#tokyorev anma

[physicalturian]

[18+] Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji x F!Reader - Part 9

[Probably contains spoilers from the anime and the manga][She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone is +18]

Archiveofourown - Spotify Playlist

Words : 9441

Warnings : Explicit! / Angst / NSFW / Gaslighting / Alcohol consumption / Recreational Drug Use / Women being hot

- - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 -Part 8

After what had happened at Hanma’s place, I had gone home in a hurry. Thoughts rushed through my head, jostling, each and every one of them had the same topic, the same center of interest, and it was him. That’s all my head was filled with until I got home, how far would I have gone if I hadn’t been interrupted by that call? I had gone far enough to feel shame—no, not shame… That was worse, I didn’t regret doing it at all. His face was too pleasing to see to feel remorse and the feeling of his hands on my skin had been more than welcome. I did not know how to feel upon finding warmth in the arms of the man known as The Reaper, a man that killed for fun with the sole justification being that some of those people were assholes or bitches. He was free, that was true, but did I want to be free in the way he was? Could I not enjoy part of him without tainting myself?

I let out a laugh at the thought when I reached my house and let myself slowly slide against my door, my knees up to my chest. “Who am I kidding? I’m already stained and it’s never leaving, the more I scrub the bigger the stain fucking grows. The more I think of it the more intrusive the thoughts are!” I gripped my hair at the roots tight as I rested my forehead on my arms. He brought the unusual in my life, adrenaline, danger and provocation followed every damn time. He was everything I used to hate, everything I used to avoid in favor of the casual, the safety and what I knew. But he had this thing to him that drew me in, like an addiction, it was vicious and sick.

Yet here I was, thinking of him and wanting him. He’s managed to make me want him.

The worst was that I had felt him do it, it had been a slow build. But I still fell into his trap, his fingers had pulled the strings to make me play right into his game, forbidding me from leaving. I had let him do so. He gave and gave, like a master filling its pet’s bowl. And I would eat all of it in one go, barely taking time to enjoy it, craving anything he’d give me—then he’d be gone for days and I’d be left longing for his presence or at least what it brought. The sample of that crazy life he had dragged me into that made my world seem so silly compared to the one he had been a part of for so long. When he was not there, all I could do was manage, fare. The taste of that old routine I had was bland, but I had to get through because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t see him again, I wouldn't get my fix. The mere thought sucked the energy out of me and forced me to my bed after I had eaten.

I did hear my phone ring when I’d received a message right before going to sleep, but I was too tired to check.

All I could think of was that I’d see him sooner or later, with another errand that would have me stray further from the path I had taken my whole life. The thought itself was not as frightening as it used to be, it was almost an afterthought, one that followed my stupid consideration... If we lived closer to one another, would he visit? Would I see more of him if that were the case? I was an idiot to think that—oh I knew that, of course—but I couldn’t stop thinking of when I’d see him again, when I’d feel him close to me, his breath down my neck and his hands all over my body. I smiled in my exhausted daze.

I’m fucked.

The following morning I checked my phone upon waking up, surprising myself when I saw a text from Hanma; my heart jumped in my chest, making me put my phone down rapidly before even checking the message. How much lower could I get? “Fuck that, not this early in the morning.” I grumbled as I rolled out of bed to freshen up and get dressed. To feel productive, or maybe to busy myself instead of thinking of that sick man, I did the laundry and cleaned around a bit. After all, if my soul was not clean, my house could at least get a semblance of order. Now, there was only so long it could take to clean up a house like mine, I was done a lot faster than I thought I’d be.

So I checked Hanma’s message.

H.: Left this at my place, doll.

It was accompanied by a picture of the undergarment I wore yesterday, the same one I had been more than happy to get rid of in the heat of the moment. The same moment that made me rush out of his place, leaving the forsaken item behind. He was holding it between his thumb and index, barely touching it.

The second picture that followed was that same piece of clothing peeking from his briefcase, with a message that said.

H.: Lucky charm from my girl, can’t leave it behind.

I couldn’t believe he was that vulgar, what if he needed something from his briefcase and someone saw it, what then? I entertained the thought. They would be too embarrassed to say anything, what could they do? Laugh at him? They’d get beaten up, that would be Hanma’s way or shutting them up. And if they joked about it with him, he’d probably chuckle too before getting mad. Or maybe he would brag, maybe he would mention what we had done, who I was, he’d even go as far as to say I’m his, I was sure of it.

It didn’t sound bad.

Me: Those things don’t come cheap, I’ll need it back.

Sure, I could have told him to keep it, to burn it. But it was indeed expensive, and above all, it gave him a reason to swing by.

Me: Clean.

Me: I don’t know where you’re off to, but knowing you it’ll end up bloody.

He was typing already and as a good little idiot, I was looking at the screen the whole time while putting on my coat, I even bumped my elbow against the furniture when sliding my arm in the sleeve. Swearing under my breath when my arm went numb for a moment, I went outside and checked the message.

H.: Missing the magic word there

I rolled my eyes at that, of course he had to be like that.

Me: Please, Shuji.

H.: No blood on it, promised.

H.: You should buy sexy lingerie, if I'm gonna have you strip for me I want you to wear something I like

That was my cue to lock my screen and focus on my day. It was bad enough as it was and knowing myself, I would do something regrettable if I kept texting him, something like checking shops that sold lingerie or things in that area. I found it a lot easier to forget about him when drowning in paperwork and since I did not receive any more messages from him that day, there were no distractions either. Only professional interactions and some planning with Rai; since online shopping made it a bit harder regarding sizes, we were going to go shopping on Halloween and find a proper costume for the party. It was a bit too last minute for my taste, but I was already out of my comfort zone by going on such a casual night out with one of my coworkers, so why not make it worse?

As time went on, however, I did not receive any messages in the evening either.

I didn’t think it out of the ordinary, after all that’s how he did it. Very few messages, too much flirting and inappropriate comments, then he’d come back when he’d need something. It only happened once, yet I felt like it’d become a habit because to him ties were weaknesses, why would he need ties with me? Why would he want any? This game of his, as entertaining as it was for him, might become the end of me. I had come to that realization when after so little time, I checked my phone and saw nothing, once more. My finger hovered over his contact info, I stared at the screen intensely thinking of what bad things could happen from this stupid phone call. He could be busy and wouldn’t pick up, but would he get mad at me or would he tease me about it? Both of them seemed to be making my insides go crazy already—and if he did pick up, he would for sure make fun of me, saying how I was already missing him.

My pride was stronger than that, I decided against calling him. I could live without having any news from him. And who knows, maybe he’ll swing by tomorrow and be a bastard as always, was the most foolish thought I had before going to sleep.

Because I also believed if I had pressed the call button, it wouldn’t have been like that.

Because I didn’t hear from him again for three days after that.

Three whole days of nothing.

It’s like he had disappeared off the face of earth. Or maybe what differed from the first time he had done it was that this time I felt his absence, I was missing him. Some might even compare that feeling to withdrawal, but I was not in such a bad state to be shaking and hurting inside just from not seeing the man. I had expected this of him, I wouldn’t care—no… I shouldn’t care, I was not allowed to care when it was him because he would be doing that without feeling an ounce of remorse. It was his lifestyle, having to lay low after doing the most atrocious things just to avoid getting caught.

But laying low didn’t mean not sending a text. So, even if I shouldn’t have, I cared.

I let out a dry laugh, being mad or frustrated was not an option, he hadn’t signed up to be some emotional support of any kind. He was nothing to me, I was nothing to him. He had forced me into this lifestyle, all I could do was live like nothing had happened until he would waltz right back in. Only, I didn’t think it’d be so fast.

On my way to the mall, I had called Rai to tell her I’d be arriving soon. She’d said she was with her friends already and they’d gone get a smoothie, even sweetly asking if I’d like one. Since it was a situation that required less of a power dynamic, I thought it’d make her more comfortable if I accepted and did just that. Perhaps I also wanted one, it had been a while since I’d gone out for some other reason than dining with clients or higher-ups. I deserved some rest and it’d allow me to forget about Hanma, to focus on tonight’s party.

Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I stepped in front of the automated door which opened with a muffled whoosh. The warm air from the heater hit my face, sending shivers down my spine. The temperature was a lot different from the one inside, forcing me to take my coat and scarf off and drape them on my arm. “All I need to do is find the smoothie shop.” I mumbled as I looked ahead already, hoping there was a map that could help me.

I was thrown off guard when someone forcefully pulled me to the side, covering my mouth in the process to stop me from screaming. My first reaction was to grip their arms and claw at them, trying to turn around to see their face. Yes—those were my first reactions, but my first thought was what scared me the most. In my mind, the adrenaline shot up to the roof and for just a fraction of a second, I wondered if I would have to fight for my life, if I would have to pull out my gun and I found the thought exciting.

My face hit the wall of something metallic, the sliding sound of metal against metal also followed then my gun was pulled from my back. I thought it’d be cocked against my head, but the person with the leather gloves put it against my back before pressing their stomach against it.

The smell of cigarette and strong perfume hit my nose and memory at the same time the familiar voice said, “At this point I could fuck you against the wall, you wouldn’t even bat an eye.” Hanma said as he let go of my mouth, but still kept himself pressed against my back. I struggled against his grip all while saying in a pitiful attempt to justify my weak fighting, “I was waiting for the right opportunity. You had the element of surprise on your side, I had—” “You had a gun, but clearly you’re a bit too slow to use it.” He drawled as he moved his head over my shoulder to look me in the eyes. I met his gaze with an angry look while he smirked mockingly at me. If he was in such a playful mood, I didn’t know where this conversation would lead since clearly he wasn’t here for business, judging by his hands moving to turn me around to face him. “Or maybe you knew it was me and you like it rough?”

I laughed to his face while he used the back of his hand to caress my cheek and get my hair out of the way, but inside I felt warm upon seeing he was alive and well, “Oh absolutely! What I wouldn’t give to have you fuck me against the wall of a—” I looked around to understand where we were, then looked him dead in the eyes. “Photobooth. Most women dream of that.” Oh, the look he gave me made me feel so small in such a good way that I wanted to keep going, but I understood he had a word to say so I stared right back at him, my mouth shut. “See, doll, I think you’ve got a case of…” He trailed off and approached his lips to my ear, “...down bad.” He whispered under his breath before pulling back and smiling down at me with something I hated to admit having missed, arrogance. He knew what he was doing and he was not wrong in his statement, only I was not going to tell him that.

He continued, “Because I don’t remember saying I’d fuck you, but if you asked nicely, I might consider it.” He was dressed in a long coat and the gloves on his hands made him look even scarier, like he wouldn’t leave a trail behind him. He could grab my own gun and kill someone with it—they would think I’d have done it. Without looking away, I took his hand by the tips of his fingers and pulled the glove off; I saw his face light up with something I had never seen before, how thrilling. “It starts with a glove, then you’ll be all over me trying to get me naked. How bad of you, doll.” He said playfully. With his still gloved hand, he grabbed my arm and forced me to sit on the unmoving stool in the middle of the booth. He stood right behind me as he dug in his pockets for some coins to start the machine, not one word uttered between us as he did so. When he was done, he had to lean over a bit so that his head was in the frame, his arms lazily draped over my shoulders and barely wrapped around them too. Looking at his arms, observing what he was doing, I was about to ask something when he forced me to look ahead by gripping my chin with his ungloved hand and with that stupid grin said, “Start, it’s a little souvenir.”

Pressing start, I watched the numbers count down while enjoying his warmth behind me, the familiar feeling of his body against mine and his breathing down my neck. I met his gaze in the reflection but couldn’t bear the silence any longer. He was doing this on purpose and if it was to force me to speak, then he had won. At 3, I asked, “Where were you the last few days?” At 1 he smiled, and at 0 his mouth was right against my ear—click, “What, like you missed me?” My eyes widened, my cheeks warmed up—click, and I tried to push his face away—click, but he forced me to look at him all while smiling in pure pride—click. Maybe I did miss him, but I was not the one to blame, he had been the reason I had turned out like this.

I tried to lean over, wanting to get a taste of those lips that talked bad without ever stopping, the same lips that made want to hate him and fuck him at the same time; he leaned back laughing—click.

Hurt was written all over my face only to be replaced by pure shock when I thought he’d lean in to kiss me, but simply ghosted his lips against mine, his expression now serious—click. If not for the light tone he had used, I thought he had been mad. Instead, he pushed his luck and said, “Maybe you should have called, it’d have shown how much you wanted me,” He pulled back and put his glove back on, his smile more than satisfied, then opened the curtains of the booth. “Maybe then I would have given you whatever you wanted.” Hanma glanced to the side where the pictures had been printed and looked at the two strips of 3 pictures each. “Which one do you want? The one with hope or the one where your crush told ya off?” Of course he found it funny, he was making the most of it and was elated to have fucked with me at that very moment.

His eyes were focused on the strips while I got to my feet and walked past him to get my coat that I had dropped on the ground when he had grabbed me. That stress and anticipation that had built up during his absence had only increased during that short moment in the booth, it had been growing and growing and now—now it all fell apart and I couldn’t muster any strength to play his stupid game. “Keep the pictures, bastard,” I started with two big steps his way, stopping right in front of him to grit through my teeth, “I’m sure your sick little mind enjoys it,” I poked his temple angrily, he grabbed my wrist as his smile dropped into a deadly expression and I continued, “Maybe you’ll even jerk off to it!” I said a bit louder with a strong pull to get my wrist out of his hold. I was speaking too fast, I had been humiliated and I was now fuming, composure completely gone. “I have an even better suggestion, Hanma, hear me out—you leave for 1 week this time, yeah?” I should calm down, I was making a mistake, at any moment he could punch me to take my attitude down an inch. He wasn’t doing it now, so I took it as permission to go on.

“Then you fuck someone else right in front of me. See what I’ll do, huh? You like tests, see what I’ll fucking do then!!” I needed to lower my tone, I was getting too fired up, I was about to say something I’d regret. But this fire inside my chest had been lit so easily, he had been fueling me up, or maybe simply pouring it on me over time and I let him, only to have him look me dead in the eyes and throw a match—just to see what it’d do. Now I was on fire, I was burning, but not with passion—with ire. Had the bastard been doing all of this just to see how long it’d take for me to fall for his words, his actions, his touches?

With a deep breath, I took a step back and clenched my fist at my side while waiting for him to say anything. There was no reason for me to stay, leaving should have been the better option because staying meant he had another opportunity to fuck with my head. He didn’t speak, he only looked down at me in a way that made me believe he was mad, or annoyed at the very least. In a low voice, I said, “Say something, Shuji.” Why was I calling him by his first name? We had taken a few steps back from whatever relationship we had, was I even allowed to call him that? I had fucked up by telling him off, but it had felt so good to let all the frustration out, even at the cost of having him be disappointed in me.

“Now it’s Shuji?” His voice had lost its sparkle, its playfulness. My heart constricted in my chest; I wanted to look away, however I did the opposite and met his gaze. “Why are you still here? If I’m a bastard, you should be,” He made a gesture of shooing me, “Running off, your tail between your legs!” It was so easy for him to tick me off, why wouldn’t he apologize? Why didn’t he just do what he’d usually do and turn it into something dirty, why not tell me when I’m angry it turned him on, why—“Are you waiting for my permission? Have I conditioned you that well?” “I’m not—”

“You don’t fucking speak. I let you bark like a bitch, now you muzzle up,” He brought his hand to my mouth and pressed his finger against my lips, “and show me how good you are.” With that he slid his hand to the back of my head and gripped my nape to tilt it back as he backed me in the corner of the corridor. “Why would I fuck another whore if you’re already that willing? Huh?” He asked mockingly as he lowered his face to my level; when I opened my mouth to speak, he tutted me beratingly. I pressed my hand against his chest to push him, but ended up tightening my fist on the fabric of his coat. “Because even after I humiliated you, I could still fuck you right here and then, you wouldn’t deny me.” I wasn’t thinking anything, I was listening to each of his words, maybe hoping he’d give in to what he denied me in the booth. “So picture this, yeah?” He quirked a brow, waiting for me to nod to show I was listening. I did so and he continued while one of his hands slithered around my waist as the other moved to my cheek.

“A woman gets sucked into a criminal life, gets harassed by a criminal of quite a dubious background—she’s sadly forced to hold a gun, but doesn’t falter when he’s there to guide her,” He paused and smiled sweetly at me, I was hooked on his words but didn’t know where he was going with that. “Are you still listening?” I nodded.

“Good. Now, fast forward in time! She kills for him without him even asking her to do it, can you imagine that?” He asked in fake surprise. “And that’s barely two weeks in!” He said as if it was a twist in the story, as if he was telling it to a child. I hated hearing him talk about it; I had done that, but I had managed to bury it deep in my mind. Thinking about it made me so sick. “I’ll skim over some details, she gets fingered and likes it, even if she plays hard to get; she humps his dick—then she tries to kiss him.” He smiled sadistically and leaned over, his lips brushing over the shell of my ear, “Now you have the full picture. So I’ll ask you one simple question, are you ready?” My jaw was clenched tightly, I never said I wanted to hear him sum us up like that. With the weakest voice, I said, “Go ahead.”

I felt the breath of his chuckle against my skin, then his gloved hand as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, “Who’s the one sick in the head?” I was taken aback and let out a muffled gasp. Hanma smiled at that before leaning back and putting his hand up as if balancing things on each of his sides, “On one hand, the criminal who’s been doing this for as long as he can remember,” His stupid smile widened, he met my eyes and smirked as he said, trying to ridicule me, “On the other, we have the desperate, desperate woman who’s trying to hold onto that little sanity she has left by romanticizing violence?” I was seething hearing him put it like that, because there was no way I’d admit I was not well. He was wrong, I was not like him, I was not planning on becoming like him. And if I needed to become like him to have him, then that was it. I wouldn’t try to have him.

“Fuck, silence is so loud sometimes! I’ll fill it by suggesting one thing, it’s quite easy, even someone as dumb as you could do it,” He was once again right against me, his head leaned over as his nose brushed against mine and a wicked grin was painted across his beautiful features. “Drop the act of being a good girl, and have fun, yeah?” Without missing a beat, I replied, “No, I’m not like you. I have a job, I have a life and—”

He clicked his tongue against his teeth and brought his mouth to my ear once more, “Seems like your old life’s what’s holding you back. Let’s get rid of it and set you free, little rat.” I frowned upon hearing his words and pushed him away, making him laugh in the process. He shoved his hands in his pockets and beamed at me before saying, “The rat was dumb enough to get caught in a trap, it might hurt to get you free but it’ll be worth it, don’t you worry. We’re gonna have fun, doll.” With that, he turned around and left the mall without even listening to what I had to say about it. It was ominous and I knew I should fear his promises, his little schemes, he had been a piece of shit and a real bastard.

But it meant he wasn’t leaving me any time soon.

Before I could dawdle on the thought, I heard my name being called and faced the people calling me, seeing Rai and her friends who were waving at me with a smile. “Are you ready? We got you a smoothie!” Rai said excitedly. With a shaky breath, I took a hold of myself and straightened my back. Act as if nothing had happened, she doesn’t need to know anything. I was here to have fun and relax, and that’s what I was going to do.

The first stop was a little restaurant to get a snack before really starting the hunt for a proper costume. Rai took time to introduce her friends, one had long brown hair that faded to blond, her name was Shiho, while the other had a short, ginger cut, Aiko was her name. Another friend of theirs was going to join us at the club, since she already had her costume—she was going as a witch—she thought it better to stay home. Once we were seated, with Shiho next to me and the two other women in front of us, Rai started the conversation off strong by directing a question my way while we were looking at the menu. “Who was that guy with you by the booth? I didn't know you had a boyfriend!” I choked on my saliva all while putting the menu down and smiling in what would be perceived as a coy manner. “He... we aren't dating. He's one of the newest investors of the firm, I simply stumbled upon him and we had a heated debate about some… of his incentives, let's say.” Her face lit up, she understood and sat back on her seat after having leaned over the table on her elbows.

The two other women were pointing at the menu, debating on what to take which prompted Rai to speak again, “Are you sure you’re not into him? He’s tall, very handsome—if you have his number you should invite him to the party! He seemed into you.” She smiled sweetly. The pang in my chest hurt more than I thought it would, with a forced shyness I waved her off. “Business stays business,” more like, I don’t mix crime and normal life. I was being fake when I continued, “The policeman is already coming with a few of his friends, isn’t he? This should be fun.” She started gushing about them and the current investigation. I was glad she had dropped the topic, even if it meant I had to fake interest in a man that clearly stepped over his work boundaries by contacting me for personal purposes. At least he hadn’t texted me in the past few days, maybe he was not that bad for someone part of the juridical system. I wondered while talking with everyone and eating happily if the man was corrupted or if he was good—as good as Man could be, at least.

Huffing to myself, I could hear Hanma’s words echo in the back of my head, everyone has a price—may it be money, power or to get rid of someone, it was never hard to turn someone to the sinful side. And maybe that cop would be funnier if he was corrupted, how boring would it be if he was just kind? I did not know him, but if that was the kind of person he was, I felt this urge to see if he could be mean, instead of being a good lawful puppet. I had to force myself out of my thoughts from how unusual it was of me to think like that. What was wrong with following the rules and helping out?

Thankfully, it was time to leave and start the hunt for the perfect costume. It allowed me to drown my thoughts and focus on having the fun I had been determined to have. Now, at first, all we could see were poorly-made outfits, some were too slutty or too ugly to even be considered to be worn. That was when we decided to put something together, to buy the accessories while the outfit could be something else entirely. Without losing a second, Rai said she wanted to be a vampire, but hot. I laughed at that and looked at the other women around me. Aiko said she would be a maiden that had axe-murdered her husband, a dress, an axe and fake blood seemed easy enough. Shiho went a lot softer than Aiko, “A cat, but like Rai said, make it hot, you know?” She continued on a note that surprised me at first, before having me chuckle, “If I’m going to the club it’s to have fun and I’m surely planning on getting fucked up.” The ginger wrapped an arm around the brunette, “Well said, my friend! That reminds me, we should come prepared.” She then looked at me and raised her chin as she asked me what I wanted to go as. I had to do some quick thinking and after following my earlier train of thoughts, if I was planning on making that cop a bad guy…

“A demon—hot, of course. With the horns, dress, makeup, all black. And I’ll be joining Shiho’s mindset on getting fucked up too.” I said before guiding everyone to the clothing shop nearby, I have a few things I wanna forget just for one night, was left unsaid. If we all had the same vision of being a menace and looking drop dead gorgeous, then it was going to be easy. That is, if we did not take in consideration all the time spent in fitting rooms, of course. I was not going to complain about the time they took in there, asking for opinions or some dresses a size smaller or bigger because I did the same. It felt nice to do something like this for once, I rarely went shopping with how little time I allowed for myself and even when I did, I hardly had anyone with me. A few times I had gone with some family members when it was close to festivities, if not, I’d go alone.

Shiho was a lot less anxious than Rai, I could feel the latter’s stress when she was around me. She would talk a lot faster and try hard to not be too casual, because even if we were out of the professional space in which we’d usually interact, we both were still very aware of the dynamic that remained. Something Shiho didn’t have, it was enjoyable. While the two other women were trying out some outfits, we talked a bit. She already knew a few things about me, like the field I worked in so I asked hers. She worked with datas from labs, related to some biological experiments. I’d admit to not understanding a few things and asking for some clarification. Clearly what she was doing was important and needed to be meticulous; it was stressful, she had said, that’s why she needed this night out. “Don’t get me wrong, I love this job, but they put a lot of pressure on us. I deserve a little reward for surviving this far, you know?” Laughing at that, I agreed, “I can’t say I share the pressure you feel, I’m only doing some corporate stuff.”

She fully turned around and with a deadpan expression said, “Easy stuff, you should print more money and then no more problem, no?” I rolled my eyes with a smile and was about to start explaining to her why we couldn’t, but quickly saw she was messing with me by the mischievous smile on her lips, so I pushed her shoulder. “Scientists should just say they found a cure for X disease, that makes it work, yeah?” She clapped her hands in front of her, almost making the dresses on her lap fall by doing so, “Exactly! That’s how science works! God, we’re too smart—” Our conversation was interrupted when Rai and Aiko left the fitting booths and stood in front of us with beautiful dresses on themselves, both fitting their forms in the most flattering way. I could see from the smile on their faces they liked it too and were waiting for us to tell them, which we did without missing a beat. Shiho’s compliment was half-complimenting, half-flirting which only made me like her more, she was nice to be around. “If no man approaches you dressed like that, come to me because I’ll be taking these dresses off—” Aiko pushed her face with a loud sigh, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment, “You’re done.”

With a loud laugh, Shiho stood up; it was our turn to try the dresses we picked. I had gone a lot faster, after all Shiho had only two dresses to try and the one I had was just how I liked it, I just needed to make sure it was the right size. It hugged my form how I liked it. I had picked a black dress with a slit on the side that started at my hip all the way down the hem. If I wanted to use my charms to the best of their abilities, I needed to give a glimpse of the assets after all. A shame he won’t be there to see it, I thought without realizing what had just crossed my mind. Looking at myself in the mirror, I turned around to different angles to imagine myself with the heels I had in mind that would go well with it. I checked how easy it was to raise the dress above my waist, to let the sleeves fall from my shoulders and expose my body. I could almost imagine his tattooed hands traveling up my arms to stop at my neck and slowly trail back down to let my sleeves drop from my shoulders.

“Lovergirl, are you done? If you need a helping hand, don’t hesitate!” I heard Shiho say playfully, startling me in the process as I took off the dress and got dressed back in the clothes I had before. There was no explaining my need for this dress to give an easy access to my body, I didn’t want to fuck the cop, so why did I want to make it easier to get fucked in it? Hanma’s bored face flashed in my head, shit I was still expecting him to come. If I wanted him so bad, I could have invited him—for him to refuse and tell me I’m desperate? No, I had more pride than that, I couldn’t linger on this man that clearly had fun hurting me.

I thought this in the hope it’d work, even if I couldn’t ignore this pull in my chest just at the thought of him.

Pulling the curtains open, I smiled softly and lifted the dress. “This one’s perfect, all we need is the accessories and maybe some protection and we’ll be set for tonight.” They hollered happily as we made our way to the next shop, it did have most of what we needed. For my part, I bought simple black gloves that went up to my elbow and horns on a headband. I already owned a purse that was big enough for any necessities I might need out there and Rai happily suggested to get dressed at her place. So, with a detour by my place to get the purse, we got to her place after getting all that we needed from the mall.

Her apartment wasn’t too far from the firm, which explained how she always got there on time. The inside of it was a real mess. Just like the girl’s energy. “Should we get some drinks before getting there? We should all do three shots once we got dressed, at least! For nerves, courage and luck!” Aiko said. Her energy was matched by Shiho who pulled her dress from the bag and started getting ready as they spoke. I joined them and put on the dress before wrapping a towel around my neck to not dirty it when putting on the makeup. The chatter around us felt like the one there would be in the girls’ changing room in highschool, it felt like a throwback in a good way to have other people around me. Even if I had met these people recently, it was comforting to hang out with normal people without stressing over anything but the time left before we’d have to leave. Shiho had opened a wine bottle while we talked and poured all of us a drink that I couldn’t drink at the moment with Rai’s hands on my face, her mouth half-open from how focused she was on painting my face. “No, because, when I say I wanna get wasted I mean—the first guy that looks hot enough or crazy enough, I’ll go for him!” Shiho said while painting her nails.

“They say the crazier the man, the crazier the sex, right?” She continued. Chuckling, I tried to look at her in the reflection of the mirror, only to have Rai force me to look back at her with a fake-annoyance. “I think you’re the only one who says that, I’m rooting for you though. As long as you’re careful.” I replied, raising my fist in a combative manner to show her my support. She laughed loudly, perhaps already a bit tipsy but not drunk. “Danger’s what makes it hot, why would I wanna be careful?” Aiko pitched in while doing her hair, “Maybe it’s a dangerous sicko? If I’m flirting with a girl and she’s being super possessive right off the bat, I’m running, girl.” For some reason I was invested in their discussion, but did not participate in it, because right now I was on Shiho’s side of liking the danger, even if I used to hate it. “I mean, wouldn’t you play along just for one night? See where it goes? If she’s hot, you know?” I had played along for a lot more than one night, even before finding him any sort of charming, before thinking him attractive and that had fucked me over, I thought dryly.

“I don’t know? Maybe, but she has to be really hot though…” She pondered for a moment then changed her mind, “Nah, I’d be down bad too quick. If she’s manipulative and I stay too long I might stay—if she’s into me enough to want to keep me at all costs, you know…” She waved her hands in front of herself once again, her head following. “Nope, I’ll find a pretty girl that’s nice, you take the toxic people, Shiho.” The ginger said with a laugh that the brunette mirrored without hesitating. She was putting on her heels and once she was done, she downed her drink. “Gladly, as long as it’s fun, I’ll endure anyone’s personality for one night.”

Rai took it as her turn to speak, “I thought you’d be interested in the cute policeman? Shusuke’s friends are probably a lot like him, he seemed kind.” She said softly, earning herself a dead silence. Her face heated up quickly when we all started chuckling, Aiko laughing louder than us, quickly turning into a fit of giggles she couldn’t stop. I was the only one focused enough to formulate a proper sentence, “Maybe if it had been a sort of double date or something, sure. But I think tonight isn’t the night to find someone you want your parents to meet, it’s more of a… letting out your inner demons—” Shiho popped over my shoulder and grinned, “Be horny and free, if you will!” Rai rolled her eyes and smiled without fighting us on it. Clearly we had a different mindset on what would happen tonight, but she’d do her thing, flirt sweetly with one of the men who’d meet us there while we’d try to find someone fun. At least, that’s what they’d do, I had something else in mind, something that hadn’t left my stupid head ever since I first thought of it.

That very much stayed at the forefront of my brain as we walked to the entrance of the club that was decorated with pumpkins, candles and fake spiderwebs. Even if it was not the smartest thing and I was probably doing exactly what he wanted me to do by going out tonight, he wasn’t here. So I’ll do exactly as he said, I’ll drop the act of being a good girl and do my best to corrupt that kind-looking cop that was already seated at the bar with his friends.

When he saw us arrive, he nudged his friends and stood up from his stool to greet us with a huge grin. I looked around on our way to them, the bar was right in the middle of the big room, the ceiling was pretty high up with lamps hanging from it and lighting up the room dimly. To the left were a few couches in a U-shape with people cozily seated in them, some making out, others chatting while their drink was on the low table in front of them. In the couch in the furthest corner of the room were some people that seemed like they were having a different kind of fun, judging by the powder on the table. I met the eyes of one of the girls that was slumped on the couch and quickly looked straight ahead where my friends had started talking with everyone. On the right was a little floor with tables and chairs for people less into dancing and drinking and more into casual discussion, along with a pool table right in the middle of it.

If I followed the signs on the wall, the safety exit and the toilets were both on the other side of the bar, which could be useful for later—“Here, I got you a drink.” Officer Hansuke thrusted a glass in my hand, a huge smile on his lips as he did so. I was a bit unsure and discreetly looked at it, taking a sniff for anything weird as I brought it to my lips before pulling it away, “You know what? Chug it! We’ve already had a few drinks, you should catch up first.” I said in a playful way. I wasn’t interested in him in any way, but I hadn’t seen the bartender make the drink and even if I didn’t know the man in front of me, I’m sure he did not keep his eyes on the drink the entire time he had it. Who knows, maybe he had even drugged it, but that was too early to tell.

Without even considering I was lying or avoiding his drink, he laughed and chugged the cocktail, “Fair enough!” Shusuke put the glass back on the counter and said something to everyone before coming back to me and leaning over to find a reason to place his hand on my shoulder as he asked me what I wanted to drink. With a forced charming laugh, I placed my hand on his and met his eyes, “Whatever you’re having is fine, I’m not picky.” I was just in the mood to get drunk, but I knew it’d make him like me even more if I liked what he liked. His eyes travelled to my lips then my dress before meeting my eyes again and smiling, “I didn’t know accountants could look like that, I'll get your drink.” He winked. I had to hold back a grimace, if he thought that was a compliment he was dead wrong, but then again I wasn’t expecting anything from the man. Seeing Shiho walk to the dancefloor, I gave her a thumbs up and she brought her drink to her lips with a grin, giving me a thumbs up back. I joined Shusuke at the bar to keep an eye on my drink the entire time and took it from the counter the moment it was done. I held it with my hand above the glass and waited until his drink was done.

When he was ready, he placed a hand on my lower back and said very close to my ear, “We should get a seat,” He nodded towards the couches across the dancefloor where people were making out; I let him guide me, but did not plan on doing that just yet. If at all. I wanted something more entertaining, I wanted to test him. Mimicking him, I placed my hand on his lower back and started off strong, “What, are we about to do cocaine? I’m sure the people over there have some.” I made it so my tone was half-kidding, half-not, he’d go with whichever he was most comfortable with. I continued, “Didn’t think you were the type, officer.” I had no idea what he was disguised as, he was dressed in a white suit but that was it. And it did not suit him at all, perhaps he should have taken the safe option of keeping his officer uniform. “Tonight I’m an Italian mafioso, I’m up for anything.” He chuckled as we sat down far from the other people on the large couch. Giving him a once over, I held back a snicker. Instead, I laughed charmingly while putting my hand on his knee and taking a sip of my drink, “Is that so? Let’s break some rules tonight, then?”

His eyes widened, then his hand was on my thigh, gripping it tight. “No kissing on the first date, is that one of the rules we can break?” He said with his face already close to mine. To ruin his enthusiasm, I brought the glass to my lips and shrugged, “Not very criminal of you to ask.” I said sarcastically. He laughed and placed his arm on the back of the couch, behind my shoulders and started talking about that one guy he had caught a while back. Barely 5 minutes in, I had finished my drink and had to interrupt him to get another. “Do you need anything? I’ll go get another one.” I said, raising my empty glass. He shook his head and when I turned around, his hand slapped my ass. I was quick to give him a glare, he only grinned proudly, “Did you like it?” I had to hold back a cringe. Instead I smiled politely, “Don’t do that again, thank you.” He rolled his eyes and said he understood the message before letting me go to the counter.

He clearly did not seem to have an ounce of fun in him, there was no charisma, he was just… a man with a boring job. Once I was at the bar, I asked for three shots and a cocktail. I was already starting to enjoy the music more and couldn’t care less about the loudness of people around me, but if I was going to have to manage this until the end of the night, I needed to be dead drunk. Downing the shots one after the other, it burnt my throat in that awfully good way that made one feel alive. I thanked the bartender and waited for my cocktail with my arms on the counter. “So you’re here too?” I heard a familiar voice say.

My face was heating up from everything I had drank already, but my body ran cold when I saw who was next to me. “Rindou? Why are you here?” My hand instinctively went to my purse to hold the gun I had in it, he placed his hand on mine and shook his head beratingly, “Don’t be hasty, I’m here to have fun, not for business.” His eyes traveled over my form lazily while he rested his elbow on the wooden counter, his chin held in his palm, “You here with friends?” My eyes flickered to the glass just placed on the counter nehind me and I rapidly grabbed it, covering it with my hand as I stood in front of Rindou. “I am. Is it against the Bonten rules to go out when I’m not a lap dog, or can I have fun?”

He laughed arrogantly while leaning back a bit, a whiskey glass in one hand while his free hand tapped his thigh a few times, “Not sure about it being against the rules, but if you’re a lap dog I’d like to see it.” He said before taking a sip from his glass and looking at me with a smile I was familiar with on someone else. It was exciting, even if it made my blood boil—I needed to stop myself from pouring my drink on him. The drunker I was, the less I could manage my feelings and it could end up bad for me if Bonten was here. “I’ll be leaving, have a good evening.” This time, a voice that ticked me off joined us, it was Shusuke “You were taking long, is he bothering you?” He asked in the most intimidating voice he had as his hand went to the back of his pants, my eyes widening knowing it must be his gun he had brought with.

“He’s a friend, I was simply making conversation while waiting for my drink. No need to be a guard dog.” I said without thinking. Rindou laughed loudly, almost spitting his drink which made Shusuke look at him angrily, as if he was trying to start a fight for no reason. The purple-haired man got off the stool and placed his glass down to stand in front of the police officer. “Heard the woman, she doesn’t need a guard dog.” I didn’t need this, if those men wanted to fight they could do just that, but I couldn’t care less. With one step back, I walked around them and waved off Shusuke, “Come back when you’re done proving whatever, yeah?” The officer mumbled something to the criminal then rushed after me. I was trying to find Shiho to dance with her, but couldn’t see her anywhere. When I glanced around the room, my heart stopped at the sight of her sitting on the couch the furthest in the corner of the room. She was sitting with a familiar face, a man with pink hair that was exactly what she wanted tonight. Sanzu had an arm around her shoulder and tilted her head back while whispering to her as he placed a pill on her tongue before kissing her.

When I was about to walk her way to stop that motherfucker from getting her, an arm wrapped around my arm and pulled me towards the source. “Thought you wanted a bad guy, now you’re leaving me?” He said with a chuckle that clearly was forced, he was annoyed. His arm wrapped around my waist, I placed my hand on his chest to stop me from getting too close and shook my head, “Initiating a fight for no reason is not being a bad guy, it’s just being bad at decisions. Make sure to differentiate the two—” He cut me off by kissing me forcefully, his hands moving to my ass as he tried to deepen the kiss. I was caught off guard and ripped his hands off me before pushing him off with as much force as I could muster. “You’re not a guard dog, you’re a dog in heat.” I spat as I gripped his shirt, I really thought I had the upper hand but he was a cop, he had some training and gripped my hands with as much force to pull me with him to the couch. “Playing hard to get makes it funnier.” When I fell on his lap from his tugging, I held his shoulders tight and leaned over to whisper, “What’s fun is thinking of what I’d do to you if you keep touching me like that.” It was a threat, the more he was being an annoying shit, the more I felt it justified to pull out my gun and shoot him.

After all, Bonten could cover it up, right? One less good cop, we only worked with the corrupted ones and he wasn’t that, he was just trash. I laughed to myself at the thought and gripped his chin roughly, “Do you like games, officer?” When he grabbed my ass again, I slapped him and stood up suddenly, then looked down at him and asked the question again. With a clenched jaw, he stood up and replied, “Depends.”

“We’ll play pool. The winner gets to ask whatever from the loser. Now, it has to be something that’s not too out of their comfort zone. So play your cards right.” I didn’t wait for him to reply and walked ahead of him to get to the pool table where no one was. Rai was at a table with Aiko and some people they had befriended in the little time we were here. I didn’t pay them any mind, right now I wanted to fuck this guy over and get rid of him. If I tried to get out of his sight, he’d find me again and I wouldn’t be able to help Shiho out of Sanzu’s grip. I already had a dare for Shusuke once he lost, something that’d make him either interesting or run away.

I needed to win, or else, how would I dare him to kill someone?

[Part 10]