#top 10 of their discography hands down i will never get over it actually i don't have words

[folklouire]

LONELY IS THE MUSE

Vevo Official Live Performance

[defensefilms]

Defense Films Names His Top 5 Favorite Rappers

In All It’s Infinite Glory And Magnanimity, Defense Gives You His Top 5 Favorite Rappers. 

5. 50 Cent 

To this day, when you need a playlist for a MMA class and the group is hella diverse, you’re not really sure which way to go with it, pop in that 50. Can’t go wrong with Get Rich Or Die Trying (the original), or even that G-Unit Beg For Mercy.

That run from late 2002-2005/06 was unlike anything you’ll ever see again. That was a perfect situation where there was organic support from fans and there were people at a business level, mainly 50, that knew how to turn it into the wave that it became and industry has been trying to replicate this ever since.

While most people remember is the numerous scandals, beefs and controversies of that time but it was the music that moved the audience. For all the ways 50 Cent’s success mirrors ruthless American capitalism, his debut album is low key one of the most inspiring albums you’ll ever listen to. 

It’s a foxhole mentality on wax. It’s me-versus-you type thinking. It’s someone has to lose and I’ll be damned. It’s who ever has to get hit, is gonna get hit. 

See the first time I listened to it, it was about “In Da Club”, “Wanksta”, you know the more palatable records that got on radio and all that but the more I listened the more I realized, it was actually built on the backs of songs like “Patiently Waiting”, “Many Men”, “Back Down”, “Don’t Push Me��� and “Gotta Make It To Heaven”. On one side it’s as motivational as you can think of but it’s not the wacky kind of naivé motivational talk because it’s willing to get it’s hands dirty and go in to much grittier ideas. 

Like his predecessors, 50 pulls off the trick of balancing easy-to-listen-to records on a foundation of graphic and aggressive songs.  

Recommended Songs: Maybe We Crazy, When It Rains It Pours

4. Jedi Mind Tricks

I’ll give you props if you know who these man are but they are legends. Point blank. Violent By Design will forever rank as one of the great group albums in hip-hop history.  Vinny Paz, Jus Allah and producer/DJ Stoupe The Enemy of Mankind, gave hip-hop a shockwave they weren’t ready for, especially back in 1999.

Hip-hop as a business wasn’t ready to market a group, whose themes were rooted in topics like government control, military warfare, covert control tactics, religion and psychological warfare. To have all that in one bundle wasn’t something that big time A&R’s were ready for. 

Had they started this group in 2010, they would have walked in to a business landscape that was far more suitable to who they were as an act and as MC’s. 

Even with that JMT still enjoyed a lot of notoriety and they definitely succeeded in establishing their following, despite the odds. 

While Violent By Design may serve as the magnum opus of their body of work, their run really starts in 1997 with the Psycho-Social, Biological & Electro-Magnetic Manipulation Of Human Kind. 

Yes guy, that’s an album title. You gotta think now, I was in high school the first time I heard this and I was very into conspiracy theories and nonsense, so this album hit me right between the eyes. The idea that someone could use the medium of hip-hop in this way was crazy and the album would have been more than 10 years old when I first heard it.

No, the hip-hop historians among us will argue that Wu-Tang were a better and more influential group and I’d tend to agree, I can also bust back and say, “these dudes took Wu-Tang’s formula and gave it a whole different edge.”

 I’ll break it to you like this, Wu-Tang gave the world swordsmanship and the first projectile weapons like bow and arrows, spears and the likes. Jedi Mind Tricks gave the world gun powder, advanced modern explosives and semi-automatics. You see what I mean?

Recommended Songs: Untitled, Retaliation Remix

3. Jay-Z

No top rappers list is complete without my man. The only reason he ain’t higher is because, I rate a rapper more highly if they’re in the prime of their musical abilities. If this were an all-time list he’d be way way higher. 

Beginning with Reasonable Doubt is really the only place to start when it comes to Jay. The production, the skits, the way every sentence was so tightly wound together, the word selection and sentence construction. It’s remembered as an album of hits because of tracks like “Cant Knock The Hustle”, ”Feelin It” and “Brooklyn’s Finest” but Reasonable Doubt was really defined by “Dead Presidents”, “D’evils”, “Politics As Usual” and “Can I Live”. 

The first batch of songs gave the album some relatability, as far as depicting club vibes and nightlife glamour because that second batch of songs were all built on darker themes like betrayal, jealousy, greed, blind ambition and deception. That combination of themes as well as the production to match each one is why that album will always rank high among a certain listenership. 

With that being said, never make the mistake of thinking Jay or any man is perfect. There’s like a 3 album run where there’s moments of dope-ness but not a truly complete album. 

Still with that, songs like “Imaginary Player” and “Where I’m From” will rank among his best songs.

It’s only when you get to The Blueprint can you start to see Jay perfecting the art of crafting, whole, complete albums that bump from start to finish. The Blueprint was near perfection in this regard. “U Don’t Know”, “Heart Of The City” and “Momma Loves Me” will rank as his best efforts and yeah, I skipped a few.

The Black Album replicated the Blueprint’s listenability, while also dealing in topics that created an album that sounded very personal to Jay. 

All told, the best parts of his catalogue are so strong that there is no denying his place on my list.

Recommended Songs: Dead Presidents, I Love The Dough

2. Action Bronson

I cannot for the life of me fathom how this man doesn’t get the love but the real ones know. 

The mixtape download era (2010-2017 give or take), had many unlikely success stories. An overweight white guy, who grew up cooking in his parents deli/eatery, turned pro-chef then turned rapper, is beyond unlikely. Only the internet could allow this man to succeed and thank the hip-hop gods it did.

From 2012 to about 2018, Action was one of the only constants in my playlist. I still remember where I was the first time I heard “Brunch”. His catalogue starting with the Tommy Mas produced, Dr Lecter and boasting full collaborations albums along side Statik Selektah and the Alchemist, and of course the classic Blue Chips series. This man’s prime will be underrated. 

If you’re going to take one chapter of Bronson’s art and study it, it’s going to be Blue Chips 1 and 2. Both are thematically perfect without ever trying to be. Which is what allowed Party Supplies to make production choices that grabbed you from the jump. From the first time you hit play on the opening of Blue Chips 1, you’re hit with the sound of falling shards of glass and a violin sound that makes the opening song un-skippable. The songs themes are also a perfect introduction to the man himself. Debauchery, expensive taste, hedonism, revelry, unabashed pleasure-seeking, drug use and just enough self-depreciation that you felt you were along for the ride rather than just a fly on the wall, turning your nose in disgust. It was a perfect mixtape, at a time when mixtapes were at a crazy dumb high standard.

It’s not so much that a rapper made punchlines about food, that would be an over-simplification and really missing the trick. It’s that he made everything he said sound like the dopest thing ever and the most underrated trick about his music is that he made grown man rap without needing to be thuggin’. A rare feat. 

Bronson has since gone on to establish himself as a content creator/producer/food review guy but man, what he accomplished as a complete body of work is nothing short of astonishing.

Recommended Songs: Midget Cough, Bonzai

1. Headie One

So it’s late last year. I’m hanging with my boy Phil and Brown, we had just finished some content and Phil says “yo listen to this”. He proceeds to play Golden Boot and it hasn’t stopped bumping since. 

A UK rapper with a lyrical nous and wit that rivals even legends like Jay-Z, but rapping over trap and drill beats. What Headie One is doing is not the norm and I’m talking in terms of his lyrics, sentence construction, word selection, metaphors, he does it all and like all the greats, he makes it look easy. 

His collaboration with RV definitely helped mold him, with both the “Sticks and Stones” and “Drillers and Trappers” mixtapes giving you an idea of what Headie offers as a lyricist. He compliments RV’s brash, aggressive boasts with slightly less obvious but incredibly witty boasts of his own.

His discography though really starts to peak with 2018′s “The One”. That’s where Headie begins find a sweet spot between his lyrics, production and the themes of his songs. A mixtape like this can only exist via independent release because outside of the aforementioned “Golden Boot”, ain’t none of those songs getting any radio play especially in a country as “conservative” as England. Even in a genre saturated with gangsta/trap, “The One” stands out for what he accomplishes lyrically.

Headie would follow that by releasing “The One Two” in June of 2018 and he ascends even more in what he’s able to accomplish with the words.

 The track “Banter On Me” should be in an all-time list somewhere for being the wittiest track of all time. The song is literally just Headie finding new and innovative ways to boast, call out and bait his foes. Hip-hop/Rap has plenty of beef songs that weren’t really direct call outs to any known public figure but were still definitely taking shots at someone. 50 cent’s “Wanksta” and “Officer Down” are some examples of such songs I can think of. Those did not really have the kind of wit Headie displays here. The constant streams of alliterations, double meanings, puns, metaphors, inferences and innuendos is just astonishing. There’s a real mastery of language at play here. The song is a lesson in language, no textbooks. 

Headie has since released his debut album along with additional tracks for the delux version of the album. His debut studio release “Edna” does what studio releases are supposed to do. “Parle-Vouz Anglais” and “Aint It Different” will standout and are difinitely the most palatable songs as far as radio play. Those are the 2 songs I’d play for first time listeners. 

Recommended Songs: Hard To Believe, Dues, Zodiac

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Happiest Place on Earth

You’ve had a rough go of it recently. Your boyfriend, Chris, schemes with your boss to give you the vacation you deserve.

-

           You couldn’t lie. Your day got a million times better when you saw Chris’s contact picture light up your phone. It was a picture you’d taken of him at the beach, smiling as he held Dodger in one arm and your old dog in the other, and it made your heart melt like anything in the Los Angeles summer sun. You picked up the phone right away, walking away from where everyone was editing.

           “Hey,” Chris’s voice said brightly. “How’s my favorite girl doin’?”

           “Not great,” you responded honestly. “A bunch of files got corrupted, so then we had to get different cuts, and that means re-shoots, which means more work, and…” You sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be complaining.”

           “It’s okay to get frustrated. I was going to ask when you think you’ll be done this afternoon?”

           “I don’t know, maybe seven? I know that ruins dinner, but…”

           “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about it. Just get home when you can, bubba, alright?” You melted again at his sweet nickname for you and sat down at your desk, flicking your Nomad Steve bobble-head that you’d gotten as a joke when you’d started dating Chris.

           “Okay. I’m sorry.”

           “Don’t say that, you’re just doing your job. I’ll see you around seven-thirty, okay?”

           “Okay.”

           “I love you.”

           “I love you too.” He hung up a second later and you rolled your chair back over to the large computer where everyone was reviewing footage. You were lucky enough to get a job in Boston right after you finished working with Marvel, so while you had an amazing job editing, it took the life out of you. Computers were finicky, and you’d just lost half of what you’d done so far because someone had dropped the hard drive and corrupted everything. You were about to cry and it was barely 10 AM. But you loved it, so you stayed, despite all of the bad. You just wanted to see this video get edited, even if it took until the middle of the night.

           Chris sighed as he hung up the phone on you. He could hear in your voice that you were frustrated beyond belief. An idea popped into his head and he scrolled through his phone until he found the phone number he was looking for. Your boss, Jenna, had gone to school with Chris, and he just so happened to have her number. She answered right away, and Chris explained everything. That you were completely burned out, your fifteen year-old dog had died last month, and that even though you desperately needed a vacation you weren’t going to do it yourself. So he took ten out of the twenty-five PTO days you’d saved up over the past year, since they rolled over and you hadn’t taken a vacation the last year or the six months before that when you first started. Your boss said she’d send you home at seven even if you weren’t done and she’d send an intern to take your spot for a few days, and Chris grinned to himself as he hung up.

           He went directly to his computer and the website auto-filled before he even typed the entire thing in. He picked out the resort that your family used to stay at when you were kids, hoping he remembered it correctly, and he calculated how much time it would take to drive there and back because he knew you would be even angrier at him if he spent money on last-minute plane tickets. Then he got tickets, one for each park, and a whole extra day for the Star Wars park because he knew you were excited to go, and typed in his credit card. Would you be pissed? Probably. But would it be worth it when he drove through the gates and saw you smile? Definitely.

           You were a little alarmed when your boss sent you home, especially with that grin on her face that meant something was going on, and you tried not to be suspicious. You got to the house to see that the SUV had moved – you’d taken Chris’s car that morning, since he wasn’t planning to go anywhere, but he must have because it was backed in close to the back gate. You stuck your hands in your coat, locking the car in your pocket, and went in the front door. Dodger greeted you like he always did, jumping up on one of your legs until he could see that you weren’t hiding a treat in your hand. You greeted him with ear scratches before deciding to look for Chris.

           “Chris?” You asked. You saw him coming up the basement stairs and walked over to him. He was holding your laundry, which he usually complained about doing. “Why are you doing my laundry? Did you break something? Are you trying to butter me up?”

           “Not everything is about you, sweetheart,” he said as he put the white bin down. He greeted you with a kiss that he just smiled into.

           “Why are you so smiley?”

           “Can’t a guy smile at his girl?”

           “Nope, not you. Spill, Chris, what did you do?” He giggled, actually giggled, and took your hand. “Are you going to give me a hint?”

           “Nope. I’m going to lead you to your suitcase…” He took you up the stairs and then let you go in your bedroom, where he’d already gotten your suitcase out. “… and you’re going to pack for approximately eleven days. Bring triple the underwear, because you know why, at least three swimsuits, and your Chacos, and two cute outfits, but mostly functional. We’re going to be walking a lot.”

           “What?” You glared at him. He was just smiling, a shit-eating grin on his face, like he was waiting for you to figure it out. “Are you why Jenna sent me home early?”

           “Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll never know. But we need to leave within the hour, and we’ll be in the car for quite a while, so download some podcasts and music for us to listen to because you’re the DJ.”

           “Have I ever told you how much I hate you?”

           “Yep. Every day, gorgeous.” He cupped your cheeks in his hands, kissed you, and then called Dodger’s name. “Dropping the dog off at Carly’s, I’ll be back in about, eh, half an hour? What snacks do you want?”

           “Uh, the usual road trip snacks?”

           “So combos, sour patch kids, and Chick-Fil-A on the way out of town?”

           “Well, if you’re offering.” He rolled his eyes and left the room. You weren’t going to say no to whatever he had planned, because he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t think you would need it. So you packed everything he told you to pack, throwing in exactly what he told you to, but you went and grabbed some of his shirts to sleep in just to spite him.

           You finished packing your makeup, because he hadn’t really said anything about that but you just assumed, and shoved the bag in your suitcase. You packed up your personal computer, knowing he would kill you for taking your work computer, and gathered all of your chargers. He was back in a few minutes and you loaded everything into the SUV, grabbing a pillow and your favorite fuzzy blanket like he told you to, and you changed into road trip clothes, also known as shorts and one of Chris’s sweatshirts.

           “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” You asked as he pulled out of the house. He moved the GPS mount to the other vent, by him, so you couldn’t see.

           “Nope. You’re either figuring it out on the road or when we get there. So turn your location off.”

           “Whatever,” you said, showing him that you were turning your maps off. “How long are we driving? It’s almost 9.”

           “We’re driving until sunrise. And then I’m checking into a hotel, we’re sleeping, and then going on.”

           “Why couldn’t we fly?”

           “You would’ve been even more pissed off.”

           “Yeah, you’re not wrong.” You turned on your road trip playlist for about an hour before turning on the true crime podcast you and Chris liked to listen to whenever you got the chance to, which lately wasn’t very often. You fell asleep after a couple of hours and Chris turned on cruise control, since there wasn’t really anyone on the road, pressing the button to adjust it every so often. But for the most part, he was looking over at you and smiling, trying to figure out how the hell he managed to get you there.

           He herded you into a hotel as the sun was coming up, and you were so tired that you didn’t even care where you were. You just passed out on the bed and Chris tucked you in, heading to shower before joining you. When you woke up you checked in on Dodger, FaceTiming him, and then he got the two of you breakfast. You decided that he had to be driving down the coast because you kept seeing signs for beach highways, and that meant you were probably going to the Outer Banks or something like that. You were curious, but you trusted Chris. He wouldn’t take you anywhere he didn’t think was worthy of ten vacation days. You ignored most of the signs, but you determined after looking at freeway signs that you were going south.

           “Can I drive?” You asked, noticing that Chris was getting a little tired. He had moved his left leg a little bit and even though he’d been holding your hand for a few hours, he was getting antsy.

           “Nope. But I am stopping here.” He pulled over at a rest stop for the two of you to go to the bathroom and stretch your legs a little bit, but you were back in the car first. He looked happy as he walked back. He was wearing his gray sweat pants and a t-shirt and his Red Sox hat over the mop of hair that he hadn’t brushed that day. He threw away your food trash and then walked back, noticing you were looking at him.

           “What?” He asked. “If you’re going to keep looking at me like that, let me know and I’ll find another hotel.” You rolled your eyes, elbowing him. He scratched at his beard a little before moving his hand in between your thighs underneath the blanket, gripping your leg with his gigantic hand. He squeezed it three times – I love you – and then let you go so he could drive again.

           You spent most of the night blasting music, mostly bad pop-punk music from your childhoods, and probably listened to most of Blink-182’s discography along with the Top Gun soundtrack and even some Disney soundtracks, before moving back to podcasts. You saw a sign that said welcome to Florida and looked over at him.

           “No fucking way,” you said, suddenly catching on. He was heading toward the middle of Florida, not the coastal highway anymore, which meant you were either going to Orlando or the Keys, and the amount of hours added up to…

           “You okay?” He asked, grinning. “You understand now?”

           “Did you seriously steal my vacation days so we could go to Disney World?” He turned down Creep with his right hand and reached over to anchor his hand at the back of your head before leaning over to kiss your hairline.

           “I did. If you’re okay with that?”

           “Definitely. I love you.”

           “Yeah, I love you too.” It would be the second time you’d gone together, the first time being Disneyland at a Marvel event where he’d asked you to be his date. You usually just drove up to Maine or something for a couple days to relax at the beach, or there was one time when he took you to New York for the weekend to see your favorite show on Broadway.

           You were eager and sitting up as you listened to the last couple of podcast episodes you’d downloaded. Chris drove into the sunrise for another few hours before you finally saw the gates of Disney and you took your phone out, taking a video for your Instagram story. Chris just smiled at the camera, making it known that this was all his doing, and he slowed down. He made you cover your ears for what resort you were staying at, but when he pulled into the Port Orleans resort you realized it was because that was where your family stayed when you were a kid and you always talked about how you loved the French Quarter section. When he led you up to the room you found out that he’d gotten a view of the lake.

           “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You said as you put your suitcase down.

           “Nah, you don’t need to.” He handed you your magic band from the last time you’d gone together – you hadn’t really gotten a choice since Marvel had sent them to Chris, but when he realized that it Peter Pan on it, who was your favorite Disney character, he’d given it to you while he took the Mickey one.

           “Yeah, I do. I love you.” You hugged him tightly and he just smiled down at you. His beard got caught in your hair and he had to un-tangle it before you could part ways.

           “I love you too. We should probably take a couple showers. Since it’s the smallest I figured we’d hit Magic Kingdom today, eat dinner there, and stay for the fireworks? If you’re not too tired we can stay after hours.”

           “Sounds good.” The two of you hopped in the shower together, mostly just to save time because you were both eager to get to the parks. You grabbed coffee from the shop downstairs and waited for the bus to take you there.

           You spent almost the entire day there, until it was a couple of hours until dinner. You’d both chosen to get on a water ride even though you weren’t dressed for it, so you had to go back and take another shower before then. You decided to dress up a little bit, since he’d told you what restaurant you were going to, and saw him smile as he emerged from the bathroom. You went back out to eat dinner and then he dragged you over to where the fireworks would be, even though they weren’t for half an hour, trying to get the two of you a good spot. He was like a little kid. You were both sitting on one of the fountain edges, sipping at beers, and then the fireworks were starting. You finished your beers and stood up, throwing them away before making your way back to Chris. He stood behind you, guarding you, and put his arms around you from the back, squeezing you into a hug as the music started.

           “Thank you,” you said to him, smiling as you turned to kiss him.

           “It’s the happiest place on Earth, babe.” You laughed and started watching the fireworks. They were over way to soon and you both decided just to turn in. You were exhausted, and you nearly fell asleep on him on the bus ride back to the resort. You took your clothes off, deciding to just deal with your leftover makeup tomorrow, and watched Chris as he got ready for bed.

           “What?” He asked you, looking you up and down. He finished what he was doing and walked over to you, a smile on his face, and pulled you close to him. You could smell his cologne even though he’d taken his clothes off, too. His skin still had a sweaty sheen on it from how hot it was outside, but you didn’t care.

           “I’m going to say something so cheesy you’ll want to punch me in the face.” He chuckled and wrapped his arm around your waist, kissing your neck and your shoulder until they were red.

           “What would that be?”

           “I’m glad you’re here. You’re my happy place. Even if Disney kind of is too.” You had both known you were in it for the long haul awhile ago, but you’d never admitted that to him; that you were never as happy as you were when you were with him. No matter where you were, or what situation you were in.

           “You just had to steal my spotlight, didn’t you?” He said against your skin.

           “Sorry.” He squeezed your body closer, tangling your legs together.

           “No. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’d do anything to make you happy. I love you so much, bubba. And I’m sorry I stole your vacation days.”

           “I love you too. We’ll discuss your punishment for that when I wake up.”

           “Ooh, punishment, I like the sound of that.”

           “We are in Disney World, Chris, get your mind out of the gutter!” The both of you laughed against one another for another few minutes before your conversation shifted to the next day’s plans, and with a final I love you, you were both asleep.

A/N: This is literally my dream so thanks to whoever requested! I loved writing this one so much! 

Taglist (if you’d like to be added, send me a message!): @an-adventureland, @firstangeldragonranch, @ssebstann, @winterreader-nowwriter

[pogueit]

Snip Snip Bitch

Sarah Cameron x reader!

A/N: Hello! I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

Summary: The one were you get a botched cut from JJ and Sarah is more than eager to help a dumb bitch out.

Songs: I wanna be adored by The Raveonettes, Eau D'bedroom Dancing by Bikini Kill, and basically Orville Pecks entire discography.

Warnings: None???

Word Count: 2,273

This week had to be the hottest week the OBX has ever suffered through. You were miserable as always, but especially so because while JJ and John B. were sent off to catch and relocate a gang of raccoons terrorizing a neighborhood in Figure 8 you had to go to the Cameron's residence, yet again. In the last couple of days, you had been sent by your dad to the Cameron's AT LEAST eight times to fix menial things around their property and half of those times were spent in Sarah Cameron's bedroom. 

Normally, it wouldn't be such a big problem since you've seen everyone’s room at this point, but certain feelings towards Sarah had shifted in recent months. You started sneaking little glances at her whenever she passed by, your heart would nearly implode when she would stop and say hello or bring drinks for the working crew (which JJ says she never did when you weren’t there), you began to do stupid things to get her to look over in your direction even if it was just for a second (like tackling JJ into the water, jumping off the top of the Druthers onto the dock, or spraying Rafe in the face with the power hose), and your stomach would drop to the earth’s core whenever you saw her with golden boy Topper. So, it wasn't hard to tell you had a thing for the blonde. When the pogues found out they relentlessly teased you about it and more terrifying they always opted out of jobs at the Cameron's and dumped them on you. You hated being sent over by yourself without your shitty wingmen because with your newly discovered feelings you couldn't help but be severely awkward around her. 

If you only knew she thought it was the cutest thing in the world. Sarah Cameron has spent the entire week destroying her house just so she could see you, again. She loved the not-so-sneaky-glances you shot her way when you thought she wasn't looking, the little faces you would pull when you were talking to Rafe, the absolute dumbest things you would do to get her to look at you, and how much you would reassure her she isn't a stupid fucking klutz for breaking everything in her room.

Sarah was praying that you would make a move already, but that has proved difficult with your newly developed shyness. So, she decided to break one more thing, her bathroom sink. She honestly doesn’t know how she did it but she did and now her insides are bubbling at the thought of you coming over.

You took JJ's cap on and off trying to settle your hair in a presentable way as you made your way up the pathway to the house. Now, you've suffered through a multitude of BAD haircuts, but this one has to take the cake. In your inebriated state, you decided you were long overdue for a haircut and a haircut you received. JJ seemed well versed in the haircutting trade as he's cut his own hair millions of times before without killing himself, this should’ve been no different. Your intoxicated decisions have failed you yet again and now you were stuck looking like a mutilated poodle. 

You couldn’t brace yourself just yet to face Sarah looking like a chopped onion so you decided to stop by and see what Rafe has fucked up this time. He was hunched over the red bike confusion engulfed his hard features as he meddled with the engine. 

"What's up with your bike?" You drop the toolbox which made him jump slightly.

"Jesus, you're back again?" Rafe playfully rolled his eyes at you.

"Well, someones gotta unfuck up things around here" you squatted down next to Rafe "What's the problem?".

"It won’t turn over" you peered down at the dismantled vehicle in front of you. The simple solution to all his problems made a smile tug at the corners of your lips.

"Did you just take it out for a ride?"

"Yeah, I just got back, why?"

"You just need gas, dumbass" you finally let the shit-eating grin take over your face. 

"You're lying!" Rafe stated in disbelief as he stumbled over to check the empty fuel tank. 

"Fuck!" He groaned into his hands and took a seat on the ground next to you.

"And that's why your dad keeps me around"

"Shut up" Rafe smacked the brim of the cap down your face which exposed your last night mistake.

"What the fuck happened to you" it was his turn to laugh as you scrambled to hide your hair with the cap.

"Fuck you" 

"It doesn't look that bad... with the hat on" he tried his best to stifle the laughter that brewed in his chest "Sarah won't care". You could feel your body freeze over when he mentioned his sister and hoped your voice won’t fail you. 

"A-and why do you think I c-care?" You mentally face palmed yourself upon hearing how the words left your dry mouth.

"You know why" He stood up from the paved road and extended his arm towards you "now go do what we paid you to do".

You trudged up the steps to Sarah's room. The warmth in your cheeks increased with each step and your heart was bouncing around in your chest. There wasn't anything you could do at this point, so you braced yourself and knocked. When the door flung open your heart broke through your rib cage and exploded into imaginary fireworks that lit up behind your eyes.

"Hey!" She beamed a gentle smile taking over her lips as she looked down at you. You had to restrain yourself from tucking a stray delicate strand of blonde behind her ear.

"Hey" you meekly responded and lifted up your shitty toolbox "heard you need your sink fix".

"Oh, yeah!" She beckoned you to follow her. Once you stepped into her room you could feel your heart rate pick up yet again and your stomach brewing with nerves. 

"It floods my bathroom every time I turn it on" she sighed as she sat down next to the sink, her legs softly swaying over the edge. You nodded as you squatted down to take a look under the sink leaving your toolbox next to Sarah. 

When the light from the flashlight hit the pipe you were surprised how fucked up they actually were.

"Fuck, this is broken broken" you mumbled as you peered at the battered metal pipes. From the corner of your eye, you could see Sarah try to suppress a guilty grin. There was only one pipe you could replace at that time and luckily it was the one with a huge crack down the middle. 

“Uh, I can only replace one part today, I’ll have to come back tomorrow to fix the rest” you could have sworn you saw her eyes light up when you mentioned the prospect of coming back, but you just brushed it off. Sarah was eager to lend a helping hand, always handing you different tools, never the right ones, but you appreciated it, especially so, when your hands would briefly meet ever so often. 

It was quiet for a moment before Sarah had an impending question she just had to get an answer to. 

"Are you and JJ like a thing?" when the question left her lips your head jolted back slamming against the underbelly of the sink.

"Fuck, w-why would you think that?" You leaned back against the wall opposite of Sarah and held the back of your now dented head.

"Well... I ALWAYS see you guys together and half the clothes you’re wearing right now are his" 

"Fair enough" you nodded glancing down at your outfit which did indeed mainly consist of the boy's clothes "but we're definitely not a thing, as for the hat I got a botched cut".

"You have to show me!" Sarah’s eye’s immediately lit up.

"Uh, most definitely not"

"I won't laugh I promise!" you sighed as you slowly took off the only thing making you look like you had a normal haircut. She shrieked when her eyes finally saw the disaster before her. Sarah slid herself off the counter and kneeled down next to you taking your warm face into her soft hands. The proximity of both your faces was about to send you into a cardiac arrest.

"Do you want me to fix it?" She finally spoke up after marveling at the complex haircut you had received.

"Uh, no yeah if you think you can even fix it" your cheeks were on fire from the embarrassment you never wanted to kill JJ so much in your life. 

"I can at least make it better than this" she ran her hand through your hair which in turn made your whole body flare up with goosebumps.

She instructed you to sit on top of the sink counter facing the mirror as she gathered a towel and scissors. She then gently clipped the towel around your neck making sure it wasn't strangling you. 

"Are you ready?" She peeked over your head staring at you through the mirror. You could barely nod because your mind was just thinking about her warm hands on your cold shoulders.

"If it still looks ugly we can always shave it" she giggled when your eyes almost fell out of your sockets at the mere thought of shaving your head.

"Umm, how about no?"

"What? I think you'd look so cute!"

"I'd look like I'm 10!"

"It would still be cute" she mumbled as she began to snip the mutilated strands. You two stayed silent for a while the sharp sound of the scissors taking over. You tried your best not to stare at her as she worked on your hair, but she was just so darn cute when she was concentrating. Meanwhile, Sarah’s smile continued to grow each time she caught your eye making it hard for her to focus on fixing your hair.

"Almost done just need to fix the front '' she motioned you to turn around and face her. You did as you were told uncrossing your legs in the process. Sarah then made herself comfortable between your legs and brushed some loose hair off your cheeks with her fingertips.

"Are you breathing there y/n?" Sarah giggled looking down at you. A strangled "Yep" managed to escape your lips. All you wanted to do was reach out and kiss her already, but you couldn't risk the embarrassment of rejection. What would the “kook princess” herself want anything to do with a dirty pogue only bred to mow lawns anyway? The only thing you could do now is just cherish this only type of intimacy you will ever get out of the girl. 

When the snipping stopped your stomach dropped. 

"All done! You're officially the coolest bitch in the OBX!" She smiled down at you running her hands through her latest masterpiece. Sarah didn't make any effort in moving from her current position which is still standing snuggly in between your thighs. Silence once again took over the room as you both focused on the proximity of one another. So close, yet so far away. Each of you fighting within yourselves to be brave enough and confess. Sarah's hands danced around your sitting thighs not sure whether to finally give in and touch your bare thighs. 

"So, are you going to kiss me or what?" Sarah finally broke toying with the frayed hem on your shorts. You could clearly see the impatience riddled across her soft features and you were more than happy to oblige. You gently cupped her face with your trembling hands before smashing your lips against hers. You will forever be grateful to JJ for showing you the wonders of exfoliating your lips, as your lips glided with ease against Sarah’s. The kiss was rough and frenzied as both of your suppressed emotions were finally being attended to. Your hands quickly entangled themselves into her golden locks pulling her even closer. Sarah's hands wandered up your exposed thighs making you erupt into goosebumps before securely wrapping her arms around your waist. You could feel little fires erupting all over your body where her hands were and you could feel the struggle in your breathing, but you didn’t want this moment to end not just yet. 

You were the first one to pull away from oxygen deprivation and giggled seeing the girl chase after your lips and let out a whine. You marveled at how flushed her cheeks and swollen lips were. Sarah could spend the next century kissing you and still not get over the sensation of your delicate lips against hers, but she could tell there was something on your mind other than needing to breathe. 

“What?” she whispered, bringing her forehead to rest against yours. 

“What about Topper?” Even if he is one of the biggest assholes in the Outer Banks you didn’t think it was fair to the boy.

“That dickhead? He’s just helping me out being my beard” she giggled as she ran her hands through your hair once again.

“Your beard” You couldn’t help but laugh. This entire time golden boy Topper was just helping Sarah out and all your maliciousness towards the poor boy was all for nothing.

“Does that make my girl happy?” Sarah giggled as your eyes snapped back up at her. Just those two words made your insides vibrate with a whirlwind of happiness. You didn’t say anything you just roped her another kiss, which you will definitely be doing more often. 

[kayliemusing]

30

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

[flipsideds]

“ oh, haha... ”  a default response to a very non-default situation –– a little post-show, barside rendez-vous with an older man who insists nour has been singing to directly to him the entire night. “ flirting ?  i... ”  

gentle eyes gloss over the banquet hall’s dimmed lights, bright smiles, flickering electric candles... “ . . . what’s that ? ”  and then he’s off, gin and tonic in hand. three strides and it’s already half-drained. yikes.

or, alternatively :  greetings loved ones!! my name is linc ( 21 / est / she/her ) and here is the ever so graceful, ever so unintentionally magnetic nour al-busiri! below the cut you’ll find a messy run-down. i am so excited to plot & write with all of you !!

( i’m scheduled for a tonsillectomy tomorrow so i’m gonna be so grateful for the distraction, y’all have no idea. ) 

if you want some great mood-setters for this beb’s backstory / insight into his soul, slap on some jacob collier, kevin garrett, or charlie burg ‘n let’s get cookin’ !

so this is all copy-pasted from a discord chat with devon bc i improvised nour’s entire life story over a span of... 10 minutes ?? bahaha pls enjoy i apologize in advance. ( i also put this in normal text size bc it is v long and i don’t want anyone hurting their eyes !! protect dem beautiful retinas <3 )

h i s t o r y .

his parents met in grade school in egypt, but then didn't reconnect until their masters studies crossed paths in london... immediately fell head over heels again ( had they been searching for one another in crowds since being 6-7 years old?? maybe... ). graduated top of their class, accepted job offers in london in the biopharmaceutical realm. but then. when nour was 3...

they were involved in a freak monorail accident on their way back from a science conference in amsterdam. the babysitter paid 80 quid to watch the kids for two nights became their sole protector in this world. british authorities had trouble contacting other kin, but managed to reach mr. al-busiri's mother, rashida, who was still living in dahab with her second husband, zaim.

the al-busiri's came from old money. so off nour goes ( and potentially his older bro if i decide he exists... potential wc with a rami malek fc tbh ) to live in the city which, unbeknownst to him, sparked his parents' storybook love.

so nour grows up in this like... picturesque seaside childhood. collects shells. bonds with his grandmother and her husband. they encourage him with school, etc. but he quickly shows that he excels at maths and... music? wow. that's unexpected. gets his first piano at 5. first guitar at 6. by 8 1/2, he's managed to hodge-podge together a little recording studio for himself in his bedroom, and he's constantly serenading his friends at school.

( death tw / illness tw ) then comes zaim's stroke. he lives for four months after, but he loses his ability to speak. his motor skills deteriorate. nour and his grandmother do their best to tend to him –– she's already about 40% down the macular degeneration path, but hasn't told him yet that her vision's going. so 10 y/o nour does what he does best: unconditional love and support, delivered through the gift of song. zaim dies after requesting his favorite song: 'blackbird' by the beatles, sung in verses alternating from english to arabic.

after,  it's just nour and rashida against the world ( maybe his brother too bergorghre if i decide he's a thing ) . rashida's forced to come clean about her vision the day she can't for the life of her find the bloody pen she just put down so she can finish signing off on nour's choir trip permission slip. ( it's right next to her, to her left, just out of her closing field of vision. ) things progress more rapidly after that. by the time nour's 16, his grandmother is legally blind. it's not an uncommon sight to see him at the markets or strolling along the beach with her on his arm. she refuses canes as long as nour's around. ( “ don't rob me of my youth, nuri-nuri [ my light ] ”  )

despite her growing dependency on him, she encourages him to apply to unis all over the globe. by the time college apps roll around, nour is somewhat of a local household name: he plays summer concerts, coffee shops, and is even asked to play at his teacher's wedding ceremony –– and his neighbor's cat funeral.

acceptances roll in. julliard. berkeley. chicago school of music. he chooses chicago, because there's someone there. someone he connected with online a few years back, a friend, but... could turn into something more. this hopeless romantic heedlessly ventures off to find out if this boy in chicago might... be someone. something more.

spoiler alert: he gets to chicago, starts music school. and each meet-up they set? gets pushed. sometimes it's traffic. a cold. transit trouble. can't get work off, sorry. things with ma are really tough. the excuses kept coming but... nour's naive. he believes every word. but in his second year of uni, things....... start getting suspicious. by chance, he spots this man in the window of a coffee shop downtown. overjoyed, he texts as much. but ... messages go read and unanswered. phone calls dwindle.

his music suffers. so does his muse. so much so that he's tempted to drop out, to throw in the towel, to just...... go back home. he speaks with his grandmother each day on the phone. she's doing well, stop worrying, nuri-nuri, your uncle is taking good care of me. nour goes on dates. thinks about chicago boy. thinks about him a lot.

he's 20 when it happens. sat on a stage in a little dive bar, tuning his acoustic guitar for an opening number, and there. those eyes. he knows them.

they talk after the show, in the alley. share a cigarette. and it's almost like... maybe things are finally clicking. maybe this is finally their shot.

except chicago boy ( neil ) says they have to stop talking. that he had to just... see nour for himself. see that he's real. hear him sing, and... move on. nour doesn't buy it. pushes back. asks why the hell neil'd come out now only to slink back to the shadows. things get heated. neil yells. and the men... the men who hear and come running ?  they think nour is the cause of it all.

( hate crime tw, violence tw )  how many kicks does it take to break to the center of a broken heart ? twelve. how many broken ribs does it take to immobilize a probably terrorist, dude ? four. shattered wrist. snapped ankle. broken arm. cracked skull. and neil scuttles off like nour's bad meat. bad blood. like he asked for this. 

chicago school of music receives a call from weiss memorial three days later.

nour never gets his degree. he breaks his apartment lease. flies home after he heals, spends a year with his grandmother and uncle. just... creating. writing, playing, trying to fill that void with something. but then things with his uncle get heated. he wants to put his own mother in a home, sell the estate, pocket the cash. nour fights it, but he's got no legal bearing.

the nursing home concept never takes hold, though, because his grandmother's still sharp as shit and refuses to sign anything nour doesn't read first. eventually the uncle grows tired of fighting and stops trying, just... slinks back to his husband and keeps his mouth shut. nour's grandmother pressures him to go back to chicago, make that city wish he never left. take back his own story. together they work to find a live-in aide they trust. freshly 22, nour ventures back to the city that broke him.

he finds cheap housing, a gig. the malnati, seems legit. good money. good exposure. and then he meets @ryderxmms​ –– they form one night stand. when not scheduled for malnati banquets, you can find nour providing vocals ( and occasional keys ) in the dive bars / parties the band lands gigs at.

g e n e r a l .

nour creates like food and drink don’t exist, sunlight is an illusion, and all the human body needs for sustenance is sound. he can find his way around just about any instrument under the sun, but his main poisons are piano, acoustic guitar, and digital recording tools –– think jacob collier and you’re right on the money.

actually, i’m stealing a lot of jacob collier discography and pegging it as his creations. this kid’s got an experimental sound and loves it.

he grew up speaking english and arabic equally, but because he learned english in london and then continued in egypt, he does have a mild brit-arab accent. it’s v cute, i promise.

looks like he’d be a total lothario, yeah ?? but. he’s so shy ?  so sweet ?  get him on a stage and he’s shameless but plop him in a bar and eye him up and he’ll honestly just smile nervously and pretend you’re looking at someone else.

love languages : singing to his succulents and plants before his 5am morning runs. facetime calls at times least convenient for him, but most convenient for you. little notes written on napkins, smiley face doodles included. candy bars. lingering a little longer in doorways after saying hello, just to see you smile.

he’s got major water sign vibes. birthday comin’ up in march, woot woot !!

he often wears very simple statement pieces. he likes rings, crystal pendants, leather bracelets. soft tees layered with embroidered jackets, metallic blazers. somehow he pulls off mixed media and crazy prints that should never go together ?  he just... is so easy breezy.

he often wears his hair wild ‘n curly, unless the gig he’s got mandates a more streamlined look. 

falls in love.... 14 times a day ??  really.

has a scar across his left temple from the incident with neil. will probably write it off as a bike riding accident. ( he doesn’t know how to ride a bike. )

don’t let him cook ever, okay ??  unless you want him to literally do this.

pls come at me for all the plots ?  i’m so open for all the things !!!  y’all got me on discord, so feel free to slide on into my dms. i promise i will be so thrilled <3

[happymetalgirl]

March 2020

Wow, March seems like such a bygone era, time doesn’t mean anything anymore with so much turned upside down (especially in the music industry) in the throes of the pandemic going on right now. One of those things was me losing my punctuality with this blog. While I haven’t been on top of my writing, I have certainly been listening as much as ever, with plenty to talk about this month, so better late than never I suppose. Here are the albums I listened to during March.

Code Orange - Underneath

I just wrote about the Pittsburgh metalcore juggernauts’ highly anticipated fourth full-length, but I’ll summarize again what led me say that Underneath is a good album, but not as good as the breakthrough album whose high bar this album was always going to have a hard time clearing. The band go all in on the industrial elements that accented Forever on Underneath, as well as push their luck on the more melodic, alternative metal-oriented hardcore tracks, which came with some growing pains, the latter more than the former. And I really think that they probably are just growing pains with the band getting more comfortable with this expansion of their sound, which (contrary to what the many zealous 10/10 reviews are saying) I think the band will get significantly better with if they keep this trajectory going into their next album.

8/10

Body Count - Carnivore

I really have tried to focus on the positive aspects of Body Count’s music, the fearless, topical, confrontational lyricism and the capacity the band has to generate a good hardcore breakdown, but the band really do seem to be unable to get out of this one-dimensional rut they’re stuck in, with Carnivore simply a few shovels deeper in. The band’s appeal tires very quickly with Ice-T’s recycling of lyrical themes and his band’s repetitions of generic hardcore tropes. They come through with a few moments of intensity, a sick breakdown or two, but the positive, hopeful moments are too few and far between. I would think that with not a whole lot of competition and a hip hop icon behind the microphone that Body Count would have the capacity to do more for rap metalcore, but they seem stuck in a cycle I do respect the stances Body Count takes against injustice, and I want them to be a more prominent, important voice in metal, but they have some climbing to do to get there.

4/10

My Dying Bride - The Ghost of Orion

The grand masters of gothic death-doom don’t ever really steer too far off course, rather they sometimes just take their foot off the gas, as they do on The Ghost of Orion. It has all the elements of any beautifully melancholic My Dying Bride album; the slow and burgeoning guitars, the downtrodden vocal melodies juxtaposed with bursts of growled anguish, and the melodrama of vibrato-laden strings; but it’s all arranged and conjured without much tangible passion or pain. That’s by the standard of the band’s pretty solid discography though, so with that considered, it’s by no means a terrible death-doom album, it just won’t be converting anybody or getting anyone more excited about My Dying Bride and death-doom.

6/10

Warp Chamber - Implements of Excruciation

Brutal death metal can often seem pretty one-dimensional, and it often is, but in the hands of a band who really has the ambition to make more of it than just some guttural rumblings from all the instruments involved, the genre can really take on a wholy new monstrous form, its horrific, deathly instrumentation heightened by the melody and the compositional nuance that a competent band can bring to it, and that is exactly what Warp Chamber do on their debut album here. Full of cavernous growls and ceaseless low-register battery, it can seem, at face value like just a regular brutal death metal album, but when the band starts breaking out the winding tangents and manic solos that, again, just heighten the chaos and compliment the brutality. It’s more than just regular-ass death metal, and I’m glad to have heard this debut. I hope Warp Chamber has more in store.

8/10

Loathe - I Let It in and It Took Everything

Do you love Deftones? Maybe you do. I do. But I don’t think either of us love Deftones as much as Loathe loves Deftones. I’m goofing right now, but Loathe really do channel their Deftones fandom real hard when they’re not in full hardcore mode or getting eccentric with the segues on this album. And it does offer a great combination of styles, with angular, low-tuned modern metalcore noise riffage juxtaposed pretty strongly against the gauzy shoegaze that immediately hearkens to that facet of Deftones’ music. The band struggle to get the flow just right on certain songs and across the album in general, with some pretty inconsistent songwriting, but it’s definitely outweighed by its still somehow immersive quality and the strength of the individual pieces going into it.

7/10

Earth Rot - Black Tides of Obscurity

The Australian band brings forth some more of the tried and true modern death metal a la Bloodbath, Carnation, and modern Cannibal Corpse, but with enough eerie, blackened oddity throughout the songs to keep the journey from being too homogenous. It’s these moments that both give extra life to the bludgeoning, but at-times basic, modern death metal the band is conjuring and kind of disrupt the flow of that muscly death metal. At times I do wish the band would chose to focus one or the other more exclusively, but if this pushes Earth Rot further into this kind of stylistically ambitious death metal, I appreciate the stepping stone this album acts as.

7/10

Myrkur - Folksange

After riding a pretty strong wave of critical adoration for her contribution to the growing wave of atmospheric black metal that culminated in the respectably sonically unique Mareridt in 2017, Myrkur’s Amelie Bruun has taken a step back to refocus or recalibrate artistically. As the title suggests, Folksange finds its creator rewarding herself for her contributions to black metal with a return to her love of Scandinavian folk music, and you can tell she loves it on this entirely folk-music-based project devoid of any black metal elements. I may not have been as head-over-heels as a lot of critics were about her black metal albums, but I certainly appreciated her folk-inspired ambient take on the genre, especially the unique sonic pallet of Mareridt. I liked those albums quite a bit, yet it is clear that the sound on Folksange is her forte, which makes sense if Scandinavian folk has been a longer-standing passion than black metal for Bruun. The instrumentation is absolutely beautiful and Bruun’s angelic voice fits so perfectly with it, but Folksange is more than just superficially aesthetically gorgeous. The songs (old and original) are written and arranged with such a natural knack for the style that makes it such a serenely enveloping experience that stands as Myrkur’s best work yet. I highly recommend it.

8/10

Old Man Gloom - Seminar IX: Darkness of Being

The famed supergroup’s first of two releases planned for this year after the loss of Caleb Scofield sees them dabbling around in an experimental array of genres that all the members have some sort of significant experience and specialty with. From post-metal of the sludgy, Isis-esque variety to the more noisily esoteric, Sumac-esque variety, to distinctly post-hardcore-influenced stylistic diversions, the band’s wide-reaching sound takes all sorts of twists and turns along their most recent experiment with the members’ varying pedigrees and influences guiding the music on quite the unusual nomadic trek. From the repetitive chord progression of the opening track to the album’s noisy finishing tracks (one of which features what sounds like rocks tumbling down a shaft of some sort for an extensive period of time), the band let their adventurers’ instincts guide them as they wander through their own experiment through the interplay of their members’ various styles. It’s weird, and not super polished, but it’s certainly fixating.

7/10

Candlemass - The Pendulum

After further cementing their relatively unchallenged status as the kings of epic doom metal with The Door to Doom about a year ago, Candlemass have offered up a quick little demo-focused EP with one new fleshed-out song, the title track, which takes them to the faster, more Dio-era-inspires side of their sound with the grand, soaring operatic vocals on the chorus and the relatively fast (by doom standards) guitar rhythms on the verses (think “Paranoid” or “Children of the Grave’). I love the very Dio-esque delivery of the word “fools” at the end too, very fitting. The demo track “Snakes of Goliath” slows it back down to Ozzy-era Sabbath worship in typical Candlemass fashion, the riffs and arrangement pretty respectable for a supposed demo track. The other full-length demo, “Porcelain Skull”, by contrast, does feel much less compositionally fleshed out and more like an actual demo piece. The other three demo tracks are just little instrumental studio doodles that don’t really add anything to the EP. If this EP could be interpreted as any kind of power move, it’s that Candlemass at demo level have just such a sharp compositional intuition for grand Sabbath doom metal and can pretty much nail it in their sleep.

demo-level 7/10

Igorrr - Spirituality and Distortion

I was definitely looking forward to this album big-time after the gloriously unashamed weirdness of 2017’s Savage Sinusoid filled a massive void I felt was needed in my metal bank. By contrast, Spirituality and Distortion is such a reserved project it feels either shy or cowardly from the usually hyper-eccentric band. The greater absence of the vocals of Laurent Lunoir on the album highlight also just how much character he brought to Savage Sinusoid through his zany performances. Without his vocal wildness across the album, the attention on Spirituality and Distortion is then directed to the significantly timid production and electronic finagling that doesn’t measure up to that of Savage Sinusoid.

6/10

In This Moment - Mother

*Sigh* In This Moment is one of those bands who I think really do show a lot of potential but just can’s seem to reach it. They get a lot of unnecessary shit for Maria Brink’s sexy stage presence and generally theatrical aesthetic and live show, but they do have the capacity to produce emotive alt metal ballads like “Whore” and bangers like “Big Bad Wolf” that give some insight into what heights they could potentially reach if they were much more consistent. I was hoping that Mother would be a solid rejuvenation/comeback after the benign disappointment of 2017′s Ritual, and while it’s certainly different, it’s not better. Mother really tries to take on this big, enveloping sound, and biblical, post-apocalyptic feel, and it can sort of carry it for a little bit and be temporarily immersive until the band needs to go full force. When it’s just some fancy eerie atmosphere and Maria Brink’s sultry vocal delivery, it holds up okay, but when the horribly synthetically produced arena-booming instrumentation really comes in and breaks that immersion, you remember that it really is all just trite alt rock whose lofty flair is all a facade.

4/10

Mamaleek - Come and See

Undoubtedly the most wildly experimental album to grace my ears so far this year, I was not expecting such a forceful avant-garde project from Mamaleek so relatively soon after Out of Time, but damn I’m glad I got it! The anonymous brotherly duo have always taken black metal on quite the far-off journey whenever they bring it along on one, ever making it their mission to create something one-of-a-kind with their work, and Come and See has to be their most enthralling album yet. Ramming together the transfixing manic anguish of their blackened experimental noise with the angular dynamism of jazz and even some blues rock in a musical particle collider, Mamaleek have made a truly one-of-a-kind album, and that’s even by their standards. I’ve mentioned before that I tend to like my jazz pretty rowdy and aggressive (like my metal), and the chaos that Mamaleek already generates with their brand of black metal is perfect to trim with and infuse with the angular dissonance of traditional jazz at its more energetically extreme. While the array of chaotic sounds may make Come and See their most intangibly black metal album, the ethos of that root genre pierces through by way of the harshly shrieked vocals just as much as the new jazz elements do. I really might just have to do a full-length review on this one because there is so much going on here that is worth admiring and I can’t stop loving it.

9/10

Phalanx - Golden Horde

This album came out a few months ago and has been making some pretty significant waves on Bandcamp, and for good reason. The relatively young band on their second release ever do showcase a pretty good knack for groove and death metal brutality, balancing slow, thick, tasty groove and blasting death metal without falling into metalcore breakdown clichés or death metal clichés. The three-pronged vocal attack the band touts isn’t quite as dazzling as they might think it is (with the abundance of talented vocalists capable of shapeshifting through a variety of metal vocal techniques), but I do think it would be cool to hear them use that approach with all three vocalists acting more simultaneously to more effectively convey the chaos of the war-related lyrical themes they focus on. Nevertheless, this quarter-hour taster is a great starter for them and definitely worth checking out. Hopefully it’s a foreshadowing of the blossoming of a bright new act for death metal.

7/10

Regarde Les Hommes Tomber - Ascension

I’ve been seeing a lot of praise being thrown this album’s way, and I honestly can’t disagree too much with that it is a pretty damn good album. It is very reminiscent of the Numenorean album Adore that I praised so highly last year. Like Adore, Ascension is an atmospheric black metal album that could easily hook your typical dude who hates Deafheaven and blackgaze and makes a really big deal about it. The band’does well on Ascension to avoid the reliance on generic post-rock guitar reverb ambiance that turns so many people off from blackgaze, working together a lot of unique sonic twists that don’t usually find their way into ambient black metal and channeling direct, cutting, yet humanly vibrant instrumentation that’s backed by raw cries of agony very similar to what Numenorean was doing last year. Perhaps this is the new way forward for atmospheric black metal and blackgaze. If so, Regarde Les Hommes Tomber are doing well to lead the way.

8/10

Deadspace - A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars

I already offered my praises to this album at length with my long-form post dedicated to it, but I’ll give it another shout for its brilliant, bittersweet sending off of the seemingly tireless Australian band. Deadspace give their oppressive/depressive sound the added magnitude and glory offered by choir and orchestral elements with more tact than most bands that use those elements regularly. I really am surprised that the band have decided to split up at such a high point in their artistry and I wish there could be more from them, but I have to respect their decision to end it here, and A Portrait of Sacrificial Scars is a great note to end on.

9/10

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there’s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(

[vapormaison]

2019 Best Press 3/4:  カタカナ・タイトル + Kanji Title by TANUKI

While for many vaporwave vinyl is doubtless equal parts collector’s item and audio source, I don’t want to lose sight of the goal of this blog here: developing a canon of the genre for high fidelity enjoyment. That said, when I come across something remarkable or noteworthy about a particular piece of wax, even if it is not a “purely audiophile” object, I want to make mention of it.

And TANUKI’s カタカナ・タイトル + Kanji Title wax release is not only noteworthy, but contends for hi-fi consideration despite it’s status as a picture disc.

But let’s back up slightly.

Going back to the previous thesis on why we buy records, sometimes you just want to own a vinyl just because. Just because you’re a collector trying to compile a discography on wax — or, better yet, just because you truly love the album art. For me, カタカナ・タイトル + Kanji Title (Double EP) was undoubtedly all of the three “just be-causes”.

A while back, I noticed that the LP was going into its 3rd press, and decided to snap up a copy because I like Tanuki, I like Lum, and because of those other just becauses. Unfortunately the only format available was not the pink vinyl, but the picture disc. As I’m sure is well-known (because audiophiles are very loud about things they dislike), picture-discs are a big no-no in the audiophile community. This is because while a beautiful objet d’art, a serious listening session of a picture disc release will usually produce greater amounts of surface noise than any other type of vinyl. You can, of course, with the right system, neutralize and mitigate this process slightly, but true-blue hi-fi heads pursuing that elusive muse of “pure sound” would never give a picture disc a second look.

I’m not one of those people.

Tangentially, I’ve heard whispers of ghosts of rumors from when I was living in Shenzen, China — that various record suppliers (small batch Makers) are working out manufacturing and material processes that minimize these issues on pic discs to create appealing records that cover all the bases: hi-fi suitability, collector oriented visual esoterica, and price. I should also admit I have no idea where those companies are in terms of R&D and/or producing these. I end up catching a lot of very fast talk from extremely motivated enthusiasts, but Chinese is still as elusive a language to me at times as “pure sound” can be. With that in mind, however, it’s logical to surmise that advances in technology will eventually render the differences between picture discs and traditional black wax undistinguishable. So long as the world isn’t destroyed in some cataclysmic climate disaster (very real possibility), or -- as we are watching evolve now: World War 3. My view is that it’d be pointless to dismiss the format out of hand when there are active attempts to innovate it as we speak.

That all said, I know what to expect when a contemporary, big-label picture disc plays. During my college days, I used to spin wax at the university radio station. One of the previous catalog managers had a fetish for this “collectible” format, and was convinced he was doing the station a favor by purchasing all these vinyls, noting a pre-supposed resale value later. I remember throwing these on the well-worn Technics SP-10 we had as our main turntable, and listening to the occasional scratch, frequent popping, and constant surface noise, that for the uninitiated (bless you), sounds like a sustained “cracking” in your Rice Krispies — or for those born in the analog age, CRTV static.

So when I sat down with the Tanuki picture disc, I had this laundry list of preconceptions and prejudices about the format. I thought that I could listen to a moderately scratchy record once or twice, keep it as more a visual boutique item and then eventually include in an article where I bemoan the poor quality of the genre’s releases.

But then, I actually listened.

And it sounded… well, I won’t get ahead of myself. Here’s the full review:

THE MUSIC

BABYBABYの夢 — is doubtless the reason why many of us have bought the EP from a sonic perspective —especially if the band-camp reviews are indicative of trends. I still maintain that this is the Mariya Takeuchi sample/remix work par excellence. Tanuki hits all the essential notes here, a genuine respect and love for the sound-staging of its original source, Yume No Tsuzuki. I still get echoes of the original arrangement in my system, (ever so slightly) with a bright and dance-infused collection of unique sounds — particularly in that delicious, wide mid-range — that flesh out the track into its own sort of masterpiece.

何がGoin' On — the curatorial and conspiratorial side of my brain tells me that Goin’ On will probably go down as one the under-appreciated vintage bangers of this era of future funk. I can envision hipsters two or three decades from now sussing out a neophyte with pretentious questions about this track’s pitch-shifted sample draws from. It has that sort of vibe that you know hits with a certain subset of electronica fans — rich & vibrant, making the tweeters on your system work out in all the best ways — it’s just great.

がんばれ — Tanuki is at his best when he gets playful with brass samples. I firmly believe that the titans in this genre each have their go-to piece in their best arrangement — like Dan Mason’s creative vocal array, or greyL’s manipulation of micro-samples. For Tanuki, it’s whenever her gets a horn — synthesized or otherwise, into his production workflow.

ファンクOFF — continues Tanuki’s magic act, taking another city pop track more iconic for its soulful electric guitar riff and turning it into the most slap-worthy single on this EP. I prefer it when Japanese pop samples are fundamentally re-imagined, although I can see how the perfectionist tweaking of someone like Yung Bae is more appealing for some. Tanuki is undoubtedly one of the innovators of this genre, and there’s no more solid evidence of that talent than this track.

腕の中でDancin’ — if I ended up hosting a sort of mythical vaporwave grammies or something like that, (I’m available, folks!) I would probably go off on a Ricky Gervais style rant on how artists aren’t in touch with “the people” (read: me) because all we really want are more remixes of Meiko Nakahara songs — who given her impact on City Pop should have way more play in this genre than she does. This one, like most of the Meiko mixes I’ve heard, is a banger with an absolute fire bass riff punctuated throughout.

Radiant Memories — this might be my first certified “hot take” in the publication (they’ll be many more, I imagine) — but as far as I’m concerned this is the superior Plastic Love edit. I’ll just leave my thoughts there, so they can soak in with a portion of the fanbase who split my reddit account on an open fire of downvotes for suggesting that other artists than Macross 82-99 (Praise be upon him!) are allowed to touch this song as well. While Macross’s mix is definitely the more up-temo of the two, and that for some is the very essence of the genre, this slightly down-mixed version is both the perfect conclusion for the EP and ideal antithesis.

THE LISTENING EXPERIENCE

Signal to Raise ratio on the following albums:

カタカナ・タイトル + Kanji Title:  ~61.9db (1 db MoE)

Tron Legacy, Daft Punk:  58.4db

Love Trip, Takako Mamiya, Kitty Records Press: 65.8db

(ratings based on averages 5 minutes of sustained play on the testing unit, the machine actually complied this data on its preset, which is another fascinating part about this sort of vintage press-testing tech). The margin of error is because the machine, according to my mentor Dr. Juuso Ottala formerly of Harman International, informs me it was never meant to give accurate readings of picture discs, and to add about a dB of error margin.

One of the benefits of growing up in New England and, subsequently, New York, is that there are no shortage of heritage professional audio brand HQs in operation around a 200 mile radius from Manhattan to Boston. Off the top of my head, there’s Harman/Kardon, Boston Acoustics, Bose, NuMark, Marantz, and Rane headquarters within an hour’s drive from my two hometowns. Early on in my audiophile quest, I got my hands on some cool vintage gear — vinyl lathe testing equipment that has collected dust in both an old Harman technician’s storage unit, and now my parent’s basement. Over the holiday, I recently brought it out to do some surface noise testing on it to get a rough confirmation of what I was explaining in yesterday’s hi-fi guide. The innards of the machine looks eerily like a plinth-less linear tonearm and plate pair attached to a monitor. After making sure I’m not violating some kind of Harman International trade secret, I’ll post it on instagram.

Wanting to also get a firm idea on just how good my ear-test sounded, I grabbed another picture disc vinyl I had received as a gift a few years ago from my brother — the Tron Legacy OST. While I found the film passably enjoyable, my own preconceptions about pic discs, and a general exhaustion with french house — left me with no discernible desire to spin the thing. I hadn’t even broken the seal on the plastic wrap, so it seemed like as good as a blind test as any. I also grabbed what my ears tell me is a “good”, “heavy” press, a 1982 original dead-stock copy of Takako Mamiya’s Love Trip LP pressed by Kitty Records Japan. I’ve played it maybe a half dozen times since I bought it, so it’s as close to “new” 80s audiophile pop record as you can get. The Japanese are infamously anal about low SNR on their vinyl.

And, well, the results speak for themselves. The sweet spot for most black vinyl records is between 60-70db depending on age, weight, and a host of other frankly uncontrollable factors that aren’t worth getting into detail here, as I’d go on forever. The main takeaway here is that Neoncity’s and Tanuki’s record sat at the low end of the audiophile vinyl reference spectrum. Which in itself is a remarkable achievement for a pic disc. It’s worth taking a look at Tron Legacy, which just barely scratches 8db above a cassette tape, and 7db a Japanese vinyl from 1982.

This is all in an effort to say: damn, this is pretty good.

This also somewhat counters the usual “picture discs sound like shit” narrative that’s prevailed pretty consistently in the audiophile community. Tron Legacy? Yeah, that probably sounds like shit if I could bother to suffer through a listen. But whoever Hong-Kong based Neoncity is using actually makes “good” — if such a qualifier needs to be attached — image-pressed records. And that devotion to audio fidelity should be rewarded.

It might be time for me to re-asses picture discs on the whole, and that mind-expanding moment is something I owe to the fine folks at Neoncity.

[sonicawareness]

The Best Albums of 2019

After listening to more than 2000 new albums in 2019, I’ve narrowed my picks down to The 20 Best Records of 2019.

I’ve included 3 essential songs from each pick, as well as a choice lyrical clip and a brief description of the album.

Noting beats actually LISTENING TO MUSIC! So don’t just read my thoughts: follow and listen to the Spotify playlist containing 60 songs from the top 20 albums:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5TWlfWoo54MQ5cYTMmB0RI?si=M_23L6DDRieVuA845A90Pg

01: Yung Gravy - Sensational

Aptly titled Sensational, this debut full-length is a thirty minute party that dances between the hottest trap beats, well-placed samples, and the young Minnesota rapper’s braggadocious persona and ridiculous raps

Hey Alexa, how many bitches can we fit in the Tesla?...Pull up in that Model X with your model ex!

“Whip a Tesla” • “1 Thot 2 Thot Red Thot Blue Thot” • “The Boys Are Back in Town”

02: TWICE - &TWICE • Feel Special EP • FANCY YOU EP

Nine young South Korean women radiate endless energy, bountiful bliss, and some of the catchiest songs to come out not only in 2019 but recent memory 

Even when things go wrong, feelings out of control: lessons, to be sure. Be okay, all right! Even a crying face is glittering, filter and laugh! You can return to invincibility, right? Blow off, and we havin’ fun! [Translated from original Japanese]

“Fake and True” • “Breakthrough” • “Stronger”

03: Sublime with Rome - Blessings

Frontman, bandleader, multi-instrumentalist, and producer Rome Ramirez delivers his finest record to date: eleven heartfelt reggae-driven songs that are as well-written as they are masterfully recorded and produced

Watching you feel good tonight: it's your song up on the station, and we don't even know no words. I wanna hear you roll your R’s, singing Spanish in the car, “Dime algo hermosa tonight”.

“Wicked Heart” • “Light On” • “For the Night”

04: Bring Me the Horizon - amo 

Cohesive yet genre-spanning (metalcore, hip-hop, electronic, and pop, to name just a few), the sixth album from the English quintet is an emotional yet insightful rollercoaster masterpiece

Before the truth will set you free, it'll piss you off. Before you find a place to be, you're gonna lose the plot. Too late to tell you now, one ear and right out the other one ‘cause all you ever do is chant the same old mantra.

“MANTRA” • “wonderful life” • “i apologise if you feel something”

05: Weezer - Weezer (Black Album)

Expertly produced and instantly memorable, the long-running Rivers Cuomo-driven California quartet is once again in top form, adding yet another fresh and unique — but distinctly Weezer — record to their extensive discography 

Don't get mad at me, I'm just being honest. I should have lied, now you're mad at me? I'm just being honest. How 'bout from now on you'll write the script, I'll read the lines?

“Can’t Knock the Hustle” • “Zombie Bastards” • “Living in L.A.”

06: Big Data - 3.0

Like this sophomore album’s lyrical content — exploration of the impact artificial intelligence will have on humans and on the Earth — the latest project from producer, multi-instrumentalist, and mastermind Alan Wilkis is paradoxically dark yet bright; like AI, this album’s execution is equally flawless and Dangerous

I created a monster, it's out of control, it's going to take me...I didn't know what I was making...But now it's coming, coming for all of us!

“Monster” • “See Through” • “Evolution Once Again”

07: blackbear - ANONYMOUS

Vibrant yet dark, personal yet accessible, the fifth album from Mat Musto is a collection of 18 vulnerable, confessional songs told over slick electronic and hip-hop sounds

You drop the bag and ask me how my weekend was. I love that, though. You laugh when I make stupid jokes, and when I went to rehab, you didn't judge me that bad. I struggle with addiction probs, you always got my back. What am I gonna do the day that my drug dealer moves away? Whatever am I gonna say to my new plug? It just ain't the same.

“DOWN” • “HATE MY GUTS” • “DRUG DEALER”

08: Denzel Curry - ZUU

Hit-after-hit of hip-hop bangers pack this album’s half-hour runtime, with a plethora of guests joining the fray but never quite knocking it out like the young Miami native, Denzel Curry 

First they mockin', now they hoppin', all on the wave, 'cause they see me poppin'. Big-big-big large pockets, they start flockin'. Here's what I say when they ass keep knockin'...

“RICKY” • “BIRDZ” • “ZUU”

09: DaBaby - KIRK / Baby on Baby

On his two 2019 albums, his first proper efforts after countless mixtapes and singles, DaBaby unleashes his signature, incessant vocals over relentless trap and modern hip-hop beats

Prolly heard I was broke from a broke nigga, prolly heard I'm a ho from a ho! I don't know what you know, I ain't runnin' from no nigga, let’s go!

“BOP” • “OFF THE RIP” • “Suge”

10: Bayside - Interrobang

On their eighth album, the Anthony Raneri-fronted New York natives sound refreshed, focused, and tighter than ever telling their trademark tales of heartbreak and healing

I love that music saved you, and Lord knows it’s saved me too, but songs never love you back, and you never know the person preaching to you...

“Interrobang” • “Prayers” • “Bury Me”

11: The Hold Steady - Thrashing Thru The Passion

Few frontmen can weave an album’s worth of compelling narratives, yet the Brooklyn band’s Craig Finn finds himself on the seventh The Hold Steady album once again delivering ten more engaging, interlocked tales over his band’s fierce guitar riffs and all-too-catchy choruses

Thanks for listening, thanks for understanding: tequila takeoff, Tecate landing.

“Entitlement Crew” • “Denver Haircut” • “You Did Good Kid”

12: Electric Guest - KIN

Sugary sweet, the third record from the California duo promptly polishes any rough few rough edges they once had to deliver a perfectly slick yet quirkily heartwarming collection of eleven easy-listening songs

I'm like, “this mothafucka might sue me, and that mothafucka might boo me”. I'ma keep on goin' to a better day, all this other bitterness can fade away.

“Dollar” • “I Got the Money” • “More”

13: Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

Part punk energy without sounding even slightly punk, part emo diary without being a dashboard confessional, the debut record from American teenager Billie Eilish craftily bounces between genres, haunting sounds, and strange stories

If you think I’m pretty, you should see me in a crown. I'm gonna run this nothing town. Watch me make 'em bow one by one by one.

“bad guy” • “my strange addiction” • “you should see me in a crown”

14: The Cat Empire - Stolen Diamonds

The eighth album from Australia’s The Cat Empire is a full-blown dance party packed with catchy, clever songwriting and a room full of drums, horns, strings, keyboards, turntables, and bass

Operator, please, I can’t get out my head. Tell me where I’m going or where I’m being led. Tell me like an order, and order I’ll obey. Maybe I just thought you said, or did I did I hear you say, “We’re going to ([kill a man]) Kilaman-jaro, jaro…”

“KIla” • “Stolen Diamonds” • “Ready Now”

15: Dirty Heads - Super Moon

Co-frontmen Dirty J and Duddy B return to the beach for the seventh Dirty Heads album, borrowing sounds from across their entire discography of acoustic guitars and witty hip-hop to craft a surprisingly delicate record

I'm a flame, I'm a beacon that won't go out. In the dark, in the rain, I'm your lighthouse. When you can't stand the pain, hope you know now, I'll keep you safe, I'm your lighthouse.

“Super Moon” • “Lift Me Up” • “Tender Boy”

16: TENDER - Fear of Falling Asleep

Dark and uninviting, the second album from this London duo is an intimidating but rewarding listen delicately spiced with just enough hooks to keep you trapped in its atmospheric dreams 

I’ll be looking for the scent when it goes cold. I’ve been trying to beat the maze with a blindfold on. I’ve been foraging through mud and sticks searching for that power that don’t exist.

“Closer Still” • “Bottled Up” • “Handmade Ego”

17: Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind / Supermarket Soundtrack

Logic returns once again with countless rhymes delivered over his trademark breathless bars, frequently painting an all-too-vivid picture of a famous rapper struggling to comprehend the world around him

All these comments got me lost in my mind; all these thoughts that I'm having are not mine. I always post that I'm having a good time so my life looks perfect online...

“Homicide” • “Don’t Be Afraid to Be Different” • “Lemon Drop”

18: Tyga - Legendary

More than just a collection of hits, the seventh album from the Compton rapper is well-sequenced and effortlessly laced with hook-after-hook for Tyga to deliver his signature obscene lines about things he self-admittedly has too many [sic] of: money, cash, hoes, cars, clothes, flows

Hey, shut the fuck up, bitch, you know who I are. Point blank range, and I'm shootin' for the stars. You niggas subpar and I just raised the bar. You got Rollies on your wrist, this is Chopard. Slide on your block like a fuckin' go-kart, my nigga A&R, still got an AR.

“Haute” • “Lightskin Little Wayne” • “On Me”

19: The Chainsmokers - World War Joy

The third album in three years from Alex Pall and Drew Taggart (and no shortage of guests) is an easy, light collection of ten slick relationship-focused pop songs that find the duo largely eschewing their dance-centric history 

You said, "Hey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life?" and I said, "I don't even know what I'm doing tonight". Went from one conversation to your lips on mine.

“The Reaper” • “Family” • “P.S. I Hope You’re Happy”

20: Bear Hands - Fake Tunes

Brooklyn’s Bear Hands returns with another collection of bright, bouncy songs that ever-so-slightly conceal the trio’s underlying sadness and struggles  

I don't see how you think you can come to me, and bitch to me, lay out your problems, like ancient history, like I ain't got no other shit to do. I love you, baby, but my lips are turnin' blue.

“Blue Lips” • “Back Seat Driver (Spirit Guide)” • “Mr. Radioactive”

THE BEST ALBUMS OF 2019

Yung Gravy - Sensational

TWICE - &TWICE • Feel Special EP • FANCY YOU EP

Sublime with Rome - Blessings

Bring Me the Horizon - amo 

Weezer - Weezer (Black Album)

Big Data - 3.0

blackbear - ANONYMOUS

Denzel Curry - ZUU

DaBaby - KIRK / Baby on Baby

Bayside - Interrobang

The Hold Steady - Thrashing Thru The Passion

Electric Guest - KIN

Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

The Cat Empire - Stolen Diamonds

Dirty Heads - Super Moon

TENDER - Fear of Falling Asleep

Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind / Supermarket Soundtrack

Tyga - Legendary

The Chainsmokers - World War Joy

Bear Hands - Fake Tunes

[maplestreetsims]

get to know me tag!

so, i came to catfish you all with my updated simself, also i made her with alpha cc bc why not?

I saw @galaxsims did this and i thought it might be fun, so the point of this is to make a simself and answer some q’s so people get to know you better

I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do this, Just go crazy 

   - trash under cut -

1. What is your full name? Constanza

2. What is your nickname? most people call me coti, i had a few friends that called me constance tho

3. Birthday? July 1, 2000

4. What is your favorite book series? i dont read as much as i used to so i dont have one

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens yes, ghosts...maybe? just for the spookines of it all tbh

6. Who is your favorite author? i dont read dont come for me

7. What is your favorite radio station? i never listen to the radio, mostly spotify

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? anything cheese flavored, or like pizza? idk im thinkin chips here

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? amazing, cool!

10. What is your current favorite song? literally queens entire discography??? like i saw bohemian rhapsody last week, i liked queen before but now im like on hyperdrive or something

11. What is your favorite word?  chaos

12. What was the last song you listened to? Somebody to love, by (you guessed it) queen

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? hmm... i dont know, skam, maybe freaks and geeks

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? pride (2014) always makes me feel happy when i watch it, i really like it

15. Do you play video games? yes

16. What is your biggest fear? Ending up alone, but not romantically, more of like no friends, or family

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i dont know... i just try to be a good person?? like i put myself in others peoples shoes and treat them how i would like to be treated i guess, bc i know how its like being treated like shit and i wouldnt want that for anyone lol

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my socializing skills? or lack thereof 

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? i like them both the same

20. What is your favorite season? i dont like any season sjdjsdk

21. Are you in a relationship? nope

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? just.. happiness?? not only my own but like everyone in my family (yikes) also my innocence 

23. Who is your best friend? haha ha

24. What is your eye color? brown

25. What is your hair color? Dark brown 

26. Who is someone you love? no one honestly, maybe my pets?

27. Who is someone you trust? literally anyone who is nice to me, that’s bad

28. Who is someone you think about often? my friends, classmates

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? nothing currently

30. What is your biggest obsession? The sims, life is strange and detroit become human.....also queen?, weird combinations

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Art attack! also the cocodrile hunter??? that was my shit!!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? I know i just said i trust everyone but like....i dont open up, like ever

33. Are you superstitious? No

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators?? and cars...are those phobias?

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind

36. What is your favorite hobby? Editing, playin sims... u know

37. What was the last book you read? I cant remember fghjkljhg probably something for school

38. What was the last movie you watched? Bohemian rhapsody rip

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? i wish i could play any musical instrument, but i suck tbh

40. What is your favorite animal? cats and dogs™

41. What are your top 5 7 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

@pollinationqueen​ @cosmic-espie​ @omiscanking @bloomlet @gunthermunch @cowberrys and @mellocakes ♥♥

42. What superpower do you wish you had? telekinesis??? um hell yeah why would anyone want anything else

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? this is weird but when im riding the bus home, listening to music

44. What makes you smile? my simblr, youtube videos...

45. What sports do you play, if any? i wish

46. What is your favorite drink? coca cola beech! 

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? I dont even remember, but i had to write something like that around this year at least

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? it used to be hearing people chew, but i think im over it

50. Have you ever been to a concert? no, never

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? No

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? idk sis

54. What is something you worry about? my future, and my life

55. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes

56. Do you like to sing? yes, only when im alone

57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah, but i tried not to, it felt like i was missing out and that kinda made me feel like shit??

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dont think i have one, but more like a bunch of them? and only at specific times if that make sense, like the outside of that theater at nightime when i went to see a play with my friends a while ago

59. Where would you like to live? mmm maybe the usa? or anywhere where i could get to speak english all the time

60. Do you have any pets? a cat and a dog, Mercury and Candy!

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, def

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets, im never up for sunrises anyways, unless i stayed up all night

63. Do you know how to drive? no but i hope that i do at some point, although im scared of cars

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones

65. Have you ever had braces? nope, my teeth are as straight as me

66. What is your favorite genre of music? rock, indie...maybe pop rock?

67. Who is your hero? i dont have one

68. Do you read comic books? not really

69. What makes you the most angry? myself sometimes

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book all the way, when i do read that is

71. What was your favorite subject in school? cinematography class???? idk how it translates properly but that was my fave, although the teacher fucking ruined it for all of us tbh

72. Do you have any siblings? nope

73. What was the last thing you bought? a bus ticket

74. How tall are you? 4′9...yikes

75. Can you cook? not at all

76. What are three things that you love? this blog, my family and my pets

77. What are three things that you hate? hooo boy

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? i have 0 friends what does that mean? jk i actually would say its pretty equal 

79. What is your sexual orientation? yes

80. Where do you currently live? Uruguay, montevideo

81. Who was the last person you texted? my dad

82. When was the last time you cried? last week

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? jenna and julien, and probably every sims youtuber(seriously)

84. Do you like to take selfies? not so much

85. What is your favorite app? tumblr, or youtube

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? its alright

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? portugeese

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? mmm all of them

89. What is your favorite number? 7

90. Can you juggle? Nop

91. Are you religious? no

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? The ocean

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? hahah no

94. Are you allergic to anything? i used to be allergic to a bunch of shit when i was a kid but im not allergic to it anymore?? like chocolate, oranges....cats, and dust

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? always hopefully

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? i dont really ask for advice that often so...idk

100. Are you a good liar? No, but i try

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff

102. Do you talk to yourself? i used to talk to myself all the time, but now i barely do it, thats a good thing right?

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no, i used to when i was a kid but it was pure garbage

105. Do you believe in second chances? Depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? look for an id to see if i cant turn it in, if not....well

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes, but only in certain things

108. Are you ticklish? i dont even know, probably not

109. Have you ever been on a plane? no

110. Do you have any piercings? yeah, my ears

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? idk

112. Do you have any tattoos? No, but hopefully i will some day!

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? i dont know....

114. Do you believe in karma? yeah

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no

116. Do you want children? yeah why not

117. Who is the smartest person you know? honestly i don’t know

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? doing a cindirella theatre play for my school when i was 12, i was cindirella, i dont wanna talk about it njxkcfxf

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? not that i remember, i always end up falling asleep, dosent matter if its like 10 minutes 

120. What color are most of you clothes? green.........i dont even like green

121. Do you like adventures? yeah maybe, depends on what it is

122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah i have actually lmao, it was on a kids tv show 

123. How old are you? 18

124. What is your favorite quote? “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents” 

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory!!

[batsysims]

didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference

anyways

i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry

get to know me tag

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

3. BIRTHDAY? september 15

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES?  what?? are books

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years 

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY?  its not really,, a sport,, but i bike

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e

75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet

[girlsbtrs]

My Ladybird Moment (Significant Songs in Life)

Written by Mary Ragheb. Graphic by James N. Grey. 

(First of all I wanna give the credit for this title to Pablo, that was all their idea and honestly it works perfectly.)

I know I’m not alone when I say that music has carried me through my whole life - whether that was me singing along with the Jonas Brothers in my best friend’s bedroom in elementary school or staring up at the ceiling blasting My Chemical Romance through my headphones in true emo-kid fashion. But I have always had a weird sensitivity to sound. It could be the ADHD talking but hear me out. Songs for me are ultimately almost always attached to some specific memory or feeling, so much so that I don’t think there’s an album in existence that I haven’t cried to at least once. 

So I guess this is my ladybird moment/a playlist of my life???? 

Let’s start with artists and then we’ll get into songs. This is important because I’m starting with literal baby steps here. 

Firstly, there’s Umm Kulthum, one of the most decorated and well-known Egyptian singers ever. I spent much of my childhood listening to her sing on cassettes that my parents brought back from Egypt. Obviously I didn’t know how popular she was when I was a child, but even when I catch my dad listening to her in his little home office, I feel a sense of innocent comfort - almost like when my mom used to wrap a blanket around me on our yearly road trips to New Jersey. 

Second of all, I have to give an honorable mention to both the Jonas Brothers and One Direction. I mentioned the JoBros earlier, and I know I’m not alone in how much their music brought us joy as kids. My family couldn’t afford to get us iPods, so I spent a lot of time at friends’ houses listening to them on their older sisters’ CD players or flip phones. You remember those swivel-y ones that had a trackpad like an iPod? Yeah those. (Also don’t talk to me if your favorite brother wasn’t Joe. I will die on this hill.) Now One Direction. I wish I was kidding when I say that my first concert was seeing them OPEN for Big Time Rush in 2011. I think that’s the biggest flex I hold to this day. While I cringe at old pictures of me clad in clothes with the British flag all over them, they were honestly my introduction to fandom culture. 

Third, let's get into emo baby. I started high school in a whole new country, which to say the least was a difficult adjustment. Kids can be cruel and that’s true no matter where you are, but by 13 and after being the new kid 4 times up to that point; you kinda become a target. And as cliche as it is, it’s what drove me to fall down a hole of Mayday Parade, Paramore and (drum roll please) - yep, you guessed it, All Time Low. Everyone who knows me knows that I love this band with my whole being. Now, there are a slew of reasons as to why. Obviously Therapy is one of them because my god I still cannot listen to that song without crying. Don’t Panic also came out when me and my family flew back to Boston after living abroad for a year. I remember driving through our old neighborhood while Outlines blasted through my headphones - ironically saying “I’m half remembered halfway across the world, twice removed from my second home.” But above all the intricate stories and lyrics that Alex has written over the years, ultimately they are the reason I met one of my best friends. That seems to be a common theme with me. I’ve taken it as the universe telling me to never stop listening to music. Like, ever. 

Finally, let’s all get ready to give the greatest round of applause for my college introduction into K-Pop. To be honest, I blame Halsey for this. I have loved her since I heard Room 93 (and realized I was not straight, thanks Ashley), and I can pretty much recite every album she has front to back. So when I saw them work with BTS I figured, “okay, I guess I can get on board with this.” The best way I can describe it is that Simpsons meme where the kid goes “haha I’m in danger.” K-Pop fans have this theory that your “comfort group” comes to you when you’re ready and I don’t know how they hit the nail on the head but they’re not wrong. I didn’t have an ideal college experience whatsoever, I had a lot of trouble making friends because I honestly didn’t talk to anyone (my own fault, I know). And yet somehow when I started listening to BTS, I made a whole community of friends on the internet and ended up meeting two of my best friends who just happened to walk into my job. If anyone has an existential explanation for all this please let me know before I go ask Namjoon myself. 

Okay now that we’ve finished that, let’s get into songs. These are in no particular order, but I guess a common theme that I can attribute to them is power. Not to sound like a tyrant or anything; power to me comes in all forms. The power of love, strength, dominance, and happiness. 

Is There Somewhere by Halsey (Room 93)

When I say I feel like I’ve grown up alongside Halsey, I’m not kidding. Not only was this song the prelude to my coming out, but seeing her artistry develop since 2015 has made me feel like a greater part of something. Too cheesy? Ok moving on. 

Jasey Rae by All Time Low (Put Up or Shut Up)

This isn’t going to be the only All Time Low song on this list for sure, but it is one of my absolute favorites. If the last chance I got to hear it live was at the 10 year So Wrong It’s Right Anniversary in 2017, then I can die content. I maintain that All Time Low don’t have a bad song in their discography, but Put Up or Shut Up is such a big comfort album for me that I still get the same tingles that I felt when I listened to it at 15. 

Don’t Lean on Me by The Amity Affliction (Let the Ocean Take Me)

The Amity Affliction is another one of those bands that marks a really crucial point in my life when I had to reconcile with my mental health. Not to get super emo or anything, but having every single emotion and painful feeling laid out (or screamed out, thank you Joel) soothes the numbness that I had accepted for my pain. Honestly, you could put this song on and I would still scream “LET THE OCEAN TAKE ME” at the top of my lungs like I did at Warped Tour in 2018. 

Going to Hell by The Pretty Reckless (Going to Hell)

I’m sure having The Pretty Reckless on this list surprises absolutely noone, but I really think that this album threw me into full blown feminist rage. I have never been one to dilute my feminism to make men more comfortable, but after seeing Taylor Momsen clad in leather singing in front of a band of all guys and commanding all the attention in the room (not to mention her VOICE) - I just wanted to be as badass and confident as her. 

Breed by Nirvana (Nevermind)

Is anyone surprised that Nirvana also made the list? Another moment of feminist rage. Have you ever had a guy interrogate you about a band or show or literally anything that non-men enjoy because he thinks there is no way you could possibly REALLY enjoy it? Yeah, I got that a lot in high school. And still now as a grown ass woman but that’s not the point here. I watched a lot of music documentaries during my last two years of high school, mainly about the 80’s and 90’s and the evolution of grunge, hence fueling my love for documentaries even more. And as always, girls cannot seem to like anything without being scrutinized for it so my interest in Nirvana was met with a lot of “yeah but you don’t actually listen to them right?” So it seemed appropriate for my response to that to be to latch onto a song that literally starts with “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.”

Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore (Brand New Eyes)

Paramore also comes as no surprise here since I profess my love for miss Hayley on a daily basis. I could have picked any song from Paramore’s discography; they are the ultimate encompassment of comfort and happiness. But Brick by Boring Brick made (and still does make) me feel like running through a field in the rain wearing a torn up down and screaming at the top of my lungs. 

Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low (So Wrong, It’s Right)

Ah yes, the song that shoots serotonin straight through my veins. The first time I ever saw All Time Low, I was lucky enough to be able to photograph them. And even with a camera strapped to my side, I did not hesitate to jump up and crowdsurf the second the show was coming to an end. I’ve flown to Florida, California, Arizona, and New Jersey and every single time Dear Maria comes on something just takes over the crowd. It’s one of the few times I have seriously felt like family around a bunch of complete strangers. Even when I lost my earring, got dropped straight on my back and passed around the same water bottle across like 50 people. (pre-COVID huh?) I think my favorite Dear Maria memory had to be the last All Time Low concert I went to in December 2020. I was crowdsurfing at the same time another girl got thrown up, and to make sure we didn’t crash into each other we instinctively reached for each other and held hands until we were both over the barricade. I don’t think any moment in live music has felt more precious to me than that. (Also the fact that everyone pointed out that it sounds like an anime intro just makes it even more fitting.)

Magic Shop by BTS (Love Yourself: Answer)

When I say that BTS inject love into their music, I mean this song in particular. After Map of the Soul: Persona came out in 2019, I spent the following weeks listening to their entire discography all the way back to 2013. As soon as Magic Shop came on, I burst into tears before I even got a chance to read the translation (I cried more after I read the translation too.) BTS have perfected the concept of a comfort song and Magic Shop is the perfect example of it. It feels as if for 4 minutes and 36 seconds, you are safe. Honestly though, I could probably throw every single BTS song into this list. They have brought me peace, reassurance, friendships and genuine happiness during a time that I least expected, but needed it the most. 

[izuku-midoryias-blog]

Chapter 1: Drown

"What are you getting at, Mom?" I asked, currently on the phone with my mother. She had actually called to talk to Mykal, my older brother, as well as see how Lucii, my niece, was doing, but Mykal made us both talk and I was pretty much being told to take a hike. "You know exactly what I'm getting at, Rayne; you are always in trouble, even if it is just with your father and me. I do not want you around my son and granddaughter. You need to find somewhere else to live," my mom stated bluntly. "Yeah, okay. Fuck you too bitch!" I shouted, hanging up the phone. I would have thrown it, but it was my brother's cell. I sighed, sitting Mykal's phone on the table, as he walks back into the living room, after putting Lucii in bed. "Hey, Myk, Luce ready for me to tuck her in?" I asked my brother, while he was eyeing me, as if he was asking for answers to what had went on. "Yep, she sure is, started saying Aunty as soon as I stepped foot into her room," Mykal stated, nodding his head. I smiled, 'If mother thinks I'm going stay away from my niece, that bitch is sorely mistaken.' I thought to myself, walking into Lucii's room. "Alright, Miss Miss, its time for Aunty to read you a story and then tuck you in," I said smiling, while picking up Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss & Goldilocks and the Three Bears by I have no earthly idea! Lucii picks Goldilocks and the Three Bears, as usual. I read her book to her, turn on her little iPod (which has Black Veil Brides entire discography on it), tuck her in and leave the room. As I walk back into the kitchen, Mykal was sitting at the table, waiting for me to come back and make my evening snack, fried pickles and onions. "So, what did mom say to you?" He asks me as I get out the ingredients to fry some pickles and onions. "She basically kicked me out and fold me to stay away from you and Lucii," I stated, answering his question as I battered the onion sliced. "Why in the hell would she say that?" "Because, up until recently, I was literally always in trouble, even if it was just with mom and dad. Oh! Excuse me, John and Kait, as I'm not allowed to call them mom and dad," I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pulled my onions and pickles out of the grease. "Kait is just a bitch as it is," Mykal stated, laughing. "She can't kick you out. She isn't paying my bills and you're helping me out by watching Lucii. Besides, you've promised me you would stay out of trouble, because if you don't you know you would be on the streets and you wouldn't be able to see Lucii." I nodded my head, agreeing with my brother. My birthday is coming up soon, so I spent most of my free time trying to figure out what my brother was getting me. I heard that my favorite band, Falling in Reverse, was coming to town, my hometown! I sat there, cheesing, while fangirling internally. "What are you grinning about, Rayne?" Mykal asked, waving his hand in front of my face, bringing me from my thoughts. "Oh! I saw, somewhere that Falling in Reverse is coming here to Janesville!" I said excitedly. Mykal rolls his eyes, "I'm going to bed, and you should get some shut-eye yourself. Oh, and, Rayne, don't worry about Kait you aren't going anywhere. Got it?" I half smiled at my big brother "Got it! Thanks, bub." I finish my snack, do my dishes and head to bed. I lay in bed, on top of the blanket, just staring at the ceiling. Thoughts from my mother's conversation and mine are ringing in my mind, seeming to echo, driving me mad. 'You're always in trouble! Always in trouble! Always in trouble! Stay away from my son and granddaughter. My son and granddaughter. My son and granddaughter.' I groan and cover my face, with my pillow, hoping to drown out my thoughts. I lay there for five to ten minutes, my thoughts now starting to scream at me. I sigh and roll off my bed, throwing my pillow back to my bed. Walking over to my closet, I am now arguing with myself on whether I should do what I'm about to do or not. 'Mykal wouldn't mind as long as it doesn't get excessive.' 'It doesn't matter! You haven't touched any since you ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning 9 years ago! Don't do it, Rayne, you'll go back to your old ways and then you'll end up on the streets!' I argue with myself for an hour or two, my sober side almost winning. Almost. I open my closet door, turn on the light and walk into the back, opening a secret compartment in the wall. I sit and stare at my big bottle of Southern Comfort, before eventually taking the bottle out, along with a shot glass. I pour myself a shot of my SOCO and take a shot with nothing to chase it. The liquor slides down my throat, burning all the way down, it had never tasted so good in my life. I sit there for a little bit, happy with my decision. Putting up the bottle and shot glass, I get up and leave the closet, feeling satisfied. The feeling of satisfaction doesn't last long, though, after about 10-15 minutes, my thoughts started flooding back, but louder than before. 'You are always in trouble! Stay away from my son and granddaughter! You are always in trouble, Rayne, are you ever going to quit?' I sigh and sit up against my closet door, trying not to think. Everyday I fight my urges to do what I quit doing when I moved in with Mykal right after I turned 18. Mykal thought going to a group therapy for "troubled teens" would help me fight the urges and quit, but it actually almost landed my ass in jail. One of the people in therapy, Jacob, had barely been theft free, like it was only a couple days, if that, since he had stolen anything. Anyway, Jacob had told everyone about the last time he had stolen, since Emmanuel, the group therapist, had asked him. Apparently, Jacob's last time stealing was him boosting someone's vehicle, a blue 1973 Chevrolet Camaro SS with a 350 big block, of course, as he was telling us about the car he boosted, he was grinning, like he could still feel the rush from stealing. The real interesting thing was that was my first and last trip to group therapy. Right after Emmanuel released us from group, I was outside, trying to unlock a beautiful black 1960 Dodge Charger RT, without any tools and without having to break any of the windows. As I was fighting to unlock the car, the owner came out. I got lucky, the owner was Emmanuel. Emmanuel said that he would not press charges and he won't say anything to my big brother, as long as I didn't come back to group, as it was obvious group didn't help just a little bit, as it should on the first visit. - My thoughts were pretty loud, 'Rayne, why are you always in trouble? You are nothing but trouble! Maybe I should stay away from Lucii and Mykal, if I don't, there could be a possibility that I could cause Mykal to have Lucii taken away.' I retrieve the hidden bottle of liquor & shot glass and pour myself another shot. "Why do I have to be the one my parents never seem to claim when I get in trouble?" I question to myself out loud, "I wonder if I was adopted. I never seem to look like John and Kait." I never hear anyone talk about similarities between Mykal and I. Actually, I always heard people talk about how Mykal and I looked so different from each other. I always heard people ask if I was adopted, but I never managed to hear John and Kait's answer. I pick up the bottle, tipping it back, managing to drink up to about half of the bottle, before needing air. I lay there thinking about all the times I got in trouble and was brought home by the cops, all the times I got screamed at by John and Kait for coming home in a cop car, for getting kicked out of school (I was beating up the bullies, but the principal was a bitch and just didn't care) and for not doing anything the right way John and Kait wanted me to do whatever it was they wanted.

[hermitologist]

My 17 Favorite Records of 2017

Hello, Internet. Yet another year has passed, and because I’ve made a habit of making year-end lists, this old man has gone and done it again.

I listened to a veritable buttload of music this year on my morning runs, which I decided to post about on Instagram most days in a concerted effort to keep myself accountable bore every last one of my followers to death. I think it’s working.

What follows, is my list of favorites. Not “best”. “Favorite”. *My* favorite. So, spare me the “Your list sucks. WTF. I can’t believe “A Vest For Jerome” by Turd Circus isn’t on there!” comments. I’m sorry we don’t have the exact same taste in music. :)

As usual, I feel like the top 5 or 6 here are pretty carved in stone, but the last 12 and some of the honorable mentions could totally be flip-flopped depending on which side of the bed I woke up on. I actually fiddled with a few spots five minutes before posting this, which is either a testament to that or Exhibit 4,923 in my undiagnosed OCD case.

Anyways ... TL;DR. Here’s what I was into this year. I hope you find something you enjoy.

IMPORTANT: Please let me know what I might missed out on (as I’m sure there’s a ton of it), and share some of your favorites in the comments below. Thanks!

17) Japandroids - Near To The Wild Heart Of Life

This didn’t quite grab me the way Celebration Rock did, but it’s got a good number of super infectious earworms that got stuck in my brain at the top of the year. 

Listen here.

16) Sorority Noise - You’re Not As ____ You Think

Excellent “emo”with that feels like it could very easily fit into Brand New’s discography (and I mean that in a very complimentary way). Highly recommended if you’re looking for something to fill that void. 

Listen here. 

15) Queens of the Stone Age - Villains

This took a little while for this record to sink its teeth into me, but once it did, it didn’t let go. The arrangements are so nuanced that I’ve found little bits of ear candy each time I’ve listened to it, and while the mix is not my favorite, the songs are so brilliantly catchy and drumming so monstrous, I’m hooked. And Jon Theodore is the best drummer on Earth. That’s not debatable either. It’s fact.

Listen here.

14) David Bazan - Care

It’s no secret that I’m a sucker for anything and everything Bazan. His lyrics and the timbre of his voice cut to my core, and the songs on Care are no exception -- even when they’re delivered over minimalist electronica (which is not my favorite vehicle by any stretch). Another Bazan masterpiece.

Listen here.

13) Glassjaw - Material Control

This record is perfect in that it is exactly what it needs to be. It’s Glassjaw doing what they do best -- intense, vibey, groovy, heavy post-hardcore that is a logical follow-up to Worship & Tribute, while flexing and pushing enough to make it feel fresh. A tremendous return to form, and a record that was well worth the wait.

Listen here.

12) Julien Baker - Turn Out The Lights 

Sprained Ankle blew me away and knocked me on my ass, and somehow, some way, Baker has leveled up and topped that. The stripped-down “artist + guitar” intimacy is still there, but the heavy moments hit even harder because of the additional orchestration on this record. Such a promising future for her.

Listen here.

11) The Life & Times - S/T

Another excellent record from some of one of Kansas City’s best bands. There are few who do airy, melancholic, spacey, dynamic rock better than these guys. And Chris Metcalf is one of the best drummers on the planet right now -- so pockety, tasteful, and effortless. Highly recommended if you dig Failure, Shiner, Hum, Antenna-era Cave In, et al. 

Listen here.

10) METZ - Strange Peace

This beast is 36 minutes of noisy, nasty, heavy post-punk with stellar guitar and bass tones, and badass drumming that sounds like the best parts of Nirvana and Young Widows had a perfect lovechild. I dare you to listen to this record and not have an overwhelming urge to play it as loud as you possibly can and headbang until your eyes fall out of your skull.

Listen here.

9) CHON - Homey

I really enjoyed this when it came out, but it wasn’t until we spent five weeks on tour with them and got to see them shred a handful of these songs on a nightly basis that it really grabbed ahold of me. This record is stellar. Sure there are a ton of notes, but they’re all tasteful, never bogged down in painfully long prog opuses, and there’s so much feel here ... which is so rare in the new world of insanely chopped, gridded and sampled prog. The splashes of hip-hop and glitchy Prefuse 73 style electronica are a killer addition to the mix as well. This is the feel good record of the year for me.

Listen here.

8) Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.

There really isn’t another rapper who holds a candle to Kendrick at the moment, and this might be the best work of his career. I haven’t had a hip-hop record hit me like this in at least a decade. I was hooked from the second the beat dropped in DNA., got roped in even more by the slow jam LOVE., and HUMBLE. sealed the deal. What a beast.

Listen here.

7) Cloud Nothings - Life Without Sound

This record rules, but I’m not sure I can put my finger on exactly why I like it so much. It’s got tiny elements of so many bands I love or used to love without being overly referential. It’s got a melancholic vibe but never lacks energy. And it is packed with really, really well written and catchy songs without full-blown pop circus. You know you’re listening to a great record when you’re playing a deep cut and uncontrollably blurt, “Fuck, this song is good.” 

Listen here.

6) Converge - The Dusk In Us

Nobody does it better than these dudes, and it’s been that way for the better part of two decades. The Dusk In Us is yet another record a discography full of bar-setting hardcore/metal/noise records that elevate the ceiling of the genre and make everyone else sound/look bland in comparison. This one slides right into the #3 or #4 spot in that storied discography. So great.

Listen here.

5) Manchester Orchestra - A Black Mile To The Surface

This is one of those rare records that blows you away on first listen, and gets better with each subsequent listen. The former happens when the songs --stripped to their bones -- are stellar, and the latter happens when the arrangements and mix are somehow even more stellar. ABMTTS checks the shit outta both of those boxes and then some. Aaaand it was made with multiple producers, but doesn’t sound disjointed in the slightest, which seems damn near impossible. It’s the perfect Manchester Orchestra record ... “The Gold” was stuck pleasantly in my head for a majority of the year.  

Listen here.

4) Pile - A Hairshirt Of Purpose

Disclaimer: I am a late adopter of the majesty of Pile, but I am happy to announce that I am hopelessly hooked on their soulful, noisy, schizophrenic, (occasionally) dreamy, fusion of post-punk, blues, and all sorts of other good things. My entry point was Dripping, but A Hairshirt ... cemented my love for this band. It’s weird, it’s beautiful, it’s energetic, it’s heavy, it’s ethereal, and the musicianship is frustratingly good. If you know, you know ... if you don’t, just trust me. Spin it with an open mind and meet one of your new favorite bands.

Listen here.

3) Propagandhi - Victory Lap

I grew up on Epitaph and Fat Wreck Chords punk rock in the 90s, and these guys (and gal) are legitimately the only band of that era that continue to excite and inspire me. I look forward to every release, and they manage to deliver every. single. time. It’s not a nostalgia thing with Propagandhi. Chris Hannah’s lyrics, melodies, and guitar playing continue to push the boundaries of what can be done in that genre. You might expect a group of 40-year-old punks to decline or at least plateau, but they’re still on an upward trajectory and it’s  inspiring as hell. Bonus points if you’re a parent and can listen to “Adventures In Zoochosis” without tearing up. Victory Lap is outstanding -- one of their three best records without question. 

Listen here.

2) Cloakroom - Time Well

If you’ve been following me here, on Twitter, or Instagram, it’s no secret that I’ve got a massive soft spot in my heart for bummer jams -- especially bummer jams of the heavy variety. Time Well is a damn near perfect in those regards. It’s shoegazey without being tired or overly jangly, mildly doomy without being mind-numbingly boring, and fuzzy without sounding like it was recorded inside a sleeping bag. I’m pretty sure I listened to this record more than anything else this year, and after probably a hundred spins, it hasn’t lost any of its luster. It’s outstanding (and it’s got some damn tasty drumming on it too).

Listen here.  

1) Elder - Reflections Of A Floating World

My buddy Scott Evans (Kowloon Walled City vocalist/guitarist, Antisleep recording engineer/producer, multi-talented human, generally outstanding dude, recommender of many amazing bands) turned me on to these guys earlier this year by sharing 2015′s Lore with me. That record f-ing floored me. Riffs for days. Heaviness. Prog vibes. Stoner rock goodness. Dynamics. Space. Sabbath-y vocals. It checked all of the boxes. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to hear Reflections Of A Floating World. 

ROAFW dropped in June, and it’s even better than I could have imagined. I’d wager that there are more sick riffs on this record than your favorite band has in their entire discography. I dare you to listen to this and not get a twitch to start a play air guitar. Also: How the shit do you write 15-minute songs that don’t bore people into catatonia? This is how. Just like this. Parts never drag, parts never feel like they’re just filler, and there isn’t a wasted moment in 64 minutes of music. That’s a remarkable feat in and of itself. This is a goddamn timeless record, and there’s no doubt I’ll have it in heavy rotation for the rest of my life.

Listen here.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The Effects - Eyes To The Light

Brutus - Burst

Nate Smith - KINFOLK: Postcards From The Edge

Employed To Serve - Warmth of A Dying Sun

God Mother - Vilseledd

Slowdive - Sugar For The Pill

Hundredth - RARE

Mutoid Man - War Moans

Grizzly Bear - Painted Ruins

Quicksand - Interiors

Death From Above - Outrage! Is Now

Power Trip - Nightmare Logic

Health - DISCO3

Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory

All Them Witches - Sleeping Through The War

Code Orange - Forever

Blis - No One Likes You

Bjork - Utopia

Less Art - Strangled Light ;)

MY FAVORITE RECORD OF 2015 THAT I DIDN’T HEAR UNTIL 2017

Town Portal - The Occident

MY FAVORITE RECORD OF 2004 THAT I DIDN’T HEAR UNTIL 2017

The Stella Link - Mystic Jaguar... Attack!!!

CURRENT PODCAST QUEUE

Chapo Trap House (Grey Wolf Feed)

The Trap Set

Song Exploder

Slate’s The Gist

Slate’s Hang Up & Listen

INTERCEPTED

The FilmDrunk Frotcast

Deadcast

How I Built This

Freakonomics Radio

Radiolab

This American Life

[tjsawesomename]

The Top 50 Songs of 2017 Part 2: 20-1

And we’re back! It’s time to talk about my absolute favorite songs of the year. These are the songs that I can write a little bit more about because they had a bigger impact on me.

So, let’s get started!

20. Calvin Harris feat. Katy Perry, Pharrell Williams, and Big Sean - Feels

Let’s talk about Katy Perry. She’s been in somewhat of a career slump as of late, with most of her singles absolutely failing on the Billboard Hot 100, and her general new “persona” being extremely negatively received by the general public.

So Calvin Harris releases a collab with her and a few other artists, and it’s an absolute banger. While it might be a diss track to Taylor Swift, it’s so good. It’s just so good. It’s Calvin Harris’ best song to date, honestly, and it’s heavily benefited by Pharrell’s influence. It’s almost a perfect pop song, but not quite. I’ll get more into that later.

19. Paperwhite - Only Us

There’s pop music that’s ahead of this time, and then there’s pop music that doesn’t catch airplay because it’s too far ahead of this time. “Only Us” falls into the latter category. But I can guarantee you that 3-5 years from now pop music will sound very similar to this, because it’s so great that people can’t quite grasp just how great it is. Kinda like Carly Rae Jepsen.

18. Courtney Barnett - Three Packs a Day

There’s something about Courtney Barnett’s ability to make an entertaining song about any mundane activity while also giving it a deeper meaning. This one is about trying to quit smoking, and while it’s not her best song (I found this one a bit too refined compared to some of her earlier work, but that doesn’t make this song bad by any means clearly), I certainly don’t care. It’s still Courtney Barnett. And an average Courtney Barnett song is still an amazing song overall.

17. SZA feat. Kendrick Lamar - Doves In the Wind

SZA is one of the best new artists of the year, at least she’s my favorite new artist that I discovered this year. Her album was one of my personal favorites this year, culminating in this track featuring a tight verse from Kendrick Lamar. The whole album is a gem, but this song truly shines the most.

16. The Pretty Reckless - Take Me Down

I love rock, but the definition of rock has vastly changed over the year. Lately there has been a dearth of old-fashioned hard rock.

Enter Taylor Momsen and her band. The days of cute little Cindy Lou Who, and now are the days of Taylor Momsen: Rock Goddess. “Take Me Down” is the Pretty Reckless’ best song to date, with an infectious beat you can’t get out of your head. Sometimes the old ways truly are the best.

15. Lorde - Perfect Places

Everytime I hear this song, an immense joy just immediately comes over me. I was certain that Lorde would be going in a different direction for her sophomore album, but I was wrong and I’ve never been happier to be wrong. “Places” is the kind of banger where you close your eyes and shout as loudly as possible to the lyrics of. I can’t wait to see where Lorde goes next.

14. N.E.R.D. & Rihanna - Lemon

Lemon is one of the best rap songs of the year, managing to be fun, fierce, funky, and featuring Rihanna’s best guest appearance to date (my personal favorite before this? Her being featured on Kanye West’s “All of the Lights,” still one of my favorite songs of all time). This is the most fun rap song of the year, being self-indulgent in the best way possible while also letting loose. Let’s hope Rihanna raps more in 2018!

13. Geowulf - Saltwater

Almost 90′s-esque in nature, “Saltwater” captures a very esoteric tone. You absorb yourself into the music and feel the song move through you, kinda like water. If the goal of the song is to capture how the ocean feels, Geowulf conquered that in spades.

12. Anik Khan - Kites

“Kites” is the most relaxing song of the year. I mean that, it’s seriously so incredibly relaxing. I can guarantee that Summer 2018 I’ll be basking in the warm sunlight under the oak trees in the park, joint in my hand.

11. Missy Elliott feat. Lamb - I’m Better

I missed Missy Elliott so much. She’s one of the best rappers of all time and she always knows how to bring the beat. Coming back from a decade-long hiatus is never easy, and while it might not have been as successful as I’d like, she still released one of her best songs to date, up there with “Work It.” I’m definitely glad Miss E is back and better than ever!

10. Foster the People - Sit Next to Me

I’ve been a fan of Foster the People for quite a few years now. They were honestly the first indie band I fell in love with, though a large part of it is because two of the band members are smoking hot. Regardless, I’ve enjoyed almost all of the work they’ve put out over the years, but no song quite sounds as good as “Sit.” I know I’ve said quite a bit during this article that this was x’s songs “best song to date,” (and this won’t be the last time, either!) but that’s because there were so many bands that actually did release their best songs to date this year. 2017 was a good, good year for music.

9. Kesha - Bastards

Kesha is free, and I’m so happy. While “Praying” is an amazing song, “Bastards” shows just how angry she really is, not just at Dr. Luke, but at everyone involved, from the press, to the internet trolls, to the people who silenced her for years. She’s moving on and I’m so excited to see where she goes now that she’s finally free.

8. Portugal. The Man feat. Richie Havens and Son Little - Number One

Yes, I could have put “Feel It Still” on here, because “Feel It Still” is a great song. But it’s not a Portugal. The Man song. It feels so out of place in their discography. “Number One” is the best song on their album, because it’s the best direction they’ve evolved in. “One” is one of the best songs they’ve released, up there with “Modern Jesus.”

7. RAC feat. St. Lucia - The Beautiful Game

RAC is a great act I discovered in 2017, and I’m so glad I did. Everything has a funky beat. I love it. This song features the best of Rac AND the best of St. Lucia, another favorite band of mine. “Game” is fantastically upbeat and just makes you want to dance, and sometimes that’s all you need.

6. HONNE - Warm On a Cold Night

Sometimes you just need to relax with a joint or a pax and listen to some groovy tunes. “Night” is the best example of one of these tunes, up there with “Necessary Evil” by Unknown Mortal Orchestra and “Same Ol’ Mistakes” by Rihanna. This is the kind of song that absorbs you and lets you sink into every note.

5. The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk - I Feel It Coming

Earlier I talked about a concept called the “perfect pop song,” and how “Feels” wasn’t quite one. “Coming” is a perfect pop song though. I define a perfect pop song as being encapsulating of the current pop music milieu while also being wildly successful. “Coming” is exactly that; in fifteen years time, “Coming” will be considered one of the staple songs of the year 2017. Not only is it The Weeknd’s best song to date, it also shows that Daft Punk is still incredible. Truly a song to remember for a long time.

4. Arcade Fire - Everything Now

This is the first song I can think of that utilizes pan pipes that I ended up loving, but the pan pipe hook is what makes the song incredible. But I also love that it’s a song about materialism and our dependence on things that don’t matter, while acknowledging that on a certain level we do need these things to survive (the song wouldn’t be upbeat if it didn’t recognize the necessity of ownership on some level. Regardless, this is Arcade Fire’s best song to date.

3. Chet Faker feat. Banks - 1998

2017 was the year I discovered Chet Faker. And I’m so glad I did. “1998″ is one of the most perfect songs I’ve ever heard. It’s a song about drifting apart over the years, and it’s every bit as melancholy as it is an absolute banger.

2. Childish Gambino - Redbone

At first I didn’t get Childish Gambino’s new album. Now I do. Redbone is his magnum opus and one of my personal favorite songs ever. The moment when I finally realized I loved this song was when I heard it for the first time in “Get Out,” my favorite film of 2017. The foreshadowing that this song used from the lines “stay woke” add a double layer of enjoyment to this song. I truly hope Childish Gambino’s last album is his best.

Let’s go over the #1 songs of each year this decade before we reveal the number one song:

2010: LCD Soundsystem - Dance Yrself Clean

2011: M83 - Midnight City

2012: Alabama Shakes - Hold On

2013: Lorde - Royals

2014: Courtney Barnett - Avant Gardner

2015: The Black Keys - Weight of Love

2016: Glass Animals - Season 2, Episode 3

1. Dej Loaf - No Fear

When I pick the number one song of the year, one of the things I always end up asking myself is what songs I ended up listening to the most. From the moment “No Fear” came on for the first time I was absolutely addicted to it. And I still am today. Everything about this song to me is perfect, from the sentimental lyrics to the pulsing beat. Everything about this song comes together perfectly. And that’s why this song is my number one song of 2017.

So that’s it! The best songs of 2017! Check back later for more stuff, and 2018′s list in about a year!