#too weak to break free but you can't un-awaken (at least not entirely) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sillimancer · 19 days ago

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yknow when my therapist closed last week's session with a "so next week is the election please talk to me before considering dying" talk I kinda brushed it off but now it's two days away and there it is, that funny feeling once again.

#my diary #(feeling the need for a trip to inpatient amirite)#nah I'm fine I just wasn't expecting to dread it this much this time around #the amount of cognitive dissonance required to survive american politics is truly incomprehensible #the closest I've ever coming to understanding eldritch horror #there's a post that goes around here periodically that talks about how americans don't really have a cool kaiju like japan has godzilla #and I'm not really into kaiju media much but my friends are so I've been seeing more of it #and idk that post got its hooks into my brain and I got to wondering how a kaiju would manifest here #like what would that look like #but brother I think the kaiju is us #the american empire is the kaiju being inflicted on the rest of the world #and we're in-the-hills-in-the-cities-style bound to this unstoppable empirical monstrosity that's consuming and destroying the whole planet #and at this point in my life I feel like I woke up from the matrix but am still stuck and plugged into the battery pod #too weak to break free but you can't un-awaken (at least not entirely)#so you're just....... stuck in the pod and forced to occasionally re-enter delusion land to cast a ballot #like the ballot is going to affect the giant squid robots back in the real world somehow #this metaphor is getting away from me which means I'm ruminating so I'm gonna go play splatoon now #all this to say I hope kamala harris wins #and ha ha hee hee hoo hoo my therapist was right I'd get weird about the election even though I thought I'd be normal and fine

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