#tomorrow i have to visit my grandma plus family which is gonna be insanely stressful i dont even have a gift yet | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lilhawkens · 2 months ago

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i know the whole "oh no. my disability! it's disabling me!" is incredibly funny

and i agree, but sometimes it really just hits me like. i have a chronic illness that does disable me and makes me unable to do even the most basic stuff

i hate how dynamic the whole thing is i hate that i have good and bad days and that on good (and sometimes even on bad days) my brain just tries to convince me that i'm making it all up in my head and i hate that on bad days i can't even get out of bed i can't use the stairs i can't make myself food i can't even fucking think

i hate that i'm just expected to figure it out i hate that i'm expected to just go on

i hate that the most normal things will make me flare up and i hate people making jokes about not calling in sick cuz it doesn't count and i hate that i can't just do things anymore

#hi hello disability is incredibly traumatizing #and why does it always all just happen at the same time #ive been so stressed and sleepless and my period absolutely wrecked me #and now i had to participate in a pr event after school where i had to stand for hours and talk to random people till the late evening #and i got an inflamed eyelid too and my body is just straight up shutting down #and theres no end in sight #tomorrow i have to visit my grandma plus family which is gonna be insanely stressful i dont even have a gift yet #then school for a week and then a friend coming over on Saturday and then we need to visit a friend of my bfs #then more school and then i have my internship in malta for 6 weeks #i fucking hate that i have to live like this #chronic illness #pots #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome

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