#too many ships tags to fcking bother

[kings-highway]

my totally 100% correct opinion on which haikyuu ships would go canon if it were heterosexual

Kagehina: yes. regardless of which of them were a girl. however they would not get together within the canon of the show but have 1 or 2 almost kisses and then after the series ended you'd find out they got married. Like there'd be 2 lines total talking about them getting married and thats it.

Tsukkiyama: yes. regardless of which of them were a girl. they'd be together at the start of the series and be a relatively boring couple basically just there to make weird heteronormative quips (if yamaguchi were the girl, tsukki would roll his eyes a lot at having to go shopping, etc, and if tsukki were the girl, yamaguchi would be way too insecure about other guys looking at her) BUT late in the series there would be a short arc dedicated to them breaking up and then immediately getting back together and I hate to tell you, it would be cute.

Daisuga: my heart and soul - not in any fucking universe. I dont think there would even be jokes or innuendos about it. I think if Suga were the girl there would even be moments of Daichi like straight up not realizing it. "wdym you cant change with us???" bitches are the Pillars of Reliability for Karasuno they wouldnt bother giving them relationships.

Asanoya: if noya were the girl, yes. If Asahi were the girl, no. Noya could be a fiesty little girlfriend but they'd be too chicken to give a short man a big, bashful ladyfriend and that is the ONLY reason they wouldnt be canon.

Iwaoi: sorry to break it to you but probably not. the writers would be pouting and slamming their fists around like "nooooo they see each other like siblings, we wanted to show male-female friendships were possibleeeeee." however I think the chances would be slightly higher if Iwa were the girl. In that annoying tsundere way of "oh she's never going to admit she likes the guy everyone else also likes" but it would probably only be implied, never canon.

Kyohaba: yes! if Yahaba was the girl. Their entire thing would be switched to "kyotani finding a girl who smacks him around and decides to devote himself to her" where Yabaha would pretend she hates it. Less chance if Kyotani were the girl but I suppose not impossible.

Ushiten: Complicated. I think in general if they were male-female their friendship would play a bigger role. But it would be canon if Ushijima were a girl. Only because of the double standard for women. In the same way that all women characters eventually have children even if they claim they dont like them initially, I think the writers would be too chicken to let a woman be mean and formidable and stern and they would have to temper her with her quirky, ecclectic best friend/boyfriend to make sure people understand she's still Woman. They would be canon within the actual text and not just implied/afterwards but it would only be given enough screen time to establish Ushijima as a feminine woman and then be forgotten so Ushijima could proceed to beat the shit out of whatever team they were up against next. However if Tendou were the girl she would 100% have an overt and obvious crush on Ushijima (probably literally saying she was in love with him out loud) BUT they would let Ushijima keep his intensity and it would only serve to make Tendou quirkier and/or played as a joke, it wouldnt be canon.

Arankita: No! Only because if Kita were a girl, Atsukita would be canon. And I think if Aran were a girl, they would be given a much stronger Best Friends energy in that "male-female friendship" way. both a female kita or a female aran would still be "one of the boys."

Bonus: Atsukita: Yes, but only in promotional media or extras, they wouldnt give screen time to it. Like there'd be a bunch of promotional stuff of like Atsumu picking Kita up or teasing her. yknow.

Bokuaka: Yes, obviously, geez. Doesnt matter which is the girl. Thet would already be in a relationship from the time theyre introduced.

Kuroken: Yes, but they wouldnt get together. It would be like a slow burn where they keep looking at each other with flowers in the background, but it would feel like the writers forgot to put them together. Like the series would end and everyone would go "huh. weird we never got a kuroken confession but alright" No kisses, no hand holding, but like 12 extra minutes of gazing at each other and blushing. But only if Kenma was the girl. If Kuroo was the girl they'd be too chicken á la Asanoya and would instead pull an Iwaoi.

Rarepairs as a general rule are a "No" just due to them not being canon for reasons unrelated to gender, however, I want to shoutout these rarepairs:

Kogagoshi: Wouldnt be canon due to not enough screen time, but regardless of who was the girl, Kogane would have been used as a joke developing a spontaneous crush on Goshiki for the camp that is basically just there for comedic relief

Kenhina: regardless of who was the girl this would be an UNBERABLE implied attraction that serves only to create drama between Kagehina. Like nobody who's read love stories with love triangles before would ever think theyd end up together but the writers would try their fucking best to convince you this was plausible over the obviously intended endgame of kageyama.

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anyway thats just my opinion but Im right so 😌

xx

[saitouh]

‪You blacklisted me 4-5 years ago???? holy shit, really???  This is you  ↓ 

 Reblogging me in 2015. This was 3 yrs ago, aero. 

“4-5 years ago” ???? that’s a lie. u don’t even know your own fcking timeline. I blocked your ass first so that you can no longer reblog from me. I didn’t want to see your stupid ass username in my notes. I also didn’t want you to give me 50 more likes and reblogs from your followers that i never asked for. And most important of all, so that i no longer have to see your shit opinions in tsukuyo’s tag.

Did u think i would be grateful to u or something just bc u gave me more notes on my posts? Whatever, I don’t make that many gifs. 

I didn’t need the notes for whatever, not when you were playing “fake” to be nice but then gaslighted and attacked other ppl who have called u out on your shit. 

Do you think I’m like piduai who’s obsessed with notes? 

omfg. “I HAVE MORE NOTES THAN HER ACTUAL FANS!!!” 

NOTES. 

WOW. 

Because your BFF aero reblogged you? And boom. Chain reaction. Would this sense of validation last you a lifetime? 

Get over yourself, aero. No one is stalking you. You are a large blog with 723113 garbage posts flooding the gintama tags. You show up on the main page. On almost everyone’s dash. Who needs to stalk a damn narcissistic exhibitionist when they show up everywhere??? 

You always, always claim u don’t bother with me, and yet u always, ALWAYS reply to “anons” who, for some reason knows about me (just…how)? 

“im largely unaffected by her, SO MANY GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!”

Ooooo

ofc you are unaffected by me. so unaffected u have to link every single “anon” to every post u made in response to me everytime i drop a post. yes, so many good things are happening. movies, contracts, SCHOOL! tumblr!!! don’t forget the zines!!! bizarre.

i remember going “what the fck” when u told other people that i was jealous of you for organizing zines. (i had no idea what they were) and i remember saying, dude, i would prefer if you could do your zines whatever all year round if that would help take up all of your time so u stop bitching about tsukuyo and a ship that has NOTHING to do with you. 

it was then some people told me that you claim to be also a published author, you have contracts and movies and whatever, and full time student!!! and you’re on tumblr answering every single fcking ask with massive walls of texts!!! i started thinking, holy shit how the fck could anyone have all that time? don’t authors need to promote their books? dont authors work around the publisher’s schedule? but nah u dont seem to be doing any of those things. what about exams? assignments? practicals? midterms? u don’t seem to be doing any of those things, either. you don’t seem like you’re sticking to any school year calendar from any part of the world that people are familiar with. and you have your own fandom about your books already!!! 

yet you spend more time on here, talking about a japanese work that isn’t yours, and give long-winded opinions (really shit opinions) every single day. every day. and answering sooo many anon asks!!!! sending messages to people!!!! writing massive walls of texts!!! LMAO 

and now you’re trying your hardest to reblog tsukuyo-related things. and make edits of her and reblog gintsuki now!!!!

????? 

why wouldn’t an actual paid author focus more on their own work and brand is beyond me. and u are required to STAY as an anonymous author, too? lmao… it’s such… bs. the people who believe in your shit are truly gullible to a T. 

You claim to be “rarely here”, but u always immediately reblog new art, send messages to people, answer shit, keep tabs on things. “Oh anon, i don’t care about her and i don’t know” <– your template that’s always published after i have a new post. 

u’re so full of shit.

piduai is also having a blast stalking me everyday. i remember she said for 23422389204 times, “this is the LAAAAST time i’m talking to u, this is the last time i’d look at you, this is the last time i’d address you” OK BITCH BUT WHEN THE FCK WILL IT BE YOUR LAST TIME? you all look so fcking ridiculous. OMG I JUST USED THE “R” WORD. someone pls call the woke police.

i swear u guys are like potheads with a serious addiction problem. 

LASTLY