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ambersky0319 · 5 years ago

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Amber Rambles about a Story-

So I wanna ramble about an original story, the ideas I have for it, the characters, the world in general and the one person in my house that would listen and give good feedback or ideas and knows the basics of what I have planned is currently asleep so

There's a lot here oof-

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So to start off I wanna scratch the surface that is the world before I delve into the characters

The story(from what I have planned it'll take place over 11 books) takes place mainly on an alternate-earth that is more dystopian/sci-fi ish and an original fantasy world I've been calling Fandahli. The first part of the first book takes place in Fandahli, and the second and third parts on this alternate-earth.

The earth is basically unified, most people speaking a new language just known as Emor(basically English under a different name). Technological advances have come to a stop, or so it would seem. The world is pretty much American culture having taken over media, erasing other cultures, etc. They now call themselves Emorians. Not a good place to be.

They had created an organization about twenty-five years before the story takes place, at the time called Prosper, but later it renamed itself as Tempest. The organization was less of that and more like a government experiment, combining animal genes into the genes of humans in a certain way to create the 'ultimate human'. Originally, the Emorians created them to keep everyone in line. These humans were trained to be assassins without the government's knowing however and it wasn't long before Emorian officials began to disappear.

Now Fandahli! Fandahli is a world that's very similar to Earth, but is held together by magic(in this universe, Earth also technically has magic but it's very little/very weak and has been dormant for so long it's been forgotten). It was created by four Cinomeds, powerful beings that have powers no one still on Fandahli has. These four are: Rikki, Angel, Serranidae, and Aki.

Along with that, the most two important continents on Fandahli are Vola and Tione.

After the War of Cinomeds, where Angel rebelled against her companions, the land was pretty much destroyed. But portals to other worlds remained open and the land healed. Humans then arrived after discovering one of the portals, but soon after the portals all closed once more, trapping them there. The humans adapted, gaining magic to help them survive, and changed their name to Dalis.

The Dalis split over the different continents, and then into different kingdoms, and grew from there. The main kingdom focused on is Tongyi, located within Vola. It remains spring there no matter the time of year.

The powers of the Dalis vary, but usuaily end up being one of these:

Weapon-Creation

Barrier-Creation

Healing

Barrier creation and weapon creation can sometimes occur within the same Dali, though it isn't too common- but it's not rare either

Aside from Dalis, there are also Dragons. The dragon species vary on where on Tione they come from, or if they come from a different part of Fandahli. I'm still designing some of them.

And then there are the werewolves. Most werewolf villages are peaceful, and are respected by all Dali. It's believed to be a great dishonor to fight any werewolf village. I'm still developing the werewolves as well, I just know they play important roles within the story itself later on.

Back to Cinomeds cause I forgot an important detail!

After the War of Cinomeds(thought to be a war of gods by the Dali, they're also thought to just be legends), Angel was forcefully split apart. Her soul was torn and although Rikki(the one who defeated her) believed that she was gone for good, it seemed that she would just be reincarnated into two other people(Dalis for a long while, later encompassing both Fandahlian species and Humans) that when together could possibly turn into her. It was rare that any of the reincarnates actually met.

The other Cinomeds fell into a deep slumber until the portals would be reopened.

I feel I've rambled long enough about the world 😅 how about my babies next?

Evanna Mays

Evanna is a force to be reckoned with

The youngest queen to ever rule Tongyi, taking the throne soon after her (quite hated)mother's death. She took the throne midway through a war with another kingdom

Evanna herself is loved among her subjects, though many often try to tell her to do or not do certain things. Try to give her restrictions

Like don't fight on the front lines, have an heir if you're gonna do that, just stay on your throne, don't go to other kingdoms it's too dangerous

Each person fails

Especially whenever they bring up an heir, cause it's not like she doesn't like kids she just never wants to have a biological one

And she refuses to marry someone with a kid so they'd become her heir

She's Aro/Ace if ya didn't catch on

Her family all has bright red hair and pastel blue eyes. They're the only ones in all of Vola with these traits and are quite recognizeable.

She later adopts and people get off her case about having an heir because he is her son just not her biological son but that changes nothing cause she loves him and will fight anyone who thinks he's not fit for the throne

Dani Mays

The adopted son

He's just like Evanna, rushing into battle, and citizens of Tongyi just panic because oh fuck he's gonna die he's more reckless than her-

Very social but people treat him so differently cause he's the prince that he can't seem to make any friends and he h a t e s that

Then two humans come into his life and he is very very bi

Queue a whole love-triangle subplot that goes well

Dani adores reading and learning overall, spending hours in Evanna's old study

Becomes King far sooner than he had wanted

Life goes to hell not long after coronation and he suffers from depression and nothing's good for anyone during this time

Does he get a happy ending? Who knows

He doesn't

Oh also he's a biromantic asexual boi and proud

Leona Carter

Young woman with a troubled past, Leona is a very stubborn and apathetic human

Is a high-ranking member of Tempest

It was a last resort in a difficult situation and she's just glad her heart is still beating

Is pretty well-off so long as she follows orders

But if course she later joins a rebellion after becoming very gay for one of her targets that she now refuses to kill for other reasons

Slow burn subplot ensues

She nearly dies many times

95% of the time she does not care if she dies

Just wants a peaceful life

Does she ever get it?

Eventually, after losing something really important though

Marie Sydney

Marie had a decent life, great parents and an awesome protective older brother, and his new daughter

Yeah that all shattered after something happened to her and she was left to cope by herself cause she wasn't sure what to do about the situation

She just adopted a fifteen year old btw who has no idea about her situation

Then she meets Leona

She thinks Leona's great, but there's something off about this news reporter

And then Leona reveals her actual job and the original reason she ever asked Marie out and she's sobbing and a gun is in her hand but she's placing it in Marie's and begging for Marie to pull the trigger

Turns out Marie was a target but Leona just can't kill Marie, not knowing what's happened to Marie nor what could happen now that the two grew close. But Leona's incapable of taking her own life

Marie doesn't pull the trigger

Life somehow gets worse as she's tangled up in this whole Tempest bullshit

Falls for Leona in the process and is very conflicted about it

Taylor Sydney

Adopted by Marie at 15

Her life's pretty normal until a portal is discovered and when she's a high school senior her class is forced to learn about Vola and Tongyi specifically. They eventually go to Tongyi through the portal

Turns out her Mom and Leona know the queen of Tongyi cause things have happened

Meets Dani and Jeremiah

They find out they can form Angel and that's when shit really goes down

Things happen, love confessions made, near death experiences, loves drifting apart, etc. etc.

Doesn't have a happy ending

Jeremiah Canales

My trans boi

I love him, he gets mistaken for Evanna's son quite a lot, usually by humans

He identifies as pan, and doesn't experience dysphoria. Oh and he was a Tempest Engineer for awhile

His family was pretty accepting of him once he reconnected with them(originally drifted apart cause of reasons I have yet to create)

Is pretty much the only braincell Angel has when formed

He feels really, really guilty that weapons he created were used to kill dozens of people and somehow equates that to him killing them even if he was forced to make the weapons

Oh and Deathstriker(highest ranking member of Tempest) uses his Tempest name and despite being absolutely awful in every way refuses to deadname or misgender him

It's the one thing he'll ever appreciate Deathstriker doing

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This ain't even all the characters(obviously). There's still Kord Sydney, Chloe Jansen, and Neva Sydney, all of whom are still being developed. Deathstriker, and all the Cinomeds. Past Angels that will be relevant at different parts of the story. And many other characters that I've never even mentioned in the past.

Anywho fair warning, the series does not end quite that happily. I'm hoping to make the last chapter(an epilogue) to have a bittersweet feeling but idk I'm debating it.

Anyway if you got this far....

Thanks? I think? Idk I've never had anyone get this far I think in any original thing I've ever made- if you got this far tho here's some hearts cause I love you for taking some sort of interest in my personal creations 😅

💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤

#cinomed chronicles #ambersky ocs #ambersky #ambersky oc #ambersky original writing #original content #rambling #if anyone ever has any questions about this story #i will literally cry #and gladly answer through my tears and love you forever #but i doubt anyone will XD #yall are here for the gay fanfic #not my gonna-be-angsty confusing original story

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destiny-smasher · 6 years ago

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Kingdom Hearts 3 impressions

So, uh, I will ONLY be talking about stuff up until the very start of the second World, and only AFTER the break. Kingdom Hearts 1 was an incredibly important and influential piece of media when I was growing up. I was writing fic based on Smash Bros. just before KH rolled onto the scene was like, “Yo, Disney and Final Fantasy, BAM, fuckin’ random? fucking RADDDD” and I was all about it. You had FF characters remixed with OCs remixed with Disney characters, and the villains were all crossing over to form the League of Bad Cartoons, it was a great time. And then Nomura realized his gamble was a win and decided to waste the next 15 years of everyone’s time shoving in every trope he liked, every IDEA that felt “cool” together into a mish mash of whatever the hell this “narrative” has become. Suffice it to say, I’ve got beef with Kingdom Hearts as a “story.” It just occurred to me today that a big part of this is thematic/tonal.

But it’s also VERY rare, maybe even unprecedented, for a piece of media like Kingdom Hearts 3 to come around. For years, then months, then weeks, then days, I told myself, “It’s not real, that game doesn’t exist, I won’t believe it until I’m literally playing it” and just could not be bothered to be hype or interested, if only because Nomura’s “vision”, from my perspective, warped something I admired in my youth into a fucking train wreck, leaving me very little to feel emotionally invested in outside of Aqua and by proxy the two lads she is trying to protect. (also I GUESS I’m slightly invested in Axel/Xion/Roxas.../Namine? for similar reasons now that I think about it?) Well, guess what? Kingdom Hearts VERY WELL might be real, and I very well might be about three hours into it. And for all of the beef I have with the plot, I am fucking relieved that those three hours have felt/sounded good, as a video game. NOW we’re gonna talk about the first World. --

When I first heard that Olympus was gonna be the first World in KH3 I was disappointed and BAFFLED. We’re visiting that place a THIRD time? And why THAT World? Turns out, there’s actually some substantial thematic relevance and that’s actually A-OK, not to mention that starting with a familiar world after ALL OF THIS TIME is not such a bad way to kick things off. First off, structurally, I actually really enjoyed the way this world played out. Two of my biggest problems with KH as a video game series have been that worlds feel like empty, vacant, haunted houses, and that said worlds are usually small and linear with a lot of pointless backtracking. Olympus fixes all of this. There are NPCs. Actual fucking PEOPLE in this world. Sure, they’re just people in danger, calling for help, but they’re THERE for once! And they have vocies! EVERY line of dialogue (except for like one “plot” moment) has actually been voiced so far! About time. Also. This World is not as linear as most KH Worlds. In fact, it help more open and dynamic than ANY World in any KH game so far, not to mention it featured three, THREE (wtf) unique and distinct types of settings. The city, the mountain, and Olympus. Nice. ALSO also. The music. We’ve been here before. We KNOW that Olympus theme from earlier games. And as you traverse the city, up the mountain, you hear this more sweeping, movie-like version, and it’s like “oh whoa nice” aaaaand then you get TO Olympus and it KICKS in, the old song, up to modern snuff. That was great. That was a thing that really helped convey “Kingdom Hearts is back, baby.” The World was big, compared to typical KH worlds. It had multiple nooks and crannies to explore, side-paths to go down, treasure to find hidden away. There is a LOT of verticality. Running up walls and seamlessly hopping over things in the environment makes traversal more enjoyable than it ever has been. Even though a lot of the World is technically a linear path it’s not structured like a path. Going off and exploring rewards you with items and the like, and the World is big enough to actually feel like you have places to poke around in. Having said this, WHY is there no...map? Like. You literally COLLECT Maps from Chests like you used to. But near as I can tell, there’s no way to pull up an actual MAP, to seer where the main path is, to see where the side paths are. It’s boggling. Maybe the game has the option hidden away somewhere but if so, that’s just silly. And if there’s just no actual map option at ALL that’s just...baffling. There were barely any load times for how much SPACE there was to navigate, and things looked very shiny and pretty, and ran at a smooth 60 fps MOST of the time. Tech specs aren’t everything, but when your brand is built on “looking pretty” it sure af helps when you bring scale AND a smooth framerate to match. It’s weird, and a bit jarring, sometimes in a good way, to see all of this stuff rendered in modern tech. Stuff looks...a little too plasticy a lot of the time, (which actually ought to pay off when we get to Toy Story?) but the environments so far feel rich and vast and detailed all at once in a way we just have never seen the series, because we’re basically jumping from PS2-level tech to PS4. So that difference in production is more noticeable for the wait -- I just wish things looked a bit more...I guess cel-shaded? Like the original trailer. Things (specifically, characters) look a little too flat/plasticy at times, for how pretty things are. Combat seems to be as flashy as ever and I’m sure I’ll feel differently as I get further in and unlock more options but it’s still too easy, simple, and mashy for my tastes. I am HOPING we get more moments that require quick reflexes and specific tactics like the harder moments of older KH games. The amusement rides mechanic is...weird. It’s given NO context in universe. And they last a little too long/feel too overpowered for how easy they are to utilize. Similarly, there are frequently seemingly random party-member tag-team attacks that...just seem like “press triangle to win” moves. I wish they entailed more interaction, and/or felt less common/random. I like the IDEA of these kinds of moves, especially ones that change your controls/method of attack for a few seconds (like Hercules’ team attack) but the execution makes them feel too cheap and easy to abuse, with combat that’s ALREADY skewing on the “too easy” side for the genre. I like the “form change” for keyblades, and that you can swap keyblades in the middle of a fight. Really hoping this allows for some good tactical stuff later -- buuuuut that would also require the game to ASK OF ME to do more than “mash X,” which KH as a brand typically does not do... Characters SPEAK in reaction to gameplay moments, when you initiate things in the environment, etc. It’s a nice touch that makes them feel more like characters in an RPG. Donald and Goofy are ALWAYS in the party, alongside the Disney member(s). NICE. Maybe KH3 is putting its best foot forward, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised with Olympus. It single-handedly corrected MOST of the issues I’ve ever had with Kingdom Hearts level design. I only hope the momentum keeps going. Moving on, Gummi Ships. What little I played is easily the best they have every been. I love having an open world with optional places/fights to explore, while still giving me those shmup-like bursts of action. The Gummi Phone seems like a fun mechanic, and taking selfies/photos makes SENSE for this game because of how visually detailed it is -- but the pleasant surprise was how I took selfies with Donald and Goofy and they REACTED to it, starting to pose and commenting on it. On the other hand, the loading screen being nonsensical “social media” posts from KH characters...I don’t like it thanks go away. x’D I’ve spent only a few minutes in Twilight Town and INSTANTLY I am so much more enamored than I ever was in previous games. Not just due to the bump up in visual fidelity, but also because -- GASP -- NPCs??? Are you trying to tell me this is an actual TOWN that people LIVE IN?? Holy shit, Kingdom Hearts, I never knew! For all of this stuff I liked, though, KH3 is still...a KH game. Which means after you get through the intro, after you gear up to land in Olympus, the game flashes the title: “Kingdom Hearts II.9″ ...no. Just no. Fuck. Stop doing this shit. Whenever an Organization 13 member (or EX member) shows up and starts speaking all cocky in riddles like the flamboyant anime jackass they are, whenever Mickey starts dead-ass blathering about weird nonsense whenever the plot HAS to acknowledge “oh right Sora golly gawrsh ya FURRGOT this random bullshit a-FYUCK better shove this expository throwaway dialogue right in here before we go n’ furrget again!” whenever Kairi continues to be irrelevant and invisible after ALL THIS TIME whenever Rikku has to say some obligatory thing about his darkness or his copy of himself or Ansem or whatever whenever the plot informs Sorta/Dornold/Goffy about another convoluted ridiculous THING that we already know about and they MAYBE already know about because it is OBLIGATED to because this game’s entire purpose has become to “wrap things up already Nomura” I am reminded of the freshly opened scar on my heart from how much SHIT this series has dragged itself through for...what? Nothing worth all of this, IMO. Thankfully, these moments feel less and less pressing in KH3′s opening hours than they certainly could be, though I’m sure the closing hours of the game -- once they’ve tidily gotten all of that silly, inconsequential DISNEY CONTENT out of the way (even though that’s the BULK of the game environments and HALF of the series’ identity/purpose) -- those closing hours will surely be packed to the gills with all of this crazy crap. Maybe by then I might finally care enough to finally get the catharsis I’ve waited over a decade for. I dunno. I’m just relieved the game looks, plays, sounds, and feels as good as it does so far. EDIT: almost forgot to mention this since it hasn’t actually come up yet BUT I picked up a BUNCH of “ingredients”??? Like. FOR COOKING??? Which is one of my all-time favorite mechanics in a video game?? (thanks Paper Mario) So I’m at LEAST excited to see what THAT is all about.

#KH3 #Kingdom Hearts 3

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silasmadams · 5 years ago

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💔💝❤️A Mild Defense of Love Triangles 🚶‍♂️👫

INTRO

As the title indicates I want to offer my defense of the love triangle. In my opinion, shitting on the love triangle is the equivalent of beating a dead horse and if you want to continue beating said dead horse, go right ahead. Who am I to stop you? But that being said, I think love triangles get a bad rap. I will say that a lot of the criticism of love triangles, especially in more recent works, is fair. A lot of the criticisms bring up important points and shine lights on the overuse of this trope, to the point that when it’s used well people still decide to shit on it or call it out. Now, the YA genre especially can do this poorly. I love YA, for the uninitiated that just means Young Adult. I think YA is a fantastic genre and there are hundreds of gems within it but again there’s a lot of overuse of the love triangle and when it’s used well, even within the YA genre, it’s still seen as bad because people have decided that using the love triangle is automatically only for cheap romance or unneeded drama or what have you. And this is true in certain cases but not all.

As such it’s unfair to dismiss this trope so easily. I mean I get it, we’ve all got tropes we hate, I absolutely despise the constant setting of fantasy within a medieval England type sphere or the trope of when there’s one female character in a group whose sole purpose is to be the love interest OR the dark brooding bad boy who’s an absolute asshole but we’re expected to like him and be into his bastardry because of his tragic backstory, and so on. Suffice to say I’ve got my fair share of issues about tropes in the literature world but as a whole, love triangles aren’t my top priority among them, hence the title.

I’m going to discuss three books/series that I feel do the love triangle justice. Regardless of the book’s own merit, I feel this aspect of them was done well. I believe there are two main ways that the love triangle can be done right. The first is pure emotions where the characters bounce off each other perfectly and make you invested in all the involved parties. That is to say, not a love vector, not a love segment with an additional point on the periphery, but an actual triangle where all three characters have some relationship with one another be it romantic, platonic, or hate-filled. The second is by having the love interests double as different ideologies/beliefs that the main person must choose. These two types can and often do overlap which only further adds to the strength of the love triangle that’s depicted.

Fair warning, there will be spoilers (mild or otherwise) for the following: The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare, The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins, and My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (the first book only).

EXAMPLE 1: THE INFERNAL DEVICES BY CASSANDRA CLARE

The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare. I have long since fallen out of love with her books, but I feel as though this series is a good example of the love triangle based on pure emotions done right. Whatever opinions you may have of this author it’s important to give credit where credit is due.

Within the Infernal Devices, there is the main love triangle between Will, Tessa, and Jem. Will is your typical bad boy with a heart of gold except in Victorian England, Jem is a kind-hearted musician with a drug addiction. Tessa is the newcomer to the magical world that the boys know and she is an avid reader who constantly talks about the books she's read or would like to read. Now the reason this love triangle works as well as it does is because each party, in their own way, is in love with the other person. Will loves Tessa and the reader sees that through their escapades, their secret romances, their longing gazes and what not. Jem also loves Tessa and the reader similarly sees that through their shared conversations and affectionate moments. Tessa loves both of these boys which is evident through her internal dialogue that we as the reader are able to peer into, and if Clare had stopped there then this would be a poor love triangle, however, she doesn’t. She instead chooses to establish a strong and clear relationship between Will and Jem that showcases their own love for each other. They have a connection that is incredibly strong and goes beyond the terms of simple ‘bromance’ if you will. Jem, as someone who was forced to take a life altering drug and then became addicted to it, is an individual that is constantly in poor health and Will constantly cares for and protects him. He’s worried for him and tries to keep him safe and happy as best he can. They are the link in the love triangle that allows it to be as engaging as it is. They are not merely two boys fighting over a prize, they are two people that love each other and also happen to love the same girl. When Jem and Tessa become engaged, Will is heartbroken but it comes off as a heartbreak from both sides, he’s hurt by both Jem and Tessa choosing each other and leaving him. Tessa herself is unsure of the match because she continues to harbor feelings for Will while also being in love with Jem.

Within the series, it’s not just one side you care about. Sure, there were people who were rooting for Will over Jem or Jem over Will but the vast majority didn’t want anyone hurt, they were invested and they wanted a solution that would end with neither one of them upset. I, as a reader, cared for these characters and not just in the sense of who Tessa would choose but in the sense of the boy’s relationship with each other. Was this something they could move past, were they strong enough to get through these emotions and come out stronger on the other side? When reading it myself I clearly remember that tension and that desire for these characters to be happy.

In this sense, the emotions drive the series and even as I was starting to lose interest in Clare’s writing style and her books, I stuck around to see the conclusion of this romance. I’ll admit I was upset and am still somewhat bitter about the ending. You had all the chances to make it an excellent Polyamory ship, Clare but you didn’t! Regardless of the lackluster ending of this love triangle, I’d still put this as a great example of the emotional aspect in a love triangle done right, due in part to the lasting impact it has. Because, even years after finishing the series I still think about it and I still hope to write a relationship like that in my own stories, one that sticks with the reader long after they’ve finished the series or even have fallen out of love with the authors books.

EXAMPLE 2: THE HUNGER GAMES BY SUZANNE COLLINS

When I talk about this series I am specifically talking about the books, not the movies. The movies are well done, don’t get me wrong and they stick close to the series but the marketing of the movies and the desire to push the whole “Team Peeta” or “Team Gale” is something that muddies the movies for me. I know this is something that was present in the books as well but I wasn’t too active online when I first read them so I never had that aspect of the books in my head. I also want to note that the romance isn’t the main focus of this series but the love triangle in it serves a good example of a well done love triangle based on equating the individual to an identity/belief system.

What I mean by the boys representing a belief system/different life/identity is this; I mean that someone like Gale is the old world belief, the more stringent, masculine, and typical. He is attractive and he is familiar, he is something that Katniss has known her whole life and as such he’s the obvious choice. It’s something expected, they’re not only from the same class but they share a similar backstory. Gale is the type of person Katniss would be expected to go with. They are the perfect pair because they are not a change from the status quo they are acceptable. Peeta, on the other hand, is from a different class than Katniss, a higher class. He is not the traditionally masculine option, he’s not a miner or a hunter but a baker. He doesn’t have the same views as Gale and is seen as the gentler of the two boys. Where Gale is strength, Peeta is kindness, where Gale is anger, Peeta is forgiveness, and so on. These two are diametric opposites even in terms of their physical appearances. Gale looks like Katniss, that is brown skin, dark hair, dark eyes because that is what the lower classes look like, that is how the reader is meant to initially discern from poor and rich with the exception of Prim and Katniss’s mother. Her mother having married lower than her class and her sister having the resemblance of their mother, subtly insinuating that Prim is the sister meant for greater things. Typically the higher classes, like the one Peeta is a part of, are light-skinned with light hair, light eyes, they are the merchants and local politicians, etc. Therefore they, the boys, not only represent different beliefs but different life-styles all together. When the third book in the trilogy comes around and Katniss is given a choice of mercy or revenge, Gale stands on the side of revenge, on the side that says they should take the children of the capitol and have them fight each other, Hunger Games style. Peeta on the other hand stands on the side of mercy where he argues that it is inhumane and cruel and by going forward with the plan for revenge they are no better than the people they took down, they are not saviors but rather they are the people here to replace Snow. When Katniss shoots Coin instead of Snow, she chooses mercy and thus she chooses Peeta, she chooses a quiet and gentle life rather than an extravagant one under cameras. By having the boys be polar opposites in ideological beliefs it makes Katniss’s choice of the two boys not about romance, which seems fitting for her considering she isn’t exactly a romantic and more interested in doing what she believes to be right, but about choosing and sticking with a certain belief/ideology/etc. It explains her waffling between the two boys as well, she is trying to understand her own viewpoints and the flip flopping from one boy to the other allow her to explore said points.

EXAMPLE 3: MY BRILLIANT FRIEND BY ELENA FERRANTE

In all honesty, this book alone deserves its own review and I have been meaning to talk about in detail but I don’t want to start talking about it until I’ve finished the entire series. For now, I’ll be talking about the first book and its use of love triangles, squares, so on. Love shapes if you will. This series follows the friendship of two girls in post-war Italy from childhood to early adulthood. Unlike the other examples, this isn’t a YA book but a Historical Fiction, adult book.

I’ve already discussed the use of emotions and angst as well as belief systems. This book is an example of both being used. The boys in this book are a way to depict how the women are meant to navigate the world they live in while the women themselves, Lila and Elena are a depiction of pure emotion. Each character that shows interest in Lila and to an extent Elena serves as a way to depict different forms of ideologies/government/etc. There is not one love triangle, but multiple love triangles happening at once. As such I can’t touch on every aspect here so I’m going to only give a quick run-down.

The men or boys in question that are after Lila are Stefano (Capitalism), Marcello (Fascism), Pasquale (Communism), while the boys after Elena are Nino (Academia/Education) and Antonio (The Plebs/Common Folk/Poverty). Within this group there are love triangles galore and since I can’t focus on all of them, I’m going to briefly talk about the love triangle of Lila, Pasquale, and Elena. This love triangle is one that’s more towards the beginning of the novel and its set when the girls are beginning to grow out of childhood and into adulthood. Pasquale is the first boy to show interest not in Elena but in Lila. This brings out jealousy in Elena because even though Lila has always been smarter than her, she has always been the more beautiful of the two friends. Once Pasquale starts to show interest in Lila, it becomes a gateway for the other boys to look on and also begin to fawn over Lila. Hence why it goes Pasquale, Marcello, and Stefano, much like the history of Italy itself (though I’ll admit I’m no expert on that). However, whenever the boys do fawn over Lila, Elena is always present. Lila and Elena themselves have deep rivalry and love that goes back years. They are constantly at each other's throats but they are also best friends. Their bond is something that goes unbroken, even when they fight, they obsess over each other and refuse to let the other out of their mind. In all of the love triangles that show up there is always a version that involves the girls in some way. For Example, the love triangle is Lila, Pasquale, and Marcello. There is ofcourse a version of it where Elena is involved, being Lila, Elena, and Marcello. Unlike the other two series examples, this one is more intricate and complex, that by no means takes away from the other two but it shows how the love triangle can be more than what most people give it credit for. It can be a series of interlocking relationships each as convoluted and twisted as our relationships in real life tend to be. When reading all these relationships and love triangles I was never struck with a feeling of boredom and I never felt the urge to roll my eyes. I was invested in the stories and the links, I wanted to know what would happen, I wanted to know where the relationship of Lila and Elena went, I wanted to know who or if they would choose a suitor. I was entrenched in their lives, I cared what happened along with seeing the parallels of ideologies that were offered their way. This is probably one of the best examples of modern love triangles I can think off.

CONCLUSION

I don’t really have a deep thing to say here at the end. I don’t even know if you’re convinced by ramblings or not. I just think people should allow themselves to be more creative with the love triangle trope. A trope is after all, only bad when it's blatantly predictable and doesn’t make the reader feel anything. I think it’s high time we gave the love triangle another go instead of constantly shoving it back in a corner or looking down on it because ‘romance bad’ especially since its purpose isn’t just romance but relationships of various natures. The love triangle deserves far more credit than being relegated to what a lot of people deem a ‘lesser’ genre. So, have I changed your mind? Do you remain steadfast in hating the love triangle? Tell me if you want or go about your day as usual if you’d rather not.

A VIDEO THAT TALKS ABOUT LOVE TRIANGLES THAT YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT:

https://youtu.be/QojOfp8V7rA

I came across this video after having written this but I thought it was also an interesting take on the defense of/falling back in love with the love triangle.

BOOKS MENTIONED:

The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare

The Infernal Devices Book Series

The Infernal Devices, the Complete Collection: Clockwork Angel; Clockwork Prince; Clockwork Princess

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games Book Series

The Hunger Games Trilogy Boxed Set (1) (8601400319468): Suzanne Collins: Books

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

https://www.alibris.com/search/books/isbn/9781609450786?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NMPi_Smart_Shopping&utm_term=NMPi_Smart_Shopping&ds_rl=1264488&ds_rl=1264488&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnL7yBRD3ARIsAJp_oLanfQZ7YxglG4iP0K1_LaJhsVUDMCH6HJVo_BSrS9IBFCvGe2-r4KkaAtTrEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

My Brilliant Friend: Neapolitan Novels, Book One: Elena Ferrante, Ann Goldstein: 8601400235683

OR get them all at your library, it’s free after all. If your library is closed due to the pandemic, a lot of libraries have ebooks you can borrow. They typically have a large collection online so go ahead and try your luck there, and of course, stay safe and stay inside if you can.

CHECK OUT MY BLOG:

https://silasmadams.home.blog/2020/04/09/%f0%9f%92%94%f0%9f%92%9d%e2%9d%a4%ef%b8%8fa-mild-defense-of-love-triangles-%f0%9f%9a%b6%e2%80%8d%e2%99%82%ef%b8%8f%f0%9f%91%ab/

#love triangle #books #elena ferrante #suzanne collins #cassandra clare #trilog #the infernal devices #the hunger games #my brilliant friend #defense #blog #book blog post

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not-just-any-fangirl · 8 years ago

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Days Of Summer CH 4

A/N; Four weeks running, it’s a new record! Me and @hannah-nobody are super glad all you are enjoying this so much, we too love our awkward and emo Natsu! It’s fun trying to write his complex character, cocky and loud while also doubting of his place with others. Plus, who wasn’t melodramatic in their late teens?

Not to mention we get to explore some really interesting friendships! Lucy and Gajeel anyone?

Here’s the updated playlist!

Summer has arrived, and with it the start of the two month long music camp; Fairy Tail! Full of new songs, friends, and adventures, the campers learn things they never knew about themselves and one another. And just how easy it is to sneak booze and a full sized karaoke machine out into the middle of the woods.

Camp Rock!AU

Pairing: Nalu, Gajevy, Gruvia, others mentioned; Fairy Tail

Words: 6994

Rating: T

Parts: Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven

Chapter Four: Stuck In The Middle

'Cause

Someday things will be perfect

It will be worth it all this time

Stuck in the middle

Natsu let the ice pack fall onto the bed. His cheek still hurt like a bitch, but at least it wasn’t throbbing anymore. Fuck, he had almost forgotten how strong Erza was. Natsu snorted as he thought about how he should have one of those ‘certain number of days since last incident’ posters in their cabin. Actually, it would be a miracle if they even got to day 1 on that thing. Gajeel glared at him, split lip and a light bruise on his cheek showing Erza had punished him as much as she had Natsu.

“Would ya quite makin’ all that fuckin’ noise?”

“I snorted.” Natsu defended sourly.

“And now yer talkin’.” Gajeel snarled back.

“Go fuck yourself Gear Head.” Natsu grumbled, jumping down from his bunk without the help of the ladder. He stood from his slight crouch, whipping a pillow he stole from Gray’s bunk at Gajeel, who in turn batted it away with the back of his hand to where it landed in a cobwebbed corner. What a shame.

“If yer headin’ out try not and stalk Bunny Girl, got it? Me and Lily don't need to hafta keep separating you and Ice Tits. Also don't need to explain to yer old man why you sent a kid to the hospital in yer first week of camp.” Gajeel didn't bother looking at Natsu as he spoke, instead scribbling in his notebook that he liked to hide under his mattress.

“Thinking that hard won't help your headache.” Natsu commented, grinning at the low snarl his cousin gave him and the distracted bird he was flipped. “And you might wanna try that in G minor rather than A major. It'll get that ‘secretly happy’ sound instead of ‘obviously happy’ that you're allergic to.”

Gajeel grunted in response, Natsu rolling his eyes when he heard rushed erasing and rewriting.

“And let me know if you need any help with words that rhyme with shortie.”

“Fuck off Strawberry.”

Natsu ducked out the screen door, snorting at the loud ‘thump’ that signaled that Gajeel had thrown something at his back. And missed.

He fought back a small grin as he slipped in his earphones. He knew for a fact that Gajeel had a pretty deadly aim when he wanted to. As much as he and Gajeel fought, at least he knew his jackass of a cousin would be in his corner. And Happy too for that matter, but Natsu could always rely on his little friend.

Natsu thumbed through his playlists on his old iPod, the silver back scratched to shit and the generation so old it no longer updated. Natsu had gotten this for his eighth birthday, Igneel having saved up for the surprise for months. Natsu settled on the playlist titled ‘Life is Stupid’ humming along as the opening bars of The Anthem by Good Charlotte blasted in his ears.

He walked slowly as he followed the gravel path from the cabin area to the main camp, letting his mind drift off into fantasies of talking to Lucy. He became more depressed as each time it ended in Lucy running away in disgust as she remembered him, not even able to pretend in his own mind that she would want him. Wasn’t that just fucking pathetic.

Natsu groaned and kicked at a stone in front of him, sending it skipping through the grass beside the trail and into a bush. She had called him her friend, though, so that meant she didn’t hate him, right? Or had she just been yelling at Gray? Natsu had to admit, it was stupidly easy to yell at Mr. My Face Begs To Be Punched.

Dragging his hand along his face Natsu clicked the skip button attached to his headphones until heavy drums flooded his brain, overbearing as it drowned out his own thoughts. He absently fixed his dark grey beanie covering his stupid hair. This was fine. Natsu was fine. Lucy didn’t need to know, and if she didn’t know, she couldn’t laugh in his face. Natsu kicked a larger pebble, sending it arcing through the air and rolling along the path a few feet in front of him. Lucy was too sweet to laugh at him, but she could still reject him. A cold pit lodged itself in his gut, similar to the time that he had been cornered by his teacher and forced to read from the stupid playbook in English class.

Natsu still had nightmares.

The song faded out, Natsu barely registering the change as he walked past the climbing wall. While Fairy Tail was a music camp, they did offer some traditional activities for their campers such as lake sports, archery, and the 30-foot tall climbing wall, to name a few. The camp had other activities, but Natsu’s focus drifted as he caught sight of the mess hall. The two-story building was made entirely out of giant wood logs, large glass windows breaking up the light brown colour all around the building. While the roof was domed inside for acoustics, the camp had kept up with the outdoorsy aesthetic and the outside was a mess of sharp angles and triangles for the roof and over each window.

It had been like this for as long as Natsu could remember, and he felt a part of his anxiety wash away at the familiar sight. It was nice to know that some things would never change, Fairy Tail being one of them.

He debated grabbing a cinnamon swirl cookie -a signature of the camp- but chose not to, continuing on his path. Natsu passed groups of kids walking by, laughing and talking and being more social than Natsu felt up to. He kept his chin up, though, confidence leaking into him by being surrounded by the comforting sights and smells. Fairy Tail was basically a second home for him, and he was good at what he did here.

Natsu drummed his fingers along his stomach in time with a guitar riff, hands inside the large center pocket of the hoodie he had thrown on before leaving. He finally passed the second largest building at camp, making his way along the path that led towards the largest one, the open faced stage where they would perform at the end of each week. Natsu closed his eyes as he remembered the feeling of standing on the stage, heart pounding along with the heavy drum beat, fingertips almost numb from the strings on his guitar as he performed. Light flashed in his mind, the roar of the crowd overwhelming and euphoric at the same time.

He was going to sing this year, Natsu decided as he opened his eyes. No more playing guitar in the background. Besides, there was no going back now; Natsu had already checked off the ‘singer’ box alongside ‘guitarist’ when sending his application in the winter.

God, Natsu was going to puke.

His palms became clammy as he thought of standing center stage, a weird mix of nausea and excitement that had Natsu thankful he hadn’t wasted any of his food allowance on that cookie.

Natsu paused as he passed the break in the trees that led to the field in front of the auditorium stage, his feet moving him without permission. Before he knew it he was standing in the open area where everyone had gathered before for the welcoming ceremony, the space far more intimidating and surreal without the masses of campers and staff filling in the wood bench risers.

His iPod switched songs again, Natsu singing along more passionately now that he was alone.

“Condemned to be forever unable,

To give this stupid thing the time that it deserves,

I heard a proud few when the windows were gone,

All singing the same time to separate songs.”

Natsu tilted his head back as he sang at the clear sky, sun warm as it bore down on him. His voice carried through the empty clearing. Natsu got to the skirt of the stage, his voice becoming strained as he hauled himself up with his arms. He rested on his knees, feet hanging off the stage as he looked it over.

Aged but polished metal followed the curving ceiling to the center point 30 feet in the air, braces for the booms mounted against them and wires wrapping through the metal lattices until they reached the bars at every third of the dome. The space between the start of the roof and the stage itself was just tall enough for a person over Gajeel’s height to walk through, greenery of the forest peeking through the mess of metals and wires and sound equipment. Natsu ran a hand over the rough wooden stage floor, taking in the feel of it. How many people had performed here, found their love and passion for music on this stage?

He stood, wandering to the center of 20 by 16 foot platform. He turned in a tight circle, breathing in the fresh air with a deep inhale. Natsu's eyes fell shut as he relived last year’s final performance, the lights and the crowd in his mind shifting to what he imagined performing at a rock concert would be, adrenaline pounding and the music burning in his soul. His hands pantomimed holding Fev, fingers tracing the cords from memory in the air as he played along to the music blasting in his ears.

As the music faded out he raised his hands in the hair, basking in the echo of the applause of his memories. He remembered looking out into the cheering crowd, that feeling of utter elation building and building with the volume of the cheers, and the pride in the faces of Erza and Makarov and Gildarts and… that one empty chair.

Natsu dropped his arms as though his puppet strings had finally been cut loose. Another song began in his ears, but he ripped earbuds out before the words even started. He stared at that spot, row f, seat 14. Empty now and empty then. No matter how much the crowd screamed, how good could he possibly be if his own father couldn’t spare the time to come see him play?

He knew it was stupid. Igneel had been out saving lives, why should he stop to hear a cover of a song he’d already heard a hundred times. His work was much more important, and Natsu understood that. Igneel has promised he would get the day off to come see his performance at the final ceremony this year, so he’d just have to make it so amazing that last years didn’t even bare to think about. Natsu clenched his fist around his iPod. He could do it, he could find the perfect song.

But still, the task was daunting.

Frustrated with his own self doubt, Natsu jammed his headphones back in his ears and flicked through his iPod until he found the perfect motivational song. Something to burn his self doubt into shreds. He debated Work Bitch- but then skipped it for shame of hiding Britney under ‘Unknown Artist’ should someone ever browse his most treasured possession- before eventually settling on a song that was 75% certain to make Gajeel disown him if he ever found out he listening to something so not-death-metal-ish.

He pressed play, turned the volume to its fullest and took as deep breath as the intro kicked in. A thought struck him and he dashed to the side of the stage, desperate to find the necessary props for this once in a lifetime solo performance before the vocals kicked in. He grabbed a mic stand someone had been generous enough to leave an unplugged mic in and rushed back to centre stage. He had a second to compose himself before he took the mic in his right hand and shoved his iPod in his back pocket, leaving his other hand free to perform Dramatic Emotive Gestures.

“I don’t remember the morning I tried to forget,

I lost myself and it’s better not said

Now I’m closer, to, the edge,”

Natsu pointed at that empty fucking chair with all the grace of 2009 Jared Leto he could muster. He imaged the camera right by his face, the lights, the crowd, the band behind him. He gritted his teeth as he sang for full scale emotional intensity.

“It was a thousand to one and a million to two

Time to go down in flames and i'm taking you

Closer. To. The. Edge.”

He fully enunciated every word as though he’d never once stuttered speaking to a stranger or a pretty blonde girl. As though this was his stage and his song and he fucking owned this.

“No I’m not saaaaaaaaying, I’m soooooooorry,

One day, maybe we’ll meet again.”

He screamed the words into the mic because they did they did meet again and he wasn’t sorry for that not one bit and by God he wasn’t going to mess it up this time. He ripped the mic from the stand as he finished the chorus, kicking the stand away in the process so he was unhindered as the next verse began and he stepped forward calmly to sing about dreams and music and falling and getting back up and fuck he loved this song Gajeel be damned.

He punched his fist into the air with every no he sung into the mic. He closed his eyes and for a second he was there. The crowd was there with him, punching their fists into the air in time with his own. His throat was tingling as he held the note and he could feel the heat of the lights on him as he plucked at his imaginary guitar strings during the bridge. By the time the song came to the close he finally opened his eyes and he could tell his voice was hoarse as the song finished.

“Closer to, the edge.”

Natsu laughed to himself as he whipped the sweat from his brow and removed his headphones… to the sound of applause.

A single applause. Natsu looked up in horror to find the scantily clad brunette from earlier that had groped Lucy’s… that had groped Lucy. Cana.

“Hhhooo boy!” She shouted from her seat in the back row, “Well, damn. I sure am on the edge of somethin’!”

Even from this distance Natsu spotted her wink. For the second time in an hour, he was sure he was gonna puke.

Gajeel lifted his eyes from the ninth thick line of crossed out lyrics, cocking his head to the side as he listened. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that was his dumbass cousin’s voice faintly forcing its way into his cabin.

Had Natsu gotten his hands on a fucking megaphone?

Gajeel closed his eyes, concentrating on what the hell the words were supposed to be. No way...

Gajeel was going to get his hands on Natsu's iPod and delete everything pre 2010, that boy needed to stop living in his emo past. And he said Gajeel had bad taste in music.

“Yer owner’s such a fuckwit he probably doesn't even know the mics on.” Gajeel said to the bundle of blue fur curled into the crook of his knee. Happy lifted his head and blinked at Gajeel slowly, meowing loudly before tucking back into a fuzzy ball. “Ya get me.” He nodded to himself, rubbing a knuckle between Happy’s ears fondly, the small cat’s low purr sparking the cat resting on Gajeel's head to begin to purr as well.

With a low curse Gajeel turned his attention back to the pad of paper in front of him. He couldn't even get a measly line down, and he was getting close to just digging through Gray's bags for a lighter and setting the entire fucking building on fire. Notebook included.

He'd save the instruments.

Probably.

Probably not his roommates though.

Gajeel settled for whipping the pencil across the room, sticking lead first between the paneling. Gajeel nodded to himself. Metal as fuck.

Panther Lily meowed in approval.

Happy didn't care. But Gajeel couldn't blame the cat, he probably had brain damage from listening to Natsu blubber over Lucy for months.

Gajeel pulled another pencil from behind his ear, two others pushed into the knot he had put his hair in to get it out of his face. He bit sharply on the end, pencil eraser gone so all he got was the sharp tang of metal and the satisfying crunch of the fake wood.

Maybe that was where his writer's block was coming from. Natsu had been getting his inspiration from love and flowers and other disgusting things so where was he, a true artist with an aversion to love songs, meant to gleam some ideas from? The sky?

Oh the sky looks so blue, he thought, just like your hair. The sun is her headband.

Gajeel sat up straight. No. This would not do. If he started singing about love- an emotion which he had never, for the record, experienced ever- what would he start singing about next? Laughter? Friendship? The joy of learning???

Yeah fucking right.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. This was just a classic case of Overexposure. To Natsu, that is. That moron was so lovey-dovey Gajeel wouldn’t be surprised if he woke in the night to find the hothead kissing his pillow. No, he had to distance himself so that his symptoms wouldn’t worsen. No doubt the idiot would be on his way back any moment now once he’d realised the true scale of his embarrassment.

Gajeel decided to take a walk and stay clear of the drama.

He untangled Lily from his head, holding the black cat in one hand as he scooped the blue one in his other hand. Both meowed in complaint of being moved, limp in his hands as he stood from the bed. He rolled his eyes when he watched them snuggle deeper into the pillow he placed them on, Happy crawling on top of Lily before falling back asleep.

If Gajeel was less of a badass he'd call them cute. But he wasn't, so he shoved his notepad under the thin mattress, grabbed his noise canceling headphones, slung them around his neck as he grabbed his phone and threw open the front door to the cabin.

He was stopped from fully exiting, however, when he bumped into something. He looked around, confused as to what had blocked him.

“Oh um, hello,” a light voice said. Gajeel narrowed his eyes at empty space in front of his face. It was like if he thought about her she just appeared.

“Whatcha want, Shrimp?” Gajeel asked, feeling his lips crack into an unauthorized smile as he looked down. Levy pouted at the -very clever, Gajeel thought- nickname, hands fisting on her hips.

“I have a name you know.” She said pointedly, glaring at Gajeel as she leaned forward. Heh, it was cute how she tried to intimidate him.

Wait.

No. She wasn't cute. Gajeel didn't think anything was cute.

“Yeah. Yer name’s ‘Shrimp’.” Gajeel smirked, patting a hand on her head. Shit, she barely reached his ribcage when he flattened her hair. But damn if it didn't feel soft against his fingers.

“You're messing up my hair!” Levy complained, swatting at his hand. Gajeel it took back with a shrug, grin widening when she muttered as she fixed her bright yellow headband, the colour loud against her bright blue hair. Gajeel wondered if she dyed it. “Dummy.”

“So what brings ya callin’? Need someone to lift you to reach the high shelf?” He teased. She blushed in irritation, huffing as Levy tried to think of a comeback.

“No.” She said, pausing again as she bit her lip. “I was looking for Lucy, and I thought she might be with Gray and Loke. But it looks like they're not here.”

“Well why the hell am I ‘posed to know where those idiots are?” Gajeel questioned, a heavy stone sitting in his gut at Levy’s disappointed face, her frail shoulders dropping.

“We were supposed to go explore the camp together.” Levy said, voice almost a nasally whine. She gave another heavy sigh, slipping her hands into the pockets of her shorts, white cloth peaking out from the short cargo coloured pants. Gajeel thought it was pretty stupid that her pockets were longer than her actual shorts, but he also wasn’t about to tell that to Levy;s face when he could get an eyeful of thigh. Not that Gajeel was looking. Because he wasn’t.

He wasn’t.

“Well if ya promise to not bug me too much I can give you a tour ‘till we find Bunny Girl.” Gajeel grunted, shifting awkwardly on his feet. Why had he done that? The whole point of leaving the cabin was to not think about pretty girls.

Holy fuck he was going to fucking kill Natsu with one of the strings from that stupid red guitar.

“What?” Levy asked, brown eyes wide like a doe’s. Gajeel grunted again, walking past her and down the path.

“It was just a thought.” He said, ducking his head as he lifted his headphones over his ears. Maybe that would hide their burning colour.

“No, no, wait! Thank you, I’d- I’d appreciate that!” Levy called, hurrying to walk beside him. Gajeel looked from the corner of his eye, hesitating before pulling the headphones back to where they wrapped around the back of his neck, tucked under his bun. He stuffed his hands into his jeans, thumbnail rubbing along the pick he kept in his left pocket.

They walked in silence, nerves finally making Gajeel want to punch a tree. This was stupid. He was stupid. What did it matter that he could pick Levy up with one hand, or that she was showing what was probably an obscene amount of skin for a summer camp. Were the rips in the back of her tank top really necessary? Even if they looked metal...

He paid more attention to Levy as they wound their way through the cabin area. Her eyes were focused directly ahead, eyebrows set in concentration. She was taking almost three steps for every step he took. And that was fucking hilarious.

“Havin’ trouble there, Shrimp?” Gajeel asked, widening his stride. He wondered if he could make her run to keep up.

“Well not all of us are so blessed in the height department.” Levy snapped, irritated scowl pulling down her full lower lip and making the bridge of her nose bunch. She gasped when she noticed his longer strides, swatting at his chest with the back of her hand in an offended motion. “You’re doing this on purpose!” She accused, stopping in her spot and crossing her arms to glare at Gajeel.

“Gihii, I don’t know whatcha talkin’ ‘bout Shrimp.” Gajeel drawled, scratching the side of his face as he looked her over. “Ain’t my fault ya got some size envy.”

Levy’s glare finally made a shiver crawl along his spine, and a thought crossed his mind that Levy could very well kick his ass is she wanted to. He had no idea how, but it still felt very true. “I mean, I’m sure bein’ so small could come in handy. Like communicating with the mice that make your clothes.” Gajeel bit his tongue. Why couldn’t he stop teasing her?

“Are you calling me Cinderella or referencing a children’s book?” Levy asked, suspicious as she slowly walked back to his side.

“Uh,” Gajeel stumbled over his words. Shit. “No?”

“Because that book was my favourite when I was a kid,” Levy hummed, tone suddenly light as they began walking again. “I think it was called Everything For Something? Or was it Nothing From Someone?” Levy hummed, tapping a finger on her lips as she spoke. Gajeel twitched with each improper title. Obviously, it was Something From Nothing, but he wasn’t about to say that. He shrugged instead, focusing on the few birch trees in between the maple and harlequin trees, their white and peeling bark standing out in the sea of green.

“Oh well, I’m sure it’ll come to me.” Levy pouted, put out by being unable to trip up Gajeel. He began to pick at the flaking design on his guitar pick in his pocket as silence fell over them again. Why did he care if it was awkward? He didn’t, because that would A; mean he cared at all -which he didn't- and B; that Gajeel felt awkward, which he definitely didn’t. He also didn’t want to hear Levy laugh. She probably snorted like the nerd she was for knowing that reference.

“So how’d ya know Erza?” he asked instead of keeping his fat mouth shut. Maybe he should pick up his bad habit of chewing on his necklace. At least then his fucking voice wouldn’t crack. Not that it cracked. Because Gajeel was past puberty, obviously.

He didn’t know how but he blamed Natsu.

“Oh, I take Judo with Erza, and she teaches a self-defence class I go to sometimes.” Levy said easily. At least Gajeel knew his self preservation instincts were right, if she was in the same class as Erza then she could take his ass in an instant.

“I haven’t seen ya around the city. Though I guess I wouldn’t be looking so close to the ground to notice, gihii-urgh.” Gajeel said, smirk falling as she elbowed him in the spleen. Damn did she have pointy elbows, but Gajeel couldn’t let her know that, so he kept walking, ignoring the throbbing and inability to breath.

“I’m not even that short!” Levy defended.

“Are you over five foot?” Gajeel asked, peering down at her expectantly.

“Four ten and a half.” Levy grumbled under her breath, huffing and looking away when Gajeel cackled loudly. “Shut up. How do you know Erza, anyway? Judging by the way you ran at lunch I’d say you two know each other pretty well.”

Gajeel grit his teeth when he remembered the fiasco that had been completely his cousin’s fault. And his roommates for that matter. “We’ve both been regulars at camp for a couple years, my pink haired dumbass of a cousin too, and we go to East Hill together. If ya think she’s a terror here you don’t even know what she’s like as student president.” Gajeel shivered as he remembered their pep rallies, attendance not optional. “I don’t know how Juvia manages to wring her in.”

Gajeel and Juvia had come up through the same middle school class, both part of a local gang that Juvia’s uncle had run. Igneel had tried to step in, but with Metalicana serving overseas as an army mechanic there had been little chance of Gajeel listening to him. They had both finally left together just before a big bust sent Juvia’s uncle to jail and her on the street, then Gajeel’s house. She had found solace in musical theater while Gajeel had reconnected with Natsu and Igneel, even if he’d never admit to his cousin how much he had helped him. Now Gajeel was set to graduate his metalshop program with honours next year, and Juvia wouldn’t stop bugging him and Natsu to join band and work in the pit for her last performance. As if Gajeel was gonna go anywhere near Erza and her obsession with the stage, even if she was only the stage manager.

“Wow, it seems like everyone here knows one another,” Levy sighed, the two now wandering through the outdoor activity stations. Gajeel raised a pierced eyebrow as he noticed the arrows and bows just laying in the field. Who was the genius that left those out?

“We get new people every year,” he said gruffly, inspecting an arrow off the ground. “Like Bunny Girl and those the dumbass she brought with her.”

“How come you call her Bunny Girl?” Levy asked, wandering to the next station that held bocce balls and lawn markers.

“‘Cus she looks ‘bout as scary as a cotton tailed rabbit.” Gajeel said, head snapping to Levy when he heard a light snicker. Her hand covered her mouth but her dark eyes were dancing, and Gajeel grinned proudly. He'd managed to make her laugh.

“Don't let her hear you say that.” Levy warned, wagging a finger at Gajeel even as she returned his shit eating grin -as his father liked to remind him every time they saw one another. “I'm sure it takes a lot of skill to herd Loke, Gray, and Cana. They're like cats.”

Gajeel scoffed. “Don't insult cats like that.”

Levy laughed openly, clasping her hands behind her back as they wandered past the rock wall and along the path that would lead them to the rehearsal studios. “You're right,” she hummed.

“Hey! I see Juvia!” She said suddenly, gripping Gajeel's wrist as she began a light trot. Gajeel blinked dumbly down at where her tiny hand half encircled his wrist, just above the spike wristband he wore, because it was metal.

“Uh,” he said, like even more of an idiot, letting Levy drag him to where Juvia had begun to wave. He noticed how her hair bounced with each step, light and easily caught in the breeze as it fluttered around her headband. Gajeel was reminded how blue was his favourite colour.

Fuck.

Natsu wondered if he jumped off the stage if the five feet would be enough to kill him.

Probably not.

He debated trying it anyway as Cana sauntered down the steps. Natsu yanked at his headphones, stuffing them in what was already a knotted mess of wires into his hoodie pocket, hands following after he placed the mic on the ground as he tried to will himself to disappear. “So tell me, how’d you switch personalities like that?” Cana asked as she made her way to the stage, crossing her arms on the edge of the elevated floor and looking up at him. “One minute you're the dictionary definition of ‘needs a hug but doesn’t know how to ask for one’ and the next you’re Mr. Rock God, owning the stage like it’s your bitch.”

Natsu choked on his spit, taking a hand out of it’s safety nest to pull his beanie further down his face. Maybe if he just prayed really hard a meteor would fall from the sky, killing him instantly. When a few seconds passed with no such divine intervention, Natsu released the breath he’d been holding and peeked at Cana, who now sat on the edge of the stage, one knee bent as an armrest and the other hanging off the old wood. She raised an eyebrow as more silence passed by them, taking a sip from a flask she had gotten from... somewhere.

“The music, I guess.” Natsu mumbled, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. He knew that Cana was close to Lucy now, and whatever hope he had of not being a total idiot in front of her was gone. Her and Cana were probably going to laugh about it for hours. And Loke. And Gray too, probably.

Fuck.

Maybe he’d just live in the woods for the rest of camp.

“Well you should get that confidence with whatever you do. I haven’t heard someone sing with that much raw talent for years.” Cana said instead, and Natsu almost choked on his spit, again. He stalled under her unexpectedly serious look, head tilted forward as her mouth followed her lowered flask. “It suits you.”

Natsu was struck by the sudden family resemblance between her and Gildarts. The old man had been Natsu’s mentor the last few times he’d been at Fairy Tail, Natsu always feeling easy around him like he did with his own father. He didn’t know why, but seeing the same eyes staring at him from the semi-drunk teenager both calmed and unnerved him.

‘Um, thanks.” Natsu said.

“No prob!” Cana smiled, back to her early cocky smirk. “‘Sides, Lucy loves guys that look like they know what they’re doing, and you have the right amount of innocent virgin that’ll take her off her guard.”

Natsu flushed deeply, stuttering over harsh denials at Cana’s vague hand movements that gestured to, well, him. “I-, I mean I’m not not but I d-don’t see, I- fuckin’ alcoholic!” he finally spat out, glaring at the ground as he hopped from the stage, hands stuffed back into his pocket in fists. His glare snapped to her as she cackled loudly.

“Holy shit, if you could see your face! Relax buddy, no one cares here, duh. It’s a stupid social construct anyway, no need to get your panties in a bunch.” Cana waved off, patting him roughly on the back as she followed suit and pushed off the stage, walking towards the entrance to the arena.

Natsu debated turning on his heel and disappearing to go find a nice cliff to throw himself off of, but decided against it. Who would take care of Fev? Happy was sure to find a good home with one of his cousins, but his guitar? He wouldn’t trust her with anyone but himself.

“Yknow,” Cana began, pulling him from his thoughts, “your performance actually reminded me of someone.”

Natsu raised an eyebrow.

“Who?”

Cana opened her mouth to answer the question, but was interrupted by a very loud, very abrupt, distinctly red-headed-

“YOU THERE! HALT!”

Cana cursed to herself before springing up and grabbing Natsu by the scarf.

“Run for your life you virginal Jared Leto!”

Natsu fought for breath as Cana pulled him along, his feet complying with the harsh jolt from the rest of his body. He glanced behind them just as they slipped backstage to see two people, one with ‘Camp Enforcer’ written on her megaphone in sharpie, running down the steps towards the stage.

Why did he not check the mic was on?!

Eventually Cana let go of him to fumble with the dock on a stage side door. Her steady hand surprised him considering he was pretty sure that flask she'd had not five minutes ago was now empty. Within seconds they were out the door and barricading it behind them.

They ran for another five minutes. Making sure she-who-shall-not-be-named was no longer in pursuit. Cana found the whole endeavor quite hilarious. Natsu, however, was shitting himself. Even if Erza hadn't caught him now, there was no doubt she'd recognized his voice. She would come for him. Maybe not now. Maybe not later. But soon.

She would find him.

Natsu gulped.

“Anyway, what was I saying again?” Cana asked as though they hadn't just finished running for their lives.

“Something about my performance remind you of someone?”

“Oh yeah!”

“Please don't say Gray,” Natsu cut in, “I couldn't live with myself.”

“Oh no, you don't wear nearly enough eyeliner.”

“I don't wear any eyeliner.”

“That's not the point here,” Cana waved her hand flippantly and pulled another, different flash from- well, it had to be thin air bc the girl had no pockets. Or y’know, an actual shirt.

And then she surprised him even more.

“You reminded me of Lucy.”

Natsu froze.

“WHAT?!”

“Have you ever seen her perform.” She insisted, “And I don't mean that fancy-smanshy graceful piano playing- I mean really perform.”

“I-I've never even heard her sing.”

“Well first of all, you're missing out. But second of all,” Cana smiled to herself, “About a year ago Lucy had this huge argument with her Dad. I can't even remember what it was about but fuck- she stayed at my house for a full week. Then all of a sudden, she just went home. Said everything was fine. Loke found out she'd signed up to the talent show the next day, and eventually she all asked for our help in putting her act together. But it was her act. It was the first time she ever went solo.”

Natsu listened with interest, not quite understanding where Cana was going with this.

“She invited her dad. Reserved the best seat in the house for him. And by God, that was the best ‘fuck you’ performance I've ever seen in my life.”

“What did she do?” He was a little afraid to ask.

“She sang Not Ready To Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks and man, country was so unexpected but fuck if she didn't work it.” Cana looked up at the sky, awe in her eyes as she relived the performance. “Played her violin as even more of an ‘in your face, Dad’ point and damn if I didn’t cry tears of joy watching that angry little blonde seeth into the microphone and play her violin to a non classical song. The audience broke into the loudest applause of the night, even if her dad refused to pay for her music lessons afterwards.”

Natsu stumbled over a stone. “He stopped her from playing and singing because she was mad at him?” Natsu asked, horrified. He and Igneel had gotten into a few screaming matches about his attitude when he was younger, sure, but the thought that Igneel would ever deny him a part of himself, Natsu just couldn’t imagine a parent doing that.

“Pssh, as if. Nah, Lucy used the allowance she had been saving and applied for scholarships for the programs. Got in too, when she proved that her father refused to support her.” Cana brushed off, turning over the empty flask and pouting as it solidified her lack of prohibited drink.

“Oh,” Natsu said. Real smart. Cana’s telling him about a major moment in Lucy’s life and all he can say is ‘oh’. Still better than being caught by Erza though, so Natsu would take it. He looked around as they met the main path that led in a loop around camp, pale gravel reassuring as it meant he was only a few minutes away from being able to hide in his cabin for the next 48 hours.

“Shit.”

Natsu was being yanked by his scarf -again- before he could ask what Cana had seen, forced to look at the bulletin board that would house the weeks’ themes once they were released. Right now though, it held bulletins for school opportunities, programs, concerts, scholarships, and dead center; a poster for a karaoke night happening at the camp fire after sundown tomorrow.

“You two! Have you seen anyone run by here?” A voice called behind them, Natsu feeling his soul try to escape via puking and every nerve in his body fighting between ‘run for your life’ or ‘lay down and accept your fate’.

“No idea what you’re talkin’ ‘bout Erza,” Cana drawled, perfectly playing the clueless camper role. “But if you see who had just been singing tell them congrats on the record deal quality voice.”

Natsu blushed at the compliment, hands fisted tight in his pockets and struggling to concentrate on the board. There was no way she meant that. Natsu had an average level voice, at best. Now, if he could show off his guitar skills, then maybe she would tell Lucy about it...

“I will tell them that the stage is off limits territory when not during an event.” Erza snapped, obviously irritated at missing her victims. Aka, Natsu. “What are you two doing here anyway?” she asked, squinting when Natsu finally turned to look at her over his shoulder.

“Just checking out the opportunities on the board!” Natsu said, voice cracking and sending him burrowing into his scarf.

“Yeah, I was just convincing Natsu here to do karaoke night! Can't keep all this talent hidden behind a dumbass beanie!” Cana added eagerly, slinging an arm around his shoulders and somehow dislodging his ‘dumbass’ hat. Natsu squawked as he lunged for the grey beanie, too late to do anything else but clutch it to his chest.

“Damn! What bet did you lose?” Cana guffawed. Natsu shrank under her laughter and tried to elbow her arm off his shoulders. Why was she the same height as him?

“It's just my hair,” he grumbled.

“It's a good thing Lucy's favourite colour is pink then, eh?” Cana continued to tease, grinning at Erza. “But really, this can't be his actual hair colour.”

“It is.” Erza said with a small smile at Natsu. “And I think it suits him. I will see you both at campfire tonight! I'm looking forward to hearing what you choose to perform tomorrow Natsu.”

Natsu watched blankly as Erza and a girl with purply black hair and a deadly stare stalked off. “What the fuck?” Natsu hissed, shoving off Cana roughly and yanking his beanie over his head.

“Aw cmon, don't be so sensitive.” Cana rolled her eyes. “Besides, she bought it!”

“Now I have to sing at that stupid karaoke thing.” Natsu grumbled. What if there were no good songs, or if his voice cracked. Sure Natsu could sing in the shower, but he'd never actually sang in front of people.

He wanted to put his head through the cork board. Why was he acting so insecure? He was Natsu Dragneel, son of Igneel Dragneel, renowned rescue helicopter pilot. He could do anything he put his mind to.

Except talk to pretty girls like Lucy apparently.

“Well, if you do manage to find the balls to get on stage, try and pick a song you know in your sleep. Or come see me for a confidence boost recipe.” Cana winked, wagging her empty bottle beside her head.

“Erm...” Natsu said, helpfully. What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

Playlist:

Stuck In The Middle - Boys Like Girls

The Anthem - Good Charlotte

Separate Songs - Restorations

Closer to the Edge - 30 Seconds To Mars

Not Ready To Make Nice -Dixie Chicks

March Into The Sun - Echosmith

#ftfanfics #nalu #gajevy #fairy tail #natsu dragneel #Gajeel Redfox #Levy McGarden #erza scarlet #dos #just any writing #not just any nobody collab #song fic #summer camp au #days of summer #these NERDS

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jo-the-schmo · 8 years ago

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Breaking... Ch.17

Masterlist (will update for needed parts soon)

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

A/N: Bet you weren’t expecting this so soon were ya? Aren’t I just full of surprises? I never sleep!!!!! Also I tried something new with the tags so hopefully it works!! I regret nothing

Wordcount: 2016 (neat)

Warnings: Fluff, cute, then blood

Tags!: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty@meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips@sweaterkitty-fluff@pinkyiger7@littlemissshortcakes@msageofenlightenment@unprofessional-inhumanbeing@fandom-panda-221@hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple@ashwolfcub@myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate@superwholockbooknerd526@frozengal2013@lmaodedhaha@itsmikayblr@sarmar29 @arya-durin-77 @phantastic-fandoms@hoshihime98@shinigamired @martapetrovic @robotic-space@iamnotthrowingawaymyshit2(lol) @asprinkleofmermaids @pinkyiger7(I’m tagging you twice my friend!) @satellitesuga @rose-coloured-nihilism @okie-dokie-artichokeme (I love your URL omg)

if anyone else wants to be tagged just send me an ask!

Breaking Agreements

Johnny tugged at the bottom of your dress, trying to get your attention.

“Mama says we should give your present now, I’ll go get my drum.” It took you a moment to realize what you were talking about. Aww I did say this would be better with a drum! Angie interlocked your arms once more.

“Come on everyone! TT, Mama and I have something to you in the music room!” AJ and Jaime got up off the ground and ran toward the hall where Eliza was already heading. You saw Johnny slowly going down the stairs, his little snare and sticks in hand, being careful not to drop anything. Wow, he got that fast! He must be excited! Angie pulled on your arm. “Let’s go TT!” Alex stood up and patted his daughter on the head.

“I’ll go with you, sunshine girl, follow me.” Alex winked at Philip who was standing behind you. What was that about?

“Okay, Daddy!” Angie let go of your arm, her and Alex walked off to the hallway, well actually, Angie skipped but not the point. You felt something touch your waist, the same thing press against your back lightly.

“Have you already forgotten about me, ma petite chou?” Philip whispered in your ear. You jumped slightly, turned yourself around, your face heating up all over again.

“Why you have to go and call me a cabbage like that?” You blurted out, he chuckled softly.

“You are quite radiant when you’re flustered, my star.” He smiled. “I have a gift for you as well, but you will have to find it after I see yours.” He turned you back around, keeping his hand on your waist while leading you forward.

“I have to find it? What does that even mean?” You asked with intrigue.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” He spoke softly. As you finished squealing internally you approached the music room door. The two of you walked in together, everyone already ready and waiting. Eliza was seated at the piano, Angie and Johnny were standing on opposite sides of her. Johnny already had the strap on his drum secured, the drum leaning on his side. AJ, Jamie and Alex were sitting on the small couch closest to the piano.

“Took you two long enough!” AJ exclaimed.

“What’s going on anyway?” Alexander asked.

“We just have something very special to show you all!” Eliza smiled.

“I’ll go stand by father.” Philip informed. You were suddenly struck with an idea, as he walked away you snatched his hat off his head once more. He turned around with surprise. “Do you have a thing with stealing my hats now?” He asked and you smiled deviously.

“I need it for something, I am about to do something great!” You laid the hat on top of your head and made it point up slightly. I shall now become George Washington; I’m going to make Chris Jackson proud! You trotted over to the middle of the room while Philip walked past you and sat next to Alex. You cleared your throat. “Is everyone ready?” You asked and were met with several yeses. Eliza got ready on the piano.

“Alright Angie, John; Un…deux…trois!” She stared with the first chord and you began your song.

“I was still older than you all now, when I gave myself a command. I may have led myself straight into a massacre, I have witnessed death first hand. I made every mistake and felt the shame rise in me. And even now I lie awake knowing history has its eyes on me.”

(Whoa…whoa, whoa…) Angie and Johnny sang along, Johnny tapping his drum lightly.

“History has its eyes on me…” You stepped slowly over to the couch, stopping in front of it and putting one arm behind your back. “Let me tell you what I wish I’d known, now that I know love and dream of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story!” You patted Jamie and AJ on the head, smiled at Alex and stepped toward Philip. “I know that we can win, I know that greatness lies in you! Because you’ve taught me from here on in, history has its eyes on you!”

(History has its eyes on you!) They held out. Everyone began to clap and Eliza turned her gaze toward you.

“That was our best run yet!” She exclaimed. You looked down at Philip.

“What’d you think, Sunshine?” He stared up at you, silent for a moment. “Philly?”

“I think…you have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in my entire life! And you look better in my hat than I do! And I look really good in that hat, so.” He stood up, brought his hands to both sides of your face, pushing the hair out of the way. His fingers grazed your cheeks and made your skin tingle. You saw his eyes dart from your right eyes, to your left and then down to your lips. Oh my God, is he going to…? OH MY GOD THIS IS HAPPENING! What do I do?! Do I lean in? Do I stay still?! His eyes kept moving in the triangle pattern as his face came a little closer to yours. Before you could actually do anything, you felt the hat on your head be lifted up. You looked to the side to see Angie placing it on top of her own head, it was far too big on her but the feather fit her style more than Philip’s.

“Oh, look at me! I’m Philip Hamilton! After all these years, I have found my beloved! Mon amour! Ma petite chou!” She put her hands on her cheeks and made teasing kissing noises. FUCKING SHIT! ANGIE I LOVE YOU BUT NOW WAS NOT THE TIME! “You know…I quite like this hat. It makes me look like a leader!” She put her hands on her hips proudly. She tipped the hat up and skipped away, sticking her tongue out as she went. Everyone else just sort of collectively looked at each other and got up.

“Well! Time to get some tea!” Alex clapped, almost signaling for everyone to leave, and they did, leaving you and Philip alone to stew in the awkward remnants of what just happened. Both of you simultaneously took a step back from each other, red faced and mumbling. It was terrible.

“Uh, so yeah um, that uh…”

“Yeah, um…so what did you say about needing to find a present earlier?” You laughed nervously, trying to change the topic. Make this torture end!

“Right! That! Well, you’ll have to find it! I’ll tell you which room it’s in but that’s the only hint you’ll get okay?” You nodded and followed him as he walked out of the room, into the hall. “It’s in the study, let’s go!” The two of you quickly made your way over to the study doors and let yourselves inside. If I were Philip, where would I hide a present? Considering you were the smarty pants that you were, it didn’t take much effort for you to figure it’s in Alex’s immense Shakespeare collection. You went over and examined the shelves scrupulously. All’s Well Ends Well, As You Like It, Anthony and Cleopatra, Cornelius, Hamlet, King John, Love’s Labour’s Lost, Macbeth, Merry Wives of Windsor, Midsummer Night’s Dream, Othello, Romeo and Juliet, Midsummer Night’s Dream, A Winter’s Tale- You stopped. Wait a second. You took a second look and found what made you take a double take. Two copies of Midsummer Night’s dream. The one you recognized had gold text but the new one was more silver looking. You picked it off the shelf. “Damn, you found that fast, Star!” Philip exclaimed, leaning against the bookshelf.

“You…you got me my favorite…” You whispered in disbelief.

“Yes, I thought it must be a bit annoying not being able to take it over to your room… I was buying books for school, saw this and knew you had to have it…” He scratched restlessly. “B-But that’s not all! There’s a page marked in there! Well a few actually…Go ahead and open it!” You opened the cover and the pages bump up slightly, you flipped to where this bump ended and saw something. A pressed, slightly discolored pick of baby’s breath. You looked up at Philip.

“Is…is this…?”

“The same flower from our night in the garden? Yes, it is. But that’s not the best part, look at what I marked.” He instructed, you looked back down at the page, moving the wildflower out of the way.

Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,

Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend

More than cool reason ever comprehends.

The lunatic, the lover and the poet

Are of imagination all compact:

One sees more devils than vast hell can hold,

That is, the madman: the lover, all as frantic,

Sees Helen’s beauty in a brow of Egypt:

The poet’s eye, in fine frenzy rolling,

Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven;

And as imagination bodies forth

The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen

Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing

A local habitation and a name.

You looked back up at Philip, slightly confused. “A lover and a madmen are quite similar, what changes them is how they are written. You have faced many madmen, and they will be written as such. However, I will never be your madman. I will write and fight and shape what I am, if it would make you smile. Someday, you will blow us all away, because you blow me away every moment I’m with you.” You look up and see Philip’s face and he is helpless. And his eyes are just helpless. There were so many things you wanted to say, so many things you wanted to do in that moment… You felt a ping rush through your head. No…Not now! Not again! Your head was aching and you felt your pupils dilate over and over again. You felt your hands shaking and looked down at the holding the book. The pages were now old and withered, no longer brand new but the baby’s breath looked like it had just been plucked from the garden. Looking past the book you saw grass on the ground, the wood flooring completely gone. You dropped the book and raised your gaze toward Philip. The sight was familiar but that didn’t make it any less horrifying. There was a pistol in his hand, blood all over his arms and right side, his stare looked blank.

“Phil…ip…s-sunshi….ne” You tried to yell, to cry out, to do something but the blood in your veins was boiling and it made your head feel like it was burning alive.

“I held my head up high…” He said with a gaunt expression. There was a voice, you didn’t recognize it but it sounded masculine.

“Madman, madman, madman, madman, madman, madman, madman. Lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover. Change, change, change, change, change, change, change.” It kept bouncing around in your head, it pushed through your skull and back in again.

“But even before we got to ten…” Philip whispered again. You looked past him and saw figures in black, you couldn’t identify them because they were running back and forth but you could hear the voices. You always did.

“Where is my son?”

“Who did this? Alexander did you know?”

“Stop! You won’t take me! Philip! I need you! Help me!”

“Sept, sept, sept, sept, sept, sept, sept…” Philip mulled.

“Is he alive?”

A blood curdling scream.

“I am not traumatized! I love her! RoseMary! Save me!”

You felt something wet drip down your face and felt yourself lose sight from your right eye, then your left. In this black abyss, it is the only place you’re truly safe, a place of in between. There was nothing there, no one could hurt you, no one could harm those you loved. As long as you were in that Purgatory, nothing wrong could be done. But you always had to wake up.

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kbrown78 · 6 years ago

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My Thoughts: Ice Like Fire by Sara Raasch

Continuing immediately after the events in Snow Like Ashes, this sequel totally ups the stakes and improves almost every aspect of the previous book. Looking back, I really loved this book. It's not perfect, the villains are weak and it's a bit predictable, but the characters are amazing, the world doesn't feel like a typical YA fantasy, and the themes are well addressed in this book.

World building: In the previous book I liked what I saw of the world, but there wasn't much to go off of. This book vastly builds on what was previously shown and creates new material too. In this book Meira travels to seven of the eight kingdoms, and what I loved about them was the each one felt distinct and unique, and I could tell each one apart. Ventralli people wear masks and focuses on the arts. Yakim focuses on knowledge, and has something like a meritocracy. Summer is a brazen desert and it's cities are in a constant party. Honestly it's more like an orgy, considering Meira first the Summer King Simon in a brothel. That's another thing I liked about this world, was that it shows the darker aspects like slavery and brothels, but it doesn't focus on them and deter from the main story. I also liked that there wasn't just male rulers, there are also female ones, like Meira, and they're never shamed for being a female ruler. Part of this is due to in some kingdoms female rulers are the ones able to wield their conduit, but that's good that it wasn't all male in the first place. There's also a secret group called the Order of the Lustrate, from the kingdom of Paisly (which is the only one that Meira didn't go to), that knows everything about magic and their world's history. This group started out as small piece of the plot but becomes pretty important in the last chapter of the book.

Characters: Like the previous book, Meira was one of the best things in this book. Meira is a complex character who is now in the position of queen, which she never expected to be in. Since her country is still recovering from Spring's invasion, she has to balance out what is best for her country, but is still stubborn and wants to do things her way sometimes. On her quest to end magic, she starts to become afraid of herself and her magic, and starts isolating herself from friends to protect them. She get's called out one this and pretty quickly realizes the error of her ways and changes. So she is someone has a strong sense of morality, cares deeply about her people, is a strong character but isn't ashamed to get help from those around her, and is a well rounded character. We don't see as much of her fighting in this one, which I liked because it showed that she is still capable of being interesting and getting things done without fighting. I really loved her! In this book, Mather gets his own perspective and while I certainly enjoyed reading from his POV, I don't think it contributed anything new to his character. He, like Meira, is struggling with his new reality but he has a strong sense of duty and honor, so he always tries to do what is right in whatever position he is in. Next are the two most prevalent side characters, Ceridwen and Theron. In the previous book, Theron is a kind hearted prince who also tries to work for the greater good and is also depicted as fairly intelligent. In the start of this book, he still suffers from the trauma Angra caused him, and believes the solution to end all the corruption is to let everyone have magic, even though Meira makes it clear she thinks this is a bad idea. This is what causes him to be corrupt because him and Angra have similar back stories in that their mother's died because of their fathers, and both felt that magic was the only solution. In the end it's kind of revealed that Theron's good intentions were what allowed him to be corrupted by the Decay, and because he still believes he is doing the right thing he can't be healed. So I found that an interesting take on his character because he isn't exactly regressing, the readers are just being shown the flaws in his characteristics and philosophy. Now Ceridwen is the princess of Summer, and is unable to wield their conduit. She's honestly like a more extreme version of Meira. She is a fighter, doesn't care what people think of her as long as she achieves her goals, and has a very strong sense of morality (almost black and white). She works to help free slaves, doesn't like to indulge in brothers parties but knows she has to only to avoid suspension, and her best friend is her male servant (who is also gay). I like the Children of the Thaw, a young group of rebels who aren't willing to lay down as Cordell takes over Winter, I liked Nessa's family (can't remember their names), and I liked Alysson because it's revealed almost too late that there is more to her than meets the eye, and she a back ground mother. Giselle, the Queen of Yakim, is an intersting character, because she believes in a system of merits but is rather strict and unapologetic about the choices she makes, like selling slaves. She's also fairly intelligent and I hope that there is more of her in the third book because I could see her being a valuable ally. The last one the side character I liked was King Jesse, Ventralli king. He's usually described as weak, and doesn't want to use his conduit for any reason. This allows his snake of wife Raelyn, to usurp him. But for those he cares about, like Ceridwen and his children, Jesse is willing to be strong and take control. The characters that I didn't like include Sir (for reason's I've already talked about), Noam (just a greedy bastard who needed to die), and Raelyn (so evil and it's unclear as to how exactly she was able to gain power).

Relationships: So in the previous book, there wasn't much romance, and in this one romance still wasn't the focus, but it came in the form of a love triangle that I actually enjoyed. In this one there is still that love triangle going on, but it becomes pretty obvious that Mather and Meira are going to be end game. I was okay with this because Theron was doing some shitty things and started acting pretty possessive of Meira and kissing her when she was mad at all the backstabbing he's been doing, but I didn't enjoy the love trangle aspect because of how obvious it was that Mather and Meira are going to end up together. Don't get me wrong, I like them together but I just don't have a strong emotional pull for them. There's also the forbidden romance between Ceridwen and King Jesse, and it's clear the Ceridwen and his children is the only thing Jesse really cares about, but again I wasn't pulling for them. The familial bonds became more relevant in this book, and I'm not sure how I feel about them. Starting with Meira and Hannah, Hannah also didn't want to treat Meira like a person, let alone her own child, and went from wanting Meira to die with her in the past to using her to fix her mistakes in the present. Also all communication between the two is through some kind of weird magic bond, so this is an odd relationship that borders on toxic. Next is Mather, who is actually the son of Sir and Alysson. Sir is a terrible father, no surprise there, but Alysson actually cares for Mather and supports him where ever she can. Unfortunately that relationship isn't really developed because Alysson gets killed off right as Mather is starting to really see what an amazing mother she could be. There also a point in the story where Mather has to pick between the Children of the Thaw and obeying his father, and he chooses the Children of the Thaw, so that speaks volume about their relationships. Lastly there's Theron's relationship with his father Noam. Noam is obviously a greedy piece of shit, but Theron still defends him but in the climax, when Theron is fully possessed, he kills his own father, so that's just a little messed up. Overall I think the familial aspects in this book were weak. Onto my favorite relationships in the entire series, the friendships. I loved the friendship between Meira and Nessa because while Nessa is an innocent side character, who also has a great relationship with her brothers, and Meira clearly cares about her and wants her to have a life in peace, Nessa is the one to call Meira out on how she is “protecting” everyone by cutting them off and that that's wrong because it's their life to choose what they do with it and sometimes you need support to get through your struggles. Meira and Ceridwen's friendship was another one I liked because they are quite similar and want what is best for their people, but at first they aren't sure if they can trust each other because they have to approach their goals peace and freedom in different ways, so this also felt like a well fleshed out relationship where it wasn't just about serving one person. They also struggle with being Season rulers in love with Conduit rulers, and the difficulties that come with romance. For Mather, he also develops a quick friendship with Phil, who introduces him to the rest of the Children of the Thaw, and I love bands of underdog rebels. While the members aren't all as well developed as Meira's group of friends, they at least have their own identity and the ones that are unlikable, like Kiefer, have good reasons to be unlikable and I don't hate them.

Writing: In this book the themes were much more prevalent then in the previous book. The biggest one is power and how magic and choices equate to power. There are clearly rulers who use their position and magic for their own selfish gains, and if common people had magic than those corrupt rulers could be kept in check, but Meira knows that letting everyone have magic isn't the answer either because small evil acts build up into something toxic. But there's also the other extreme end with Jesse, who is able to wield his conduit but refuses to, so his evil wife is then able to take control because she is willing to give orders and their citizens listen to her despite the fact that she doesn't have any magic. So where does the power lie? Well the solution that the book offers to this question is that a person's individual choice is true power, and doesn't require. Another important theme was the recovering process from atrocities. Many of the older Winterians, like Sir, think that ignoring what happened and not starting any fights is the way things need to be, but the younger generation want to fight off Cordell to keep the kingdom that they just won back. Like the previous issue, both sides have pros and cons, so it's about trying to find that balance. The Thaw ultimately conclude that in order to heal and break out of their frozen state, they need to let go of the past and fight for the future. I don't like how this issue was handled as well as the previous one because Cordell was obviously corrupt from the beginning, so letting them take more and more power in Winter was just Sir being in denial that Cordell wasn't going to be another Spring. I think there is also an underlying theme of balance, which might be explored more in the last book. I think that the topics presented in this book are deep and relevant issues and I thought they were discussed in a good way as the book progressed. This book is in dual perspective, Meira and Mather's, and this was also done well because each voice felt unique and contributed important points to the plot. There was also improved diversity in this book, with more POCs and a relevant homosexual character, which was also an improvement from the previous book.

Dislikes: There wasn't a lot that I disliked about the previous book, and I think there was even less that I disliked about this book. Most of the things I did have issues with were continuing from the previous book but I wasn't as bugged by that as I could be because I both think it was well handled but also because I was more willing to forgive it. The first issues was how predictable the story was, especially with the villains, but Angra still actually being alive was a twist I didn't entirely see coming, but Theron being corrupted was pretty obvious. The other thing that frustrated me to no end was Sir. I just cannot stand this guy. He essential made it so that Cordell could take control of Winter, is still condescending to everyone around him (particularly Meira and Mather), and shows no remorse over this. Like I kind of wished he had stayed dead in the previous book.

Final Thoughts: I really loved this book. It wasn't quite a 5 star read, but it was so good that I went out and bought the final book so I could just marathon read the entire series. Also having now completed the series, this one is definitely my favorite book in the series.

#my thoughts #book review #ice like fire #sara raasch

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