

so when aaron tells her his strange, twisted little deal with his brother, katelyn's willing to fight for him

and after nearly 2 months of this, she drags him to the vixens with their fingers interlocked and a hope in her heart that they'd play nice like she's asked ( practically begged ) them to

aaron's buzzing a bit with nervous energy. it's very endearing, how his eyes had lit up at the sight of her, then how she felt her anxiety about the night melt away into excitement

sav tries, bless her, tries to engage aaron in half-hearted conversation about exy ( which she hates ) and aaron tries back, but that fizzles out bcs for someone on a full-ride exy scholarship, aaron doesn't like exy at all

thank god that marissa, who's been trying to be less of a bitch all night, bless her too, lets it slip that sav detests exy

"okay, i can't anymore. minyard, savannah actually hates exy and she hates the foxes too, but we're hoping that you're an exception."

aaron, holding back a laugh: honestly? same.

sav: oh thank fucking GOD we have something to talk about then

"yeah, the entire sport sucks, doesn't it? i literally play it at college level and i still have barely figured out the goddamn rules."

"exactly! and my entire family's fucking obsessed for some reason, it's so annoying! ugh and the foxes suck even more, they're all so goddamn rude for no reason. except maybe the cute goalie."

". . ."

"eww not your brother, i meant renee walker,, and maybe you're not too bad either, minyard."

"you flatter me."

katelyn watches their exchange with more than a little amusement. aaron's not smiling, but his features have softened and he's flushed from the alcohol he'd had and she can't rly believe that this is the boy who they all thought would break her heart

bcs later when aaron comes up to her with a cookie dough cupcake ( her favourite ) she didn't even know was served at the party, leans into her so his face is buried in her neck, whispers "thanks for taking me", when she takes in all her friends laughing and chatting and waving at her, when sav gives her a thumbs-up and nods to aaron, she's never felt more whole

like she was part of something bigger than herself

then aaron starts hanging around them more! yeah he saw the look on katelyn's face and he was going to TRY for her or so help him- usually just with katelyn, sav, and cleo

she invites him to the "family game night" sav is making them have, and he's like "sure why not."

he knocks on the door of sav and cleo's dorm and sav lets him in

"yo, minyard! glad you make it, katelyn's out on a donut run but she'll be back soon."

okay,, okay. so he'll,,, what? interact w people?? hell fucking no

then he realises that it's only cleo in the dorm, plugged into her headphones, playing mario kart, and thanks katelyn for ensuring there would only be ppl that like, he didn't mind

the other vixens were okay, but way too LOUD, and aaron wasn't rly up for spending a whole night w them

cleo hands him a controller, an invitation to play, and he takes it gratefully. he and cleo hadn't talked that much at the party, but she was perfectly tolerable so far, which was a good sign

and mario kart was a part of his childhood, one of the only few that nicky's parents had owned, so he and his cousin had spent hours curled up in front of tv trying to beat each other

even tho he beats nicky most of the time, cleo absolutely destroys him. he mentally tries to brush it off as him being rusty ( which he definitely is ) but damn, cleo's good. still, she brushes off the compliment when aaron blurts it out

okay so then katelyn comes back with like way too many donuts and they start playing monopoly gathered around the coffee table

sav insists on putting on some music. wannabe starts playing. she winks at aaron and aaron winks back, still not smiling. cleo snorts and katelyn kisses his cheek

listen, cleo is a monopoly master. soon, she owns over half the board and it's pretty clear she's gonna win, someone ( savannah riley jameson, everyone ) flips the board

"jameson, what the actual fuck."

"shut the hell up, minyard."

"come on, sav, i was winning!"

katelyn's trying to pick up all the pieces and aaron bends down to help her, shaking his head at sav, who pouts and joins them while cleo grins, headphones slung around her shoulders while she perches herself onto the arm of the settee and hums to wake me up before you go-go

next, sav begs them to play twister. cleo's great at most games, but she has a particular dislike for twister, so she's out quick

katelyn is super bendy, bcs she took gymnastics for years, and aaron holds his own surprisingly well, considering the fact that he's short as fuck

sav: katie, right hand red

katelyn, ending up right on top of a blushing aaron: okay, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

sav: i stopped spinning like 15 turns ago, i'm surprised you didn't notice sooner

eventually aaron collapses and katelyn is hailed as the queen of twister and they spend the next 10 minutes just calling out random spots for katelyn to try

she gets all of them, and aaron is actually smiling now and it doesn't matter that it's only a tiny quirk of his lips, it's something and katelyn cherishes it

they play some sort of surgeon simulator thingy next, and aaron "gonna be a future neurosurgeon" minyard is awesome at it, bcs duh

katelyn's not very good at this. her hands get SHAKY okay

cleo also sucks at this, bcs she keeps getting nervous and having muscle spasms. sav's just doing the dumbest shit bcs it's bringing aaron closer to the edge of cardiac arrest

aaron: jameson holy shit what are you DOING

sav, slicing open the spinal cord: okay so what if i take out the lungs through the back haha

and now sav is sulking over the fact that she hadn't absolutely murdered the others at a game

so she brings out the ultimate game. the game of bastards, one that tears families apart, sets friendships on fire, starts wars too gruesome to be started by anything other than this wretched, cursed artefact. . .

s c r a b b l e

aaron's already having war flashbacks. katelyn groans and goes to make popcorn, bcs this shit's gonna take FOREVER and she knows it. cleo, an english major, is preparing herself for battle with the force of nature that is savannah

"the fuck do you MEAN fergalicious isn't a word???"

"savannah, please."

"no, here, listen to this."

"sav, we were listening to that!" katelyn complains. sav sighs and switches the song back to her "90's bops" playlist, then changes it to "hell yeah feminism" which instantly starts playing run the world ( girls )

katelyn happily starts singing and aaron's not even reluctant to hum along

sav and cleo are still arguing. this has been going on for so long. sav looks ready to flip over the board again, so cleo does it first

katelyn: cleo what the heck

cleo, the tired mom friend: don't fucking curse

aaron is also tired, but in a good way, in kind of that soft lazy droopy way

he falls asleep leaning against the sofa and katelyn's shoulder, with god is a woman playing in the background while sav and cleo continue arguing. cleo is standing on the coffee table. it's true anarchy

he wakes up on the sofa with a blanket thrown over him and sunlight streaming in through the lacy curtains and katelyn making a complete mess of the kitchen in a futile attempt to make breakfast. sav and cleo are draped across each other on the floor

katelyn, struggling to pick up burning toast: morning babe, how did you sleep?

aaron, calmly using a pair of tongs: pretty well. who wants pancakes?

sav, instantly shooting up: DID YOU SAY PANCAKES

so he makes pancakes! nicky taught him as soon as he'd gained custody of the twins, so he's pretty much an expert. he tries to teach katelyn, but then just gives up bcs she's clearly not listening in favour of staring at him

and they all gather around the coffee table and cleo's humming along to the song on her headphones and wow these pancakes are rly good omg

while aaron is chatting to cleo about what video games they should play next, sav whispers, "kate finley, if you don't marry this boy just for his god-tier pancakes, i will."

"sav, you're a lesbian."

"not anymore, i've decided that i am pancake-sexual."

aaron hears all of this btw, bcs cleo stops when she hears them talking. he blushes, and smiles, just a little bit

( if anyone actually cares about this, tell me! shoot me an ask if there's any particular ask you want to see with these characters, or just the foxes! )

[chelsanitys]

I don't think Scott cares either, but I do think there's a deeper, more thoughtful conversation to be had here about the commercialization of their personal relationship and how much actual performance goes into the branding of this pairing. And that's a discussion I think shippers don't want to have (or don't have the capacity to have) because they're too busy squeeing over every morsel Tessa occasionally sends them.

it’s something shippers resolutely refuse to think about tbh - the performativeness of vm’s relationship, the power of that performance, and the perlocutionary force of that performance on an audience. they want to believe that vm’s skating comes from a genuine, authentic place of love and appreciation for each other - that they’re not acting for the cameras and faking a love they’re going to discard as soon as their four minutes on the ice are up. which, depending on what mood i’m in, is a perspective i find alternately sweet, naive, and ANNOYING AS FUCK

tessa and scott absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, play up their relationship for the media. why do you think they do their hug in full view of dozens of cameras instead of doing it backstage? why does scott keep feeling her up in the middle of practice where anyone and everyone (including the judges who attend every practice session) can see? why do they sit so close and gaze at each other like two lovelorn does in a field of fuckin daisies? why does tessa keep posting instagram shots of them lookin straight up like they’re in a softcore porn? because they’re actually in love? maybe. because they’re trying to sell a narrative? definitely. meryl and charlie talked about this after they won gold in sochi - he hid his high-profile, longtime girlfriend from the media because the judges needed to see davis and white as a TEAM, and they couldn’t effectively sell that story if ppl were constantly being reminded of charlie’s girlfriend behind the scenes. all the way up to the sochi olympics, meryl and charlie hemmed and hawed about whether they were a real life couple - watch some interviews back, it is straight up the same ‘what a compliment!’ spiel we’ve been getting from vm. at the time, charlie had been dating tanith for four years, and meryl had been dating fedor for two - they are now married (or about to be) to those same people. which is all to say that in 2014 d/w were stringing everyone along for a ride. skaters are constantly performing, all the time, on social media, in interviews, in fluff pieces. they are trying to SELL you something - a story, an emotion, a feeling. charlie hid tanith from his social media, talked about how thrilling it was discovering his ‘new chemistry’ with meryl and sat on top of meryl looking lovingly at her in every interview. the act of performing in ice dance is not constrained to the ice rink. for all the top teams, it extends off the ice as well - the narrative doesn’t stop when your music stops. 

it goes without saying that vm were better at selling this story than dw. because they have chemistry, because they’re actually in love, because they’re more talented - pick whatever reason you want. as soon as they won their gold medal, the hemming and hawing from dw about whether or not they were dating stopped. meryl and charlie had nothing left to sell, so charlie paraded his girlfriend around and sold exclusive photos of him and tanith to magazines. they were retired so he was done selling this fake romance with meryl. so why aren’t vm done? because they are so much BETTER at this than davis/white were. no one really believed the romance angle even when dw were so desperately trying to play it up - as soon as was humanly possibly, the audience writ large decided to ship meryl with someone else. there was no breathless media coverage about dw’s relationship status, no legions of dw shippers, no hundreds of thinkpieces about whether or not dw were dating. vm sold their romance so well at the pyeongchang olympics that i think they themselves were taken aback by the media coverage around it. every time a journalist geared up to ask the dating question, you could see the pained smile and the exhaustion and the ‘oh god not this again’ starting to dawn in their eyes. they wanted people to talk about their skating, not their relationship status. or so they said.

a month ago, scott was complaining that the media was ‘cheapening’ their relationship and tessa was telling reporters that she’s so ‘protective’ of their relationship because it’s so important to her. cut to mid-april and tessa is using their relationship, and more importantly the implication of a romantic relationship, to pimp her personal sponsor and sell lotion. which is fuckin rich? all we heard for weeks was how sick of the dating question they were, and how much they wished people would talk about their skating. she is now exploiting something they pointedly said they did not want to exploit a month and a half ago. 

so what’s my hot take? it’s that tessa has realized that the two of them are nothing without each other. dw were a team, but they are not a brand like vm are a brand. vm and whatever they want to do in the future are now inexorably linked to each other - they sold their fake romance TOO well at the olympics and now no one cares about one without the other (unless one is getting drunk off his ass at a hockey game and yelling obscenities at the ref). the nivea thing is…..whatever. i don’t really care about that. its icky to me as a law student that she’s profiting off his image and likeness but i guess i’m just litigious by nature lmao - i accept that not everyone else feels the same way. i don’t think she was malicious about it…….but she was calculated. and it’s bizarre to me that shippers are trying to claim otherwise. the pair of them have spent the better part of the last month and a half simultaneously playing coy about their relationship status and then acted like it’s everyone else’s fault for talking about their relationship. they have played into every part of the intrigue that comes with the dating question, and then acted annoyed people were talking about whether they’re dating or not. they are constantly trying to have their cake and eat it too. unlike dw, they can’t just stop selling their story at the olympics - their lives and their relationship with each other have become the story, and they’re going to have to keep it up now that there are things to sell other than a figure skating program to the judges. 

do i think it’s all fake? no. i think they genuinely love and respect each other in ways that can’t be quantified by dollars. do i think it’s all real? no. they have spent their whole lives trying to sell a story to the judges…and have gotten so good at it, they are now selling it to the public where they (or she) can reap rewards far more valuable than a hunk of fake gold. 

but i dont expect people who are wilfully blind to the part performance plays in their relationship on the ice to be sharp enough to recognize the role it plays in their relationship off the ice…….so whatever lol

[jooheonies]

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE 5 - “YOUR SPONSOR JUST RUINED YOUR CHANCES” - JASON

[9:58:57 PM] Seamus: If u wanna donate ur money to help Jordan I'd very much appreciate it 

[10:09:40 PM] Seamus: Or like exactly 1 haha 

literally WHO the fuck is this and why is he asking for my money like A MINUTE after i lose my last tribute? where's the compassion?? the empathy??? anyways sorry @jordan (who?) and @jaiden (who??) but ur sponsor just ruined your chances of me supporting you bc i'm that petty (selfie) #lianawasrobbed #nicolewaspushed

Liana and RJ hatched a cute little plan to throw immunity and send me out of this game.

Yet, it was Liana that got the boot. It was her plan, it worked, and I'm still standing on top.

How poetic.

Okay so the last thing I heard before the vote was Jaiden... Then Liana gets voted out... Okay sure that makes sense glad someone told me! Liana didn't talk to me at all when I tried to warn her so I went to JC and was like nevermind I don't care I'll vote out Liana because she's not answering me so I'm down for whatever and they said it was still Jaiden. I mean right before the vote they did message me and say SOS but my drunk ass wasn't looking at my phone or paying attention to the time so like maybe they did try to tell me but I don't know either way now that I'm sober I'm realizing I was left out of the vote and I'm over that happening to me honestly like you lie to me and leave me out it just makes me angry and makes me ready to slit some throats. Right now I'm a snake in the grass, not really noticeable I'm just there laying low but damn I'm getting ready to bite some ankles and take people down

The one person I was closest to in the game, Liana, was voted out last night. I was not too happy about this, especially considering the fact that Jaiden is probably the most disliked person on this cast. I am not sure what happened to cause her to be voted out but I am hoping that we continue to win these challenges, otherwise I fear I may be in a position that could cost me the game. Naturally though, the people in this game have rarely any conversation with me at all to begin with and being the lone representative of a season kind of gives me a lot of pressure! I say that a lot because it is true, not for bragging rights.

Panema isn't spelled the way it looks

Jaiden I drafted u and ur starting to annoy me but as long as u keep getting me points that I can use to help Jordan then I don't care.

Okay o m g my tribe actually really pulled through in that immunity like girl!! And omfg I can't believe I successfully blindsided Liana, she reeeeally had to go she was way too powerful. And now someone from arma can be going home BLESS!! But there's one downside, like the only two people I don't want to see go on arma are Jakey and Isaac, especially jakey because I trust him, and then Isaac because he's my contract and like we have rocky(?) trust idk. But apparently jakeys name was tossed around so I hope he manages to survive somehow because apparently they were saying Constance too which would be a BLESSING because Constance never speaks to me and rubs me the wrong way like I feel like they attempt to be shady and funny but it really just falls flat and it's kind of odd. And like how are we at f13 and we still have like nothing of a connection, I've even been speaking to Jordan! And I actually like them a decent bit.

And omg I got so much tea from Samantha, apparently Allison wanted her to come to arma to be an easy vote which Liana warned her about ajshzhsbs (sorry Liana hehe) and there's an alliance of Isaac, Allison, Andrew and Jordan which doesn't surprise me, though I thought Constance would be included in that alliance...ugh that means those four probably control the vote and Jakey will probably be going. I DONT WANT HIM TO GO PLEASTHE.

Well Liana is gone and I'm super sad because I did trust her. On the other hand I heard she was trying to throw me isaac allison and andrew under the bus and yikes. Constance sat out of immunity which i dont get because she was on all day but w/e. I want to try and save her but pretty much everyone on the tribe wants her gone so I really can't do much about it...

hieeeee. so yay my tribe won immunity! it feels good not having to stress about voting someone out again because last week me jc and samantha literally submitted our votes when there was like 1 minute left because we didn't know what to do. i like how i made jc stress out thinking liana had the idol and was gonna use it on her and get him out when i actually have the idol. hehe. i'm such a good ally, right? LISTEN i needed some entertainment and that was very entertaining! so i been thinking.. yes i miss liana but losing her wasn't the worse thing possible. merge is probably coming up soon and i know she would have been untouchable due to her big ass alliance. rj hasn't messaged me since i kinda blindsided him and voted liana out over jaiden.. oops? rj basically has no choice but to trust me at this point though because he literally doesn't talk to anyone or do anything. right now my trust goes.. jc = samantha > rj > jaiden. i NEVER thought i would be working with jaiden.. okay i wouldn't really say trust though because i know how much of a lose canon he is and i know he literally exposes things when he know's he's leaving so i just need to keep all information away from him. IN OTHER NEWS. king kevin sponsored me :) his message was literally so nice and i know i may sound like a FREAK but i loved his little message and it made me smile. it's good to know i have at least one supporter out there ;') kevin gave me a "rabbit trap" which means i can expose someone's vote at tribal council. hehe. i'm gonna hold onto this for the future and hopefully i can expose some little rats :)) THANKS KEVIN I APPRECIATE YOU!

Ok so this tribe has been pretty cool. I feel like I am in a good place with everyone on this tribe except for Constance. Gotta admit though...its literally depressing how inactive my tribe is though. Literally no one but Jordan (and jake like a day late) responded about a video. In any other season the video I made would have lost in a landslide. Oh well, Liana left and I am not upset about it. After our incident during the Dylan tribal I am glad to have one less person with a reason to vote for me.

So then this new challenge came out and a couple ppl asked to sit out which was fine cause it was an endurance comp. But Constance made this huge stink about sitting out...and then sat on call with us while we did the challenge. Gurl. Allison doesnt have power but you needed to sit out so you could be around for the entire challenge and just not do it? Wtf! I hate these humans. Whatever we lost. Hopefully it will be unanimous for Constance. I never trust that what I think will happen will actually happen...so I feel like I might get voted out tonight...who knows? I certainly don't. Maybe it's just paranoia.

So Liana went last round which is pretty good for me considering she was targeting me, Allison, Andrew, and Jordan but I really do enjoy Liana as a person but whew but on the negative side, Jaiden is still here. I really really don't like Jaiden and the way he plays. But we lost the challenge because we forgot Allison didn't have power and Constance sat out even though she was here? So originally we were going to vote out Jakey but then the argument was presented why should we get rid of someone who actually tries just because Constance is a number when we could probably get the person who tries and his ally as numbers as well? So yeah it seems like the vote has flipped to Constance. Plus Constance was always closer to Liana. Sorry Constance I love you to death but you should've been a little more helpful and a little more trustworthy.