#too many good moments here they were pure chaos throughout the whole interview really

[charlie-rulerofhell]

when you‘re trying to have a nice chat but you‘ve invited chaos to the table

inspired by @bornforbvrning's post

[mysticalrunawayprincess]

Everything He Ever Wanted

Hi Guys! This is a new Jay Park fanfic I’m working on (because we are in a serious shortage and us girls need our fantasy fix!) Its about Jay falling in love and wanting to settle down, and all the headache and heartache that ensues (cue lots of angst, sexy times and love :P). I post the stories on Wattpad as I’m not sure if I’d be able to post the full story on here (Tumblr guidelines and stuff) but I am going to be posting the first chapter here and then every time I publish a new chapter I’ll post the links for you to read. The story is for 18ANDOVER! If you are not 18 this story isn’t for you (sorry). And Jay if you are reading this: its pure fantastical fiction! I don’t mean to embarrass or cast aspersions on you in any kind of way. If you are reading this (PLEASE dont lol), I hope I did your fantasy character justice :P. For the rest of you, happy reading!

Oh BTW: New Chapters every Friday, but you get this one a day early just because I love y’all!!! xxxxxxxxxx

1. Home Is Where The Heart was

An exhausted sigh left Jay's lips in a rush, as he entered through the  open door and dropped his bags on the heated marble flooring.

Having been away on tour for 6 weeks Jay had a lot of bags to carry; all heavy, all full of laundry.

He paused and took a breath in, savouring the smell of home, the smell of Her.

She  hadn't been home in a long time. This was no longer to be Her home;  hell it hadn't even been Her "home" for longer than a few weeks, most of  which she had spent elsewhere (or rather somewhere else). But since She  had been the last person in the house before Jay had left for the tour,  Her scent still lingered. And it was this scent that invaded Jay's  senses, coiling around his synapses and holding them at ransom as his  mind cast back to the last moment he saw Her.

Jay stood watching   Her leave through the polished glass doors of his office building, Her   words still ringing in his ears like a death knell, "We can't do this   any more Jay, I have to go back and live my life..." She took a pause   here, her perfectly soft and plump lips quivering momentarily, almost as  if to hold Her back from completing the sentence,"... and you have to live yours."

Now the thing is, when Jay first saw Her walk  through the doors; Her soft hair in which he loved to bury his face now  framing Her face in a twist-out that beautifully rippled in the light  breeze of the evening night air as She stepped through the glass door,  his heart had soared and swooped the same way it did every day since the  very first day he had seen Her.

His face broke into an  unstoppable smile as he outstretched his arms to embrace Her,   automatically breathing in Her scent as She stepped into his embrace,   clinging to him as though She would be otherwise flung into the furthest  reaches of space.

Jay hadn't noticed the shine of unshed tears  demanding to be released. He hadn't noticed the taxi outside, and he  certainly didn't know that it was taking Her to the airport.

He was oh-so blissfully unaware of  all of these little details.

She had been going back and forth with this for weeks, months even, ever  since  their relationship had first begun showing signs of becoming  more serious (unbeknownst to Jay). And try as She might, She knew this  couldn't work; there were too many moving parts, too many things to  consider and too many sacrifices to be made. She thought it best that  She end this now before it got too serious and whilst they were still  able to at least salvage some sort of friendship from the wreckage.

Noticing She was lost in thought, Jay nudged Her, asking if She were OK.

Now  on the way over here, She had already told herself  that She wasn't  going to cry and do the whole melodramatic stuff; that She was going to  keep it light and factual and hoped he would understand.

And so  when She quickly lifted Her head to meet his eye, Her face had already  settled into a bright and easy smile, belying the ton of bricks that She  was about to drop onto the smitten and unsuspecting Jay Park.

Now,  as he watched Her leave after begging Her to reconsider ("... you don't  have to do this..."). His heart beat harder with every step She took   to the waiting cab outside. He was frozen helpless, unable to stop this  series of Very Unfortunate and Fucked Up Events.

He watched the taxi drive away, taking with it the only piece of true happiness that he had ever felt in a long, long time.

And he had let it happen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The  vibration of Jay's phone broke him out of his reverie with a snap. He  thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled it out, glancing at the  screen as he made his way to the kitchen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

He paused with his hand on the handle of the refrigerator, his thumb hovering indecisively over the phone screen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

He  rolled his eyes and pressed the green button, putting the phone to his  ear at the same time as he pulled open the refrigerator door.

"Heeeeeyyyyyy  bro, whatcha doin'?" the gravelly voice of Jay's business partner Mike  came through the phone as vivid as if he were standing in the room,  rather than 5,000 miles away.

"Hey, Mike" Jay chuckled. "Not much, just got back."

"How was the tour?"

"Yeah it was good. The guys killed as usual," said Jay, into an empty fridge.

"Did you get any numbers?" Jay could practically hear the Cheshire Cat smile on Mike's face as he asked this question.

He  sighed as he closed the refrigerator door and made his way to the  living room. "No I didn't get any numbers Mike" Jay said, plopping down  dejectedly onto his plush sofa, allowing his head to fall back, eyes  staring straight at the ceiling.

"Jay, you are really wasting your unlimited pussy allowance, man!"  groaned Mike. Jay chuckled in response, closing his eyes and wearily  raising a hand to rub them. "Dude you should be literally DROWNING in  pussy!"

"I'm too busy for all that extra shit, Mike." Jay sighed.

"Extra  shit? Dude." Mike was all seriousness now, leaving a pause so pregnant  that it caused Jay to sit up and open his eyes. "You are never, too  tired, for pussy!" Jay fell back into his original position, another  exhausted sigh leaving his lips as he landed except this time, he had a  little smile on his face.

Mike's dry humour was a welcome salve right now anyway.

"Plus, Jay; I'm married."

"I know Mike."

"So that means I'm living vicariously through you, my dude!"

"Mike-"

"Look,  forget about all that anyway" Mike interrupted Jay, sensing he was not  perhaps his usual playful self and wondering if he had perhaps struck a  nerve.

Mike was quite intuitive, even if he sometimes came off as  oblivious. In his world, he found that feigning ignorance can sometimes  be a better strategy around people, especially when dealing with the  types of sensitive and high-flying businessmen he was used to dealing  with on a daily basis.

Or when his friend had something - or  someone - on his mind that may need to be discussed away over copious  amounts of alcohol sometime in the near-future.

"Remember you  have the interview with Vogue Korea about the new AOMG site and app,"  said Mike making a mental note to revisit this again at a later time.

"Yeah" sighed Jay gratefully, thankful for the change in subject. "When is it again?"

"Friday. 9.30AM"

Jay pulled his phone away from his ear and checked the screen. The interview would be in three days time.

"Cool, my assistant already has the details anyway. I'll check my emails to see when the car will be arriving."

"Sweet. Hit me up later, so we can talk a bit about the Nike deal. But until then; GET SOME SLEEP."

Click

Mike ended the call.

Jay  allowed the phone to slide from his ear onto the sofa next to him,  bringing both hands up to gently rub his face before dropping his head  back and allowing his arms to drop onto the sofa back. The huge floor to  ceiling windows directly opposite bathed him in the light of the  setting sun, as he allowed his exhausted and aching body to sink deeper  into his seat.

As his mind drifted, he remembered a particular  evening spent on this same sofa during a thunderstorm not too long after  he had first met Her. In fact, there were many evenings he remembered  being spent on this sofa (not all of them as innocent as the particular  evening he currently had in mind however, but all of them just as  enjoyable).

Sharing one of those huge soft furry blankets that  She loved so much, with a low fire burning in the marble wood-burning  fireplace to the right of them.

She had been drinking Jack  Daniel's, and he had been drinking soju, both just talking to and laughing with each other in an atmosphere of comfortability, while   outside torrential rain pounded against the monolithic windows and   brilliant forks of lightening spilt the charcoal grey and roiling sky,   causing occasional rolls of thunder which reverberated throughout the   building.

The dichotomy of the chaos on one side of the window pane, versus the serenity on the other hadn't been lost on either of them.

Every  now again She would interrupt the freely-flowing conversation to point  out a particularly spectacular lightning strike or a close roll of  thunder would make Jay jump, which he would then try to disguise by  acting as though he was just moving positions on the couch or picking  up/putting down his glass (which She very politely acted like She did  not notice, or turned away to hide Her smile - which he had gratefully   appreciated).

Her being in Jay's house had been perfectly  innocent at the time, having being introduced through his artist Jarv  Dee, Jay had innately felt at ease around Her. She had an easy-going and  relaxed nature, with a quick wit and genuine smile. He became further  intrigued when he found out that She was a full-stack developer and  promptly discussed possibly working together on something some time.  Which is how the new AMOG website and H1gher app came about.8

That was exactly one year ago from today and 5 months from the day She ripped out Jay's heart and stomped all over it.

"We can't do this Jay..."

Her words echoed around his head like a death knell.

Jay  had spent every waking moment carefully analysing every detail of their  interactions - every facial expression, every vocal inflection - in the  hopes of being able to at least understand WHY She had done this.

Did he say something - do something - to scare her off?

How, when things were going so good between them, could she just end everything and leave so suddenly?

Jay  was aware that he was getting older but, he hadn't really ever thought  of what the future would look like for him and who he would want to  settle down with. The kind of jet-setting lifestyle Jay led meant he had  the luxury of being able to avoid thinking about such things under the  guise of being "too busy".  And with the fast life Jay led, the women he  came across had been just as fast.

That is until he had met Her.

Meeting Her had made him truly question his life dynamic, made him want to change his dynamic.

Made  him think about when would be the time to put down the mic for good and  step back to make way for the younger artists coming up behind him?

Jay  had almost single-handedly built an entire musical empire in a foreign  land, which meant he really had to think about who it was he wanted to  share that with.

A thought he had never needed to have before Her.

She  had awakened something in him that he had been confident was dormant,  something which he had convinced his concerned parents and nagging  brother he wasn't quite ready for.

She made him think more of the life after. After all the parties, interviews, world travelling, and screaming fans.

Of the life he lived when he was just Jay, the dorky kid from Seattle.

Who did he want to come home to? Who did he want waiting for him when the lights had faded and the music stopped?

The  morning after the lightening storm had been the first time Jay had  woken up to Her. They had fallen asleep where they sat in Jay's plush  sofa, having spent the evening bonding over their respective careers,  old 90s RnB and alcohol. Seeing her head resting upon the opposite  armrest of his sofa, the golden rays of the early morning sun  illuminating the golden undertones of Her skin, made something inside  him sing. He knew he liked having Her around, liked hearing Her voice,  liked knowing she was OK.

He loved being in her presence, hearing Her laugh, seeing Her focused frown whilst She was working.

He loved smelling Her, breathing Her in whenever he could.

He loved hearing Her footsteps on his hardwood floor.

He hated not knowing why it went wrong.

But  in just a few days the H1gher app and new AOMG website was due to go  live, meaning She would be coming back to Korea for the launch.

Meaning She and Jay would be in each other's company for the first time since Her departure.

Meaning Jay would not only have to face Her, but once She left he'd have to relive the pain of her leaving all over again.

Jay groaned inwardly.

This should be fun, he thought humourlessly.

Jay reached for his phone beside him and dialled an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" Came the answer down the line.

"Hey, is she free?"

"Good evening, Mr Park. Yes she is free. Regular timing?"

Jay let out a barely audible sigh, his 1000th in the 45 minutes he'd been home. He wouldn't need too long. "Yeah."

"She will arrive in 30 minutes."

Jay ended the call.

He  stood and made his way to his drinks cabinet, pouring himself some  Hennessey before walking over to the window to take a sip, surveying the  evening sky and awaiting his visitor.

The objective of the visit was purely for the purposes of release.

And as Jay's buzzer rang twenty-five minutes later, he knew that's all anyone who wasn't Her could offer him.

[thepandemicinterviews]

Mikki, July 11 2020, Melbourne

During the course of my interview with Mikki, I realised eight minutes too late that half of what had been said so far had not recorded. This lost section illustrates for me two things: 1) the fallibility of technology, and 2) the irrecoverable nature of speech. Thinking about the former, I consider phone calls that cut in and out, one friend lagging behind the others. For a short while, whenever Mikki and I called, only one person could be heard at a time, so I had to make sure not to “mm” in response or I’d risk cutting her off. This meant monologuing and not interrupting, something akin to the interview form.

I’ve always been attracted to the interview. I think teenage magazines, which I read religiously (often standing in the supermarket aisle with the magazines and stationery and greeting cards), were the first indicator of this love. A decade later, recently, I reflected on the unique beauty of speech in written form in Rachel Cusk’s “Outline” trilogy, which are written almost entirely through her characters’ monologue-style speech. I then read her interview in the Paris Review, in which she says the following:

I suppose I recognised that certain worlds could be almost prepared for me by other people, that other people had abilities to perceive their experiences in ways that I found really useful. That sounds a bit like I got other people to do the work for me, but I just thought, Actually you can just use that particular narrative gift for narrative form in speech. […] I think what I was looking for in writing these books was almost a sound frequency. I think I’m very aware when these passages of life occur—when people are able to give voice to themselves. One of the things that is said about these books is, People don’t talk like that. But I think they probably do. Maybe not all the time, but I think they do. The people that I tend to have speaking in my books have a momentary emergence, like someone getting out of the sea and standing on a rock for a minute and sort of looking around, and for whatever reason they can see where they are.

Like Cusk, I wish to glean from others’ experiences, to pay attention to them, and in doing so, give rise to that “momentary emergence.” Interviews allow speech to be consecrated. One can give voice to oneself, then see spoken words turned into black text. The transcriber imagines commas and full stops, moulding the chaos of speech into tidy sentences. The speech is exalted.

Perhaps what makes an interview so daunting, and so singular in its form, is its promise of structured spontaneity. More structured than a conversation, less structured than a piece of writing. Inside it, operating within a space of pure question and response, subjective experience can resound and stand alone.

I wanted to begin this project with Mikki because she is, in every way, brilliant, but also because she has had to experience Covid-19 after moving to Melbourne in February, away from family and friends. Basically, very alone (alone being almost synonymous with the experience of the virus). Now, as cases in Melbourne continue to rise again, she’s moved into a new house, and has entered week one of their six-week lockdown. We discuss existential versus tangible stresses, our displaced visual landscapes, and the limitations of empathy within collective – and yet, so individual – suffering.

C: Mikki, you found out that you tested negative for Covid today. How did you feel when you saw that text?

M: I was really sleepy because it came through before six in the morning and so I felt slightly relieved but also just felt very silly for having worried so much. But also felt very justified for having worried. Then just thought about all the possible timelines and the things that could have happened. So it was overwhelming but in a nice way.

C: When you say the possible timelines, what would have happened if you had tested positive?

M: It would have changed the way this month plays out. So I was working out how it would change my housemates’ plans for moving today, and then how it would then affect all the things that need to happen in the next few weeks. It would mean that I would need to isolate here, so I would need to do my assignment here and wouldn’t be able to leave to my new place, and just change the whole future of July 2020 for me personally.

C: I felt that way when it was March and I felt like every decision I made was contingent on every other thing that happened which was often not in my control. Do you feel like this week has been the most intense week during this period in terms of personal stresses?

M: I think so. It’s been the most actively intense week I guess. Like I felt stressed about tangible real things that maybe didn’t necessarily require the level of stress I was experiencing but still were very real and very scary in practical ways. Whereas, the stress and intensity I felt in March and April was much more existential and about my emotions, I guess, for different reasons. Whereas this felt so tied to real, terrifyingly tangible stresses.

C: When you say that it felt existential back in March, can you elaborate on that?

M: I’m never a hundred percent sure if I’m using the word properly [laughs]. But I think I just felt very aware of literally living and existing and how I was experiencing being alive and all the ways that I could feel throughout a day, or a week, or a month. I was just so aware of every tiny experience and so obviously questioned every aspect of my experiences, I guess. Partly because I had all this time to do that and was so intensely alone that I was forced to do that. This time felt really different to that because things don’t feel as abstract.

C: And with all that time alone, other than thinking, how did you pass that time?

M: I watched so many music videos. I discovered that I can just lie down and watch music videos with my headphones on and feel so much. What else did I do… I called people a lot and I went on walks and for brief periods I’d read and watch movies and feel really good about that. Obviously write my essays, but really slowly. And started drinking tea so, so frequently throughout each day. And I guess just made a lot of plans, just solidified ideas – I guess that kind of comes under thinking. But just, I guess, restructured how I think. It felt like I could just intensely feel an emotion and embrace that feeling and work out which other senses I could use to further feel that feeling and ride it out and just experience it fully. And that was like an activity, and a thing that I could be doing in a way that it never has been before.

C: It sounds very therapeutic. A mindfulness guru we have in our midst. Daphne’s volunteering for this mindfulness group at the moment where they just slowly eat raisins. I guess just having the lack of external influence to allow you this space to drink tea and watch your music videos. Do you think that’s something you’ll hold with you when you do get busier – that experience?

M: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like the only other time I’d understood that was the one week at the end of January when I smoked weed each night and just enjoyed feeling really good in all these ways. But that was so short-lived and so brief, and I feel like I’ve extended that now, but without needing any kind of substance, just fully enjoying being comfortable…

C: So this new lockdown – six weeks – having that set timeframe. How do you feel about that and is there anything you hope to achieve in the second lockdown?

M: Yeah, it definitely is quite a set time. I was talking about that just earlier today, about how that’s different psychologically to being told that something’s happening indefinitely and that would change how you think about it. I am kind of seeing it as a second chance in a way, like Lockdown: Take 2 [laughs]. Like a time to do all the things that you hoped to do the first time round, but obviously were never going to accomplish. This feels like the chance to do that. So part of me does want to end up becoming a runner by the end of it, or someone who does yoga all the time. But I also just hope that I’m someone who’s a bit more solidly in the real world by the end of it. And feel a bit more able to engage with the external world more comfortably and feel like a real person who exists in a tangible world that’s external to me and my own mind. Because I think at the start of it, so the next few weeks, I definitely will keep being very gentle with myself and move with whatever mood or feeling needs to happen and just try to ride out the next few weeks, I guess. And still try to achieve the things I have to do but without any real world pressures because it doesn’t feel like I’m back in the real world yet. I think I do hope by the end of the six weeks I am a bit more solidly in the world and able to interact with people without feeling like it’s all a bit imaginary. And be ready to be doing uni subjects a bit more seriously, and start looking for a job, and be a bit more down-to-earth, be solidly on the ground kind of vibe.

C: Do you feel like it gives you a bit more time to realise what you want before feeling fully settled? Do you feel like it’s kind of a good thing for where you’re at to have this extra time?

M: Yeah, I think it is. It feels a bit sad to have started to have these nice things, like seeing people occasionally and being able to relax a bit, not feeling that stress. It was nice just feeling like life was picking up in that way. But I think for me, still kind of feeling like I am quite alone, and I do want to take all this learning and growth, becoming different and new in all these ways out of this time I have, where I am forced to be alone. In that sense I think it does feel like a nice bit of extra room to do that comfortably.

C: You mentioned moodboards before, when I think it wasn’t recording. What images come to mind when you think of this year? Not January, of course, because that was a very different time.

M: This is super obvious and has been the case for nearly everyone I love, but the sky at dusk has been a really clear daily chance to really feel something. Something that changes all the time. I think just striking visuals in general have been something I’ve been able to appreciate more. It’s as though colours and images or videos of people in really good or interesting outfits carry so much more weight and power in a way. I feel like I can appreciate them so much more. So those are some of the images that I’ve been much more struck by than usual, I guess. I feel like the things I look at in real life are so limited, you know, like I just look out the same few windows, and walk the same couple of parks, and go to the same shops. But then at the same time, the things I’m looking at online are so much more varied and diverse and I’m giving them so much more attention and time that it feels like they’re all more powerful. Oh, and also just my big blue jumper has become such a staple and all my bed sheets and pillows are different shades of blue, but the jumper just typifies that soft, comfy, homey – soft colours, but also warm soft cosy overall sensation. I think it represents that all in itself.

C: It does. So you’ve learnt a lot about yourself of course, but do you feel like you’ve learnt a lot about other people, people in general, specific people?

M: Hmm. I don’t know if I’ve really learnt about other people. I think I’ve seen more of certain parts of different people I know, because our relationships are obviously really different, and it brings out new dynamics and certain aspects of everyone’s personalities are amplified in different ways.

C: In terms of different opinions towards the whole situation or?

M: In terms of how people think and feel. I guess because I’m in a new place, it’s kind of been a really specific way of highlighting how different people think and act. There’s just been such clear divides between people who are partying recently and out in bars and stuff, and people who are following the rules because they’re the laws but aren’t necessarily super invested in the reality of the health crisis and your responsibilities in your communities and so on. And then the people who are most disadvantaged by this and are just in such a completely different world to the people who are out dancing, happy they can do that. So it’s kind of been really stark seeing those differences play out, and mainly through my phone or laptop as well, like not in person. I guess also seeing people respond to stuff, like with the public housing hard lockdown, seeing people really quickly working out ways to donate stuff and help with various things. I think that kind of brought out people’s opinions especially starkly. In so many ways. Obviously, seeing the government’s responses has also been super informative, and feels like it all lines up with the last essay I did, which was all about incarceration in Victoria and how indigenous women are disproportionately affected. And seeing that conflict between a fairly progressive government in a lot of ways, but then a really harsh, tough crime, law-and-order focused, criminal justice agenda. And that’s come out really clearly again recently.

C: Like you can’t be both.

M: Yeah, well it just kind of feels really extreme how it somehow goes so hand-in-hand in this state.

C: I think at the beginning of everything, just speaking on a very vague global level, I thought everyone is kind of going through the same thing worldwide. You never get to experience that level of – like I could talk to anyone in the world and say, “How’s it affecting you?”, “Same.” But then I think as the months progressed and different countries went different directions. And on a local level, different types of people had different experiences and it reinforced existing hierarchies.

M: Totally. It was such a shift from we’re all in this together to realising that just couldn’t be further from the truth, basically. And how false it was.

C: Yeah, and all the blaming of people and outrage. I think in particular, in Australia and New Zealand, it’s been a big part of the conversation around outbreaks. Blaming people for not being perfect and not having the empathy to understand why someone might be more likely to pass it on due to living conditions or just personal situations.

M: It’s been so extreme seeing that play out. Especially with the recent Victorian spike, I feel like the discourse has become so much more about blaming people who are doing the wrong thing. Even where government policy failures are also a huge part of that story as well. Yeah, it’s so interesting in terms of empathy, actually. It’s kind of helped people develop empathy in some ways, in terms of unemployment for some people and what that’s like, or what poverty is like, or social isolation or being lonely or being anxious or not having access to the same food or resources. But then also seeing how limited that empathy is in other ways. That’s such a strange conflict I think.

[placetobenation]

As many of you are aware, WWE Network is pretty packed with all sorts of content. And as you may also know, we here at Place to Be Nation love long term, in depth projects. So, as part of this initiative, members of the PTBN Staff are choosing programs at random and after watching each program, they will share their thoughts, notes and recommendations with our readers. So, settle in and enjoy this epic ride through wrestling history!

Roddy Piper’s Greatest Hits

Run Time: 98 Minutes

Why Jacob Why???: 

BECAUSE JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHICH SHOW I’M GONNA PICK, I CHANGE THE ANSWERS

I figured if we were going to go on this Network voyage, there’s no better way than to start with one of the earlier tapes, especially one focused on such an icon. Along with that, I knew this would give us a nice mix of matches, promos, and random segments, even if they all center around one guy.

Best Segment

Breaking down barriers since 1984!

Aaron George:  Bob Orton going for a checkup on his much maligned arm. I hold no pretensions that Doc Stevens is in any way a licensed physician, but when he was introduced as the resident TNT Doctor I was already in stitches. Straight man Vince is incredulous that Orton’s arm hasn’t healed yet and Piper’s conviction in the face of Bob’s “Your arm is fine” diagnosis is wonderful.  Special points to the “doctor” too who incredulously wondered aloud that the arm should be stronger by now.

Brian Bayless: The Piper’s Pit segment with Jimmy Snuka is one of the most memorable segments in wrestling history and with good reason. This never dragged and was explosive and shocking as anything shown on WWF TV at that point.

Jacob Williams: I have to go with the Mid City Health Club meditation session, just for the pure goofiness. I’m a sucker for these early to mid 80s campy vignettes. I love it all–from Ace as the PR rep to Orndorff’s hot pants,  to Piper hissing at Gene.  Everyone takes the entire premise so serious, and it makes it that much better. To top it off, they beat up some random guy on the street, which actually feels real and gritty. The entire crew just completely sells themselves as some weirdo transgressive tough guys.

Calum McDougall: Tuesday Night Titans with Piper and Bob Orton visiting the doctor. I though the middle of the tape dragged on a bit due to the lack of matches, but this was the highlight of the long talking segment section of the tape. Piper’s mannerisms from the start were outstanding, giving Orton nervous glances throughout and his interactions with the doctor and Vince were fantastic.He had an answer for everything that was thrown at him, and when all else failed he just started quacking at the doctor to end the segment. Excellent stuff.

Dave Hall: Piper’s Pit with special guest: Roddy Piper. This segment was hilarious.  I really loved the smooth editing that made it seem like a genuine interview.  Piper’s comments were awesome, and very ahead of their time.  It was full of one liners from start to finish, from “I had Andre on.  I brought him a Johnny brush to brush his teeth”, to “When I shoot a gun, someone gets pregnant”.  It seems only fitting that Piper’s greatest guest would be himself, and he really pushed boundaries with this segment.  Piper at his very best.

Best Match

You did WHAT to Andre the giant???

Aaron George: The problem with this set is there isn’t a match that has anything resembling a proper finish. The one that stood out for me was Piper and Dr. Death against Andre The Giant and Snuka. It was super interesting to not only watch Andre carry the babyface segments of a tag match, but then to see him beaten bloody by Piper and experience him in legitimate peril was tons of fun. The image of Roddy Piper sitting on the top turnbuckle covered in Andre’s 1.7 BAC blood is a perfect snapshot of the character. Sure Andre comes back later and they do the fuck finish but for every second Hot Rod is in the ring the crowd is LIVID!

Brian Bayless: The final match on the card, Piper & Orton vs. Snuka & Tonga Kid, was a lot of fun. The crowd went crazy and it was a chaotic match with lots of brawling.

Jacob Williams: This was tough because the Hogan match had so much heat, but I have to go with the Andre tag. It told a better story, and the reaction when Andre comes out with the bandage is breathtaking. Piper looks like such a warrior with the Giant’s blood smeared on him. I wasn’t very hyper aware of this feud between Piper and Andre. This was excellent.

Calum McDougall:  Piper & David Schultz vs. Andre The Giant and Jimmy Snuka. I thought this match was a lot of fun. It was good to see and Andre match when he could still go at a good level, and I lost it when he did a drop down. Admittedly, it’s not the most athletic of maneuvers but it was amazing to see Andre do it given that most of the matches of his I’ve seen are post-WrestleMania III, when he’s really broken down. I loved the ending with the bloodbath, then transitioning into the handicap match only for Andre to come back out. The heat that was on Piper and Schultz was unreal, and the visual of Hot Rod sitting on the top rope covered almost head to toe in Andre’s blood was the best shot of the whole video.

Dave Hall:  Roddy Piper vs The Tonga Kid. There are lots of really great matches on this presentation, and one could argue that the Piper vs Hogan match at War to Settle the Score could be the best, but I really enjoyed the Piper vs Tonga Kid match.  This match surprised me with it’s quick offense and the heat that it had.  Piper calling for the time out and then selling a ton for Tonga Kid really made it seem that Tonga Kid was a genuine threat to win.  The interference from Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton did not detract from the match, and really added to the heat.  A really enjoyable match.

Most Cringeworthy Moment

Explain your actions you fat, bald-headed little oaf.

Aaron George:  Any time Hot Rod spouts off “Just when they think they’ve got all the answers, I change the questions.” It never made any sense in context to what he was doing and it’s just lame. I know we’re supposed to revere it as a classic Piper line but to me it always sounded forced and was a weak spot in an otherwise strong promo game.

Brian Bayless: Gene Okerlund, who did the introduction to this video, listed Piper as 6’3 and 252 lbs. Even in pro wrestling where size is exaggerated it was ridiculous.

Jacob Williams: Frank Williams attempted to speak into a microphone, and it was a complete disaster.

Calum McDougall: Piper’s Pit with Jimmy Snuka. Well, this hasn’t aged well has it? I completely understand that this is a legendary and memorable segment, given that its between two Hall of Famers. Snuka was one of the most popular men in the company at the time, and Piper was quite possibly the most hated man in the WWF. In 1985, it’s a licence to print money. In 2018 however, its uncomfortable viewing, with Pipers taunting in the run up to the coconut shot, right up until the end where he is whipping Snuka within an inch of his life. It’s easy to see why the would only show the coconut attack in more recent clips. It was a different time, but this is certainly not a 2018 segment.

Dave Hall: Everything involving Mean Gene Okerlund. With so much quality stuff on this presentation, I was really disappointed with Mean Gene’s introduction, and his linking statements throughout.  The intro was really cringe worthy, as he bagged out Piper and almost made it feel like anyone who had “purchased the video” was a loser for doing so.  His negativity is understandable, but after seeing how enjoyable the whole thing was, it ended up looking really stupid.

Funniest Line/Moment

Have you ever heard of a Kiss song called Love Gun?

Aaron George:  During an episode of TNT Vince grills Roddy as to why he didn’t let Jimmy Snuka speak before cracking the coconut on his head; Hot Rod loses it and screams something to the effect of “I DID BUT HE JUST SAT THERE LIKE A BUMBLING IDIOT LIKE THIS GUY!!!” He then points to a dour Lord Alfred Hayes, sitting there with his hands crossed, decked out in a pompadour suit refusing to say a word at the obvious truths Piper was spewing; a look of sadness overcomes his face quickly hidden behind a false smile and a shame-filled stiff upper lip.

Brian Bayless: Piper quacking as the doctor on TNT said that Bob Orton’s arm was fine cracked me up. Also, Orton beating up a guy on the street after Okerlund was kicked out of Piper & Paul Orndorff’s private training session for their WrestleMania match was classic.

Jacob Williams:Piper hissing at the camera out of nowhere, and the ensuing shot of him hissing, is comedy gold.

Calum McDougall: Roddy quacking at the doctor at the end of the TNT segment above. Excellent stuff.

Dave Hall: In a tape full of actual greatest hits and moments, and multiple one-liners from Piper, the funniest line for me was when Piper looked at the cameras and said “When I shoot a gun, someone gets pregnant.” I laughed out loud and even replayed the line just to hear it again.

Highlights

Forgiveness or massive concussion?

Aaron George:  Every single match had CRAZY crowd heat. Piper was clearly a master of the chaos filled match. His frenetic energy was incredible and if Michael Cole was calling his matches he would no-doubt be screaming lunatic fringe every ninety seconds. The promos were quite good and even something as hokey a concept as interviewing oneself is pulled off well by the Hot Scot. The meditation promo was great and had Piper and Orton not visited the doctor would have walked away with best segment. Every time Piper read a letter from someone’s family “i.e. Hogan’s mother writing him pleading to stop beating up her son,” was spectacular. Gloria Steinman was at the War To Settle The Score! I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the AMAZING Coliseum Video opening declaring that for 5000 years this bullshit has been going on, all the while the precursor to Hercules’ music blasts as we get shots of jobbers being murdered. Love T getting the shit beat out of him and adore Paul Orndorff screaming at Arnold Skaaland.

Brian Bayless: The matches featured all had a ton of crowd heat and the segments that focused on Andre the Giant, Jimmy Snuka,and Hulk Hogan were great. Plus, we saw the classic Pit segments with Jimmy Snuka and Frankie Williams.

Jacob Williams: It’s hard narrow it down when so much of this is made up such legendary matches and moments. I absolutely loved any interaction between Piper and Andre. Andre’s innate charisma compliments Piper’s manic energy well. Piper busting Andre open to show that he could back up his big mouth, then Andre stumbling back the ring with crude head bandage, was all so great.

Calum McDougall:  

*Andre’s performance in the opening tag team match, as I said before, it was good to see a match before he starts to break down

* The red hot crowd when Snuka is on offence when the opening match transitions to handicap, what they’d do for a sustained reaction like that nowadays.

* The bagpipe entrance for the War to Settle The Score match, although I am legally obligated to say this.

Dave Hall: This whole tape is a bunch of genuine highlights.  There is so much good stuff on here I don’t know where to start.  Two things that did really stand out for me: the Piper’s Pit with Andre the Giant, and watching Andre lift Piper in the air by his shirt.  Piper looked genuinely worried at that moment.  Then we saw Andre totally sell an assault from Piper, including bleeding.  It made Piper look like a total badass. I had never seen the War to Settle the Score before, and really enjoyed it.  The Piper’s Pits were all great, and the Tonga Kid and Jimmy Snuka stuff was really entertaining.

Lowlights

Why no one care about my eyes no mo?

Aaron George:  It would have been nice to have a match that had a proper finish, but I get the impression Piper didn’t have many of those. I don’t like Real American being dubbed over Eye of The Tiger but it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as Hulk Hogan slumming it with noted fat sloppy pig Lou Albano. Why on Earth does a guy named Frank Williams struggle so heartily with the English language?

Brian Bayless: For some reason there was an episode of Piper’s Pit that had Samu as the Tonga Kid. Samu had noticeably less charisma than the original Tonga Kid. The segment with Piper interviewing himself started off amusing enough but did run out of steam by the end.

Jacob Williams:Piper interviewing himself overstays its welcome a bit. The stuff with Samu was fine, but it didn’t match the intensity or epic feel of the other feuds covered on this tape.

Calum McDougall: 

* The awful dub over of Real American. You could tell that the crowd was going crazy for the Hulkster but the dub job silences them, which took something off this match for me.

* Mean Gene and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary, I didn’t enjoy this team at all.

* Tonga Kid mocking Piper’s kilt. (It’s not a skirt!!!!)

Dave Hall: In a tape filled with so much great stuff, I found the “Piper’s Workout” clips preparing for WrestleMania to be a little dull and drag a bit.  Piper did very little in these segments, and Gene came off as a goof.  This really could have been left off, especially as the WrestleMania main event is not covered on this presentation. The other lowlight to me was the layout of the presentation.  They cover the Andre segments early 1984), jump to the War to Settle the Score (1985), and then go back to the Snuka/Tonga Kid stuff (1984 again).  I think it would have been better if they had run the events and matches chronologically, and finished with the War to Settle the Score.

Wild Card BABY!!!

I’M YOUR MAN!!!

Liar Of The Night:  Forgive me for a fucking second if I can’t picture Mr. T rocking out to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.  If Mr. T can name ONE other Cyndi Lauper song I will eat a shit sandwich.  He enjoys her music… PUH – LEASE – I wonder how many takes it took to get that line out. – AG

Best Tidbit: According to Piper, the coconut he used to hit Snuka was not gimmicked and Snuka himself was unaware he was going to be getting hit with anything of the fruits on the table. Piper even claimed that Snuka tried to go after him that night at the hotel. The segment was filmed on 3/28/84 in St. Louis but did not air until the 6/9/84 edition of “Championship Wrestling.” – BB

Excellence in Medical Practice Award: This one goes to Doc Stevens.  No matter how much Piper yells and quacks at him, he never strays from calmly delivering his diagnosis. – JW

What’s The Point Award:  Piper’s Pit with guest Roddy Piper. This should have been really good, and for 1985 technology this was impressive. But it didn’t go anywhere, was too long for me and by the end I was just baffled at the whole thing. A good idea on paper which just fell short on execution for me. – CM

Most Nosey:   Gene Okerlund. If guys are meditating and hissing at you while sitting on the dirtiest floor I’ve ever seen stop asking questions at take your bald headed ass out of the Mid City Gym FOR MEN. He interrupts Orndorff as he attempts a sexy deadlift, he stops Piper from transitioning to snake. Get outta there you oaf! The guy who asked if Gene needed help deserved to get his ass beat. – AG

The Sympathy Award: On a tape with some of the biggest names in the history of wrestling—Piper, Hogan, Andre—we get a cameo from Frank Williams. Piper can destroy nearly anyone on the mic, so when he goes against poor Frank Williams in the Pit, I kind of just felt bad. Williams can barely utter a coherent sentence, and Piper just humiliates him. – JW

Again! What’s the point???: As I just mentioned, I felt that without any coverage of the WrestleMania main event there was little point in showing the workout video of Piper and Orndorff.  It just added nothing to the presentation.

Most Random: Lou Thesz as special referee. When Mean Gene threw to this match and mentioned there was a special referee the last person I expected to see was Lou Thesz! Even more surprising is that they actually acknowledge him as a former World Champion. I’m assuming this is because Thesz was well known in the Minneapolis area where this match happened and they know him as a legendary champion (rightfully so) but this was a head scratcher nonetheless. – CM

Final Thoughts

Aaron George:  This was a fun set but don’t go into it looking for some classic matches. Because of the lack of variety in the programming of it I found myself struggling to get through it. Still there’s some classic MOMENTS, and after watching you couldn’t ever argue that Piper wasn’t one thousand percent effective in the ring. RATING: 6/10

Brian Bayless: Piper was arguably the best heel in all of wrestling from 1984-85 and this tape did a great job of capturing everything that made him great. Sure, the matches themselves were not masterpieces but you saw a lot of crowds going wild to go along with many memorable segments and interviews. One of the best Coliseum Home Video releases you can get. RATING: 8/10

Jacob Williams: Every match on here felt so epic and meaningful. You had guys who were insanely over coupled with crowds that are just buying into absolutely everything that’s happening. I know there wasn’t much variety, but it was amazing to watch a snapshot of a guy firing on all cylinders in his prime right as the WWF was catching fire. RATING: 8/10

Calum McDougall: The tape started off hot, with opening tag and the Hogan MTV match but it took a nosedive with the long section in the middle. That being said, I still thought it was a decent video, due to the good stuff being great. RATING:4/10

Dave Hall: What a way to start the reboot of the Network Adventure.  This was awesome.  Knowing the history of the Colliseum Home Video stuff, I was really worried there would be a lot of crap mixed in with some good stuff.  But this was great moment after great moment.  The matches all had heat and moved well, and really showcased Piper’s ability in the ring to make his opponent look good.  The Piper’s Pit were all memorable ones, you have the classic Bob Orton and Piper visiting the doctor, which was really fun, and then you have Piper interviewing himself which was simply brilliant.  While Mean Gene may have mocked the title at the start of the presentation, never has the phrase “Greatest Hits” ever been more warranted. RATING: 10/10

And we are out! Where will the Network Adventure travel to? Which Coliseum will be conquered next? Which of these assholes will quit the project in an indignant rage??? Find out in TWO WEEKS!

Reg?