#too busy shaping the world in his ideal image to care about relationships [would be abysmal at maintaining any of them even if he did care]

[commandertartarsmoocher]

If anybody is curious who I ship the funny telephone with... Here is my super awesome and long awaited answer:

🎉 Nobody 🎉

[jeannereames]

Hi, love your blog and your books, they have been good for my knowledge, they had made clear some points that were cover by the mist of ignorance, I mean, when I was at school my teachers didn't know about Alexander so when we saw him in history class there were a lot of incoherences (sorry for my poor grammar, I'm still learning english).

Hephaestion is an interesting character, we don't know much about him but I have always wonder how he was as a husband, in my research it seems that he wasn't so interest in women like others were. I have wonder if that make him a careless or a typical (in the context of the history) husband? Did he marry because Alexander say so or because he wants to ensure his place? Does he felt pity for the girl or he didn't care about her at all? Was a better husband than Alexander?

And talking about Drypetis, we know about the famous beauty of her mother and of Roxanne. But how do you think that beauty was? Certainly, not like my modern view about attractiveness of a female, so I wonder yours.

Sorry for the long post! 🙃

We know nothing about his interest (or lack of it) in women. He did marry in Susa in 324 because Alexander told him to…along with 90 other officers. That doesn’t mean he was against the idea—may have been one of the few fully in favor of it for the politics.

While fictionally I’ll make hay over his lack of recorded lovers (of either gender), from an academic point of view…it’s meaningless.

This is probably a good time to review “arguments from silence,” and why they’re so tricky.

An ARGUMENT FROM SILENCE suggests a lack of evidence is significant. BUT this only works if one can demonstrate that such evidence ought to be there…and isn’t.

That’s hard to do for the ancient world as “a lack of evidence” describes our cursed lot. My modern historian colleagues are regularly astonished by how little we have, and what we can spin out from that little.

I bring this up is because arguments from silence are too common in pop history, which too often does them badly due to a lack of understanding regarding 1) what evidence IS available, 2) what should be available, and 3) what’s absolutely unsurprising not to find.

Sometimes students will ask me, “But didn’t they write stuff like that down?” (‘That’ varying.) The answer is often, “No.” Or more colorfully, “They didn’t give a shit.” Even in the Roman Empire, they lacked bureaucratic record-keeping as we understand it. In Greece, centuries earlier, a few city-states kept some records, but most didn’t, especially prior to the mid-4thCentury BCE. It’s connected to the “epigraphic habit”: the desire to record information (in public) for posterity, and the idea that record-keeping might be a good general idea often merge.

Even so, WHAT they thought worthy of recording isn’t always what we’d like to know. This, in turn, pertains to how they wrote historical texts: what they chose to report (or not).

So, with that background…

The problem with knowing Hephaistion’s sexual interest (or lack of it) in women is how and why our sources relate such information.

In short: they mostly don’t.

This owes to their LASER focus on Alexander. Even then, what each source tells about him varies. I think we can probably be sure we know all Alexander’s wives, although Barsine’s status is not completely clear (imo). I assume she was at least a palakē, which is a formal mistress: less than a wife, but more than a hetaira. Yet given Macedonian marriage practices, perhaps she was a wife in Macedonian eyes? The Greeks regularly “demoted” Macedonian royal wives to mistresses, so I don’t trust our sources on this score.

Whatever the case, we don’t know all Alexander’s female (or male) sexual liaisons outside his wives because the sources mostly don’t care. When they do care (ala Plutarch and Curtius), it’s for some—often Romanized—moral point. Which is a looong-ass way from anything the Macedonians cared about.

And if we don’t even know his, how can we assume we know his officers’? Hell-to-the-no!

We hear about these women only if they matter to the larger (Alexander-driven) narrative. So we know the name of Philotas’s mistress, Antigonē, because she was hired by Krateros to bring pillow talk back to Alexander. We know Harpalus’s mistresses because he spent oodles of treasury funds on them, and got in trouble for it (twice). We recognize the name Laïs because she later became the long-time mistress (palakē) of Ptolemy I, mother of some of his important offspring in the Successor wars.

Ergo, not knowing the names of Hephaistion’s mistresses—or whether he had any—is not significant. Outside of special circumstance, we wouldn’t expect to.

We DO know the name of his wife from the mass-marriages at Susa in the spring of 324 because she was a princess, sister of Alexander’s wife, and her selection for him had distinct political significance. Yet that doesn’t mean he didn’t have a wife already, back in Macedon. Others of Alexander’s officers did–one reason many promptly divorced their Persian brides after Alexander’s death. I note the possibility largely as it illustrates the level of what we don’t know.

My educated hunch is that Hephaistion’s marriage to Drypetis was his first marriage. And I don’t believe he had any children (even by-blows), or we’d have heard about them as a result of Alexander’s extravagant grief. Yet this is far from saying he had no mistresses—or boyfriends, for that matter.

Regarding Drypetis and his relationship with her…it’s a complete blank. We just don’t know how Hephaistion treated her, what she thought of him, or what he thought of her. They weren’t married long enough. The weddings were in early spring, after ATG got back to Susa following the Gedrosian march/rest in Karmania. He spent a while sorting business in Susa before he went on to Opis (and subsequent unrest/mutiny there). I suspect Hephaistion and Drypetis were married no more than 6-7 months. He died in early/mid-October. She wasn’t pregnant by his death, but given how busy that period was, it could be a function of his duties and lack of time.

As for the beauty of Persian royal/elite women, it seems to have been something remarked upon by more than just Alexander historians. We lack images of Achaemenid Persians, alas, but below is a lapis lazuli bust of among the most famous: Atossa, daughter of Cyrus, wife of Darius, and mother of Xerxes (lived second half of the 6th century BCE). Note the large eyes, high eyebrows (apparently plucked), and small mouth. Given the tendency to idealizing in Ancient Near Eastern art, this suggests what would have been considered high beauty.

Beneath her is a Roman copy of Praxiteles’s original Aphrodite of Knidos—considered the ideal of Greek female beauty in the early-mid 4th century BCE (based on the incomparable Phryne, Praxiteles’s mistress).

Both have an oval face with full cheeks, and we can see Aphrodite’s nicely plump. That meant something! She had enough to eat = wealth. The modern starved-skinny model with long face, strong jaw, and stark cheekbones…that’s attractive now partly owing to what photographs well: prominent features and thinness (because the camera adds pounds). Persians and Greeks preferred rounder features, heart-shaped faces, small bow mouths, soft jaws, and fullness in the body (plump, not overweight). About the only hold-over would be large eyes.

What I haven’t really noted is coloring…other than a preference for pale skin as that signified one had slaves (= rich) and didn’t have to work in the fields outside. Hair color and eye color just wasn’t that big of a deal. Sometimes it comes to the fore: gray-eyed Athena. (Although the word is generic for blue/gray/greenish.) Similar for Apollo and Dionysos, in the Homeric hymns. Dionysos had black hair there (as did Apollo). Both “blond-up” only in the Classical era. And Hera was noted for her extraordinarily beautiful “cow-eyes.” E.g., large and dark-dark brown.

BUT, because I love to support the Gingers of the World…RED-blond hair was considered the most desired in Greece. Aphrodite was a strawberry blonde (at least sometimes), as was Helen…when anybody bothered to note it. And (quite probably) Alexander.

[syubub]

SOULMATE READING- TAEHYUNG

First of all, sorry about the pic. Second is the disclaimer. This is a tarot reading meant for entertainment only. Thirdly, I decided to do each member as an individual post bc I think it's less hassle that way 💕

Okay

Okay. So. Wow.

I don't know where to start with Tae. His soulmate and him have the most ideal relationship. The cards for the relationship aspect is 100% soulmate vibes. I mean come on, the 2 of cups (soulmate card), 4 of wands (marriage) and the lovers all right next to eachother? Hot damn. They definitely travel together a lot and his Soul Bae might be a good entrepreneur? Idk but they are both financially set.

I think we should start with physical attributes first. I have a strong feeling that they will be naturally blonde or have blonde hair at the time they meet. The color yellow is also important (Taes energy is very yellowish gold to me. Coincidence?). I also get the sense that this is an old soul. May be older than Tae but definitely an old soul. A youthful face. Sort of fun yet intimidating look to them. They might have sharp features (specifically eyes which could be a grayish brown? Possibly even have heterochromia? Might have light freckles. Puts effort into the way they look but also just wakes up looking flawless. Might be from abroad. His soulmate might be very interested in France, have a very French aesthetic or lived in France. His soulmate is very much like him. Relatively tall? Modelish but unconventional, like kinda built, lanky, boxy. Strong legs. Wavy hair? Idk. A balance of masculine and feminine traits. The type to enjoy being fancy but also super down to play video games and can definitely out drink Tae. Definitely. Looks good in sweats lol.

onto how/where they'll meet. It might be when he is alone at a museum in France standing in front of a statue of Venus (It popped into my head and i couldn't not write it down) or perhaps when one party is traveling and they meet on a hike or in nature or something like that. Possibly even at a work function. As for when they meet. It is up to both parties to decide to come into union spiritually. If that makes sense? They both will be drawn to eachother when the time is right for them.

Onto this person's personality. Earthy influences. Romantic!!! Romantic. So romantic. Their love language is words of affirmation. This person is very chivalrous? Idk like this person is very gentlemanly? Like, they want to take care of tae and will open doors for him and stuff. Makes him chocolate covered strawberries. Also very intune to ~otherworldly~ things. Lowkey a psychic. Idk why but this person it like guided by Taes guides sometimes? Like, they'll just pop in. And like, when it's time for them to meet, Tae grandma will give him every fucking sign to be like, "THIS ONE!! THIS IS YOUR SOULMATE, KID!" (Also, topic for a different day but i have a mad feeling that Tae communicates with the dead, specifically his grandma, and that's why he trust/ relies on his "angels" so much.) I don't want to be insensitive or step on toes or anything but like Taes grandma probably communicates with Taes soulmate too? And like, I keep getting an image of Tae and his soulmate sharing dreams? Idk it's a lot. And I think I've said it before but Taes soulmate is... massive... like, energy wise. Theres almost like an archaic, out of this world feeling to this person and they have to be spiritual or imma shout. Like, this person. Is. Crazy. Idk what's up but it's almost like there's a wall? Like, I'm not privy to it because my small little fragile conciousness would shatter in its presence? Maybe a bit dramatic but there is a lot behind this person and their union with Tae. This person has been through a lot and might be closing an old chapter in their life when Tae comes in. This person might feel lost? Like, they have such massive energy but human life is stupid and confusing and they dont know how to channel energy into productivity? Might also fear abandonment and commitment so they have a hard time really connecting with people because they get attached easily and are afraid to lose them. An empath? Very creative and able to manifest pretty much anything. For archetype cards, I got: artist, shape-shifter, knight, messiah. Very very creative and can probably draw in experience from different levels of conciousness? Like this person is an artsy, spiritual Joan of Arc.

So. Cards about their situation are Soul Family and Inner Temple. Essentially they both need to awaken and call eachother in. They need to fully be themselves and just exist!

Cards to Tae from his Soul Bae: progress, not perfection, answered prayers, unconventionality, big bold vision, beyond the mind the heart beats, sacred fool.

Okay. His Soulmate is a funny one, I'll get to that soon, but also very genuine. Like this person wants to see him grow and Express full potential. Bae wants him to stop caring what others think and be weird! Theres stuff he doesn't talk about with other people (perhaps the fact that hes way more spiritually intune than most. Not by choice either though. He was born with this shit. He probably saw faeries as a kid and shit) Bae wants him to settle back and listen to his inner self and nurture what's already there. This is a line from the description of sacred fool, "Don't try to be appropriate, don't try to be socially acceptable and worry about what others may think about what you are doing-just be. If you want to wear a mad hat whilst doing so, fine." Bae wants him to have fun and do whatever the fuck he wants to do because Tae being happy is what's important. Like, if Tae went and bought a literal circus and was like, "this is my dream, its who I am" Bae would be like, "...are you sure?" And if he was sure, then his soulmate would double check everything, make sure hes safe and dive in head first with him. It's very supportive but also his soulmate is practical. Like, his soulmate wouldn't willingly let him do anything that would directly harm him or ruin his life, you know? This is his guardian angel. His love. His tried and true. One and only. It's ridiculous and they will have kids and a farm. Fight me on that.

I wanted to channel a message from his soulmate to him and I got a laugh, something about "our four leaf clover" "He needs a haircut" and, "Tell him he's dense but I'll love him forever in this life and the next. Forever."

Then I thought, well, Jimin is definitely Taes platonic soulmate so like Taes Bae and Chim have to get along and I got the cutest image of Tae, Taes Bae, Jimin and Jimins soulmate all sitting together in a garden drinking tea and laughing and all of their guides are watching them with smiles and the rest of Bangtan and their soulmates come into the garden with their soulmates and it's a cute Soul-party and now I'm super soft.

Theres so much to say about this soulmate union and really even just his soulmate because it's such a powerful energy and I think someday I want to do a part 2 for this because I have lots of questions. I feel like these two can have any sort of life together. Like they both hold the pen and are constantly writing and revising their life scripts. Also, I get the feeling that his soulmate is...hmm.. they give me the feeling that they might not exist? Like they do but at the same time they don't? Or maybe they're just like, deep. Like an onion. I'll put a pin in this for another time but it gives me a deep indigo type of feeling, you know? It's a whole thing. I'll do a part 2 for this.

Last comment. Taes Soul bae has great eyebrows? Idk why but that's a thing apparently.

TLDR

Tae has a fantastic soulmate who is impressively cool, they have the cutest life together and they are definitely going to live the cutest domestic life ever? Also, Tae probably wants to have 6 kids so each kid can have a designated Bangtan Godfather lol. Think artsy-museum-farmer-millionaires who have a house made of Gucci and matching rocking chairs.

Cute cute cute. Like I said, I'll expand on this later! Also, I apologize if it isn't very cohesive or doesn't make a lot of sense. I've been busy and my life is a little messy but I wanted to get this out!

Stay safe💜

[lucidentia-sb]

Q&A WITH SIMON BAKER

The actor on challenging prescribed masculine ideals, leaving legacies behind, and his feature film directorial debut Breath. 

“I’m really proud of this movie and I still sort of pinch myself that we were able to pull it off at all,” confessed Simon Baker to The Guardian earlier this month in speaking about his feature film directorial debut. “What I wanted to do with this movie is try to make a film that had a bit more longevity and, for my own satisfaction, had some kind of a legacy that I felt proud of.” Up until this point, the Australian actor has been a TV mainstay with his seven-year tenure on The Mentalist, not to mention his three-season commitment on The Guardian before it, playing a corporate attorney sentenced to countless hours of community service at a child advocacy office following a drug conviction. Evidently, Baker is looking to cement a different kind of legacy with Breath: an adaptation of Tim Winton’s acclaimed novel of the same title, in which is he also stars.

Set in the 1970s and largely shot in the Western Australian coastal town of Denmark, Breath is a rite-of-passage tale that chronicles a pair of small town boys who come under the spell of a Svengali-like, former pro surfer. The bro-triangle that develops out on the water between sensitive teenager Pikelet (Samson Coulter), his reckless best friend Loonie (Ben Spence), and their mentor Sando (Baker) is held together by instinctive respect, but also threatened by ego and rivalries, especially as Loonie’s increasingly erratic bravado pulls him mercilously into the direction his name suggests. Further complicating the boys’ surrogate parentage is Sando’s wife, Eva (Elizabeth Debicki), a former competitive skier - a confusing erotic presence: too old to be a conventional love interest, yet too young to be their mother - who communicates a kind of impenetrable sorrow.

I’m sure adapting any novel for the screen, let alone something by Tim Winton whose work is beloved, is fraught with obstacles. What sort of conversations did you have with him when you were about to embark on this project?

I had a couple of conversations with him on the phone and we talked more broadly about the approach to it. Then at one of the first dinners that just he and I had together, we pretty much outlined what I wanted to take out of the novel and distill into a film. Because they’re very different mediums, you can’t do a literal translation of the book and put it on the screen—it’s not really going to work out. It has to be broken down and then reinvented as a movie. So that was the process. I had the framework and the approach to it that I needed to run by Tim. I had his go-ahead or his approval and a sort of blessing, really, to be able to fuck with it and make it my own. He was a hundred percent on board with that. In fact, he was really encouraging of that, which I thought was brave of him and very trusting of him. Then he pretty much let me go in the direction that I wanted to go. He did a very early draft of the script, but I worked a lot with Gerard Lee. When we got to a point where [Gerard] kind of wanted to make a different movie out of it, I worked on it on my own from that point on, getting it to the shape where it is now.

I saw this quote from you: “You have to be prepared to murder the book, I think, and I needed to get Tim’s permission.” I think that’s so honest and accurate.

That was pretty much it, yeah.

Breath was a seven-year journey for you to get made and you can sense that it really comes from the heart. But I understand you weren’t originally attached to direct on top of your other duties. Was there always an ambition to direct?

It was an ambition that I had for a very long time. I mean, pretty much from the point in which I was an actor arriving on set. I was like, “Yeah, this is fantastic. I’m on this set as an actor. But I’m much more interested in what that guy there is doing.” [Laughs] Because he’s the conductor. He’s the guy that’s putting the whole thing together and that always fascinated me a bit more. I like the way things work. [Directing is] a lot more consuming in so many aspects. Your time, your energy, your emotional input, your sense of craftiness—I find it far more fulfilling in so many ways than I do with acting. I wish I found acting as fulfilling. Unfortunately, I just don’t. I don’t dislike acting. I just like that all-consuming nature of directing.

Maybe there’s a kind of parallel to be made between you, a veteran actor, directing these newcomer actors, and Sando mentoring the kids. Did that bring back some memories from when you first started out in the business?

A hundred percent. We were kind of living the story of the film in the making of the film in a lot of ways. It did make me [feel that way], just like probably how Sando aligns himself with these two young guys because I think he’s fearing his own mortality—a midlife crisis or something. Being around those two guys, Samson Coulter and Ben Spence who play Pikelet and Loonie, made me feel incredibly vital again. It did really energize me in a lot of ways, and because they were so raw and so natural, it kind of puts you on your toes as an actor as well.

I’ve come to learn that you surf in real life so you were well-aware of the world that you’re going into. What was your approach to capturing these expressive images on the water? For instance, how do you communicate to viewers this feeling of surfing for the very first time?

My approach was to make it feel really authentic and a big part of that authenticity is the fact that, when you’re on the water surfing, you’re exposed to such a sensory overload at times. Sometimes, you can’t see completely. Other times, you can’t hear completely. So you’re sort of immersed in the water and the things that we rely on on land are pushed to the back. It’s incredibly visual when you’re surfing on the water. Some of the glimpses of the beauty that you’re exposed to and take for granted—I wanted to capture the simplicities of what those things are because I think it’s always going to help the audience feel like they’re experiencing it themselves. Also, living that experience through a character—going from land and transitioning into the water—you never really lose sight of the protagonist. We don’t detach and then see them surfing. We go with them. I think that helps to enhance the experience. Obviously, visually, it’s shot very simply, but that visual world is incredibly beautiful. Then the sound design just enhances the visuals. The sound design is a big part of this film. If you do get a chance, go see it in a cinema with good sound. The sound design is a big factor in a lot of the sequences in the ocean.

The film is so much your baby as a filmmaker, but you also turn in a great performance as Sando. Was he immediately recognizable to you? Who did you model that character after?

He was definitely immediately recognizable to me. I’ve had very similar relationships as these boys. I’ve had relationships with Sando-like figures all through my life, particularly through their age period. I mean, my upbringing was very similar to this. I knew most of these characters quite well. I didn’t model Sando after one specific person. I think there’s a bit of a license there because Sando is just one piece in the fabric of the film and I wanted him to be the antidote to Pikelet’s father, who is quite restrained and conservative. He’s loving and gentle and thoughtful, but quite conservative. The idea was that, as a sort of mentor figure, Sando paralleled the role of Pikelet’s father, but was the antithesis of his father.

You directed a string of episodes when you were starring on The Mentalist. I know that must be a completely different beast, but that must help you nonetheless. What did you find most challenging on this directorial debut on a feature film?

Because it’s such a personal story, I think the most challenging thing for me was keeping a perspective on the bigger picture of the story for audiences that do know this world. I love movies where you enter into a world that you’re not familiar with or that’s sort of somewhat unexpected, but there’s an integrity to the world where there isn’t anything that takes you out of it once you’re in it. You’re in it for the entire film, even if it’s a science fiction film. A fantastic movie that I love is Children of Men, the Alfonso Cuaron one with Clive Owen. You enter into that world and you just buy right into it completely. There’s no bad notes that take you out of what that world is. I enjoy that aspect of watching a film, especially if I don’t know anything about it and just going in and going,”Wow, I’ve gone into this other sort of dimension.” To keep perspective on the storytelling and keeping that world authentic, whether it’s personal or not, is a challenge. But going back to what you were saying about working on shows and directing episodes of The Mentalist, it’s a completely different animal. But obviously, it’s great training ground—a great sort of practice field for doing something that immerses like Breath.

Breath offers this bit of poetry in the form of narration: “How strange it was to see men do something beautiful. Something pointless and elegant, as though nobody saw or cared.” It’s a wonderful meditation on prescribed identities and finding your own way. What does that signify for you on a personal level?

I like what you’re saying: prescribed identifies. I’ve articulated that the film’s about identities, but I haven’t used “prescribed identity” and I’m going to steal that from you, Kee. [Laughs] Because that’s exactly what it is. To me, there were so many times as a young man this pressure to comply to a certain masculine ideal. So often, you would feel like a failure because you fell short in some way or you couldn’t live up to this expectation. It puts a lot of pressure on the individual. That is a prescribed identity. What I wanted to do was set up that framework of the stereotypical, masculine, macho sort of idea and subvert it through Pikelet’s strength as an individual, in the moment that he finds his strength as an individual that defines him as a unique person. And then he sees that in his father as well. That was important to me because I’ve felt those moments as a kid. I fell short and I didn’t understand why I fell short or why I had to comply to a prescribed identity.

The Mentalist is far-reaching. You go to South Korea and they’re still rerunning episodes. I saw it come on in Austria the other day. You’ve cemented one legacy. What legacy are you looking to leave behind now?

I want to make films. I want to become a filmmaker. I want to make films that connect with people, you know? Whether I’ll be achieve that—I don’t know. I don’t think of it as so much a legacy. It’s more about just not taking the opportunities that I have for granted, more than anything. And growing. I wanna grow. I wanna learn. I wanna share these experiences with people. And when I say that, I don’t mean sharing the film with people so much as sharing the experiences of making the film because you do share that experience with a lot of people. That’s what you carry away. The film is a byproduct of that shared experience.

Is there a sophomore feature on the horizon?

There is. I’ve optioned Tim Winton’s most recent book called The Shepherd’s Hut, which is a great book. It’s tense and brutal and speaks a lot to intergeneralational, toxic masculinity.

[shirlleycoyle]

The Tamagotchi Cemetery

This article was originally published on Burials and Beyond. You can subscribe to the Burials and Beyond Patreon here.

“I thought it would be better for him here because I didn’t really want to reset him because it would be like a different thing and I was really close to him. I know that sounds stupid, but I was. But you can bury your pets and if you love something else, you can bury them as well.”

So said young mourner Danielle Perren in 1997.

Interring her pet into the beautiful farmland of Pontsmill, Cornwall, Danielle’s beloved friend was placed into a tiny wooden coffin and buried in a small square grave, there to rest in peace. Danielle’s grief was very real, but her pet? Not so much. That was a Tamagotchi.

In 1996, Japanese toy designers Aki Maita and Yokoi Akihiro debuted the first ever Tamagotchi. The tiny plastic case held the world’s first virtual pet, which, despite being a simple arrangement of pixels, required constant care and attention, lest the creature perish. Released by Bandai, the egg-shaped toy was one of the biggest fads of the 90s, maintaining a surprising popularity over the decades, with over 82 million units sold as of 2017.

The name itself is a portmanteau of two Japanese words; ‘tamago’, meaning ‘egg’ and ‘uotchi’, meaning watch. Considering the product is an egg shaped toy, the size of a watch…it seems to be pretty solid marketing.

​Image: ​​​Mathieu Polak/Sygma/ Sygma via Getty Images​

Those of us who were at school in the 90s will vividly recall a classroom of incessant bleeps and cries of ‘I’ve gotta feed ‘im’, before the eggs were promptly and unsurprisingly banned from schoolyards. From this grew a strange, rarely remembered, sideline in individuals who would take your Tamagotchi into daycare, feeding and washing them (via tiny button clicks) until you could return from school or work. As bizarre as it sounds, after recently discovering a pair of 25-year old Tamagotchi survivors, I believe nothing to be impossible.

The Tamagotchi interface is incredibly simple, with most utilising three buttons, which correspond to care functions of the creature. The pet, should it live that long, is designed to go through a basic life cycle of Baby, Child, Teenager and Adult (with later versions adding a hopeful Senior option). However, the majority of Tamagotchis had brief, fleeting lives before succumbing to death through a child’s negligence.

While many parents bought their offspring Tamagotchis as toys, others thought that a child taking responsibility for a digital creature would be an ideal pre-pet investment, to see if they were mature enough to understand the needs of another living thing. While this is an ideal moralistic exercise, what occurred in reality was a pocket of brief generational trauma where young children woke up to find that, after sleeping though muted midi cries of hunger at 3am, their new toy had perished overnight. You killed your first pet.

​Image: ​​​Mathieu Polak/Sygma/ Sygma via Getty Images​

This culpability for death is one of the strangest qualities in toy history; even the death of shoals of Sea Monkeys failed to elicit such a primal reaction of grief and blame from the very young. In the new world of portable digital pets, they were expected to entertain, but not truly die. This element of blame, guilt and finality was truly amped up in the early Japanese models where a ghost and headstone would meet the neglectful owner. In more recent English-language variants, this cemetery scene was substituted for an angel of death, or a cheery little UFO, popping in to take the Tamagotchi back to its home planet. Once you’ve inadvertently murdered your new pal, the game can be reset and you’re trusted with a strange egg baby once more.

The Tamagotchi in its many forms has never shied away from death, addressing the finality of existence in its cheery little game, but also in its genuinely bizarre cartoon.

In the ninth episode of the original tie-in anime, titled ‘The First Death’, several little creatures gather and weep inconsolably at the bedside of a dying Tamagotchi (Ginjirotchi),after a small yellow doctor with mouse ears (Mametchi) confirms death. Quickly, the soul of the deceased is surrounded by tiny little angels, who guide it to the pearly gates and Tamagotchi heaven, which is mainly pink clouds and sweets. Suddenly, the sweets disappear in a cruel trap and the Tamagotchi is tormented by little bat creatures with forks (Deviltchi), before being rescued once more and taken back into hyper-cute heaven where everyone sits down and has pudding together. The whole affair lasts a matter of minutes and is as brilliant as it is disconcerting.

I never owned a Tamagotchi in my 90s heyday, as my mother couldn’t afford the indulgence. Instead, I had a knock-off variant, a Giga Pet called ‘Compu Kitty’ from Woolworths, with which I was utterly chuffed. (I still have it to this day, unable to part with the luminous yellow crap plastic atrocity.)

I vividly remember crying when I woke up for school one morning and the pixelated cat had breathed its last. But one reset later, those tears dried, and after another six hours came another death. After that, the circle of life seemed rather less majestic and a more predictable cycle of button pushing and bleeps.

In 1996, a pet cemetery in Pontsmill, Cornwall was the first to diversify their interments and fence off a dedicated section for the burial of electronic pets. When CNN reported in 1997, they equated this very modern mourning with the established love that British people have of their traditional, breathing pets.

On January 17th 1997, two teenage girls were in Cornwall to bury their Tamagotchis, named Sid and Arty, two consoles never to be reset.

My first thought was very outdated parental shock, as Tamagotchi’s weren’t terribly cheap when they came out and to bury a brand new toy seems awfully wasteful. Taking another expensive trip to Argos wouldn’t have gone down too well in my household.

However, 14-year-old Danielle was strong in her resolve and placed the little plastic contraption into the earth. She was not alone in her beliefs either, as cemetery owner Terry Squires revealed that many international burials had been carried out in his Cornish field. Tamagotchis from as far afield as Switzerland, Germany, France, Canada and America had all been laid to rest in his pet cemetery, with many more on the way.

However, looking at Pontsmill today, there are no mentions to be found of deceased cyberpets, with the business promoting itself solely as a pet cemetery and green burial site for traditional human interments. I would be curious to know if the rudimentary headstones remain, or if the Tamagotchis and their mournful batteries were turned over or forgotten as many other crazes came and went.

For those who wanted to memorialise their Tamagotchis, but didn’t fancy burying the case in the garden, there were several online cemeteries and memorial sites for dead digital pets, where eulogies, ages and causes of death could be recorded in one enormous late 90s census.

Today, there are a handful of online Tamagotchi cemeteries still functioning, if long-abandoned. However, records of their digital death and memorials remain in sites such as Tama Talk’s Memorial page. These old GeoCities or Angelfire websites are framed in pixelated gifs and solemn MIDI music where you must adjust your eyes to decipher the spidery text against questionable repeated wallpaper. In these simple databases, names and brief epitaphs are recorded; some sincere, some dismissive and some simply odd:

Banjo – Cause of Death: Died taking the biggest crap you’ve ever seen.

Joe the Dinosaur – Cause of Death: Accidental Resetting.

‘My poor Joe. The first born. He had a good life and was taken care of very well It was unfortunate that his life had to come to such an abrupt end, whilst living in a jeans pocket. We shall all miss him very dearly.’

These eulogies and epitaphs are time capsules of young people’s first interactions with death and loss, where an essay can prove as impactful as an unplanned tumble into a bathtub. There’s a certain importance of a digital emotional connection in childhood that deserves to remain memorialised, and not lost to the ether.

The levels of emotional investment that we have with digital media, and computers in particular, has been tracked by researchers since the 1980s. Alan Turing said in his 1950 paper ‘Can Machines Think?’ that we can judge the intelligence of a computer by its performance in conversation with man. Namely, if the computer is able to convince the human subject that they are talking to a fellow human and not a machine, then human-equivalent intelligence can be determined. This test became known as the ‘Turing Test’ and is still studied and implemented today in experiments of navigating artificial technology, or the ability of ‘bots’ to mimic human interaction.

In the intervening decades, it has been noted that people attribute an increased level of personhood to a computer, not least in terms of pre-programmed gameplay. Therefore, if a Tamagotchi was able to incite very real joy and grief from its user or owner, it could be seen as the first great wave of artificial intelligence in the western world.

In more extreme contemporary circumstances, man’s relationship with digital games has snowballed. While in terms of toys, other digital pets like the Furby, Poo-Chi (which I did own briefly, but was swiftly broken by my portly, recently-divorced father screaming into its microphone on Christmas day. I’m over it. It’s fine.) or even NeoPets virtual pet community have not brought about the same primal love and devotion as the humble Tamagotchi. Perhaps it was the inevitability of death that separated our love for the Tama from its immortal digital counterparts.

However, interactions with digital gameplay appear to have moved in two separate directions; ambivalence and devotion.

Today, electronic games and pets are commonplace, providing no new emotional experiences for children who have grown up within the digital age, where entertainment can be accessed at the click of a button and nothing is finite.

On the other hand, there are instances of individuals such as a 27-year old Japanese man named Sal 9000 (the only name he would provide to the press), who was so emotionally invested in the DS Game ‘Love Plus’, decided to marry the main avatar in a lavish, if highly controversial ceremony in 2009. When questioned as to whether he could truly love a digital, pre-programmed woman, he explained that “I love this character, not a machine.” Going on to say that “I understand 100 percent that this is a game. I understand very well that I cannot marry her physically or legally.”

However, his preference for the digital, predictable and placid provoked far more discussion. Explaining that Nene Anegasakiwas better than a ‘real’ girlfriend, he listed her perks, stating that, “She doesn’t get angry if I’m late in replying to her. Well, she gets angry, but she forgives me quickly.”[1]

Sal is not alone in his preference and several others have followed in his stead, marrying digital characters in ceremonies across the world. In 2018, Japan hit the headlines again as 35-year-old school administrator Akihiko Kondo married the hologram of video game character, Hatsune Miku. Whether these marriages will last when the bride’s updates are discontinued is another matter, but our changing relationship with life, love, and death in the digital age is undeniable.

On which note, I’ll thank you for taking this strange journey with me and take my leave. My Compu Kitty needs feeding.

The Tamagotchi Cemetery syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[keneerike]

The (Wo)man in the Mirror: 5 Practices for Getting Out of Your Own Way

The following is a guest post I published on matchmaker Paul C. Brunson’s website back in 2013. It disappeared down the internet rabbit hole, so I’m reposting it here.

---

First, I would like to thank Paul for inviting me here. His work enhances lives the world over.

In an increasingly impersonal world, a deft touch with people is exceedingly rare. Women, especially, are expected to hold their own on the social front on every occasion. It's not hard to get in your own way, fumbling away a chance to land the right guy or advance your career. Every day brings new opportunities to put your best foot forward.

Here are a few suggestions for doing just that.

1) Introduce yourself to someone new

Meet one new person at every function you attend.

This is easier to accomplish if you're part of a smaller group, say two or three people, instead of a larger one. There's more motivation to explore the environment and meet new people.

It also increases the chances of someone introducing themselves to you. Approaching a big group of people you don't know is intimidating.

Introducing yourself to just one or two people? Much less so.

There are ways to combat social anxiety and dedicated practice only makes it easier. Besides the benefit of adding people to your personal network, you sharpen observation and conversation skills as well.

Soon, you'll realize initiating conversation doesn't have to be terrifying. It puts others at ease and confers a certain level of respect on the person doing it. Hunker down with a group of people you already know and you're missing out.

Women can take the initiative while still being graceful and congenial; no loss of femininity required.  

The line between confidence and obnoxious aggression is wider than you think.

2) Know when to fold 'em: Reading Body Language

Much of our body language is involuntary, but if you're aware of some of the signals you're sending, you can project the image you’re looking for. Better still, you can identify the people most receptive to your message.

We want to avoid 'square peg/round-hole' situations where personalities and interests don't jibe.

Paul touched on this in his "don't fall in love with potential" post. You can be enamored with the IDEA of someone or something, but shouldn't force what isn't there. Rocky relationships stay rocky until the underlying problems are addressed (and many of those issues are intractable). Even if you invest in a long-term relationship with someone in the hopes that it'll work, you'll be miserable.

Adversity does not build character---it reveals it.

While you're spending your energy maintaining the illusion that this is your ideal partner, the real you will lurk just beneath that veneer, itching to emerge.

It's the same Sunday night anxiety suffered by millions around the world, knowing another frustrating work week awaits them on Monday. The sooner you stop swimming against the tide, the better.

Your body is telling you something: listen to it. The fact that we're notoriously bad at predicting what will make us happy should be enough cause for concern.

If you're marrying for money, to quell social pressure, or maintain appearances, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

3) "It's not you, it's me. Really."

Me, Me, Me = Dull, Dull, Dull.

Focus on other people. Ask them about themselves, what they like. Don't monopolize the conversation or carry on about topics only you care about. People like talking about themselves and what's important to them. Self-absorption seldom wears well.

You stand out by actually listening to what others have to say, instead of just waiting to talk (like most people).

How to lose friends and business deals.

Knowing what people want does not hurt, either.

I’m going to offer a solid piece of advice. It might hurt some feelings, but it’s the unabashed truth.

Many men detest short hair on women.

I don't mean "I like the bangs on your new bob" low.

I'm talking about "Did you just get a Dark Caesar at the barbershop?" low.

Some women can pull those super-low cuts off, but it's a dicey proposition. Yes, you do save time and money on hair care, but it's just not a feminine look.

It just isn't.

Physical attractiveness is a prerequisite for lasting relationships and carries a fair amount of weight in the office, too. All the more reason to stay in shape and take care of your appearance.

It may sound superficial, but that's the world we live in.

Rock a low-cut at your own risk.

4) Find a way to help

This one’s a corollary to number three.

You'd be surprised how much impact you can have with a small gesture. Do something for someone without any expectation of a reward. Ask them about their day or offer to solve a problem. It could set in motion a series of positive interactions and you never know where that might take you.

The psychological principle of Reciprocity---people feel compelled to do something for you when you've done something for them---weighs heavy here.

Again, people love to talk about themselves and love it even more when someone is willing to listen (so much so that it's a driving force in an entire industry).

A sympathetic ear will always be a valued commodity.

Establish a reputation for being thoughtful and genuine and you'll be known for providing great company.

5) Smile

Practice smiling in the mirror. Seriously.

We've already discussed the importance of body language in your daily interactions. Put your best foot forward by putting your best face forward.

Actresses worth their salt have perfected smiling on command. No reason you can’t do it, too.

How do your cheeks feel? What position is your mouth in? Any movement of the eyebrows? These are the kind of questions you should be wrestling with while practicing so you can throw out the perfect smile on cue.

The physical act of smiling is also a proven way to elevate your mood. People who look happy are easier to approach and when someone smiles at us we naturally smile in response, creating a positive self-fulfilling prophecy. Flashing a smile is the quickest way to disarm strangers and set the stage for positive interactions.  

Like many things in life, a little effort and forethought is often enough to separate you from the crowd. In addition to wielding an ever-effective social lubricant, you'll be able to take pictures without looking like a serial killer.

 Comments or questions? Always love to hear ‘em.

[annasdesignblog-blog]

Week 7 - Practitioner Meet Up

I have originally planned on visiting a studio, as this is the type of environment I would ideally like to work in after graduating at university, so seeing what one works like would be a good experience. Unfortunately, trying to visit a studio for even a maximum of 20 minutes had proven to be very difficult and I didn’t receive many responses from studios willing to let me come visit due to them being very busy. I have decided to instead look into freelance and individual designers as a contrast to studio work – I have received some responses this time, and the work of one artist in particular caught my eye. After a week or so of planning, I have met up with a local Derby graphic designer on the 14th March. 

The designer was Kieran Harrod, an independent Creative Director and Graphic Designer, practicing design since 1999 – his website can be viewed here: https://derby.graphics/. Kieran was very modest and very polite all throughout our meeting; we have met at Rask on Sadler Gate, a coffee shop right next to Sadler Gate studios where Kieran can be found every Thursday using the studio space. 

Sadler Gate Studios, Bauman Lyons photography.

The meeting consisted of me asking questions I have prepared, and a general chat and advice at the end. I have started by asking Kieran about his background and how he got into the industry:

How did you get into the industry?  

“I have studied design at Chesterfield College late 80s; at that time, Chesterfield College was the place in Derbyshire to study design. I have then got into University of Staffordshire to study Multimedia Graphic Design, however I wasn’t exactly happy with my experience as I found my lecturers not very helpful or useful. I then worked a couple of jobs, and then had a breakthrough working at UMC Group Ltd as a Mac Operator, designing brochures, websites, banners, posters and exhibitions as part of a small in house marketing team. After about 2 years, I got promoted to a Marketing Manager, managing three other team members and gaining new responsibilities. After that, I was a Writer for LogoCurious.us, which is a collection of images, links and articles relating to logo design and branding - it's a collection of my thoughts on logo design from around the world. After this, I became a freelance designer due to starting a family as I wanted something more flexible and to fit my schedule around theirs.”

Can you tell me more about being a freelance designer?

“Before deciding to go independent, I have created a business place which I learnt about on a course I did – “Expanding Enterprise” – which looked at finances, cash flow, taxes etc. They made me calculate how much I need to earn, my cost and made me also think about how I would go about getting my business. I have a website which is my main platform to get business – half of my clients come from this, whilst the rest are word of a mouth and a good reputation. Getting your name out there is so important, and a good reputation really helps that. I find that I have more responsibilities being a freelance designer in comparison to when I worked in house – I have to arrange meetings, market and promote myself, invoicing and the actual work itself. When I have the time, I do school visits to try to get them to be interested in graphic design as well as doing visits like this one with you today – this is something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I weren’t freelance. So I’d say freelance has definitely much more flexibility, however the pay isn’t constant so that’s a big factor to consider when going freelance.”

How do you go about designing something as a freelance designer?

“I always start off my researching the company I am working for and create an aesthetic I want to work with based on that research. The research can either be through the company’s website or I will call them up and ask them to tell me more about the company that way. I then start to think about design – I never Google already existing logos as I want to create something unique, and I don’t like being literal in my design. I design using my style of geometric shapes and modernist influences; I’m not very illustrative. I then create a couple of mock-ups, and it goes from there – depends on how much the client has paid what I do next”. 

Do you have constant business / work flow?

“I only do work that’s worth my time and the money in all honesty. Many of my customers come back, so I have regulars who require new designs. I have a good relationship with them – they respect my opinion when it comes to design, and in return I give them my time and an outcome that they are satisfied with.”

Do you mainly work digitally or do anything by hand?

“I always start any ideas by sketching. I also sketch when I can when I’m out and about – I carry my bullet journal on me always as I also take notes there too of things I have to do as a reminder.”

Kieran has then shown me his current bullet journal and the rough sketches and ideas in it.

Do you mainly work with Derby based companies?

“Mostly yes, but I do work all around Derbyshire, as well as having worked with companies from Nottinghamshire and Staffordshire previously too. It’s easier if a company is quite local as I like to meet up in person to talk ideas out with the customer and I can become valuable to them this way as they can see me as an expert on all things design.”

Do you keep in touch with the design community in Derby?

“A little bit in all honesty – I don’t think I network as much as I should. I talk to the designers who I share the studio space with – when I work at Sadler Gate studios, I get to socialise with many designers as the studios are so busy; it’s a hub of creative people. You really do get results from networking though, so perhaps this is one of my goals for the future – to network more.”

What do you do when you’re not designing?

“I mainly focus on my family as I have four children. We enjoy playing with Lego together and watching things about Lego on YouTube. I also love board games, and encourage my kids to play too. I am a keen podcast and radio listener too.” 

What is your favourite project you’ve worked on?

“Skyeland Soft Play Logo & Branding project I worked on (the full project can be viewed here: https://derby.graphics/portfolio_page/skyeland-soft-play-logo-branding/). 

However, I didn’t charge enough for the amount of work I’ve produced for them! The company came to me with a firm idea, like most companies do, which I followed but gave my own insight to achieve the final logo.”   

What are you currently working on, if anything? 

“I am currently working with Corporate Hire company from Derby who are all about hiring audio and visual equipment. I am creating branding for them, which is what I like – I prefer creating a whole branding identity, instead of just a logo as I like getting to know the brand. I am also creating artwork for a DJ, based in Derby again, that would go on Spotify and iTunes, a brochure for an embroidery business, and branding for a security company. I normally have multiple projects to work on rather than just one, and I prioritise my customers based on the money they paid as different amount of money gets different attention I pay to the customer.”   

What are your plans for the next couple of years, if any? 

“I’ve been freelance for years now and my biggest stress is time, so to solve this I have been thinking about expanding and hiring more staff to work alongside me but this would require starting from scratch again as I would have to create a whole new studio, and even company perhaps. However, I would need more money for this so either getting more business or charging more, which isn’t exactly what I want to do though. This is an idea for when my kids grow up more and start high school, so maybe in like 4 or 5 years.”   

Are you satisfied with your business?

“Yes – I am very lucky I get to design everyday as it’s something I love. I don’t like the invoicing, tax etc side of it, but apart from that I love everything else. It can be difficult money wise sometimes when I have no business or don’t get paid much, however those are rare. The work hours vary which I like again as it’s exciting and never dull.”    

After about an hour of me finding out about Kieran’s work and being a freelance designer in general, we had a general chat about design and Kieran was keen on finding more about my design and university experience so projects I’ve worked on, currently am working on and what I want to do in the next couple of years. This led to Kieran giving me loads of tips and advice on putting a portfolio, as he himself has hired people before and judged many portfolios: 

Include around 6 really good pieces of work you are happy with 

This work has to make you stand out – so don’t include projects that are very common, such as album covers

Make the effort to meet the person hiring or visiting the company in person as it makes a very good impression – shows that you care, and your work will definitely be looked at 

Show a variety of work if you consider yourself versatile

Be accurate always – no spelling errors, bad quality prints etc.     

When I voiced my concern about not having much work I actually want to include in my portfolio, Kieran suggested I should look at briefs online or do some branding for a charity to boost my portfolio – he strongly said not to do fake briefs, as those simply don’t work as your work isn’t ‘real’.  

After about an hour and a half at Rask, Kieran invited me to Sadler Gate studios, for a quick visit to see what the workspace looked like – the workspace was made up of one room, with a large window, a desk in the middle of the room and a book shelf on the other side. It was really spacious, clear and neat.

This meet up was really useful to me as I now understand what being a freelance designer is looks like, and that it is actually more than just about having more free time, being flexible and only designing – there are many more responsibilities included as you are managing yourself.   

Action Plan:

The portfolio advice has inspired me to research what makes a strong portfolio, and what I would need to show if I were to make one to go into my preferred areas of Graphic Design – so branding and editorial. This will be really useful to know as this is vital when applying for jobs.

[lingeringscars]

bellamy - 42, 47, 2:), 6, 10, 22, 23

Character Solidifying // always accepting !!

42. what does your character want most? what do they need really badly, compulsively? what are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

Honestly, the only thing he needs is Octavia, which is…not the best thing in the world, obviously. he’d do absolutely anything for her and would risk his life over and over and over again if it meant protecting her. he’ll keep coming back no matter how hard she pushes him away, and it’s terrifying because losing her would be like losing his heart. 

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Do they want to be visible or invisible?

so it largely depends on who he’s talking to for all of these. basically he doesn’t really try to project an image of anything unless he’s trying to comfort someone. then he pretends like he knows what he’s doing. otherwise, it’s basically..him? if need be he ensures that they all know who’s in charge but he largely just acts like himself. and he also tries to be invisible the majority of the time to protect the people he loves re: tasha, octavia, even clarke to an extent. otherwise, he makes his presence very clear and he’s very good at what he does and has that natural born leader instinct so in conclusion, he wants to be what he needs to be to protect the ones he cares about. 

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

lmaooo he hung onto every word his mother ever said. he had a lot of power when he was younger because the second his sister was born, he was put in charge of her, and that became his motto. his mom told him that o was his responsibility, and he never looked back. he got to name her and read to her and protect her like big brothers do, and that’s something he attributes to his mother. it also leads to the whole mess of problems because he had to help hide her and contributed to his lack of boundaries because it was his job. he treated o more like a job than a sister, and that damaged their relationship. yet he still idolizes his mom and resents the government that put her to death. and the only thing he hates is that she wasn’t more careful. otherwise he’s basically a mama’s boy and would have done anything for this woman if she asked ( and she did )

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

rejection. he doesn’t resent his mother for it because he’s to busy being angry at jaha. he felt affection from o but it was never enough bc their relationship was largely what if’s. he brushed it off because duty but she abandoned them emotionally after o was born because she was too busy trying to ensure that she would never be caught. he had to keep to himself and never shine any light on him or his family or it would be a disaster, and after it happened, he was completely isolated. he was largely alone and didn’t have any friends on the arc. his only friend was his sister who shouldn’t exist and didn’t in the arc’s eyes. so really, all he had was his books and training, until he was demoted and then he had a job and an empty room. 

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

he’s a mixture of both street and book smart. he’s a huge history buff and loves mythology but he cares less about math and science. he’s nowhere near raven’s level of intelligence but likes to think he’s on par with clarke, even if it’s in different ways. he’s a hard worker and a fast learner, which is why he can shoot so well, and he’s good at developing personal relationships and bonds, as seen through his ability to inspire people. this is all his form of intelligence. it’s not cookie-cutter genius, but it’s still there. he’s good at strategy. he can figure out a plan in a war and is good at his own Trojan horses. and this is all from the skills that he picked up. his common sense is good except that sometimes he can be too trusting re: echo or not trusting enough re: lexa. but as a whole, he is an intellectual and if the circumstances were different, would love academia. 

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

he doesn’t really have a type. he pretty much is attracted to who he’s attracted to, but he does like a mixture between confidence and vulnerability. he’d also like them to have their wits about them and be able to keep up with him. being in shape and giving him a run for his money in matches is also a turn on :/ as for his friends, he doesn’t have many. but again, it comes down to a level of respect. you have to prove that you’re a decent person and that he can trust you, and that will go a long way. strong and dependable. he’s fine with one night stands when he’s putting on an act or the world is ending, but he’s actually a romantic at heart and wants something long term. so he doesn’t have a lot of lovers, despite popular belief. basically he wants a connection :/ 

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

basically what i said above about trust and dependability. he wants to have discussions about random shit at 3 in the morning and to contemplate life. he wants to be able to make mythology references with someone who somewhat understands them. he wants to come home and know that whoever is with is happy and that they make him happy. he basically just wants them to feel safe. as for what he thinks and feels of sex, he loves it :/ he loves the intimacy and the closeness. he likes the vulnerability that comes with showing that much of yourself, and really just enjoys the whole feel. the physicality is just a++ and he’ll never recover :/ basically give bellamy blake sex bc the boy loves it.  

[alice-larsson-blog1]

001 - What is your character’s name? 

Up until four years ago all Alice had was the one name, not that she even knows that much about it. She has to assume it was a choice made by her mother, but if it was then it was never discussed between them the eleven years that Alice lived with her. There was no need for second names or surnames in the commune so that is all she was, Alice. This only continued during her move to her father’s coven when she was eleven. She was still kept separate from society through her teenage years and so still had no use for a surname. It wasn’t until she arrived in safe haven that she even learned that a normal person would have more than one name, and so to be able to fit in Dexter chose the surname for her. It means very little to her, other than it is needed to get by in modern society.

Alice means: noble or nobility. (Or Sweet.) Celtic, German & French. Her mother chose the name hoping to inspire her offspring to become the future leader of their coven/commune - Alice had after-all been produced from a purposefully selected coupling between a powerful witch and warlock to create a child with even greater power.

002 - How old is your character?

Alice is 26, however she feels like she has missed out on her entire life and knows a lot less than someone her age should. She grew up in a commune where as soon as she understood words and language she was taught about her nature. Up until she was eleven she was taught a great deal about her powers, helped by their natural surroundings and minimal lifestyle, but very little else. Basic comprehension of reading, writing and maths (for measuring out the correct ingredients) were as far as her childhood education went. Though she was taught more in her father’s coven she was still being led down a certain path, given histories that painted humans as violent monsters that did not deserve her kindness. Arriving in safe haven it was painfully obvious to her how little she knew, and how much of what she knew was a doctored truth. The first year of her free life was spent reading a wide variety of books, many of which now line the many shelves in her home, before she dared venture into the world. There are still moments of confusion but Alice feels she is in a much better place than she was, but her self education still continues to this day.

Human interactions were harder to learn, it was more a case or trial and error. And a lot of guidance from human friend Dexter. 

003 - What does your character look like? 

She would like to consider herself a plain Jane even if it’s not entirely true, she doesn’t really acknowledge anything about herself particularly “beautiful” no matter how many times she is told so and is just happy with herself. She’s 5′4 and a slim build, which comes from years living in a forest followed by her own healthy diet filled with a lot of homegrown items from her garden. Her brown hair reaches just past her shoulders, a shade or so lighter than her eyes. Alice has very little time nor patience for make-up and most days will leave the house without wearing any, though she is slowly practicing with it for the possibility of wearing it in the future.

004 - How does your character dress? 

Alice had to receive a crash course in fashion upon arrival in safe haven on top of everything else, up until then she had just worn whatever she was given by respective parents and had never felt a need to complain. If asked to describe her wardrobe now in one word it would be: 

practical.

Filled

 with button up shirts, blouses, jeans and simple dresses. She never ventures far with colours much preferring whites, baby pinks or anything else as subtle. Anything that allows for quick and easy mix and match. Her own appearance isn’t much of a big deal to her, she prefers outfits that are casual and allow her to go about her daily life in her shop with very little hassle, including quick pin backs of her hair (most of the time with whatever is handy - e.g. her pencil which causes great hassle when she needs it later). Alice is not a vain creature, she has had no need to be for the majority of her life, and so as long as she looks presentable and is comfortable she’s perfectly happy.

This is not to say she wouldn’t venture into other clothing styles, after missing so much Alice is often willing to try a lot she just needs a little encouragement to get there. She’s happy to be dressed up, for a while at least, when it is required of her.

005- What are some notable relationships your character has? 

Parents

- As far as Alice is concerned she has no relationship with her parents, she hasn’t seen or spoken to her mother since she was eleven and though her father tries she refuses to acknowledge him. She feels betrayed by her mother for keeping her as secluded as she did, lying to her and stealing her childhood from her. A part of her also resents her mother for never coming to find her after she left with her father. Her father’s betrayal still goes on even though Alice left him behind four years ago. She was brainwashed by him in her teens to believe humans were evil and her magic would be all that could destroy them, an ideal which as soon as she learned was false she fled. His manipulation cuts deep and is why she now refuses to venture further than white magic, in fear that if she dabbles in the dark her father may yet have his way. Since opening her shop two years ago is when he made her presence known to her again, by smashing up the place as a message. Sporadically he continues to smash up the shop, a constant reminder that she cannot escape him and out of fear Alice just cleans it up every time and tries to ignore it, while she can.

Caleb - The closest thing Alice has to an ex. They were ‘paired’ on her 18th birthday, placed together in hopes of producing powerful offspring. Alice’s early childhood in the commune gave her great knowledge of herbs and their uses, and so for the four years of their ‘coven marriage’ she religiously used a particular one that prevented any pregnancies until she felt that she was ready for them. More, she wanted to get to know her supposed life partner before committing (something that seemed odd in the coven but she now knows is a perfectly normal feeling). There came a point where she believed she could care for Caleb towards the end of the four years, that was until she confided in him about her doubts of her father and Caleb like a dutiful coven member turned her in. She left the very next day.

Dexter - Her one and only friend. Human. He’s the reason she doubted the words her father fed her, Dexter told her the truth when no one else would and without his help in getting out she’d still be stuck there now. In another life Alice likes to think she could have loved him, he’s handsome and kind - basically everything a girl could ask for, especially one like herself who has been through so much, and yet her feelings never ventured from platonic. His friendship over the years, and his patience at having to bring her up to speed with everything, is something she values greatly. Without it, she would be lost. He helped her set up her business and he continues to offer his support in whatever capacity it is required. He recently got married and though she is thrilled for him there is still a part of her that burns with worry, scared that he will too leave her behind as everyone before him has done.

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006 - What is in your character’s memory? 

Though her early start in life was perhaps unconventional and put her at great disadvantage Alice still looks back on the commune fondly, she sees all those years living in nature as the root of her magic. Her flower shop comes from those early years of training, all the work with different plants and herbs to make concoctions has shaped the witch that she is today.

Everything else she would much rather move on from, she believes that though unpleasant everything she has done and been through has shaped her as a person. She just doesn’t dwell on the particulars if she can help it.

007 - Where does your character live? 

Alice’s house is small, yet spacious and airy. She fills it with fresh flowers and stacks the shelves with books (as mentioned previously). It is entirely hers, it is not dictated by commune/coven rules and it has quickly become her safe space. She is comfortable in her home, though if something were to happen to the building or her belongings she wouldn’t be upset. She’s very grounded in understanding they are just objects that can be replaced, especially when it comes from growing up with very little to her name.

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008 - What is your character’s room like? 

Alice requires very little for her comfort after living in the forest for eleven years, the room is mostly the same as when she purchased the house a few years prior, with minor decoration changes that have happened over time such as bedding sheets and smaller items that dot the room. She keeps the space clean, and filled with flowers much as with every other room in the house, apart from a growing pile of books on the floor.

009 - What is your character good at?

Alice’s proudest skill is her work with flowers and herbs, though her shop is small over her years of business she’s brought joy and good health to many and after her upbringing she couldn’t wish for a better impact. 

010 - What does your character want? 

More than anything Alice just wants to be wanted. She’s been bounced around from person to person her whole life with no affection shown towards her, it’s created an emptiness in her that she carries around like a dead weight. She’s worried no one will ever want her for anything other than her powers, and because of that she has created a very solitary existence for herself to protect everyone else, and though she won’t admit it to protect herself too. She would give it all up in a heartbeat for a person who wouldn’t betray her, a chance to be cherished and matter to someone is all she’s ever wanted since she was young. She’d sacrifice the remains of her broken heart all over again, and that thought alone terrifies her.

011 - What does your character do when they’re not at home? 

Alice goes back to nature, she’ll travel out to a local reserve or mountainous area to explore and stretch her legs. She’ll especially do this when her mood is dangerously low, it’s the only way she knows to pick herself back up whenever she feels like she is on the verge of losing control. As mentioned previously nature is what she feels is the root of her magic, immersing herself in it helps her regain her center so that she can return to life in her little flower shop to continue spreading her magic. Part of the enjoyment for her is the getting mud and dirt all over her, she feels most satisfied when stepping over the threshold of her home covered in the grime of a day of exploring. She doesn’t only do it depending on mood, she also enjoys going just to be in nature and while she’s there restocking her ingredients.

012- What does your character like to do? 

Drink. The stronger the better, though her favourite is whiskey. It’s her one vice that she allows herself, the burn of the stronger drinks seem to ease some pain inside of her she spends her days ignoring. Alice also, mostly in the comfort of her own home, likes to dance. She’s not professional but she doesn’t care, with a drink in her hand and a song blaring through her home she’ll dance the night away and for a short time at least has no cares in the world.

013 - How does your character love? 

She couldn’t even begin to guess, she’s never seen love let alone felt it. Though her heart has been broken many times over she doesn’t believe she’s ever truly loved, for her it was far too easy to leave those who betrayed her behind. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe it’s real, if she didn’t have the hope of finding someone to love and  love her she would have given in to her father and gone back to him years ago. She knows that if she’s willing to push on with a life she’s not entirely sure why she’s living just for the chance then when she does find love she’s going to fall deep. As a heterosexual female, as far as she’s aware, her ideal love is someone fierce and yet a balance to her perhaps overly creative self. Too much creativity between them may clash, and she needs someone who challenges her because he believes in her not because he thinks that he can do better. 

014 - What will ultimately destroy your character? 

Her need for love, she can only give out her heart so many more times before she finally breaks. Though she vowed never to stray from white magic, with enough pain it would be easy for her to fall back into the witch she was in her youth. Without someone to pull her back she’d be lost forever, and a great danger to everyone around her. 

[saxophones]

so i took the quiz on animalinyou.com for the Death Note characters, and i’m posting the results because some of them are scarily spot-on. (i answered the questions as i though the characters would, but some of them are kind of ambiguous.)

LIGHT YAGAMI: Fox

Their agile minds are always active, and although they never intend to harm others foxes have developed a reputation for slyness and manipulation. Consequently it spends a lot of time in its head, giving the impression that it's trying to outsmart its friends. Flamboyance is usually not the fox's style, preferring to remain inconspicuous in choose subtlety and cunning over brute strength. They live in small, cozy environments and their houses are usually organized and neat. As a hunter personality, foxes are in good physical shape and enjoy sports that challenge their mind and body. Although they demand consensus in all decisions, they dominate discussions and steer the plans to reflect their own agenda. Competent in a wide range of fields, foxes are particularly well suited for a career as computer programmers, lawyers, doctors or professional chess players.

L LAWLIET: Mole

Physically, moles are not awe-inspiring individuals. Their pale skin and plump physique are usually accompanied by thick glasses or contacts that compensate for poor eyesight. However, they are comfortable with their flaccid bodies and seek companionship with others who appreciate their more philosophical qualities. Moles are restless and, although constantly engaged in activity, they never seem to get anything done. Careers are taken seriously, though. So seriously, in fact, that with their little heads down and their backs fully into the job moles may not notice the world going by. Moles have extremely sharp minds and are excellent problem solvers. As reflected in their determined burrowing through difficult terrain, moles prefer solutions with straight lines rather than having to go around problems. When confronted with difficult issues they never give up; hacking away with dogged determination until the answer is found. This attribute makes them perfect for jobs in engineering, accounting or diagnostic work.

SOICHIRO YAGAMI: Elephant

An elephant personality is a person whose deliberate movements exude confidence and calm in all aspects of his or her life. With an imposing physical presence and kind, spiritual demeanor, it moves easily through life where few barriers can hold it back. Generally slow to anger, they can sometimes exhibit a violent temper and use their powerful personality to humble and drive off unwanted intruders. When elephants set their minds to something, they don't waver in their commitment until the task is complete. Trustworthy and honest, they always let others know where they stand with regard to their feelings. In business, elephants are usually found in leadership roles as executives or company presidents and, although highly paid, are never ostentatious with their wealth.

MISA AMANE: Dog

There's something about a dog's warm, expressive eyes that'll charm your socks off every time. Dog personalities feature many of the characteristics of the canine family and are some of the kindest, warmest creatures in the animal kingdom. Dog personalities come in all shapes and sizes and it's difficult to identify them by physical appearance alone. The best way to recognize one is by its dominant trait: gregariousness. Energetic and eager-to-please, they have an overabundance of energy, spend a great deal of time at play and are frisky and happy even when hard at work. Expressive with people that they love, they readily display distaste for those they dislike. Dogs do not display the characteristically sharp intelligence and aggression of their cousins the wolf and fox. Instead, they rely on their advanced emotional senses to survive. Sensitive to the feelings of others, dog recognize the importance of dominance and submission in the social order and are ready to play their role either way.

TOUTA MATSUDA: Deer

This beautiful and delicate creature is a prime example of a prey species, and with few defenses other than its nimble mind and agile body it must be constantly on the lookout for danger. Deer are active and lithe with little excess body fat, and they enjoy and excel at most athletic pursuits. Their athleticism and grace create a fine first impression, but others find them to be scatterbrained and emotionally taxing. Because their coquettish behavior is rooted in deeply buried insecurities, they are drawn to the entertainment industry as actors and models. When it comes to their work, deer are not known for their stability - often changing jobs while looking for a long-term careers - in part because their relationships with their bosses are difficult. This is because most bosses tend to be larger, predatory animal personalities and proximity to lions, warthogs and bears make them nervous. Unless they are a member of a large team of workers, the resulting tensions cause problems.

TERU MIKAMI: Sable

Cool and confident - if not a little over-polished - sables are the most graceful of the herbivore personalities. With their outstanding physical presence and successful work ethic, they enjoy the universal admiration from colleagues and friends. Dapper in dress and noble in bearing, their tastes and lifestyle are refined and restrained and they disapprove of flashy or ostentatious behavior in any form. ...the sable sometimes feels pressured into leadership roles that it has no desire to fill, and even though it's not known to be particularly soft-hearted it's the first person to help someone in need. Sables fiercely protect their hard earned reputation for integrity, taking pride in their ability to make business deals with just a handshake. They are cautious about giving that trust to others, however, which further aggravates their reputation for taking themselves too seriously.

KIYOMI TAKADA: Swan

Throughout the ages swans have been venerated for their elegant grace and gentle beauty. So it's little surprise that these personalities attract admiration as they sail serenely through life. The swan's noble reputation is its greatest asset and it takes care to cultivate this image by always appearing calm in public.Things are very different just below the surface... for fueling the swan's elegant glide is a high-energy paddling that consumes most of its emotional stamina. The swan swain is monogamous and mates for life. These birds enjoy being pampered, and are willing to spoil their mates in return. If there is a weakness to its otherwise unflappable personality, it is in condoning its mate's boorish behavior, which is not always in the swan's best interests.

MELLO: Zebra

These strong shouldered quadrupeds are closely related to horse personalities. But since zebras have evolved in the competitive environment of the African plains, they've developed a tougher exterior and more aggressive demeanor than their cousins.Those that come into contact with the zebra find it to be a powerfully loyal and intelligent friend. Its black and white nature shuns the gray zones of compromise and its decided idealism is incapable of accepting defeat in an argument. Wild and untamable, zebras have quite an aggressive streak and their enormous self-confidence gives them an unusually swaggering gait. Quick to anger, a zebra's temper often gets the better of it and they are considered so volatile that even lion personalities will think twice before accosting them. However, they rarely initiate these confrontations and are peaceable and self-contained if left alone.

NEAR: Bat

This is a decidedly nonconformist creature, for as an airborne personality, the bat tends to look down at the conventions of the ground animals. And yet, since it is not a true bird and has not mastered the art of smooth controlled flight, it often appears awkward in social situations (hence the phrase "acting batty"). But as compensation for this social ungainliness, many bat personalities sport a built-in radar which enables them to intuitively read the motivations of others. A sixth sense gives bats a number of advantages in their work, and their insightful nature enables them to understand others better than they understand themselves. They respond poorly to direction however, and function best as a sole practitioners in their own business.

WATARI: Beaver

Beavers are the workaholics of the animal world. No animal personality places more emphasis, nor derives more self-esteem than beavers do from their careers. They can be found at all levels of the working world, though they perform best in unsupervised positions that require serious responsibility. This makes them ideal for roles as a ship's captain, naval officer, judge, accountant or bank manager. Organized and structured, their determined attitudes spill over into all aspects of their busy lives and they plan for the future almost unconsciously. Decisions made regarding their relationships, careers and families are methodically and practically prepared, and they are most comfortable at work or ensconced in their fastidiously decorated homes.  Their conscientious attitudes makes them dependable as friends and a commitment from a beaver is like money in the bank.

NAOMI MISORA: also Beaver

BEYOND BIRTHDAY: Snake

Pity the cold-blooded snakes. Without arms, wings or flippers, they are forced to slink through life in a solitary quest for warmth and acceptance. Snakes have no illusions about getting breaks in life and while they see doors opening for others, they have resigned themselves to staying in their lowly, entry level positions.  With their intimate connection to the earth and their unique perspective on life, snakes have learned to express themselves through their art. Whether writers, moviemakers or painters, they are obsessively meticulous about their craft. Every now and then, one makes an impact on the art world and is thrust into the spotlight. But the snake recoils from the glare of publicity, and its behavior becomes even more erratic than usual.