#top preschool in domlur

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top International School in Domlur Bangalore

Nalapad academy is one of the Top best International schools in Domlur Bangalore, which offers an outstanding educational experience and international standards from Preschool and IGCSE. 

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5 Things We know for sure about Raising Great kids

All of us want to raise children who become self-disciplined — and happy adults. The only question is how best to do that.

1. Children learn to love from a secure attachment with at least one loving adult.

Parents encourage this safe attachment in the first year by listening to their unique baby and responding to her needs. They continue to support secure attachment by accepting the full range of who their child is — including all that messy neediness and anger — into the toddler years and throughout childhood and the teen years. Parents who are unable to tolerate their child’s neediness, or who control (rather than accepting the child as he is), are intrusive (rather than taking the child’s cues), or otherwise react out of their own needs rather than responding to their child’s needs are less likely to raise a securely attached child.

2 Children learn self-discipline from limits with empathy.

Kids who are raised without limits don’t get many opportunities to practice self-discipline, so they don’t necessarily learn to be considerate of others or to manage themselves a kids.

BUT — and this is a big BUT — if the limits are imposed in a way that provokes resistance ,the child still doesn’t learn self discipline, because she doesn’t internally accept the limit. So when a limit is seen as harsh or unfair, kids don’t actually learn self-discipline, which is why authoritarian parenting brings up kids who ultimately can’t manage themselves without outside discipline (and are more susceptible to peer pressure). All punishment undermines self-discipline. (Did you really think he was sitting on the naughty step taking responsibility and considering how to be a better kid? He was reviewing why he was justified in his behavior and plotting revenge, like any normal human!)

When limits are imposed with empathy

kids may not like the limit, but they don’t get stuck in resistance. They feel understood, supported, connected. That connection makes them willing to live with the limit, especially if parents also accept their upset about the limit. She builds more self-discipline every time she stops herself from going after what she wants because there’s something she wants even more — a good relationship with you.

What’s more, she learns that she can’t always get her way, but she gets something better: someone who loves her exactly as she is. This unconditional positive regard becomes the core of unshakable positive self esteem and stable internal happiness.

3. Children learn to self-soothe by being soothed by parents.

That’s on the grounds that the neural pathways that discharge soothing biochemicals are formed when the baby is soothed by the parent. Disregarding little ones alone with their huge emotions does NOT teach them to self-soothe; it makes it harder for them to quit themselves throughout their lives. Children who are restless, anxious, or “dramatic” need extra support in the form of parental calming . The skill of self-soothing is basic for children to learn to manage their anxiety, emotions and behavior.

4 Children learn to manage their emotions — and thus their behavior — when parents emotion-coach.

Many years research show plainly that when parents emotion-coach (instead of shutting down emotions), kids are healthier and more successful in every way. Emotion-coaching implies the parent notices the child’s emotions and sees them as an opportunity for intimacy or teaching. The parent acknowledges the child’s perspective and empathizes. Once the kid has had a chance to express the emotion, the parent supports the child to problem-solve.

Why is emotion-coaching so important? Because the parent helps the kid feel secure enough to feel the emotions, so they can be experienced and begin to dissipate. The child learns that emotions aren’t dangerous and can be managed.

Children who are uncooperative, angry or frightful are signaling that they need us to “witness” their emotions by letting them be upset in our cherishing presence. Children who know their feelings are “permitted” don’t store them up, so they’re better able to deal with their emotions and behavior.

So if you’re connecting with your youngster, and setting limits with plenty of empathy, and your child is still acting out, she’s flagging you that she needs help with her emotions.

5. Children learn what they live.

This is simple. In case we’re considerate and respectful to a kid, they become respectful, considerate individuals. Kids who are rude and disrespectful learned it somewhere; if they carry it into the house and we politely advice them that we don’t relate that way, they don’t adopt that style. If we yell at them, they learn to yell, and they’ll be yelling back at us by the time they’re eight. Ultimately, what your children experience as they grow up with you will depend on who you are, and that will be more important than any parenting philosophy.

Easy? No. This kind of parenting requires you to manage your own emotions. That’s the hardest work there is.

But giving your kids a decent start in life implies you’re sending ripples for generations into the future. Not just your kids, but their children, and their children, and their children. Imagine all those happy, compassionate, self-disciplined people, all flourishing and making the world a better place, because of you. They’re all waving to you from the future, saying Thank You.

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Understanding your child’s behavour

All parents wonder at times whether their child’s behaviour is normal. Kids at every age exhibit embarrassing or frustrating behaviours: whining, tantrums, bathroom talk, swearing, or bossiness. These behaviours test your patience and can leave you at your wit’s end. As much as you cherish your child, his actions can make you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to other people’s criticism.Parents ask: “Why is he doing this?”, “Will she outgrow this?”, “What should I do?” For each challenging behaviour, parents struggle with what is normal, what is acceptable, and how to deal with it. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference between unacceptable behaviour and normal development.

Is This Behaviour Normal?

It’s tough to know what behaviour is “normal” without considering the context or intensity as well as the behaviour itself. Behaviours may become “abnormal” if they last too long, if they occur at the wrong time or place, or if they are exceed acceptable limits. Behaviours that interfere with daily routines may also be abnormal. Clearly, it is important to catch and change these behaviours early.Parents often turn to one another when their child’s behaviour overwhelms them. It is important to reach for support and voice your concerns. This helps you focus on the behaviour rather than your own embarrassment. The ages listed here are approximate guidelines. The behaviours listed occur most frequently but are not limited to these ages. Behaviours may reappear at any time, particularly in times of stress

Understanding Those Embarrassing Behaviours

Sometimes it seems that children resist every limit you set. The resistance and your response to it helps them learn limits and rules for getting along with others.“Look at that man in the wheelchair!” Jimmy called to his mother in the store.Brian and Chris giggled as they made bathroom noises with their mouths and hands while waiting for the movie to begin.“I want it, I wa-ant it!” screamed Jennifer in the toy aisle.Children may behave inappropriately to get something they want or to avoid something they don’t want to do. Sometimes they act inappropriately because their friends do. Still others are just trying to satisfy their curiosity. However, the most common reason for misbehaviour is simply to get attention.Most children love an audience. When you’re in public places such as stores or restaurants, they sense that you may give in to their wishes to keep the peace. Your embarrassment might allow them to get away with unacceptable behavior.

Comparing Behaviours

Some parents find certain behaviours tolerable or even lovable at home but find them uncomfortable in the public’s eye. Other parents struggle with the sense that their child just doesn’t “fit the mould.” Still others need to discipline behaviours that are unacceptable or unsafe. Take comfort in the fact that all children misbehave sometimes. Children act in different ways and parents struggle with how to respond. Although you can’t predict when a negative behavior will arise, how you react affects how long the behavior continues. Children simply outgrow some behaviours. Most children will fight or bluff, act shy or talk back at some point. Most outgrow it without special effort on your part.

Responding To Your Child

Although each child and situation is different, there are basic guidelines for dealing with troubling behaviours. First, keep your child and others safe. Stay close to help your child gain control of his behaviour or to establish limits.It may be effective to ignore certain behaviours such as whining or bathroom talk when they first occur. Later, talk it over with your child. “Those words can hurt people’s feelings and our family doesn’t use them.” Other behaviours may be better handled by redirection. “I know you’re angry but I can’t let you bang on the TV. You can hit this big pillow all you want.” Redirection helps provide a solution for each of you. Similarly, certain situations are best diffused before they get out of hand. When you see your ten- year-old about to explode because he’s been left out and teased, step in to relieve the pressure. Offer an substitute action to all the children. “Why don’t we all play Capture The Flag now?”Help your child face the consequences of his actions. This may be uncomfortable for your child but it is important to give him clear guidance and the opportunity to set things right. “Kevin, we need to take this candy back to the store and explain to the clerk you didn’t pay for it.” Make it clear to your child that stealing the candy was unacceptable and he must face the consequences.