#too many things to remember and elements ro pull together i am really simply paralyzed
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#today was kind of a good day and kind of a bad day#i don't want to complain about loneliness or being alone#actually im not i have quite a lot of frenemies#and i have my telepathy buddies the one or two of them#and i have my eunoch advisors#and the patriarchs...#tho i really can't stomach those anymore#no more patriarchs just friendly friars#and feminized unproblematic dandies#i feel awful guilt#and terrible lack of motivation#it is truly the dog days#but this means September is ahead a d turning the bend entering the most mystical faltime season#i am not even totally sure if i will survive until then#too many things to remember and elements ro pull together i am really simply paralyzed#and crying is such a relief because then at least something is moving#water is rolling and flowing#also#i realized today i was chasing two or more hares and decided to give up all but one#that was a huge relief#i simply dont need everything that i want#if i can hardly take care of whaf i already have
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