#tom is actually ten so 💀 for harry | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

duplicitywrites · 7 months ago

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Harry is wiping down the front counter when he notices the boy staring at him.

Full blown, wide-eyed staring—an amusing expression on a precocious boy no older than twelve or thirteen at most, with warm brown irises and a head of cute, lolling curls that must have taken his mother ages to style.

“Hello,” Harry says in a friendly way, giving the boy a little wave.

No response, though a flush of pink seems to be steadily spreading across the boy’s soft, round cheeks.

“Are your parents around?” Harry asks, now cautious, glancing around the mostly deserted parlour.

The boy coughs. Clears his throat with a tiny harrumph that sounds more cricket than croak. “No.” His chest puffs up, his chin tilting with pride. “My father lets me go around on my own.”

Not a reassuring answer, though the use of ‘father’ draws Harry’s attention to the boy’s clothes—definitely posh, from his fancy branded polo shirt to his little leather loafers.

“Wow,” Harry says, pretending to be impressed. “You know, I think I used to run around my neighbourhood at your age.” The Dursleys never batted an eye if he came home late, and probably wouldn’t miss him if he never came home at all. “How old are you?”

The flush is more prominent now, a pretty pink-red that creeps towards the shirt collar.

“Fifteen.”

That’s absolutely a lie. Harry nods like this makes perfect sense, never mind that this kid probably couldn’t even sit in a booth without his feet dangling over the floor.

“Did you want some ice cream?” Harry asks. If he keeps this boy here, at least he’ll be safe until the parents show up.

“My name is Tom,” says the boy. His keen eyes narrow in on Harry’s plastic name tag. “Nice to meet you, Harry.”

The way Tom says his name—Harry—is perfectly polite. Rich kid with manners.

#updates #tomarry #misc #tom is actually ten so 💀 for harry

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cavemanfeet · 4 years ago

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I don't know who wrote this.

It would be HILARIOUS if it weren't so freaking accurate!! 🤣

Dear Diary 2020 Edition,

In ❄️ January, 🔥 Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran 🇮🇷 . We might actually still be almost at war with them 🤔. I don’t know, because 👩 Jen Aniston and 👨🏻 Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards 🏆 show and everyone flipped the crap out 😲, but then there was this thing happening in 🦇 🇨🇳 China, then 👑 Prince Harry and Megan ✌🏼 peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial 👩‍⚖️ , and then corona virus 🦠 showed up in the US ✔️“officially,” but then 🏀 Kobe died 😭and UK 🇬🇧 peaced out of the European Union.

In February, 🌽 Iowa pooped 💩 itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the 👩🏼‍💼Speaker of the House took ten. Whole. years. to rip up a speech , but then The👨‍🔬 🌎WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused 🤔some really important people 👔 in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty👨🏻‍⚖️, and 🇺🇸 Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺 was safe to drink🤦🏻‍♀️, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor 👨‍⚕️ who just knew the 🤒flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, stuff hit the fan👿. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust 💥, but then Italy 🇮🇹 shut its whole country down 🚷, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a 😱pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency 🆘was declared in US 🇺🇸 , but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu 💁🏻‍♀️, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? 💡 I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks👨🏻, get y’all to close all of the schools so y’all can 🙏🏼 appreciate teachers 👩‍🏫 for once (because you can’t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen🤦🏻‍♀️ ) close down all of salons so you can’t get your 💇‍♂️ hair or your nails done💅 , everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The 📉 DOW took a crap 💩 on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing 🤔 (I still don’t), We were then all introduced to 🐅 Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year , 👍🏼Carol totally killed her husband⚰️ ..... whacked him! And then Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and were all searching for lotion now.

In 🌧 April, Bernie finally busted✌🏼 himself out of the presidential race 🏃 , but then NYC 🗽became the set of The Walking Dead 💀 and we learned that no one has face masks 😷, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID , and by now our 🦁outgrowth is showing, so there’s a shortage on 📦 box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like , 😱 NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life … or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released 🎥 videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In 💐 May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets 🐝 and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games🙈 however people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with 🔫 AR-15s, 🏀⚾️sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were 🗣protests in every city🌃 ,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in 👫crowds of more than 🖐🏼🤚🏼10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away ⬅️➡️from each other . Those people must have forgotten about the 😖pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media 📺 🗞 struggled with how to 🤬focus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. A dead whale 🐋 was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest 🌳 after monkeys 🐒 stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab 🔬 and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️ narrowly missed the Earth🌍.

In ☀️ June, common sense just got thrown 🤾🏼 straight out the window and somehow 😷 wearing masks became a 🏛political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, then 👨‍🔬scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like 🙅🏽‍♂️🙅🏻‍♀️🚧DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind 💨 was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange 🛰radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe 🌌 that repeats itself every so many days 🗓 , and everyone was like 👽 DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT‼️🚫 but then America reopened 🙌🏼from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great 👎🏼. All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down 🔨 statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing 🤼‍♀️ about masks 👃🏼, but then Florida 🏖 was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Then we learned there was a massive dust cloud ☁️ coming straight at us 📍from the Sahara Desert 🐫 , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the 👻 ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then 📚 learned of meth-gators 🐊 , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card 😡 can we use it as the free space?? 🤷🏻 Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola 🚨 outbreak is over 😓, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? 👀 ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! 🐍, seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here comes July….Ghislaine Maxwell 👩🚔gets arrested, people 👥 all over America 🇺🇲 continue protests on race issues and violence there were 🗣protests in every city 🌃, Gun violence and shootings 🔫 occuring Across the Country 🌏 but Chicago 🌆 takes the 🎂 on gun violence,

Houston’s Chinese Consulate 🏛 was closed, we ended the month with random seeds 🌱being shipped to the USA 🇺🇲 from China🇨🇳

At the end of July we were over it , just tell us what’s next .... 👽 Aliens? 🔱Zeus? ☄️ Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool 😎 or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha 😂 April Fools! We all actually wouldn’t mind that joke at this point.

But August is like here I'll show you hold my beer 🍺, Spain’s Former King 🤴 👑 leaves, 2 giant 💥explosion in Beirut 🇱🇧 killing at least 220 👥 people and injuring 7000 more, A 💣grenade in North Cameroon🇨🇲 killed 15👥 people, A Derecho that traveled more than 700 miles (Inland Hurricane) 🌬💨 across 6 midwest States (NE, IA, IL, IN, WI, MI) killed one 🚴‍♂️ in Eastern Iowa and left more than 800,000 👥 without ⚡🔌power and shutting down gas stations ⛽ for miles. And folks we are only 10 days 🗓 in!

Maybe the rest of Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov, and Dec can let us have a break 🏖🌴!

Also, why didn't I know about the whale 🐋🐳 in the Amazon? Or a few other things because I just can’t keep up anymore!

But I’m sharing it because as long as we make it through 2020, I really want this to pop back up in the memories a few years from now!

Copy and share to your page!!!!!

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floridaboiler · 4 years ago

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Recap of 2020 thus far . . .

Posting this so it will pop up in my memories for years to come 🤣 (Repost)

Dear Diary 2020 Edition, In ❄️ January, 🔥 Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran 🇮🇷 . We might actually still be almost at war with them 🤔. I don’t know, because 👩 Jen Aniston and 👨🏻 Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards 🏆 show and everyone flipped the crap out 😲, but then there was this thing happening in 🦇 🇨🇳 China, then 👑 Prince Harry and Megan ✌🏼 peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial 👩‍⚖️ , and then corona virus 🦠 showed up in the US ✔️“officially,” but then 🏀 Kobe died 😭and UK 🇬🇧 peaced out of the European Union.

In February, 🌽 Iowa crapped 💩 itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the 👩🏼‍💼Speaker of the House took ten. Whole. years. to rip up a speech , but then The👨‍🔬 🌎WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused 🤔some really important people 👔 in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty👨🏻‍⚖️, and 🇺🇸 Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺 was safe to drink🤦🏻‍♀️, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor 👨‍⚕️ who just knew the 🤒flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In 💐 May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets 🐝 and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games🙈 however people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with 🔫 AR-15s, 🏀⚾️sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were 🗣protests in every city🌃 ,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in 👫crowds of more than 🖐🏼🤚🏼10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away ⬅️➡️from each other . Those people must have forgotten about the 😖pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media 📺 🗞 struggled with how to 🤬focus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. Monkeys 🐒 stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab 🔬 and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️ narrowly missed the Earth🌍.

In ☀️ June, science and common sense just got thrown 🤾🏼 straight out the window and somehow 😷 wearing masks became a 🏛political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a ✝️God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution). then 👨‍🔬scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like 🙅🏽‍♂️🙅🏻‍♀️🚧DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind 💨 was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange 🛰radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe 🌌 that repeats itself every so many days 🗓 , and everyone was like 👽 DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT‼️🚫 but then America reopened 🙌🏼from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great 👎🏼. All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down 🔨 statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing 🤼‍♀️ that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works 👃🏼, but then Florida 🏖 was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Trump 👱🏻‍♂️decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court 🏛 to shut down ❌Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic 💁🏻‍♀️ , but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud ☁️ coming straight at us 📍from the Sahara Desert 🐫 , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the 👻 ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then 📚 learned of meth-gators 🐊 , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card 😡 can we use it as the free space?? 🤷🏻 Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola 🚨 outbreak is over 😓, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? 👀 ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! 🐍, seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here is July…. at this point we are over it , just tell us what’s next .... 👽 Aliens? 🔱Zeus? ☄️ Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool 😎 or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha 😂 April Fools! We all actually wouldn’t mind that joke at this point. But No joke.. Kanye West announces he is running for President 😳🗽 but then announces he's bi-polar. 🤔

I’m sharing it because as long as we make it through 2020, I really want this to pop back up in the memories a few years from now.

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oopshisaygoodnight · 2 years ago

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queerbaiting allegations

ok there are so many little things so i’m sorry if i contradict myself here but it’s a major cover story by a prominent writer, of course it’s not going to give larries any love! and that’s for the best- press about us never goes well. but that doesn’t mean anyone should feel weak or guilty. we are not a monolith and can’t account for individual behavior which of course includes the whole gamut of feelings and some young people making silly public mistakes

twitter is a wonderful space for finding like-minded people. i’m so happy to be here, and i do not find any satisfaction in participating in hateful or mean girl behavior. there are many people who are still learning how to be held accountable for their public views but it’s not worth

i don’t take any pleasure in participating in mean girl behavior but i stand behind everyone on the front lines calling out BS and ha

harry was loud loud loud! and contradicting even himself! the whole “never been publicly with anyone” and his “gf” being interviewed???

then this is a small thing but the whole “gay sex two dudes going at it” is like… what movies have you been watching my friend. maybe i’m a biased viewer because i watch a lot of arthouse but MOST queer love stories on film are either lacking in lovemaking representation at all or handled with tenderness. but what i’m actually hearing from that quote is that MP cut the more explicit stuff (i saw a rumor specifically saying the books BJ scene was cut from the film) 💀

honestly what gay sex on film is he watching. like no, gay sex on film is not two dudes going at it??? what i’m hearing is that they cut Tom’s bj scene 💔💀

when we talk about queerbaiting we forget the context of its cultural birth- in shows and movies that played up romantic and sexual undertones between characters of the same sex to INSINUATE queerness without ever seeing it through to ACTUAL representation

famous examples are all the 2010-era tumblr favorites, sherlock probably chief amongst them in terms of heavy, heavy implication of codependent romantic feelings between the two leads

supernatural also comes to mind- huge community of castiel & dean shippers, until, in season 15 and the year of our lord 2020, castiel confesses his love in one scene and phew, you know the show beat the queerbaiting allegations by asserting he was gay all along!

the other big example for me is the social network (2010), where jesse eisenberg and andrew garfield intentionally capitalized on romantic undertones to explain the characters motivations and boy oh boy did we notice.

andrew garfield has had queerbaiter allegations leveled for a long time, and thats where the breakdown of barriers between fiction and fanfiction began culturally, in my eyes. the rise of "queerbaiting" went hand-in-hand with the argument that queer people should play queer roles

regardless of andrew garfield's actual sexual orientation (as of latest, heterosexual), he is a talented actor who knew that accessing romantic motivations for scenework made them much more compelling. but is that not the exact definition of queerbaiting as i described above?

regardless, i have found reading this piece immensely insightful and reflective of the problems at the heart of insinuated and extratextual queer romance between real people (and the joys of observing such things and processing them in fiction)

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