#tom ridlde

[limetameta]

tom and hermione are siblings

fics that take tom riddle when he's a teenager and fling him into the future thus nullifying the timeline where he grew up to be voldemort are hilarious to me because they always send this maniacal and power hungry teenager who's dead set on global domination.

i'd write a fic where the thirteen year old gets flung into the future and has to navigate a society that's much kinder to the less fortunate and those who aren't purebloods

he'd be like: tbh i don't mind. i have much better rights now. the war's over you say? there's no more orphanages, you say? foster homes? social services that do a somewhat better job then they did during my time? money for the poor? food? no more rationing? oh wow okay i need some time to process all of this.

this kid grows up with much better chances.

also i feel like hermione and tom would be buds as kids if tom wasn't so constantly paranoid about the war and dying and having to act perfect and polite 100% because of dumbledore's threat to send him back to an orphanage that doesn't exist anymore!

he'd be the mean kid that knows more than hermione because he reads more than she does. and then she'd be this angry squirrel following him along constantly.

ron and harry, because there's no troll incident, aren't very friendly with her at all. hermione latches onto tom and he's like oh piss off PLEASE or I'll throw you down some of the moving stairs!

hermione doesn't treat these threats as serious threats. but when he does go ahead to push her down some stairs she GRABS A RIGHT HOLD OF HIM AND THEN THEY BOTH TUMBLE DOWN AND BREAK some teeth and some elbows from the nasty fall. that teaches them both that the other is not to be undermined.

what i'm saying is tom riddle gets to act as feral as he wants to because dumbledore's threats can't be taken seriously and he won't expel him because slughorn's still there as a teacher and refuses to let such a bright young man who's going through TIME TRAVEL TRAUMA be expelled. honestly albus, you should control this gryffindor rather.

and hermione granger's not a good person. she's a very selfish person who gets to act as bad as she wants to because tom kind of encourages it since he's bored and she clearly wants to stop being a people pleaser but doesn't know how.

draco malfoy is horrified every time he sees these two in the corridors. he's like: stop fighting! i'm a prefect!

''so?'' hermione and tom, wands out, ''who the fuck are you for us to care?''

and tom's slughorn's favourite and hermione's minerva's favourite so you just get these two nuts being as chaotic as possible while getting all of their assignments done on time and to an absurd level of perfection.

on an academic level they can't do shit to them. on a propriety level, too, they can't do shit to them. their uniforms and behaviours in class are exemplary.

hermione getting her family to take her to london for the summer so she can visit tom in his foster home and then he's just like: you're ugly leave me alone!

and she's just like: come here so i can punch you in the face!

anyway possibly the grangers adopt tom.

which kind of gets him to calm down a little bit since he doesn't have to move from an orphanage to a foster home and then to another foster home and the another one etc.

but he has to live with hermione and he doesn't know what's worse.

she shows him her dolls. he takes them and plays with her.

and if anyone's ever watched girls play dolls you know how fucking UNHINGED that can become.

they make the toys levitate with wandless magic and then fight in the air and then one barbie cuts the other barbie's head off in a brawl to the death or they go outside in the yard and attack the living shite out of some balls that they throw at each other

because you're severely underestimating how much of tom riddle the perfect prefect i'm above plebeian matters is a goddamn MASK.

this is a kid. and this is a feral kid. who was never allowed to be feral and a kid because the 40s didn't treat kids as kids, but mini-adults. besides did you see how hermione turned out? the grangers would DEFINITELY let tom do whatever the fuck he wanted as long as he was academically inclined like their daughter.

anyway ron says something about hermione being a know it all and then tom riddle just laughs at him. ''no she's not! she's stupid as 'ell!''

and then a couple of hours later ron weasley ends up cursed to cluck like a chicken for the rest of the day.

and nobody can point fingers at tom, because everyone knows tom riddle has and will fight hermione and vice versa.

but hermione knows it's him that cursed ron.

dumbledore is so horrified by what he's seeing. but he's old, you know, and he's completely mellowed out. what wasn't normal back then, upon retrospect he can kind of see that it's been completely normalized in the 90s.

but anyway tom riddle gets picked on by draco malfoy and hermione just gets out of her seat in gryffindor in the great hall, strides all the way to the slytherin table and shouts: HEY!

and tom's just: oh you done fucked up now, malfoy.

draco stands up as well: what is it granger?

hermione doesn't waste time. she punches him to the ground.

and tom's just like: now kick him while he's down and steal his wallet!

minerva and slughorn: oh gods, we'd assign detention but they've stopped showing up!!!

[limetameta]

you thought that Nobby Leach/Tom Riddle was niche? Lads, you haven't heard about my nichest ship yet. Billy Stubbs/Tom Riddle.

Last summer at Wool's. The Old Guard of Wool's (Billy Stubbs, Amy Benson, Dennis Bishop, and Tom Riddle) does not particularly enjoy the way the newest additions in the orphanage are trying to, ahem, establish that they run the place.

While Tom's in Hogwarts, there's a tug of war about influence in the orphanage where the Old Guard is clearly being outnumbered (I mean, due to the war there is an influx of more unfortunate orphans) and they absolutely do not like how they have been shoved aside.

Mrs Cole has, is, and always will remain neutral when it comes to orphan matters. She could not care less about their inter-personal squabbles. Tom Ridlde's away? It's whisky time. Tom Riddle's coming soon? It's whisky time - no rocks.

Tom Riddle returns. And finds out that his room has been occupied.

Mrs Cole offers an apology: ''Eh, war.''

Tom Riddle is lugging his trunk around the orphanage, trying to figure out whom he's going to be sharing the place with. Because if it's one of the new arrivals then he's going to need to teach them a lesson they soon won't forget.

He reaches room 27 (a horrible, terrible feeling overcomes him whenever he sees that damned number). Opens the door. Sees Billy Stubbs.

Tom Riddle doesn't know what comes over him, possibly the elation of having Mrs Cole's Golden Boy be thrown to the wolves like this, or because he's feeling uncharacteristically chatty after his travels, but the first thing out of his mouth is this: ''Did you bring anymore bunnies?'' And he gives him that feral smile he can't give anyone at Hogwarts, the Woolwich brand only the orphans know to fear.

And when Billy flinches, Tom feels complete.

''Did you meet the new arrivals?''

''Haven't met anyone other than Mrs Cole.''

''Okay. Um, they think they run the place.''

''I'll deal with it.'' He notices that the bed he has is not the one he usually uses. ''Stubbs, did you take my bed?''

''I'm taller than you are. I need the space.''

Tom Riddle looks at him. ''Stubbs, I want my fucking bed.''

''I'm taller than you are and I'm wider. What's wrong with the other bed?''

Nothing is wrong with the other bed, except that it isn't Tom's bed. ''It's not my bed.''

''Take it up with Mrs Cole.''

Tom Riddle realises that the orphans have forgotten who he is. Ever since starting Hogwarts he's become a lot more mellow at Wool's. A lot less prone to childish tantrums that end in drowned children. But Tom Riddle's being knocked about by puberty right now and he's going to allow Billy Stubbs to have any rights, whatsoever.

''I am not going to take it up with Mrs. Cole.'' Tom closes the door. ''This is Room 27. Mrs Cole has stopped doing any damage control here since I turned ten.''

''Don't be a prick.''

''Oi, I'll be whatever the fuck I want to be.''

Billy Stubbs comes to the realisation that Mrs Cole can't save him while he's living with Tom Riddle.

He needs to divert Tom's attention from the bed to something more productive. ''If you hate sharing so much, help us take down the new arrivals and I'll go back to my own room. I'm not here of my own free will, now am I?''

And Tom Riddle thinks that might be a very good and productive way to spend his time in Wool's. ''You promise to get out of this room?''

''I don't like you!''

''Well, I didn't ask that. I know that. But it appears you love my bed so much.''

''It has more SPACE than the other one. You're a head shorter than I am.''

''Because you stole my food!''

''Because what does a pipsqueak need food for?''

''To grow???''

''Stop being a smart arse!''

Mrs Cole opens the door and tells them to shut up. They're giving her a migraine. Tom and Billy apologise. Then when she closes the door they continue arguing in whispers.